 Oh, we're talking about how to raise your value in a guy's eye so that he falls in love with you and he wants to commit to you and he wants you to be his one and only. This is actually something I talk a lot about in my Make Him Want You program. I have a new program, so there's this program that I have, it's called Make Him Want You and I'm unleashing version 2.0 right now and this is like one of the big topics that I talk about in that program because it's kind of this hidden thing that a lot of people don't really understand. A lot of women don't really get about a man and so if you're in a situation where a man is taking you for granted or he's not really committing to you, he's not opening himself up to fall in love, he's kind of doing things where he's pulling back or ignoring you or stuff like that. A lot of times, not every time, but a lot of times that has to do with the way that he sees you, right? Like the way that he either values you or doesn't value you and we've talked a lot about this in a lot of the videos that we've done, you know, like the way that he sees you and what is, how does he think? Like if you wanna be like the special, like a man, like the one for him, you know? You wanna be like, I call it like that one special woman in his life. The thing that you need to do more than anything is to raise your value. So I don't know if we introduced ourselves, I don't think we introduced ourselves yet. I'm Matthew Coast, if you don't know who I am and here's Helena Hart, say hi, Helena. Hey everybody, thanks for the comments. I love seeing everyone here, this is so fun. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, I love it too, I love the comments. And so, you know, if you really, if this is your first time to our channel, make sure that you hit the subscribe button so that you don't miss anything. We're gonna have lots of other great videos for you in the future. So if this is your first time, hit subscribe to get more. So value to a man, what it does is, like if you really, if you wanna become like the priority in a man's life, if you want him to chase after you or pursue you, if you want him to, if you wanna be someone who he wants to be with for life, if you want him to feel like he wants to allow himself to fall in love with you, if you wanna be somebody that he wants to commit to and that he wants to convince you to commit to him, then the fastest and most, the best path to getting there is through raising your value in his eyes. So we're gonna give you six ways today, six ways to raise your value in his eyes. And the last one, number six, is the most important one. So stay tuned for that one. I always love saying that, that's so much fun. So Helena, number one, let's talk about this. Number one, the number one, the first way that we're gonna be talking about is giving him ways to invest in you and then leaning back, right? And so I'm gonna kind of take the charge on this one real quick and then we'll switch over to you, Helena. But you know, so one of the biggest, we're kind of in this age where a lot of women are like, I don't want to, you know, I don't need a man for anything, you know, and it's kind of gone into this place where a lot of times they end up like kind of shutting themselves off to men, right? They shut themselves, they're like so strong and independent that they don't allow a man to really be in their lives, you know? And you know, from a masculine standpoint, if you're dating or in a relationship, seeing a masculine man, you know, part of his job that he feels like from a strong biological and primal standpoint is that he needs to like take care of things, he needs to help out, you know? He needs to kind of be there for you in a way where he can provide, right? So he can take care of things, he can fix stuff, he can, you know, be there financially. These are all things that the masculine feels like it's their duty to do for a woman. And when you kind of shut that off to a man, a lot of times he won't feel like, one, he won't feel like there's a place for him in your life, and two, it actually drops your value because he doesn't see you as somebody that's like long-term potential, you know? And so, you know, one of the things I talk about is asking for help, right? Like asking the guy for help. For even with things that you can do yourself, not because you need him to do it, but because it gives him a way to kind of invest in you from an energy standpoint, right? He's giving to you, he's giving you a gift. And when you do that, you need to just lean back, right? Like, I know there's a lot of women that they'll do stuff like this and they'll ask for help and then it's like, they're like in there, you know? Like watching his every move and being like, oh, I wouldn't do it. No, you know what? Let me just do it myself, you know? Because, you know, the guy isn't doing it the way that she wants him to do it, which is totally, I totally get that. You know, as a business owner, I totally get that all the time. You know, I like will hire somebody and I'm like, oh, I wouldn't do it that way, but you gotta let him, you gotta let him do it, you know, because that makes them feel like they're invested, like they're a part of your life, like they really, you know, are in this with you together. So did you wanna say anything about that, Helena? Yes, I do. I'm just enjoying these comments here. These are so awesome. Somebody said this couldn't have come at a better time and everyone's helping each other out. It's great. Yeah, you know, I always say that men cannot really fall in love and connect with us when we're like over functioning and compulsively giving to them. They fall in love when they're giving to us and that's what really increases our value in their eyes when they're giving to us, when they're helping us, even if like Matt said, even if it's something that we could do ourselves maybe faster or easier. So, but yeah, it's really, really important to really be able to demonstrate that you can receive from a man and that's how you do it. Give them ways to invest in you. And it can be hard for us to wanna do that to give up control a little bit. Like I found that over giving and over functioning is actually a control thing. So to lean back and let a man step up and help you and invest in you can be kind of like this foreign feeling for us, especially at first. But once you try it and start to get some really amazing results, it'll start to feel much more natural. So it's very important. Yeah, absolutely. So Lucy Major says, just pull back on everything and watch him score. That's kind of funny. And at the same time, there's kind of this thing where in a lot of the comments that we've gotten there's been kind of these weird revenge things going on there. So I think it's kind of a funny thing. I hope it's kind of a funny thing as opposed to like some kind of a revenge thing because revenge things don't work as much. So hello, if you're just joining us in this chat, make sure you just say hello in the chat box here. And so was that all you wanted to say about that, Helena? Yeah, I mean, do you want me to go into number two? Yeah, sure, go ahead. What do we have more? Okay, yeah. So number two is developing your feminine magnetism. Do I have that right? I don't have these written down. I'm just going, did I, is that number two? Yes, yes, number two. Okay, so feminine magnetism is something that we're just really starting to talk about a lot. We did a whole live stream two days ago on the number one thing that men find beautiful in a woman and it had to do with your feminine magnetism. We shared seven aspects of that or seven ways to apply it. So it's really important and that's all about getting out of that masculine mode where you're trying to do things and make things happen constantly to try to like make a guy value you more, you know? It can be easy to get into these like little gains and strategies. Like I'm gonna do this to make this guy see me a certain way and it doesn't work. Like that will backfire on you every time because it's all about him, you know? He can pick up in your energy or your vibe that you're trying to do something to affect him and it's just completely backwards. So you want to step into your feminine magnetism so you can really pull him towards you. I don't know how specific you want me to get on this because we talked so much about it on Sunday. I mean, what do you think? Well, so let's just talk a little bit about like, so feminine magnetism, really what it's about is opening space, right? It's about a whole bunch of different things that really what it ends up doing is it creates this like magnetic pole with a man, right? And so most women that I meet in general in life tend to be in their masculine energy these days because they're in that when they're at work, they're in that mindset and they come home and they show up and they want to go and like meet guys or they're in a relationship and they're still kind of in this masculine frame of mind and to a guy it's not that it's, I mean, sometimes it can be repulsive but usually it's just not attractive in any way. And it kind of, and when you flip that, when you get into this feminine magnetism that we've been talking about, it really kind of pulls a man in and it makes him want, it makes him feel like you're just this amazing, magical, like beautiful special woman and it makes him feel like he just wants to grab you and hold you tight and protect you and make sure that everything in your life is okay. And yeah, I mean, like we said, we did another live stream on that and our program, Feminine Enchantment, if you haven't seen that one yet, if you go to feminineenchantment.com, that entire thing is about being feminine and or being in your feminine magnetism and really attracting a man from that aspect. Did you want to say anything else? Yeah, it's just, yeah, it's about trusting and allowing your feminine magnetism is all about being in the present moment rather than leaning forward and trying to make something happen constantly with a man, like push things forward or try and do things to move things along. A lot of times men are always kind of worried that we're trying to do something, even if we're not specifically doing it, like sometimes it's just somewhere in our eyes or somewhere in our energy. So if you can lean back and really create that space for a man to come towards you, if he's the right man for you, he's going to want to step into that space but you have to learn how to lean back and create that space first. That's what feminine magnetism is all about. A lot of it has to do with stopping, doing all of the things that push men away and then once you take away all those things that aren't working for you, we give you things that you can say and that you can do to really ramp up your feminine magnetism and make him see you as super valuable. Yeah, you know, it's kind of interesting. I mean, I wish we had all the kind of the, all the testimonials that we've gotten from feminine enchantments so far because it's just, it's amazing when you do that switch and you move into your feminine, it's amazing how guys just start moving towards you. You know, guys who used to kind of pull away, guys who used to try to make you work for him or try to get you to where you feel like you have to try to convince him to commit to you, stepping into your feminine magnetism, that's really, you know, it raises your value in a man's eye and it makes him move towards you and start putting in effort. It makes him start doing all the little things that you want him to do, basically. So, yeah, okay, so that was number two. So like I said before, we have six of these things and number six is the most important one so you'll want to stay tuned for that one. It's really great, I'm telling you. It's by far the most important thing here. So number three is choose him but don't tie yourself down to him completely, right? So a lot of times what women end up doing is they do this thing where they kind of smother a guy, right? And it's like, you know, I used to, I've had this in my own dating life before where I would like, like I'd be talking to a girl and there wouldn't even be anything there. Like it's no, there was no relationship, you know, there was nothing really going on there. Yet at the same time, she would like be like, you know what I mean? You're it, you know? And there's nobody else and I'm not talking to anyone else and I don't do that when I'm dating someone and I'm like, we're not even dating, you know what I mean? Like, you know, and it's just really unattractive for a guy when you jump on him and you're just like, this is it. You know, this is all there is and when you kind of allow yourself to pull back and say, you know what, I'm choosing you, you know? And at the same time, until we're in this thing where it's fully committed, right? Where he's fully committed, you know, I'm not fully committed necessarily, right? So that's kind of the mindset that I'm, I think would be incredibly beneficial for you to have when you're seeing a guy is that you're choosing him, but it's not over until he chooses you too, fully for commitment, right? And I see women all the time, it's like they're with a bunch of people at a party and they're like, yeah, and she runs up and she tells all of them that she's gonna go jump in the pool and they're like, oh, cool, you know? And they're like, yeah, you guys should come in the pool and you guys should all come into the pool and then she runs and jumps in the pool and she's like hanging out in the pool by herself because everybody was like, yeah, I mean, there was kind of a good idea, but I didn't really decide that I wanted to do it yet, you know, and you're already in the pool and I kind of don't want to get, you know, wet and cold right now, you know? And being in this pool or whatever is going on in this pool. And so, you know, it's kind of a funny metaphor but at the same time, it's like a lot of women are out there swimming alone. And they're in this pool by themselves and there's this man on the side who hasn't jumped in the pool yet, right? And they're like, I'm in it, I'm in it. You know, aren't you coming in? And he's like, I haven't even decided that I wanna be in there yet, right? And so, you really need to, before you fully commit yourself to a relationship, you need to allow that man to commit to you as well. Otherwise, you're gonna be swimming alone, so. Oh my gosh, totally, I totally agree. Yeah, if you're single, keep your options open. That's like the best four words I could ever tell you about anything. And I know some people might not agree with me on that, but yeah, keep your options open not to strategically try to make a guy jealous again because then that's all about him still, right? And it doesn't really have anything to do with him. It's about not over investing in a man until he's invested in you. That's one of the biggest mistakes I see women make. They over invest themselves emotionally and otherwise in a man who hasn't chosen her yet and who isn't putting forth that effort. Like a man needs to, his energy needs to be coming towards you. You need to kinda know where you stand with him before I would consider getting overly invested in him or a potential relationship. Cause just that energy of like, oh, she wants something from me and I'm not quite there yet is kind of repelling to a man, wouldn't you say? Yeah, it's kind of going back to number one where we talked about a guy investing in you. So a lot of times, you know, so for a guy and we talked about this in the feminine, the one where we were talking about feminine magnetism, but, you know, when a guy invests in you that's when he feels like he's really, like he doesn't wanna let you go, right? So the more invested he is in you, the less he'll feel like he wants you to leave, right? And the more likely he is to be like, hey, I'm taking you off the dating market, I want you and only you, you're my one forever, right? And so the more, the less invested he is in you, the less likely he is to not let you go, right? So if he's not invest in you and you're like, hey, I'm leaving, it's like, for him, it's like, okay, you know, I don't, do I care that much? I don't know, you know, and whether he cares or not depends on how much he values you, right? And so that's what we're talking about here, all this stuff, right? And all of these things together, all of these six elements are important. For him, when he looks at you to be like, I want you and I wanna take you off the market, I don't want you to leave, I don't want you to see other guys, let's do this, right? So yeah, is there anything else you wanna answer? Yeah, are we answering questions on this one? There's some, you know, people asking questions that are related to this, but I don't know how much time we have. It's totally- Yeah, did you wanna talk to, so- Well, it's not a specific question about a situation, but somebody just asked, you know, so should you tell him, hey, if you're not committed, then I'm gonna date others, even if you're committed to only being intimate with each other, I would say you don't, I mean, if he hasn't specifically asked you to be exclusive, I would just assume that you're dating. You're just, that you're just dating until a guy specifically says, I mean, sexual exclusivity is something completely different, like if you're sleeping with this guy and you wanna make sure that he's not sleeping with anyone else or pursuing anyone else, sexually, you know, you can talk with him about that. I mean, what would you say? I don't think it's something you really need to say, it's more of, unless he's asking you, he's asking you if you're dating other men, I certainly wouldn't lie about it. I would be honest and say, I mean, what is it that you're looking for? If you're looking for a long-term, committed, exclusive relationship, then you can say, you know, it feels better to kind of, before investing in someone, it feels better to make sure we're on the same page before becoming exclusive with someone. It just depends on the situation. There's all different ways you can go with that. Yeah, and so, Kate Cashmere, Kate Cashmere, great name, says, so how does this work if you've already had sex but still talk daily? You know, it doesn't matter if you've already had sex or not, right? So, you know, there's this kind of thing where a lot of women are like, you know, I had sex, you know, like the dynamics have totally changed. And to some extent, the dynamics have changed, right? So, the deeper you are in things with him, the less leverage you really have, right? So, there was a woman that commented on one of our YouTube videos yesterday, and she mentioned how she had been, like she moved in with this guy and they were together for a few months, right? And they had a relationship like they were committed or married or something, but they weren't committed or married or something. And so, she, he ended up leaving for another girl, I guess, or whatever. And she's like, okay, this is what ended up happening to me. And so, if you don't get that commitment from a guy, right? If you don't get something, if there's not something there, you know, he's not invested, you, you're giving him everything in a relationship, but you're only seeing him casually, that's where he is in his mind. So, I guess one of the things that I've heard a lot, and I've kind of witnessed a lot between men and women, is that men kind of have this compartmentalization right in their minds. And women kind of have this flow of connectivity, so everything's kind of connected. And they, for a man, if he gets into a situation where he's seeing you casually, and there's no kind of tie to it being something long-term, it being a committed relationship, it being something that's moving towards marriage, you haven't talked about it, he's not thinking about it. I mean, if he's thinking about it and he wants it and he knows that he wants it with you, it's not a big deal, right? You can sleep with a guy whenever, right? But if you haven't talked about it, he's not thinking about it, and he's not thinking about it with you, then giving him all of these things without making sure that he's thinking about you in that way is going to make it much, much, much less likely for him to value you, and much, much, much less likely for him to commit to you and give you the long-term relationship that you want. I've seen women that have been in relationships, casual relationships with guys for 12 years, and to them, they're like, oh, this is it, we're together, we've been together, right? Cause it's all the oxytocin, you know, and they've been with this guy for so long, and the guy's like, ah, you know, she's just a girl that I'm seeing, you know? She's just some, you know, we're friends, but we also hook up, you know? And a guy can feel that way pretty much forever, right? And so, if you don't want that, you have to change the conversation at some point. You have to get it to a space of, and the commitment topic is a big, big topic. I think I did a video about this, I'm not sure if I did or not, but if I didn't, I will, and we'll talk about this some more, but the commitment topic is a very, very big topic, and what needs to happen and what it looks like for men, and kind of what those different stages are, and what needs to happen for a man to commit, what needs to happen if you're already sexual for a guy to commit, those are all very, very important topics that we don't really have time to talk about at the moment, but we will. So did you wanna talk about anything else around that? Yeah, just that, you know, what you want has to be on the table in order to invest, or, you know, a man needs to feel an emotional attraction to you before I would ever advise sleeping with him, unless you're not looking for a real relationship with him. But yeah, in terms of becoming exclusive with a man, that's like a pretty big deal to close off your other options like that. Like to me, that's a huge, huge deal. So what you want has to be on the table. I would definitely make sure you're on the same page in terms of what the two of you ultimately want because I can't tell you how many women I hear from who just kind of agree to be exclusive with a guy, and they really wanna like, for example, settle down and get married. They don't even know if that's what the guy wants for himself ultimately. So you don't wanna have to, you don't wanna be stuck in a situation where you might have to back yourself out of it. Just make sure you're on the same page before committing yourself to someone like that. Yeah, absolutely. All right, so let's move on to number four. So this is number four of six, right? I'm really good at counting with my fingers. And so number six is the most important one. So make sure that you stay tuned, stay listening, this is good stuff. We're getting a lot of great comments in here. Thanks for, if you're just showing up, if you haven't commented, make sure you say hi, make sure you say hello. We love interacting with everybody. We love seeing everybody that's talking to us. We have a ton of people on here right now. So we agreed to sleep with each other. Okay, Diane Stevens. Okay. Right. We can control or set the pace of the relationship when we deny sex. You have to be very careful about that one. Cause it can get into this, depending on when you're doing it and how you're doing it, that can get into a very revengeful, resentful space for a man, right? If you're, you know, if he thinks or feels like you're intentionally manipulating him with sex, that can go downhill really, really quickly. So, all right. So number four is, and I've actually seen some people kind of talk about similar situations here, but when he does something neglectful, right? Like, or he's kind of like off in his own space or he's not making you a priority or he's kind of, you feel like maybe he's taking you for granted. What you need to do, so what a lot of women do, and we've kind of been talking about this a little bit, is a lot of women go for revenge, right? They'll do things like deny him sex or they'll, you know, try to emotionally abuse him, right? There was a woman earlier on one of our videos today actually talking about how she wanted to emotionally abuse a guy who was like, okay, yeah, that's gonna lead to a healthy long-term relationship, not. And so, you know, instead of going for revenge, what you need to do is you need to communicate to him that it's unattractive, one. And two, kind of pull back a little bit and give him some more space to invest in you again, right? So, if you're attacking him and doing all these things, what you're gonna do is just make him resentful. If you abuse him, if you emotionally abuse him, if you verbally abuse him, if you start withholding sex to get back at him, if you do anything in that revenge category, what it does is it just creates resentment between you and him, which can lead to the complete and total destruction of your relationship. So one of the, there's this research study out there that was done by the Relationship Research Institute. And what they found is they've been able to determine whether a marriage will end in divorce with a 90% accuracy, right? So nine times out of 10, they can accurately predict whether a relationship is gonna end in divorce. And the number one factor for that has to do with the positive to negative emotional ratio that the relationship has. So if the relationship has a lot of negativity in it, right, then there's a good chance that it's gonna end. And it has to be five times as much positivity as there is negativity, which is why if you're going for revenge and if you're trying to hurt him and you're trying to get back at him and you're trying to show him how right you are and how wrong he is, you're more likely to destroy your relationship than you are to end up doing something that's healthy and coming together long-term and creating the relationship that you really want. And so instead, what you should do is let him know that it's unattractive and pull back and give him space so that he can come into it and invest in you and prove to you that he's worthy of you and the relationship that you wanna have together and not in a spiteful way, right? So, did I explain that well? Hallelujah. Yeah, yeah, I love that. In feminine enchantment, I talk about this in terms of choosing the relationship or choosing the connection over things like getting your way this one time or letting a guy know that punishing him or it goes from this ego-based, kind of like pushing and shoving each other into trying to get our needs met into this choosing the relationship and the connection because when you do that, when you fix everything at its foundation, all of these other little things kind of fall into place because a man's not going to want to pull away. He's not gonna feel this urge to ignore you or do all of these things that we don't want men to do when he's feeling connected to you and when he really sees you as like the most valuable woman in the world or the most valuable person in his life. So it's not, I wanna mention, it's not about just accepting horrible behavior from men because we don't want you to think that. It's definitely, it's not just about accepting whatever he does, it's about choosing the relationship and the connection over everything else. So going deeper beyond this one, I'm gonna punish a guy or get revenge because I didn't like the way he behaved. How would you, I'm just curious as to what you would say, how would you suggest a woman go about telling a guy that something was unattractive or turn her off or something like that? Well, it's, I'd suggest doing it exactly in that way is talking about it in terms of being unattractive or and not in the moment. So one of the biggest challenges and one of the biggest kind of sources of kind of conflict is when you go in and you're just like, hey, you know, you're in the moment, you're angry and you're like, you know, you pissed me off, you know what I mean? And then all kinds of bad things can happen that way. I think that there's probably better ways to do it, especially if you're framing it in the right way. I love framing. It seems to be an advanced technique I'm learning now, but I love it, you know, it's, you know, talking about it in terms of either like another relationship of somebody else where, you know, you have a similar situation, you're like, man, it's, you know, it's really unattractive to me when a guy does that, you know, or, you know, I found that, you know, or talking about like another thing that actually works really, really well. And I actually found this in the business world and then ended up bringing it into my relationships is instead of saying, you know, just being like I'm angry or like I hate that or that's really unattractive, what you can do is say in the future, right? So you say in the future and then ask a question, like can you do this, right? So in the future, could you make sure and, you know, just let me know that you're okay because, you know, sometimes I get worried about you and I wanna make sure that you're, you know, everything's going well with you, right? And so when you're not like shaming him and condemning him in the moment because that's like really painful and kind of pushes the guy back, right? Instead, if you're talking about this future reality of this place that you'd love to be and that you really want and you say in the future, you know, can you do this? A lot of times the person that you're talking to, the guy that you're talking to will realize like it'll snap in his head and you'll be like, oh man, I'm sorry, yeah, I'll do that. You know, it's not a big deal. I'm, you know, I was here at this one time and this really, you know, was whatever and he'll explain it or whatever. And that's a much, much, much more powerful way to come about it than just, were you asking me that because I'm the tactical guys I want? Well, I just imagine people listening would want to know exactly how to do that. It just seemed like a really valuable thing. I think that's great. I think that's great. Hey, so, oh, sorry. Oh, Mr. These comments are great. Yeah, let him come to you. Don't be angry that he pulled away just being your feminine energy. Absolutely. Ruby says I've learned to stay soft but authentic. That's really, yeah, these are just fantastic comments. Yeah, so, hey, if you're in this live chat with this live stream with us and you're following along, make sure you say something in the chat box. Say, you know, I'm there with you. Say I'm with you, right? Just throw that in there. We'll see. But yeah, there's a lot of great chats in here. Thanks so much for talking to each other. We're on number five here. So number five is of six, five of six, good with number counting on my fingers. Five of six is kind of more of a lifestyle thing, right? And it's creating a life that you really enjoy. And so this kind of goes back to the number three that we're talking about where a woman just jumps in and is like, you know, and a lot of times that happens because she doesn't have her own life that she's living. A lot of times women come to me and they're like, oh, I need this guy to make me happy. I need this guy to fulfill me. I need, I want this relationship to make me happy and be what I want in my life. And so that's really unattractive, right? It's really unattractive before, like while you're dating. And it's also really unattractive when you're in a relationship. And I wanna be clear about this because a lot of times women kind of take this the wrong way. Like I'm not saying that you need to make up a bunch of stuff that you're pretending like you're doing or try to get interested in things you don't really care about, right? Like have things that are hobbies in your life and they could be anything, you know? They could be things that you do at home because you're a homebody. They can be things that you like to do out in nature because you're into nature. It could be, you know, anything that you're into just having a life, having some friends, having people that you're into so that it's not all about the guy when you're in the relationship. And when you do that, right? And there's kind of a spectrum here. So we kind of talked about this the other day in our live stream where there's kind of this spectrum that people go through where they're like, you know, one side it's like they're doing nothing with their lives and there's this other spectrum where it's like, you know, the first date that I have that I can make with, you know, a guy is in three weeks to a month because I'm so busy that I don't really have a place for him in my life, which is fine if that's, you know, if you don't want to, you know, move into that and have a space for him in your life. But creating a life that you really enjoy and creating your own happiness and being fulfilled and coming to a man from that space makes him look at you and be like, oh man, she's easy, right? Not from like a sexual standpoint, but from like, you know, like it's easy to be around her. It's easy to make her happy. It's easy to, you know, to be with this woman, right? And that feeling of like, it's easy to be around this woman makes him, you know, immediately open a space for you in this long-term committed relationship category, right? Because most women that guys feel like they go, like I used to be a men's dating coach and, you know, one of the challenges, there's a lot of different challenges that guys have with women, right? And one of the ones that they talk about all the time and they complain to me about is like the women that they'd meet and, you know, she's just, you know, angry or it's really hard to talk to her. It's really, you know, all these things. And the easier he feels like it is to be around and with you, the more likely he is to feel that you're a valuable aspect to his life and that he can see you as somebody that's long-term committed relationship material. So. I think that's great. No, you totally right in my mind. I was thinking about the fine line between you wanna like just be living your life magnificently, almost oblivious to him. And I know that sounds kind of extreme, but that's the opposite of being like laser focused on a guy or trying to get him to make us happy. That combined with having space, you know, creating that space for him in your life. I know I have clients who have been, the ones who end up being single for a really long time before meeting someone are those ones just like, what Matt was saying is like, well, I have room in my schedule two weeks from now. And then again in another three weeks and there's just, you know, a man might, you know, try for a little while, but eventually he'll start to give up. So there's that side of it too. But yeah, we can a lot of times be looking to others to fulfill these kind of deep unmet needs we have within ourselves, like the need to feel like we have this full complete life. So you wanna give those feelings to yourself first and make sure you're like filling yourself up and radiating that out rather than looking to a man to make you feel that way because you feel this like void within yourself. It's really important because a man can give, he might, you know, give you a little bit of that and it feels incredible, but he can't keep it going forever. Like no human being can fulfill that thing that we're looking for within our own selves. It'll be like a drug effect, it can't last. And I was talking to a client about this last night. You always need more and more of it in order to feel, get the same effect. It's like a drug effect. And eventually you're gonna like crash and burn because you can't get any more of it from a man or from another person. So you have to learn how to fill yourself up with some of these things that we need rather than looking outside of yourself to a man especially because that will drive him away for sure. Well, what it does and just to give you kind of a aspect of like a man's point of view, like when a guy meets a woman and she feels like she needs him, right? To feel good about herself and to fulfill herself and to be happy and all these things. Like what Helena was saying, it's going to, after a little bit, it's never gonna be enough, right? And what a guy feels is like, what he feels is I can never please her, right? I can never be enough for her. I like what she wants is completely unrealistic and like, and that's from a long-term perspective. From a short-term perspective, he might feel like you're trying to use him, right? He might feel like you drain his energy emotionally, right? Like being around you is like really kind of like this very challenging and difficult and emotionally destructive thing for him and he needs to pull away and like get away from you completely. And that's kind of the feelings that a man gets when you rely on him for your happiness and wellbeing and emotional states for yourself. So yeah, sir, anything else? No, I think that was great. That all goes along with creating a full, complete life outside of a man. So I think we're good. Do you want me to move on to number six? Yeah, so here's number six. This is the most important one and Helena Hart, our beautiful and amazing Helena Hart is going to go ahead and tell you what that one is. I love that you say it's the most important one because it's the one that I came up with. So thank you for that. Okay, so the last part is the most important one, in my opinion or in our opinion, I guess, is that you have to increase your value in your own eyes first. So you have to see yourself as a really valuable person and a valuable woman that any man would be lucky to get to be with because I know it can be easy to get really wrapped up in how we feel about a guy as if we're really attracted to him or the chemistry is off the charts or the sex is really good. It can be easy to get all wrapped up in how we're feeling about him and completely ignoring how we're feeling about ourselves. So it's all about putting your own heart first, putting your own desires ahead of your desire to be with any one particular man, especially a man who's not valuing you. So you have to increase your value in your own eyes. Otherwise it's kind of, like we said, it comes across as inauthentic. If you're doing these first five things because you're trying to get some kind of result from a man, get him to come back or get him to see you a certain way, get him to value you more and treat you better. It's all about him and it can't be about him. It has to be all about yourself knowing your own value so that a man just naturally feels this urge and this desire to come towards you and keep you in his life. You'll be like the one woman he doesn't wanna lose out of his life. So that's the last one. Yeah, and I just wanna throw in there that it can be the most challenging one, right? And it's the one that the least amount of people wanna hear about. And I know this for a fact, because I've been in this industry for long enough, but it's really, it's about building your confidence, building your self-esteem, knowing that you value, but not from a place of faking it, right? Like you can try to fake being like, I deserve a man, but I don't really feel that way deep in my heart and it hurts me to think about. If you're coming from that space where you're really in pain, and you try to put off this persona of it, it can be really, really painful for both of you and it can be really a, a guy might, a guy might fall for it initially, but long term he's gonna see through it and he's gonna be like, oh, you're not really the person I thought you were, right? And that's not to say that you can't have challenges or insecurities or any of that kind of stuff, right? Like we all do. Everybody has insecurities. Everybody has their own things that they, like self-worth issues. We all have things that come up, and communicating them in the right way, being humble about them. And at the same time, working on yourself and working on your confidence and your self-esteem and getting through those issues, whatever kind of issues that you have. I've had tons of issues. When I was growing up, one of my big things was worth, right? Like feeling like I was worthy to be in a woman's life, feeling like I was worthy to have friends, feeling like I was worthy to be connected with people. And it's been a long journey and I still have those issues that come up with me. I still feel sometimes like I question how worthy I am as a human being, but I've worked on it a lot. And I've built up a lot of things in my life and I've gone through a lot of those emotions. I've opened up a lot of those emotions and let them out. And I've kind of looked at a lot of the root causes of that and worked on those root causes and doing that allows me to feel like a stronger, more valuable person just naturally when I talk to people, right? And so is there anything else you wanna do? Yeah, oh yeah, I can totally relate to all of that. Yeah, I just wanted to say it's the way you respond to the way he acts, right? So you are a high value woman and you don't have to do anything or say anything to make him feel it except respond as a woman who knows her value would respond. So responding is a very feminine energy quality. An example of the opposite of this would be like, you don't have to just like walk up to a guy and say like, you know, I'm the prize, you need to treat me amazing. Here's my list of requirements because that would obviously be a turn off to men, right? Versus if you know your value, if you know your worth as a person and a woman in a relationship or potential relationship, if a man starts behaving in a way that doesn't feel good to you, you would just instinctively feel turned off if a man wasn't treating you well. You just, you wouldn't wanna waste your time with a man who's interested in other women or constantly, you know, talking about other women or something like that, whatever it is he's doing, you'd instinctively feel turned off. So it's not so much of the time we think we need to like talk about these things with a man. Like, okay, how do I show this guy or tell him that I'm a high value woman when a lot of the times it's just this energy, this vibe we're giving off. That's why this last one, number six is so important. You have to know your own value. And when you do that, everything else kind of organically falls into place. So that's all I wanted to add. It's the way you respond to the way he acts. It's not like walking up to a guy and telling him that you're this high value woman, right? Would you agree with that? Absolutely, absolutely. And so, yeah, so that's, if you want to really kind of figure out a lot of these things and you want a full system for how to really connect with a man, connect with yourself, you know, attract a man into your life and be really, really valuable to him. The type of woman that a man wants to commit to, the type of woman that a man wants to invest in and chase and give himself to, if you want to create a relationship and have the relationship that you really want in your life, I suggest that you go and check out our Feminine Enchantment Program at feminineenchantment.com. There's a link below this video to check that out. And Helena Hart is on there and she answers everybody's questions every week about what their personal situation is and it's all private and anonymous. So you don't have to, you know, say, you know, who you are or whatever. It's all, nobody's gonna see it. Nobody's gonna know who you are. And it's at feminineenchantment.com. You can get all your questions answered and really learn all the tools to being the high value woman that a man wants to have in his life and commit to and feel like you're the one for him. So that's it. Thanks to everybody for being here. Thanks everybody for being in the chat and talking. You, the women here, you are really the greatest part of our community and thank you so much for subscribing. We hit the 10,000 subscriber number yesterday, actually, which is really awesome. So thank you so much for that. You're really awesome. I love it. I love helping. I love all the testimonials that you send us. I love the questions that you send us. I love everything that's going on with this channel and working with you. So thank you so much. Do you wanna say anything, Elena? Yeah, no, you just took the words right out of my mouth. Yeah, you guys are awesome. Like we have such a good feeling about like where things are going with this. And yeah, I would love to work with you in feminineenchantment if you have personal questions about your situation and people are experiencing some really great results with some of that. So if you're looking to get more information or get your personal questions answered every week, I would love to work with you there if you wanna check that out. Awesome. All right. Well, thank you everybody and we will speak with you again soon.