 G'day mate, 40 here. So I used to be a terrific saver. So up until age 22, I was really good at saving my money yet. I think age 21 I had about $40,000 saved. And then I got I got sick and after I partially recovered my health, I said I need to start living for today because who knows how long this recovery of my health will last. I need to grab everything I can right now. And I lost the habit of savings instead. Started getting into debt for the first time in my life. I started spending more money than I was bringing in. Completely new problem for me. And I thought of it. Oh, you know, I'm investing in my future. And eventually ran my credit cards up to the max in 1995-1996 writing my first book. And I think I maxed out at about $20,000 in credit card debt then and took me about three years until about year 2000 to pay it all off. And then in late 2007 I started running up credit card debt again, maxed it out at about $50,000 and did not pay it all off until 2018. So it was just interesting to me because I used to always be such a good saver. And then something switched in me and I just became a debtor. But whether I was a saver or a debtor, I still had, it didn't feel worthy of prosperity and having money in the bank and having good things in life. So I was still looking for ways to give my money away. And it wasn't until really debt is anonymous that going into that program that I learned to track everything that I spent, everything that I earned to develop a spending plan and to feel at ease with prosperity and with saving money. So prior to that, I'd always just want to spend any extra money that I had on courses, on helping people, on charity, on travel or whatever. I just felt like if I had extra money, I should spend it. And I had this haunting feeling that if I ever got money that I would dissipate it. And I didn't come to terms with money. I didn't start to feel easy with money until debt is anonymous. And the primary tools were one, being part of a program. So making friends, having a community, people that you can talk to have similar problems. Then the tool of tracking every penny you earn and every penny you spend and then developing a spending plan and a saving plan. So that enabled me to start to feel comfortable with prosperity. So I no longer am haunted that any extra money that I have, I'm just going to spend it. So I still feel the inclination at times like, oh, I need to sign up for these online courses. I want to take an infinite number of voice lessons and learn different approaches to voice production and doing different voices and doing different accents or polish my skills or say a radio host to help with these live streams. And so I still feel that inclination to spend every bit of extra money I've got on taking courses, taking lessons. So the inclination is still there, but it's not as strong as it was and I recognize it and I don't have to fight to keep it in check. So used to be I'd want to dissipate my resources over hill over dale, spill my resources out on the dusty soil. And now I'm not going to let them impurify my vital bodily fluids or my vital financial resources. I finally feel at ease with the good things that I've got building towards the future, saving money, and I don't have to spend every spare dollar that I've got on taking new courses, new lessons. So tracking, I just find so helpful for a sense of ease, tracking my time, tracking my spending, tracking my earning, like it's getting a mirror to reality, just like journaling. So when I journal on a near daily basis, I'm getting a mirror to my mind. And the more I journal, then the more things start to open up for me. So one of the best ways I get ideas for live streams is I just sit down and I just start writing everything that comes to mind. I write about what I'm grateful for that always makes me happy. I write about what I'm done right that day that always makes me feel good, because my tendency is just to beat myself down and treat myself like my crap. But if I notice what I'm grateful for, what I'm doing right, and then just keep writing, just keep the pen moving and then it starts going in unexpected directions. So ideally, I want to journal four pages a day. So there's a terrific book called The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. I think it was inspired by her 12 step experience, but it opens up new ideas and it's a great spur to writing and to creativity in general, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. And Real Artists Have Day Jobs. That's the name of another book, which I have not read, but I just love the title Real Artists Have Day Jobs, because so many people, it's so important to them to be famous, right? I feel that like I really want to be famous. I want to be great. And I know when I get into that mode, it's not a 24 seven thing. It's just an occasional thing that comes over me. I know when I get into that mode that I have to be great, have to be famous, that there's a part of me that feels sad and unloved, that there's a part of me that feels inadequate. And so I'm trying to compensate for that part of me that feels broken by seeking out admiration from other people. So seeking out admiration and respect and adulation from others, it's not usually a permanent condition. It's usually a periodic state that we get into as a periodic state that comes from when we don't feel good about ourselves. And so it's a lot easier to fill and to fill that hole in yourself than to get, you know, 10,000 people to pay attention to you. And also, if you can learn practices that enable you to feel whole, that's something you can do for yourself and adoration from other people that comes and that goes. And the adoration turns to hatred often. It's a highly unstable way to build your sense of self. So I know when I occasionally get into that feeling needy, Oh, I want people to pay attention to me. I want people to love me. I want people to adore me. I want people to respect me. I want to be a thought leader. I want to be famous. I want to be powerful. I want to be influential. I know when I get into those momentary states, it's because there's a feeling of lack in me. That's usually a lack of human connection. That when I feel strongly connected to other people, my central nervous system comes down and I no longer desperately need external sources of validation. Other people to prompt me up and tell me that I'm great and that I'm awesome. And I can just calm down. And when I calm down, I don't need that external validation. I can internally validate myself. I can respect the good things that I'm doing. I can feel grateful for the opportunities and the wonderful things in my life. And when I'm in an attitude of gratitude, then my central nervous system comes down and I don't have to be that bizarre attention-seeking show monkey that has characterized so much of my life.