 Okay, all right. Okay. Great. So good morning once again for all of you who joined in for class today. We will be having three lectures as of today for those who who also joined us for the e-learning. Welcome and glad to know that you are learning at your pace. I'm quite encouraged to see some of you following through weekly through these classes and attempting the questions and the checks that are there. So do keep learning and enjoy the course. And for us who are online right here with us, welcome. We have three classes today, going one to another. And we are going to be looking at a fresh new section in the course on marriage and family. And I am just for you to follow through. I am on page 125, 125. And we're going to be looking at challenges in marriage in this fresh section that we are starting on with. We're going to be looking at challenges in marriage today. We will focus partly on what are some of the common challenges that marriages face. The second thing we're going to be looking at is biblical instructions that we can look into to face these challenges. And third, biblical instructions for specific common challenges that happens in marriage. Okay. So that's how we're going to be focused. What are we going to be focusing on? And next week, we're going to be looking at briefly on how we can press forward by releasing the past or keeping away what has been of the past. So today, we're just looking at overcoming the challenges that one would have in marriage. So just to begin with, I think I'd like to open the class today to hear from you from maybe your own experience or from the experience of other members, maybe in your family, or in a church that you are, or among friends that you have, what are some of the common challenges that people face within marriages? What have you noticed as things that could come over people and their families may be quite unexpected, unplanned, but yet have been hardships that would have come in. So would you like to, this is just a quick time of sharing so that we could all connect and be involved as well. Yes, Samuel, please go ahead. Thank you, Pastor. Most of it, I think it's from my own personal journey. So my wife and I, we were in Bangalore just the two of us, even though my wife is from here, from Sikkim itself. We were in Bangalore for a long time, almost seven, eight years. Just the two of us, we didn't plan to have kids and it was almost like a bachelor kind of life. Even though we were married, we could skip making dinner at home, order pizzas, we would go out whenever, so all of that. And then we came back home and we had to live in, we had to start living with our parents and that was a huge change. That was a huge change and then now that we were parents and then the parents started making law decisions, not just parents and there were elders in the family like elder sister, elder brothers. So we would have to kind of go according to what the family decides and then we decided to have our first child. So there were like a lot of big, like we had career changes, family setup changes and then a new member in the family. It was a huge toll for me personally. All of those changes almost caused a rift in my marriage. So we had to be very rough for two years, at least the first two years my first child was born and all of that. And thankfully with God's grace, somehow we were, things slowly ironed down. I mean, we learned a lot of lessons through hard times, the wrong way, a lot of lessons through wrong way. But God's faithful and he did not let our family break and God gave me wisdom to kind of take back. I as the head of my family, I kind of had lost complete control as the head of the family over my wife and over my first born. But eventually I somehow came to my senses and I could take back control. I could repent and God forgave me and established me as a head of the family and then slowly gradually we could make changes. And we are in a very good place now. So it's been about seven years I've been back home once again. And the first two years we are rough but the last five years have to be more or less. We're still settling, some of the wounds are still healing, but every day is better than we think. It is not a freshman to a new child. So in summary, I think big changes, external family members, having a new kid, career changes, geographical location, all of those. And we're still, if all of them happen at the same time, that's a big term. Thank you, Samil. Thank you so much for sharing that. Yeah, I'm sure a lot of us may resound to what he said. You know, we do, there are a lot of things that common things which Samuel said has probably we've all gone through as well. Yes, Charles, you raised your hand as well. Charles, Charles. Okay, Kennedy, I think you've also raised your hand. All right, thank you so much, Pastor. This is not from a personal room. Can you hear me? You're not, you're breaking up, your voice is breaking up. It's not constant. So you can hear a few words. No, I can't hear you at all. Okay, Charles, we're not able to hear you. Kennedy, would you like to take over? Maybe wait for Charles. Yes, Kennedy, go ahead. Like mine, I think I've posted something like the Divine Challenges. Okay. What kind of Divine Challenges, Kennedy, if you could elaborate, that would be great. It takes long, it seems it takes long for me to be at that side even yesterday. Sorry, Charles, we're not able to hear you. It would be great if you could put down the message on the chat, because we can hear just parts and pieces of what you're saying. Would you kindly put it on a chat, please? Can I proceed? Yes, Kennedy, go ahead, go ahead. I would say like in the event of things like death. Death? Is that what you said, death? Death, yes. When a family member dies, the bad winner tends to weaken the family. That is inevitable, but it's something that can be defined as challenging. Absolutely. Thank you, thanks, Kennedy, I agree. In fact, just last week, I had a friend, an acquaintance of ours who was just 33 years old. She passed away after her delivery. She delivered her baby and within 24 hours, she passed away. That was a root shock, very devastating for everyone. A young lady, 33-year-old, just walked into the hospital to deliver, but was passed away within that. Those can be very significant challenges. Does anybody else, I think someone else also raised their hand? Or anyone else who'd like to add in any other kind of challenges that may not have been discussed here as of yet? I'm sure we've all gone through something or the other and each of us can encourage each other or we can connect to each other financially. Yes, issues with finance can be significant challenges. Absolutely. Yes, thank you, Sam. Anybody else? When the family starts expanding, when it starts having babies, it starts having children and if it's not well managed, it can be oriented to the family. Start from planning, start from planning. Then it can be done studying the other, but spent. Kennedy mentioned when the family grows, when the family expands and it isn't managed very well. Wonderful. I think what we understand is that challenges don't escape anyone. As a believer, as an unbeliever, all of us being here on the face of the earth do expedience challenges. In fact, scripture tells us, Jesus tells us in John 16 23 that in this world you will have trials and you will have tribulations. It's not something that we can escape. It's something that is there that will be a common part of us. So he's the Lord himself told us and warned us that we will face challenges. But if you look in that first verse, the very first verse that's written on in that page in 125, I'm on page 125, it says, but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world. And, you know, it says I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you. So in despite the challenges we are going through, the hope that each of us have, especially those of us who are in the Lord is that he has overcome it for us. He has stripped off it of its power challenges of its power. It's not that it's not there. But it's stripped off its power and we become conquerors in the way that we respond to those challenges. I think there have been additional responses of children. Children coming in can be a challenge, a family member having a chronic illness, absolutely, that itself can cause a challenge. So what scripture again shows us that there is nothing that comes our way that is not something that is uncommon to man. So in 1 Corinthians 10.13, the message version says, no test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. So the word temptation here is more to mean putting to test something, putting to test maybe an experience or going through something that can be testing. Okay, rather than the common usage of the term temptation where we keep away from doing the will of God or evil. This is a proof of a test that is what the connotation here is. And it says that what we need to focus and remember is that God is with us and he will never let anything happen to us that we will not be able to handle. But he gives us the grace, fills us with the grace to help us come through it. So when we look at challenges, the important, I think the position that we have to place ourselves in is how are we going to respond? How are we going to react to challenges? So, you know, each of us have had different challenges and each may be unique in its presentation in the way that it comes to us. Some may be more stronger than the other, maybe more intense, some may be milder, some may be long lasting, some may be shorter. But nevertheless, where whatever the challenges it really what we focus on and what we want to focus on is how do we respond to it? So our challenges that come our way could either build us or make us or mold us into moving into God's purposes, or it can crush, it can be a heavy load, it can break us, it can really be something that pulls us to a place of despair. So it can either, you know, just put us flat on our faces or it can be used to wait upon God to ensure or to see what he makes out of this. So if we look at, you know, when we look back at our lives, we know that we've grown as people because of some of these challenges. Imagine if we had a life without challenges, if everything was it's perfect in its perfect sense, we probably still be immature, emotional, you know, self dependent people. But because there have been challenges and, you know, we need to overcome this life in itself becomes, I'd use the word colorful, you know, it makes it balance these things. These challenges begin to help you see more of yourself about what capacities God has put inside of you to be able to work through something. So I remember when, you know, my kids were young. I never, before I had my kids, I never ever thought that I would be able to manage multiple things at the home, you know, looking after the children. I didn't have any house help. I haven't had house help for long, for long periods of time. So I've managed the home on my own, looked after the children, have done a part time job, helped elderly parents, and all of this, you know, sometimes has been quite overwhelming. But when I look back, I begin to see that God did give me the grace to go through some of that and also probably showed me certain things that I was able to do. You know, maybe it's just planning or just learning how to organize a certain day, you know, knowing how to delegate certain things. So it taught me how to work through things. It helps, challenges do help each one of us to grow. And we do also find that when we learn to accept challenges, it becomes far easier than resisting a challenge. When we come to a place of fighting, or you know, maybe throwing our fist up or getting upset and getting angry, working through a challenge becomes a lot more difficult. So as believers, we come to a place of acceptance. Yes, that there are challenges, that there are instructions for us to follow even as we face those challenges, which is what we will look at the next hour. And that we, we also determine to stand up and face these challenges and use each of them to move ahead in what God wants to show us or God wants to make out of our families. Okay, so just as you, we all face challenges in different areas, we also face challenges specifically in marriage. And those are some of the things that we are going to be looking at today about what are common challenges that we face in marriage. I think there's someone else who's also added Maxon said, my main challenge I experienced in my family was being jobless when my job contract finished being unable to support my own family. I can imagine how difficult this is, especially for a man, because one of the major responsibilities for a man is to be able to provide and to be able to give to the family. And when there is a loss of job, the kind of stress and the kind of frustration can be very, very significant. Thank you. Thank you Maxon for sharing. Okay, so when we look at challenges in marriage, we, we remember something that we have made as a vow when we made a commitment to marry is that no matter what. And I don't know what kind of vows maybe each of us who have been married have, have said depending on the church that we've been to. But in general, the vows mean to say that whatever is to come, you know, whatever life has to hold, whatever life brings, I will be there with you. I am I have made the commitment to walk alongside with you. So that's the commitment that one makes during marriage. Okay. So some of the, maybe even as we go through this list, I know it may not be a, you know, an entire checklist, but nevertheless, I think it I believe it covers most, most things. Okay, so like someone was saying, often there are, you know, we get into marriage coming with multiple expectations, you know, dreaming that the world that the that our life ahead is going to bring a lot of goodness and excitement and, you know, all the dreams that we bring the castles that we built in the air, all of that at points of time could come crashing down. Okay, for many reasons. Probably there are expectations that have been unmet. There have been significant changes within the situation in marriage. Maybe there are lifestyle changes that are financial situations that change. There are personality changes. You know, there are there are differences in the way that that that a husband and a wife have understood each other. So it could be so many. But yet, the, the commitment that one makes is to walk forward in it for better or for worse, whatever the issues could be. So some of the issues that we can look at is, again, we said, you know, finances. So, especially, you know, and I see a lot of this, even as I work with people is that that when when two people get married, you know, when there isn't a financial maybe a compatibility in the families, what happens could be that, you know, someone expects to have a life that they lived before marriage, but when they come into reality with, but probably the kind of money that they're getting the financial situation that they may be facing, there can be definite issues in their in the way that they live. Okay, the finances get tight and they find it hard to come together to, you know, to to work out their lives using the finances that they have. But what what we need to understand is this time it is important couples stick together and extending their faith to God for the provision and blessing that God can give. Okay, like someone mentioned, sickness, sickness can be very unpredictable and sickness can come in very many ways. It can be either a physical sickness. It can be a mental illness. It can be maybe a child or a child born having a developmental issue or having any kind any any sense of a mental challenge that comes about. So, and a lot of this becomes unexpected. Okay, or there could be as a result of an accident that can be severe debilitating a debilitating a debilitating a debilitating a debilitating a debilitating a debilitating position that the person may be in. So, there could be so many things that come into this. Yet, as scripture says, you know, we, we in Proverbs 1814, it says your will to live can sustain you when you are sick. Okay, so we are called to continue to hope in the healing provision of God and continue to have the hope in Christ. Okay, so that's, that's another challenge that comes about the other few things is when, when there are issues between couple and there doesn't seem to be, you know, you do all the best that you can to work things out together to discuss it. The differences that there are, despite the talking about it, you know, things don't work out. And often they're quite convinced that that the that the relationship is not working out and they feel quite dejected. This is a difficult place to be in. But, you know, to understand that a lot of us are there, you know, probably are there still where there is a lot of mismatch in the way that we understand one another. Yet, it is the time where you reach out to God and seek help for whatever you may need, you know, whatever differences that could be to come to some place of agreement, some place of peace. So this could be ongoing, this can be happening, you know, on a regular basis, and that can be throw a huge load on the, on the people within the relationship. The other severe things could be where there is violence, where there is abuse, either physical violence or domestic violence, where there is aggression, where there is abuse that happens. You know, arguments can turn to be physically violent, physically abusive, tending to create such a strong rift in within the relationship, but trust is broken. There isn't any sense of peace there. This, of course, is our unhealthy situations, and definitely is not something it is a play. It is a situation that requires help and requires support and intervention in some way. There also could be a responsibility and neglect that comes about, you know, just having two people live in the house and one spouse, one of the partners are not taking on any form of a responsibility of the family. Or of anything that is expected of them, the roles that they have to play or, you know, helping out in decisions in general planning ahead of the life of the family, the life of the children and the entire stress and strain. The weight of these responsibilities is pushed on to that one member, and that gets very taxing. You know, it could lead to, you know, the responses could be either ways, where one just bears the weight, continues to bear the weight, but making them extremely weary and tired and not having an impetus to move forward. Or it can cause, you know, significant issues and riffs as a result of one speaking out and getting the other to back up. The other part, of course, the most painful of it all is where there is unfaithfulness or where there's abandonment as a result of infidelity when the spouse is unfaithful or gets, you know, by getting into an affair or even falling into adultery can be extremely devastating for the other person and for the rest of the family member. Issues, there are other kinds of challenges like we spoke about death, death of either a significant family member or within the equation there is definite as a result of either an illness or any other way where death comes in that becomes extremely painful and can be quite challenging in the way that the family moves ahead. So having seen all of this and like I said, maybe we haven't covered as many but but you know, we continue to see that these challenges could, could arise. There could be challenges happening even in the lives of children, maybe, you know, whether there is drug use addictions in any member of the family drug use addictions, forms of gambling. All of that causing severe strain and stress within the relationship in the family. So when we look at this, our questions are, yes, these are there, these are to come, these are inevitable, what should our responses be? How can we move forward? How can we respond in a way that will help us take these challenges in a way that of the way that is discussed in John 16, 33. How can we overcome? How can we triumph? How can we move past this? And what we see is, is the way that there are certain truths in God's Word that helps us to face this. So going back to that same scripture that we started off with in John 16, 33. Jesus says, He has overcome the world. And if we look at 1 John 5 verse 1, I'm on page 128, page 128. Yeah, 128. Yeah, so it says, every person who believes that Jesus is, in fact, the Messiah is God begotten. If we love the one who conceives the child, we'll surely love the child who was conceived. Every God begotten son conquers the world's ways. If you look it in the NKJV version, it says, whatever is born of God, overcomes the world. So if you look at John 16, 33, it says, Jesus has overcome the world. And 1 John 5, 4, sorry, John 5, 4 says, it's 1 John. Sorry, I think there's a misprint there. It's 1 John 5, 4, that whoever or whatever is born of God, overcomes the world. So as believers, we are born of God. In Jesus, we have been born of God. We are the child of God. And it says, all children who are of God, every child of God, conquers, overcomes the world. So no matter whatever comes our way, we have an overcoming. We have been called to overcome and because God has overcome this for us. So that helps us see and stand in the truth that we are overcomers, we are conquerors. 2 Corinthians 2, 14 says this, it says, God always leads us in triumph in Christ. He takes on that work for us to lead us in triumph in Christ. Now, does this mean that all the challenges will go away? Maybe not, but what it does is if you look at 2 Corinthians 2, 14, it diffuses the fragrance of his knowledge. When we believe we stand in the triumph that God has for us, the fragrance of his knowledge, we know more about him. It disperses who he is, what his plans are, what he has for us through the challenges that we are going through. Now, even as we've said this, we know that God leads us in triumph. We also go to believe God in his word, that in every situation he will bring us through triumph. So it could be, let's say if it is healing, if it is a sickness, we believe that God heals. So we stand in triumph in believing, we take on the spiritual truth of that and call that out into our natural. Or it could be maybe there isn't a job. We call forth that victory because we triumph in Christ, or it could be a difficult situation. We call forth the peace of God to overcome the situation that may be irreversible. So we do see that yes, there could be life's challenges, some may be reversible, some may not be reversible. But we believe what God's word has declared about us in that situation and become an overcomer. Because he is the one who leads us to triumph. So however difficult or bleak the situation may look like, we know that our hope is in the truth that we are overcomers. And we can keep our eyes focused on the word of God. So what we've covered till now is we looked, know that challenges are inevitable. There are different kinds of challenges we may all go through. Some are reversible, some are irreversible. Yet there is a truth that remains that God has called us to be overcomers. We are an overcomer because Jesus has promised to overcome so that we can overcome. And we being born of God, the children of God can overcome situations, can triumph in situations in Christ, thereby diffusing his fragrance in the knowledge, diffusing the fragrance of his knowledge in whatever situation we are in. Yet we keep hoping and praying and declaring God's word in situations which are reversible and wait for his hope and for his light to shine through that. Is there any question that any of you have? Oh, I'm sorry Charles, I'll just read out what Charles has said. He's written, I wanted to say that when children start coming in, a challenge of struggling for love, time and care sets in, absolutely. Yes, Kennedy's written old acquaintances too. Yeah, I think you did mean maybe old relationships that cause challenges. Yes Charles, let's just praying that your network's well. Okay, any questions? If not, we can take a 15 minute break and we will come back at 10. It's 9.46 on my clock. We can return at 10 o'clock.