 It was during my finals week and I was studying and again like I had no intention of my heart at that point. I was conscious that it was Ramadan and I knew that the Muslims of the world were fasting but I was just living my life doing my college thing and I was sitting in the library and I was like why don't I just put on some Quran like not there was no real reason that I decided to do that but I put on a YouTube video and it was Surah Taha and I don't know if I'm going to get this 100% correctly but like the first few lines are like essentially communicating to the Prophet that like the Quran was not sent down to you to cause you distress and it is only reminder for those who are conscious or who fear Allah and you know that the God is the creator of the heaven and the earth and that yeah he didn't he didn't send this this this book of guidance down to make our lives difficult or to scare us he he sent this down as a guidance as a mercy to us and I remember sitting there in the library and being like wait I I fear Allah and this is like this book was not sent down to like ruin my life or make my life difficult like this but this applies to me I remember that exact moment and I think it was that point and then I was like you know I think I'm ready for it I think I'm ready to take shahda I think because um I think up until that point I think thanks in large part to the western media we have this image of like Assad being this like really scary thing um and obviously I think that Islamophobia can really like make its way into your brain um and also you know if you it it's just hard it's it's foreign it's a really big commitment especially being you know young person um so I think that yeah just those those first few lines of Sahaja reminding me that this is this is not supposed to be a thing that burdens me or scares me this is this is a mercy um for for those who who have that mindfulness of God and who seek that closeness to God um yeah that that probably is where