 Good afternoon and welcome to this interactive session on workplace communication To begin with I would like to introduce my friend Stephen who comes from JP Morgan He has more than 22 years of experience Out of his last 10 years has been in JP Morgan itself Interestingly he's an engineer like most of us and I believe first few years He's spent in doing engineering jobs but then people around him recognize the his qualities of Communicating and teaching people how to communicate well So since then he has become a trainer and he actually conducts training programs for leadership as well We are very happy and fortunate to have him with us So, thank you Stephen for joining us I would like to thank you Pleasure Stephen so Without further ado Let us start going over to remote centers which have inquiries or questions May I request remote centers to raise their hands so that we know which remote centers are eager to ask a question related to Workplace communication or Amrita school column Nice seeing all of you, you know, I had given a talk in that very hall where you are sitting Welcome to this program and over to you Hello, sir Hello, please go ahead. I Wish to ask some question about communication. It was on the previous section By that time we went to the new section for as sirs told the person is for leadership and can I ask about the communication? You can ask any question under the Sun as teachers We are expected to have an opinion about any aspect of Everything in life. So don't worry about it. Our answers may not exactly be pertinent, but we'll try our best Please go ahead. Thank you, sir. Thank you so much, sir I like doing marketing or Selling if I am a good marketing person then if I if I get an opportunity to talk with the CEO of a company to sell my product then How can I speak like? Can I be more friendly or completely official? formal Completely formal and because I need my product to be sold. I need that person to take my thing So, how can I can I start? How can I make him involved in me? Good question, but you did not tell us your name. I'm Rohit. Thank you. Rohit. It's I think an important question and good question What Steven like to Of course, of course, of course. So Rohit, I agree with professor. It is a very good question So let me ask you a question back if Rohit had to buy something from someone Who would you buy it from? Let me give you two scenarios One is a person you have never met before Meets you and gives you a product and tells you to buy it. That's the first scenario second is somebody whom you trust who understands what you need and Then sells you the same product Whom are you more likely to buy it from the first or the second I know second Yes, I'll be so convenient in involving in business with him and the difference between the two is The second person you trust The second person knows your needs what you really need and The second person is able to show you how the product that you are buying will meet those needs now all these three were missing in the first Situation I gave you where there was very little trust because you did not know the person The person was trying to sell you a product without you knowing what your needs were and It made you a little suspicious of their intentions and you decided not to buy so I would urge you to think about that as you as you consider your question about how to Influence people to buy what you said Water it's like I'm a complete stranger to this person. Okay, so can I add something? So actually if you discern his answer I Think the inputs which are required For the person who is going to meet the CEO for the first time the essential inputs are there in his answer Look at what he said first of all You need to have the trust of the CEO Now since you are meeting the CEO for the first time You have only a few initial moments to start building that trust But you have to build that trust. That's the fundamental requirement the second associated thing is You know exactly what the CEO needs That means you should have studied What exactly are the requirements of the organization that you are going to sell your product to and You should know what are the pinpoints that the organization has Perhaps it is not just the product but after-sales service Perhaps it is the packaging perhaps it is timely delivery. Perhaps it is price What it means is that before meeting the CEO? You should have done an exhaustive study of what that organization and CEO requires And that study should be so well prepared that every utterance of yours Indicates to the CEO that you have understood the needs of that organization and that CEO In fact this itself will help in building the trust The point is you are meeting the CEO for the first time so the first few moments you have to use as icebreaker You had a very specific question. Should you be very formal or should you be very friendly? So let me also ask you a counter question Of course, you should be reasonably formal and of course you should be friendly. How do you do both? You know friendly does not mean you start chatting about the weather or cricket or something like that The friendliness has to be conveyed through your actions and your speech Now the actions means your gestures. I'll give you a simple tip You go there and you sit like this shake hands and just just sit like this as a as a block Or you just smile You know a simple smile on your face will convey a whole lot of friendliness Without getting into any banter at all, but many of us don't do that. We are stiff because we are afraid When we are meeting a CEO, we are afraid of how will we treat it? Unless you treat that CEO in your mind as a friendly person, you will never be able to behave like a friend and This behavior has to be indicated in that short meeting through such small gestures. Am I right? Absolutely, I think that also connects with this topic for today, which is non-verbal Communication if you have gone through the pre-work, you will find only 7% of the impact is made by what you say that is the actual words that you use 93% is all Non-verbal and that is exactly what professor said the smile the way you look into the person's eyes The way you shake hands The way you speak does it build trust or does it not build trust? So if you so if you are in sales You will need to master the art of non-verbal communication. It's not an option You have to be a specialist in non-verbal communication Yeah, I would I would add one more thing. He emphasized that if you are in sales, you have no option I would go further and say Every engineering student or in fact every student who wants to get into the corporate life Actually has no option Whether I'm talking to CEO to sell a product or whether I'm talking to my own manager or whether I'm talking to my own colleague The element of trust building is essential The element of conveying exactly what you want to say in a pleasant manner is essential And I think therefore the non-verbal communication should be perfected by all people who aspire to become good professionals So I hope this answers your question right? Yes, it was yeah, it was too good to know about these things Thank you. Thank you. Let's go over to the next remote center knowledge institute Good known sir. Am I audible? Oh, you are very much audible and very nicely visible. Tell us your name and carry on I'm Geetan's Lee sir doing my CSC I Have one question being a fresher. How can I handle humiliation and discriminations at the workplace? So I'm not exposed such a duration before so how can I handle such a duration if I encounter it in future? That's my question actually Both professor Patsati and the lala are not here who are experts on the topic Unfortunately, I'm a very bad guy poorly placed to answer this question Because in IIT, Bombay, we have neither faced such discrimination nor we are permitted to have such discrimination so we have men and women working together shoulder to shoulder and Any discriminatory behavior by anyone is simply not tolerated But I think all human beings are not so fortunate and there are workplaces where this perhaps does not happen Unfortunately, I must admit that I have no competence to answer this question comprehensively But I'll pass it on to both partha and dr. Dallal I don't know Steven might want to add something on this because you might have seen such situations Yes, yes, so the situation that you have asked actually can it can have two Variations yeah, it can have two variations one is you yourself have been the recipient of some Harassment or discrimination the second one can be you have witnessed someone else be the recipient of a harassment or Discrimination and your response in both the situations can be to express your concerns to the human resource department if you are not able to speak to your manager and so your two avenues for expressing your concern will be your manager and If you would like to the human resource department So you have somebody to listen to your concerns and then guide you how to go from there But very good question Question sir, can I yeah, please please go ahead Being a South Indian there are racial discrimination possible even for me if I work tend to work in North India Or some other countries abroad there may be racial discrimination possible No, how can I handle that situation if it encountered in future? Good, I will answer this question You are mentioning South India and North India I have been Fortunate to have traveled across the world and let me tell you Racial discrimination is inbuilt into the mindset of many societies across the world And what you call racial discrimination in India? Let me assure you is not at all a racial discrimination. It is merely a Behavioral trend coming out of dealing with different people But let me tell you India is fortunate in that the differences in culture and the differences in people are so many That it is impossible for any workplace to have only coherent set of people and therefore Such discrimination that you are afraid of you will not face believe me Not the racial discrimination that you talk of I can tell you empty Gory stories of how racial discrimination is faced by Indians in so-called developed nations Okay, so relax. We are in a much better society and Actually the diversity of India is our strength Having said that I will also add to what Stephen answered Of course, you must take it up with the human resource manager or whatever it is But more important than that is to prepare a mindset and discipline not to take such things lying down Whether you are the recipient of such behavior or whether you observe such behavior being mated out to any one of your Colleagues you must never take it lying down You must take the matter up. You can say key. Chaltah. I don't know kind of thing That is one second thing is You should also observe yourself whether Inadvertently your behavior to others is also not amounting to such discrimination Believe me. I have seen very strong-minded ladies who actually have the reverse discrimination okay, and Everywhere including in IIT we would have such cases So it is the discrimination is not limited to men or women or is not limited to one racial group on other leisure group But by and large the people are accommodative by and large people will behave well Aberrations will happen aberrations happen in every human society So the last point that I would like to make is if and when such aberrations occur and whether you are a recipient of such Discrimination or whether you notice something do take it up, but don't make the mountain of a mole Please remember that eventually you and all your colleagues Including those few who inadvertently or by design indulge in such discrimination all have to continue to work together So please ensure that you sort out this issue Amicably because all of you still have to work together for a very long time to come I think Yes, yes, absolutely And I I guess since the question is also coming from students who will be starting your first job in your first Organizations, so therefore that apprehension might be valid But like professor said to enter into organizations with a more open mindset a lot of progressive Organizations today value diversity value inclusion, so every disagreement or Misunderstanding is not racial discrimination because we are a country of diverse culture So if you put a North Indian and a South Indian together There are so many differences in customs and traditions and maybe speak not all of that is Necessarily racial discrimination So you also have to train yourself to discern whether something is a matter of our own diversity we are culturally rich and We do same things in many different ways or is it racial discrimination? You will have to discern that but enter into your first job with a lot more open mindset and I'm sure it will be a more pleasant experience than you anticipate So I have another question too, can I wow you're most welcome you see who is dominating the conversation now Welcome Gita Anjali. Go ahead So should I adapt to the situation to the environment or should I be myself in handling such discriminations? That's my question makes sense. The question makes eminent sense But translated into two extreme options. This question means should I meekly accept whatever is happening? Or should I stoutly resist and my answer is exactly the same Charter the middle path don't take anything lying down, but don't make a scene out of this scenario Okay, try to resolve this issue as quietly as possible without hurting sensitivities of others and believe me You will figure that out But as long as you are very clear in your mind that your main ambition is to not make Somebody look down upon but your main ambition is to correct the wrong behavior. I think you will succeed So therefore do merge with the background because that is what the background is of the workplace But don't lose your identity ever After all you are you and each one of us is a unique person Now how to balance these two? Believe me in the first six months of your work in the workplace will automatically teach you but keep your eyes ears and mind open to these inputs and Constantly question your own behavior and your own activities so that they remain Pleasant to people and you would be recognized more as a problem solver rather than a person who is very adamant on something or very meek Either extreme according to me is bad. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Gitanjali. Could we go over to another institution? I am Bhavika from APIIT, SD, India If in an organization a higher authority has done something wrong And he's imposing his mistake on me. Then what should I do? Can you give one or two examples of the so-called wrong where the word wrong Might have multiple meanings. You see what I consider wrong. Somebody else may consider right about to Completed by him and he Has not completed at time and impose that mistake on me So you're worried about a blame game being played Something has gone wrong and that you are being held responsible. Is that you are worried? Pressure Parasarthi is here. He was about to go back, but we called him back So can you please repeat this question again for his benefit? Over to you. Well if I am in a company and a higher authority has done some mistake and he's imposing his mistake on me, then what should I do? Okay, so you're asking a very difficult question So in as Mr. Steven was saying earlier in progressive workplaces, you're actually encouraged to speak up and point out mistakes In staff meetings or group meetings. You're asked to point out and give positive as well as negative feedback So in such cases good CEOs encourage people to Give feedback and then you know even critique whatever mistakes they have made but in case You have Person who is very adamant and not willing to accept mistakes Then what you what there are two or three different kinds of alternatives that we can choose one is to Discuss it with other colleagues and as a group make this representation The second is there are also intermediaries between you and the CEO So you take it up at other levels and try to point out So the it's all it also depends on how we point out You know if we criticize something very strongly then it becomes a matter of ego But if you put it politely and say that it may have been a mistake or there is some mistake in Calculation or you may have overlooked something the way in which you put something people tend to accept it Yeah, so you know at the end of the last session I had made an announcement that this second session today will be about non-verbal communication So you have seen these videos by professor Fartek We had uploaded assignments also and quizzes on non-verbal communication So I would request all the There was a good announcement, but I would still like to add to professor Partha's answer You mentioned that some senior has made a mistake and is imposing that mistake on me Don't you think that it is almost a natural human behavior everywhere in the world Think of n number of mistakes that you would have committed in life and tell me how many times You were bold enough and courageous enough to say first hand that it was my mistake And how many times inadvertently you did not try to blame someone else for the mistake So please understand that this is a human phenomena and when somebody blames you for someone's mistake That someone is actually doing it out of a natural defensive mechanism Not necessarily with a desire to blame you if instead of you some of your other colleagues was there that person might blame that colleague It is basically I'm a senior person. I made a mistake I do not have the courage to accept that mistake, but the mistake has happened So I need to put the responsibility and accountability to someone the easiest targets are my subordinates Please understand that this behavior will happen and this behavior may happen even from you when you become a senior It's not easy. It it took me a lot of time to understand the importance of this courage to say Yes, I made this mistake and this attitude has benefited me Now the best is number one develop that attitude in yourself number two, please understand that a mistake might occur in an organization Not necessarily because somebody's intent Intending to do that mistake. Nobody intends to do mistake. Mistake is a mistake. It's like an accident Therefore again, you will have to resolve this issue as Stephen said earlier Have a discussion amongst your colleagues and politely point out to your senior that sir this mistake is not done by you However, if you take an attitude of proving to that senior that the mistake is that of the senior You are only going to hurt the ego of the senior. He or she will take it that you are becoming a very adamant person And wrongly implicating him or her So the idea is to somehow diffuse the matter by saying yes a mistake has happened At best we are all collectively responsible for it and we will all together ensure that such mistakes will not happen again but please note that the need to blame someone else is universal and That person is not doing it merely because he or she is senior The person is doing it because of the natural need felt emotionally by that person Nobody likes to say I made that mistake. Are a part of must have been wrong Stephen make a lot of kia And if I'm a senior person, I say very authoritatively you have made that mistake now Stephen has two choices using his height and Big shoulders you may give me a punch saying what nonsense you are talking with father or the other way round is He will just smile it out and say let us see the mistake has happened but perhaps we will ensure that it will not happen again and Being a wise person. I'm sure Stephen will adopt the second approach So I hope that completes that answer Alright, so now we'll request the remaining remote centers who have raised hands to please ask us a question related to nonverbal communication in the workplace and Of course, you are free to raise questions, but we may refuse to answer them What we'll do is we will note those questions and pass them all to Dalvi Dalvi Doctor Dalvi and Partha Fortunately, Partha is here, but I must let him go back to his own work. Thank you, Partha I will go over to the next remote center Nellore Science and Technology over to you. Good evening, sir I am Suryabha go pursuing 4040 mechanical I has a long doubt since many days about nonverbal communication, sir When we are giving you if I got a chance to present my presentation in front of audience When I am presenting my presentation peacefully a audience a person in the audience started creating not nuisance in the Area and which makes which make our presentation distracted But if I have seen him, I have gazed at him to make him to be silent even even then he's not Getting calm and he's creating no more noise. How can I control the situation without disturbing my Presentation as well as using nonverbal communication, sir. I can I can take that having been a faculty for many many years So when you present or when you are facing an audience the time that you have In order to make your presentation That is your time. It's your moment because you have some very Important messages that you want to communicate to your audience So I will tell you what I would do if I was in your situation If there is one person who refuses to pay attention refuses to listen. I I Immediately stop talking and I use the power of the pause So at times the greatest impact is made by not saying anything So the moment I do that The rest of the class is quiet. There is one person who is Making the disruption guess where everybody is going to look They're all going to look at that one person who is making the disruption and they know that this presenter is not going to continue Till there is pin drop silence in the class So use the power of your pause. I know that Disruptive audiences come in many forms and shapes So this helps with a few of them, but there will be similar strategies You can adopt for other disruptive candidates as per professor will also know many such strategies from your own experience But I would entirely agree with Stephen the power of pause is enormous When you are speaking and somebody is causing a disturbance if you just look at that person and Remains silent even for a few seconds believe me the entire class starts looking at that person because you are looking at that person and It is generally impossible for such trouble maker to face the weight of the glare of the entire class They'll invariably stop In my classes also a face many times that there are some conversations going on at the back end and if the conversations start disturbing the class I Simply announced during my lecture that oh, there is some very important discussion going on in that corner I'll wait for it to subside and start looking at that corner and then the entire class starts looking at that corner and sheepishly those people Stop of course. There are different ways of handling. I mean for a teacher. It is not uncommon To request someone to leave the class immediately. I remember an instance in 1965 when I was a student like you and three students in the class were Talking to each other disturbing the whole class the teacher who was unfortunately not very good in English He suddenly stopped and shouted at them both of you three get out and the whole class started laughing half at the Joke that the teacher created by using wrong English But the three people got the message and they left the class if you are a student speaker speaking to other students You do not have a privilege of asking people to be thrown out, but believe me 95 out of 100 times this power of the pause will solve this problem Sir, I has another question. Yes, I want a suggestion from you That is can you please tell me what are the ways we can attend the interview that is we can Show our body guesses to make the interview we feel positive about us Okay, so again, I believe there was an earlier session on interviewing Where you know many of these principles were covered So if you would like to watch that video one more time, you will get a few insights, but let me answer your question you need to understand that an interview normally lasts for 30 minutes to maybe 45 minutes and In that limited time the first few minutes are what is used to make the first impression and The first impression matters a lot It starts even before the interview the way your bio data is written if it is written shabbily An impression is already formed if there are spelling mistakes an impression is already formed If you are late for the interview an impression is already formed if your clothes are not ironed Then you are not well groomed impression is already formed. So the first Impression is very important and you can work on that even before the interview Now if you do all the right things the advantage is the first few minutes you have already created a favorable impression in the mind of the interviewer and From then on the only other principle I will leave with you is to make sure that your non verbal matches your verbal So an example I can give is if you are asked to talk about a project Which you have done and what was your contribution in that project? You might have accomplished a lot on that project But if you do not give eye contact to the interviewer if your voice is very feeble it is not very clear and you are even struggling to put together Your response the interviewer has no choice But to believe that you have not contributed on that project you are making it up So it's very important that your non-verbal Matches your verbal if you have done a good job on a project you have to even Deliver that emphatically which means clear eye contact with a clear voice and With a lot of confidence. So those are the few principles I will leave with you, but there is a lot more you can read on the portal I would like to add two things on what he said one is supplementing him Because the confidence level must come from factually correct information that you have Please remember always that you can never bluff your way out in an interview You might think you are very smart, but the interview panel usually is smarter. I will recite a very small Incidents which happened many years ago When a panel of us were interviewing people for admission to intake program in IIT Bombay in those days We did not have gate. So we used to have a written test and the shortlisted people would be interviewed Now one of the persons who came in was asked a question by a colleague of mine This person was an IIT student. So he knew all of us except one person who asked this question The reason he did not know this person was Professor Kumar had just returned back from England after his higher studies. So he was not there for three years What the student thought was that this fellow is an outsider and therefore was may not be well-versed in technology Professor Kumar asked me asked him to describe the features of magnetic tape controller Which was available with the Russian machine EC 1030 Now this guy who did not know anything about magnetic tape controllers Wrongly surmised that this odd-looking person will also not know anything about it and therefore started bluffing his way out Kumar kept smiling and let him speak for about two minutes at the end of two minutes He told him my dear young man, you know absolutely nothing about magnetic tape controllers Study these for one year and come back next year So this should tell you never ever to bluff if you do not know an answer to a question It is much better to either ask some time if you have any clues through which you can compile your answer in your mind or Very very politely say sorry, sir. I do not know the answer for this question That is one the second and this more important point I would like to make not only to you but to all the participants of all remote centers Please note that for preparing for such important events. We all need practice and practice for such Activities can happen through what we call mock interviews what prevents you from collecting four or five people together in A class where those people can be made to represent the selectors and one by one You go and appear for the interview We have such mock presentations for all important seminars by our B. Take M. Taken PhD students We do have such mock interviews conducted with the help of some faculty. I Would strongly encourage that the local coordinators in your college could organize such mock interviews By calling one or two of their industry friends It is not necessary that everybody participates in that mock interview But if the class is held like what you are doing and On the stage an interview is held then by observing just five or six people as to how they appear for the interview It would be believe me. It is a very very great coaching indirectly that happens to us Preferably if you can record such group happenings because today video recording is very simple This is what I have been advice advising everybody Any non-verbal communication not just interviews Presentations or whatever do it in small groups. You can actually use a simple webcam or a small handicap to record the events And then after recording go through those recordings very carefully Writing down, you know the mistakes that you make in your gestures the mistakes that you make in your pronunciation Believe me that will help you a lot Communication whether verbal or non-verbal is not something that can be learned by listening to lectures or listening to videos It has to be practiced and what better way to practice then amongst your own Colleagues among your own groups the point is this requires Non-trivial effort and time to be spent by groups Alone you will not be able to benefit. So my request to all students who are listening to this conversation Is form small groups five ten people and make presentations form groups of interview selectors a mock interview with the help of your teachers and others and Give this mock interview. Believe me by watching the recording of these mock interviews Every one of you will learn a lot more and then you can prepare yourself better We'll definitely plan for it, sir I'll practice. It's definitely, sir. Thank you. Thank you so much Hello, hello, please go ahead. Yes Mirroring I'm hearing it for the first time. So I look forward to benefiting from Stevens answer to this all yours. Yeah. Yeah So so basically, you know, this is An ability to understand what the other person is saying or doing or feeling so for instance I Mean just let me move away from the interview context and let me come to a personal Relational context. So let's say you have a close friend Who is also studying with you and you meet the person in the morning The person looks a little discouraged. It's not his or her use you know usual self and They are very very discouraged now when you inquire about how are you doing? You cannot ask them in a manner where you are very excited So you have to mirror The fact that they are discouraged. So the question or the question the way you might ask will mirror What you are seeing from the other side? So it is an ability to catch the non-verbal cues of The people you relate with now and and to mirror that back. So in an interview context You know, we often say that if you sit Relaxed in this way with your legs stretch forward it suggests a certain casual demeanor but if your interviewer is leaning forward and Showing a lot of interest in hearing your response mirroring would mean that I am able to catch that interest Which the interviewer is showing me and I can mirror that same behavior by also Leaning forward and that is a way you can communicate non-verbally So no words are spoken but you are able to catch What the other person is feeling or saying or doing non-verbally and you are able to reciprocate back Non-verbally that is what mirroring is No words are spoken, but still you have communicated Yes, I gave the example of how you can you know use mirroring To sense what the other person is feeling and then to mirror that own feeling back to them So it helps you to build trust. It helps you to build connection with people Okay. Thank you, sir Over to you, Meph Koshlang Hello, sir. This is Subash, person in third year in Meph Koshlang Engineering College I just wanted to ask you a question regarding non-verbal communication If it is a situation like I'm just using some verbal communication to someone And at last I just had some symbolic representation to conclude that statement And it is convinced in a wrong manner. How could I tackle the situation? Okay. Again, you know, could you give an example? You have just given us a situation Could you throw some light on the situation by giving an example? Subash, right? Give an example When I'm describing a person in a positive manner for a long time And at last I just Stated some few words regarding that person in a negative manner And I just taken my head in another way That is not in a positive way But from the first I have just used positive statements to describe a person And how could that person infer from these words And how could he connect both verbal and non-verbal communication? Yeah, so you have asked a very important question And also it is a question that takes people some time Okay, so let me answer that question So I'm going to come to a situation, Subash, where I meet you in your college And, you know, let's say, you know, you ask me, so how are you doing? So I tell you, I'm fine, I'm doing very good But my facial expression does not, it does not convey the same Now you have a dilemma The dilemma is that Stephen has said he is fine, he's having a great day But his facial expression does not show that he is fine or he's having a great day Now one of the two is wrong, either what I have said is wrong Or my facial expression is wrong Which would you rather believe? Verbal communication, that is your facial expression Isn't that interesting? Only two... Isn't that interesting? Which means human beings, when we see this disconnection Between what is said and what is seen Our natural tendency is to believe what we see So the situation that you gave me, it cannot be rectified by any amount of verbal communication Because your actions have in a way contradicted what you say And the only way you can rectify that is to acknowledge it And to say that maybe the way I said it did not come out quite well Let me try again, I'm going to say it differently this time And I really mean it And I can assure you the second time you say it A, it will come out much more impactfully B, also your ability to take responsibility for what you have communicated That will show that you are a person of integrity And you are an authentic leader So that is what I would do if ever what I am communicating Gives mixed signal to the people I am communicating Professor, please add anything Absolutely marvelous answer Two important points which I would repeat Number one, no amount of words alone are going to negate A negative impact made by gestures or even by a small slip of tongue or whatever And I think it's a wonderful answer It would require a lot of guts to do that by the way Because you are acknowledging your own mistake Remember to some other question I had answered That it's not easy for human beings to accept that mistake But the true character and true leadership is shown When the moment you realize this mistake I like this, you just raise your hand And say sorry I should have said things differently Let me try it again and do that So you are correcting yourself But without feeling guilty about it But indicating adequately that you have realized your mistake And you are correcting it And some gesture like this Not with the broken hand that I have Perhaps a better hand I think that would help I think that would help I like that answer, thank you Thank you Subash One more Yes That is also a kind of situation Consider two persons are talking That is communicating with each other in a workplace And they are about to end their communication And the third person is entering into their conversation And just asking what all the things you have spoken so far And how I conclude all those things which I have spoken for a long time That third person Yes, yes, so if I may ask you Subash What would be the dilemma you face in summarizing it What's the dilemma? Motivation? No, the question is Suppose you are one of the two persons And that third person comes and asks you What is the problem that you face at that juncture? You mentioned one I just got some patient No, how can you explain Whatever you have done for ten minutes So how will you conclude the ten minutes of conversation to the third person? That means you have two problems One is you believe you do not have sufficient time anymore To repeat whatever you have discussed earlier to this third person So you don't want to waste your time The second is you don't think it is worth your while To spend another ten minutes explaining the same thing to the second person I think a whole lot depends upon how important that third person is To the discussion that is going on If that third person is also part of the team Then he or she should have been there in your discussion to begin with If it did not happen And if he or she was still apart Later on you will anyway communicate the gist of your discussion However if that third person is only an onlooker You might simply say oh that's alright It did not concern you or some such thing But this is a very unique problem Let me also apply my mind I have never faced this situation Let me recall what people do when I barge into their conversation And I ask them what is going on Unfortunately I am too old and people are too polite So they unfortunately waste their time in relating to me in details I will have to be more careful in future But I think that's a very good question Let me just bring in a workplace context to this So let's say Swabash that you are along with a team of people You are in the cafeteria and of your company where you are working And you are having tea and coffee And over tea and coffee you are discussing a very important problem That is relevant to all members of the team And you have almost found the solution to the problem And just as soon as you are about to leave the cafeteria Comes along your fifth friend who is your teammate and your colleague And that person says hey Swabash what are you all talking about Now at that moment if there is not a inclination To summarize and to tell the person this is Most people what they tend to do is Nothing yeah let's go And your actions therefore it is communicating that you are not important to me Or you are not important to the team So I think what professor said there is one important principle or key there Key is that person important to the context of what is being discussed And if that person is important and if I do not give that person The right summarization then my non-verbal behavior Might suggest to that person that you are not important But when you are asked you might say no no Harish is very important Member of the team but actions suggest otherwise So this goes back to what you say and what you do So bear in mind your actions in a group context They are also communicating a lot of things Not always by what is said by what is not said also I hope that answers your question Swabash Of course Okay we will go over to the next remote center which is MS Bidway engineering college Latur Over to you Latur My name is Shraddha Kulkarni and I have a question Suppose sir we are working in a company and we are working in a team And we have to perform a task or a project in a group And we are working hard to do that project And I am working hard and any one of my group member took the credit And behave in front of the boss like he had done the work Then how should we behave in such situation Should we tell the boss that I have done it or should we just keep come and let him take the credit This is my question Yes I think we had a similar question about blame This is a question about credit So do you think the answer that professor gave sometime back about shifting of blame Also applies to the situation you have mentioned where somebody takes credit for what they have not done What is common in the two situations is you are being deprived of something that Belongs to you or something that you should get credit for So do you think the answer to the previous situation is relevant here also Shraddha So what Stephen was referring to is that earlier there was a question on somebody blaming you for a mistake This time there is a question of somebody stealing the credit from you The situation is very similar according to Stephen So the answer that I gave earlier where you try to politely point out that the blame is not yours In exactly the same fashion perhaps you can politely point out that the credit is not only hers or him's but also mine So there are ways and means of doing it and that can be amicably settled But let me tell you my own experience generally if somebody has not done any work at all That person will be very hesitant to take the credit for that work This credit grabbing will happen only when someone has done at least some part of the work Just like blame game is very popular with human beings credit adoption is also equally popular I have a simple solution to it there have been occasions when I or some of my colleagues have been able to achieve something very large And there are ten different people who are claiming the credit And I have jokingly said that my dear friend if so many people are trying to take the credit for a job done That means I must have done it well and I should simply enjoy the fact that I have done that job very well How does it matter who takes the credit? But just look at it from the psychological angle just as getting a wrong blame is very disastrous for your psyche Similarly somebody else taking the credit for what you have done is also disastrous The point is you are reacting in both situations because you have permitted yourself to be affected by what is happening Without getting so affected if you fight for correcting the situation then that would be the right thing That means if somebody is taking the credit what you should politely point out again not letting that person be looked down upon But simply politely point out that this is a team work all of us have done that work He or she has also done his or her bit but we have also done equally well But it must be remembered that any group work is essentially an accomplishment of the group Believe me the person to whom such credit claims are being made would generally be your manager or some leader And believe me that leader if he or she is worth the sword they will immediately understand who the people are How the group has performed and who are the real workers So simply because somebody is taking the credit it does not mean that it is understood in that context by the leaders Rest assured that there are enough smart people in your organization at least as smart as you are And just as you know within yourself that the work is not done by him or her but also done by me Similarly that person will understand because that person will know all of you individually and collectively over many situations Not just one product not just one project so don't worry too much but as I said last time don't take it lying down either Make the facts very clear as politely as possible but don't take it lying down and do it in such a manner Such that the person claiming credit is not being made to look down upon because eventually You may still have to work with the same person collectively in this or another group in future months and years I can just add one related aspect again from noticing students in corporates over many years You have somebody else taking credit maybe because you also need to take credit for your own work Sometimes we feel shy to take credit for our own work you may have done a very good job But you might not feel very good about talking about it or telling people that this is the good job that I have done Maybe that is a culture we are coming from So another lesson to learn is if you have done a good job please do talk about it right there is nothing to be ashamed of For taking credit for your own work so that is how you can balance and like professor said How people perceive you is never the result of one incident it is over a period of time and it is not one individual Who forms that perception there is usually a village that observes an individual so you do not need to Worry that in the long term you will lose out on anything if you are a hard worker If you are a good worker you will definitely get credit for what is due to you Yes sir thank you very much Right thank you Sada let us go over to another we are going back to Amrita Yes young lady with specs now you can speak to us Hello sir my question is that generally many of us have a Please please your name first From Amrita Oh you are Amrita from Amrita how can I forget please go ahead Sir so generally many of us have a tendency to cross our legs and hands and stand or talk and I have heard that It shows that you are not receptive to another person's you are not receptive to the communication you are not In the conversation you want to stop it or something Is it is it that way or is it just yours see and another thing it is a little bit subconscious when I do it so I don't notice when I am doing it Is it hers see I will I will also request Stephen to answer it but before that I am sitting with my legs crossed so let me first return them You can't see them of course but I can see them and I just realized that I had crossed my legs But I didn't know that crossing legs is so bad several of my friends sitting outside I have crossed their legs So I would like Stephen to tell me what is a good gesture and wrong gesture Yeah all yours Stephen Yeah yeah thank you thank you Amrita from Amrita So a lot of our you know behavior especially nonverbal are things we have learned from infancy you know one example I can give is The way people say no is this way right this is how we are supposed to say no and people have found that this gesture comes right from an infant when the infant has had enough milk and the mother wants to give more milk and the infant cries and says no that's a very first instance of nonverbal language in the same way if you have seen little children when they are angry or they are sulking or they are upset how do they sit they sit like this right they will fold their hands and they will sit that immediately tells you that the child is angry So some of these you know gestures they the interpretation carries through into adulthood and into the workplace also So if you are sitting in a meeting this way some of those old memories come back and people begin thinking are you upset about something are you angry about something so that is one way to interpret the other way to interpret about crossing legs it's not just crossing of legs it's also the way you stand Amrita I can see right now your posture is very very straight if I may ask you just to stand in or let's say it is me that I don't sit straight I sit in a slightly angular manner and I am talking to you what I have just lost is the symmetry so when you look at me you are not seeing a symmetric Stephen you are seeing an asymmetric Stephen so normally people suggest that a symmetrical posture conveys more energy and an asymmetrical posture conveys less energy so straight posture looking straight at the person you are talking to with both hands on your sides legs placed evenly conveys a lot of positive energy but again you know in informal settings we all cross our legs at home we sometimes sit like this so you will have to learn how to distinguish between what is communicated and what may just be an example of somebody letting their hair down and just relaxing you will have to distinguish the two Sir I also wanted to ask what are good gestures like what comes across as good and other person that they want to talk more and what are positive hand gestures like I have known that when you do this people it shows that you are interested to talk so I guess are there any more positive ones you know I remember a lot of years ago I used to teach in a class just like yours and let's say in the class of 50 there is one student who is nodding the head a lot this way and for all you know that student may not be listening to the professor at all but the student goes nodding the head do you think the professor is going to look at that student and teach the rest of the class the natural tendency is yes somebody who is nodding or giving you a lot of acknowledgement you tend to look at that person somebody who is motionless you tend to look away from that person so in an interaction acknowledgement acknowledgement is just to give a nod tells the other person that I am listening to what you are saying so that is a positive gesture using a finger to point this way generally is seen as a slightly aggressive gesture so which is by an open palm is considered as a more positive gesture so there are lots of positive and less positive gestures so I think in the interest of your question I would I would pause there Amrita does that help professor anything you would like to add I would just like to add one thing I have personally benefited from it I was trained right from childhood by my father's friend both my father and his friend were in army and they used to insist that we sit straight with our head held high rather than slouching like this believe me I think it's an important part of your gesture report toy that as long as you can sit straight with your head held high you can use all the expertise in nonverbal communication with this posture also but this posture equally conveys strong confidence in yourself and it helps establish a very even communication between the other person and you this is my own personal experience and of course I have learned today that I should not keep my legs crossed whenever I am speaking in a community thank you Stephen for that useful knowledge thank you sir I'll give the mic to my friend when you are facing an interview is your name also Amrita sorry your name is different I hope yes sir my name is Maonika so when we are facing an interview like is it a good habit to keep our hands on the table is it a good thing so yes so I don't think you know I can say it is good or not good I think in an interview what is more important for me is your overall demeanor it's not just the hand or it's not just the feet it's the full package and remember it's the first few minutes where you can make that first impression what I generally do is if a gesture helps me to make a positive impact I use a gesture but there are also many gestures that neither add value nor take away value they are neutral gestures so to me it neither enhances the value enhances the impact nor does it take away the value or impact so they are just neutral and I would simply avoid neutral gestures because if there is limited time and I want to make an impact I want to let my hands and my eyes and my feet and my overall demeanor I want everything to be used just by keeping my hand on the table in a way I have locked down some very useful assets instead I can use it for illustration so I can talk about how the project was here and then we brought it here I can talk about the range of assignments that we completed in a very short time so are you seeing how I am using my hands to make an impact to make a point by locking it down the table I have just kept two very useful instruments down and I am not making it work for me I agree we have only two hands and if we lock both of them we are shortchanged for the assets I agree with you I have one more question when we interviewer is asking us a question and if we don't know the question if we smile and we just simply say sorry sir we don't know the answer for that question is a smile is a appropriate gesture a smiling is okay very very smart question do you believe that your sweet face with that sweet smile will get you off the hook you are sadly mistaken if I am an interviewer I will of course be very pleased to see that beautiful smile but I will not necessarily hire you I think it is better to be politely blunt and admit that you may do that while smiling but smile alone may not be adequate in my opinion you might have to say sorry sir this thing beats me or I am not sure I will be able to answer this correctly or something it is far better to admit ignorance than to wish it away this is my opinion I don't know what I completely agree with you completely agree do that smiling that is okay can we ask for a time if we don't know the answer of course you can ask for time but time is not half an hour or one hour you generally get one or two minutes and you should be able to compose your answer quickly please note once again what I said earlier the need for doing very solid preparation ahead of an interview so I would repeat a few things which you may already know doing an in depth analysis of the organization where you are going to interview what they do what is the kind of work that people of your age are required to do in that organization all of that you should have done thorough analysis never go blind into an organization second a very important thing you should have done a deep analysis of yourself please remember two very favorite questions of interviewers what is your main strength and what is a major weakness that you have each one of us has strengths and each one of us has weaknesses but we are never ready to answer these questions confidently the strength we should be able to illustrate by one or two incidences in which that strength was visible in any project that we have done in any activity that we have done the weakness of course should never be over emphasized so the weakness that you point out must be pointed out in such a manner that you are aware of that weakness and the steps that you are taking to actually overcome that weakness should be fluently stated in one or two crisp and short sentences now this cannot be done on the fly you have to prepare yourself ahead I do not know Stephen whether you agree with this or not yes I completely agree so having a weakness there is nothing wrong I have heard some people say I cannot think of any weakness now that immediately suggests this person is not self aware so having a weakness is a good thing because it makes you a human being but like professor said it is greater to know what your own weaknesses are before someone else can point it to you and two this is my weakness and this is what I am doing to manage it those are very essential qualities I can hear a few questions about interview I think professor said I think a very important point about the need to study the organization study yourself I would add a third one study the role that you are applying for because three of this put together will help you to give more prepared answers so to the situation you mentioned you might need a minute or two but if you have done your study in advance you will be able to respond hello sir I am with again one last question sir I have heard okay so what is the like what questions can you ask the interviewer the interviewer back after the interview is done I have heard that there is a question like do you have any questions for me so that will give you some opinion from the interviewer side are there any more questions to that yes I think lot of interview related questions so again there isn't a standard list Amrita that we can share saying these are the ten questions I think you should anticipate such a question in an interview do not go into an interview imagining that may not be asked when you anticipate I would suggest that you should have a question in your mind even before you go for the interview so to be able to say that at the end of the interview if I am given the opportunity this is the question I would like to ask so my questions usually they relate to to knowing the organization better knowing the role better because knowing self there is no one who can know yourself better than you so your question can relate to the organization about what its goals are what its priorities are what are some challenges it can also relate to the role how that role is going to add value to the organization but like I said rarely would these be thought at the moment most of the time you have already thought about the question before you have gone for the interview someday I will compile the list of questions that I have got whenever I have asked this question do you have any question a very interesting answer that I got from a few people is when can I join generally like to avoid asking questions which are purely self-driven like for example will I get a posting in my city or will I get this allowance or will I do that etc never ask questions which are very small transactions what you should ask question is only about your involvement with the organization in future and for that I think what Steven said is very important if your question is related to the role that you are likely to play I think those questions will be appreciated more by the interviewers than any other question thank you sir we are trying to go over to Saint Xavier Catholic College of Engineering sir my question is about regarding to the work load and my what my situation is there is a two manager manager A and manager B they have some people under those guys some people under manager A and some people under manager B in the scenario the guy under manager B is somewhat good in doing work in a better manner than all the other people in the company manager A works to the people under the manager B I mean the guy giving the work to another people in the another team you know in that case guy who is good in work has more load than the normal time in the scenario the guy from the guy who is doing work in a good manner he has the more work load he couldn't able to say no to the manager A as well as manager B because those two people so they are the higher officers in that scenario what the things the guy can do how he can control the situation before Stephen answers let me tell you a general theory about workplace people who do good work will always get more work invariably and it doesn't matter whether you have two managers three managers or one manager such people you know the work finds them see it doesn't matter whether it comes from managers or the other curiously people who do good work actually enjoy doing that work and that is one of the reasons why they will keep getting more work they may crib they may say what the hell my life is miserable and so on but believe me they will keep doing that extra work so that is I think a thumb rule that I have discovered in the workplaces all workplaces all over the world people who do good work will always get more good work to be done and as to how to tackle the managers I will leave it to the expertise of Stephen I can fully vouch for that so hard work so reward is more work so just to give a short response if you extrapolate the situation that you have just said and let's say you are the person who is doing good work and you are continuing to get good work now to a point you can handle that there is actually a very interesting graph which is the work it is a productivity and workload graph so if I increase your workload initially the productivity might go up I get more done out of you but there is a tipping point if I it is not an infinite thing so if I cross the tipping point more work given to you might actually have detrimental impact A to you B to the team so it is very important for you to know your own tipping point because when you have crossed the tipping point and like you said I cannot say no to the manager because he is higher in authority than me what you are actually doing is you are saying yes to possible errors you are saying yes to possible quality going down you are saying yes to maybe you know you falling sick as a result of excessive workload so it is important for you to communicate that you know to both managers what your thresholds are and what your tipping points are so indefinitely taking on more work because I cannot say no is not a sustainable approach so you have to recognize and take appropriate action In the same scenario this thing in my team I am the team head like that under the manager and the team leader so hence we have more work to do like you are saying that we should we can say no to that type people higher than us but we can tackle like that you are saying like that but it is good to say if I am I can't do that work in that situation I said no how would that be I am not sure I got all of it but if I have to summarize you are asking for what else can you do apart from pushing back and my suggestion would be this so my suggestion would be that if you were your own manager what would you do differently so some of these suggestions I can give one is there are three people on the team who are not doing their job is it because they need some help is it because they need some coaching is it because they need some training so can I volunteer to hand hold them train them coach them so that they also start contributing I don't have to do this as my job but that is the leadership that you bring to the table second is is there a better way to manage the workload than it just coming to you so the more you start thinking like your manager you can go up to your manager not just with the problem but also manager this is the problem and these are two or three things I suggest we can do because at the end of the day what is common for your manager and you as you want the team to succeed so that would be my short response please add wonderful response I think instead of just continuing to do infinite Ghodagiri it is more useful to create more Ghodas around you so that they can share the burden Ghoda is a horse by the way I tend to slip into Hindi because that is where I grew up the point is invariably more work is coming your way because others are not seen to be delivering the same quality and same work that you are and the important point about the team that Stephen mentioned so wonderful and so relevant that you must try to make everybody in the team as good as you are because that is when the work will continue to get distributed across everyone evenly but you have to take proactive steps to think about how best to improve individuals in your team and please remember being a member of the team you actually know about the strengths and weaknesses of the other team members much better than your managers do so I think that is a very good it is a long term answer alright so we seem to have concluded most questions and we also seem to have come to the end of the time I would like to take this opportunity to thank all participants I would like to wish them a very happy Deepavali and festive seasons just to tell you what Partha told us and what Stephen has also agreed we would try and phase the quizzes for the subsequent week such that you are not overloaded in the Deepavali week but at the end of the day the hard work must be completed by properly taking care of all assignments and quizzes I will try to put those quizzes across the next phase to phase interaction I believe what Stephen is planning is the 24th so the 17th yeah we will pass yeah Stephen would you like to add any concluding remarks I'm extremely impressed with the quality of questions the initiative the enthusiasm I'm waiting to see how many people signed up for this virtual session professor but very very excited thank you for having me here and I'm taking a lot back with me thank you thank you Stephen for as you all know unlike us students and teachers the corporate world has its own busy schedule and I'm sure he is one of those workaholics who keeps getting more and more work assigned to him but in spite of his busy schedule he found time to come here and share his expertise and his knowledge with us I'm very thankful indeed thank you very much Stephen and all the best happy Deepavali to all of you once again we'll meet again on 20th for the last interaction thank you so much