 kumulu. Now, we had asked you to send us your thoughts in regards to this conversation. We shall sample them up in a few, but before that, take a look at this. That clip is coming up in a bit, remember to be part of this conversation, seeing so many comments coming through on our Twitter handle that are coming up. Remember the hashtag as always is the power talk KE on Twitter at Ramaguko at Y244Channel. Let me just sample a few of your tweets before we head over to those clips. I'm seeing Charles in a very interesting conversation on love and marriage. Without trust and love, nothing can be built. Thank you very much, Charles. I'm seeing Murkomen is saying good morning. Good morning. Loving the conversation, watching you from Langata. I'm seeing DM and I'm watching you from Kawangwari. I'm seeing Mudeki and I'm loving the show, enjoying it. Thank you very much, Mudeki. I'm seeing Queen is saying interesting conversation with Pastor Shadrak. I wish to enter into marriage, but I do not know what to look out for in a man. Men cheat nowadays. What are you? I'm seeing Jarred and I'm loving the conversation. Thank you very much, Jarred. Keep sending in your comments as you continue with this conversation this morning. Love and trust marriage coming up in a bit. Shadrak, you will comment on that. People say men cheat. I don't know if that's a comment that we should write upon. You'll give a comment on that. I don't know, Hamson, Ron. I don't know if it's exactly ready. Is it ready? Okay. Let's pull up that clip. Watch this and hopefully you can learn something from it. Yeah, no worries. It'd be nice just to go out for a coffee or something. Kawangwari, just going to pop to the bathroom and be back in a sec, alright? Alright. Be back in a sec, alright? You on your phone? Why are you looking through my phone? Well, why are you texting someone else? She's a friend from work. Why are you looking through my phone for a start? Because you're texting someone else. I'm asking you, who are you texting? I think it could be anyone. Well, there's nothing going on. Why are you looking through my phone? Right, so are you going to tell me who she is? There's nothing going on. What are you talking about? What kind of a relationship is this and you don't need to tell me? Are you being serious right now? Well, yeah. This is ridiculous. Enjoy your tea. Yeah, she thinks I'm chatting to other girls. I think James is talking to someone else. No, there's literally nothing going on. That's the thing. I think he really likes talking to her. I mean, we were out and he was still texting her. It's just a friend of work. I just hope it's not got too far. Alright, just something that you can be able to get to understand from that. When people do not trust each other, they don't trust each other. Touch on that. As you comment on what one of our viewers has said, let's touch first of all on this issue of checking your partner's phone. Does it mean that every time you check your partner's phone that you don't trust each other? You know, this issue is so rampant everywhere. Amongst couples, either they are dating or they are marriage. You know, they always like suspect there must be something in this phone that somebody is hiding from me. This is a big issue. That's why somebody said nowadays we have only private phones. No, that one. Yeah, yeah. So everybody, you can find someone who has got six passwords on the phone. Simply because they want to... Yeah, face. Facial recognition. Yes, facial recognition, the finger and everything. But this boils down to that point that I see communication. If communication has been there from the beginning, like we see this is how we use our gadgets, things like that, then we also begin to trust your wife or your spouse with their phones. You don't wait until they are out and then you check them. Why can't you just pick it then if you want to check while they are there? You check. Okay, go on. When it comes to sharing of passwords, can that build trust? Okay, so you say that if you want to trust me, if you want to trust you, then for me to trust you as my partner, give me the password to your phone, the password to your social media accounts and the password to your bank and all codes to your even bank account details. I think that one shows that there is a lot of distrust. Because passwords I believe they are just supposed to protect your content from outsiders. That's what I believe. Okay, and then when it is demanded as a way of building trust, then I don't think there's a solid ground to build on trust. Still we don't solve trust. No, won't solve it because at the end of the day you'll get that password and then you'll find something that maybe there was a conversation going on there. You have not read the context of the conversation then you come up with your own conclusion. Jamit conclusion, that's right. So I believe passwords to just be shared out for convenience purposes. For example, if you have your passwords for your phones and things like that in the event maybe you are incapacitated, you are sick, somebody may need to have that password to help you maybe get some education or give some payment. They not to be good. That's why we say you share it with your next of kin. Not for trust purpose but for convenience. And security. Only that. You secure your data and everything from outsiders and convenience to your family. Now in case you suspect this is a problem snooping around the phone, is it recommended? That has brought a lot of problems. Because you may discover things that in that phone that really didn't need to to know. As I said, sometimes maybe somebody has inadvertently sent something on your phone maybe it was on WhatsApp, a picture. It was not meant for you. It was meant for somebody else. It comes there. Now you see. So it comes a problem. How do you complain from checking each other's phones? I think phones have brought a lot of problems. I suggest that let phones just be free, be available there without being too much heated. Sometimes I've had and I've talked to people even canceling them because they had issues with phone. They have to go with their phone to the washroom to the bathroom and everywhere and one of them went with it and it fell into an iPhone into the toilet so you can imagine because they are trying to guard so much. So if you know you are not doing anything wrong then don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. I also read the Bible that says the guilty run even on is chasing them. When you come to a marriage setting and you have people who say that all men cheat. All men cheat. That breaks trust. That is something that has just been generalized that all men cheat. It's not true. We have men who really love their wives who trust their wives and who care for their wives, who care for their families who really honor marriage because the Bible says honor marriage and honor that bed. That is a command from the Lord and also in Ephesians 5 the Bible says that let husbands love their wives just as Christ loved the church. When you love you will not be able to cheat because love is a great commandment. Because when you love you think about your spouse. What will happen to their psychological lives? What will happen to the relationship you have? What about your children? How are they going to look at you as a father who is a cheater who cheats on their mother or vice versa as a mother who cheats on their dad but the bottom line is that when we love like Christ did then we care even how they will feel. What should a man do to prove to the wife that she is loved trusted and cared for? If you bring in efforts I think you can reach a point and then you can add I believe it should be first of all you as the man you must have God be the center of your life. When God is the center of your life then you will value your spouse and value their life Right? And then everything else that happens after that is as a response of the life of Christ that is in you that you will be able to love them because proving sometimes you can fake just for convenience purposes You can fake actions? Yes you can fake but then if it's a lifestyle my friend it's a lifestyle that's who you are you love your wife no matter what and that's what brings us in on the issue of character you know character is a huge word but you know character is what we are when people are not seeing us for example if you travel from me to Kisumu and your wife is in Nairobi you are in a hotel there and you are able to maintain the same lifestyle while you are in the presence of your wife when no one is watching when your wife is not there yes that is the case so character is what is needed interesting in today's generation we are talking about love building love and trust in a marriage now when it comes to building this love and this trust to publicly recognize that this is my wife this is the person that I love you publicly display your wife is that also a solution to building love in your marriage? No I don't think so but public declaration of your wife or appreciating her publicly it's okay it's good after all if you love her then she should be the jewel of your heart so you are proud to present her because that's what you need to do but then that one can never build love love is from within because some of these things will do it for the camera and that's why I've seen people social media is something that came and social media has revolutionized the way we do things you take a selfie with your wife and you post and you give some beautiful words there and then in the evening you are hammering her some clubbers because you have disagreed so here people in social media they are really commenting and saying oh what a lovely family power couple and on the other hand your wife has a black eye they can't say marriage goals marriage goals are what you need you see people taking photos these are really marriage goals so publicly it is okay it let love come from the heart from the heart let what you speak to each other in the bedroom when nobody else is seeing let it be the same life so you should not try to build it publicly before it's built privately it must start from within powerful and then this other comes automatically it's nothing that will do nothing it will show itself just like a okay when I am looking at some of your feedback on social media I am seeing Winnie is saying sure when the trust is gone nothing holds the relationship powerful there we have Oruko is saying I love the insight from Pazashadrak you see people I don't know this conversation the hashtag as always is power talk show on twitter at ramagugoat y254 channel at the eclipse we can take a look at what people are saying with the clips that they sent remember we ask our viewers and our supporters to send a one minute clip about what they think on this conversation if the clips are ready just let me know and then we can play them one or two of them Pazashadrak I want us to touch on one other issue second marriages when your first marriage broke is it possible to have love and trust on a second marriage can second marriages have the ability to be more successful now you mean that second marriage you have to define how you come to that second marriage is it after maybe somebody your spouse has gone to be the lord or is it after divorce so I think it's good for us to be clear as a whole which one let's start with after divorce of course now that divorce is common and people get into second marriages if you are not able to sort out the problems that made you to fail in the first marriage then even the second one don't think it will be any different until the problems are solved and that's why I said we all have backgrounds and when you get into a relationship before you do anything else you must be able to bring the briefcases and pack everything from your past both of you and look at it be open to each other once you are open to each other you say this one cannot work I don't like this this is our differences but then how can we use our differences to make it better so yes they can work if you sorted the issues that made the first one to fail you must have that conversation no matter how painful it is it is very critical that you have the conversation communication now if it's a second marriage after the first marriage was ended due to death then I think it's still something that you can be able to work on well everything must be go through the same process communication you know they said I was reading something and they said that for you to know whether you are succeeding you must know what is making you to succeed then you will avoid what will make you to fail powerful yes let's take a look at what people have said on the clips I'm seeing do you start with the one called fianoma okay fianoma let's take a look at what you said about love and trust in marriage my name is Nik and concerning the question about love and trust in marriage I don't think that for now there is something we can concretely say that there is love in marriages or concrete trust like when it was during our forefathers time most of the things around us like materialism money has taken big part in shaping the kind of marriages that we have nowadays and so for me I don't think that there is 100% love in marriages I don't believe that there is 100% trust in marriages and the world has been changed so much by how women have changed how relationships should be handled how they should be taken care of and this has changed the whole scenario about love hi, I'm Joyce and I'm happy to talk about today's topic for me I feel that marriage will be built on love and trust why? because this is a life partner you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with and for me when I hear the word trust I see dependency I see believe and I see safety not only physically but inwardly so if you chosen a life partner make sure your marriage is built on love and trust I believe that love and trust go hand in hand because wherever there is love there is trust and wherever there is trust there is automatically love thank you you've heard what our viewers have said comment on that there is one viewer who just said that marriage there is no love or trust 100% and of course nobody even expects 100% but again there must be growth, maturity there must be a starting point whereby you say we are starting from here and our vision is to bring this marriage to this level if you are not able to give yourself that benefit that I am able to build this marriage gradually as God will help me then you will give up because if you think now things are done no more trust, no more love so let's just live like animals and then you won't be able to achieve anything grow it nowadays we have many interesting marriages where people marry for convenience we are living together in Nairobi so we stay together we can have children but we are staying together there is no love they are just staying together because they are trying to push life together to pay rent and survive in Nairobi we have seen all those kind of arrangements we don't think that is what God desires because the intention of God was for man to live in a union where they support each other when you look at the good scriptures in Genesis 1, 26, 27, 28 he says and God said let us make man in our own image and so in the image of God he created them plural they want them plural male and female and then he goes down and says they want them power to dominate to be fruitful to multiply as two of them in a union not in a convenience which means they must be able to agree this is what we shall be this shall be our life and this shall define who we are a union meaning that together not out of convenience no no no we shall just be going we won't have anything connecting us but we are going in some direction we can have children we can help pay each others rent but then there is nothing that really connect us because marriage is a union when couples get to the point that they no longer trust each other completely what should they do I think that's when they really need to seek cancel and when they seek cancel they can get advice when people come into marriage they have their own ideas of how marriage should be and sometimes they also bring in experiences from other marriages and when they try to apply these that they saw in other marriages they fail so they think marriage does not work because they saw another person's marriage not working yeah it will not work listen it is important to seek help and not only marriage many many areas of life we need help and that's why the scripture says that two are better than one you know if you are able to talk to somebody you'll be able to give an advice and then by your own heart you make a decision and find out so don't give up until you seek for help and solution alright I want to give you one minute to speak to Kenyans your thoughts about how we can have healthy relationships and healthy marriages so that you can be able to build love and trust I'm giving you one minute to speak to Kenyans that is your camera pala say something in a minute yes in order for us to continue to build healthy marriages and healthy relationships it is important for us to remember that communication is very key because in communication we are able to send out information and receive feedback for the same let us build our character that our character should demonstrate who we are, whether we are with the people or whether we are on our own let our life self be so keen and to help us develop and even grow love and trust we must be able to support each other support each other in your dreams in your desires in your callings everything that you do and also it's very important to make it a team effort all the time when we make it a team effort then we are not competitors but we are here to help each other we become partners in marriage and in relationship and then lastly I want you to know that do not let our differences stay as apart but rather let us seek how we can be able to work on our differences and be able to move forward to be able to have a successful marriage that has trust that has love and it's growing but above all I want you to put God first in your marriage and trust him and believe that it's going to take you to the greatest level of your life in Jesus' name amen amen and always your blessed for life that is Pasha Shadrak manera from Calvary Covenant Center in Kamulu he is a senior pastor there thank you very much pastor thank you Ram for having me here now as we conclude this conversation I am glad I want to appreciate everyone who ensure that this show was a success thank you very much for keeping it Y254 this is power talk one person one wise man one said that a successful marriage is not with perfect people enjoying their imperfection their imperfectness my name is Ram Magukko may God bless you may God bless the work of