 I'd like to start this video off with an apology. I am sorry that this is going to be by far the worst, most niche video I've ever uploaded on this channel, because today, we are playing a little game known as Doritos Crash Course. Now yes, if you've never heard of this game, it might look like a cheap, free Xbox Live arcade game from the old 360 days that's sponsored by Doritos, and it is. But also it's really, really good and addictive. I don't know why this was the game that me and the boys played in the Xbox Live party chats and raced each other in, but it is. I saw it on my Xbox One when I was looking through my games and I just knew I had to make a video about it. But I'm not going to explain myself too long because, well, let's be honest, it's just you and me in this video, man. We're the only two still watching. But with that said, let's go ahead and hop in to Doritos Crash Course. Oh, look at the Xbox Live Arcade logo. That's me. That's my old gamer tag. There's an X in the middle. Don't bully me. I already know that. I can feel the bully income. They are sponsored by Doritos Snack Strong. Listen to that. Listen to that authentic tune. I need Doritos Crash Course fans out there. You already know we're getting back into it. Why are we playing Doritos Crash Course in 2023? I have no earthly idea. Let me load my settings. No way. They gave me a gamer picture. That used to mean something back in the day. OK, so obviously back in the day, you would do Xbox Live, play, race your friends, get some real stuff going. But that's I'm not exactly thinking the Doritos Crash Course servers are popping nowadays. So instead, we're going to jump in a single player and whoa, whoa, they added some new courses. Japan easy. Why is Japan the only one with difficulty settings? First of all, when did Las Vegas get added to this game? I don't remember any of this. All right, let's start on USA. So here's what we got. Here's some courses we've got. These are obviously locked. So we're going to be going for high scores in one and two. Let me see what I can get going. Oh, shit, there's my Xbox avatar. Damn, bro got into all the Doritos. OK, OK, well, I like it. All right, let me take off. Go. Oh, oh, I'm mad fast in this game. Can you slide? Oh yeah, you already know I was speed running on the side. Let's go. Damn, what do you got the goofy sound? No, what do you got the goofy sound effect? Hold on, why am I running like Fred Flintstone? Is he going to make that goofy sound effect every time I'm almost? No, watch out. Oh, my goodness. Damn, didn't mean like Crash Bandicoot. Good hop. Love to see that. I am going to get a good time on this. What is the world record? Hold on, I got to know. I got it. I am moving right now. Hold on, gotta reset my goof factor, goofing up again. How many times am I gonna have to hear the goofy, ah! I don't think my character knew how to swim. Damn, why you hit me with the cloud node? All right, all right, love to see that. Boom, okay, we got 46 for our first run on lap one, not bad. But we got a two, we got a silver medal, I think. I could easily clean 10 seconds off that run. That was a, that was a raw run. Let me see what I'm working with. Oh, my best time was a 31 second. Ooh, I was kind of god-like at the game. Look at this though. I'm telling you, this game was so popular. I had a 31 second run. That is number 107,000 on the leaderboard. What can I do to clean up? I want sub 30. I'm going for sub 30 on Doritos Crash Course. Call me crazy, but we're playing Doritos Crash Course in 2023, you already know I'm crazy. Let's go! All right, I'm off to the races. First off, I'm gonna put in a jump here. A late slide jump, beautiful, run. Get another slide, late jump as well. Don't fall, we can't fall. There's, if it's a fall, it's a reset. Late slide jump, love it. Oh my god, he fucking blew it. Absolute amateur hour. Oh my god, it's amateur hour right now. Why did, my thumb's cramping up. My thumb's cramping up. Oh my god, my thumb. Oh my god, that was still almost a 33. 33, that was still almost my best time. Give me that gold medal, give me that. Yes, number one. Oh, the crowd's loving it. They love it. Doritos Crash Course, they're loving it. You know what, maybe before I can ace level one, I've gotta learn all the levels. So let me go ahead and move on to level two real quick. Learning the ropes. I'm trying to get all the nostalgia here. I'm trying to see every inch of Doritos Crash Course. Let me see what they got out here. Oh, I remember those things. If you get hit by those, you are trashed at the game. It is what it is. That's gonna get you bullied in the Xbox Live party. You can't get hit by those. Ooh, skip that, I'm different. London and Vegas download now ain't no way they got ads in my Doritos Crash Course. They got advertisements in my, ah! As I was saying, they've got advertisements in my advertisement. Oh, a rope. Damn, looking like Happy Wheels. Oh, no, I'm not getting hit by these. Ah! But I'm different. No! Embarrassing, but I'm different. I'm starting to learn to not, not run my mouth. Ha ha ha ha ha! That one was aggressive though. Come here! Oh, flawless rope transition. You know that's in the world record run and you don't wanna go down here. World record does not go down there. I mean that rope. Swing, the swing is so slow though. I really don't know what's gonna be fast. Definitely not dying. Dying is not gonna be faster. Shit! Oh, look at that Batman air stall that was sick. I look like I was the knight right there. Give me that rope. Give me that trip! Nice. All right, all right, definitely not a clean run. That was actually ass, if we're being honest. That was not a good run. Now I don't remember. Do I have to pay for the rest of the levels in USA or do I just unlock them? Yeah, no, you just unlock them. All right, let's do all of USA. Then I'm going back to world one. I'm gonna get a speed run. I'm gonna get a speed run going. Let's go. Okay, nice. Beautiful. I don't think, oh my God, the rope is so slow. But you need it. You need it to pass. Oh my God, this is running some ass. Why was my character a little? Why was my character kind of throwing some ass? I'm not gonna lie, hold on. Oh shit, oh my God. Oh my goodness, look at bro, go. The crowd is loving it too. Damn, what they got going on, bro? My guy ain't no way my guy's slangin' right there. Oh, this level is sick. That was sick. Damn, when they said USA, they met, hold on, let me take a pause. When they said USA, they met it. You got the skyscrapers in the back. You got the USA balloon. The Statue of Liberty chillin' next to Mount Rushmore. That cannot be geographically correct. I'm getting goofy again. Watch the hammers. I am the knight. Batman stall in the air. That's what I'm gonna call the tech. Batman stall, Batman stall, insane. Is that a fucking alien? Is that a paintball gun? Get out of the way. Oh, it just hit you a little bit, all right. Ah, they can't. Ah, they can't. Ha ha ha ha, damn, leave me alone. Oh shit, nice. Nice, nice, huge. Oh, easy dodge, easy dodge, easy dodge, easy, easy. Oh my God, call me Goku the way I'm ultra instinct out here. Oh, little something for the mothers in the crowd. Ha ha ha ha, that is awful. Ha ha ha ha, all right. Only took me a minute, 39 seconds, but I feel like that's definitely respectable. Oh my God. Whoa, what is my, he's getting sturdy. Oh my God, he killed that. We're onto USA4 on the rebound. I don't remember anything about this level. I'm gonna be honest. Oh, I do remember, nevermind. They got the bouncy things. This level's intense, fellas. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not a Doritos Crash Course head like I am. You definitely wanna prep yourself for these bouncy levels. This is where stuff gets real. This is where you lose the respect of the Xbox Live party. Oh no, I got too goofy, Vilma. Okay, good transition. Swing on the rope. Ah, shit. What the fuck? Ha ha ha ha, I don't remember that umbrella. And all of that was pretty funny. Okay, okay. Doritos Crash Course got a little bit of a funny bone. All right, okay. Okay, okay. This game is just really good. Like, unironically, this game just controls pretty good. Like, it's a good game. Doritos kinda killed it. Oh my God, this level fucking, nevermind. I take it back. This shit blows. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. Come on. Give me that. Give me that. Give me that, give me that, yes. Yes, that's huge. Huge. On the, on the, don't get hit. Oh my God, they killed me. I'm good, I'm good. I'm back. They respawned. It's already get over dramatic there. It's just, I take this shit serious. Oh, got it. Got it again. Slide. Oh, you know the slide there is killer in this beat. Oh, oh my God. Remember how I said I was UI go-go before? I am UI go-go. Oh, it didn't even try. Nice camera angle. Oh, I can, wait. Wouldn't my friends got a 106 on here? I don't remember who Charger Killa is, but ain't no way that I can let that slide. Hold on, I damn sure I'm not gonna get beaten by an Xbox Live friend, hold on. Let me just restart that one. I know we have one more USA level left, but let me go ahead and give you a quick speed run on level four. I know level ones are target, but let me show you why they call me the beast. There we go. You know you love that transition. Oh shit, I gotta reset that. Okay, my character running around like a plane is funny the first time, but I feel like on resets that's gonna get annoying. There we go. Hit the slide. Beautiful. Kinda killed my speed there a little bit. Love that. Love that for me, love that for me. Ain't no way I lose, I'm gonna be honest. Make it nice. That was huge. That was good. That was really good. No, no. There's a slow section on the run. There's just nothing you can do about it. If you wanna save time, you gotta go. Oh, can't miss that section. You can't miss that. Gotta do a little bit of stalwart there. I'm getting a little goofy in the legs again. Oh, oh, come off it, dude. Wait, there's no way. Dude, 106 is hard. Holy shit. Apparently I was friends with people in high places in the Doritos Crash Course community. This is a hard to be record. That rope is so slow, I think. Is it not? Maybe it's not, I don't know. It feels like that can't be the right solution because it's so slow. If you don't need the rope, don't take it. That was great. That was unironically really good. Oh my God, the speed boost there was unreal and I had to slow down. The speed boost there was crazy, though. Don't miss the cycle. Love that, love that for me. Yes. Don't miss that cycle either, nice. All right, let's be honest, though. Let's be honest. This is a run and a half. This is a run right now. Huge bounce. Oh my God, he's going rope-less. Come on, come on. Let's go, time. One minute, I could do sub one minute, too. I knew I was better than whoever that guy is. Where am I on the leaderboard? Top 40k and you know I can clean that up, too. You know I can, but I'm not going to. But you know I could get sub one minute. Nothing but air. Okay, so this is the final level of USA, I believe. And it looks like it's a bitch because the only person on my friends list is one minute 44. Whoa, they got all the mechanics now. They got all the mechanics now, huh? Okay, we're flying. Love that for me. Like that, like that. Love that. No, not that. No, I'm not playing those games. Rope transition, beautiful. Onto that, over the rope. We're going rope-less again. No, yes. Oh my God, that was clean. That was clean. Unironically, this might be my best attempt I ever get on this map. Go, go, go, go. What am I doing? Oh, shit. No, how was I supposed to know what was happening? Okay, okay, I see now, I see. Kind of a lame section of the run, dude. There's nothing I can do. Lame section of the run, oh my. No, no shot, I have to do that all again. And the run's dead. This level is bad, man. They didn't know what they were doing with this one. Go, go, go, go. Oh, no trip, no trip, no trip. You mother. Worst day of my life. Why do you slide up? Why is the momentum carrying that way? Okay, damn, I'm kind of getting after it, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm done, I'm done speaking. Ah. There ain't no shot. I could have sub one minute that level. Do I have to do it again? Why is my character getting after it like this is a good thing? Damn, I sucked. I did not, I'm not gonna finish with a silver medal. I'm getting a good run here. Let's go. All right, we had a great run last time. I wanna do that again. I really, really do. Okay, not my best run. Okay, not my best run. I feel like my run came after that section is where I really pop off. So maybe we play it very safe until then. Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it big, let's do it big. It's a casual run until this point. Yes. Hey, it's definitely slow there, but that's fine. Okay, it feels slow. Something's changed. Go, go, go, go, go. I didn't need to rope for that. What the? Oh my God, the trick. See, this is what I meant when I said before that see this is bad, dude. I could have done a sub one minute run, man. Let's clean it up, let's clean it up. Maybe there's a trick. Maybe I don't need the air to get over this. Oh no, it's shot, what? What? Ain't no way they robbed me like that. Ain't no shot they robbed me. Nah, I gotta call 911 after that one. I'm snitching. I'm straight up snitching. Doritos Crash Course just robbed me. Okay, we're over that. Let's go, land in the middle, get the big bounce. Like that, like that indeed. Yup, good transition. Play it safe on this part, this part sucks. Okay, get out of there, get out of there, get out of there. Nice, big jump, love that. I'm tripping. Oh my God, it's a five minute stun. All right, remember the core elements. Avoid as many ropes as possible. Don't slow down, let's go. Okay, the ropes are definitely faster. Eight seconds, all right, time it. If we have to do that section again, remember it took eight seconds with no ropes. Okay, I'm not, I'm not. All right, now let's try the ropes. Let's see if we can get past it in less than eight seconds and on the ground. This is an important part of speed runs. An important part of speed runs is the routing. You guys wouldn't know that. You know, watch as many speed run record videos as me. Yes, it's slightly faster to take the rope, seven seconds. Nice, beautiful. All right, there's nothing we can do here. We just have to accept that this is time loss. Don't slide on this section either. That's not like it matters, we have to wait anyway. Okay, minute nine, minute nine, that's clean. I'll take it. I'll definitely take it. We'll take the go, oh, oh, little to the right, little to the left. Oh, oh, oh, he was getting after it. Okay, I'll take it. Damn, that bumped us up quick. We are actually out here, 51K, that's huge for me. And I guess since that was level five, we did all five stages of USA. Look at this dude, my best time is 33 seconds. That's, I can't slide with that. Here we go, we're going for it all now. This is it, this is the meat of the video. We're going for sub 30, level one crash course, let's go. I'm the slide, late jump. Can't miss that spot though. Love that, love that for me. Late slide into a late jump, get the little speed there. That's huge, I think that's huge, that felt good. Okay, I think I like what I'm seeing right now. I think I'm like, oh my God. Damn, that's still a 31, nine, five, seven. How do you get better than that? That was clean. It was flawless. Is there a way that I can see who's above me on the times? Cause 31.879 is my best score. So I didn't even beat my best score. Is it even possible to get a sub 30? How do they do it? There's gotta be like some crazy tech. There's gotta be some crazy Doritos crash course tech. Here we go. My hand cramped up. Embarrassing. Maybe jump less is jumping just slower. I mean, that ate up a little bit of time, I guess. Okay, I'm liking this. Again, this feels fast. Oh my God, that was fast. Oh ho. Oh yeah, baby. That's it. That's the secret sauce we were looking for. Shit. Okay, it's the late slides. You gotta let him slide on the ground. Oh, what's he doing? Oh my God, he's getting after it again. And how many dances they program in this game? Sub 30. All I need is sub 30 and I feel so good. I feel so good with a sub 30. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Maybe I discovered a new tech right there. You can slide on upward slopes as well. Ain't no way that's faster. Did you see the speed of the slide, jump, slide, jump, cancel strategy? Could that perhaps be what I need to do? It's hard. I don't even know if it's better. It's definitely hard. It feels like it's faster, but I could be wrong. Okay, let me try implementing that strategy with a little more restraint. Let's not go for the perfect slide, jump strategy. Let's just fit in in like spaces like we know it works really good. Like right there, it's really good to get that hop. And then maybe that's it for now. Like maybe we just leave it be unless we get right here and then we do that. And then I start feeling myself so I just start doing it anyway, you know what I'm saying? Oh my God, that was good. Okay, well, that one messed up my route. I shouldn't do it there. Dammit. So if I'm just aiming for sub 30, maybe I go with the same strat I've always had and then implement the slide cancel in just the mandatory place. Like right here, I fucked it up. Like, oh my God, look at the speed. Look at the speed on that. And I got here three seconds late. Dammit. It's because I'm letting go. It's so hard to hold down left trigger and slide cancel. It really is. Your thumb just starts sliding off. All right, I'm gonna go with the same start I've always done and then I'm gonna start slide jumping in the middle. There we go, all right. Now this is where I'm gonna, oh, see, I stopped. Oh, and you can just hop over the middle section entirely with a well-placed slide jump. Oh! That might be enough to shave off a second. If we don't stop and we just do everything else normal and slide jump over that, maybe that's the key. All right, stay normal. See, this is the hard part, though, is going for something you know isn't fully optimal is like, why not just go all the way? Oh my God, the stupid sound effect. No, that could have been it if I got a, ah, ah! Okay, okay, I'm gonna spam it. I'm gonna go ahead and say maybe everything I've said before this was complete, a total lie. Maybe you just need to actually go after it. Maybe you just need to have that winner mentality. I don't wanna just win. I wanna be a champion. Ah, shit. I will say I've been doing this for so long that my fingers are starting to hurt. Oh, that was definitely it, dammit. Damn it, dammit, dude, that was the run. Oh, what a transition. No, what a transition to be wasted. Well, I saved the screenshot of Doritos Crash Course. I didn't, no, I don't have any friends to show. Oh, ah, shit. I still cleaned up my time, but I messed up by hesitating, dammit. Top 80,000, top 80,000. If we can clean it up to get sub 30, we might be looking at top 50,000. Oh, that was it, that was cool. No. Okay, let me focus, let me focus, let me focus. It's really important at the very end you have to hit the skip. It's gonna take forever for me to clutch up and do it. Hesitation. I still cleaned it up and got a 30, though. I almost quit, I almost quit, but let's clean up. What does a 30 get you? I, ah, hesitation. You need to clear it in one jump to get 29. Where am I now? Top 40k. 40k, if I get sub 30, I'm about to launch into the stratosphere. Paving new ways for the derailleur's crash scores from you. Oh, no, no, I got the final jump. Just not the, not my cleanest run, man. Top 30k, oh my god, we're not even sub 30 yet. That was a clean opening too. I can see it now. I can actually picture, I'm not even joking like a 28. A 28 second could be very reasonable for me. Sometimes you just get it in the slide clicks and everything's moving great, but other times it's just everything's a mess. Ah, I'm getting worse, I'm getting worse, I'm getting worse. Ah, I didn't get to jump. Damn, okay, I was slow anyway. I need to find a way to get over that second conveyor belt. If I could skip that conveyor belt, it all becomes so easy. Maybe I should go for a reset on that one. I don't know, I really don't know. Ah, please, please, I can see it in my my side, dude, I can see it. Oh, no, that one, come on, everyone, come on, come on. Focus, focus, this one, this one, this one. Focus up, focus up. Maybe 28's a little out of the picture, but 29 is doable now. My hands hurt so bad. Please, let this be the one. Ah, bullshit. That's the opening we need. No, no, oh, the choke, the choke, it was right there. That was eight other than the one little micro, just at the end, we just needed that jump and that's a 29. So let me give you some insight. I'm hoping to get to the part where I have to climb up slowly at before or at 15 seconds exactly. Like this one is a run, this one's a run. Too slow coming out the gate and a bad midsection. Midsection, come on. An okay midsection, a bad landing on the trip. Oh, no, it was too bad of a midsection though, damn it. Whoops. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I wonder how much time I've lost to just that dance cut scene. Oh my God, I cleaned it up by another millisecond, but I can get it, it's like I've seen it though. I've been going too fast. I need to slow it down, take a breath. And where am I now? I only cleaned it up by like one millisecond, 28. I just want to stop 30. It's just my pride, okay? I just need this, I need this so bad. I lowered it by 0.001. I really thought that might've been the 29, but I got a bad section and a bad beginning. Okay, if I don't get it in three more tries, then I'm just not gonna get it today. So let's really break it down and just try this. Okay, first attempt. Okay, smooth intro. Dang. Oh my God, you hate to see a run die there. Okay, second try. It's just my hands hurt so much, I can't possibly go more than this. Is that quitter talk? Yes, and I love to quit on things. Oh no! Okay, third attempt, third attempt, third attempt, third attempt. Three, three, three, three. Just end it here, end it proud. No matter what happens, be proud. We've done a lot. Oh my God, it's clean. Okay, one more, let's fang. Final, final for real edition. It's over, and they're off. We're gonna start a late slide cancel there. Oh my God, that was unironically the cleanest opening so far. Not the cleanest one of that. It's over, I can't do it. I don't even care. It's been like an hour and 50 minutes. Doritos Crash Course has absorbed my life again. I can't let it happen. I have to end it here. I have to pry myself away from Doritos Crash Course. If anybody else can beat this 30 second score, please send me a video of how you did it. Please, I need to beat this score. Please, please, what am I doing? Nobody's watching this video. But if you are, like and subscribe. Goodbye.