 Why Are You Helping was written by Dr. Goodey on the SCP Wiki. You can find it in a link in the description below and it is under a Creative Commons share-alike attribution license. It's part of the Cool War 2 canon. It's so hard watching another level life you yourself dream to live. You watch as their success grows and grows like tumors upon your skin as you're forced to sit in silence. You watch their smiles and smiles of the ever-growing congregation of associates twist and beam down onto you, their eyes looking down upon you feeling burning rays of desire. You sit back and silently rage inside, boiling and seething within the confines of your self-imposed limitations. You are tortured by their growth. When you know you will never reach the height of accomplishment in your own life. Your brain fills with static and want as you fail to understand why you could ever hope to be half as interesting or half as meaningful as they are. These feelings of worthless self-loathing crash down upon you moment after moment as if your confines are digging into your skin like rusted chains. You fail to understand why you even care to be anything other than what you are. You want to scream, you want to snap your chains and finally silence the static and the desire of the same sort of crashing echoed heard in your own brain. The days blur into each other in an endless spiral of downward despair as you try and fail to become who you wish you could be. You attempt in your way to escape this prison of limitations, trying and failing over and over and over again to free yourself, each time being met with yet another wave to come once again and knock you to your knees. Your body reacts in the only way it knows how, fight or flight. You fight and you flee, trying and failing to shake yourself from the depths of despair. You slip into a state of near-exhaustion and collapse onto the cold hard floor in an undignified heap. You are unsure as to how long you sat there, the sweat burning your eyes like needles, digging their way into your flesh. Your heart beats frantically, its loud thuds and rapid pulsing like the heartbeat of a thousand already dead and dying people. It beats loudly as if attempting to break through the deafening screams of your own skull. You choke as your eyes, once so full of promise, slowly begin to fill with pools of black. Your mouth and throat are dry and burning, fighting to take in each gulp of air just as your lungs struggle to get oxygen. There's nothing that can quell the anger, the hate, the urge to simply give up. Every action, each look, every word you speak is met with the sound of heavy static. You feel yourself slowly begin to turn pale. You feel your pulse begin to slow. Your vision becomes hazy, your body weak. There's nothing that can help you. You can't feel the thudding of your own heart. It seems to have stopped as you lay on your side, eyes wide open and staring straight at the door. You begin to go through the motions of your life, getting up, getting dressed, and not having a clue as to why you're moving at all. Your mind begins to fuzz, the static, the desire and the hate seem to grow at the very center of you, crowding your senses, slowly drawing you down into that dark abyss that no light can ever reach. You force yourself back to your feet, tightening the chains around your flesh as you take breath after deep breath, because there's nothing else you can do. You take one last look at yourself, shaking your head as if you were some desperate onlooker to your own existence. You attempt to make eye contact with yourself, trying and failing to get any sort of response as you begin to turn away. You're not yourself anymore. With the last trace of your want worn away, you become what you were always meant to be. You realize that your body has now become numb. You just want to let it rest, pretend that it's just another part of you and not some foreign object that has replaced who you were. The rest of you slowly slips away. Coming out of the shadows and lying at your side, the voices of the one you wish to be echoing through the walls and the laughing faces of their compatriots twisted and growing ever louder. You sit for a moment. You let it sink in. The chains loosen their grip. It's done. You're gone to the static once again. Thank you very much for watching. I know last week I said I was probably going to do one video a week for a little while here while I, honestly, I'm not doing a whole lot of recording or even writing, but mostly like my creative energies in my head are being committed to the ideas like, what can I do for YouTube shorts content? I know that sounds silly and I should probably, but it's one of those things where it's like, it seems probably in my head more work than it is, but I'm trying to get it right. I think by, in fact, I'm not, not, not I think I on Thursday, you'll probably start to see shorts content from me and we'll see how well that works because right now that's very in. I'm sure by the time I start, the YouTube algorithm will have moved on because I'm just late to the party. Either way, again, thank you very much for watching. If you enjoyed the video, hit the subscribe button, hit the notification bells next to that. So you're notified when I upload new videos and then head on over to patreon.com forward slash decimarian and pledge at any level like everybody here on the screen already has, including Sanjiriki, who has pledged at a hundred dollars. It is nice to know that I'm not alone out here and I will see you all again on next Tuesday. Yes, that's when the next regular video comes out. You'll see some shorts between now and then, but I'll see you next Tuesday.