 There's a right time and a wrong time to apologize, but when? And there's a right time and a wrong time to stick up for your friends, but when is that? Well, in this video, we're going to be breaking down the Jenna and Julian apology because there is so much that we can learn from the best apology of 2019. What's up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. And sometimes what I try to do is take different topics going on in the YouTube community and see what we can learn. See what we can learn from people's mistakes as well as their successes. So if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And if you're not yet, follow me over on Instagram and Twitter at the Rewired Soul, because I love engaging with all of you beautiful people out there. My DMs are open. So I love when you guys hit me up DM me. If you have questions, I can point you in the right direction and give you some resources and stuff like that if you're struggling or know somebody who is, all right? But yeah, let's jump into this. So Jenna and Julian, just who doesn't love Jenna and Julian? Does anybody hate Jenna and Julian? Like show me who they are. All right. But anyways, so the other day I saw on Twitter from the Jenna and Julian podcast account, I think they said something and they were apologizing to some authors in the Reddit r slash no sleep and I've been a bad Jenna and Julian podcast fan for the last month or so. I haven't been listening to their podcast, but anyways, I wasn't really sure what this was about and I just watched their video. They made like a 17 minute video and it's their apology to r slash no sleep and I want to check it out. So apparently what happened was there's a subreddit called r slash no sleep where authors submit different stories and Jenna and Julian, they were using them on their podcast. They were reading them. They were reacting to them and things like that and it upset some of the authors and there were some DMCA takedowns of the videos, right? And Jenna and Julian were apologizing for that. So before I jump in, like what we can learn from when and when not to apologize and when to stick up for the people in our lives because remember this isn't necessarily about Jenna and Julian. We are using this as context to look at our own lives. You and definitely me because we're all here to try to improve. So let me let me roll back to this morning. Okay, so this morning I was on Twitter and one of my favorite authors, one of my favorite authors of all time, Jonathan Hite, he tweeted out this study. Okay, and this study is actually about I don't link it down below. Okay, so this study is actually about how let me read the title does apologizing work an empirical test of the conventional wisdom. All right, so I read this study. It's 14 pages. I love if you know me, you know, I love me some scientific studies. I love research. I love psychological research and everything like that. But basically this study kind of shows contradictions to what we believe that apologizing actually helps situation. So I got into this mindset, right? And make sure you're subscribed, especially if you're a YouTuber because on Tuesday I'm going to dive into this study but I was looking at this and it started to make sense why a bunch of YouTuber apologies don't work. All right. And I was like, dang, this is an awesome study. So I was like in my mind just like, yeah, you know what screw apologizing don't apologize for nothing. Yeah. Right. And I sent the study to one of my mentors and they ended up replying and they were like, Hey, what do you think of the Jenna and Julian apologizing? And I was like, you know what? And I was in that mindset of like no apology. So I went into that video like no way man, they shouldn't apologize. But when I watched the Jenna and Julian video, it was that that slap in the face, right? I think one of the best things we could do for our mental health is to be flexible in our thinking and know when we're holding on too tightly to something. So I definitely think there is a right and a wrong time to apologize. Like there's sometimes when people are demanding an apology from us when it's unwarranted. But Jenna and Julian, the way they discussed this was perfection. Like the way they explained this like this was very black and white. Okay. And they admit their wrongdoing and 1000% like this is when we apologize. All right. Something that I talked about in a video last Monday on Morality Mondays is really just checking in with your internal compass, right? Your internal moral compass and like do you feel bad? Right? Like our emotions are pretty much like different alarm systems. Right? When we feel guilt, right? Or we feel shame. That's typically our mind, our soul, spirit, whatever you want to call it, making a call to action. Like you need to do something about this, right? And there's some things that are very gray, but Jenna and Julian, they admit like they did not fully research like in Reddit, they usually have like rules on the side and Jenna and Julian did a good job explaining kind of their creative process and how they get topics and everything and they completely blew past the part in that subreddit that said you cannot use this work. So one of the authors reached out to them and emailed them and said like, hey, I'm a big fan. I love what you guys do. But as a creative, this kind of screwed me over. So when I was initially watching this and was in kind of like that mindset of don't apologize, I was like, what? This is fair use, da, da, da, da. But Jenna and Julian actually explained how what they did actually wasn't fair use and they screwed up. All right. So they apologize for it and I love this too because like they even brought up like they didn't know and they want others to learn and you guys, this is why my channel exists. This is why my videos exist because like they said they're like, listen, if you're a creator out there, like know about this like I'm a creator, right? Not only do I have the YouTube channel, but I write books. You know, I need to catch up on my podcast, but I'm doing blogs and everything like that. And when someone takes your work, right, like I don't mind if people use clips and commentate on what I do. Like that's what a lot of us do here on YouTube. But as a creative, I can definitely empathize with those authors and what Jenna and Julian were talking about was this wasn't fair use. So now it's a lesson for me when I'm using content and look into it and ask myself even more, is this fair use? Now, my absolute favorite part of this video was Julian talking about, well, Jenna and Julian talking about how much they love and appreciate their fans, right? And how much their fans have their back, but Julian really explained how this is a learning experience because initially the authors got flack from the Jenna and Julian fan base because of this kind of blind loyalty. And the way this kind of relates to us, like how many times do we just have this loyalty to a fault to our friends where we'll defend anything they do, right? This can really happen with family as well, where even if they mess up, like I feel that there's a difference between unconditional love and like just this loyalty to a fault, right? Like if my son became like a serial killer or something, I couldn't be like, hey, I got your back. You know what I mean? I might be like, you know, okay, like you broke, you broke quite a few laws and this is not good. You know what I mean? But anyways, let's talk about the crowd psychology level and then the individual kind of mental health level. So I've been really fascinated with crowd psychology as of late. I've read so many books on it lately and this is something that you commonly see and it's, I don't want to say worrisome, but it reminds me of like cult followings, right? This kind of like blind, massive group like our leaders can do nothing wrong. You know what I mean? And that's an issue like everybody, everybody is human. Okay. And Jenna and Julian's case, like, no matter how many subscribers they have, no matter how much you like them or anything like that, like they are basically saying like, listen, we are fallible. I will never forget. I will never forget until the day I die. Logan Paul, Logan Paul after he made that infamous vlog in Japan and he came back and he made his apology, his apology and he had to talk to his audience because his audience was defending him and he's like, no, I did something terrible. Do not defend me. And then people from his audience were like, screw you, Logan. I'm defending you anyways. And it's like, what is happening? Right. So like I said, on a crowd psychology level, we need to look at how as a group when we blindly follow people, even when they admit to messing up. Now, when it comes to friendships, this is something that was terrible for me. So my experience was I used to have people in my life who were loyal to a fault to me. They defended everything I did. And those of you who don't know me, hi, I'm Chris. I'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic for almost a decade of my life. I was being a terrible, scummy person. And when we're doing awful things, we're like this magnet for enablers. We keep people around who cosine or BS, right? And when I got sober, I realized I need to keep people around who tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear. Right. Like I can't have people blindly defend me. And if you're in my audience, I don't want you to blindly defend me. So the people I keep in my life today have this kind of unconditional love for me. Like a great example, a great example is my beautiful girlfriend Tristan, right? Like she has no problem. Absolutely no problem calling me out on my BS being like, Chris, you are being a jackhole right now. What you said in that video was stupid, which it did was dumb, right? But because she does that and she calls me out when she has my back, I know she, I know she means it as well, right? This is why we shouldn't fluff up our friends and just blindly like agree and be like, yes, meant to him. Like we got to call him out and say, yo, you screwed up. So like I want my audience, my community here and something Jenna and Julian are talking about. Like I want my community here to call me out on my BS and also realize like there's some things where we're just going to disagree. You know what I mean? Like we're going to disagree and there's no, there's no right or wrong. And that's one of the reasons I've been diving into videos about morality and things like that lately, right? Like sometimes you might just disagree with me and that's cool. We're people. Let's have conversations. You know what I'm saying? But anyways, I think there's so much to learn from Jenna and Julian and I'm really glad that my mentor showed me this video because I want to make more videos like this. I want to make more videos highlighting good examples in the community. Like it's so easy to find things negative that we can learn from. I think that's part of our negative bias, right? But when creators are out there doing something awesome or public figures or out there doing something awesome, I really want to start highlighting that. So if you have any suggestions or comments or like I said, follow me on Instagram and Twitter, you can DM me or tweet at me, whatever it is. If if you see somebody who's being a good example and you think that a lot of us can learn from what they're doing, like, let me know, like I truly believe one of the best ways to grow mentally, spiritually and all of that is to look at people who are living good lives and try to learn from the path that they're going on. You know what I mean? All right. So to sum it up, the solutions. Okay. We need to know when and when not to apologize. All right. Sometimes we over apologize for things when we shouldn't. And like I said, on Tuesday, I'll be diving into this study. It'll be linked down below. If you want to, if you want to get a head start on the homework, we're going to go into on Tuesday. All right. The next solution, the next lesson. All right. Know when we should and shouldn't like back our friends up or people in our life up and when we need to call them out and who we keep in our lives and who calls us out on our stuff and when we need to be called out and everything like that. Now, it's also important to remember that sometimes we're just going to disagree. We're going to have different views. All right. So anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge, huge thank you to everybody who supports the channel over on Patreon as well as everybody who supports the channel in other ways by buying my mental health books and merchant all that good stuff. I appreciate you. All right. Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.