 Hello everyone. Before I begin, please hit that thumbs up and down below. Thank you. 10 reasons why narcissists manipulate and punish you. People with this disorder will exhibit a pervasive pattern of behaviour. Where they need excessive admiration. While they have a lack of empathy and a tendency to engage in exploitative relationships. Because they believe they are entitled to privileges and special treatment. And indisputable compliance with their wishes or demands. They may also demand perfection from themselves. While projecting this same desire for perfection onto other people. Who inevitably fall short of their expectations. But although they may seem arrogant and entitled, they're actually very insecure. And believe it or not, but they actually fear abandonment more than anyone else. Because they felt abandoned by their parent or caregiver in their childhood. And it was a very painful experience for them. So they don't ever want to go through that again. Which is why they will often discard their victims first. Even though they may not want the relationship to end. But they just don't want to be on the other end of it. So at least if it's on their terms, they can feel like they're in control of it. But they will rely on their manipulation to prevent it from getting to that point. By engaging in deliberate and deceptive behaviour. Which is intended to influence and control people for their own personal gain. You need to understand that these are predators. And they are seeking vulnerabilities for them to exploit in their targets. So that they can gain an advantage over them. And get them to behave in the way that they would like. Narcissists are skilled manipulators. They have had years of practice that have identified vulnerabilities in people. So they are masters at observing people's emotional states and life circumstances. And they use this knowledge to create a false bond. Which then creates an illusion of intimacy and trust. So clearly, manipulation is very important to narcissists. It's something they can't live without. And there are many reasons why they do it. In this video, I am going to give you 10 main reasons. Why narcissists manipulate and punish you. 1. A need for admiration. Narcissists have an insatiable desire for admiration. They need to have the spotlight at all times. They demand constant validation. Because they need to feel important. But there's really no reason for anyone to notice them. Because they have no inner sense about you. They have nothing to bring to the table. Which would be worthy of anyone's attention. So they have to resort to manipulation. To ensure that they do remain the center of attention. Even if they have to lie, future fake. Or even hurt people in the process. Because they don't really value friendship or connection. It's just all about them. So from their viewpoint, relationships revolve around exploitation. Where they see people as objects for them to use. As tools to serve their own desires and needs. Which is why they will use manipulation to extract attention, admiration and even resources from those around them. And they will do that because for them it's a survival tactic. They believe that it's a dog eat dog world. It's every man for himself. It's survival of the fittest. And unfortunately for them they're not in the best shape. So for them to thrive in a competitive world. They believe that they must manipulate people. To secure opportunities, resources and relationships. Where they are ruthlessly and relentlessly driven to come out on top. Because they have a scarcity mindset. They believe that there are limited resources. Or that they are unable to provide for themselves or other people. Which leads to intense feelings of anxiety. Where they endlessly obsess over the what they lack. And they're just constantly trying to hold on to whatever they can get. While thinking that it's going to keep them afloat. But it never does because they're never satisfied. So no matter what they have they always need more. And it's because they're obsessed with rejecting an image of whatever they deem to be successful or superior. Whether it's wealth, physical attractiveness or intelligence. Or maybe they have six toes. It could be anything. It's whatever they view as a source of power. Or whatever they see as their claim to fame. But the irony is. That they all walk, talk, act and dress exactly the same. And yet they believe that they're special, important or interesting. Despite this they will still go to great lengths. To ensure other people perceive them as highly trained. Or skilled in a particular activity. To lack of empathy. Narcissists don't care about anyone but themselves. They are driven by their own excessive interest in an admiration of themselves. And often their own physical appearance. They're so self-centered. That they even fail to distinguish themselves from external objects. So they view people as extensions of themselves. And they experience the world vicariously through them. Instead of experiencing it directly. Because they can't or because it doesn't fulfill them by doing it that way. Which is ironic because they lack empathy. Which means that they actually struggle to understand and relate to people's emotions and needs. Even while they're experiencing the world vicariously through us. They don't fully understand how it feels for us. They can't put themselves in our shoes. Even though they can see the world through our eyes. They can't feel what we feel. If they could. Then they would never harm us. But they can't. And this is what allows them to exploit us. Without experiencing guilt or remorse. Because they exist in a present inside their own minds. They feel no connection to us. They can only pretend. Three. Fear of rejection and abandonment. Narcissists may act bold and courageous. As though they're unmovable and unfazed. And they cannot be worried, disturbed or dismayed. When this is actually just a front. To compensate for the fact that they are terrified of being rejected and abandoned. Is their worst fear. And nothing hurts them more than that. Because they are heavily dependent on other people. They can't be alone. So without a constant source of admiration and validation. They believe that they are nothing. And in many ways they are nothing. Because all they have is a false self. They have no inner sense of value. And they can't generate any power or energy from within. Which is why they have to manipulate people to keep them close. Because without their much needed admiration. They want to know what to do. It really is their Achilles heel. They can't live without it. Four. A need for control. Narcissists have an overwhelming and obsessive need for control in every aspect of their lives. And it's because they're very insecure. They lack self confidence. And they're very unsure and anxious about themselves. So they need excessive control to compensate for that. They will manipulate to gain power over people and the environment. They plan and coordinate the elements of the situation to produce their desired effect. And to ensure that they remain in a position of which they are able to control what happens. Because they're very insecure within themselves. Which then makes it nearly impossible for anyone to govern themselves or find their own independence. Because that then threatens the narcissist's need for control. Which they use as a source of stability and security to compensate for their internal state of chaos and dysfunction. Five. Arrogance and entitlement. Narcissists are very arrogant. They're not just showing confidence in themselves. It's not that they're certain of their abilities. It's a delusion. A fantasy that they have created inside their heads. And because they've been successful at manipulating people in the past. They have trust in people following their agenda and succumbing to their will. To where they may fail to resist pressure, temptation or some other negative force. And that is why they're so arrogant. Because they've thrown other people under the bus in the past. So they assume that it's how it's going to go down for you based on their past successes. To where they become very full of themselves opinionated and self-important. And they develop the sense of entitlement where they expect people to comply with their desires. But their beliefs are enforced solely by their manipulation. And they share delusion with their target. Rather than at any actual measurable success or achievement in reality. It's just all in their heads. And yet they take it as though it indicates their importance or significance. When this is just all in their minds. They haven't actually done or achieved anything. Six, a desire for power and dominance. Narcissists are power hungry. They have a strong desire for power and influence over other people. To where they will be very dominant. And they will show themselves as more important, strong or successful than anything else of a similar type. In an attempt of forcefully taking control of you. Because they want all of the power for themselves. So they will use manipulation and control to reinforce their sense of superiority and authority. And with little regard for personal boundaries. Seven, competition. They will invade and violate boundaries without hesitation to maintain their control over you. And they will even compete against other people. In order to achieve their desired results. They view every interaction as an opportunity to prove their worth. And outshine other people. So they will manipulate you to ensure that they stay ahead of the game. And in a position or situation in which they are likely to win and succeed. No matter the cost to those around them. Eight, to maintain their false self. The more grandiose the exterior. The more fragile the sense of self. It's a facade. They're projecting a false self image to the world. And they manipulate to sustain this illusion. Which they use to protect themselves from the reality of their flaws and insecurities. And it's why they will isolate you. And control who you interact with and what information you receive. To ensure that you become increasingly dependent on them. So that you will continue to validate this illusion and false image. And they will even use gaslighting to distort reality. To make you doubt your own memory, perception and sanity. So that it keeps you in check and protects their false image. They will twist the truth. And create detailed and complex falsehoods to serve their agendas. So that they can craft false narratives to suit their needs. Because they thrive on drama and chaos. So they need to create turmoil in relationships and situations. To keep the spotlight on themselves. And manipulation is their tool to orchestrate a dramatic sequence. With development of events. To feed their insatiable appetite for attention. They also manipulate to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. To where they alternate between being charming and abusive. To restrict your movement and keep you emotionally tied to them. To where you're uncertain about their intentions. As you struggle to understand their purpose or goal. Nine. To avoid shame. Narcissist fear being exposed as imperfect or weak. So they will manipulate in order to avoid shame and humiliation at all costs. Which may involve shifting the blame onto you. Or creating falsehoods and distorting reality. In order to protect their fragile egos. Because beneath their facade of arrogance and superiority. Lies severe emotional instability. Narcissist experience extreme emotional fluctuations. So they manipulate as a way of controlling these emotions. By exerting dominance over you. Because it allows them to protect their shortcomings onto you. Instead of them having to accept their own flaws and imperfections. Manipulation helps them to divert attention away from their faults. By accusing you of the very things that they have done to you. Ten. To play the victim. Narcissist are highly skilled at playing the victim card. They will fabricate and exaggerate victimhood for a variety of reasons. Such as to justify abusing you. To manipulate you. As a coping strategy. To seek attention. Or even just to evade responsibility. They will manipulate situations to make it appear as though they were unfairly treated or wronged. To gain sympathy and support from other people. And further reinforce their control over you. While being able to avoid accountability for their actions. Because their manipulation allows them to shift the blame onto you. And deflect accountability for their mistakes. Which then allows them to maintain their faultless self-image. When all in all it is a deceptive facade of success. And it obscures their happiness. Because it is just a facade. The truth is they have nothing. They try to convince themselves that they're happy. But the truth is that they're empty, hollow and lonely. Because they lack meaningful human connection in their lives. All they have is their sources of supply. Superficial friendships, enablers and flying monkeys. There's no one who sees the real them. Because there is no real them. All they have is a false image and a false self. And that's what people are validating. But underneath it all they're still miserable. Because they know that it isn't real. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.