 So again, thank you for joining SubhanAllah, you know, I thought a few minutes ago, I was ready to cancel this, yalla, I'm sorry, and it wasn't for any other reason, but I made the mistake of not broadcasting, so I was sitting with my co-host saying, oh, it looks like it's going to be just you and me. And then she's the one who made me realize I needed to broadcast the webinar, hello, and then we could get people joining. So anyhow, that shows you how much I know about this Zoom, even though I've been doing it pretty much every day of my life in the past two months, I'm still not very well at it. But anyway, jizakullah khayran for being here. The talk that I wanted to present today, actually, I've been thinking a lot about many things lately, especially as we entered this last 10 days of Ramadan, we all know that it's a little bit more serious. You know, I don't know how many of you were on last night's Rahma Foundation Qiyam, but I spoke about just, you know, the theme that we're all entering these last 10 nights with and it's heavier. And I was just remarking or in my comments last night saying that I was thinking about the wisdom behind why Allah SWT organized the month in the way that he did. You know, the first 10 is mercy, and then we have the middle of forgiveness and then the last 10 we have suddenly this very intense theme. Like, whoa, you know, if you look at the trajectory, it makes sense if you're thinking and reflecting about, you know, the wisdom of the human being. We're very forgetful, right? We're very forgetful, but we're also, we're weak, we're created weak. So, you know, in his mercy, Allah SWT, as we enter this beautiful month, he receives us with mercy, and he, you know, because we have to get used to the drastic change, the sort of shock to our physical bodies. And even spiritually, a lot of people have to hold themselves back from so many things that they've, you know, negative things and behaviors that they've acquired over the years, and they do, Alhamdulillah, may Allah bless them and reward them and increase them, because they make a concerted maybe more so in Ramadan than any other time where they're trying to refrain from maybe using foul language or doing other things that are just, you know, really bad or haram. So it's an effort that is difficult for some people. So there's the Mujahidah, right, that's happening for all of us, and then the physical, you know, the hunger, the sleep deprivation, the thirst, the coffee withdrawals. I mean, I certainly feel the coffee withdrawals even now, you know, stumbling over words. It's just, it's like we're not very lucid, you know, because of all of those things. So there's that weakness that when we enter the month we naturally have, and all this part that makes it easy for us by helping us to just ease into it with mercy and messages of mercy. And so you see all of the talks around that time of the month. I watched several of all the, you know, Khatibs or the sheikhs or the imams or the speakers were talking about the mercy of Allah because this is the theme, right. And then SubhanAllah, we go into that forgiveness phase and it's a little bit more serious now because now we're, you know, with by 10 days we should now be in some bit of a rhythm and things are getting easier by just facilitation and from Allah. And so we're getting a little bit more, you know, used to things, but the fact that I'll spot that immediately puts this theme of forgiveness on us is to my estimation or my reflections anyhow are again to just humble us because we're so forgetful. So if we if we ride that wave of ease and mercy too much. It's very natural that we'll just kind of maybe start taking things lightly in terms of our prayers maybe not reading the Book of Allah as much or we start to get a little lax in terms of the time usage right where we're going to maybe watch a little bit of TV here instead of especially in this quarantine where we're not able to move about freely and maybe do other things that we normally would do. So I think the nefs would would, you know, inclines to kind of just take looking for those little loopholes and and moments where you can, you know, be be your nefs again. Subhanallah that Allah kind of stops us in our tracks in a way and says, wait a second, you've had the mercy now you need to, you know, think about all the stuff you've done that that you need to ask for forgiveness for so we get into a very very humbled state, right, we're returned as soon as we get a little bit of confidence or maybe some wind, we're returned back or we're told to note but keep your head low, because now you need to kind of sit with some shame and you know and shame is a powerful. It's a word that evokes a lot of emotion depending on how you use it if it's between people obviously that never goes right because human beings shouldn't shame one another but oftentimes we do and it's, it's a, it's weaponized to really destroy people's and spirits and and lives and you see a lot of people all the below they've they've you know them people killed themselves because of the onslaught of shame, you know, living in a household with a toxic person that just constantly reminds you of all your poverty and all your problems can definitely throw someone into a state of absolute despair that eventually puts them, what's the meaning of life you know and then they just, that's their inevitability so shame is very powerful and a lot of and human beings, we use it in the worst and that's not part of our tradition we don't shame people. But, but when you have self shame before Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that's a much healthier version of shame, because we make so many mistakes we're constantly careless and we're heedless, and it's important to recognize and own that you know, part of the maturation process, the natural maturation process of a human being is that we have a lot of, you know, leeway in the early years right childhood, you allow for a lot of mistakes there's no accountability because you don't, you know, you're not able to discern right from wrong and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala of course again in his mercy, he is lifting the pens as they say and, and there's no accountability for the child, but once the child matures and they have the ability to know right from wrong, and then they enter that next phase of life of adolescence. Then, yes, you're now held accountable, and we can't extend the childhood mindset which is unfortunately what you're seeing in the world around us you know they want to extend childhood, the mindset of childhood, where everybody's kind of nobody holds themselves to account anymore, you know it's kind of like, Oh, well, I did it and they just move on the way a child would you know toddler if you've ever been around a toddler they could break something they could drop something but they don't have the ability or the maturity to realize the consequences of their actions and so they just carry on they're they're not really affected right and that's what we see in our world today where a lot of people they are making egregious I mean horrific their behavior just so all the blah sinful and he didn't stick and just all the things that are again not part of our tradition but they will make excuses for themselves all the time and it's not even a big deal they don't even have remorse. This is what we call a disease of the heart when you are so far gone in and I'm not just talking about non Muslims or I'm talking about our own community people maybe in our own family, who are very well aware of the harm and how who know that Allah is real and inshallah they have a man, but they've adopted this salami carefree attitude that says you know what I'm just going to do whatever I want to do and I'm not really worried about the consequences and that's again part of the collective sort of as we call it the the the Zeitgeist of our time and Zeitgeist is like the spirit of the time and the spirit of the time that we're living in is godlessness it's a lot of heedlessness. It's just not really caring and living 100% for your own shahwa your own desires and whims, and that's how we live and so you see a lot of that in our world today. So you know it's important to again center back and say well how can we control this because we don't you know want to be obviously afflicted by these things and how can we prevent this from happening in our own way right well that's why this month of Ramadan is such a blessing because Allah swt recognizes that we're so forgetful if we don't have something to reorient us to our purpose then we'll lose ourselves so again he reminds us to you know think back on all the things you've done take account for everything and ask me for my forgiveness and then it's not even guaranteed right it's just we're supposed to just actively be asking and then subhanallah when that phase is done the last 10 days is also human nature so I don't know how many of you people are seeing it but I'm already seeing a lot of Eid sort of talk you know we're not even fully yet done with the month yet but Eid starts popping up because we are eager to move beyond the discomfort of fasting and we're eager to kind of just get back to our normal routines and yes you know people recognize the immense barakah of the month but there is that other nafsi pull you know like oh I can go out again I can have my coffee in the morning I can eat breakfast these are all thoughts that people have right so the mind starts to drift away again and we start to look at that finish line and that's what you know everybody's like yeah yeah but somehow look at what Allah does it's so wisdom is incredible no we're not even going to think about anything in this world like forget you know and I mean like the lens is just shifted completely to something that is so beyond maybe our imagination but also real that we're forced to look at it which is you need to not move just from forgiveness but now ask me for protection from the hellfire so it's like this gradual intensity that's happening and you would think the opposite right I mean naturally you would think the more you do something that it would get easier as you do it the longer you do it but SubhanAllah it's actually getting more intense and there's incredible wisdom in that and the wisdom in my again this is my thoughts is that you know we know because it happens every year back to our forgetful nature we fall into a false sense of security that because we've done amassed all of this you know these blessings and these rewards inshallah we're we have hope in our Lord that he's rewarding us and that we've done a lot right we look at we're doing our prayers on time we're fasting we're reading we're giving more charity so the mind over the nefs I should say deludes us to think that well you've done so much now give yourself a pat on the back and now you can coast it for the next year right and so this is what subconsciously happens to many people which is why we see that dip of you know spirituality and practice immediately after the month because it's the nature of human beings we vacillate constantly in these two you know sort of places so the fact that Allah again is letting our last moments or telling us that our last moments in this month are so intense that we're to be focusing on asking actively for protection from the hellfire I think we really have to you know take that seriously as a way to again keep us centered and focused and humbled in the month as we're you know continuing to let it you know experiencing it as it as every day comes but even beyond that so that we have those memories with us when we leave this month that you know I because I don't know how many of us again I was speaking to someone yesterday a friend and I was telling her when I long time ago when I first came to the dean or practice the dean I threw myself into certain topics like a lot I'd loved to look at anything related to stories of the gin or angels all the supernatural stuff really but I also did a lot of reading into the signs of the end of time. A lot of you know reading into death and the process of death like all the soul the travels of the soul, the barza I read everything I could find on what happens when the soul is extracted and the questioning and just the scene and folding in front of, you know, the believer or the non believer because there's different, you know, experiences, and then the afterlife and so I did so much of that but in my I'll be honest with you. It's been a while since I visited a lot of those themes because I think just generally speaking our community has maybe picked up some of the political correctiveness that we see around us where we're very we're always talking on a, you know, and it makes sense I mean, Hamdallah as part of our tradition, you know, when we do that or we teach, we invite with Rahmah we invite with ease we invite with gentleness that's definitely part of our dean. But I think if it monopolizes, if that message is monopolizing, then we may inadvertently be causing some imbalance there because the Prophet was Bashirun, he came with good news but he also warned the Quran has good news but it's also has warnings in it. So the one sided messaging that we've kind of adopted where it's all good and we don't really even talk about I mean when's the last time you've heard any scholar talk about the signs of the end of time I honestly can't remember. I know a few years ago, sort of did stuff but I don't really know many other scholars were talking about the signs of the end of time the jail, you know, when that messiah show came out on Netflix cause a little bit of a buzz and I was hopeful that maybe we'd see more content but when I was in the 90s, I don't know how many of you remember it was that was it that was like all we were hearing we were hearing about the Masonic temples right how many of you remember those talks on the conspiracy theories and all of the, you know, secret societies and then the that there was so much, you know, theme and I'm not saying that we should return necessarily to having just that but I feel like the balance is kind of lost where we don't talk about these very serious realities. And then the further and further that or the, you know, the fact that we don't talk about it the further and further it goes away from us so that it's not really real. You know what I mean, it's not really real to us, but this is part of our Akhida. You know, it's the six articles of faith you have to believe in heaven and hell that it is a reality and it is. It's, it's, it's something that is in existence right and so even though we don't see we're not aware of it or we can't see it because it's not by the unseen realm, it is in existence and so to for us mother to have us concentrate a third of this mubarak month on thinking about something that is painful to think about, you know, a lot of people, for example, you know, death itself. You know, one of the diseases of the heart is antipathy to death where you are repulsed. There's a revulsion to death. It's actually a disease of the heart because death. And our tradition is not something where we were revolted by. We actually are probably the most healthiest in terms of our attitude about death and really the reason why is again out of the mercy of Allah, he gave us such a great amount of detail about it. If you look to other traditions, they don't have anywhere near the level of detail that we have about the process of death, you know, the barzakh. And what happens the unfold like the events that unfold on the day of judgment there's so much in our, you know, in our sacred texts that describe these things whereas other traditions have very little to no content. There's no converts who converted to Islam that that was also one of the reasons that contributed to their Eman is that they saw that there were, there's just so much information and it gave them some peace of mind. Because if you think about it, you know, if you don't have a belief in the afterlife, y'all, I don't know how people really it's kind of shocking to me how people are in existence walking around and they don't believe they believe that this world is like, there's no ability to it and that's it and then you're just dust and warm food. And I think that takes a great degree of, I don't know if they're just I mean it's it's clearly delusion but maybe that creates this, you know, sort of ability to be pervious to all the stuff going on around you and, or even just the fact that you're not going to see your loved ones at a later time. You know, what if you have a tragic loss like I don't know how they're processing that. I really don't know how they're doing it reconciling the belief that there's no nothing beyond this world with their pain because we are humans Allah created us with emotions. So grief is very real and it's just it's mind boggling but I'm going to our we have a belief that this the story is more to the story. And just because you know this world is it is temporal and you know things are event. You know, there it's unpredictable we don't know who's going to go when and how things are going to happen that there's a much bigger and greater story this is like you know the the forward of like a long beautiful novel that's going to unfold afterwards and not to get wrapped up in the forward because there's so much more to come, but that gives us solace it gives me peace when I think of the people that I've lost in my life right. I believe firmly with the opinion shall I that I'm going to see my father again. And that's why when I was when he was slipping, you know, and he passed in front of all of his children, and his nieces and nephews and his in laws. When he was passing away. I had peace in my heart and that was from Allah, because I knew that his body is just a shell, but the eternal part that lasts forever is that soul. Alhamdulillah, you know that we have a Dean that is complete and I think again there's just so much great wisdom, and the fact that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala is telling us to concentrate our mind and heart on protection from the fire in these last 10 days because we need all of that intensity to make sure we don't stray for the next, you know, 11 months until we're back at this month, because that's really what it is Ramadan is like, you know, when it's the the tether that that keeps our hearts connected to Allah's Ramadan is also the filtration, you know, month of filtration where we get to come back and filter and detox, and then we go right back out into the messi dunya until we swing back the next year if we're lucky right, but that process requires or referred to really be effective so if we don't go too far, I think makes the most sense that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala like I said is giving us this deep, you know, this very intense I should say theme that we're supposed to think about every day so in these last 10 days, you know, this is what we're told to do we have to confront these realities and confront our sinfulness and and that we have no guarantees. And now with that said, because I want to stick to what we talked about and or what I, you know, the theme. We also don't want to fall into despair, because, yes, jahannam is real so is Jannah. And when we talk about, you know, thing asking for protection of the fire, it's not to fall into a state of despair and belief that you're doomed and you have no hope because you know, shaitan wants that. So, there's a fine line of being very humble to know that, you know, you need to continuously and actively seek Allah's forgiveness and repentance, because nobody has safe, nobody's safe right until he decrees but have immense hope and, you know, keep yourself motivated every day. So how do we find that balance and not let those negative thoughts worries anxieties concerns, overwhelm us because I know a lot of people have reached out to me, especially in this pandemic, just stressed by all of it it's stressful. It's, and there's, it's anxiety inducing if you're not, if you don't know what's going to come tomorrow, you know, let alone the year ahead, right, because sometimes if something is temporary, we can, we can manage our emotions right, but if there's no end in anxiety, then the anxiety increases 10 fold 100 fold. So that's why you see a lot of people really crippled by anxiety because there's no answers like please someone tell me that this is going to be end over by you know, this month or this and then I'll cope. But when we don't have any answers that can induce that. And so there's that anxiety of that and then you know obviously just in general, whatever a state that you find yourself in again when you're doing this inner sort of work. You might start feeling just not good about yourself and you have to be careful that you don't fall into the traps of Shaitan. So what I wanted to do today is just kind of talk a little bit about well specifically about women because women we have it's just it's yeah the black is I you know I see it when I think of things I see see kind of like the matrix right in my mind certain things I see in the matrix. So when I read a research that says women are twice as likely to suffer from depression. These are global statistics right that you know that so it's you know not just depression but like self you know image problem self and what is the word self esteem thank you could not think of a word self esteem issues self image issues also suicidal ideation you're seeing the statistics kind of you know center around women more than men. And to me that's just tragic because there's so much potential and so much power in in what women do we're just Allah has enriched us and given us so much so it's it's tragic to me because what's happening is it's a bliss it's all at least he's he has very effectively and this is you know I gave a talk of the short while ago but I came up with this analogy so that we can understand what I think is happening. You know our psyche is connected to our spiritual center right and this is the most coveted thing that Iblis wants he wants to destroy us from within. So his mission is very clear he's going to work tirelessly and he doesn't sleep by the way the shouting don't sleep they have no rest. Okay, so we're talking a 24 hours relentless campaign of how can I destroy as many people as possible right and it's amazing because you know the connectivity that we all have with the internet and all the stuff that modern technologies afforded us are also really powerful tools for him to do this work even more so right because he has direct access to us in a way that we're not that previous generations didn't really have you know that it was a much harder job for him to do what he had to do previously but now it's like he's we're literally inviting him into our lives into our homes every single day by these means right and so I'm going to use this analogy because it works you want to look at it like you know your psyche or your spiritual center kind of the same way that like a again a computer system that has been hacked into. Okay, Shaytan is the ultimate the you know the hacker that nobody ever wants to know right the one who can do it all he's got tricks up his sleeves and nobody can really trace him he's like untraceable right there there's hackers that are like that on the dark web they're very hard to you know they're elusive they can't FBI and all these you know agencies cannot track them down because they know they're ahead of the game right that's a bliss so he knows how to hack into each of us individually and him and his minions and the way that they do it you know some of the attacks are very clear so when you're talking to some people their their spiritual attacks you can tell right away this is a total was was you have to reject those thoughts but other ways that he gets in are what we call you know there's for again using computer terminology but like you know malware right there's malware there's spyware there's all these different ways right but one of the things that is very powerful is what they call the Trojan horse right which is sneaky it comes in undetected you don't know that it's even there and then it destroys everything it wreaks havoc so this is how he has I think effectively gone gotten through to a lot of us specifically women and I'll explain why I think that but he's basically dispatched his minions to attack us and to embed himself into that spiritual center where slowly it's like a slow release poison you know that he is releasing to destroy our entire beings and I see so many sisters and a lot of it breaks my heart because they will talk about how they're having you know psychosomatic response to whatever they're feeling they're feeling bad about themselves maybe they're single and they're not married yet so now shayton has found a way to cripple their self-esteem you have nothing to offer your unlovable you've got this problem so that happens to a lot of our single sisters then you have married sisters who are in relationships and they are just full of self doubt you know is he going to leave me is he going to take another wife I'm not pretty enough I have to lose weight I can't eat around him because he'll think this and you see this total again crippling of sisters that's happening they just don't have any self value anything that they're holding on to because they're consumed by these thoughts and then you have mothers who enter motherhood who just on every decision beat themselves up question themselves constantly what's wrong with me my kids are going to turn out this way I suck look at all these other you know I'm sorry for the frank language but you know that's the kind of language and the thoughts that they get I'm a terrible mother you know look at so and so she seems to have it all and there's all this compare and contrast and so you start to just chip away at every single phase of a woman's life he's found a way to again send those viruses in and destroy us from within chip away at our self confidence at our value and then we're just deduced to this kind of you know free sort of unleashing of these you know I get I'm visualizing I'm visually visualizing a lot when I talk but like I just look at it like you know when you have what's the word there's a term I apologize this is this is the effective lack of coffee but when things are just you know streaming you know thoughts that are uncontrollable and they're just coming from every angle and she's not aware that these are all what these are all was was those negative thoughts that make you feel so terrible about every part of yourself they're not they don't originate from you they originate from him and it's all part of the design you know what he's he knows he's been watching us right he knows how to do this and so if you're not aware of his tools and his you know modus operandi how he operates you're susceptible to his attacks so it's very important to be able to pay attention to your thoughts and just on the topic of thoughts you know according to the research we have anywhere from 50,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day I mean that's a huge amount of thoughts if you're if you're like from the start of your day until you go to sleep is it any wonder why we have anxiety really I mean is it any wonder why we're all kind of panicking and not feeling any peace because we don't have quietude of the mind it's like this bombardment of thoughts right and so first and foremost that's important right that to know the number but then to know the quality right because that that translates to 2100 to between 2100 to 3500 thoughts an hour okay so 8050 to 80,000 again everybody's different but in that range. Then you're looking at the quality of the thoughts 80% of the thoughts that we have 80% are actually repetitive their excuse me negative their negative and then 90% 95% are the same so we have 80% negative thoughts 95% repetitive thoughts. So, that's a huge portion of your thoughts are exactly the way that we should depict Shaitan he is the whisper and when you think of whispers it's like one after the other after the other after the other so it's just this, you know, boom boom boom like this onslaught of the same repeated thought right. So he knows what he's doing and it's and that's what we're all walking around with with that reality. So it's like how do you free yourself from that so that you can build yourself up again and become an actual your actual, you know, actualized self you're the best potential and best version of yourself. How can you do that when your mind is again been hacked into this way your spiritual centers been hacked into. You cannot do that unless you know again how he works. So, Alhamdulillah we have. I'm going to read quickly, because if there's questions I'll take them inshallah and I don't want to keep you guys too long, but I'll read from some of what our scholars have left us to give us some clarity. First and foremost, you need to be able to identify the types of thoughts you have because all thoughts there first of all sourced from four different sources which we'll get to in a moment, but they're also you know there's different types of thoughts. So we have descriptions that I'll read. The first is a hedges and this is a fleeting thought. It's something that enters the mind, and then leaves quickly so it's not really something that you're holding on to for very long but it may be just a, you know, pop up, you know, kind of think of again another computer term a pop up that comes in your mind and then boom it's gone. So that's a hedges then you have a hot that is a thought that enters the mind, and you and we actually hold on to it a little bit longer. So you might think about it, you know, for a few minutes, maybe 30 minutes, maybe an hour but it's something that sits with you and you're dwelling on. Okay, and that specific one will expand on in a minute. Haditha Nafs is now you're taking that thought and it's going to develop into an internal conversation. And so you're going to deliberate much more over this thought, maybe over a longer period of time or revisited over a span of a couple of days, but it's just something that, again, could be anything it could be a memory, it could be a plan, an idea. So we're again giving you just the breakdown of the different types or degrees of thoughts. Then you have alham. So once you've processed or deliberated then there might be an impulse to act like some motivational, you know, state it inspires you to to be in a state right. I'm sorry, did I read that wrong? No, no, it's correct. So yeah, you have this motivation, right? And then that motivation turns into what we call the asm, which is now you are resolved to do to execute the action. So whatever motivation you had to act, the asm is now you're going to develop that into an actual, you know, plan of action. So those are the different types of thoughts we have, right, fleeting, sort of temporary, but you know, you recognize them. And then that conversation internal dialogue that you have, which may span over some time, then there's an impulse to act and then there's the an actual plan of action. So those are the five different types of thoughts that come to us. Now the sources are also important to know, because the khatr or khawater are four, that every inspiration that you have is sourced from four sources. The first is khawater, Rabbani or Rahmani, then Malikani, Nafsi and Shaitani. And so inspired thoughts from Allah SWT are sort of commands to do good. They can come from, you know, responses from doing the Salat al Astaghara. So there's very clearly some, you know, the connection that because you're directly asking Allah, right, for for answers, right, that's why it's hot and so powerful. So that would be an inspiration that Allah SWT is giving you. Malikani is more suggestive good works, right, whenever you have a sort of suggestive thought that you should do this, maybe you should do this and it's good. It's a good work. It's a good effort. There's blessing in it. That would be an inspiration by from the angels, right, Malikani are the angels. So they because we have angels that are around us and they inspire us to do good work, but it's kind of like a nudge. Then you have the Nafsani, which are your own thoughts and this is accumulated over years and all of your experiences and memories and all the things that you know you've been conditioned to think and your beliefs and your personal sort of ideologies. All of that can inform your Nafsi thoughts, right. And then the last is Shaitan and this is where this is the one we have to pay the most attention to because it is the most intrusive and the most corrosive of all the thoughts. It's the thoughts that really destroy our spiritual momentum, our spiritual belief in ourself are all those things that we talked about our, you know, self confidence. He chips away at that through his waswasa. And so important to know how to differentiate also between the Nafsi and the Shaitan because a lot of people, they falsely attribute their Nafs inspirations or actions to Shaitan's waswasa. If you're doing the same things for years on end, you do not cannot scapegoat Iblis and say, Oh, please inspired me to do this sin. You've habituated yourself to it. You're doing it. So that is your Nafs has is weak and your Nafs needs to be conditioned to come out of that weakness, but you cannot scapegoat and say, Oh, it was Iblis and he made me do it. It doesn't work that way. So that's very important to know Iblis is original because he, you know, he wants to incrementally destroy us, right. So once he gets us into those bad habits. The next phase is how can we push her or him to the worst or thing. So his inspirations are always worse. I do agree above and they're new their novel. And so that's how you differentiate if you fall into a sin you've never done before, or your sin has gotten worse. I mean, you're maybe you're doing a deed, a bad deed, but it's incrementally getting worse. And I'll just use an example because it's the first thing that comes to mind. You know, if you're single, let's say, and you're talking to a brother. Right. When you're talking to a brother and you are having conversations privately. Right. That's not we know that this is not permissible because it opens the door for Shaitan. We do a lot of people do this right. We do it we think it's not a big deal but then we feel the effects of it later. Some people, you know, unfortunately take it to the next level as well. So it's not just that you're talking to them on privately, whether it's on the phone or text message or what have you, there's intimate sort of setting. But then Iblis will come to you and say, you know, what's the big deal like you guys have talked now for two or three weeks. You know, maybe it's time to take it to the next level and just talk on the phone. And so, you know, the, at least on a phone or a text thread or whatever, there's some distance right it's some, it's somewhat safer safer than actually having a more real interaction, which is, you know, over the phone or now we can do FaceTime and video messaging. And so you see all of this behavior, you know, it's everywhere now how many teens and young adults, youth, not even, you know, young adults, youth, we're talking adolescents pre adolescents have been caught or wrapped up in this horrific reality of our world right now where young children are sexualized so early that they are sexting and they're sending lewd pictures of themselves to people. This is all because again, shaitan is normalized it and it's no big deal, but a lot of people fall into this behavior. But how does he do it he starts to do at the shaitan or their footsteps so it's like let's start with a small thing first and then get them habituated to it and then we'll keep making them get worse so that's how you know if it's Iblis or not. But if you're already doing it, it's you right so important to know that. So then I'm all of this again and I know it's a lot of content but just for us to reflect on how or what is his what is the objective of Iblis so as I said he wants to destroy spiritually but also I like to visualize and I think it's effective is you want to think of Iblis, his name comes from ablussarite which is to despair, when a person is in despair they're in a low state right they're low, they're low. And so shaitan's ultimate goal is to bring us all down with him he would want nothing more than to just make us all feel low about ourselves so that's where those thoughts of despair and self confidence come from is because that's his station he's in the he's in that realm of despair over over his state and so he wants to drag all of us down with him. So for women a lot of times this is the feeling that we get when we're stuck in these negative thought patterns is it's like a sinking feeling it's like a feeling of and I liken it to like you know quicksand where you're trapped in this just sinking feeling and there's you don't know how to get out you want to right a lot of sisters that nobody wants to feel that right, but it's just you can't move you're immobilized because the quicksand is sinking you further down. This is the danger of letting these thoughts take root and not rooting them out filtering them out is that that's what happens is that you know and this is why depression. It's something that you know it kind of just buries people into this, you know, state of just, you know, again, come almost like disappearing in front of you they, you know, are the science telltale signs of depression is completely being, you know, reclusive and, and not wanting any engagement with anybody and just sleeping a lot. So it's like you're hot you almost just go inward and inward to such a degree that you're not seen anymore. That's what you want it's like a way of making you disappear basically, which is another way of, you know, destroying you. So he wants that but a lot of sisters I mean nobody wants to be in that state but they don't know how to come out right. And so we, this is why it's so important to study his trappings and to study how he gets into our mind and one of the very clear ways. Again, this is my estimation and all the years that I've worked with women is to chip away and and our self value and our self confidence and make us constantly feel as you know the imposter syndrome. These are all syndromes where it's like you don't have, you know, you're always thinking you're, you're a fake that you're, you know, not really good enough and that you don't deserve whatever compliment or praise you get, you're just never you're always overwhelmed by inadequacy. And I see this just the other day actually a sister messaged me about this very same topic. But, you know, that women are always held to impossible standards were compared to everybody else and you know made to feel inadequate because those comparisons are, it's like from every source you know you can get it from your mom, your sisters your friends may say something in passing co workers might say something but there's a lot of compare and contrast with the women and women behave women's behavior. And especially in social media now you see it all over the place right where women are pitted against each other, even if it's not direct, there is that element you know of, of, you know, posting something and you know whether it's inviting whoever the onlookers are to feel not good about themselves and that's why I have a big problem with a lot of the social media stuff that we see is it's superficial it's fake it's where and I'm not talking about just filtered stuff because a lot of stuff is filtered. That's a fact but I'm even I'm talking about presentation is so inauthentic you know it's inauthentic. You have a lot of influencers and they you know it's amazing because I don't know if it's from a bond but, you know, there's a couple of influencers who this month have kind of come out with some really devastating personal lives and what they're dealing with, but they're they say and one of them specifically said I never want to present anything negative on my social media so I've been holding on to this for years, but this is my reality. And it's like wow if that's not you know, I mean that I think is just, you know, really what what's what we're seeing on a large level, everybody's doing that, whether even whether or not they're, whether they're influencer or not everybody is only presenting what they want you to the story they want you to believe. And so it's hard when you're, you know, sitting at home all day and you have young children, let's say your stay at home mom and you are, you know, between Google Gaga and diapers and bottles and you know just mommy why, you know, an endless cycle of questions about everything in existence. You take a break to just go check out and have some level of adult interaction and you turn to Instagram or Snapchat or Facebook, and all of a sudden, you're looking at these picture perfect interest lives of people that look like you, they talk like you maybe they're from the same background as you, but their lives look so much like more polished and clean and there's no things and their face is cordless and oh my gosh I am the biggest loser ever look at me I can't even handle, you know, my, my two children or three children and my hair is like, gray and I have this problem and it's like we just sit there and, but where are those thoughts coming from. Right, who's the one who's going to come when you're looking at that and tell you, you're such a loser. Oh my God, look at her. She has the perfect life. You're so pathetic. That is not coming from you. That's coming from your beliefs. That's a fact, because at the end of the day, you know it's amazing how think about for example endorsements you know we as human beings by nature we're not quick to give away our endorsements to just anybody right. Like you don't endorse people that you don't really know. You don't go write a review about something that you haven't experienced you know or at least you don't know the person sometimes people do it for friends and family but you know what I mean. We're very selective about where we give our endorsements because it's an extension of us right it's like you don't want to compromise your reputation by endorsing a human being or something or that doesn't you know pan out for you because why your credibility goes down the drain when you do that. Nobody will believe you. Nobody will hold your word, you know, with any weight, if you don't have credibility. And so we are very selective about what we do when it comes to that, but ironically, we don't vet the credibility of the source of the thoughts that we entertain. The credibility of Iblis's was was a is he has no credibility. He's the ultimate loser. He has nothing going for him. You know, and yet we give him credibility. It's a jeep it's so a jeep that we actually empower someone who is the most disempowered of all of God's creation he is nothing. And that's his fate, but we empower him by letting that thought that he injects in our psyche take root. And then, you know, as those, the great, you know, the list that I said, it goes from a fleeting thought which all of his was supposed to should be fleeting like boom, get out of here. It's worthless. It's pointless. Right. We don't do that we pick it up we hold it we stare at it we look at it then we consider it we unpack it. And we consider it and we think about it. Oh, maybe I maybe because I didn't, you know, do this when I was younger. This is why I'm in this state now. Such a loser. Why didn't I do that. Maybe if I was smarter like so and so I would have a better life. So now you see the layers he just adds on the layers and what's happening to you. Whatever momentum you had in that day in that hour in that moment has disappeared your feet are in that quick sand, because that's where he wants you, you're not going to pick up and carry about your day when he's just basically destroyed you and told you that you're the ultimate loser ever and connected it with something that happened 510 years ago. This is insane. That's why it's so important to know. Anytime you have you question the decree of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. It's was wasa. Whatever happened in the past happened. You have to move away from it. The past is done. And you don't we don't know why I wish I wish and lament over the past, because it's the decree of Allah that you're you're lamenting and it's a disease of the heart to do that you cannot go back and wish the things didn't happen the way they happened, even if it's painful, even if it was a difficult experience for you personally, you can't do that because you're going against the decree of Allah. So when it comes to things in the past, if you have a thought about that event and then link it to where you are now. This is 100% a spiritual attack because he's trying to destroy your trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's plan and getting you lost in again this soup, this toxic soup of despair that he wants you to just sink in. So you have to see it before it comes. And as soon as it's a thought about past events, you have to chuck it out and go, Nope, Allah. Allah decreed it and you're accepting of it. That's it. And then so the past you stay in the past, right? So that's some sisters or brothers, you know, that's where they're at. Their past is crippling them from moving forward. It's like the ball and chain that they cannot separate from in order to do anything good and lead a positive life. They have no hope. They have no self value. They just are sinking and sitting in that marinating and all that despair. He's happy. He's clapping. He's cheerful. He's excited. He's one want a shaitan one U zero, right? This is how he operates for other people. Yeah, it could be again what what has been decreed for you in terms of your self, you know, body image is a very serious issue for a lot of women. A lot of women are crippled in terms of their life satisfaction, because they're focusing and hyper focusing on their physicality. When Allah's part that repeatedly tells us none of this matters. And, you know, none of this is important. It's important socially maybe to for some people, but in the higher greater scheme of things. If you're basing your value as a as a person as a someone that is in existence on how you look how your skin color is your hair, your nose, your eye color. And that's all you think of when you think of yourself. It's a state of ingratitude. And that's what he wants to do. He wants you to be so hyper focused on what you don't have, or what you are not happy with what you have, that you become completely oblivious to the good that he's given you, where you can't even see it. And this is also a disease of the heart, right to be oblivious to God's blessings. So all of these you see these are all his attacks. Let me get you hyper focused on, again, your physicality maybe or maybe potentially you wish you had more financial security. I wish I lived a different lifestyle. Maybe you're not happy with your relationship. So whatever you have, you know, that Allah's decreed for you, you're just not happy with it because you're comparing and contrasting it to all these false, you know, fake things that are happening around you or, you know, people's presentations around you. But what has he done? He's now chipped away at your trust in God, and made you put you in a state of ingratitude, as well as despair. So it's not just to be sad about your situation. We're going to also help you to be blind to all of the other good around you and just sink you into a state of ingratitude. And that's what's happening everywhere. So many people totally oblivious to God's blessings. And then that, you know, if he's really working on you, and this is amazing, if he's really working on you that he takes it to the next level which is you're not only in denial of God's blessings but now you're resentful. Now you're in a state of just total, you know, all these cynical people around they're just very negative people, because, you know, once you're allowing gratitude to take over your heart that's just what's going to happen you're entitled. You are, you know, arrogant because you think that you deserve better than what God decrees for you. So you're boastful, right? You're questioning God's decree. And this is what Shaitan did, right? He questioned Allah's decree. And he said what? Anakhayru min, when Allah's prophet told him to bow down. He was, why are you, you know, like he challenged, why did you create this creation? I'm better than him. So when you read, you know, in any way, object to the Qadr of Allah and then we question that we deserve more or we're better, we're also, can you see his psyche is injected into ours? Like that's what he thinks, right? He thinks he's better. So we have to be careful of these thoughts. And that's why it's so important to pay attention to your thought pattern, because when you can source the thoughts and you realize, this is not me, I've just been hacked. You know, my mind has been hacked by these thoughts and I need to root them out and I need to start seeing them for what they are. Because his ultimate goal is to destroy me and make me feel, make me a sad, you know, shell of a person that is only just, again, sinking. It's just sinking. And that part of me that Allah's prophet created that is supposed to rise and supposed to move forward is immobilized. And that's, that's who we're supposed to be as Muslims. We're supposed to be people of action, right? We're supposed to be people of purpose. We, we looked to our, the prophesies said him, I mean, he was from, you know, childhood, I mean, even before prophecy, but certainly after prophecy, he never stopped. He never stopped teaching. He's not, he never stopped, you know, spreading the word, he never stopped even in his own practice. I mean, when you imagine the prophecy I said him, who was promised Jannah waking up in the middle of the night and worshiping Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to the point where his legs were swollen, where his wife Aisha was so overcome because she felt sad for him. And she's like, you know, basically, why are you doing this? Like, you know, you deserve a break too. And he told her, you know, why are you doing this? And he said to her, what am I, should I not be a grateful servant, you know, slave? But that was his attitude, right? He never stopped. He allowed that to happen. You know, I mean, he pushed himself to that level. What are we doing, right? And so whenever you're immobilized and you're not busy and you're not keeping yourself busy, you're opening yourself up for Shaitan to tell you what to do. So you're just going to sit around today, huh? Okay. Well, how about you turn on, you know, Netflix, and let's watch something. You know what? Let's watch, you know, the show or nah, I'm not in the mood for that. Let's watch the show. And then you pick up, pick something that you know is probably going to have inappropriate things. You know, there's really no benefit because likely and how many of us now we all have collective ADD, right? Even five minutes. I mean, there's very few people I think in the world that can sit through an entire film without being distracted by their device. I mean, I just, I don't know, you see movie theaters with signs that even warn people, please turn off your phones, because that we're so tied to this thing that the impulse to check it every two seconds is really hard for people to resist. It's like, what's the point? You're going to sit there, waste two to three hours of your time watching something that you're probably not going to remember very much. And then even within a few minutes of it, what are you going to do? You're going to check your phone message, maybe browse. I mean, I've caught, I mean, you know, we all do it myself, but even I tease my husband, I'm like, you just made a big deal about watching this, whatever it is. And now you're browsing on Amazon, like really? Was there no other time? But we all do this because again, that's just the mind. We're all hacked some way, right? But that distractibility is also part of it. So, you know, this is what he'll do. He'll fill the void with his own ideas, right? And so it's like suggestions are going to be everything to distract you from Allah. So you sit through that movie and guess what happens? You didn't even pay attention to the time to realize, oh my God, I forgot to pray the heart or Asr. He won. He just took you away from the one of five things that you were literally designed to do. He made you not do it. And sometimes it's not even one prayer, you miss two, three prayers, because especially if you're going out, you see people, and I said this last night too. That's the point where you're, when you make a schedule or a plan with people and the thought about your prayers, how am I going to do them? What if I don't have will do doesn't enter your mind? That's a problem. That's a serious problem because your existence is to worship Allah. It's not to go out and have coffee or go to the mall and shop for five hours or go to the city and go to the beach and, you know, go have lunch with your friends or whatever people do. That's not your purpose. Your purpose is to pray. So before you finalize a plan with anybody, and even if you're spontaneous and you're like, oh, it's so fun, you know, those natures are normal. But before you do that, the check is, wait a second, when does Allah come? When does Asr come? What if I don't have will do work and I make will do, you know, do I have a prayer mat in the car? Do I have, you know, this and that? You do that process. And then you say, okay, I can meet you. But how many of us schedule our prayers or factor our prayers after we make plans or not even at all, you just bolt out the door and then oops, I forgot to make will do. It's okay. I'll just do. Who did that, you know, and I'm not saying taking away moral agency because we all have it. We're all responsible for our decisions. But the distractions and the constant feed of ideas of what to do with your time. If you're not already thinking about it and planning and scheduling, then he will come and give you a whole host of ideas. But each of those ideas is to take you away from Allah. So this is why you have to know his tricks and pay attention and and start to live, you know, a more purposeful scheduled life The prayers are part of that. Right. We, we, as I just said, we schedule our lives around our prayers, but also there's other ways to also be regimented and to keep yourself in check. Someone asked how do you condition your nefs. You got to know the diseases of the heart. So if you don't have this book purification of the heart. And if you've heard me ever speaking, I'm surprised if you don't know about this book as I talk about all the time. I'm teaching classes right now for the youth tomorrow will be our last one on this book. But so important that we know this book and we work on rooting out the diseases. That's part of it, but it's also habituating your nefs, which is weak, and which only wants to, you know, again, pull you away from Allah. It's abituating you to do what to have the remembrance of Allah, not just five times a day, but periodically throughout the day by adopting the practices of the Prophets as I'm sticking to the sunnah. We have to stick to the sunnah. There's no way that we can possibly think that we're going to have a fast track or a faster way or whatever to Allah. We bypass the sunnah. It's just illogical and it's totally shaitanic to think that way. It's a West West or that idea. So people who are who now come around with all these progressive ideas of you can skip this and oh, I don't know about that sunnah and I'm not going to do this. Like you're just delusional. You are shaitans all over you. Because if you stray from the sunnah of the prophesied sunnah, there's I don't, I mean, you know, ultimately all outcomes are to Allah. But you're not on a good, you're not in a good place at all. Let's just say that. So the sunnah, we look, we have to learn about the sunnah. So you got to start somewhere. If you don't even know his Dawaz when he woke up in the morning or how he kind of carried himself through the day, the things that he did and you're not even thinking to adopt some of those things. Or maybe you do here and there. That's where you start. You work on the disease of the heart in conjunction with adopting more of his sunnah. So for example, you know, when you get dressed, being cognizant of your right hand, right? Everything on the right first. You're just trying your best to adopt whatever he did. Say Bismillah, we eat with our right hand. We enter the bathroom, we go with, you know, say the Dawah and then we enter with our left foot. We leave with our right foot. These are all practical things that we have learned from his sunnah. So we have to adopt those things, right? But we have to learn them. So you got to commit to reading about the sunnah, knowing about, you know, again, how he spoke, how he walked, how he engaged with people. His habit of smiling, for example. I mean, how many of us walk around with just stone faces and we're not, you know, we ignore people because we're socially just, we don't realize the immense amount of focus on keeping good relations. And this all is from the sunnah, the prophesy sunnah. People become so inward and so insular again because of the internet and all the, you know, we're just behind screens all day long that we don't, we're not even comfortable interacting with each other. But we can't even do the simplest thing, which is look at someone and smile. And even though we know it's sadaqah and, you know, the prophesy sunnah tells us don't diminish the value of small actions, even the smiling face in front of your brother is, you know, is a sadaqah, is a charity, right? But we don't, we don't look at those things as important. So we just cut people off, we wear our sunglasses, we have our airpods in, and we're just in our own world all by ourselves. Well, I mean, if you're not going to come out of your comfort zone and be willing to just give someone a smile, a friendly face, then you're far from the sunnah because that was the sunnah of the prophesy sunnah. And there was anybody who was busier in the world. I mean, think about it. Think about his mission. Think about the weight on his shoulders. He said, if you knew what I knew, you would laugh a little and weep much. He had so much heaviness. He carried, he had grief. He had lost so many souls, dear souls, so many beloved people in his life. But he was still able to give a cheerful disposition. And yet we think that we don't need to do that because I don't like people. I don't have time for people. You see all these really negative, annoying comments? All the blah, blah, blah, forgive us because we're so far from his sunnah that we can even utter those things. People are, you know, part of a lost creation. Muslim, not Muslim. It doesn't matter. But that's not the point. The point is, is if you are feeling the spiritual benefits of this Dean, then it should just exude out of you. Like it's like a scent that just touches whoever you walk in their path because the Dean is so sweet to you and it's so beautiful to you that it just comes whether you like it or not. And that's why he was so effective is because he had that experience. He was completely immersed in it. And so everybody was impacted by that light who ever came into his vicinity. They didn't even have to even speak subhanallah and people would come into tears and tremble because they were so moved by his presence. But why? Because that was all from Allah. It was who he was. So when we think that we don't have any obligations to do those types of things because we just don't have time for people. You know, okay, so you're busier than the prophesies on them. Okay. Anyway, so it's just a matter of training your nuts. Your nuts is weak. Shaytan wants to bring you down and it's they work together. They're kind of their allies to bring you down. The rule that part of you that longs for Allah is like this poor little child desperate to go back to its source, you know, right? Allah is the source of we're all going to return to him. That rule wants to be back with Allah with its creator. And it's always longing for him. But we suppress it. We suppress it like we do a young child, shut it down. And we just, you know, increase this nuffs and feed it and feed it and feed it and empower it so that the voice of that rule has like the voice of a faint, faint whisper of a child. And then Subhanallah, out of Allah's generosity and wisdom, he forces us to imprison that nuffs during this month of Ramadan so that that child can speak up a little bit. That rule can come up and and and that's why, you know, you hear the book of Allah and all of a sudden your heart is moved. Why now and not a month ago? Why were you quick to turn it off because you wanted to play that song instead? How many people do that? You get in the car and it's an ayah of the Quran. They don't have the patience to let the ayah finish because they can't wait to play their song because that's enough since Shaitan. Anything that has to do with Allah's remembrance? Nah, it's not fun enough. It's not exciting enough. Subhanallah, this month, why do we have the other experience where we hear, we'll read an ayah and all of a sudden your heart is trembling because a child is finally able to speak. So, anyhow, are there any questions? Alright, I kept you guys on here for a long time, but thank you for staying with me. Are there any questions about this? There's a lot of content on this about how to control our thoughts. But I think ultimately comes down to recognizing the source of our thoughts and being able to, again, what I said earlier, credibility. Don't give Iblis credibility. He is zero credibility. He's nothing. He's useless. He's the ultimate loser. So, none of his whispering should hold any weight. Look to your Lord to base your value. And Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la for the moms out there, if you're listening. This is why it breaks my heart because you think of Allah's generosity, right? He's told us. These two names of all the 99 names are probably after the name of Allah, the most repeated and the most recognizable. The ones that are probably evoked more so than any of the other attributes. Why? Because we learn these names in childhood before we even know Allah sometimes. Our parents are feeding us our mothers. May Allah bless all of you mothers in your hands for feeding your children. But that word, Rahma, what an honor that our Lord gave us women. Because the womb that all of us possess, whether we're mothers or not, it doesn't matter. We don't have to be an actual mother. The womb is within you. And that immediately connects you to Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim. What an honor from our Lord that he gave us that special, you know, station to know his intimate attributes in a way that men cannot know. They don't know Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim the way we do. And that's why how many of us as mothers, I mean, I remember when my first son was born. SubhanAllah. I marveled at obviously the miracle, the birth, but one of the things that really struck me was the ability, how in sync we were. He would, I would go sleep with him, but just a whimper from his voice and my heart would wake up whimper. My eyes would open because the thought that something could happen to him. I know all of us experienced that. That comes from the Rahma. Because we will first take sleep, you know, for our children. How many of us do that? How many of us have done that for multiple children? Where you have no sleep, no rest, no peace, because you're willing to give all of that up to take care of this infant, this beautiful gift that Allah has given you. But how many of us have seen, and I saw, I swear I saw it, it was amazing to me because I said, this is proof. My husband, you know, he had to go to work and so, so many times, my baby would be crying, like crying, and he would sleep right through it. I'm like, wow, look at the difference. I wake up on a whimper and you can sleep through a cry of an infant that just was shocking to me. I never understood, but I know many women have had very similar experiences where their husbands are just like, I didn't even hear it. Oh, was everything okay? And you're like, yeah, I had a really tough night last night. Thanks for helping out. And they have no clue, right? Because this is from Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem, the incredible amount of mercy that we possess as women, as mothers. There's that nurturing quality that you're always tending to and caring for. And you see women who not only feed their children and take care of their families, their in-laws, their mothers, their neighbors, always thinking about someone else other than themselves. So that's why it's so hard to imagine the attack is so effective on this, on half of us. And we know we're half of our creation, of all us creation, such a large number of women are affected by this is because Iblis has gotten through. And we're the, you know, how can we fend him off if we don't band together and work, you know, I mean, and just push him out. And the only way we can do that again is if we band together, we have to work with each other and uplift each other, remind each other of how special we are. I mean, women are incredible. You know, like oxytocin to me, I mean, there's so much to say about women's hormones and what have you. But I remember when I read the research, I just said, that's just Allahu Akbar. That when you come into a gathering of other women, even if no words are exchanged, your oxytocin levels which bring in all of these really feel good anxiety, suppressing their calming, you know, mood hormones, it increases just because you're with other women, it's all a good woman, right? Allahu Akbar. So women, we have incredible power. But we, again, you know, we've been hacked into so we don't believe in any of these things. We've, we're listening to, you know, all the, the, the West West stuff for me, please, but from where from, you know, beauty influencers and stylists and men who are, you know, I mean, that just always gets me to that so many of the standards of beauty that are throughout the world come from men and they're not even heterosexual men. So how many people who are in the beauty industry, whether it's makeup, whether it's clothing, whatever it is, if you look at women's fashion, women's beauty, how many men are in that, you know, industry that are not even heterosexual, and yet they get to dictate to us what is worthy and what's not what's beautiful and what's not it's unbelievable the amount of, like, you know, just to think about how his, his tricks are so effective because if you think about it on a logical level, it's like, wow, that's pretty pathetic and sad. Yet we're, we're still affected by it because he's managed to again cripple us in so many ways and to break away our confidence and then you have all those parts that are, you know, look at our provisionalism first thing he did one of the first things he did was he renewed the value of the life of a female infant. And then full circle, his last sermon, he warned everybody or he warned the men about the treatment of women. He elevated us constantly. Throughout his entire mission, women were elevated, he would ask for our advice. He would, you know, take counsel but he would speak to women. There's that beautiful story that we just heard recently of the woman who interrupted him when he was talking to his companions. And in the, it's in the Shamail and in the Tafsir, she was actually not just an ordinary woman, she had mental health issues. So she was known to be unwell and unstable. You have to read this hadith, how he honored her. It hit my heart like that. Because he's honoring women and he's also honoring people who are, you know, considered the throwaways as Sheikh Hisham Mahmood said. You can consider people who are not well the throwaways of society. And so that hadith is so powerful because you see him inviting her. He says to her, she says I want to talk to you and he says to her, pick any street in Medina and I'll come and I'll sit with you. Who does that? This is our proposal I said him. So he knew our worth. We don't give him in his words enough credibility to, to, you know, internalize those messages. We look to fashion person so and so or celebrity so and so. And then we, you know, it's just everything's flip flopped everything's inverted and that's, you know, signs in the end of time. Nothing makes sense. But that's why, you know, this is what we have to do. And I think this stuff seriously when we're told to think about ourselves, you know, all those commands us over 750 times and he tells us to think, ponder, deliberate. So all those thoughts that we were talking about 80,000 thoughts. Well, yeah, if you're not controlling them and you're not actively, you know, trying to, you know, take control of the narrative of what those thoughts are telling you. You need to be affected by all of this, just toxicity and negativity and lies. It's a campaign of lies. But we're all eating it up. The truth, the huck is with the last part of the process. So that's all we need to do to, you know, dial this noise down it's just, it's, it's noise, and it's harmful and it's meaningless and it's empty and dial this up and, you know, then you'll see your heart is just in a better state because you realize that why am I letting this stuff in turn off your televisions, you know, and I am, I have Netflix, you know, I'm not on here on a soapbox against all of, you know, technology and whatever. But if you what I mean to say about turn off your televisions is be more aware of what you're consuming. If you're going to consume garbage, then don't be, you know, don't complain about the stench because you consumed it. So, make sure whatever you let into your mind's eye that you can watch and hear that you realize it's going to impact your heart, everything because those 80,000 thoughts a day are coming from sources and certainly the media is also a huge source right the media and other people. So, whether it's social media or print media or whatever media it is, you know, be careful, don't let everything in guard your heart it's the most precious thing you possess. Nothing is more important than the spiritual heart nothing. And if you don't, you know, protect it with everything you have, then you know the what happens the hacking system is so easy it's like you know a computer with all the security features is a lot harder to get into right than a computer with nothing on it no software no password, nothing. That's what we've become we have no where there's no safeguarding the heart. And then we wonder why we're in this horrible state that we're in what are we doing we have to actively be doing things to safeguard the heart. So, it's really is in our hands. And that's why our Dean is a Dean that empowers people it's not a Dean of victimization and woe is you and poor you and oh so sorry that this happened to you. No matter what happens, we're told get up and move, get up being a state of gratitude. This world is temporary. It's part and parcel of this world that you're going to have tribulation, but pick it up, because it's not the end the this there's a final, you know, end to this world. And the next one is is where you want to have your eyes set on. So, you know, dust yourself up pick yourself up dust yourself up but move forward. And that's, that's the message of our Dean. So we have to just, again, go back to the basics, learn about who Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is learn about the sunnah of his of this world, learn our Akhidah, look to the sunnah of the Prophet's life son, adopt his way over ourselves, prefer his way. So if you do that and you'll see the difference in your mental health, your relationships, everything just starts to fall into place because you're actually taking the medicine or the elixir that's going to offset the poison that you've been feeding on your whole life you're finally going to get the remedy. That's it but if you don't get the remedy, then you can't expect healing so may Allah increase all of you and protect you. Thank you for being here. My goodness, I'm sorry. And this is one of those days where the heart is full and it's brimming and so thank you for being with me in this moment. Yeah, you find benefit in this. My initial intention was to just sort of speak on these matters, but I'm really happy that so many of you joined so that we could benefit brother Manir and his family and Shala with, hopefully, are all of our collective recitation so please keep him in his family and your Dawahs. If there are any other questions, let me know now because, yeah, we'll go ahead and end it if there's no questions. I don't see, I just see the chat open but there's not even a question box. Okay, so yeah, if there's no questions then we can go ahead and end in Dawah, inshallah, but thank you for your time. Alright, oh wait, there are some questions. Hello, I'm sorry. I have a question. So someone's asking about having daughters versus sons, you know, don't let those things affect you. When you raise children, actually I'm glad you mentioned that. So I hope you're still here, sister, are you still here because I want you to hear this galaxy note nine. I hope you're still here, but I'm going to share something with you that will give you some peace, hopefully this hadith. Where did it go? Sorry, just give me a minute so I can find it. Okay, so the prophecy said, said, okay, so this is related by a Sahabi named Uthman Ibn Madhun, okay, and he says he was passing by the prophecy said on Monday, and he was carrying a baby on his shoulder, and it was the prophecy said Uthman asked if the baby was his son. Okay, so he said yes. And then the prophecy asked him do you love your son, and he said of course yes very much so. And then the prophecy said, should I tell you something that would increase your love for your son even more. And Uthman said, yes please may my mother and father be ransomed for you. And Uthman said, remember, this is for him and his son, he said, whoever tries to please a child, until the child is pleased with him or her. Allah SWT will bestow upon them his generosity. So, I'm a mother of two boys. And this, you know, hadith is hopefully brings some comfort to your heart that not all of, you know, the, the things that we've been told about children are centered necessarily around, you know, or the benefits and the rewards are only for really about raising your children on Dean and giving them inshallah, you know, Hidayah. That's what you want to look at. And honestly, you know, I've heard it too. I know a lot of people, my own family members have pushed me over the years you should have more you should have a daughter you should have a daughter. But I always say, I am grateful for whatever Allah decrees for me, because he knows what's better for me and he knows what's better for that child that's going to come into this world. I may think that I want a girl or, you know, some people think that I don't, I'm not saying that for myself, but someone might think that, but only Allah knows what's truly best and that's why you know the story of Haider and Musa al-Islam is important because we don't really know the outcomes of anything. But when Allah decrees something, you have to be content with it and just put your trust that he knows better and not to hold on to a message that is intended really more to honor us, you know, girls because the society around them at that time, remember, female infanticide was something that was in practice. So the Prophet s.a.w. is trying to, you know, educate people that that's totally haram and unacceptable, but not only that incentivize and give people glad tidings that when you have a daughter or, you know, two or three, that this is the reward for you. So I think there was a lot of intention and why that was revealed, but not to take that to mean that Safrullah, if you don't have a girl, that somehow you're missing out. The gift of motherhood is a gift, whether it's a boy or a girl or not, it doesn't matter. It's a child, it's a soul, it's a believer, it's a servant, inshallah, of Allah s.w.t who will continue your lineage of believers until the day of judgment. That's what you want to focus on, inshallah. How can we condition our nafs? So I did address that, Ambrine. I talked about, you know, studying the diseases of the heart and then also habituating yourself to follow the sunnah as much as possible. You have to follow the sunnah. If you abandon the sunnah or you don't follow the sunnah as much, then your nafs is kind of floating around trying to figure things out for itself and it's always going to lean to the lazy thing. But if you know that the process and did something, adopt it as best as possible, you know, as much as you can incorporate that into your life, even if it's not something comfortable for you, you know, that's what it is. It's disciplining the nafs to get used to a new normal, a better normal. No problem. We should take action with the issue at hand or dismiss, taking effective actions helps us with our hand or just remain in a neutral until you're able to move forward. I'm sorry, sister, and I'm not clear on when you asked that question, what it was related to. So I, if you're still here, if you want to clarify, I can answer that question, but I'm not, yeah, I don't know what I was saying when you asked that question. But if, and you want to answer, I'm just going to quickly, sorry, I'm getting a lot of messages. I hope there's nothing wrong with the recording. Okay. Okay. Could you give some tips on how to overcome procrastination? That's a very good one. Procrastination is one of the telltale signs to have spiritual, because it's false hopes, right. And I don't want to get the hadith wrong, but there's a hadith that, again, in summary, the message is, we're not, you know, the one who wakes up in the morning isn't promised the evening and the one who's, you know, evening, or is alive in the evening isn't promised the morning. And so we have to remember nothing is guaranteed for you and false hopes or this idea that you have all the time in the world to get something done, or you think a week or two weeks, I'll just do it, do it, do it, then later. This is all false hopes and it's, you know, it's basically inspired by Shaitan because he wants to deprive you of getting those rewards and he knows that your, your natural sort of enough see nature might kick in and prevent you later from doing it. Right, like right now you might have that energy for it and the drive, but give it, you know, a week and maybe you're just going to change your mind and go, No, what was I thinking? Let's say like, for example, you want to go take a class, you know, you see a class being advertised and it's on Quran, you know, Tafsir, and you're like, Oh my God, I should totally sign up for this, right. It sounds so great. And so then, then he'll come and say, you know, why don't you do it later when all, you know, the kids are asleep and everything's totally, you know, calm down. Now all those hours in between, you might forget first of all, okay, you might not even do it later because it's just not in your mind. But let's say you do do it comes to you again. Maybe you had an event that day that just discouraged you and you don't feel good about yourself. You got to fight with your husband or your mom or something went wrong at work. Now, if that, you know, tab was still open on your computer, and you see it, you're just going to go and exit out. We're going to go forget it. What was I thinking? I don't have the time and energy to take on this. I can't even, you know, sustain my household. Do you see how Shaitan works? Had you signed up and committed in the moment, even because you were that was an inspiration and you felt it, then that commitment would have maybe taken you out of the state that you found yourself in later because now it's like, well, at least I have this class I can look forward to and maybe it'll wake me up and you have a little bit more pep, you know, because you have something to look forward to. But he didn't allow for that because he convinced you that you could just put it off until later. So if you have the inclination to do good, do good. And I'll actually give you a quick story. Was it yesterday? And I just said, Subhanallah. So I've been intending, I have family members in Iran, and I've been intending to send a little bit from Sadaqa to them. But the person that I go, I forgot, it was just a memory thing. So then I read a hadith and I wish I had it, but I don't know where it is right now. Oh, my internet's unstable. So I think I froze, but I read this hadith. And in the hadith that said something about if, you know, Shaytan, one of his tactics is he will divert your focus so that if you want to do something good, especially with charity, with charitable giving, he'll tell you to do it later. So then when I read that hadith, I was like, oh my God, I never did that. And I rushed to my phone, I got onto PayPal and I was going to do it right then and there. And Subhanallah, PayPal was completely not working. I don't know what happened. Every time I signed in, it wouldn't take my password in it, or it took my password, then it redirected me and I was like, oh my God, and then I came on the browser and I tried it wasn't working. It locked me out because I tried so many attempts with the password, even though it's weird because I face ID anyway. But I was like, wow, and then I couldn't do it because I had to prepare for it live. And so I haven't done it yet. Insha'Allah, I'll try to get today, but this is how, you know, what happens when we progress and is that he'll find other ways possibly to thwart our good. So insha'Allah, we keep our intentions good. So try to just when you have that inspiration to do something, do it then and there be a person of action, insha'Allah. All right, sisters, we've been talking for two hours and I certainly did not intend that, but I am very grateful to all of you for spending so much time with me. So Jazakallah Khiran, Mala, again, increase you, all of you, reward you, may he accept all of your fasts, your prayers, your du'as, all of your good deeds this month, insha'Allah. And your family, may he protect you and your family from all harm, insha'Allah, and hopefully we'll come out of this whole situation wiser and more connected, insha'Allah, to him and to our loved ones. So Jazakallah Khiran, please again, remember brother Munir and his family and your daughters, so we'll end the draw, insha'Allah. Subhanakallahu wab rahmatullahi wab rahmatullahi wab rahmatullahi.