 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Assey of JonathanAssey.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, stop being too nice to men, do this instead. I got something in my eye. Really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content and hit that like button if this content resonates with you. I'm gonna, we're gonna talk about stop being too nice to men and do this instead. Ladies, before I get too deep into this, I wanna share a perspective I have with you and I'm an equal opportunity judge. Let me repeat that. I'm an equal opportunity judge and what I mean to say is I judge men and women equally for what I consider is bad behavior. What I consider bad behavior. So from the woman's perspective, or let me reframe that, from the man's perspective, me being the man, when I think of women who act entitled, women who act like, they feel like they deserve to be worshiped at every sense of the word without having to put in any effort, those are the women I'm gonna scold from my video perspectives. And from the woman's perspective, when it comes to men, I'm here to say I'm tired of effing bad behavior from men, behavior like inconsistency, wishy-washing, men who complain, men who are users, men who are players, men who are ghost and disappear. And I say this because I work with, I'm a dating a relationship coach for women, mostly in midlife, which is after baby making years and before retirement. So my clientele and I build a very intimate relationship with one another and it breaks my heart when I've seen them continually choosing men who are complainers, whiners, wishy-washy, uncertain, and their behavior just isn't very intentional. So I'm here to say that right off the bat, we have to stop giving men a pass for bad behavior. And bad behavior is simply things like not returning a phone call when you say you're gonna return a phone call, blowing off a date when, or when they said they were gonna go on a date or acting belligerent on a date because they drank too much. And I'm saying this because I experienced this once and let me share with you a story that illustrates this point. So this was shortly after my divorce and well before my significant relationship that I had some years ago. I went on a date with a woman and I first, when I met her at the door, I'm like, wow, she's gorgeous. I met her at her home and then we walked down to a local village area where we grabbed a drink. But what happened was I went there, I went to her house and I hadn't eaten anything all day. I was on an absolute empty stomach. And then we had a cocktail at the bar and we were gonna order some appetizers, but I can't remember what happened but we got sidetracked or something and we had a couple drinks first. And the next thing you know, and I didn't know that this was gonna happen is I got alcohol poisoning. I literally got sick from the alcohol because I had no food in my stomach. And what happened next was I was belligerent, I was aggressive, I was pretty much a jerk that evening. And now what's interesting from my perspective because I was looped up, I thought we were having a good time. And because she was being too nice, she didn't let on to me at that moment that I was kind of acting like a jerk. Now, I suspect it wasn't that I crossed boundaries or anything, but I mean, I probably crossed some soft boundaries but I didn't cross any hard boundaries. And why I'm sharing this with you is the next day when I reached out to her and saying, hey, I had a great time, I'd love to see you again, she smacked me in the face. Now, figuratively speaking, not literally speaking, she said, look, you were a total jerk the other night and I never wanna see you again. And I was like, whoa, really? And then I was very apologetic what happened, blah, blah, blah, and then she went on to express what happened. And I felt like a jerk. Now, why I'm sharing this with you is she told me off. She told me off. And that was absolutely a great wake up call for me. In fact, I spoke to my therapist about it and she said, hey, Jonathan, maybe you need to be a little bit more conscious and aware, not just of drinking, but of your behavior. And maybe that there's a deeper issue going on and actually through this experience, through her telling me off was one of the best things that can happen for me because it actually helped me shift behavior in so many areas of my life. So I'm here to say, ladies, you gotta stop giving men a pass. You gotta stop giving men a pass. Call them out on their bullshit behavior. And if you need to buy them this book called shut up, stop whining and get alive, you know? Because guys can be absolute jerks. And I think there's a, I'm burping right now. I think there's a benefit to getting these wake up calls. And I'm here to invite you to give men a wake up call. And if they need a greater, deeper wake up call, maybe that wake up call could be in the area of self love for yourself and for others. And this is why I wrote my book, what the heck is self love anyway? Let's put it over here because the t-shirt there says self love club. I can't tell you how much my life changed when I began to do a deeper dive into my own personal development, self help and spiritual work and why I'm suggesting that for you because we have to, we have to set better boundaries when people behave badly. And that's my invitation for you today. What you can do better is set boundaries and not cutting men so much slack. We've got to stop being too nice to people that act, behave poorly. Now, listen, I've been told that being nice is not telling people what you really feel. That's what someone once told me. And there's probably some truth to that. And that's why I want you to lean into established boundaries. Not, you know, it's one thing if a person crosses a soft boundary, but I crossed a heavy, you know, well, my boundary, well, in her case, I crossed a soft boundary. I didn't do anything physical from that perspective. But when people cross soft boundaries, absolutely call them out on their shit because we got to stop giving people a pass and maybe through that experience, they actually grow up. And the benefit is like with this woman, we can pay it forward to another woman. And by the way, that woman who called me out on shit, we became Facebook friends years later and we laughed about the whole incident since then. We still keep in touch. Anyway, I hope this resonated with you. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below. If you have something to add, something to share, have a question, please post it because I do my best to read all of them. And if this content resonates with you, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Johnathan Bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now, bye-bye.