 Okay. So good morning once again. Thank you to all of us who've joined in today, to the online students here, as well as those who've joined us for e-learning. I hope all of you are doing good and well. Okay. We're in week 12 of our class today, and quick recap from anybody. So we did two major sections up until now, so anyone would like to recap what we've done? Just maybe the sections of what we've done. About praying for our children, for our family, going to the altar to pray for them. Okay. All right. So last week, we spoke about family altar. We spoke about what is the role of the church in nurturing the family. We also spoke about family altar and how we can pray. So those were parts of elements in marriage that we looked at. So that was an entire section that we looked at. Okay. Today, we're going to just focus on, I trust I can complete this today, on challenges in marriages. What are the different challenges that come about in marriages? Okay. So I'm on chapter 11 and in your books, it's 119 and on the soft copies, it's again 119 overcoming life's challenges. Okay. So we'll focus on that today. I'm sure we all understand that life in itself has challenges. So much more marriages can have challenges. What do you think are some of the challenges that can come about in marriages? Misunderstandings. Misunderstandings. Okay. Flaming each other. Okay. Okay. The pressures generally that's involved, both social financial pressures that are involved. Okay. There can be health issues that come about, right? There can be difficulty in relationships that come. Okay. Yeah. So challenges are common in life and it is as much common in marriages also. Okay. And Jesus spoke about that in John 1633. So he said, I have told you these things so that in me you have peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration, but be of good courage for I have overcome the world. So the Lord has warned us about challenges in every area of our lives, but one thing that we can hold on to is the fact that Jesus has overcome the world. So when we are in him, we trust and know that he's the one who has overcome the world. Now are these challenges just particularly for us? It is, it's something that's there for everyone. Life's challenges affect every person, right? It's not something that is new through generations, through centuries, people have gone through challenges. And 1st Corinthians 1013 says that no temptation has come your way beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down. He'll never let you be pushed past your limit. He'll always be there to help you come through it. So the understanding or we know that others also have faced similar issues when you probably look back at your own families, you know, the kind of issues and challenges they faced. So what we're facing is not new, okay? So what do challenges, how do challenges benefit you? How can challenges benefit you? What do you think? It strengthens your bond. Okay, so challenges can strengthen relationships in itself, the bond between people, okay? It helps us learn, it helps us learn certain lessons. Wonderful. Prince. They make us stronger. It can either make us stronger or it can make us weaker, right? It depends on how we are willing to take it, to receive it, right? Anything else? Okay, it helps us change our perspective. Sometimes it helps us see that, you know, when you go through challenges is when you really realize that there is something that God's put in your heart to help you go through that. That you discover something new about yourself, that you will, that you figure out that, you know, I may have thought I wouldn't be able to go through it, but God has shown you that he's put something inside of you to deal with it. Anything else? Wonderful, it builds our faith, right? It builds our faith. Usually it's when we are in difficult times is when, you know, we all turn to God, right? And that's not a great thing. That we turn to God only when there is difficulties, but that's when our faith and our relationship with God is much more. Anything else? So that challenge is because we are each other. Yeah, what we can do, it unleashes where we are. Great, okay? So similarly, like we said, that we do face challenges even in marriage. So quickly to look at what are some of the challenges that we may face in marriage. One is, like we did say, you know, people come into marriage sometimes with a lot of expectations, right? And if you're the kind who's watched a lot of movies, especially fairytale movies, you come in thinking that marriage is all a fairytale, right? The man will come in a shining armor, he'll come on a horse and take you away and, you know, these are all ideas and perceptions we build about marriage, yeah? But sometimes those expectations go unmet. It doesn't come the way that you have imagined it to be or you have groomed to understand. So sometimes there are unmet expectations in marriage that becomes a challenge. And it could be very simple things. Like in your mind, you expect to have a husband or a wife in a certain characteristic, maybe, you know, that you'd get up early in the morning, get you your bed coffee and, you know, keep your clothes ironed, right? Or the wives may think that whenever I'm in trouble, he will come to save me and fight, you said? Yeah, so those are expectations that we may build up, but sometimes that doesn't take place as you would like it to, okay? Other times, you know, you may have come from home, a home that has a lot of provision or a lot of wealth, a lot of money, your family is well to do. But when you get married, you're coming into maybe a very middle class or a lower middle class and you don't have the luxuries or the things that you did have as a young, as a single person. And then there's a lot of struggle. You know, maybe you had, you had helps and maids who would take care of everything. You just have to come and sit on the table. But after getting married, there's a lot of work to do, you know, drawing water from the well or whatever it may be, washing clothes or you know, not having a mixer grinder but having the, what is it called? The large stone, right? So, so many things that even your idea about how marriage should be and what it would be financially or so sometimes can cause a struggle. Sometimes there are challenges in health, right? Someone, one of the spouses falling sick and then having challenges like that or meeting with some kind of a health issue and then having to take care of the other person. So even through this, what we do believe and what we do understand is we need to extend our faith in God, knowing that he's the one who will restore us despite these kind of issues that may come about. What else is there? Sometimes things may just, may not be what it was supposed to be right after the wedding day. There's a lot of fights, there's conflicts, there is bickering, there isn't an understanding and so there are a lot of, you don't get along with one another and that in itself becomes, it's an everyday issue, right? Or there could be more serious things where there is violence, there may be physical abuse, there's violence, there can be extramarital affairs, infidelity, unfaithfulness that can take place. Now these are, some of these challenges are extremely painful, right? And hard to get by. Or there could be one of the partners probably not showing responsibility. There is neglect in the way that they live life, right? Probably they don't go for work or they don't take up a responsibility of a husband or a wife and that in itself brings a lot of difficulty. So there are many kind of challenges that can come our way, right? Even in marriage. What do you do? Do we give up? You don't seem convinced. It depends upon the person. Okay. Okay. Go hand in hand together. Okay, yes. So Rin says we should go hand in hand together. Okay, so our understanding about how we deal with challenges come from the place of what hope we have, right? So what we spoke about in John 1633 is you are an overcomer. So that's the hope that we have. Whether it be issues with marriage or anything else, the hope we have is we have, God has helped us to overcome the world. And that's what he has said, right? Jesus has overcome the world and he did this so that we can also be overcomers whatever may come our way. So let's just read 1st John chapter five versus one to four. Can someone take that? 1st John five, one to four. One and four, sorry. Like is there behind you? Every person who believes that Jesus is in fact a Messiah is God begotten. If we love the one who conceives the child, we'll surely love the child who was conceived. Every God begotten person conquers the world's ways. The conquering power that brings the world to its knees is our faith. Okay, so what is this implying in verse four that whoever is born of God, overcomes the world, right? In other versions, that's what it's written. Whoever is born of God, overcomes the world. So as believers, when we are in Christ, that is what the promises that we overcome the world. So everything that comes our way, everything that is thrown on us, we have the assurance that we can overcome that because of what Jesus has done for us and because of how he shows us to be those overcomers. Okay, to Corinthians two verse 14, could someone read that please? To Corinthians chapter two verse 14, now thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ and through us diffuses the fragrance of his knowledge in every place. Okay, so what is that verse read God, who always leads us in triumph, always? Always, it is in sometimes maybe at distant times. It says always leads us in triumph. So then we take God's word for that and believe God in every situation that he's the one who will bring us as overcomers through each of that. So we are aware that these challenges may not be easy but yet we believe what God has declared about us, about our situation and be overcomers. Okay, so even when things look difficult, if things look impossible, we continue to believe God for what his word says. Okay, we good? All right, now even as we deal with difficult issues, one of the most important things, whether it be in marriage or whether it be things in life is to not allow what has happened or the past rarely dictate what is gonna happen to us in future. So like for example, if any of you have met, have any of you met with accidents? You've seen an accident? Okay, so some of you must have met with accidents. The next time that you go and sit on a bike or a car, what do you feel? What if something happens again? Or it can be anything, right? You've talked to a friend and that time when you've talked to the friend, they've said something to you. So the next time that you go talk to them, say what if they say that again, right? And so it really affects the way that we deal with our future or deal with our present. So we, in order to overcome this, what we need to do is not keep looking back. Some of those situations cannot be changed, right? Or something that's happened, like for example, in a marriage, when there is unfaithfulness, right? And when someone has broken the marriage covenant, you can't do anything much to reverse that situation. But you can choose to move past it, right? Rather than allowing it to devastate your own life, you can move past it by looking at what God has for you in future. It's painful. I don't think we sometimes understand how painful some of these situations are, especially when in counseling, when I do see people, I can just see the pain and the brokenness that they have. That they just feel that they cannot move forward, right? And the pain is very real, right? And as believers or as people who walk with others who are going through these difficulties, we need to be understanding. We need to be gentle. We need to be encouraging, okay? But nevertheless, it is a situation that can be painful, but encouraging them to look forward, to move past, not allowing what has happened, to hold them back there, but move forward. What happens when you drive a car and if you keep looking at the rear view mirror? You'll crash. You can't keep looking at the rear view mirror, right? You need to keep looking forward. The rear view mirror looks, you look at it to get some perspective, but you keep looking forward. So similarly, it is important that we keep moving forward. Now, some of these challenges are temporary. Like for example, when there is a sickness that comes about or when there is a job loss, it's for a period of time. But to continue to believe that God will move us out from that place and that space, okay? So what do we look for? Now, it's important for us to understand what do we do to overcome life's challenges? And I'd like to take you all through maybe four practical ways of how we can overcome life's challenges. Four practical ways. It's also something that, how we look at our faith, okay? So the first one is to guard your heart. What happens when a problem comes? Yeah, you get all the feelings will all rise up. The emotions will all come up. So put yourself in a situation. Sorry? Blood will be boiling. Yeah, so think of a time if someone was unfaithful to you. What'll happen? Angry, blood will boil, hands will come up to, yeah, the fire will all be there, right? So yes, emotions rise. Emotions, it's natural that these emotions come up. It isn't an unnatural thing, it is natural, right? But what does scripture tell us to do? Proverbs 4.23, it says, keep your heart with all diligence for out of it's spring the issues of life. Or it says, keep careful watch over your heart because that's where your life starts. So yes, those emotions are normal, right? If you didn't have those emotions, something is wrong, right? It is normal to feel jealous, to feel angry, to feel sad, to feel upset, it's normal. But what is it that we got to be careful to do? That we don't allow it to take control or take root. Don't allow it to grow a tree and bear fruit. What'll happen? A lot of bitterness will bring about more bitterness, right? So when we allow it to take root, to allow it to seed inside, that's when we are losing things, right? So not allowing either the anger or the fear to take hold of us because once that happens, it will grow into something more, right? When we keep strife in our heart, it grows into further bitterness and goes into further anger. So guarding our heart from those feelings. Next, generally when some things happen to us that we don't expect, who do we get most angry with? We get angry with God. Okay, that's one. Then you get angry with God, right? Why God? Why did you do this to me? Why have you forsaken me? Even Jesus said that, the psalmist also said that, why have you forsaken me, right? You feel as if God has abandoned you. And the more that you think about it, the more deeper it grows, right? The more that you think about, okay, God doesn't want me, he doesn't like me, he's angry with me. These are, again, like I said, the very normal emotions, but nevertheless, we've got to guard our hearts in feeling that way towards God. And we come back and go back to his word, to his promises, so that we encourage ourselves this way. So how do you guard your heart? Yeah, so it's a normal reaction. It is a normal reaction, right? But did Jesus continue to dwell on that? Or he said, your will be done, right? I want only what you want, right? So how do we guard our hearts? What's the best way to guard our hearts? Yes, the word of God to dwell richly in us, right? Knowing that, especially, you know, something that happens when people go through, when in marriages, one of the spouse goes through unfaithfulness because of the other. You know where it hits the most? In their very core that they're not loved, right? Or that they were not good enough, and that's why this happened. And so that begins to boil over and over. So when you keep God's word in your heart, what does God's word remind you about his love? It's everlasting, right? I've loved you with an everlasting love. I will never leave you nor forsake you. It's his sacrifice that, it's his love that he's poured out on us that he sent Jesus his son for our sacrifice. So there you begin to see how God's love is there for you. You know, even when you feel the most unlovable, it's the word of God that brings you back into that understanding, right? So it is to keeping God's word in your heart and ensuring that you keep reading his word. Next is to recognize, be aware that there are those negative emotions and bring it to under the submission of the Holy Spirit, asking the Holy Spirit to bring about that change, to bring about that, you know, that difference in the way that you see it. It's what matters is when you recognize it, you come to God and say, God, you know, I can't handle this anymore, right? Help me to love, help me to forgive. And that's the power of the Holy Spirit that brings, that helps you, okay? So when, what are you doing when you're doing that is you need to keep your eyes on solutions rather than on the problem, okay? And there's an example given here of the hummingbird and the vulture. You know what the hummingbird, you know the hummingbird, right? Yeah. And what is the, you know, the vulture? What does the vulture feed on? Dead. It feeds on dead animals, okay? So the analogy that's given here is when birds migrate, both these birds, the hummingbird and the vulture, they fly over regions of the desert where there isn't anything. What do the hummingbird do? What does the hummingbird do? It looks for fresh flowers or plants. It looks for fresh and it flies over anything that is dead. But where is the vultures? It goes back for the dead things, right? And that's exactly what, you know, is a lesson for us that whenever things happen, we don't go back and eat the dead things or think or relive the dead, but look forward into that, which is new, okay? So the first one is to be able to guard our hearts. All right? Okay. Just quickly stop here. Any questions? Any questions? Okay, I don't think there's been a question. Okay, so what's step two? Okay, step two is to overcome evil with good. So what is the natural way a man deals with pain and hurt? If someone were to hit you on your face, what would your first thing do? Give back, right? That's a natural response. He hit me once, I'll give him twice. He gave me a blue mark, I'll make sure I make it double and make it black, right? So the natural response is to do evil for evil. But what are we taught as believers? Overcome evil with good. Okay, Romans 12, 19 to 21. Can someone read it? Romans 12, 19, 21. Never take revenge, my friends. But instead, let God's anger do it. For the scripture says, I will take revenge. I will pay back, says the Lord. Instead, as the scripture says, if your enemies are hungry, hungry, treat them. If they are thirsty, give them a drink. For by doing this, you will make them burn with sin. Do not let them defeat you. Instead, conquer, I will be good. Okay, thank you. So the first verse, Romans 12, verse 19 says, never take revenge, but allow God to take care of it, right? So it's not in your own hands. It's not for you to take it in your own hands, but allow God to take over. So even when you have been treated unfairly, you're coming to a place you're choosing. So it's a conscious choice. A conscious choice is you're saying, I am not going to retaliate. I am not going to show revenge. I'm not going to get justice for my injustice, but I choose to overcome evil with good. So what are you doing when you're doing that? You are choosing to not pay back, or you're choosing to forgive, or you're choosing to do good, to love, even when you are hurt and when you're broken. Is that easy? Is that easy? It isn't very easy, but whose help do you have? Do we have? It's a part of the Holy Spirit that helps us to love the unlovable, right? And so we do the best we can to do that which is good, to overcome evil with good, okay? The third one, it is to keep exercising your faith. So when we look at what Jesus did in his ministry, think of the different scenarios, like when he was on the boat and the storm came, what did he tell his disciples? Do not be afraid, right? Oh, you of little faith, or to Jairus, what did he say to Jairus? He said, don't be afraid, only believe, right? So Jesus always encouraged people to have faith. However bleak the situation looked, he said, have faith. Do you not believe? Or even when Lazarus was dead for four days, what does he tell Mary and Martha? Yeah, you will see the glory of God if only you believed, right? So that's something that Jesus never said in any of those places, he never said, oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to do. It's always that he kept encouraging others to exercise their faith, right? And so also when we are going through challenging situations to be able to exercise that faith, because what do we know? That God is the one who is sovereign. God is the one who knows exactly why and what and how difficult the situation is. So when we look to him with eyes of faith, he, we can be sure he will work out things in a way that is for our best, and that which will give him glory, right? So to be able to exercise our faith. So what does that exercising faith really look like? Exercising faith means that we should have courage, okay? It's saying that it's like going to a battlefield and calling out that we are victors, we have victory. Even when everybody's dying over there, we're saying we have the victory. It is calling life even when there seems to be death. It's calling abundance even when there seems to be lack and it's calling success when there is failure and it's calling faith when there is fear, okay? That's what this means when we keep exercising our faith. So what does faith help you do? When you have faith, okay, let me give you an example. You have a test, okay? And your friend says, don't worry, I have the sorted. It depends on which friend, no, Francis, okay? If it is a person you really can rely on, right? What would you do? Would you sleep? Yeah, right? You will rest or think of a time, I think these are better examples. When you were children, you told your dad and mom, you said, you know, mommy, I have to take this tomorrow to school. Would you worry about it through the night? You will go to sleep nicely, right? Why? Because you are sure that your mother will do it for you. So faith brings you to a place of rest, right? That's how you know that you have faith, that you're not continuously worrying and wondering how it's gonna happen. But you are in that place of confidence, that assurance that God has taken care of it. And there's nothing that you have to do further into. It's a place where you can quietly rest and trust and feel sure and secure that he will bring it through. Right? So that's in our situation, whatever the situation is, is to be able to exercise that faith, okay? And the last one is to be able to take small steps to move forward. So however we work through situations, I mean, every situation is different, right? It may vary how we progress through in different situations, but we may need to take small steps of faith to pass through the storm that we are in. For example, let's say it's raining and everything is flooding, right? You can't keep city standing over there and say, okay, you know, helicopter will come and take me. You have to move steps of faith. Maybe you'll have to move two steps forward, right? Or maybe you'll have to lift your hands up for someone to actually come and rescue you. There are those small little steps of faith that you need to do. So taking those small little positive steps in helping you. One of the things that you can do is to get help of people, right? It can be a friend, it can be a mentor, it can be a pastor, it can be a counselor, you know, where people come alongside you to help you through those situations. Now, depending on the situation, let's say if you have a financial, big financial issue, go to a financial advisor, right? Or you're having health concerns. Go to a doctor, it's okay to go to a doctor. Exercise your faith. It's okay to go to a doctor to take those steps to help you through that, okay? So taking those smaller steps really, really, really helps. Even when we are taking those steps, we do it with wisdom. We do it knowing that God has purposed greater things for us, okay? All right? So what are the four practical steps that we looked at? Guard your heart, overcome evil with good. Exercising your faith, taking small positive steps, okay? All right, so before we get into the next portion, maybe you'll just stop for a couple of questions. We have five minutes. Stop for a couple of questions. Are students in class or the online students can share any questions? Pasta, can you hear me? Online students? Pasta, can you hear? Online students, any questions? Oh, she's speaking. Jacken, can you speak? Yeah, I'm not hearing. Can hear. Okay, so my question is about overcoming evil with good. So God has told us that we should always overcome evil with good and we should not repay. And it's quite clear and we need God's strength for that. But so when we read the verse, it says, you know, like never take revenge. So, and then I will take revenge. I will be back, says the Lord. So even in New Testament, many verses are there, right? It says vengeance is mine. So it does God, I mean, really, this has been a question for quite some, and does God really take revenge on people? Because when he asked us not to take, will he really do that for reason? I mean, because I see some people who are really flourishing. Like, I mean, they do a lot of good. They do a lot of injustice. And I don't want to name specific people, but just seeing that, you know, because everything is flourishing for them. They're nothing as such is gone mad and they have everything they manage of their own. So my question is that I'm so sorry. No, no, good question. Okay, so her question is, does God really take revenge? Okay, let me open, because I have my class full of students. Okay, what do you all think? Does God really take revenge? Yes. Okay, so, Prince says, not in the ways that we expect, God takes revenge, but not in the way that we expect. Any other thoughts? I don't believe it to God, I don't believe it to God. So Rin says, it also is dependent on your motive, the intention you have in your heart. If you have given over to God, then God has place to take care of it. Yeah, so that's what she said. Okay, anything else? The beauty is that then we need to do it together. When I'm doing anything, then we are, and then they give out, and then we contact that side. Okay, so Francis is saying that, you know, the progression of how things happen, we've got to be careful of it, that you know, you probably would have done something and then they are taking revenge and then you say, God, you take care. Okay, all right, God has to take, okay. So Anand is saying that if God has said, he will retaliate or he will take revenge, then our God is a God who doesn't lie and he will do it, he will do it. The question is, should we know how God takes revenge? It'll be nice to know, right? But is it necessary for us to know how God is taking revenge? No, it isn't. If we've left things in the hands of God, we trust that God would do justly and show mercy, right? I think the other thing also is that each one of us have to answer God one day, right? During judgment, each of us have to answer God for our actions and for our works. So that's probably, that's the time that we may see it, right? And we may not see anything before that. I don't know, but that's the time we know that God is going to call each one out for their actions. So whenever you're cheated over something, that's what I keep telling myself. You know, whenever you're cheated especially, it angers me when people cheat me of money, you know? Knowingly cheat me and I didn't know, right? That really upsets me. But then I keep telling myself, God will take care of that. God will take care of it. Because I remember once we were getting some gas changed and this guy came in and he said it cost some 3,000 rupees for a part. And we just paid him because we didn't really check. And after he left, I checked and it was some 150 rupees. I felt so cheated. But this is the thought, you know? God will take care of it. God will ask for everything that's been taken from you. Jack, can I hope that answered your question? I have a lot of people answering with me. Yes, yes. Very much. OK, great. All right, let's just stop for a break and we'll come back after 10 minutes.