 WBBM FM Chicago The makers of Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum invite you to enjoy life life with Luigi a comedy show created by Sai Howard directed by Mack Benhoff and starring at celebrated actor. Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as Pasquale Friends the makers of Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment and you know Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spearman whether you're working, shopping, listening to your radio or doing just about anything. Wrigley's Spearman gum tastes good. It's refreshing and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. Now Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. In your last letter you want to know if American girls are really so beautiful. Well mama me all I'm going to say if a Columbus knew what I know he would have discovered American 1941. I'm in a 14 and 91. For the last week I had a date with a summer girl somebody's introduced me over the telephone. In America this is called a blind date. This means you don't know how a girl looks if she don't know how you're looking if you both don't like your looks you go out the body you don't look at each other. Anyway I went to this girl's house and she's yelled down from upstairs. Just a second Luigi I'm going to put on my face and zip up on my back. Mama me I'm going to talk to her for sure that girl would have come down in three pieces. Then I'm going to find out that put on your face it means the girl puts on a lipstick, a rouge, a powder, a mascara and something that's called eye shadows. I'm not sure why they do this but but it's supposed to make the girl look like she's a forgot to go to sleep for a whole week. Well I had a good time but nobody's I have a worse time than my countryman Pasquale after he's found out. Mama me you know however since he's brought to me to America he's trying to push his a fat daughter or son of me and I'm pushing right back on him. Well now Pasquale, Pasquale is a matter than ever and right now as I'm looking at this spaghetti restaurant I can see Pasquale in a rosa with a better head. Rosa? Yes Papa. I don't know what's it going to be with you. 29 years old you're still a bachelor. Don't you want to have a husband a home with some responsibility? Rosa put down a comic book and listen to me. Yes Papa. What's the word Luigi did you see him yet today? No Papa. Did you see him yesterday? No Papa. No Papa hello Papa. Is it possible for you to say yes Papa? No Papa. I mean yes. Look what happened Sunday night when I talked Luigi into taking you for a walk in a park? We walked Papa. That's all you did was a walk I suppose. Well I wanted to sit on the bench Luigi wanted to keep walking. So? So I sat on the bench Luigi kept walking. I ran after him then we went win the shopper. Then what happened? I stopped in front of a jewelry store and I hinted. I said Luigi it's leap year. And what did he say? That a smart Alex. Then what happened? Then he bought me some. And did you kiss him a good night? No Papa. Why not? I was still eating a hot dog. Also what am I going to do with you? Don't you know anything about a husband and a catcher? Do I got to go out of personally and tie Luigi up the hands of the puts and hand him over to you? Sure. Maybe you want I should go out and marry Luigi myself and then sign him over to you after the wedding. What's so funny? I have for my daughter so you shouldn't hear your Papa cry. I'm sorry Papa. That's alright my baby. It's none of your fault if I got to give you big appetite. Gee you may be hungry. Oh gross. I'm going to go next door have a little talk with that stubborn donkey. Meanwhile remember this. 1952 was a leap year. My plan is you should stay with Luigi every minute this year. But Papa. Don't a Papa me. Papa the question. But Papa. Luigi works my day and he goes to school by night. When can I see him? He lunches a wedding. He's with shorts and a doggy chest. Then I walk with the school a wedding. He walks with Clancy the cop. Well meet him after school. He comes home with his friends. Oh that a pups quick he's got his own eye and a curtain. Well we're going to find us somewhere to get you close to him. If you watch the Star Wars I going to have a little talk with this boy. Yes Papa. Yes Papa yes. Now let me see I got a plan in my strategy. Luigi my friend. Hello Luigi. Hello hello. Hello Pascalea. He's a nice day huh. Beautiful. Business is a pretty good for me lately Pascalea. Good. Good. What's new with you. Oh not to the same old stuff the same old grinds. And how's the Russia. Russia. Who's that. Oh Pascalea stop. You know she's your daughter. Oh yes. Since she got married I don't see her so much. Russia's married to who. The exes of your kugats. Good. Stop playing it's so dumb you know she's a savior and a self only for you. Pascalea there's plenty of other fellas in the Chicago. Why you want to I should have a Russia. For three reasons. One you got to go to character. Two you come from a good family. Three nobody else wants her. Oh don't say that Pascalea. Russia's a very good girl. She's got a sweet face and her shepherds are going to be beautiful. Ever she's ever lost a two three hundred pounds. Would you would you stop talking like a waitlifter. Believe me you would have never been happy with a skinny little wife. All the same Pascalea. I'm a once a promise myself. I'm never going to marry no girl that I can't lift up. All right. Marry Rosa I buy you a Derek. I never heard of such a crazy thought. Here but a Pascalea and anyway without the money. Oh money again with the money. Luigi don't you know the man of you Marry Rosa Truman. Declare her a dependent. Now this means the government sends you six hundred dollars a cash. Every year in a taxes. Six hundred. Sure and if you've got a ten kids with her. Right away the government sends you six thousand dollars a year. And if you keep on having the kids the treasurer is going to open up with the treasurer and say go ahead Luigi help yourself. Well what do you say little banana. Pascalea don't rush me into a quicker wedding. What a quick look Luigi you say yes I promise you are going to let you walk down that middle aisle as a slow as you want. Pascalea I'm sorry but but I'm going to go to my night school. School school why don't you be a good boy quit school and start to hang around Rosa a little more. You'll be surprised that girls are going to grow out of you like a beautiful flower on a pot. Pascalea keep you pot. I'm not going to quit tonight. All right but now wait Luigi we're going to compromise a Saturday you don't go to school so here take these are two tickets. Oh what are they for the past three passes to the movies. It's a nice sad love story Luigi. But Pascalea I like the funny ones. All right so while everybody else cries you laugh. Pascalea I don't know if I can go this Saturday you see I I'm a promise of my night school of friends if a day was a going into the planetarium I was a going to. Planet why do you want to see plants of all. Oh come on come on Luigi start the new year off right. Take Rosa to the movies get to know her better. Well I'm going to see Pascalea if my friends are going to go to the planetarium. Will you forget the sanitarium please. Hello let's stop the play in cats and a mouse this Saturday you take it a Rosa to the movies or else. Oh that's why the Pascalea my rent is all the paid up and you can't throw me out of the antique. No but I could raise you rent. All right so I'm going to pay. From a fifty dollars a month to five hundred dollars a month. Five hundred dollars a month. Yes and you better start hanging around Rosa this year Luigi Pascalea is a no going to die an old man. All right attention class please. I'll call the roll. Mr. Basko here Mr. Howard here Mr. Olson. Mr. Schultz. Don't give us the shit. Lafayette we are here. You know me my heart is pumping like a discovered oil. Mr. Schultz that's the second time this week you've come late to class. What's your excuse this time. Oh well you see me supporting. My wife just had it. No she didn't. The streetcar broke down. I stopped to help a old lady. All right I ain't got no excuse. Give me the gas chamber and let's get on with the lesson. All right Mr. Schultz there's another late mark against you and another one for unnecessary disturbance. Looks like Ms. Spaulding woke up this morning on the wrong side of the desk. Don't try that again Mr. Schultz. Mr. Basko what are you whispering to everyone. I'm not going to Ms. Spaulding. Come now speak up. Well I was just asking Howard which if he wants to come would be to the planetarium this is Saturday night. Mr. Basko asked Mr. Howard that question after class. Now my first question for tonight's lecture. Besides Ms. Spaulding like I was telling Luigi Saturdays I got to go see my mother-in-law. It's a bad habit I started just after I got married. I didn't ask you Mr. Howard. The first question. I couldn't go this Saturday because I am taking Olga to a real interesting lecture. By Dr. Hugo Kunitz. He is speaking on the sociological significance of economic cycles as reflected in the mores and customs of our national groups. Is that the title or the lecture at that? Tell us what's happened to this class. A demerit each for you Mr. Olsen and Mr. Horowitz and Mr. Basko. Well in that case I'll help myself to one too. Luigi this Saturday my wife and I got to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Stop it this instant all of you. Please Ms. Spaulding I'm going to take all the blame but it's because I've got a big problem. Mr. Basko just what is your problem? Mr. Basko is a man up his mind. I got to see more of Rosa in 1952. So this is Saturday. He wants I should have started by taking her to the movies. Well I'm tired of hearing about that problem. Now either you get down to work or you can leave. Now the first question. Luigi why don't you tell Basko you have a headache that night. No, no, no. Last time I had a call he was sent in Rosa's shoes and massage her my back is so hard that three days after the call it was a better I still couldn't get out of bed. All right now for the last time. I'm sorry Ms. Spaulding. I'm sorry. We all are. All right. Now the question is. Well what's the matter Ms. Spaulding? You interrupted me so much I forgot the question. All right. I got to know that Saturday night. So what's about it? So what's not about it? So you're taking Rosa? No, Basko. This is American and you can't make another American to do what he doesn't want to. What's the second, Mr. Half a Citizen? Half a Citizen, sir. That's right. The one-half is still in Italy. One-half is in America. So what about it then? So you're only half a safe. Now you're listening to me so I don't have to start no trouble, Mr. No Citizen of Papers. In the night, day in the 52, you've got to see more of Rosa. That's quite it. Rosa weighs at 250 pounds and more of her is impossible to see. So why is the crackers like that? I'm going to find you up in the Housagal. Now what do you say? You go to the movies or no? All right, the Pascuali, I go. What the picture am I going to see? Oh, it's a very good picture, Luigi. They say it's going to get an Oscar. All right, let the Oscar take a rose. No, Luigi, you take a rose. And the picture is a debt of a salesman. I'm afraid a debt of a salesman is going to be debt of a Luigi. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a little suggestion about your success and popularity. Make it a regular custom to chew Wrigley's Spearmint gum, at least a few sticks every day. You see, regular daily chewing is an easy, pleasant way to help keep your teeth clean and bright, your smile attractive. Then, too, chewing Wrigley's Spearmint freshens your mouth and helps keep your breath sweet. So you naturally feel more sure of yourself at work and in your social activities. Yes, friends, bright active teeth and mouth freshness are important to all of us. That's why we say, make it a regular custom to chew refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearmint gum, at least a few sticks every day. You'll enjoy it, and it may be a real aid to your success and popularity. Now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother in Italy. Well, I'm here tonight, so tonight I'm going to take a rose to the movies. And just before, just to make sure, I'm going to forget that Pasquale is a put-a-note under my door. I'm opening it up, and it's one of his Pasquale's poems. Any, many, many more to the movies you must go. If you don't show up by 8 o'clock, there's a boat to Italy down by the dock. Luigi, my fellow boob. Hello. Hello. Hello. You look like a poopy dog greeting the dog catcher. And what's with Pasquale? Is he still in this thing? It's a good one. It's Pasquale's a poem he just sent to me. Pasquale poem? All right. Pasquale, the Italian Nick Kenny. Luigi, why don't you answer him back with a Pasquale poem? Answer him back? Sure. Listen to this. Dear Pasquale, your daughter is Charlie, and I'll take her to the movie when I go off my trolley. Sure, sir. You're just crazy. That's right. I hate to see you looking so nervous. Oh, man, I'm nervous. No, you're not nervous. Only you got to look on your face like a sardine and somebody opening up the can. Yeah, you're right. It's because I don't like one of Pasquale. He said, give me orders. And I'm afraid not to do what he's asking me to do. I know just how you feel. It'll be nice. But put yourself in Pasquale's place. He feels that he put up the money to bring you to America. You should show a little appreciation once in a while. Then he should say, you think I'm wrong. I didn't say that, Luigi. Yeah, but somebody should say, you think I'm wrong. Luigi, look. I feel like the governor refusing a condemned man a pardon. Luigi, you shouldn't ask me for advice. You got to ask your own heart. After all, he's not asking you to marry the girl. He just wants you to take her to the movie. Yeah, but it's sure you don't know Pasquale. He's going to start the movie every Saturday night. Then he's going to get it to make it a nicer meal for me. Then he's going to make a watch up on my clothes and sew the socks and the shirts. Even if she doesn't know that, I marry her myself. Rosa, get ready, Luigi, just as serious. Who is it? Oh, is it just taking you to the movies? Goodie, I'll pack up some sandwiches. They're not about food. Now look, Rosa, we're really going to charm him. You put on your new dress, comb your hair up, and to make you smell especially good, I'm going to lend you my aftershave lotion. Oh. Now listen to me, Rosa. When you sit down and you see the dough and waste of no time, let Luigi hold your hand. Which hand? Any hand. But Papa, corn. Oh, I told you, forget about eating. A camel can go eight days without water. See if you can go three hours without popcorn. All right, Papa. What else should I do? Now, when the movie gets a nice and a sad, you lean over and you lay your head on a Luigi's shoulder. But Papa, how will Luigi see the picture? Who cares? Look, when the play is on and you see the big love scene, that's so when you get your biggest chance, you see? Now, here's what I want you to do. You lean over and you whisper to him, Luigi, I like you. You like me. Let's go out and get him married tonight. Papa, can't we wait till the picture's over? Look, Rosa, whenever you ain't sure what to do, just figure things out with your own common sense. Yes, Papa. Then do the opposite. I'm sorry. That's all right, my baby. I good luck with my daughter and... and... And what? Happy leap year. Here you are, sir. Two seats. All right, thank you, Mr. Asher. Oh, working here. Oh, goody, Luigi. Both seats are together. Yeah. Now I'm going to find the one for me. Quiet, please. Luigi, I can get into this seat. All right. What do you know dinner for everybody? Rosa, hold up with the photo for later. Let's watch the picture. All right. Audrey, darling, we can't go on this way. Let's tell Herbert and get it over with. No, Mike, we must have patience, honey. Oh, darling, I love you so. And I love you, sweetheart, so, so much. Luigi, sleep here. You want to get married? Rosa, please. Who, me? Yeah, you. Waiting, that's killing me. It's been hard on both of us, dear. Audrey, Angel, let me hold you close. Then I, Rosa. Rosa, please, please. Who, me? Yeah. Stand in my seat, please. Oh, sure, Steny. Say, you're going in the back for candy, huh? No, ice cream. Oh, good. Will you bring me back two bars? All right. Luigi, you want two bars, too? No, no, no, no, Rosa. But the picture only started, Luigi. You're going to get hungry. And maybe later, Rosa. I got the money, Luigi. No, no, look at the picture, Rosa. I got the ice cream. I got it, I got it. Here, little boy, here's a, here's a 10 cents. Four ice creams is 40 cents, mister. Oh, 40, 40 cents, huh? Bring them back a two for 20 cents, sir. And here's 20 cents more for two candy bars. All right, lady. Make sure they got nuts. All right. Say, do you think you could carry some popcorn, too, Steny? Lady, you want ice cream? Please, please, please. Keep it quiet, I want to look at the picture. Audrey, let's run away. Tonight, my darling. No, honey, they would only bring us back. But it's no good this way, baby. It's no good. My sweetheart, let's not rush things. Oh, Audrey, Audrey, I feel I'm going out of my mind. Hush, baby. Here, put your head on my shoulder. There, how's that? Luigi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, what, what? I, I want to tell you something. What, what, what is it? My television set has a big bloke tonight. Yes, yes, look, look at a beautiful girl on the television, huh? Wait, Rosa, please, don't talk too much. Here, lady, the popcorn. Oh, thank you, Steny. Here, have one for yourself. Thanks. Not the whole bag, one popcorn. And the ice cream. Oh, where's the ice cream? I haven't got it. Gee, it must have slapped all over someone's lap. Huh? How about if somebody's a... Well, is it not the mind? Russia is yours? No. Mr. Oh, no. Come on, stop your pride. Look, Rosa, what's a half and a half? And that's all that don't cry over spilled milk. Fabulous. You don't have to, Rosa. He's now going to be closer to you than he ever was. He will. Yes, while you was in the movies, I figured out a scheme where Luigi's got to see you every day in the week. Can you guess how, my daughter? No. Neither will he. This is a Pasquale's secret weapon. How do you, Luigi, tell us the rest before Miss Folding comes in? Well, then we went out to the movies and I decided I met up with my mind. I just met up with my mind then? No, no matter what's going to happen to me, I'm not going to see Rosa any more this year. I don't know Luigi. When that Pasquale starts out on a war against you, he becomes the desert fox of Chicago. Here comes the teacher. Good evening, class. Good evening, Miss Folding. Class, I was delayed because I came from the principal's office. A new student is joining our class tonight. Well, who's the new student, Miss Folding? Who you think? Well, Mamma Mia Pasquale is a figure out the perfect crime. He's a guy roasting in my night school class and I'm going to see every night in a week. Mamma Mia, I was used to hope that 1952 would be a big year for me. More than 250 pounds a big. I've never dreamed about it. Son, Luigi Vasco, little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Fairman chewing gum hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi and they want to remind you that you can enjoy the comfort and satisfaction of chewing delicious Wrigley's Spearmint gum just about any time and any place. Chew a stick whenever you feel tense or need a refreshing little lift. Enjoy Wrigley's Spearmint on the job, in your home, and when you're on the go. It always tastes good and the smooth, pleasant chewing helps keep you feeling at ease and satisfied. So slip a package of refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearmint gum into your purse or pocket. Keep some handy all the time and enjoy it often as millions of people do. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint chewing gum invite you to be sure to listen next week at the same time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mamabasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production. Pat Burton is associate producer. The script is written by Mack Benoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mr. Benoff. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as the squalette. Conch Conn Reed is short. Jody Gilbert is Rosa, Mary Schiff is Miss Faulding. Joe Porte is Horowitz and Ken Keter is Olsen. Music on the direction of Lud Blustin. Be sure to tune in next week and hear what happens when Rosa attends Luigi's night school class. This is Charles Lyon. This is the CBS Radio Network. 8.30 p.m. time for a Canadian ace beer.