 the narcissists trick or treat hello survivors happy halloween to all of you i hope you all enjoy the festivities of this season whether you are going to a halloween party or trick or treat in i hope you all enjoy yourselves and have a good time it's getting colder out there depending on where you are this is the time of year where the narcissist needs someone to cuddle up too so you could say that the narcissist will be doing their own kind of trick or treat in they are going to be trick or treating on you but by now you should know how it goes with them they might give you a treat in the beginning but it's always going to be followed up with the trick where they deceive you the treat is just to lure you in and it's never really what you want anyway but just know that this is the time of year when the narcissist is looking for someone to cuddle they cannot be alone they need constant attention and validation they need someone to abuse and manipulate you might feel tempted to take them back it's getting cold and maybe you feel like you need someone to warm you up but listen cuddling with the narcissist is essentially the same thing as cuddling a teddy bear or a pillow they are like zombies dead inside and with no sense of direction they are also energy vampires they drain all of your energy and leave you feeling lifeless and disorientated just like them you are going to have nights where you are alone and remembering how good their cuddles or kisses were all those times when you were laying in bed together sweating heart pounding adrenaline pumping typically you are going to remember those moments because they were exciting it released the oxytocin hormone and dopamine neurotransmitter giving you a sense of reward you might be craving more of this in your life and believe me that is perfectly natural but whenever you start thinking about this stuff stop yourself don't let your reminiscing cloud your judgment you know those exciting moments were rare and they came with an endless amount of abuse manipulation and reality distortion so ask yourself is it really worth the headache the stress the anxiety and depression you think they did you bad the first time believe me it only gets worse you are basically making a trade for cuddles and sex with your sanity self-esteem self-worth self-respect boundaries your sense of direction and productivity if you take them back you are asking to be abused and to have your reality distorted and your understanding manipulated because that's all they are going to do and the narcissist cannot give you real intimacy anyway they cannot empathize or understand you they cannot have a deep emotional connection or be emotionally vulnerable with you so having good sex with the narcissist is not going to happen I have read some stories where victims claim that the narcissist was amazing in bed but the truth is we lie to ourselves when we are having sex with them just as we lie to ourselves during the love bombing phase we told ourselves that they were these amazing people we overlook the red flags and their true manipulative and abusive nature and we did the exact same thing during sex we built up this fantasy of them being these amazing lovers because that's what we wanted them to be they mirrored us and appealed to our own ideals in bed but in reality we were just pleasuring ourselves sure they may have been in our proximity but we were still just pleasuring ourselves just as we did in any other aspect of the relationship with the narcissist there is no such thing as good sex or intimacy with the narcissist they are self-absorbed they don't even consider you they only care about themselves and what they can get out of this situation which is why you need to forget about them you need to heal yourself and practice becoming self-love abundant so that you can attract someone empathic and emotionally healthy like yourself someone who will consider you someone who will give to you someone who is capable of being real and genuine with you without all of the tricks you would usually expect from the narcissist leave the narcissist a trick or treat someone else when you truly accept and understand that they have no capabilities of giving you what you want that's when you are able to free yourself and give yourself the closure you need when you truly accept and understand that it was all a game and a fantasy that they made you believe in that is when it becomes easy to move on you have to accept that you do not need them in your life they have nothing real to offer you they can never live up to your expectations they can only create an illusion as though they are something great and then once you see through that they want nothing to do with you so avoid the narc zombies and engy vampires focus on your own healing and practice becoming self-love abundant give yourself the love happiness and fulfillment you desire and do not fall for the narcissist trick or treat stay safe and enjoy the festivities talk to you soon