 Throughout life, you're taught many different lessons. Treat others how you want to be treated. Look both ways before crossing the street. Pay your taxes or else we'll throw you in jail even though we don't tell you the amount of money that you owe, you have to figure it out by yourself even though we know the amount of money that you owe to us but we're not gonna fucking tell you that because we're assholes and we are assholes. And one of the last ones and most important ones is don't judge a book by its cover. So today we will be judging all of these books by their covers. The way that we're judging this is out of a star system. How many stars can you get? 10 stars total. One being I will burn the book. 10 being it's so good, maybe I'll read it. Also we have this wonderful pillow fort that I myself put together. Just me. Let's start off with the smallest book first. The Witch's Spellbook for Love, Happiness and Success. My sister-in-law got me this book so therefore it's automatically a 10 out of 10. What? We're going to judge it on the cover. One thing I will say is I believe that the front of this book is made of velvet. I hate velvet so much. I hate it so much I can't stand the thing. This velvet isn't horrific. I think as far as the front of the book, the cover because that's what we're judging. I think thematically it's nice. It's all olden day kind of looking. I wish it had a little bit more though. You know, it leaves a lot to be desired. I wish there was maybe a frog or a broom or any other stereotypical witch things. I do love the gold leaf. Huh? I'm going to give this the front, the cover. We're judging on the cover, not the contents or the way in which I obtained the book. Giving these are for five out of 10. 50%, five out of 10. Five stars out of 10. Out of 10 stars. For each star, I want, I want, okay, whoever's editing. I want you to put in, I don't want it to just go poof, eight out of 10, poof, five out of 10. I want it to go do do do do for five out of 10, you know? You can do whatever sound you want. You can change it every time but I want the stars to each go do do do do. You know what I mean? Cool. I also don't want it to be stars. Do it something involving me because I'm a narcissist. Use my face. Change it every time. Yeah, change it every time. I was going to say I don't want to make it harder for you. I do. It's the same. No food for a week. This one is adult children of emotionally immature parents. How to heal from distant, rejecting or self-involved parents? No, I would like to say because my mother watches these videos, I didn't buy this. I am bored. I think that they could have done a cooler design. Like, like, like, like they have a parent that has a clown face. I think they could have made a parent into bozo the clown or bamboozled the clown. Fun fact. Not saying that my father is emotionally immature. Although it depends on who you ask that question, I suppose. But my dad in college took a clown class and his name was bamboozle the clown. So this cover's kind of boring. I'm giving it a four out of 10. Three out of 10. They could have done better. It doesn't grab me. Okay, it doesn't grab me. Now this is a fucking cover. Are you kidding me? Look at all of the, look at all the, first of all, I love the little arc that they did up here. I love the graphic design. It's my passion. You've got a little mummy guy over here. You've got a demon. Look at this book, huh? This book makes me almost want to read it. The Halloween Tree, a captivating title because this whole, this whole thing, the tree is barely in it, which means that maybe the tree isn't the real thing in the story. You know, maybe it's about the friends that we learned along the way. Do you think Bigfoot eats ass? Bigfoot eats ass, right? This is getting because, you know, I don't think perfection exists other than me, of course. I'm going to give this a 9.8 stars out of 10. Now make sure whoever is doing this, make sure that you correctly do the math on the amount of my face that you cut off on that last one. It can only be 80% of my face, okay? You take out whichever you see fit, but it has to make sure that last star, make sure it's 80%. The Halloween Tree, mm, mm. Demand full automation, demand universal basic income, demand the future, inventing the future, post-capitalism in a world without work. I don't like the cover of this. I don't know where to look. Who knows where to look on this? Is it this? I thought this was a sticker that they put on this to cover this. This is a stupid, stupid cover. Two. It's bad. A manifesto for the end of capitalism. Have you been imagining a world without work, Jocelyn? Am I contributing to this capitalist society? My capitalist pig? Do you think I should be roasted at the stake? You do. You do. Tim Powers, expiration date, the best fantasy writer to appear in decades. Whoa. This is kinda cool. He's getting crazy head right now on this, on this book cover. Look at this little sun guy down here. Look at that face. Do you see it? I love him. This is going to get a seven out of 10. There's multiple bookmarks in here. This is oddly unsettling. Glue. But it's like, it looks like found footage. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Climb Smith. Dude, I loved it when they said, yo, I got that Pride and Prejudice. Remember that when they said that in the movie? In the book? You know, it's not bad, but I kinda wish that they did a little bit more to really grab me. Maybe if it was Keira Knightley tearing somebody apart. I think that would be kinda cool. But I think that they could have gone a little, you know, I think it's a little bit boring. That's all I'm saying. I'll give it a five and a half. I'm automatically making this a one out of 10. Why? I'll tell you why. Because I have a reoccurring dream that reminds me of this. It's where people bloom out of flowers and it's a nightmare and I hate it. I talked about it on my podcast Brain Leak. I don't think that episode is out, but I did talk about it. Yeah, it's terrible. Hate it. It's too simple. Yeah, it's terrible. Hate it. It's too similar to my dream. Ha ha. Now this. Now this is a cover of a book. And no, I'm not pandering. I would never pander. I'm not being paid to say this yet. But once we dot some T's and cross some I's, then maybe I'll be reeling in a couple of paychecks. This is Super Mega Saves the Troops, the incredible novel written by Ryan McDonnell. McGee and Matt Watson. A tale of two boys saving the universe. Not just the world, not just the country, not just the troops, but the world. Have I read it? Front to back, sideways, upwards, all around. I could tell you a million things about this. And look at these boys on the back. Look at them. Those are authors. Nay, visionaries. But again, this is not a book review. This is a review of the cover of the book, which is impeccable, unbelievable. I should have the boys sign my cover. You know, I said before that perfection doesn't exist. But I truly believe it does. And it exists in the land and in the book. How to pass as human. Kind of sexy. Is it gay to have sex with a robot? Whoa! Whoa! You can show this on screen, I guess. You know, I think it's cool how the front of the cover kind of goes front to back. You can see the nuts and the bolts, which is, you know, it's representative of the AI robot technology, because he's not a real human. I do like the art on it. I would give it a 6 out of 10. Ah! Another book with another perfect cover. My friend Aaron has an uncle here, Dr. Cecil H. H. Mills. And he's a real fucking piece of work. But he did give me this book. And I believe it is signed. Says Ethan, thank you for Spencer, but unjokingly. Thank you for you. Isn't that nice? We have a very hardy boys-esque cover. Wonderful, perfect, beautiful cover on this book. The mystery of exploding teeth and other curiosities from the history of medicine. He's really got some big chompers over there. What is this? Why are his teeth exploding? It begs so many questions. But does it get me to want to read the book? No, not much could. Except mayhaps. Look at this. This, I believe, is a plesiosaur. And this, I don't remember the name of. Put the name of it. It's that one. I think this guy right here, which I think is a plesiosaur, could have been the Loch Ness monster. I know that we're not judging the inside. But look at this fucker right here. Look at it. This is a 9.9 out of 10. I love the Loch Ness monster. I was obsessed with the Loch Ness monster growing up as a child and today. I wouldn't want nothing more than for Nessie to be found, alive or dead. Well, it would be sad if it was dead. But it would give us proof. It would give us the proof we needed. And it would make the inside of my heart sing, and it would go, oh, she was alive. How to be successful without hurting men's feelings. Non-threatening leadership strategies for women. Use math words to sound smart. I should start doing that. Great. Tight. Cover. It's got. It's dazzled. So it's a little bit of feminine energy. We love feminine energy. Here in the workspace at Crank Game Place. Don't we? Don't we? I'm not going to objectify something that a woman made, you know? So I just don't think it's fair to rate it, OK? I just don't think it's fair. Or good. Or good. Because I am an ally. Court of thorns and roses. Cool dog on the front. And we love dogs around here. From number one, New York Times bestselling author, Supermanga. They were. It's a seductive, breathtaking book that blends romance, adventure, and fairy lore into an unforgettable read. A court of thorns and a court of roses. I like the dog. It looks cool. A lot of red books. I'll give it a five. And the final book. Oh, man. You should have gotten me the Bible. The Bible would have gotten like a two. It's very boring on the front. And in it. I haven't read it. But I can only assume. The pictorial life of Christ. This seems old. Oh, Jesus. Sat by the seaside. But we're not talking about the inside of the book. We're talking about the start of the book. Again, a red book. They're really trying to get me to grab it because of the thumbnail trick. They knew this back then. They were like, oh, damn, we need to do red. I do like it's textured, ribbed for your pleasure. I'll give it a four. A four. Does that seem fair? Is it blasphemous to make it a four? I've always been a little bit confused as to how Jesus is the Son of God, but he's also God. How does that work? Joe Rogan, figure it out. Give me the final book. It's very old. I have to be very, very careful. Is this an heirloom? It's an heirloom. After watching me rate these books, where do you think I will rate this? Last book, last book, last book. I want a book. I want a book. Give me a book. I've never said that. First time for everything. It's heavy. It smells old. Feels canvassing, going to open my eyes. Edward Fox. Edward Fox. That's site giftly problem. Man, I have that problem, too. Edward Fox. Do you see it? Whoa. They're fucking. Just blur. Necessary things. That's crazy. Man, Edward really did fuck. Whoa. It's color. They had color back then? There's boobs on there. Wow. Whoa. It's really hard to tell if he's holding a scroll or if it's his penis. Very hard to tell. Well, guys, you heard it here first. Edward Fox. And the cover of this book doesn't. If we're charging books on their covers, which is what we're doing. It's the title of the video. It's the thumbnail, everything. This is a boring book cover. It's boring. It looks like a paper bag. I'm writing it a 1 out of 10. I don't give a Edward fucks. Boring book cover. You could have clickbaited the shit out of with the cover of your book, Edward, but you didn't. I respect you for it, but was it a smart business decision? Listen, I don't want to be that guy, but I've never heard of Edward fucks. Maybe I would have if you had put a boob on the title cover. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just, that's all I'm saying. So today, we rated the covers of books. Did you agree with my ratings? Did you disagree? Let me know down below. Actually, give me your ratings of each book. Let me know what you thought. And let me know what you thought of this little house, this little hut kind of cozy. You could read a book in here. I won't, because I don't know how to read. So thank you so much for watching this video. Thank you for rating book covers alongside with me. We did what we were always told not to do, to judge books by their covers. But every once in a while, you've got to bend the rules. You've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet. And we made breakfast today. Thank you so much for watching.