 and its 96,000 dealers present, Mr. Ray Mulan in pearls or a nuisance, a suspense play produced and edited by William Spear. Mr. Wilcox, what are the batteries for today's game? Why, my dearest Bobby Sock's neighbor, the batteries in today's driving game are the auto light stay full batteries. The batteries that need water only three times a year in normal car use. You don't understand. I mean... Why, certainly I understand. You mean the auto light stay full battery is right in there pitching with day after day dependability. And you're right in there catching all the advantages of longer battery life. 70% longer average life, in fact, than batteries without the stay full features. And this is proven by tests conducted according to SAE life cycle standards. But I mean baseball. Right over the plate, my girl. The auto light stay full battery has three times as much liquid reserve above the plates as batteries without stay full features. That's why it needs water only three times a year in normal car use. Mr. Wilcox, let's get back to... To the batteries? For today's car, it's auto light stay full batteries. The batteries that need water only three times a year in normal car use. And remember, friends, you're always right with auto light. And now, with pearls or a nuisance and the performance of Rameland, auto light hopes once again to keep you in suspense. It's quite true I wasn't doing anything that morning, except looking at a blank sheet of paper in my typewriter and thinking about writing a letter. It's also quite true that I don't have a great deal to do any morning, but I like not doing anything. It gives me something to do. And I don't like telephone calls and interfere with it. That's why I have two telephones. One the public phone that I can ignore, the other a private phone. Which I'd better answer if I know what's good for me and I do. What'd you say, darling? I said good morning, dear. How are you, darling, busy? Yes and no. Mostly no. Why? Penroduck's pearls, and I want you to find them. Stolen pearls? Well, possibly you think you have the police department on the line. This is the residence of Walter Gage, Walter Gage speaking. If you aren't here in less than a half an hour, you'll receive a small parcel by a registered mail containing a diamond engagement ring. I'll tell Mr. Gage when he comes in. I went naturally. I even hurried. Ellen's voice has that effect on me. I think it's the way she says... Walter, darling. Yes, Ellen? Mrs. Penroduck's pearl necklace has been stolen. So you said on the telephone, my blood pressure remains normal. It's a string of 49 matched pink pearls that Mr. Penroduck gave his wife on their golden wedding anniversary. Only 49 pearls for 50 years of marriage? I wonder which was the bad year. Oh, shut up, darling. Yes, dear. The worst part of it is the pearls are false. False? Evidently they were all bad years. Don't be silly, Walter. I have a very simple solution for you. Call the police. Be quiet, darling. Yes, dear. The pearls were real enough when Mr. Penroduck gave them to her. The fact is she sold them through an old friend of hers in the jewelry business, and he had copies made for her. Those copies have been stolen. She tells the police Mr. Penroduck sure to find out she sold the real ones. So you've got to get them back, Walter. What does it matter if they were false? Well, she's terrified that the thief will blackmail her when he finds out their own imitations. Mr. Penroduck might hear of it. And the cat's out of the bag. I'll begin to see what might be described as daylight. Good. But where do I start looking for these baubles? I know who stole them. The chauffeur we had here a few months, Walter. A horrid big bruiser named Henry Eichelberger. He left suddenly the day before yesterday for no reason at all and without a word. I'm sure he stole the pearls. How big did you say he is? About six feet. In that case, three. Three, six feet three. Oh, I'm sure he didn't take them. Couldn't have. He tried to kiss me once, Walter. Oh, he did? Try to kiss you, eh? Well, where is this big slab of meat, darling? Here's the address he gave when he first came here to work. Sounds like an unpleasant neighborhood. Not half as unpleasant as it'll be for Eichelberger when I arrive. Try to kiss you, did he? The pearls are the important thing, darling. And be careful. He's six feet three, remember? I find it difficult to forget. Eichelberger's address proved to be a seedy-looking hotel upstairs over a Chinese laundry. At the head of the stairs was a door-marked manager. I rang the bell. But, Rome... I'm not inquiring for a room. I'm looking for one Henry Eichelberger who I'm informed lives here. Down the hall, Jack. 2-8-10. Have the kindness to show me the way. Oh, well, what do you know? A duke, no less. Okay, you lordship. Pick up your feet, eh? He's out, eh? Have the goodness to unlock the door. I wish to go in and wait for Eichelberger. Two bucks, and I won't even tell Eichelberger when he comes in, eh? That is the deal. Here's your money. Thanks. If you hear any noises later on, ignore them. Yeah, sure, sure, eh? I searched all the likely places where you might have hidden the necklace. Then I searched all the unlikely places. No necklace. Then I heard someone at the door. What are you getting here, sonny? The explanation of that can wait. I'm looking for one Eichelberger. Are you he? Get you a real comedian while I loosen my belt before you make me laugh. My name is Gage, Walter Gage. Are you Eichelberger? Give me a knuckle, and I'll tell you. I am the fiance of Miss Ellen Macintosh. I am informed that you tried to kiss her. What do you mean, try? I hit him rather severely in the left eye. Then the right. Then I give him a crushing uppercut to the jaw. He looked at me with an air of patient resignation. Oh, well. And then he hit me. Oh. I bent over and took hold of the room with both hands and spun it. When I had it nicely spinning, I gave it a full swing and hit myself on the back of the head with the floor. I believe I lost consciousness at about this point. At any rate, I was no longer aware of the time of day. To Mr. Ray Maland in Raymond Chandler's satirical detective story, pearls are a nuisance. Tonight's presentation in Radio's outstanding theatre of thrills suspends. Which hitter is a substitute? Ah, but there's no substitute for that famous auto-light-stay-full battery, the battery that needs water only three times a year in normal car use. Mr. Wilcox, we weren't discussing those batteries. Why, Dora, they're the batteries for today's game. I mean car. This power-packed auto-light-stay-full battery has a fiberglass retaining mat protecting every positive plate to hold the power-producing material in place and lengthen battery life. My recent tests conducted according to SAE life cycle standards prove that the auto-light-stay-full battery gives 70% longer average life than batteries without the stay-full feature. Oh, I give up. Nobody but nobody would give up an auto-light-stay-full battery, the battery that needs water only three times a year in normal car use. That marvel of engineering know-how has three times as much liquid reserve above the plates as batteries without stay-full features. That's why the auto-light-stay-full battery needs water only three times a year in normal car use. So, friends, see your auto-light-battery dealer and have him install an auto-light-stay-full battery in your car. And remember, you're always right with auto-light. And now auto-light brings back to our Hollywood soundstage Ray Maland as water gauge with Hal March as J. Henry Eichelberger in Pearls are a nuisance. A muscular drama replete with situations well-calculated to keep you in suspense. While I was thinking about the possibility of getting back to my feet in the very near future, a wet towel began to slap at my face and I opened my eyes. The face of one Henry Eichelberger was very close to mine. I thought maybe you was killed, Jack. You got a stomach as weak as Chinese tea. Oh, what happened? As if I didn't know. You tripped on itty-bitty tear in the carpet. Feel like ending up here. Thank you, Henry. May I call you, Henry? No tax on it. You look okay now. Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Eichelberger, you swine. That doesn't... Oh, cut it out. Well, you must my hair. I wish you'd fall down when I hit you, Henry. Just once. It would work wonders for my morale. You and me could get along, Jack. Look, I never kissed you, girl. Even if I ain't sayin' I wouldn't like to. Is that all that's eatin' on you? No, there is another matter. Well, sit out and tell me the score. Only no more haymakers. Now, give me a headache. Promise? I promise. Tell me, why did you leave the employee of Mrs. Penredic? Well, you tell me. Am I what you might call a good looker? Well, Henry... But don't insult me. No. I wouldn't call you handsome exactly, but unquestionably you ate your spinach as a child if that's a consolation. Got you, a real comedian. Why'll I lose to my belt? Look, suppose you fell for a doll with stars in her hair. A guy like me, it looks like a taxi goin' down a street with both doors open. And suppose you get a job where you see this doll all the time and every day, and know it's no dice. What would you do, Jack? Me, I'd just quit the job. Helen? Yeah. Henry, I'd like to shake your hand. Go ahead. Now, there's one more thing. I'm empowered to arrange for the return of Mrs. Penredic's pearls, which you have no doubt stolen. Oh, you got nerve, Jack. You think I stole some marbles and I'm sitting around here waiting for a flock of dicks to swore me? The police have not been told, Henry, and you may not be aware that the pearls are false. False? You mean they're false? Exactly. And you think I would bother myself to hook some phonies? You didn't mean to steal the necklace, Henry? Now, look, if they were ringers, I wouldn't be bothered. And if they were real, I wouldn't be holed up and no cheap flop and L.A. waiting for a couple of carloads of bulls to put the sneeze on me, would I? That is exactly what I thought, Henry. Well, as long as you didn't steal them, how would you like the job of helping me recover them? You kidding? No, Henry. It's obvious that if you didn't snatch those marbles, I believe that's the expression. Someone else did, and you can help me find them. Now, how about it? Why not indeed? Have you got any ideas where to start? Yes, I have. I feel that we must, as they say, tap the grapevine. When a string of pearls is stolen, all the underworld must be seething. Well, maybe you got right. But this underworld, it's doing all the seeds and ain't gonna see much over a string of glass beads. Or am I punchy? I am thinking, Henry, that the underworld probably has a sense of humor, and a thief who went to the trouble of stealing some worthless drink that would be the butt that is a nucleus of an idea or not, all right? I would say something like that could get her out of pool rooms and start a little wholesome chuckling, all right? Yes. Now, all we need to do is to locate a reliable crook. Yeah. See, there's a... there's a guy named Lou Scanteese that runs a blue lagoon downtown might be interested in some marbles, but he don't like being asked questions. He sounds dangerous. Uh, we'll turn him inside out and take a look at his liver. Very well. Let us go and beer this Scanteese character in his malodorous den. Yeah. Let me just do what you said. Mr. Scanteese's blue lagoon was not difficult to find. It was a rather soiled establishment bathed in an unpleasant blue light. Henry and I went through a small, dim dining room to a door marked private. It wasn't at all for we didn't even knock. Good Scanteese. Who wants to know? Me and my friend here wants to talk to you. So talk, I'm listening. There are some pearls. 49. Is that right, Walter? Quite right. I don't think I heard about them. Try and remember. Maybe if I pulled off one of your ears, it might help. Oh, well now, Henry, you seem to be doing all the work. Do you think that's quite fair? Okay, Walter, you wake him over. These fat guys prove something lovely. Look, take it easy. I ain't heard nothing. You guys insurance man, huh? Give him my card, Walter. This is my personal card. It has my phone number on it. Okay, thanks. You may be surprised you may get a call. What do you think, Walter? You think this Muslim is leveling with us? I dare say he wouldn't be above telling us an untruth. I got you a real comedian while I loosed up my belt. You're giving us a straight good, Scanteese. Straight goods, absolute. We'll cooperate. I'll bet you get a call. Okay. So long, Scanteese. And keep your schnozle clean if you don't want to be looking for it under your desk. Yes, remember that. I think you've done an adequate day's work, Henry, and the procedure would seem to be for me to go home and wait for the telephone to ring, bearing glad tidings from the underworld. What about me? I would suggest that you wend your way homeward also. Here's my private number. Call me in the morning, after you do your sitting-up exercises. I'll get you a real comedian. I went home and waited for the phone to ring. I must have fallen asleep after a while. It was quite dark out when the call came through. Well, here goes. Walter Gage speaking. Walter Gage, Acme Insurance Company. Well, when did you become an insurance company? Oh, it's you, Ellen. Why didn't you call on the private phone? I didn't have the number handy. You haven't found the pearls yet. How did you know? We just got a phone call. From whom? He wouldn't say. All he said was he heard from somebody named... Scanteese? Yes, that's it. That we were looking for the pearl. Has he found out the pearls are false? No, and I didn't tell him. All right. Now don't worry. We have an idea how to get them back. Henry and me. Eichelberger. I've hired him to help me find the pearls. Of course not. He only left because he was in love with you. Oh, Walter. That big brute. How could you say such a thing? But Ellen, I thought you'd be flattered. Flattered? I never want to speak to you again, Walter Gage. Goodbye. Ellen! Women, I sometimes wonder... Oh, honey, I'm so glad you called back. Now listen, darling. Who are you calling, honey? I says you're the guy to talk to. Possibly. Why, that is entirely absurd. Those pearls happen to be false. Five G's. Take it together. Then I'll call you. Let you know where to meet me. Ellen, this is Walter. I told you I never want to speak to you again. All right. I won't speak to you. Just tell me the name of the man who sold Mrs. Penredeck's pearls for her. Gallimore. Roger Gallimore. He has a jewelry company downtown. Thank you. Walter, darling. How do you like it, darling? I went to see Mr. Gallimore. He was a tall pink man of about 70, and he listened to my narrative of events with considerable interest. Five thousand seems like a great deal of money for a string of false pearls. Yes, indeed. That, Mr. Gallimore, is why I came to see you. I believe I can hazard a guess as to the reason for such an exorbitant demand. And I further believe that you were in a position to confirm my impression. And what might that impression be, Mr. Gallimore? I believe that the pearls are in fact real. You were a very old friend of Mrs. Penredeck, perhaps even a childhood sweetheart. When she gave you the pearls to sell, you did not sell to Mr. Gallimore. Instead, you gave her twenty thousand dollars of your own money and returned the pearls to her pretending that they were imitations of the original necklace. Son, you think a lot smarter than you talk. And then I am correct. Embarrassingly so, Mr. Gage. The pearls are real. Now, what would you like me to do? And trust me with five thousand dollars with which to retrieve them. Son, it is so long since I heard anyone talk the way Jane Austen writes that it is making a sucker out of you. Thank you, sir. I know that my language is a bit stilted. And so, Henry, Mr. Gallimore gave me this check. You mean he gave it to you? Five thousand fish? Just like that? You have said it. Kid, you got something with that Daisy Jane chatter of yours. Thank you, Henry. At any rate, all that now remains is for the phone to ring. You can say that again. Hello? Gage. Yes, who is this? Yes. It's in my pocket at this exact moment. If I have any assurance of honorable treatment, I am prepared to go through with it. Okay, got that. Yes. End of the dirt road. Be there at eight sharp. No smart wake, no slip up, and nobody hurt. That's the way we do business. Very well. Oh, one last thing. Where did you get my phone number? From Scandisi? Who else? Eight o'clock, then. It is very interesting. What? The telephone. Yeah, yeah. Hooray for Alexander Graham. What's his name? What did that guy say? Hmm? Oh, oh, yes, yes. It's all arranged. I am to meet them tonight all by myself and give them the money. All by yourself, huh? You're a real comedian. Why don't I, why don't I loosen my belt hole? But they'll take the dough and leave you laying there bleeding all over yourself, and they'll still have the marbles. I ought to go with you. Henry, it is my duty, and I must brave these monsters and human guys alone and unattended. Of course, I, I do have a big car, and you could hide on the floor under a rug. It's a cinch. But maybe... Walter, the only thing wrong with you as far as I can see, you got holes in your head. All I'm trying to do is keep you from getting another one. I'm going with you. So it was settled. Henry was to go with me. That afternoon, I stopped at the bank. Where I cashed Mr. Gallamo's check and changed it into $100 bills. Forty-six-hundred, forty-seven, forty-eight. You counted as though it were your own. Five thousand. Five thousand. Now, a roll of quarters, please. A roll of quarters, please. There's an echo in here. Leave them in the wrapper. Quite heavy, aren't they? Yes, aren't they? And so, late that evening, I found myself in Cathedral Park, with Henry Eichelberger, boy, in the back of the car. I was very nervous. I think Henry was also. Neither of us were any too sure of what was going to happen that night. What's the matter, Henry? Aren't you, uh, comfy back there? Oh, I'm... Peter keeps digging into me. Aren't we there yet? We're getting close. Now, stay down. This is business. At the end of the line, Henry, be careful, they're probably watching me. Don't you think we've waited long enough, Henry? Well, fifteen minutes. You sure this is the place? Yes. Let's get out of the car and see if anybody shoots at us. Then we'll know somebody's around. That seems to me the difficult way of finding out, but let's try it, as I personally feel sure that there is no one here but you and I. Captain Walter. What do you think, Henry? It was just a try out to see if you'd show. Suck it. I ought to go back and twist that scant easy so he spends the rest of his life looking up his left pants leg. Well, Henry, what is the next move? Peter on home, I guess. Anyhow, I won't need this gun anymore. My back is sore enough from it. We stood there and looked at one another. Henry and I. He doubled his hands into fists and shook them slowly in his sadness. I, too, was melancholy. In the brief time I'd known Henry, I had grown very fond of him. Yeah, that's it all right. Nothing else to do but Peter on home, Walter. That's all is left to us. I took my right hand out of my pocket. I have large hands. In my right hand nestled the roll of quarters I'd gotten from the bank that morning. My hand had made a large and heavy fist around him. Henry didn't notice. What are you looking at me so funny for, Walter? I just wanted to say goodnight, Henry. You had two strikes on me and this is the big one. I don't get it, Walter. He got it then. My fist with nearly a pound of metal in it caught him squarely on the jaw. For a moment he wavered back and forth on his feet then. Henry Eichelberger lay motionless on the ground as limp as a rubber glove. The pearls twined around his ankle inside his left sock. Well, Henry, I said, although he couldn't hear me, you are a gentleman even if you are a thief. You could have taken the money a dozen times today. You could have taken it a little while ago and had the gun, but even then, that propelled you. You threw the gun away and we were man to man but still you hesitated. In fact, Henry, I said for a successful thief you hesitated just a little too long. But as a sporting man, I can only think more highly of you. Goodbye, Henry, and good luck, I said. I put a hundred dollar bill in his chubby little fist and withdrew. End of story. But how did you know it was Henry, darling? You told me so little lemon cookie, you were quite sure of it. Well, I know but you must have had proof of some kind. There was one other minor little detail that convinced me Henry was the guilty party. I gave Scandisi my phone number but I have two telephones. One is a private line. Only two people had that number. You were one of them, Henry was the other. When Henry's accomplice got in touch with me, he used the phone number I'd given Henry, not the one I gave Scandisi. You see? Oh, darling, you're so clever. Of course. You may kiss me if you like. Months after Ellen and I were married, we received the letter post-Mark Honolulu. It was from Henry. My dear woman, squeeze on me. I have only just received the joyous tidings that you and Ellen are embarked upon. I have been tired of holy matrimony. I am so glad for you, particularly with an overwhelming curiosity as to what it was you struck me with that night. I dare say it can only be conjecture in my part now. Feelings of ill will toward talk, Mr. Gallimore, to $5,000 has changed my life. I have been taking English lessons myself, and I'm now practicing on a wealthy widow woman, not without financial success. Police sport. Default early to perchance an anvil? You know, Henry wasn't such a bad girl. All I really disliked him for was his barbaric English. Now he's changed now. Maybe I should have married him. What do you think, Walter? Yet you, a real comedian. Little I listen to myself. Suspense, presented by AutoLite. Tonight's star, Ray Malan. Mr. Wilcox, what's your batting average? Very high, Dora. 400 is a matter of fact. You see, I'm batting in AutoLite's big league of more than 400 fine products made by AutoLite for cars, trucks, planes and boats from 28 plants coast to coast. These include complete electrical systems used as original equipment on many makes of America's finest cars. Spark plugs, batteries, generators, coils, distributors, starting motors, bullseye-sealed beam headlights. All engineered to fit together perfectly, work together perfectly because they're a perfect team. So friends, don't accept electrical parts supposed to be as good. Ask for and insist on AutoLite, original factory parts at your neighborhood station, car dealer, garage or repair shop. Remember, you're always right with AutoLite. Next Thursday for suspense, our star will be Agnes Mohed. The play is called The Chain, and it is, as we say, a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. Tonight's suspense play was produced and edited by William Spear and directed by Norman McDonnell. Music for suspense is composed by Lucian Morrowek and conducted by Lud Bluskin. Pearls Our Nuisance is an original story by Raymond Chandler, adapted for radio by Ronald McDougal. Ray Milland appears by arrangement with Paramount Pictures, whose current release is Captain Carrie USA, starring Alan Ladd and Wanda Hendricks. AutoLite wishes to thank the readers of Radio Mirror Magazine, who have voted suspense the best mystery program for the second consecutive year. In the coming weeks, you will hear such stars as Claire Trevor, Donald O'Connor and Charles Boyet. Don't forget, next Thursday, same time, AutoLite will present suspense, starring Agnes Mohed. AutoLite's stateful batteries, AutoLite resistor or regular spark plugs, AutoLite electrical part at your neighborhood AutoLite dealers, switch to AutoLite. Good night. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.