 Hey Psych2Goers, welcome back to the channel. We wanted to take a moment and be sure you knew how grateful we were for all your support. Your ongoing support is what helps us make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone. Now let's continue. Gaslighting is a word that's used a lot in the media these days, but what does gaslighting actually mean? The term originates from the Patrick Hamilton's original 1939 stage play Gaslight, where a husband psychologically manipulates his wife. In the story, the husband attempts to convince his wife that she is insane by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that she is mistaken, remembering things incorrectly when she points out the changes he makes. The play's title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gaslights in their home while pretending nothing has changed in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where someone leads you to question your own reality, memory, or perceptions. So here are 10 examples of what gaslighting can sound like. As a disclaimer, we want to note that not everyone who says these phrases is automatically a gaslighter. Gaslighting is intentional, and a gaslighter knows exactly what they're saying and what they're doing. 1. What did I do to you? If someone responds to you this way, they may genuinely not know what they have done and are asking you about it. But when it's gaslighting, they are aware they have done something to hurt you and are pretending to play dumb. In defensively posing this question to you, they are denying the impact they had on you and are also forcing you to question it. 2. Everyone around you isn't the problem, the problem is you. This is sometimes used as a way to shut down the conversation or dialogue for whatever is happening. This type of language is often referred to as victim blaming, where the gaslighter will make statements that cause you to feel like you are the problem, even when you have fallen victim to something such as bullying or abuse and the situation is outside of your direct control. 3. I'm sorry you feel that way. When someone's hurt you and they say something like this, then it is not a true apology. Instead, it's a way to make you feel like you are the problem. They say that they're sorry that you feel the way you do, rather than apologizing for what they've done or how they made you feel. 4. You don't remember saying that, I think you made that up. This is the go-to phrase that a gaslighter will use to intentionally get you to question your experience, behavior, and thoughts in order to take the focus off of them. 5. It's your anxiety that made me do the things I do. This is a common response when a gaslighter gets called out for their behavior. They use this as a reason to justify their own negative behavior when in fact they should take responsibility for their own actions instead of choosing to blame you. 6. You need help. This term is used to imply that you are the problem and that you need to address your issues rather than them having to work through their own issues. This is a shutdown response to avoid working things through with you. 7. It's your fault. People who gaslight will neglect any responsibility for their actions or for a situation. Instead, they will directly blame others. This can be a repetitive cycle where you may be made to feel like something is your fault even if it isn't. You may even apologize for things that aren't your fault to make peace with them. 8. You're too emotional. This implies that your characteristics are seen as flaws and this can make you question your own sense of who you are. 9. It's not a big deal. People who gaslight have a tendency to minimize the impact that something has on you. They may make you feel like you are making a bigger deal out of something when you are within your right to talk about things that are bothering you and express yourself openly. 10. Why are you so defensive all the time? You're attacking me. This is a common phrase used when you challenge a gaslighter. They have a tendency to flip the conversation towards you and make it out like you are the one who is in the wrong. By accusing you of being defensive and that you're attacking them, then they become the victim. Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you? These are only some of the things a gaslighter will say to you. You may have heard these before or even said them yourself, but this does not necessarily mean you have been gaslighted or that you are a gaslighter. Gaslighting is intentional and a gaslighter knows full well what they are saying and what they are doing. We encourage you to seek help or guidance if you suspect that gaslighting has played a role in your life. Please like and share this video if it helped you and you think it can help someone else too. The studies and references used are listed in the description below. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button and notification bell icon for more Psych2Go videos. Thank you for watching. We'll see you next time.