 Ladies and gentlemen, Colgate Dental Cream presents the new Dennis Day show written by Frank Galen with Sharon Douglas, dink crowd, John Brown, Elliot Lewis, Joe Porte, Charles Dent in the orchestra, yours truly, Vern Smith, and starring the popular singer of the Jack Benny show in a day in the life of Dennis Day. Twice a day and before every day, use Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Here's Dennis to sing Zippity-Doo-Dah. Zippity-Doo-Dah, Zippity-Dee-Dee, my What a wonderful day, Zippity-Dee-Dee, Mr. Blue Everything is satisfactory, Zippity-Doo-Dah, Zippity-Dee-Dee Wonderful feeling, wonderful day, Mr. Blue My shoulder, it's the truth, it's action Zippity-Doo-Dah Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. No other toothpaste has a better job of cleaning your teeth than Colgate Dental Cream. For Colgate Dental Cream has a safe polishing agent that cleans your teeth both gently and thoroughly, brings out their natural sparkle and beauty. And scientific tests prove that Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. Yes, actual scientific tests prove conclusively that in seven out of ten cases, Colgate Dental Cream instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. Colgate Dental Cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor, too. Nationwide tests of leading toothpastes prove that Colgate Dental Cream is preferred for flavor over other brands tested. So try Colgate Dental Cream to bring out the natural sparkle and beauty of your teeth. For a wake-up flavor you will thoroughly enjoy. And use Colgate Dental Cream twice a day and before every day to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Well, as you know, Dennis Day rooms at the Anderson Boarding House in Weaverville, which is run, along with all its occupants, by Mrs. Anderson. But Mrs. Anderson isn't home this weekend. She's gone up to Middletown for the yearly pre-thanksgiving pageant presented by the Middletown Little Theater League. Does Mr. Anderson miss his wife, you ask? Just listen. Well, it's nearly eight o'clock, Mildred. Oh, I must be off for the lecture downtown. Oh, it should be, Daddy. When I dusted your dresser, I saw the name of the lecture on the ticket. Tassel's Latour, the Platinum Ball of Fire. Well, yes, she's a very interesting speaker. You know, you better not let Mother hear you've been to a burlesque show. Oh, I know. I nearly gave myself away last time she went up to Middletown, too. Really? Yes. When she came in the house and took off her hat and coat, I applauded. But Mrs. Anderson wasn't the only Weaverville visitor at the Middletown pageant this year. There was also Dennis's boss, Mr. Willoughby. Mr. Willoughby, however, doesn't seem too happy about his trip. When I went away, I left Dennis in charge of the drugstore. For that, I ought to have my head examined. I hadn't been out of the place ten minutes before he was in trouble. See, the salesman came in to see me, and of course Dennis stepped right up. Good morning, sir. Are you the owner of this fine store? No, sir, he's away, but if I can help you... I'm sure you can, young man. I can see at a glance that you are bright and intelligent, a hustler, and a gold-getter with vision. In short, you are a man of distinction. Is that correct? No, sir, I never touch the stuff. What I mean is, you're a man who knows a good proposition when he hears one. How much is your salary here? $8 a week plus 10% commission on everything I sell over my quota. I see. Then your salary and commission together come to... $8 a week. Well, what would you think of a scheme that could raise that salary to $12 a week? Maybe $14, maybe even $15. $15 a week? You bet. Care to hear my little plan? No, sir, if there's that much money in it, it can't be honest. Ah, but it is my friend. You see, I represent WEAV. We the new radio station. We can double his store's business overnight. And if Mr. Willoughby makes more money, you make more money. Your station can double our business, certainly. You don't know the power of radio, my boy. Now, for instance, you listen to the Jack Benny program on your radio, don't you? Jack Benny? No, sir. You don't? No, sir. For some reason, I'm never home when he's on. Well, Jack Benny goes on the air every Sunday night and spells out LSMFT. LSMFT. Next day, millions of people go into stores and ask for the product. Really? I wouldn't even know how to pronounce it. Well, the point is we've signed up every progressive merger in Weaverville for our opening program. Surely, your boss wouldn't want to be left out. Oh, no, sir. Good. Here's a pen. Sign right here. Okay. There you are. Fine. You now have 15 minutes on Tuesday night to put on any sort of program you wish. Oh, thank you, sir. This is awfully nice of you. Not at all. Just tell your boss the mailiest check to the station. His check? You mean you charge people to go on the radio? Certainly. 15 minutes comes to $150. You see, time on the air is very valuable property and we... Say, will your eyes cross like that when I came in? Mr. There's been a terrible mistake. You don't know my boss. You better give me back that paper. Oh, no, no. This is a legal contract, pal. You can tell your boss about it. You'll be listening in on Tuesday night, of course. Yes, sir. If they have radios at the hospital. Oh, my goodness, then. It's $150? Uh-huh. Mr. Willoughby's going to raise the roof when he finds out, Mildred. But maybe a radio show isn't such a bad idea for the store. That man told you what Jack Benny has done for his sponsors. Yeah, but Mr. Willoughby doesn't feel the same way about money as Jack Benny's sponsor. He feels the same way as Jack Benny. If he only had a good radio program to submit to Mr. Willoughby, he might put it on the air. Yeah, but where can we get one? You're going upstairs right now and write one. Me? Golly, Mildred, I couldn't write a radio program. Well, why not? I have no paper. Dennis, I'll get you paper. Now, write a dramatic show like those morning serials, you know. Make it homey and sweet and down-to-earth, but original. Original? Yes. Don't do one about a woman lawyer. That Porsche faces lies. Uh-huh. And another one is about a reporter. And there's one about an intern. You think of something that hasn't been done yet. Now, go ahead. Start writing. Okay. Good morning, Dennis. Morning, Mr. Willoughby. Did you enjoy the pageant at Middletown? I hated it. If there's anything I detest, it's plays and actors. Yes, sir. How do you feel about radio, Mr. Willoughby? Radio? Oh, very good. Excellent. Really, sir? Yes, sir. I turn it on all the time when I want to set my watch. But if you had a radio program advertising your store, you could double your business. Radio programs cost money, Dennis. I consider spending money on nasty, dirty habits. Well, this program wouldn't cost much, Mr. Willoughby. I wrote it myself. Dennis, it pays to be ignorant as on the air already. Oh, no, sir. My program is a dramatic morning cereal. It's homey and down-to-earth, but different from anything on the air. Oh? So what's it called? Just Plain Boris, King of Bulgaria. Huh? It's the story of a common, ordinary royal family. A king and queen who could be your neighbor or mine. Thank you very much. I can do without it easily. But being a radio sponsor has a lot of advantages, Mr. Willoughby. No. Number one, you'll be known all over as a big executive. Number two, you'll be doing something creative. Number three, you'll get to meet some awfully nice actors and actresses. Number four, it'll help... And what was that last one? Number four? No, no, number three. Number three, B. You mean about meeting actresses? That's the one. But you just said you detested actresses. I said actors. Actresses are built somewhat differently. Dolly, you mean you will sponsor the radio program? Well, now that depends on the cost. How much money will I have to spend? $10? $20? Well, let's not discuss money. It's so storted. Dennis, I've got to know how much this thing will cost. Well, so far, expenses are $150. $150? Yes, sir, for the station. Couldn't you just rent a station? Did you have to buy one? Oh, that's for the time. We've got to pay that because I signed the contract. They can sue you. Sue me, eh? I made a mistake. It could happen to anyone. Oh, yes, yes. I've made mistakes, too. In fact, I guess once in my life I committed an unpardonable sin. You did, Mr. Willoughby? I must have, Dennis. Why else would you be sent to work for me? Oh, but he was awfully mad. Oh, but he agreed to put it on the show, huh? Well, he'll have to pay for the time, but how can I get actors for nothing? Oh, God, let's see now. If only Mr. Willoughby hadn't let me mind the store when he went to Middletown to see the little theatre pageants. This wouldn't... The little town, little theatre pageants. That's it. Again I said something? Actors for your program. But they wouldn't act for nothing. Well, they might for, say, a big Hollywood producer. Well, we're going to get a big Hollywood producer. We have one. You. Me? Yes! All you have to do is go over to Middletown playing your big shot from Hollywood. Well, I'll try it. But I hope they don't notice my pants or they'll know I'm not from Hollywood. Your pants? What's the matter with your pants? They match my coat. Now, before we continue our story, here's Dennis Day singing, Falling in Love with Love. Falling in love with love is falling for me. Falling in love with love is playing the fool. It's just for you. Falling in love with love one night when the moon was full. It wasn't wise with eyes unable to sleep when the moon... Back to a day in the life of Dennis Day, who, in the guise of a big Hollywood film magnet, is about to knock on the door of the Middletown Little Theatre League in an effort to get some actors to do his forthcoming radiogram for nothing. He's even got Mr. Anderson along with him as his guest man. Yes? How do you do, my good man? I'm Orson Metro Day, the big Hollywood producer from Hollywood. From Hollywood? Yes, it's located right near LA. Or as the tourists put it, Los Angeles. We movie folks always call it LA. It saves so much of our valuable time. Well, come in, gentlemen, come in. Ah, but this is thrilling to think that a great Hollywood producer should call upon me, an humble actor, who has gained undying fame on the stages of the world, who has appeared before the crowned heads of Europe, and who in 19 and 28 received a write-up over three inches long in variety. Variety? The horse racing paper all, boy. Yes, O.D. Ah, how I envy you living in Hollywood, that fabulous land. I suppose you're a drama's Chinese all the time. Oh, yes, I wouldn't send my shirts anywhere else. Your shirts? Well, Mr. Day is a little confused. Your town is quite a change after Hollywood. Oh, yes, it must be. Mr. Day, do you live near Beverly Hills? Oh, yes, indeed. Right across the street from her. Lovely girl. You're sure you're from a... Boy, why, only a few short days ago, I was sitting in the brown derby with my feet in the cement. Well, Mr. Dizzy, is it a business call? Yes, my friend. I'm always in the market for talent. When I saw your pageant, I said to myself, there's the man for the new picture you're making at Golden Studios. Or as I always call it, Sam's Place. I'm very much flattered. However, I've been expecting a picture offer for some time. Naturally. Uh, shall we discuss remuneration? Remuneration? He'd like to discuss remuneration, Anderson. Remuneration? Oh, yes, O.D. I'm sorry, old man, but neither of us knows what it means. It means salary, wages. Oh, that stuff. Oh, I'm sorry, but we couldn't possibly discuss that until after the radio tryout. The radio tryout? Yes, we want you and your entire troupe to act in a radio play as a sort of a test. For a very small sum, I suppose. Not quite that much. For nothing? All Hollywood will be listening in, my boy. Your screen career will be in the balance. Oh, well... All right, I suppose I'll have to do it. Ah, good. Who knows where you may climb to if this is a hit? You may become a second Clark Gable. Another Charles Boyet. Bigger even than Lassie. See, I hope so. Well, tonight's the big night, Dennis. Had your cast all lined up? Oh, yes, Mr. Willoughby. We're all ready to go. Good. I've been reading your script and I took the liberty of making a few very minor changes. Just trivial things. I hope you don't mind. Oh, no, sir. Now, for instance, you have the hero marrying Margaret at the end. I had him marry Geraldine. Is that all right? Well, I suppose so. Although Geraldine is his sister. Not anymore. I change it so they hardly know each other. But they have to know each other. They live in the palace together. Oh, it isn't a palace now. It's a shoe factory. And Geraldine just works there. But it was in the palace that the Greek discovered the missing pearl in the royal chambers on Saturday morning. He finds it now in a sewer. Only it isn't a pearl. It's the Mona Lisa. And he isn't a Greek anymore. He's a Democrat. More interesting, don't you think? Yes, sir. After all, they're only minor changes. It still takes place on Saturday morning. Yes, that's true. Did you make any other changes? Well, that's all. Except for a small one on page 20. You know where the Russian comes in and says, Da. Yes, sir. You change that line? Oh, no, no. No, that line is perfect. Oh, thank you, sir. I just cut out the rest of the page. I also put a new title on the story. I hope you don't mind these trivial little changes. Oh, no, sir. I better get the fountain cleaned. We'll be on the air in an hour. Good evening, sir. I'd like some grease paint, please. Oh, my gosh. My star actor. The clerk will wait on you, sir. He's behind the sort of house. Oh, very well. Clark, I'd like some grease paint, please. We haven't got any. Try down the street. If you mind taking your head out of that ice cream can, I can't hear what you're saying. Dennis, take their head out of the ice cream can. Yes, sir. That's better. Now I rule. You. Huh? Why, you're Austin Metro Day. Who? Oh, you must mean my uncle, Austin Day, the movie producer. Your uncle? You look exactly like him. Yeah, he's my twin uncle. Mr. Day, don't be absurd. What are you doing back at that fountain with a white apron on? Well, I was making myself a marshmallow Sunday. It's sort of a hobby of mine. Oh, I see. You, Hollywoodians, certainly are an eccentric lot. Yeah, aren't we, though? Dennis, you better let me handle this customer. It's getting late. You go in the back and sweep the place out. Sweep the place out? Yeah, I got all kinds of hobbies. And while you're at it, don't forget to take out the garbage. Take out the garbage? I'll bet you won't find one man in ten with that one. Oh, Mr. Austin Metro Day of Hollywood, eh? And we were going to appear on your radio show tonight. The Fat Churns. What, sir? Good day, Mr. Byerhead. Mr. Byerhead? Why? What was that all about, Dennis? Well, remember you made some slight changes in the script? Yeah. He just made some slight changes in the casting? Stand by with the Willoughby Drugstore program poached around in ten seconds. Golly, ten seconds. Gosh, Mr. Willoughby, what are we going to do? We have no actors. Dennis, this program is going on the air, even if you have to play all the parts yourself. But, Mr. Willoughby... Oh, you can do it, Dennis. I'll play the girl's part and you play all the man. Oh, no, Milrid. I'll drive the air. The Willoughby Drugstore presents Zelda Popkin, Girl Good Humor Man. The program that asked the question, can a woman marry for the third time and still be happy, even if her first two husbands remain in the house? The last Ronson Popkin has been discharged from the Navy. And now, after five long years of waiting and yearning, without even a glimpse of each other, Ronson stands upon the Popkin doorsteps. Zelda speaks. Hello, Ronson. Hiya, Zelda. Dinner ready? Oh, almost. Uncle Yvonovich is here for dinner, too. Here he comes now. Say hello to him, Ronson. Hello, Uncle Yvonovich. You have to tell Uncle Yvonovich, too, Dennis. Speak with an accent. How's the business, Mr. Ronson? I'm glad to see you. Tell us, Uncle Yvonovich is supposed to be from Moscow. Oh, I'm glad for to meet you, Gus. How are you? Is it? Well, I'm in Russia. Oh, how do you do? I'm proud for dinner tonight, Ronson. Uncle Yvonovich brought our cousin Louis from the Bronx with him. I'm cousin Louis from the Bronx, too. Yes. Evening, folks. How are you all? Ronson, here comes Grandpa downstairs. Hello, Grandpa. Here in sunny, sure as a mighty cold night. Yes, indeed as sure as a cold night. This witness, Petroman O'Flaherty. Hello, Mr. O'Flaherty. Stop it, please. It's a fine night. It is indeed an as the grand night for the drop of the rain. It's coming up the wall. Oh, no, Mildred. I can't do that. You've got to get it. Ronson, see who's coming up the wall. I can't hear Mr. O'Flaherty. Sure thing, sport. I can't hear Mr. O'Flaherty yet. Oh, pardon me. Evening, folks. How are you all? Oh, no, Dennis. How do you do? Dennis, you imbecile. Give me that script. I'll do it. Read your last line again, Mildred. You sit here, Mr. O'Flaherty. See, senor? Mr. O'Flaherty. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. We must your... Fire all my hair. Oh, shut up. Please, some music, somebody. Dennis, how it is? For heaven's sake. Dennis say we'll return in a moment with a song. But first, here's the fact worth knowing. Colgate Dental Cream cleaned your breath. While it cleaned your teeth. And now our Colgate players want to show you how important that is. Listen. It's just definitely not fair, Claire. I'm the one who writes the letters, and you're the girl who gets the mail. Maybe what you write is wrong. Do you really think that's the trouble? No. Truthfully, I don't bet. In fact, I know the reason why Dan hasn't written to you lately. And you haven't told me? Good grief. What am I? It's not one of those girls who want to see her dentist. Well, I think you'd see more letters from Dan if you'd see your dentist, sis. And here's what Beth found out. Scientific tests have proved that in seven out of ten cases, Colgate Dental Cream instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. What's more, Colgate Dental Cream's safe polishing agent brings out the natural sparkle of your teeth, cleans them thoroughly and safely. Yes, Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. And Colgate Dental Cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor, too. In fact, nationwide tests of leading toothpaste prove that Colgate Dental Cream is preferred for flavor over other brands tested. So to clean your teeth thoroughly and safely for a wake-up flavor everyone enjoys, use Colgate Dental Cream. Remember, Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. Here's Dennis with Charles Dance Arrangement of Old Buttermilk Sky. Old Buttermilk Sky. Keep in mind, what's the good word tonight? Are you gonna be mellow tonight? As a Christmas tree. For the one to popper the question, a question to you if I... And next week for another Dennis Day program. More songs, more adventures in the life of our star, Dennis Day. Meanwhile, be sure to use Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. For naturally bright and beautiful hair. Remember, even finest soaps and soap shampoos hide the natural luster of your hair with dulling soap film. But halo shampoo contains no soap, therefore leaves no dulling soap film. Even in hardest water, halo makes oceans of rich, fragrant lather, quickly banishes loose dandruff and dirt. Halo needs no lemon or vinegar in. Say hello to halo and goodbye to dulling soap film. Get halo shampoo at any cosmetic counter. This is Dennis again. Good night, everybody. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.