 The Jack Benny program quality of product is essential to continuing success Let that historic chant remind you that year in year out lucky strike means fine tobacco It takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and LSMFT lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco in a cigarette It's the tobacco that counts and season after season at market after market Independent tobacco experts auctioneers buyers and warehousemen can see the makers of lucky strike Consistently select and buy that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco fine light naturally mild tobacco No doubt about it lucky strike means fine tobacco and fine tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Ladies and gentlemen, we take you out to Jack Benny's house in Beverly Hills where we find Jack and Rochester in the garage Hmm, I can't understand where the car won't start try it again Rochester. Yes, sir Try it again, Rochester. Oh, my daughter only says eighty eight thousand miles Oh, I'm gonna have to call mr. Harris and tell her pick me up on his way to the studio Oh, I did that before we came out to the garage. Oh Then you knew there was something wrong with the Rochester did you use my car last night? Rochester I just found a bobby pin on the front seat Yeah What are you laughing at there's only two of us here and it ain't much night to take your girl out How did it go funny and today it won't even start? Oh, you mean you lost a tire. Why didn't you come back home? The rim got caught in the trolley car traction up before I can make a left turn You and your girl a future when you want to go out joy writing borrow your friend's car You know who I mean Sam he loaned it to you once before Sam ain't got that car anymore He's got two motorcycles now. Oh traded his car in a no He's back into a bus did Sam get hurt the winter he'd have been twins. There's no use working with this Then you look with you Phil so long Rochester. I'll see you after the broadcast. Yes I'm sorry to take you out of your way Phil, but I couldn't get my car started You know Jackson when you bought that car it's too bad. You didn't wait just one more year They came out with a wonderful improvement. Yeah, what was it the pony express? All right, all right. Come on. Let's get to the studio Hey, this car really runs nice. Well, you know me Jackson nothing but the best for Harris Oh boy, what a fancy dashboard. What are all those buttons for that's a radio? I push this button and get Australia I push this button and get London this button China this button France and on up to eight countries. Gee my radio I've only got three buttons Anaheim Azusa and I can only get Anaheim when I'm in Azusa How do you get kukamanga short waves? They got a wonderful program from there to John's other smudge pot. I never miss it Oh boy, Phil. This is really a swell car. How much it cost Phil? $3,500 $3,500 Gee, I wish I had two shows The traffic light is changing. I see it. I see it. Watch it will you get Oh Martha look who's sitting in that car Jack Benny well, isn't that the coincidence three weeks ago? We were standing here and he drove by then do yes, isn't he handsome Oh Martha what are you crying about? Well, I can't help it when mr. Benny was in vaudeville. He was my husband's favorite comedian Well, that's nothing to cry about. I was thinking of my husband. He's been dead for 40 years I've just noticed who's sitting next to mr. Benny who look rail boxback my coat and button my shoes If it isn't ham hearts and turnip greens Go over to the car and ask some third autograph. Oh, no Emily. Do you think we're trying to pick them up? Gee those those two old ladies are sweet. You know Phil I saw them at the football game yesterday Oh, did you go jackson? There was such a mob out there. How'd you ever park your car? Oh, I didn't take my car. It was such a nice day. I decided to swim Fortunately it was downstream You can get my car starter and then we got held up in traffic Oh, that's all right jack. We filled in with a couple of orchestra numbers Good good down, but who led the band? What does he know about music? Are you kidding jackson? Frank is the natural He was born with a banjo on his knee He was yeah, they had to operate on him before they could get his pants on Still in palm springs. So when we do our play tonight, we'll have to Hello, mr. Benny Hello, Dennis. Hello, Phil. How are you kids? Hello, Don. Hello, Dennis. Hello, Mary I guess she's mad at me She's not mad at you. Mary isn't here. She's in palm springs. Oh Now don well if she isn't mad, why doesn't she call me up? She has no reason to call Dennis take my word for it if Mary were here. She'd say hello to you. Oh, yeah. Well, I wouldn't even answer her Now don yes jack as you know two weeks ago We were going to do our version of the killers, but we had to postpone it until tonight. Who does she think she is anyway? Dennis I told you Mary's in palm springs now. Will you please forget it? Okay Say jack uh before you tell me about the play tonight Do you mind if I talk to you about a very delicate subject? Delicate subject What is it don the quartet is here ready to do the commercial Don uh look uh don i want to talk to you a minute not in anger look here Look down just a nice Friendly chat sit down sit down don well. There isn't any chair here. Well sit on the quartet Go ahead Get up you're hurting them. Let's get one thing straight the quartet is through Finish listen jack give them one more chance and if you don't like what they've prepared for today I'll never bother you again. Don look come on boys. He'll trovatore. I don't want he'll trovatore ls mft ls mft don he'll try to find the back door Yes, lucky strike means find the back door don he'll trovatore as our feature attraction We're going to do our version of mark hellinger's thrilling exciting universal international picture The famous hemmingway story Women who walk into a little lunch room looking for a guy called The swede It's midnight and the lunch room is deserted Except for one lonely customer go bite eat and then go home Yeah, I wish I could close up and go home myself This place is quieter than a coal mine Say charlie, uh, don't the swede usually drop in about this time? Yeah, hasn't been in now for two or three weeks Understand. He's sick in bed. Oh a democrat, huh? I miss him too. He used to stay here for hours. Just sitting by the jukebox listening to the Missouri wall How'd you like some squab baked in wine? Nah You got any ham hock student bourbon? Just bring me the juice. Say curly Next week when you come here, you won't know this joint It's going to be real ritzy new curtains and drapes and rugs on the floor Nice new lampshades and everything. This lunch room is going to be beautiful. Well, it's about time This joint looks like the sweatband out of the brown derby I'm going to fix everything fact. I've already hired the interior decorators Say curly hurry up and finish eating. Well, you had such a nasty night. I want to close up and go home I'll be through in a minute How about a napkin use the drapes. I'm getting new one Sir, I can just see the way this place is going to What's the matter charlie? Look out the window Two guys just tipped off the curb and are crossing the street I never seen them before. Yeah They look kind of tough. Hey I'm getting out of here. No, no, no, don't go. I don't want to be here alone One of them guys it looks like edward g robinson Hey, look they're coming this way Yeah What'll it be gentlemen? I say What'll it be gentlemen? Gentlemen, what'll it be? What are you shaking for blue eyes to close up gentlemen? So if you Want something to eat you better order it Hey, uh slugger. What is it eddie? Well, you have You can have some ham and eggs or some corned beef hash Or a mixed green salad close up this joint So you better order get out of here because if you don't I'll call the police Well, do you hear that slugger? Blue eyes is going to call the police. Yes, I am And one move out of you and I'll fill you so full of holes. You look like a cheese sweet sandwich Would you follow I love dancing them and do as I tell you see If not, you'll get hurt see I get me something to eat see and be quick about it. Look Yes, I'm a citizen. I pay my taxes. I got my rights and you can you can't come in here and push me around Oh, we can't huh? No you wait a minute. What are you reaching your back pocket for? Yes, my handkerchief your handkerchief. Yeah You must have a bad cold I just took those shots for it. Look will you follow us wait a minute now? I know who you guys are You're the killers. You're looking for the swede. Do you hear that slugger? Bright boy thinks we're looking for the swede. Well ain't we been looking for no swede? No, that boy we're ain't looking for no swede. We came in here to talk to you Me? Yeah you We heard you're going to get this dump redecorated. Yes, I am but What's that got to do with you? Well, we want to know something What? Who are you getting your chance from? Lining for your drapes. I'm not going to have them lined You're going to have drapes and you're going to have them lined you're getting them from us see I can't get them from you. I'm buying all my curtains and drapes from johnson and company right on the corner Johnson ain't there anymore. You mean to say that? What's that johnson? He just passed by always johnson You guys can't frighten me. I'm buying my curtains drapes and chins from anybody. I like see and that gun in your hand ain't scare me either See, I don't even think you can shoot straight. Oh, I can't huh? See that are all plates up there. Yeah, well watch this And the plate next to it And the plate on the other side I put a curve on now you took three shots before and three shots now you're out of bullets Now I ain't bright boy. This is a never-sharp gun It's got a six month supply of lead pocket clip Hey, you know the gun I have only shoot six times Look Here, I'll show you See Hey, that's a pretty nice gun you got there You darn right it is now come on now Up with your hand both of you. Oh, you want to shoot it out, huh? Well take that I'm dying slugger. I knew the day would come I knew I couldn't get away with it. Everything's getting dark I can't see i'm dying slugger They finally got me Me little cedar Goodbye slugger. I'm dying I'm dying dying Well, fall down you big ham Common sense will tell you in a cigarette It's the tobacco that counts and lucky strike means fine tobacco mr. George alfred webster Independent tobacco warehouseman of Durham, north carolina has seen millions of pounds of tobacco bought and sold at auction And he said at market after market at auction after auction I've seen the makers of lucky strike by fine tobacco tobacco that makes one grand smoke I've smoked luck is myself for 29 years year in year out Independent tobacco experts like mr. Webster Men who spend their lives buying selling and handling tobacco can see the makers of lucky strike Consistently select and buy that fine that light that naturally mild tobacco fine white naturally mild tobacco Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco. So remember ls mft lucky strike means fine tobacco And fine tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank edward g robinson for appearing with us tonight through the courtesy of the failure productions producers of that soon To be released picture the red house We'll be with you next sunday at the same time. Good night, mary. Good night, mary. Good night, Herman Herman i'm mad at mary. Oh, yes. Yes. I forgot. Good night This is nbc the national broadcasting