 Hey everyone welcome back. I wonder if you can all like do me a favor and just take in a deep breath for for yourselves. And exhale. And let's take another deep breath for the nation. And then one more breath for black lives matter and all those affected by police brutality. And I'm just going to hand this over I don't have much to say other than, you know, I'll probably reiterate what I said last week which is I hope you are all doing well and that you're safe and healthy and I am certainly thinking of all of you and I really appreciate you being here that I know that your time is valuable. But that you're here and that you're here to support your craft and, and, and in a way this is a an opportunity for self care and to, to, to share what your thoughts are so I'm really happy to have someone I really really care about and whom I've worked with in the past. She was an actor on my play last summer at New Harmony. And I, you know, Diana, Diana was one of the first folks I wanted to have on my project so I'm really glad she's returning and so the other verb on. Thank you for coming floors yours. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here with everybody today in community I see some gorgeous gorgeous faces that I know and that I don't know and I just want to welcome you all here into the space. Again in community. So what I'd like to do first. There's a few of us who are not. Let me see where to put it may see how many people. Okay, so what I'd like to do first, just because I want us all to unmute our mics when a when I give you the signal and just maybe two sentences that you want to put out into the world if you see somebody you love say hello. If you want to say something that you've been holding in then you want to say it in public say it. So just to two or three sentences and then we'll come back and okay unmute everybody unmute and say what you want to say I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy to be here. Birthday present. It was just lifted off my shoulders. Happy to be here. Thank you. Thank you. So we're going to just start with a quick writing prompt. We're going to write for about five minutes, very quick, just to kind of get our juices flowing and then I'd love to share out. So I know that can be a little tricky with the raising hand so if you know how to do that do that if not do this or just a tug on my virtual sleep will figure out how to get you sharing out okay. So the prompt for today. I'm going to put it in the chat for you. I've got two of them that are things that I have just heard over the past couple of days that I thought were kind of interesting. So, they are this, and you can either do one do both do whatever you want it can be dramatic it can be just whatever you want to write there's no no restrictions is right what you want to write. The first one is you are at the table and you do not have a seat, your lunch. That's the first one. I'll repeat that. If you are at the table and you do not have a seat, your lunch. Or, or an and mirrors windows and sliding glass doors. And everybody just right for five and we'll be back just keep an ear out for the alarm. So that's us so go ahead and take your time. Take your time finishing up whatever you're working on you don't have we don't have to be super binary and on the moment just finish up what you're doing I'll just talk a little bit. So, one of the things that I really like about teaching these classes, especially right now is I really like hearing from you so that's my offer that if you want to read what you wrote, you're very welcome to read what you wrote I invite it. So, if you know how to raise your hand raise your hand if you're ready and if I'll I see there's two screens and I'll try to catch you so just make it really clear if you want to read and I'd love to hear what you got for me. Make things these things easy if you'd like to raise your hand that is great but I have also made it so that anybody can unmute yourself so just go ahead and make sure that you're muted while other people are talking and when one person finishes and the next person can turn on their, turn on their mic someone to go When mirrors windows and sliding glass doors. That's the house. That's this nightmare abode everywhere an illusion a reminder of fragility, a reflection of time that has become my body and face in this middle age, or more like past the middle age of this life. She tries to open the window. She covers the mirror painted opaque with mustard lipstick the feathers from a ripped, ripped pillow anything at her disposal. She tries to open the sliding glass door it is stuck. Break the fucking glass. No. Why not. I have been a broken call someone. There is no one left. Glass echoes, breathe in the air feel the smooth cool relief of the glass. Yes, that's it approach it. Bring your palms to the glass imprint yourself, your hands, your body, your nodes, look, look, see that you're not trapped, looking out but you are free on the outside, looking in. Thank you, Monica. Who wants to go next. Yeah, I worked off of if you are at the table and you do not have a seat your lunch. The ceiling is low. It's above my head but lower. I tilt my head back stand on my tip toes. It's a second ceiling above it, the sky. What are they doing on top of the ceiling. Are they dancing on the clouds. Can they splash in the rain. Do rainbow sit in the palm of your hand. I want to find out. If I jump my nose will smash into it. If I asked to be about to be invited. I'm a pest. Little girls are meant to dance on the ceiling. Little girls aren't meant to dance on the ceiling. Then again, ceilings are meant to be broken. I will destroy the legs of the ceiling. Little girls with little legs, sturdier than the legs of your fragile ceiling. Thank you, Alexis. Thank you. See, Herbert raised his hand in the chat. Hi, do you hear me. Yeah, yeah. I don't have a seat at the table. I said, I don't have a seat at the table. First of all, you knew I was coming. So why isn't there a seat at the table. But like the great Shirley Chisholm said, if there's not a seat at the table, bring a folding chair. So I brought my goddamn folding chair. Make room for me man. I have a seat at the table now. More bread please. These folks left me no bread. And I would like some bread on butter. Now, what is the topic of discussion today? I'll wait. Beautiful. I think that Diana Marie next in the chat. I worked off of mirrors, mirrors, windows and sliding glass doors. Right. An opening a new beginning a crack, a crack that has been growing a crack that is spreading threading through our very existence. A new reality, a choice to survive or to thrive, a crack, an opening, a widening of perspective of minds trying to stay alive, alive, alive wire a sizzling a rumbling and explosion explosion of truth and explosion of consciousness, a new world order, a realness of consciousness, a standing in the I'm knowing knowing that this doesn't feel right, knowing that this is wrong strong and wrong strong arm strong arm of justice, strong arm of peace strong arm twisted behind our backs, broken backs hard working backs, trying to live backs breathe through your back, a stab in the back. Thank you. Thank you. Marcia you're unmuted. Thanks. I did the first prompt. Okay, a lot of veggies delicacy. I'm privy to the makings. Before I was at the table slices of meat trimmed. And now I see hungry eyes staring me down. I've been prepped for consumption. And I know what I've been told to wait to be nourishment for others. This is my purpose. I look that I hop off the table I roll I pop I'm crunching the grass on my way to freedom, my future on the horizon, a new found glory. Yeah, thank you Marcia. Thank you. Okay, Andy. Andy you're unmuted. Oh my God my heart is racing I love this so much. Um, I did the mirrors glass sliding doors. I'm trying to write without going back and editing senselessly, writing something more than wanting the mirror of representation to be better, but that's something everyone has heard and everyone has said time and time again, but isn't that the problem. Perhaps it's just because I got off a department wide zoom call about how our faculty has continually failed us so it's always on my mind. The self proclamation of being a warrior of representation is a false God. This God is worse than malicious she is absent. With all her touted strength she is as fragile as the floor length mirror she claims to be the crack started years ago before my time. Before yours and before the life of the next person who comes to your mind. They snaked up her spotless pants suit but she went to the tailors for a quick patch up. When my friends look in the mirror they see nothing expected of vampires for sure but my friends carry no such burden or villainy. I've seen them bleed, and I've seen the sun kiss their arms and call them her own and the love of her life. And that's when time went on. Thank you. Thank you. Lovely. Thank you Viviana. Hello. Yeah. So I heard the two prompts together and I just immediately pictured this Cuban woman's living room that I walked into like a year ago and I just like made a little scene off of it. So mine's really different. Anyway. Mommy makes lunchtime in the parlor. It's a Cuban parlor but a Cuban rich person parlor the kind that makes my friend Gemma uncomfortable. Mirror walls with bronze ish gilding candle holders everywhere and I've been hanging Maria white and pink roses some of them dried and rosaries hanging everywhere. Lunchtime is when mommy gets to perform the white porcelain with green leaves on it and utensils with metal handles as intricate as the swirling brand bark patterns on the outsides of trees. Gemma is scared of all of it. It don't matter that the food served as toast on this and black beans with bits of chorizo in it and yucca and rice and pork chops soaked in brown sauce and glazed red onions. I don't know something about it just feels wrong she'll say on the parkside herb, but maybe that's just rich people anyways. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, I think. We have Marilo next. Hi. I use the prompt. If you're at the table and you do not have a seat your lunch. I'd like to take this time to welcome you all here today. Sorry, what did you say. Oh yes, I might remind you all that lunch today is being sponsored by KPMG. Your lunch is comprised of two things, honor and blood. What do these things mean to you. When seated at the table, you are to have your honor and feel your blood. Your blood is something that comes from generations and generations of ancestors. Who are my ancestors. This is bullshit. You don't know what you're talking about. Sit at the table and you don't have your lunch. What is, what is it you want. What is it about you about time. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you everybody for sharing. Does anybody else want to share before we, or if you don't want to share what you wrote you want to tell me a little bit about how that felt that's also something I'd love to hear as well. Who's writing right now. Just, you can just raise your hands. Who's actually actively working on something and who's feeling completely stuck and uninspired and kind of not able to do anything. I see Amanda has raised her hand. Where are you Amanda. Amanda, if you can get there before I do go ahead and unmute yourself. Just about the second one, the feeling completely stuck and uninspired. I feel uninspired for say it's just that one in the past week, especially it's just been very difficult to have anything else on my mind besides the protests and like do anything. And so I'm feeling stuck as a person, not only just as a, as a, as an artist, like that was already something that I was trying to figure out with quarantine and isolation and all summer plans being canceled. I'm an undergraduate student. So like I had, you know, whatever the typical really active crazy summer plan and then that all disappeared rightfully so, but yeah, it's just been very. I don't say stagnant stagnant it's not the right word because it's like it's like when you shake up the Coca Cola bottle and it's all, you know, buzzing and waiting for that explosion moment. But yeah, writing is hard right now. I hear you. I hear you I hear you and I just want to offer a bit of advice that I got that sort of has helped me. No, because I have to some of the things I have to write because somebody needs something and it's on a deadline but like my the projects that are like the ones that are close to my heart I'm finding very difficult right now. And a mentor offered to me that we are storytellers right, and we are in a gathering moment. This is such a moment we are living a moment, especially those of us who are younger maybe or although or maybe not I don't know I don't know your lived because we are storytellers who gather. Perhaps it's okay for this to be a moment of listening of really active listening and just not feeling the pressure to produce all the time which I think is really heavy for us especially especially for this group perhaps because we're trying to establish ourselves in this society and we're we're working on really breaking through this glass ceiling this barrier that we've that has always been imposed on us. You know talking today Alexis was in the group with some real bit that animals, talking about how things, you know, we keep talking about how things are changing how things are changing but I've been at this 30 years maybe I don't know how much is it really changed to be a honestly, are we we're still working in white institutions we're still working as marginalized people, we're still having to be called diverse people when in fact, we're not a diverse, what's a diverse is that even how why are they using that as a noun, you know, it's a really interesting moment. That's part what's one of the reasons one of the things I wanted to talk about is just, you know, give yourself a break. I think these little these workshops are wonderful and I hold them every week and I just encourage people always saying to me I'm really sorry I didn't write my pages this week. And I'm like, Okay, that's totally cool what do you want to talk about. Totally fine I mean writing is also talking cogitating. This is our, for some of my colleagues this is supposed to be our convening season, where we meet each other and we sit and we break bread and we talk and for artists, especially writers, who we are isolated today. These are the moments of community that I think we are missing and we have we have to be allowed to mourn that as well. Right, so my only thing, just be kind, be kind to each other, and to yourselves. And I want to share Amanda has put in the chat that she I run a campus Latinx theater group so I'm channeling the outrage into trying to work to create equity there, even if I can't personally personally contribute to our canon. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah. So. All right, so we're talking so we're in a moment right we're in this moment of change of transition. So what can we do. Right, that's a big question. I, I've been really interested in this question and I would love to hear some of your answers for it too. I feel like we're in a moment where we can grab hold of the narrative ourselves as artists, because we were sort of on an equal footing, right, at the moment, the big institutions don't know what the hell they're doing they they have some of them have really great artists like Herbert like like who are helping them but some of them are literally stuck in I don't know what to do that won't piss off my subscribers and I don't know what to do that because virtual isn't live theater and I don't know what to do. And like I said this afternoon, it doesn't matter. Make mistakes. Be a mess, be a disaster let that zoom reading suck I mean it's really okay because we're discovering new forms, right. Like when the revolution came through for actors and you could, there was an equality for a moment of being able to submit your picture everywhere because they couldn't figure out how to get you out of the breakdown services like everybody got the notifications for a while and it was so equitable, like you got into all kinds of casting calls because it was it was open everything was open. That's where we are now as creators. They haven't locked this out because they can't even figure out how to open this door, like, they don't have a key to this, but we do we're here, right. So, my thing as a writer and a writing teacher is just allow the mess. Allow the crap, allow it to be terrible, let go of the need to be perfect, let go of it, and it will serve you so well because I mean we all we all feel like oh that was awful I wish that hadn't gone out into the world yes I feel that I hold that I know that. But, but this, I think, really just pushing yourself beyond the feelings of comfort, comfort, just pushing a little bit beyond that is going to serve you in this particular moment, and you have colleagues who will hold you. There are people here you can look all around at this particular group these people will hold you they will help you they will talk to you you know. Anyway, so that's that's something that's really important to me and also important to me is to hear your voices. People are making videos people are going on Instagram and reading monologues they've written people are forming collectives where they're doing Facebook groups. All of that people are joining and talking and doing so again I want to encourage that as well. So I'm open if anybody wants to pop in with anything we'd like to say. Yeah, I like this. Amanda thank you so much for sharing, I really identify with a lot of the things that you've said I'm also undergraduate. I recently came back from NTI for their playwriting semester and I came home with like pages I was ready I wanted to put everything on stage. And I came back during quarantine and thought wow Fresno love what you've done with the place some change. And it felt like there was just this big pause on on the momentum I felt that was happening especially for summer. That's when all of us artists have so much time and almost resources because everyone's out of school. One of the positive things that I've been able to look at this has been times the commodity of artists. And so I can sit on my laptop and write two pages one day, or maybe write five pages the next day, or maybe go the next, the day after that and delete everything because I want to take time to edit. And it's really allowed me to feel like there isn't a rush and a pressure to produce, but to really sit and be with my work and create something that's going to make me happy for the day. It's going to make me happy furthering the project. And it's also, it's time to get scrappy and like creating with whatever we have at our disposal. I started making some videos and I was stubborn and was not going to buy a tripod. So I just stacked like a bunch of books and use a stuffed animal for focus. It's, it's all about just finding those resources. And also one more thing and I'll stop talking. I have finding those other artists that are just itching to work. They're just itching to do reading and they're itching to like just read your pages or even someone who just wants to grammatically look over pages or just be a sounding board to bounce ideas off of. I think that those artists are the ones that are going to come out of this because this will end that are going to come out of this still having that spark and even burning brighter. Connect with each other in the chat if somebody says something that you know that you think is cool just connect with each other and see if they want to connect. It's time to do that too. See what you can, you can build build community with people who, you know, people who you get and who get you as well. We talked a lot about at the conference the TCG conference we talked a lot about micro aggression and how difficult it is to navigate in spaces that that are, you know, white majority and and so there is that so that sometimes you need to go back to find a group a group of people who maybe have a little bit of a more of a relationship to your reality, then what you are forced to sometimes do the performative things you sometimes have to do to exist in this world, because we all want our stuff produced. Right. I mean I know I do. I want myself produced and I want to work in those spaces I, I, I'm just being honest, I get a lot of people who are going to build our own thing we're going to do our thing yes I have done my own thing I have a Latina theater company but I want to take over those spaces. I deeply you know I want to storm that castle and I know I have cohort in here who who have stormed the castle who are storming the castle. That's okay. We don't have to be comfortable or nice or we can fit in and and one of the things that I do. I don't have as much power as some but what I try to do now that I'm getting a little better known is I try to bring people I like. I had a conversation with a literary agent who said to me just just do this before you go into the meeting, the producers meeting right down, take a list, say these are the directors, I really want to work with. These are the designers I really want to work with yes they're all Latinx women that's who I want to work with or. Yes, this is the designer. You love him you work with him I want this one no I don't want that one you know. They're there are those are the little things that you can do that you would be surprised you get in a room with all these people and you're all of a sudden like. Okay, I'll have that old white dude direct my play. Okay, awesome and then you've lost power because you got to take your power when you can get it we we you know I that's another offer I give you. And one last thing this is kind of, I'm swirling around my topics because my post it notes are all scattered. But I found myself doing something I had a live reading of a play, one of my plays a very difficult play a traumatic play. So many things came of that that that I have to examine in myself. So I'm an immigrant from Columbia, Spanish is my first language I write, I very bilingually. I try to be mindful that a lot of actors don't speak Spanish. A lot of Latinx actors, that's not their experience and so that is something I'm mindful and I found myself I had to catch myself when I was Spanish shaming somebody. I think my Spanish is pretty actually I think my Spanish is pretty shitty, because I usually use English, but I found myself thinking oh well I'd really like her accent to be better and I had to literally stop myself and say no, no do not Spanish shame people ever. I was so and I had to go back and apologize and say I'm really sorry that's so ingrained in me that somehow my Spanish isn't good enough or whatever. Speak your Spanish or don't speak your Spanish don't it's it's a that is really another politicized thing that we do to each other I think as Latinx artists that I feel we don't talk about enough. It's like, it's like some of us have accent some of us don't have accent some of us can't speak it at all some of us are fluent. But we don't exist on the same plane in the bilingual mess of ourselves I mean, not in not here, not in these spaces. So I'm interested to hear if anybody has any experiences on that particular. Okay. Hi Diana. Um, I think this is sort of similar to what you're saying, but a bit different. I'm of Brazilian origins, and I have a really hard time finding Brazilian artists in the US in theater specifically. Um, and I feel like I'm, I'm already isolated in the whiteness of the theater industry. And then I continue to feel isolated in the Latinx community, because I'm like, Oh my God, everyone here speaks Spanish like I speak my Spanish Portuguese, you know, because like it's sort of similar. And I can, I do know some Spanish, but it's not my native language it's Portuguese is my native language that's what I speak at home that's my language of love that's the language I speak to my mom with the language I pray in and like, I'm getting emotional but it is hard to feel like the outsider in the group that I'm not supposed to feel like an outsider in. And my mom and I had a conversation about I was she was like I was like mom so excited about these like Latinx and playwriting classes that I'm taking in sessions and she was like but you're not Latinx you're Brazilian. You're not Hispanic and I was like fuck then what the hell am I like who what community can I even belong to. So, um, I don't know, I hope I am welcomed and I have felt welcomed, but it is hard to ignore this other, like, I don't know, schism that I also feel. Thank you. Thank you for telling us that yeah. I think that's definitely something we don't think about thank you Giselle Viviana. I think honestly like where the problem is is that we don't have enough stories that reflect all the nuance that like, because it's not just there is language like there's, there's, there's the language issue there's also race issue like the fact that we don't all look the same that all of us look really, really white, but like, don't like, but like, don't pass as Latinx like on stage but like definitely we identify as Latinx and then there's people who are like black and then that's like a whole other thing and then like that. So like, I don't know like I encountered this problem. When I was casting for my Hurricane Maria play, because I wrote like a main character that was very similar to myself in that like, she like, like spent most of her time growing up in the US but like had family back in PR but was fluent in Spanish as a kid and then like her Spanish and like in and like I wrote a version of myself that was like a lot more insecure about Spanish than I actually am like I'm, I'm fine like I'm a Spanish tour guide at MSG like I get by. But because like we wrote it that way we ended up and like also like, like, I'm like was very emerging at the time so like we just cast whoever was available not that many people audition. And I remember casting like a very, very white passing Cuban girl and I remember that my director was like super weird about the fact that when she spoke Spanish, she just sounded like ringa. And like she tried to like go after her for that. And like she was like, like weird about casting her and I was like but like what do you want her to do. And I just, and I just feel like what we need is stories to like have those specific nuances written in like we need a Brazilian character that's weird about Spanish like we need, like, we need like white Cuban girl that doesn't know what to do. And like, I, I come across that those like every once in a while, like I think about, oh God, what was the play that went up at WP recently that was very famous that like got a lot of attention. I can't remember now, but I remember that they like wrote in like a white Republican. Huh? You're dead drug lords. Yes. And they wrote in like, like a white passing Cuban girl who had like a Republican sign that on her front lawn. Because that's real like there's like the there's like so much nuance in our community, but it's not really reflected on stage like I feel like there's just a bunch of stock characters that get thrown around. And I get frustrated even at Latin X playwrights who, who defer to the stock, I think that we need to hold ourselves accountable. I might say a controversial statement here, but I remember I, I got incensed watching the Mexican media that went up at the public because I was just like, I was so mad. And then people, and then it was so uncomfortable because most of the audience were like white people that were like, I just saw it. I saw the Latin X people. I pat myself on the back. And I was just like, I was just like literally every single Latina woman in here is a stock character and I can't handle this. Anyway, that was a rant about a completely different play. But I just, in general, like what I think we need, we need more nuanced writing and like, that's what I try to do in my playwriting like I'm just like I wish we just had like freakin human complex people on stage and like they just happen to be Latin X. Anyway, rant over. Thank you Viviana Andy. And then Alex Hernandez. Yeah. It, the whole like conversation about Spanish in particular has always been something that has hit extremely close to home as a very extremely white passing Latin X person. I'm half white, I'm half Puerto Rican. And I was one of the people who knew a little bit of Spanish as a kid and just in the environment that my personality and my interests and my community was being cultivated it just left. It wasn't important and so now it's extremely hard for me to learn the language. And I remember it was actually while working on the visit arrow at new harmony. Last year, I remember that so it was, it was during the rehearsal because I remember we were all going around the table and talking about stuff like this. And I expressed how insecure I am in my accent when speaking Spanish because I go to a very predominantly white university. And so in the theater department, you know that forever. And the show that I was most recently cast in I love it to death, and it was a new play but it was canceled because of COVID it's called in the sombras by Jordan Ramirez pocket. It's on new play exchange. I will plug it until the day I die it's a beautiful story. Right, but it was also it started as a bilingual play. That was actually taken away from her because of pushback from the university, saying these audiences aren't going to understand what's going on so she had to write a completely new version of it. But even everyone of Latinx descent in the cast. We were all kind of like performing the kind of Latinx identity that the white production board wanted to see from us. And I didn't realize how hurtful that was, until I had to live through it and my friends had to live through it. And I was able to articulate that to my white friends the ones who are like actual allies, and keep sticking by even after the fair weather allies have passed and people stop talking about it on Twitter. So yeah, just that kind of language policing within our own community and it's so good that we are catching ourselves on that and correcting it and saying, okay, I made the mistake, but I'm not going to make this a pity party about me I'm going to learn from it and I'm going to make your experience better because I made that mistake. And I'm going to make it better for you. And I don't know where I'm going with this. This will be the end of that part of it but yeah. Thank you everyone for saying what you have you are absolutely not the fuck alone. I'm right here with you. Thank you yeah well we got to catch ourselves as older people have to say oh I'm going to learn. I get called on a lot of my shit and I go I always do that thing like what I'm so mad and then I like no get soft. I'm sorry because you're learning to you got to learn you have to stay learning. Let me have who we have Alex. Alex Hernandez. Yeah, everyone. Um, I'm just really excited to be here because I was like, I think I'm going to take a nap instead. So like pushing myself to do zoom class like the zoom classes when I can and like going over that like screen fatigue bump is like and being able to sit in community like this is really great. So I've been working with a collective on a binding will adaptation of a play. And one of the things that we've been trying to like ground or work on is the audience that recreated and like the way that we're creating work is like our motto like the motto that I've been talking about is like nothing about us without us and so like just really thinking about like, okay. And it's specifically with the Spanish like we've had all these conversations and we have different people in our collective writing and it's like I only know border Spanish. I only know Honduran Spanish, I only know Spanglish and so like trying to make these rules so that all those different types of Spanish is and Spanglish is can live in this world that we're creating because ultimately like it's not real. And if it's not like if other people like white audience members or non Spanish speakers cannot like follow in into that storyline and hold that suspicion this belief in this place not for them. Right. And so we are really trying to hold space for each other and be like it's okay that you don't know how to spell this. It's okay that you don't know where the accents go like just tell me what you're trying to say and collectively like we can figure it out. So that's been kind of like one of like how we've been anchoring our work but then also like thinking about how you were talking about power. I think it's a really great time to look at like what power structures were upholding, specifically from Eurocentric like college training and looking at how we want to dismantle those so like for us rest has been really important in our group. And we only meet once a week and we're trying to be communicating about I'm tired like I can't do the assigned scenes that I was supposed to do today, or like last weekend we took a week off like we took our day off because there's just so much going on in the world. And so really looking at the opening these lines of communication and being like, I'm not going to produce what I need to produce and that's okay, like I need to take this time off to process this. And so just yeah just really looking at those cartridges and then also like looking at how we want to implement implement these and like our future work when we go back into working to institutions. Thank you. I, you know, I have a whole scene in goes to Bogota that is done entirely and I have two that are done entirely in Spanish with no translation, and they're on purpose they're meant to be. They're meant to be combative to people who don't speak Spanish, it's meant to be a combat, even to Latinos who don't speak Spanish it's meant it's done on purpose to invoke a certain feeling right. I think it strikes me that it's so it's is it only Spanish that gets picked on like that is it only Spanish that becomes too radical I mean does it happen if there's Russian in it I'm really curious I would love to find artists about their cultures who you write in other languages and ask them, do they say the same things to you or do they think it's poetic because it's Russian. You know, yeah, yeah there's some great stuff in the chat by the way if we can get that out into the world there's some really exciting stuff happening in the chat. Where are you. Hi. Um, so I've laid to the game I haven't been able because I've been in school but most of what I study is theater management. So it's really beautiful to be in this in this room because I'm storming the castle and one of those I'm attempting to storm the castle. But I think something that for me that I know that as an administrator it's been very hard is because you have to perform whiteness for whiteness to welcome you into the space. And then how do you disrupt from the inside. So I always know that like from an artist standpoint like no I don't particularly right I don't know I consider myself a writer, but I do know people. And I know people I can be like hey you should do it. But I always wonder I guess. Maybe the older people are a little bit more established and let me know. Where do you, how far does that performativity, oof, performativity come in before you can go okay yes, I played your game, I checked the boxes for you. Are you gonna let me do my thing now or are we going to keep playing the game. And how do you balance that I guess that's very good. Does anybody want to speak to that. That's not me. I mean I know. I ended up pissing a lot of people off, right. You ended up pissing a lot of people off, because you're not being the good little. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to talk a little bit about that. About what exactly just say repeat the question about how about performative whiteness in spaces. Yeah, well, I mean, there is a sense that that there is a certain, and you know, I mean there's a certain way to behave in when you're dealing with the decision makers and gatekeepers and you have to realize that you have to tease in the way that you don't come across as intimidating and certainly I've experienced that as a, as a, as a gigano as a Latinx man as an immigrant. It's, it's particularly challenging. And we all know this by the count, you know what we've been hearing from black creatives throughout the week in terms of what they've experienced in training drama schools in the how one single misstep or defiance or just even asking for justification for a particular direction can lead to ostracization blacklisting gaslighting. And, and we have to just stop we have to, for me if there isn't that kind of collaboration that we all talk about amongst white creatives and that is not extended to people of color. And then what are we doing in this industry, what is this industry about, if it's not about the collective, you know, storytelling that we do. We all say that we, we believe in the shared humanity of the theater but, but that is not that's not extended to all people and only a few seem to have the power to, to be able to green light the particular stories and oftentimes they're going to choose the stories that that make them comfortable, or make them that center their their experience and all too often that experience is white in middle class and set in the New York apartment with the sofa. So you have to just keep fighting the good fight even I have to be aware in terms of when I'm writing that I'm not falling into the same tropes that that kind of come into my head about oh if I Well, maybe if this play only has five characters it'll be at least read or considered note write the play that you need to write and focus on the story focus on the focus on the the notes that you get from cherished and trusted colleagues and people that you know, so that you continue to get feedback without people trying to rewrite your play in order to accommodate a white audience. So I'll just leave that that that's great and also to accommodate whatever like I just submitted to the Yale prize and it's like five characters only you're like really, really the Boston court is four characters so well there went that because I don't have a fork any play I have one play that has less than four characters like these gatekeepers like anything they can do to keep people out it just doesn't seem generous to me right and they can go ahead and produce what was that play Charles the third which has like 24 white people and then they'll they'll they'll program the one person you know black woman show And let's not even talk about what they do with classics when they just all just sort of plop people of color in roles that really don't are not a comfortable fit in warehouse doing the Hamlet with Ruznega it's they put bodies bodies into roles without considering what the meaning of the body in the role is I think that's I could do a whole hour just on that but I'm not going to so we have let's do I know Sonia are you there I would love to hear from you and then we'll do the Vianna because I've heard from you before but I haven't heard from from this particular person I'll unmute you there we go where are you Sonia are you there is your microphone Is it good now better worse I have no idea It's a little bit just just come a little closer to you Yeah, so I was just sort of in the chat kind of speaking about the disassociation of white audiences with Indian languages there's like in the conversations we were having with Spanish there are about God 30 languages in India I'm South Asian I'm Indian I grew up with like two or three of them particularly and the one that American audiences are used to seeing or I say fetishizing as Hindi because of Bollywood movies and when it doesn't sound like that so I grew up with Tamil from Tamil Nadu in South India when it doesn't sound like that it's very off-putting because Tamil is very reflexive as a language like yeah, it's very reflexive it kind of pulls back in and it disassociates people and that's something that I've been trying to figure out a way to do and I've also looked at a lot of like Latinx plays to see how language works because I haven't seen many Indian plays with Tamil and English and a bunch of different languages so I've mainly been looking at like I know it's a TV show but Jane the Virgin having the grandma just speak in Spanish and having the kids speak her back in English so some of my experience growing up with my parents so it's a lot of like that and also how language is used as different communities so my parents will speak a language that I don't know on purpose so I don't know what they're talking about and then we'll talk to me in a language that I know so they can talk about me in front of me as if I'm not there and I don't know if that's like a thing but yeah I just wanted to kind of add to the conversation that's not just a Latinx experience it's been my experience as someone who is Indian and I come to these spaces because I have found in my life of a lot of overlap between Latinx communities and Indian communities and that's not necessarily talked about because the assumption there's usually one assumption about Indian people and that's not always true so I tend to try to pull that apart and be in affinity spaces like this because it helps me as a writer grow and learn from other playwrights of color and communities of color so that's all Thank you for that. I'm going to call on Viviana and then Linda. Yes, hi. I just want to say that I've had, can you hear me very well? Okay great. The experience of writing a play and then having people read it and not understand the humor where my writing, I tend to write with humor and just getting that point across of people understanding the Chicano kind of humor or whatever and going back and having people read it aloud and then say oh I thought I was really afraid for this character. I thought that they were in danger and when it was just like a cultural kind of difference. I just think that it's difficult I think in some ways when you're writing with a specific voice and your audience that is reading and perhaps selecting doesn't have that year or that perspective and how frustrating that can be as a writer when you think you've written it in a way that is very approachable and very you know just the way it should sound and then just the interpretation of it is something that is just so off of what you've written but then when they hear it aloud then they're like oh I get it so that's a frustration for me like how it's difficult to because I know when we're like submitting we're we don't know who's reading these plays and it's just you know I don't know it's just a frustration for myself because I'm thinking why put something out there what is the interpretation and I'm honing it better but how do you kind of go from like keeping your own perspective and your own creative way of communication but then also appealing to those audiences that are the people that are reading and selecting you know that's just kind of a frustration I don't know you might have some ideas about that. Yeah I hear you, I hear you. When it's the past course's work is famously you have to hear it. The rhythms don't, they don't translate to the page the way she writes and that's something that she had to go through too a lot working with her work as well. Thank you for that Nina. Viviana. Yeah I just I happened to find myself this afternoon I stumbled into the TCG zoom for new play development and drama for you don't know how I ended up there. But I wanted to share something one of the people said for Solana. It was his name was let me look at my notes I was the note taker. It was a guy named Lamar who's the first black man in his department at the old globe. And he said something that was like that just really stuck with me. He's he like because a lot of people ask him like why are you going to the super wide institution like you're the only person of color, like why do that why put yourself that and he said that like for him like the resistance is taking up space. But like that that's not for everyone that that he does a lot of emotional labor having to like teach like his like like superiors like things all the time. He's been doing it for years but like that's a choice he makes and not everyone has the emotional bandwidth to do that. And that's just like an individual choice like person by person as for like performing whiteness to get into white spaces I think about that a lot as an actor. Because that's mostly where I've had to do that I did acting and I just graduated and I did acting and undergrad. And I came into it like very much like not knowing about like the dynamic of oh there's a white director and I'm a person of color and you cast me and I don't know why. Because you there's always some political choice happening when your personal color you cast on stage there's always is. So like I didn't I was like I had like very aggressive white directors so I was just always taught to like not speak up. And it wasn't until I had a white director that was like super woke and was like I want to hear every single thought you're having like even if it's scary. It wasn't until like I had her as a director that I realized that the only way you can find other people that will support like your point of view is if you just are like yourself. From the beginning like I would rather I would rather deter a bunch of white people as soon as I walk into a room then like bow down to them and then end up not being heard anyway. But I guess it's different is different when you're storming the castle is like Peter management I don't know anything about that I think as an artist you just you just get to be a screw you. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna like couch out anything till somebody I want to work with comes along like I get like I think we have more leeway because you know get to have artists personality. I imagine for like Peter management different. I think yeah I think it's a person to person thing I think Lala put in the chat I can tell you who's reading these plays on the regional theater and that's yeah they definitely hire the interns. You know and the people that they hire are not generally people of color and so they're not getting they don't get the language and and then you're forced to maybe if you really want to get produced you're forced to whitewash your work and I think that is a little bit of a death in itself. You know to have to do that to be heard by these institutions who don't really give a shit about you anyway right so. But again like I emphasize I want to storm those castles to I'm going to take one question from Gina and then I think we're kind of ready get kind of close down okay so one last question from Gina. Hi no I don't have a question is more of a comment I just wanted to say that yeah I've been feeling so hi everybody first sorry didn't say hi. I've been feeling very deflated deflated lately with everything of course and very unproductive and uncreative. But this conversation today has been so inspiring and I just want to give a shout out to the young voices that are joining us today and that have participated and share their thoughts and their feelings and I have so much hope in you guys in joining us in this fight. Because when some of us don't have the energy. Other of us can take the lead and then we help each other that way. And so it's been really really inspiring to see you all joining us and speaking up and taking taking the space to speak up I want to I want you guys to continue to do that. And the second thing I wanted to say is I'm a theater professor and so I see all of this structure and that's part of the reason why I feel so deflated right now as well. And I wanted to say this conversation that just arose here with that class looks mentioning how we have to kind of make our way into those seats. Well, it's also it's also what how we train in the academy. We have to stop just training actors for the entertaining industry that theater is much more than that. And I just really want our theater departments to reflect that. Yeah, so that's it. Thank you very much everyone. Yeah, and I'm seeing that more and more young people are demanding changes in the curriculum that that we need to make new cannons. We are right that reflects the diversity of our country today. Those plays exist and you should be doing them. You should not be doing another version of waiting for lefty. Exactly. There's a lot of new wonderful work and or old wonderful work. Actually, it exists. It's there. They're just not looking for it. I was actually musing today that I don't think I played a single Latina in my time at school ever I was looking at the roles and I realized no never I never even touched a Latinx character. But so thank you for this fabulous conversation. I know we could talk for a really long time, but it's been exciting to be with you and to hear what you're all thinking. Because that I am on the need. I need you. I need to be fed by what you're saying how you're feeling what you're so that with what I can do I can advocate and then I can also go back and actually do my own writing because I am held up by you as much as I hold you up. So thank you and thank you. Thank you for having me. This was really great. Yeah, well, you know, I'm going to keep writing plays for Indiana. Yay. And get all these beautiful people though, though, the I hope that that we're writing for them and what I mean that's what we can do. I do want to entertain the idea of maybe like starting. I know not everybody's on Facebook and it's like evil, but I could start a private group amongst people who have participated in this and if anybody wants to join we can do that I can also start a Instagram group maybe I don't know if there's an Instagram group at all I have no idea anyway, we'll figure something out but as soon as we do we'll get on this card. We have people who we have people who were sharing their contact info but you know if we have a centralized place we can we can hey I have this play does anybody want to be in a you know reading we can do that. Yeah, and I'm very findable you can just Google me and find my name and and ask questions I like I said earlier, we're super accessible I love to talk to people I love to like I said I'll you can yell at me if you want to I don't let's talk. I'm so into it so the other working people find you on you play exchange on the new play exchange on Twitter. I think I'm lowly Diana on Twitter but I'm very, very bossy and evil on Twitter. On Instagram. I'm not quite as a bossy and evil and of course the Facebook if we must go there. Right. Okay. This is the second time we've talked we also did a podcast couple weeks ago so if you guys want to listen to that it was through Ashlyn new plays. Yeah, where we talked about this and mental health and all kinds of cool stuff. Alright, meet up. You guys stay safe. If you're protesting. If you're people know where to find you. And I'd love to see you all back again on Monday where we have and she's here. Arisa Chivas Preston. Very cool. Alright, gracias a todos. See you Monday. Oh, I'm saving the chat before we get off of here. And I will email it to Tlaloc so you'll have it for everybody. Great. Thank you. You know, get some rest. We love you.