 I filled the ice tray with her discharge, so of course I'm gonna throw in the bin. I was never gonna use that to cool down my beverages. Welcome to episode number 30 of the Marty and Michael podcast. We've been here for four hours and we've been lost. Yeah, I was tired day. We've been surfing, we've been out surfing. You gotta tell them the results. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And sorry about last week's podcast. Apparently the sound- I'm proud of it. I'm proud of it. There are a lot of mistakes. We're probably gonna be... No, we'll pep up. A lot of mistakes last week. Don't fucking touch her plants. Plants like affection. That's a fact. That's the one you ripped last time. Yeah, and look how healthy it is. Yeah, wait, maybe you fixed it. Yeah, 100% I fixed it. It does look pretty good. You gotta rip off the broken parts to make them flourish. Just like a human. If a human has a broken finger, rip it off. What about if it's got brain damage? Rip it off. Last week I thought I was gonna die. It turns out I've only just got minor liver damage and pneumonia. So I'm in a hardcore course of antibiotics and the coughing has stopped my... You were coughing up blood all week. Coughing up blood. I thought I was gonna die and like I was, yeah, last week's podcast was really low-energy because I knew something horrible was wrong with my body. But it turns out it's just a lung infection. And the doctor said also he's like, oh, your liver function's a bit abnormal, so maybe don't drink as much. And here we are. Yeah, it's just good that you're not dying. Yeah, you can have a bad liver, that's fine. Most people have a bad liver. Most people don't. And you can just get a new one. Yeah, well, the liver is one of those organs that regenerates if you just don't touch it for a while. Bullshit. Yeah, 100%. The liver's one of the only organs that can fix itself. Oh, wow. So you're fine. Yeah, as long as you don't touch it for like two years, then it's fine. Yeah, once you pass the point, then it's downhill fast. Oh, you just get a replacement. No, you can't get liver transplant. It's illegal in California. Fuck. And we went there. We went there. Matt Brown from Halsom. He will be our guest later in the show. Matt Brown from Halsom. The people have asked for it and we are going to deliver Matthew Brown from Halsom. He is going to be on the show as a guest and he will be showing you his cock hole. He will be showing you his dick and balls, his ass, and a map of where he works. So if you're listening to it on Spotify, make sure you go to our YouTube, Marty and Michael Fully Actual so you can see it live. A detailed blueprint of his office in Milton. He will be showing us exactly where he sits and exactly who works underneath him. It will be incredible. He knows the architects. Halsom. All right, we've got some on this days. So the date is the 42nd of more in the 2019 area. And on this day, back in 1417, a king was told that he was a fuckwit by three men. Whoa. That was the first time that's ever happened. That when Jesus was born? No, no, no. Jesus was born before that. But a king was told for the first time in history that he's a fuckwit by three different men on the same day. So they've written that down as a part of history. And that happened on this day in 14, whatever I said, 602 years ago. On this day in 2019, September the 11th, people spoke about a horse that won a race. On this day, even it's not this, it's not September 11th. Yeah. On this day, on September 11th, so not this day, but on this day on a different day, people spoke about a horse that won a race. And that happened. There's a fast. There was two horses apparently. So great, great news that that happened. And also last, last on this day, on this day, 1500 years ago, there weren't any plants. So on this day, 1500 years ago, the first plant was conceived. And now there are plants everywhere. So you'd never, you'd never think that you'd never think of a back to a time where there were no plants. And now there's everywhere. So it's like 1500 years ago on this day, plants came about. How was your weekend? Yeah, it wasn't too bad. I got I got my clean bill of health. So I've been smiling, but yeah, I have to be careful of my liver function. So it's best not to drink that much. I just dodged you hard. You fucking I was distracting you because I needed a piss. Oh, my God. I thought your line of questioning was weak. Yeah, I didn't know. I wasn't listening. I was just concentrating on pissing in the bottle. Yeah, that is so clear. You had far too much alcohol. That is far too clear. Five beers. The time is currently quarter to five and his piss is that clear. Yeah, that's shit talk, I guess. Happy birthday to Ronald Reagan. He turns 15 today and he is a person. And Gulf Whitlam, Gulf, Gulf Whitlam and Ronald Reagan. They watch the show religiously. They're both 15 and they're both from Toowoomba. So boys, thank you for watching. And last but not least, of course, on the famous birthdays on this day, corn, corn was turns 15. Corn turns 15 as well. Wow, corn's been here for 15 years. Shocking that I hate corn because it gets in your teeth. I remember eating it as a kid, but I can't. My memory, that's that's not real. It's the Mandela effect. It's the Mandela effect. I have read that in two articles that I wrote. Yeah, we've started doing pranks again. You may have noticed. So you're probably really happy about that, like we are. Yeah, thanks. No, I'm not shaking your hand. Yeah, so we're pretty happy about that. And it's time in three nights. We're going camping with Shami that will already have happened by the time you're going to get. I'm going to get pissed as shit. All right, Michael's going to get aggressively drunk, which means he'll probably pass out. And it's a tent so you can piss it because it's just a tent. Yeah. No one cares about tents. Not sure who's organising the tents. But yeah, that's I guess we'll worry about that later. Moving on, we're on to our next segment, which of course is fan questions. And the segment has been renamed this week to. Exactly. Whoa, fans have sent in questions via Instagram. And here we go. Let's let's do our best to answer them. Is this clapping a new fucking thing that we don't know yet? It reminds me of cows shitting when a few people clap. That's why I like the cow questions. This one's from Kate L Y and a Kate Lena, I guess, 17. And she's asked, what is your favourite colour to paint your nails? Black, black, because it's a less feminine colour. But it's also your nails are painted. So it's like, you know, it's it's like a compromise of feminine and masculinity. Ellen Laurenson, what's it like to be famous? P.S. You're the best. Great question with love, hard eyes. Great question. Look, it's being famous is everything you expect it to be. It's awesome. It's the best. You feel awesome all the time. Everyone knows who you are and you just like, oh, you feel really good. You walk with your head held high and everything's just the best and you feel amazing and you just nothing can beat you. You're the best. And also, when when you said, P.S. You're the best. Yes, that's true. I'll put an honest take on it. Sometimes it's annoying. No. It's OK. I get uncomfortable sometimes when I walk into a shop. Oh, yeah, yeah, you can't do drugs in public when you're famous because people just fucking film you. So it has to be private. But I hate it when you walk into a shop and you're waiting to get food or something and you hear people snickering. Oh, that's that. But they don't say anything to you. I come up and get a photo. Yeah, like we're like waiting for you to come and get a photo so that we can show our friends and stuff that we're really famous. So just come and get a photo and just talk about us behind our backs. Yeah, it's uncomfortable. It's rude. I'd rather I'd rather get like get, you know, some raised eyebrows from friends that are like, oh, wow, you're actually like really famous rather than just me noticing you staring at me. And we're sprinting, pointing in shit. Yeah, it's rude. It's rude. But yeah, it's awesome. All right, next one's from Benjamin F F F F R I T Z. And he's asked, oh, man, who would win out of a boxing match between you two? Matthew Brown from Halson. Dude, you would kick my ass. You know, it's not really fair, is it? There's about a 10 kilo weight difference. And yeah, you did boxing for a bit. All right, next question is from Rod Regas. Rod Rego mass. Where's the default face? All right, so for those of you watching on YouTube, we will show the default face for five seconds. For those of you watching on Spotify, head to our YouTube to see the default face. It's hard to explain. Picture a face that has had a crowbar forcefully shoved into the middle of the face and the bone structure is caved in heading in towards the brain. All right, for those of you watching on YouTube, on standby, five, four, three, two, one. The default face feels right, which is, of course, his face when he's not the face he's got on right now is a pull on for the show because of fame. It's not his real face. The default face is called the default face because that's how he's born. That's how he wakes up in the morning as his face when he's asleep as his face when he's relaxed. That's his face. Yeah, it was, you know how like I think Down syndrome people have like an extra chromosome or something? I had two extra chromosomes. Yeah. And that's the D. It's called the default. And they were both in the face. Both of his extra chromosomes are both in the face. But I've learned to just, yeah, like it's hard. I strain my face every like right now it hurts to keep this. Yeah. And when he relaxes, it slowly morphs into the default face. Yeah. Yeah. And like if I'm getting drunk as fuck, then it, yeah, I go back to relaxation and then it just comes out. But yeah, that's why that night when it came out in LA is we got so fucked up the whole night. That was me. Yeah. He just, he just thought, fuck it. I'm just going to be myself tonight. And that's who, and that's who we saw default, default, Michael. All right. Next question is from J underscore Dan 34. And he's asked, fuck, marry, kill. This is for you. I gather, Martin. Cow, Michael, Lachlan. Look, I'd probably do all three to the cow. I'd fuck the cow. I'd marry the cow. And then I'd kill the cow. I wouldn't even look twice at Michael or Lachlan if there's a cow in the same room. It's not a fair question. I would rather kill myself than do anything but divert my attention away from the cow. OK, so if you want me, if you're expecting me to delegate one of those three to each of the three people you mentioned, no, it's not going to happen. I will do all three to the cow or kill myself. Oh, man. What about, could you change it? Like, why not marry it? So it's like, it's beautiful. Then you get to fuck it after the wedding. So you've got something to look forward to. Because you have someone to be able to look at. No, fuck it first. I wouldn't be able to kill. If I didn't fuck it first, I'd kill it first. See the fuck. Marry, kill or kill. Fuck, marry, kill, marry, fuck. Yeah. Oh, man. Did you shit? Not yet. Wow. Oh, that cheered me up and cheered me up. This one's from Gassman 3434. He's asked podcast question. What's the theme song of your life? Mine is what's my age again? Blink 182. All right. My song would have to be my milkshake. Brings all the boys to the yard from that chick called Kellis. Kellis. Am I saying that correctly? Kellis. I can see you liking that. And I can see you going down to town on cows. And the reason that that is my song is because it is very relatable. My milkshake does bring a lot of boys to my yard. It happens quite a lot. So that's why. Mine would be JoJo Get Out. Leave right now. Leave right now. I've heard you say that to me many times. There's been so many times. Every time we've put that song on when we're driving with Jackson, because he drives illegally like he goes through red lights, he speeds and he never gets caught. He never gets caught. But when we put that song on, which we do and he's refused after three times because the three times we put leave out by JoJo, he's got pulled over and gotten fines for either going through red lights or speeding. So JoJo brings the popo. But that's my theme song because it's so good. I love it. Oli Soybean 06. You'll like this one. How are you so beautiful? Well, it's a genetic thing. And also we spend hours grooming ourselves every day. Like I spend at least three to four hours plucking my back hair with tweezers. And I also enjoy punching. I just punch it to keep my upper body as toned as you see it. And the clothes that I choose, I get a stylist to fucking choose it expensive, but it's good. Oh, yeah, I strain my face to death every day. Well, default face like it's so hard right now to act cool every fucking moment. It's hard. And then when I go to bed, I'm relaxed. That's what sleep heaps. Yeah, it's because he can finally move back to default face. Yeah. Get those two Kramer's own. They're lodged up in his forehead. Those two chromosomes. Last question. James underscore cocker cocker ill 99. How long did it take for you two to realize you have sexual for you, I guess, Marty, to have sexual feelings for Bosley and does Bos get jealous towards cows? Look, you've you said it hasn't come out yet. It comes out today. You said it last week. You haven't acted on him at all. Yeah, no, Bosley is Bosley's my child. They're they're despite physical attractions. I would never do anything to him. However, you have sucked him off. Oh, but no, Bosley is not jealous of cows because he sees me as his father figure, the one who feeds him. He expects me to once I knock the cow unconscious to strip its flesh and to feed it to him. So he's not jealous. He's excited and he can't wait for me to dig my fingers into the cow's skin underneath the first layer of muscle and pull back using my all my fucking squat on it and push my fingers through the first layer of muscle and then stand up hard with my like a deadlift picture a deadlift and I pull back at the same time and just pull that first layer of muscle off the cow and toss it to Bosley. That's why he's excited for no other reason. There's nothing sexual about it with Bosley. He's my dog. You sick fuck. God, that's disgusting. What a what a twisted twisted puppy. Shit. Oh, I tried so hard. Oh, that is the end of our questionnaire, which of course leads us to a next segment called the next segment. Well, I don't know what it is, but it's let me read the title first. It's just written here on the laptop. It is called. That hurt my ears again. Thank you. And this is a segment where we get a special guest on the show. So yeah, it's a new one. And for this week, let me introduce our guest. He is known for supplying large, if not overly huge amounts of concrete to businesses to Indians. Sometimes sometimes Indians need concrete. He'll supply it to him. If you're if you need concrete, he's the guy you talk to. He also produces one of the well, the best podcast in the world in the world. And he's also known for being able to skull a bottle of piss. No, that's me. Oh, yeah, right. So without further ado, let us introduce for the first for every time behind camera for the first time on camera, Mr. Matthew Brown from whole fucking sim. All right. So this is what he looks like. This is what Matthew Brown from wholesome looks like. So once you if you visit their website, you'll be able to see what his face looks like now if you need any concrete needs. There he is. All right. You see him on the street and you see a pothole approach him. It's probably been filled by another company approach. All his furniture is concrete. He has cups. Your coffee cup is concrete. His couch is made of hard linen. My forks are made out of concrete. There's nothing soft in his house. That's how. That's how whole for me is. Oh, yeah. All right. So the people have been wanting you on the podcast, Matthew Matthew Brown for some time. Actually, thank you, Gregory Brown. So why don't we start by just telling everyone where do you work? I work at a wholesome concrete. Wholesome concreting and and so all right, well, let's just. So so what do they think? What do they think about this? Do they know yet? Some do. Yeah, definitely. There's there's fans within the business of you guys. So I get a lot of questions about certain videos and what happened afterwards and stuff. What happened behind the scenes? And has there been any any business driven to wholesome from this? Absolutely zero. So the listeners aren't concreters yet. But I'm sure as we expand wholesome will be number one. Number one. What already is number one in concreting. So Matthew Brown, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? Why don't you tell us your age, your favorite color, your favorite food and how you met us? Oh, I'm 15. My favorite color is red. And yeah. Yeah, I know. I really got to change my favorite color. Where did I meet you guys? It was about what's your favorite food? What's my favorite food? Mexican for sure. I love Mexican boys. Small little Mexican. Love Mexican boys. Oh, what did I meet you guys? So probably about 11 years ago. And I met you separately. I didn't meet you together. I met Marty first, of course. And Marty was a little German boy. And he he was down at West End one night and mutual friend of ours, Mr. Lee. He he brought me down to meet Marty at the old music room. Do you remember the music room? Of course I remember the music room. Music cafe. It was a music cafe. I thought it was a music room. Same shit. Yeah, I used to work there. Really? Yeah, he was one. And without warning, Marty walked up to me and he just said, hey, I'm Marty. Watch this. And he walked into a 7-Eleven and just started uncontrollably busting chip packets. Yep. Laughing. Marty always breaks you. When you go to Woolworths, you just get packets of shit. Smash them. It used to be a lot worse because there didn't used to be so many starving kids. But now there's way more of them. So I don't do it as much. Yeah, you stopped. Yeah, he has. And the gentleman behind the counter was like, could you please stop that? And he completely ignored him. And he stared at me as he continued busting chip packets. And as he left the store, he squished a big packet of bread. Yeah, I remember that. And that's it. We were friends from then. Yeah. Wow. You're a good guy. That's what it takes to become part of the wholesome family. You feel wholesome with wholesome. So Michael had just come back, I think, from Europe, maybe, or some sort of overseas trip. I'm not sure which one. And we both knew that we were going to meet and was really talked up. We're really excited to meet each other. And anyway, you showed up and you, the first thing you said to me was, hey, Matt, I'm Michael. I went, hey, how's it going? And you went, I've got a haemorrhoid. Oh, dude. He had a lot of haemorrhoids. He was excessive drinking. That's what happens. And without warning, turned around and dropped his pants and spread his arse cheeks and showed me his haemorrhoid. It was a true highlight of whenever he did that. Because on trips away, when we're traveling, it would grow. And it got to like a 50 cent piece, like a ping pong ball, just next to it. It was big at the time, yeah. Oh, I love it. Look at that big. Yeah, man. It was started as a- You were pushing it with your finger. As a pea ball. It was started as a pea-sized ball and the haemorrhoid would grow as we went on bender after bender after bender. And it was just more entertaining every single evening. He looked like the elephant, man. Yeah. But, and then straight after you had spread your arse cheeks, you then came over and shook my hand. It was lovely though. And we were the best of friends straight away. We got along really well. I've got some good feelings for Matthew Gregory Brown. And the relationship with you two led to the first kiss of another man. It was quite a- So you have kissed the both of us? Not that day, but it came. Yeah, we did. We did kiss. I've kissed you here. Oh, yeah, yeah. We've all kissed here. Let's not be bashful here. We have all kissed many, many times. What do you hope to achieve with this podcast, Matthew Brown? I don't know. In all honesty, I just wanted to hang out with my friends and be creative and create something. I think there was, you guys were doing prank videos all the time and I really thought there's so many more platforms you guys could do because you guys are so naturally creative and naturally funny. I'll agree with that. And I pulled Marty a side one. And I was sort of experimenting with looking into podcasts and experimenting with it. And I said to Marty one night over a few wines, I said, would you be interested in doing a podcast? And I'll come in and produce and do what I can. And then this was born. So these mics, they're yours? Yeah. This thing here is called a- Powerplay. It's called a, it's a power place. This is just for our headphones. It's a headphone jack. And of course everything else here is also Matthew Brown's and he also pays the rent here. I pay Michael's rent. So yeah, he does. We earn nothing from the, every fucking podcast we do that we put on YouTube gets demonetized for some reason. Spotify and Soundclad don't monetize podcasts. So just so you know, 30 episodes deep, we don't earn a cent from podcasts yet. We have a good time though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have a good time. But just so you know, those watching, it's for free. Everything is for free. Okay, so just- For the fans. So just take that on board and think, ah, I might show this to my uncle now. Or mom. Yeah, but maybe just show it to your uncle's- Children. And try and grow, we're trying to just grow our uncle demographic. Because we know them very well. And they know us. Can I ask you guys some questions? They know us, they know us. Matthew Brown. Yes. What made you wanna go into the social media world? Like really, you've said so many different answers to this, I really wanna know the truth. What psychological reason is there? Well- There's a few. Well, but I think the overriding and fundamental reason is that we have a gift. A gift that not many other humans have. And that gift is that we're the best. Dude, I'm gonna throw it out there. I was driving down the other weekend to the Gold Coast. And I was like, as I've been listening to podcasts now because I got AirPods. And I was like, fuck it. Normally I've been listening to Joe Rogan or Alan Watts and some fucking, just trying to keep my mental health in check because I'm this close to killing myself. But this one came up and I was like, fuck it. I'll listen to my own podcast. And I listened to like, go back to the podcast number 17. I listened to it and I was in tears. What one was 17? Yeah, it was just, it was the most fuck story ever that we've ever said. And it was a great prank call. I was the whole way through pissing myself laughing at hearing Marty and my own voice going, and it backs that up. We truly are the best. Like we might, maybe last week we weren't. And this week, I don't know, like we're not. I'm a bit, yeah. It's a bit dizzy. Yeah, a bit dizzy. I was a bit hot. A bit hot and bothered. It's summer spring now. It's been infected. The aircon's on, but dude. Yeah, we just, the gift of what Marty was saying. At the end of the day, it becomes a responsibility. So no matter how dark and sad and gloomy we may feel, we know that in order to contribute to society, we need to give our gift. And it will make people happy. And that is why we do what we do. We like to make people laugh. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. To Marty and Michael. Here, here. Here, here. To Marty and Michael and our producer. Matthew Brown. Awesome. So since you've started doing this, other people have wanted you to produce podcasts as well. Yeah, I've had a few. So when I started, I had a friend of mine, Aaron Shanks. He was interested in podcasts as well. And we sort of started looking at it together and he's headed down the rabbit hole of the podcast with the diaries of the Wild Ones and is having some good success. And his stories on that was incredible. And I've gone on and done a bit of producing and coming on as a guest on his and just really enjoyable stuff. So you just have a love for podcasts. And what would you say is your favorite podcast? The Marty and Michael. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just testing. Just testing. What would you say is your second favorite podcast? What do you listen to? Of course, I listen to Joe Rogan as every single other person does. But I also listen to Joe's, I'm gonna fuck his last name up, but I've got Joe Santagard, Santagardos. Oh yeah, he's a funny YouTuber guy. Yeah, I enjoy him because he sits down, he just talks shit and it's just a real life stuff he talks about and it's hilarious. So I don't mind, I'm listening to him. And the fighter and the kid, Brian Callan and Brandon Schwab. Oh yeah. Matt Brown's a qualified photographer. If anyone needs some work or weddings, he can do it. And what's your Instagram, Matt Brown? My Instagram is Matt Brown and four ones. So if you- Gonna remember the four ones. If you have any questions or would like to send and like to send your naked physical body to Matthew Brown, if you just for some just like unbiased judgment, if you just want some feedback on what your physical body looks like, send it to Matthew Brown. And if you do, we'll give you a shout out next podcast, just send it to him and he'll give you some really real feedback. And that's not a joke. Whenever I- Read the replies. I did try to write back in the last episode where Marty says to message me. I did try to write back to everyone. I'm sorry if I didn't, but there was some pretty fire, everyone was really funny. So thank you for writing to me. And Darcy Fletcher. Darcy Fletcher sent me a message. He was a legend. So I thought I'd shout him out as well. On your Darsos. So yeah, if you, so, you know, Michael and I, if we're feeling self-conscious or we're not sure about something that we're wearing, we sent it to Matthew Brown. He's Instagram and he'll give us some really honest feedback. So if you just need something looked at, if you've got like a mole in a weird place, if your assholes bleeding- Good Android. Yeah, we can black sell it. What, just whatever the problem, just send it to Matt, okay? As, you know, he's a producer. He's a podcast producer. He works as a wholesome, but he's also, he has an eye for fashion and he just, just trust me. It's hard to explain. Just send him photos of your physical body. Please. Please. I'm asking you guys, please. Oh no. Oh no. Oh man, I'm like, I was gonna be horrible. Somebody, one guy sent me a screenshot of my LinkedIn profile the other day. Yeah, that's good. That's a good start. But like just send him photos of your legs or like just, you know, whatever. You got a weird spot on you or your- Send me feet. Or you know, you've progressed shots at the gym, whatever. Just, you know, you got a weird lump on your balls. Just send it to Matt Brown, 1111 Instagram. And no fuss, no mass, he'll reply and give you honest feedback. And that is why we love him. Because he's not only really good at what he does, he's always honest in what he does and we love Matthew Brown from Halson. What's some fucked up shit you've seen us do? I don't think I can say it. Yes, yes. Oh man, I could go down the rabbit hole of stories, but you've already said some of the best ones I can think of in your stories. I could tell you about the story about the first time I tried cocaine. That was quite of an interesting tale. There you go, are you allowed to? Yeah, sure. So I was in the beautiful country of Bolivia, which I know you've been to as well. I've been to Colombia, not Bolivia. Do you not go to Bolivia? You did tell me, I know this story. It's a good story. And I was with the Doras of the Wild Ones hosts, Aaron Shanks, and we were travelling around the country and we were in La Paz. And we had heard rumour of a club that sold cocaine across the bar and it sparked our interest, don't know why. And basically to find this club, we had to go and ask taxi drivers where the location was. And a lot of taxi drivers were very, very hesitant and were like, no, no, we don't know where that is and never heard of it. And then one guy was like, yeah, sure, I'll take you there. Not a problem. And so they drove us there and we got to this weird dark road and there was just this giant sort of medieval-style door with one of those little peep holes in it where they open it up and they look at you. They said, you know, come on in and we went inside and it was just a room with a couch and a TV and a man sitting there with a giant rifle on the couch. And we thought we were fucked at that point. But lucky for us, we won't and we were taken down a hallway, I remember, and then down some stairs maybe. And then suddenly the wall opened up. And there was a- Yeah, Harry's very Harry Potter. Whoa, do you know him? Yeah, he was there. Wow, he's a co-kater apparently. Simone, a girl or a guy? Wrong, she's never there though. But yeah, we went through this opening in the wall into a nightclub and there was playing music and you could buy beers and there was nice couches and glass tables and flags of the world all over the place. And you can also order cocaine across the bar. So what did you say to the bartender? Did you say- We were so nervous because it was the first time we'd ever done Coke. And so we just said, what can we get and how much? And they just gave us the prices on like a little list. Oh, it's a lot of lists. How much for a line? I cannot remember. I would say about for a gram of Coke, maybe $30. Sorry, it's quite cheap. And then they chopped up straws for however many of us were. They gave us a little black bag with some cocaine in it and gave us a CD case to put our cocaine on. CDs are these things that played music for anyone who's extremely young. And yeah, we tried our first cocaine and we were only meant to go there, have a little bit and then, you know, go home. And I remember getting there at like nine o'clock and then suddenly it was like two in the morning. Six months later. Yeah, it was a good time. And I met, we happened to meet another guy and they're from Brisbane. Just happened to be there. What was his name? I cannot remember. Shit, it'd be so good. Let's call him Sean. Seany. And me and Seany were having a chat and suddenly I had this, like it was late and we're about to, we're getting close to leaving. And I was under the influence. And basically I had this real big pain in my gut and I didn't know what it was. And I was like, oh, I've got to go to the toilet. And what followed was this... A Coke shit. Yeah, this, what's known as the cocaine poo. Oh, I do. And I'm sure many has felt it before but we went to the toilet. And of course it was this shitty third world toilet and it was very disgusting and it was one of those moments where I was like, do I sit on it? Do I not? Do I put paper down? And I just went, fuck it, I'm going to squat over it and just get it out. And yeah, I think I'm pretty sure I took my pants off. I can't remember, to be honest. And yeah, I squatted over the bowl and it all came out and it was quite thick. Slop? No, it was thick. It was a thick slop, yeah. Whoa. And yeah, that was it. So basically only do cocaine if you're in Bolivia and be very wise with your choices. Don't ever be not wise. All our listeners are obviously, you know, incredibly intelligent, educated peoples. But so we don't need to remind you but just for those, if you know, by chance someone uneducated is listening, be wise. Don't not be wise and always be smart. Don't not be smart. Be wise and smart. That's like our motto. Don't not be wise and not not not be smart or some shit. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's so good. Well, I'm going back to behind the camera so you guys can finish this podcast. I'm going to. All right, thank you, Matthew Brown from Holsom and Narnia's to be possible without you. You're a true god of podcasts and we love you very much. I'm gonna finger you. Oh no, I am, I'm already. No, no, no, yeah, yeah. Have a feel of these little cock there. No, it's thick. Holsom, concrete. Holsom, country. Concrete the arse. Holsom, country. Get up. Holsom, country. Yeah, okay. So the name of our next segment is called the Bayhintefu Fuyonpay Climpadthum Halimeantilan, which of course means prank a call in Latin and this week we're going to pretend to be really, really drunk while ordering pizza. So I'm going to be over the top intoxicated, be super drunk and then see how long Domino's puts up with my shit. Matthew Brown from Holsom always stands up during prank calls. Yeah, he finds it so cringy. All right, who are we calling Domino's? I'm actually trying to order a pizza. Yeah, I'm quite hungry. Really? No, I'm good. I'll go alcohol. Sick. And pears. Can I just place a pick up order, please? Yeah, just pick up order, please, for three people. Just pick up order, please, for three people. Can I just get a barbecue meatlovers? Faggot. Can I just get a garlic? Do you guys got a garlic bread on the side of it or so I can put it up? Pizza? What's that? Can I just get a barbecue meatlovers? Yes. And you guys got the barbecue bread on the fucking side of it? You got the garlic bread, yeah? The garlic bread, yeah? Yeah, I'll get a cutlery there, man. A cutlery, a garlic bread. And then what's the name of that? What's the colour of the pineapple on the tops of it? Hawaiian? It's... Sven. Sorry? I'll just get a Hawaiian cutlery on the top of it in a Sikula-Iman. I'll just get a... What's that already? What's that? Hawaiian meatlovers? Hawaiian meatlovers, and two garlic bread, and also one. Do you... Can's a... Fanta? these these do cans of phanta you got a smack you what what did you say do you have cans of phanta shit fucking cans of phanta what's what's you got what's you got yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah two cans of sun kiss yeah yeah yeah guess what's that fucking no the fucking bacon on it no fucking no the fucking is saying the fucking shit hey what's that chicken one with a fucking bacon on it you wake up what did you just say yes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and yeah yeah and do you have just one one can phanta this one can drink the phanta drink you know the fucking orange shit the orange orange the phanta you got a candle okay so we've got barbecue meat lovers right we've got these pineapple and cheese some pineapple cheese one yeah fucking wine and then we got the fucking two cans of phanta two cans of phanta and then we got the fucking barbecue chicken and fucking bacon and then we got that can of fucking on the four skin you got the four skin base the four skin base there's a can of phanta's can of the did you get that hello hello fucking now man fucking now man what you call what yeah we we fucking save the day like world hunger for today everyone had food i reckon from that yeah we're definitely making a difference in the world oh my god that was good so if you'd like to uh don't visit our patreon at uh mighty and michael and don't no just buy products from our website exactly right mighty michael dot com but don't buy them from there because i buy them okay