 Bonjour, Guten Tag, Yasu, or Hello! This edition we're transmitting direct from the Eurozone where the stage is set for civil unrest as member states compete in the Euro-Division Contest. On one side we have the Troika, united together to bail out the banks and balance their side of the ledger deploying a plethora of new austerity measures that have brought poverty and misery to many EU areas. While on the left we have the general populace which has responded to austerity with a chorus of protests. To learn more we get the latest from the Euro-Division Contest which we're commencing with the statistic elitist progress. Gets in the streets with belief and a monotope cocktail with defeat these elite policies the police will not fail but the Euro will and Las Berlina proves another bailout. By the way, the bill for your war crimes needs to be paid now. We stand with freeze, ya pasta! Podemos, we can! Be free from this ideal disaster! Children are famished, people are homeless we have to protest Elites call it chaos we call this democratic progress! A third of here has been justice, merciless, job loss, crop busts, cost to public services, water double tax, leaking mass amounts while the rich slip their riches on Swiss bank accounts. Hey Malakas, you owe Greece money too! In fact, all of the EU must pay a fee whenever they use the words Europe and Democracy or we gonna sue! It's all Greek copyright and the bill is overdue! So we've heard the passionate verbal displays of some of the victims which austerity has encircled Now to learn what the judges make of that we turn to the first arbiter, Chancellor of Germany Angela Merkel That was just terrible! A giant batch of glandular gurgles You lack talent, vitality, originality, purpose Angela Merkel, angel of debt, Bismarck in this bitch Queen of the Eurozone, holding all the bargaining chips What is this shit? Especially you Greeks! Ask Eigen You want another bailout? First you need to tighten your belts Sell your islands, privatize the Acropolis And for fix sake, pay your taxes I've had enough of this And Spain is a first lame You make me smirk, for demos we can Yeah you can, get back to work An island, thanks for trying to display your talent But the chips are down Like the potato famine Listen up Europeans! The social contract is dead We said austerity was temporary But instead it's your new way of life So just get used to it now Cheer up, I know how to ruin I mean run Europe into the ground Don't cushion for our Merkel We now join this next Judge on our panel to share standpoints with us We welcome the Marxist theorist, Adroid critic, Slovene philosopher and academic Slavoj Žižek My god I have to clap hands At this revolutionary potential It's sensual, erotic, like a left edge In a Freudian kind of ways You know like him? Because all it reminds me of the film Batman That one where the hero arrives You save our rights But he's actually a hubby Dressed in armor like a fascist or a feudalist You know, the dark knight And look how they frame the criminals Like he starts to fight As anarchists, like talkers or as activists Like pain and shawls and shawls And so who is this Bruce Wayne? Mythologically you know he is like a new sort of Hades Greek god of the underworld Lord of the wealthy And his brother Zeus kidnapped Europe A creature Ok, ok, so the hidden message Hollywood is leaving is cleared First, people of Europe, you are all creatings Snakehunter, you must just trust your capitalist rulers Even if they look like masked threshes And striding tyrants Because only they can save you From the rising tide of crime and violence Inspired in Cycle of Anarchy But if we look behind your stupid masks Using psychoanalysis We see the real criminals At the government and banks Who have declared it is casting class war Or the welfare state But the people of Europe Have seen the rank scheme Killing postage and are in the street Saying fuck you, bank man and robbers Hopala Gizek, for that intricate Marxist syllabus We now cross over dialectically In search of a synthesis to the last judge A person with influence presently in charge of the IMF Madame Christine Lagarde Bonjour, l'assistance club, ça va? Oui, très bon I love the sex, eux, dead slaves In this competition Oulala, so much pain and mourning It's quite eternal But I think we need to have a little history lesson In Europe you call it austerity But we have another slogan For the IMF it's known as Structurally just a programme And we just love to impose them In poor, sad world or homeland Check how it goes then We lend for nation's money To assist their development But for some particular conditions They have to be met Step one, privatisation Sell all public assets Next, market liberalisation To attract foreign capital Devaluing their currency And safety standards in their borders And cutting subsidies For basic needs like fuel, food and water And once the masses stop And are down on their knees Step three, watch the riots Break out in the streets Sounds familiar What? You don't like the particular game? Audicule I didn't hear you ever object to complain When we did it to others And you had profits to make But why subject your own citizens To these strictures and pain? Because, Montcharris, this is a pyramid scheme It's part of the plan At first we let you live in the dream But then it's your turn to get reamed Sooner or soon we'll play Bend over, relax And enjoy the austerity Merci Well, we've heard from all sides then Oh wait It seems that your revision contest Is not quite over yet I'm told there is a later rival A wildcard entry? It's hard to see It's a contestant from Lolli Yo, I'm dropping in on this competition To say on behalf of Indigenous mobs and citizens That austerity is nothing new to all the people living Under centuries of European colonial systems And we're still in it But I'm not here to hate on your brothers and sisters I'm here to cheer on your tough resistance Cos, mate, we can see that You too have been colonised Even more than we have Cos at least we can recognise it Should the people protest and elect? Yep, but don't forget A system cannot fail those it was never meant to protect So the solution? Forget Occupy You've done enough of that Decolonise Europe And do it stat You're smiling Do it squad And with that message we end our coverage Of the Euro division contest Thanks to all our guests and judges We've witnessed noble acts of rhetoric and courage Bold attacks on systemic power structures So how do we make sense of this current EU crisis? Is it just economics and budgets? Is there a class war behind it? Or has colonisation Normally aimed at other nations and continents Been redeployed against Europe's own populace? Seeking answers, we've explored those very narratives From the streets of Madrid and Frankfurt To the Kimberleys and Athens Where austerity advances and history is happening Stay tuned for more juice When Rap News is back again