 This is a super difficult topic to discuss, but we need to do it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. And one of those things is being a parent and relationships and all that. So make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. So something that's been coming up lately on my channel which is interesting and I guess I'll address it real quick. I'll make another video diving more into it, but do I feel bad analyzing this relationship? Right? Do I feel bad bringing YouTubers as examples to discuss mental health? No? Absolutely not. I don't. And one of the reasons being is, is that if you look at the combined subscribers of somebody like Trisha Payness and Jason Nash, thousands upon thousands if not millions of people are seeing all of their videos, right? So there's an example going out already touching the viewer, okay? Whether it is, you know, an adult, a child, whoever it is, this influence is already going out. It is public, all right? So what we need to do is discuss it and say, is this healthy? Is this not healthy? Right? And one of the biggest reasons that I'm making this video right here is because after the recent music video I was looking through some of the comments and I see things like this saying relationship goals and I'm like, oh no, no, no baby girl. This is not relationship goals. And how do I know? How do I know this is not relationship goals? Because you are looking at a man who spent most of his life being in and out of some of the most unhealthy, toxic, abusive relationships ever, okay? And one of the reasons why I'm so fascinated with Trisha Payness and Jason Nash's relationship is because I have been in plenty of relationships just like this. And until I worked on myself and my own mental health and my own self esteem and things like that, like I was stuck in these relationships but now I'm in an amazing, healthy relationship. So those of you who don't know, we're in that beautiful time of year, the time of Christmas and Trisha Payness just released her new music video, Cozy, with Jason Nash, right? And it's an adorable little music video about Christmas. But when I was looking through the comments on it, aside from relationship goals, I saw a lot of comments about his kids. And this is something that's actually come up a few times in my videos. A lot of people saying like, this isn't good for Jason's kids. And with this video that got a little sexual, they were talking about like, oh my God, what's going to happen when Jason's kids see this when they're older or you know, whatever it is. And we're going to talk about that at the end of this video and my thoughts and some of the realities of it as well as some opinions. But anyways, the first thing that we need to talk about is the idea of relationship goals and the idea of kids and what relationships they see. So something that I try to teach on my channel and I try to explain is like you guys, so much of your mental health is based on your childhood. Like no matter how old you are watching this video, so much of your mental health is based on what happened when you were a child, okay? Like, you have no idea, well, you might have an idea, but so many people do not have any idea, the relationship between what they experienced as a child and what's happening to them as an adult. One great example is if you were raised by an alcoholic or an addict, it doesn't even have to be a blood relative, okay? It can be like, even if you're adopted, if you are in a household and your caregivers were alcoholics or drug addicts, your chances of becoming an alcoholic or a drug addict are 80%, all right? But let's talk about relationships. If you grew up in a household where the caregivers, whether it's your mom and dad or if it's somebody else who took care of you, if they were constantly in bad relationships for you as a child, that becomes normal. And that's what we're trying to talk about today is when we're looking at this and saying, is this healthy for Jason's kids? Me, I don't think so, all right? Now, their relationship is their own business. One of the reasons I said in the intro that this is a difficult topic to discuss, like, one of the hardest topics for me to discuss is just parenting. Everybody's styles are different and all of that. But I'm mainly talking from my own experience as well as like scientific research and statistics. But what we have to realize is that when arguing when fighting is normalized, kids think that that's normal. Wait, wait, wait. She sat here like a prison guard and I was like, Trisha, get out of the way. I'm going home. I want to go home. I need some time to myself. She's like, nope. Nope. Holy s***. Is this true? Yeah. She's like, you're not leaving. She got to go, I'm calling 911. She goes, good, do it. Then I thought you had priors, so I wasn't going to do that to you. Oh my God. How long were you there for? An hour. I remember on one of the videos I did, I can't remember if it was on Jason, Nash, and Trisha, but so many people were acknowledging and saying, yeah, I've been in unhealthy toxic relationships like this. And then somebody commented and said, my boyfriend and I fight every single day. Isn't that normal? And I look at those comments, I'm like, oh my God. That's one of the biggest issues that we have. And one of the reasons we need to talk about this, because so many people are in unhealthy toxic situations, but they think it's normal. They're used to the chaos, all right? And that is why we need to address things like this. Because I mentioned this in a Tanimojo video not long ago. Like one of the reasons why people love Trisha and Jason's relationship is because it gives them confirmation for their unhealthy relationship. They look at Jason and Trish fighting all the time and they're like, oh, okay, my relationship's normal. See, look, these people fight all the time? This is normal. And the thing that we need to realize is that it's not normal. And I don't want any of you to be like, well, normal is a subjective thing. What is normal? Okay, let's talk about healthy and unhealthy. How about that, all right? This is not healthy, okay? Fighting all the time and some of these arguments. And I had another video idea planned, which I might still do this week sometime, but watching their behaviors, it's not normal. Or it's not healthy, the arguments that they're getting in. So that's what my concern is for the children. But let me use myself as an example. So my parents got divorced when I was four years old and they argued a ton. They argued a ton, right? There was constant fights and everything like that. But my dad, on one hand, he never remarried after my mom and he got divorced, but he had different women coming over. So I saw what my dad's type of woman was like. My mom, on the other hand, she did get remarried. And my stepdad, her relationship with him was toxic. It was chaotic and all of that. Well, as a child growing up, that was normal for me, okay? So when I hit my teenage years, when I hit my 20s, I was constantly dating women that were chaotic, right? Like that's what I was used to. I didn't date women who were quote unquote boring. I couldn't date a woman who had her stuff together. I was constantly finding women, especially because my mom was an alcoholic the first 20 years of my life. I was finding women who were somewhat broken because I felt the need to fix a woman. You see what I mean? And this all stemmed from my childhood. Now, one of the things was, which is really interesting, is that I had some self-awareness about this. And here's how I know that. I had some self-awareness. So when my son's mom and I split up, I knew that my type was dating women who were very bad for me. I knew that my type was women who I would have a toxic relationship with. So I never let any woman I was dating meet my son. I did not want him around that stuff. So like, it's fascinating. Like sometimes, hey, you guys, I analyze myself too, okay? Like I look at that, I'm like, okay. So I knew that this was unhealthy. I knew it was unhealthy to a point where I wouldn't even introduce my son to women I was dating because I knew that I didn't want him to be around that toxicity. You know what I mean? So Tristan is actually one of the first women to ever meet Dylan. And Tristan and I have been together for two years now, right? But I knew that Tristan was healthy emotionally, mentally, and all of that. So I felt comfortable introducing Dylan to her because I was like, okay, this is actually someone I can see being with because we are having a healthy dialogue from the get go. You know what I mean? Because even though I was dating toxic women, like I was always a good judge of character and I knew, I knew, right? But that's one of the issues for a lot of us is that we're extremely self-aware but we keep in these toxic relationships or these toxic behaviors. And it's a really crazy cycle that we stay in. Now, one thing I wanna ask all of you, the audience right now, for anybody who thinks that Trisha and Jason have a healthy relationship or for anybody who thinks that like when you're watching reality TV and you see couples fighting all the time and you think that's normal. Let me ask you this. Did you grow up in a household where fighting was normal? Where, you know, emotional abuse or verbal abuse was normal? Hopefully not physical abuse because there's actually a lot of statistics out there that people who grow up in a household where there is a lot of fighting, where there is emotional, physical or verbal abuse, they are more likely to get in relationships like that because it's normal for them. So let me know down in the comments if you have found that you're in those types of relationships because of childhood and you think that that's normal. So the last thing I wanna touch on real quick is this new music video, Cozy with Jason Nash and Trisha Paytas. Like it starts off all like 50s kind of like tralala and then it like takes this like hard turn into like BDSM type stuff, which is totally cool. You do your thing, your lifestyle is your lifestyle. But you know, the comments where it's like, you know, what's gonna happen when Jason's kids see this? What's gonna happen when Jason's kids see this? And here's the thing, whenever I hear that, whenever I hear that kind of stuff, I always think that it's a lot of parents who don't wanna have uncomfortable conversations with their kids. That's what I think, all right? And this is purely opinion. I'm gonna get away from the science and statistics. Like it almost reminds me of when, you know, people are like, what am I supposed to tell my kids about this gay couple getting married? It's like, who cares? Like you gotta have a conversation with your kids. Like you don't want these people to do what they're doing that makes them happy because you don't feel like having a conversation with your freaking kids. So like, you know, I am the type of person where whatever you're doing, if it makes you happy, do your thing, right? And then decide for yourself. Like as long as you're not hurting anybody, go for it, okay? Because I don't know about you, but my parents embarrassed the hell out of me. My 10 year old son's in the room right now. We just got back from Christmas shopping. I embarrassed the hell out of him. So there's just different levels of embarrassment. But like, for example, like people who are in the adult film industry and things like that, some of them have children or whatever. And it's like, okay, cool. Like if you're down with that and that's cool with you, like teach your kids like why you're okay with that and how you're being safe. And you know, whatever it is. Like I really, really, really don't want people like to be like, so like, oh my God, I don't want my kids to find out about this or this or this. Like I talked about this in my Elimation videos. Like the best thing you can do with your kids is have, you know, open dialogue with them. Now, this is the thing. It needs to be age appropriate. Like I would be, you know, it'd be kind of difficult if like, I don't know how old Jason's kids are. If they saw this music video, which they probably have because they know their dad's a YouTuber. They know Tricia's a YouTuber. Like if they're like super young, like under 10 which I don't think they are. Like that'd be a weird conversation. But for example, I've talked to my kid since I'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. I talked to my son about drug addiction since he was like five, six years old, right? But I did it in an age appropriate way. Instead of drugs, I gave him the example of chocolate, you know, and stuff like that. But I don't want you guys like being so concerned. Like people can't live their lifestyles that are not, they're literally not hurting anybody else just because you wanna avoid an uncomfortable conversation with your kid. Like guess what? If you made a baby, you signed up for uncomfortable conversations. That's just the way it is. All right, but anyways, again, please let me know down in the comments below. When you see chaotic unhealthy relationships and if you think that's normal, let me know. Like did you grow up in a household where that was normal? Okay, like there are studies that show that but I wanna hear from all of you. Like are you part of that percentage of people who grow up to get in unhealthy relationships because you grew up around them? Okay, so let me know down in the comments below. Anyways, that's all I got for you with this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge, huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. And if you would like to get access to some exclusive content and other good perks, click or tap on that Patreon icon right there, all right? Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.