 I hope you're well, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, my name is Sepi and today I'm joined by my sister Sol. Hello. Sol also has a YouTube channel. So after this video, make sure you go and check out her video with me. It will be linked down in the description. Wow, why am I kissing already? It's only the start of the video. Whilst we're here, you might as well subscribe to my channel. Hit the, is it here? This side, this side, just subscribe. Subscribe, you'll make our lives much better. Also, thank you guys so much for 40K I can't believe that, how can you lose that? It's crazy, I remember like when I had 100 subscribers and I hit 100 and I was like sending in a group chat. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. So honestly, 40K means so much to me and I get to meet so many of you like every week and it makes me so happy. So I love you guys so much and I really appreciate it. Now that we're done with that very long intro, Sol and I are back with another episode of Sip Tea with Sepi. Yes, it's been quite a long time since we did this. Can I sip tea whilst we sip tea? Of course, you can sip tea. Is it okay that it's coffee? Yeah, I've got coffee too. So we've both got coffees but let's just pretend it's tea because more culture, Persian culture is very much tea vibes but we're actually having coffee. So I've asked on my Instagram for you guys to send in your juiciest boy dilemmas. Girls and boys, I'm always answering your dilemmas like relationship dilemmas on my Instagram. Literally you guys DM me all the time. Sorry, sir, but have you seen that meme? There's talks about how, what do your single friends do. I literally think we say this every single time. The only thing that seems to remain constant in all these videos is that I remain single in all of them but I'm very good at relationship advice and also I'm single by choice guys. Honestly, I'm not just saying it to Gath with Papa. They're choice. That is all. No, I'm single by my own choice because there's other stuff I want to focus on. Some people who I've liked or spoken to once I get to know a bit better, they've realized that they're not actually on for me with their great people. So I am single by choice but if you do meet the person that you like and have feelings for and you do get into relationship, then it happens. But some of you guys are clearly struggling with this as it says here on my Instagram. So I'm just gonna go in order. Read that one. That kind of jumps in, dives in, doesn't it? Should you do things on the first date, brackets, sexual? Me personally, I don't think that's a good idea to do something sexual on the first date. Maybe if the date's really long, you're getting along really well. But anyway, you didn't have to finish. If the date's getting along really well, all of this, it walks you to your card or whatever, you can give him an extra prolonged kiss on the cheek. But if he tries to move, you... You know? No mess around there. But in terms of doing other stuff on the first date, I really don't think that's a good idea because... Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Okay, so that's Sol's idea. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I think you shouldn't do it because imagine after the second date, because so many of my friends date guys where they go on a few dates and then about three, four weeks into dating, they realize they don't like him. And if by that point you've done a lot of stuff with them, then what's the value of doing things with people? Do you know what I mean? Are you doing things with people just for fun? Or are you doing it because it means something? Because I think you should do things because it means something, not because you're doing it for fun. That's me personally. So if you're in the mindset where this guy or this girl is someone that you want to get to know better and be with meaningfully, then you should wait until those things can actually have a meaning rather than just be something that you're doing. I agree. Tick. Okay, next question. How do you confront a guy who's sending mixed signals? I actually find anything I've learned there. Don't tell me. You just tell him point blank how you feel and you say, this is how I feel. Either continue talking to me and we go along the path of getting to know each other and dating or leave me the hell alone because there's a whole queue of boys out there who would like to take this girl out. And it's true, right? Yeah, definitely. And if he leaves you alone, then good riddance because he was gonna waste your time anyway. And if he takes you out, then it just shows that maybe he was a bit shy and now he's not shy and now he's like, oh, she likes me too. It doesn't, don't. One thing I always think I used to get confused about was I used to think like ego-wise that if you tell a guy that you like him and you want something serious with him after a few dates, want this to be something serious because you don't wanna get hurt along the way. So I think like ego-wise, like, oh my God, that's so bad because imagine if he doesn't feel the same way, but I realized along the way, like when you grow up as well, you'll realize like ego should just go out the window because if someone's gonna be playing ego games with you, then they should be keeping their games for a football pitch not for you and... I actually agree with that. I think in anything in life, detachment from your ego is your route to happiness. Yeah, I think like ego is definitely like a big thing and I think it's- It's people's downfall, downfalls. Yeah. So you think it takes a lot of confidence to tell a guy like, hey, you're sending me mixed signals and this is my signal, what are you saying? Very, and it's very liberating. Regardless of what they tell you, you've got it, some people think it's a control thing, that they lose control, but you're not. Yeah. I'm telling them how you feel. If they like you, fantastic. If they don't, how liberating is it to know that, A, you did everything, so they're no misunderstandings. And B, if they're not into it, like Seppy said, there is a very long queue. Yeah, very long. Almost like the queue outside Zara, I'm gonna start it. Oh my God. Why is it that with Zara, it's the one shop that's got a really long- Literally, what have you done about? I have no idea. To be fair, Zara's clothes have banged in. Your wearing Zara right now. They are, but don't like the queue. You know what? Shop online, I think. Shop online if you don't like it, post it back. What does it mean if he used to post you a lot and recently he doesn't post you? Maybe you're not doing as much. Post, there's in my social media. He used to post photos of you and him. Yeah. I don't know. I really believe that to a certain degree, you need to keep your personal life in terms of relationships, private. So I wouldn't want to post so many pictures of someone I'm dating online. I agree with you. I don't think that you should post a lot of pictures of your other half on Instagram or stuff like that, not because of other people or their view on your relationship, which I think Saul is more particular about, but more because I think those moments or those pictures or whatever should be for you guys to look back on, reflect not for the whole world to look back and judge your relationship. I don't think anyone should ever have a say in your relationship. Like for me on social media, everyone wants to have a say in like, what you're wearing, why are you doing this, when you should be doing that. You know, if you add in your whole relationship into it, then everyone's gonna still be thinking that they can comment on that as well. And that's not even like as an influencer. I just mean as in general as a person. So definitely don't worry if he doesn't post you as much first of all, no one's really doing anything right now. What's he gonna post? Do you guys sitting at home at 10 p.m.? You know, no one's doing anything in the world right now. Everyone's sitting at home dealing with COVID. If he hasn't deleted the old photos of you, then clearly everyone can still see you as girl, you know, so don't worry about it, right? Has anyone posted photos of you? Posted photos of me, ever. Yeah. Yeah. I thought I posted photos of you. I met a guy. Yeah, I've never posted photos of a guy though, ever. This is like- I haven't. This is nothing even to do with like feed thing, but more because of what I told you guys, I just felt like my private life. And I also think, oh, happy anniversary to my love and you all love sitting next to you. Yeah. Thank you so much. Oh my God, like why are you saying congrats to each other? You're sitting next to each other. You know what? That's the most. I have this one friend, and I know he doesn't watch my YouTube videos. I mean, I pray he doesn't watch my YouTube videos, yeah. But he's always posting to his mom, like, mom, I love you, blah, blah, blah, blah, like talking to his mom. His mom doesn't have Instagram, this is so like. She is just like an Asian mom, like no. All of this, and he is just like literally posting out all the time, like, if you're doing it to get girls, you know, fair enough, stop talking like you're talking to your mom because she's not gonna see these posts. She's not on Instagram. But I think, wait, this is so unrelated, but I think if I had a boyfriend, and we were serious, serious, I think I probably would share him on my YouTube, on my vlogs. Would you? Because I'm a vlogger, I feel that's part of my life. I mean, never say never. Sorry, maybe, yeah. But guys, obviously there's no one else who might not see it anymore. Okay, now. Going back to your question. Can you touch on how to meet decent men who are serious to settle and respect a woman? If you get that memo, send it to me. Send it to me. Send it to me. No, I'm joking. She's joking. Yeah, I'm joking. I don't think it's hard to find a decent man. I think it's all to do with your mentality. If you're reflecting that in yourself, that you're showing that you're a decent lady and you're serious, then you're only really gonna be approached by people who are decent and serious. Apart from, obviously, the odd bob guys who approach you because of your looks, just come up to you because they saw you from across. You never know, they might actually be nice people. They're very well said, sir. Very well said. I think it comes across from the way you are. Like, if I sit in a restaurant or I sit wherever I go, there's two types of guys who try and talk to me. It's the ones who have been staring at you for quite a while from across, and just to like the way you look. And then the other one is the one who's kind of been sitting close by, listening to your convo, analysing, and laughs along with your jokes with your friends, and then tries to just jump in, you know? And are you more attracted to the latter than the former? Later, definitely. Because you can kind of see that they can't help it, but be engaged in your conversation, which is kind of fun because you're like, oh, so you like my humor. So do you like receiving compliments more on your looks or your humor? I think off the bat, I like receiving compliments more of my personality than my looks. Because I think the fact that they're there... You can't get your personality straight away, so don't be offended if someone's appreciating how you look. I don't get offended if someone's appreciating how I look, but I mean like, for example, if I sit and someone comes and talks to me and we talk for like 15 minutes, and they're like, oh my God, I didn't think you'd be this funny when I was like looking at you from across or anything, for example. You know, that's more than like, if he's like, I really like the way you look tonight. You're looking fine. I mean, don't get me wrong, both are compliments, but I just think when someone compliments your personality, it means so much more. What's that about me and a guy? Me and a guy started talking, and he really wants me to trust him, but I've heard stuff about him. I don't think you should judge a guy based off what other people tell you about him at all, because I think how a guy or a girl, I think you need to judge someone based off of how they are with you, because how reliable are the sources that people talk to you, and where did they hear from? And I think always when I hear other people talking about someone, I'm like, why do they feel comfortable enough to tell you about this, but do you know what I mean? I don't like it when people talk about other people to me. I really don't like it, and I hate it even more when it's negative. Why can you not talk about people if you're going to, but point out their positives? Yeah, so I think if someone's telling you, like, oh, this guy is not good, he's this, he's that, but to you, he's been nice and he's been good. Why are you judging someone? You're basically judging a book while it's covered. Don't judge a book while it's covered. Like, if someone else is gonna bad mouth him and you're gonna believe it, then that's your loss versus getting to know the real thing, right? Yeah, but simultaneously, don't be blind to it, you know? Don't be totally stupid to it. I mean, keep it in the back of your mind, but don't let it affect you getting to know the person. That's it. Only you are capable of fooling yourself, and that's a really scary thought. My dad always says that. He's always like, you can't wake someone who's pretending to be sleeping. So if any of you guys understand or get what that means, it basically means like, that person already knows what they're doing. You don't need to tell them they're doing it. That was different to what I was saying. I mean, you can fool yourself. Yeah, that's also true. Like, as in, I think that's true. If you think the guy is bad, don't fool yourself into thinking he's good. Yeah. I love my fiance, but he's lazy and plays video games all the time. Should we stay together or should we break up? I think it's really hard for us to give you advice as to whether you guys should stay together or break up because he's lazy, because I think, have you tried talking to him about it? Have you told him that this bothers you? Is it affecting your personal life? Have you tried getting rid of the video game? Isn't this something he does in his downtime? Some people like going for long walks. No, but you know what? I can tell from the way that this person is saying it. Like, maybe I'm just charging like, too, too, reading too much into this. From the way she's saying it, he's just sitting up, sitting there all day, waking up, playing video games, going to bed to sleep. A bit like, you know that friend that we have? There's nothing wrong with it. If you enjoy gaming, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. So long as the rest of your life is not suffering. Yeah. If your fiance is questioning wanting to be with you over how much time you're spending on this screen, then maybe you need to take a step back. Yeah, that's true. You know, get your priorities in order. That's so true, because look how hard it is for everyone else to find a decent person. You've got a decent person who wants to be with you. Okay, these are getting really juicy now, guys. Oh my God. My ex literally got a new girl from one week after we broke up and I need to see them both every day. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Good luck to them. Literally, sorry that you're going through this, I agree with Saul, but good luck to them. You know, if he is the kind of guy that will find someone else after one week, then he'll do the same with her. And he is feeding- Hopefully he doesn't do the same to her, but if he's doing that, he was never worth it to be done with. And you know what? Just use a lot of- Do you? A lot of positive energy stuff to help you through this. Listen to a lot of the secret and anything to do with positive energy that really helps through breakups. I think going to the gym really helps in breakups. Eating healthy, going out with your friends, studying and reading, watching TV, watch Modern Family, watch some comedy, watch Emily and Paris. Emily and Paris is so good. Watch that, it'll all help you. Guys, I- A few years ago, a long while ago actually, a few years ago, this guy and I had broken up and I went to France on my own in Paris and I took a book and it was called, He's Not That Into You. And I sat in the Champs Elysees reading this book and crying into this book and feeling so sorry for myself. I looked amazing doing it. I looked brilliant. However, it was, but I digress. The book is a really good read. Oh, is that what you were saying this time? You will get over the guy. I get something really liberating about finding out that someone wasn't that into you. He wasn't that into you if he's already got a new one. That's it. Don't waste your time. Okay, next one, juicy. My man's in prison, but innocent. Case will be dismissed soon. Do I tell my parents? I mean, if he's coming out in the next few days, just leave it be and he was innocent. I think don't tell them, no? I don't know. Or honesty is the best policy. Honesty is the best policy. Just in case it comes out later on, you don't want to seem like a liar. I think don't lie. I always say never ever lie, but if you want to avoid telling the truth, you can also do that. Do you know what I mean? As in, don't go out of your way to like side skirt something. If someone asks you about it, be honest. But if it doesn't come up, you don't need to bring it up. That's what I think. You know what I mean? That's lying 101 simply. What do you mean? That's not lying. That's not lying at all. I hate when people lie. Honesty, I hate when people lie like, oh, like, where are you? I'm at work and they're actually at home. You know, for example, that, I hate that. But like, if someone's like to you, like you're just talking on the phone, they don't ask where you are. You don't need to say you're at home when you're at work. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You don't need to, you don't need to tell everyone everything. You don't need to. Why do you need to ask yourself why do you not want to tell your parents? Obviously she doesn't want them to think like, oh, he was actually doing something wrong when she's saying that he was actually innocent and the case is going to be dismissed. I don't want it to be something that holds something over you later on. So like a few years time and then someone, I used to watch a lot of like soap operas. I don't like someone having something over me and then being able to blackmail me with it later. I think so long as you don't lie about it, you'll never be blackmailed. Because you'd just be like, oh yeah, I forgot about, I forgot to tell you. Never came up. Never came up. What are you gonna say to never come out? Just didn't know there was other stuff going on at that time, uni was heavy. Uniwork was heavy. I was buried in coursework. Be buried in something else, I don't know. Last question and then we are gonna end this video here because honestly there's too many, too many. That, and I can smell my dad's cooking. Okay, I love my boyfriend but his sisters hate me and come in between our relationship. What do I do? I'm sorry. First of all, this sounds very horrible but it also sounds like a scene from like, Iran like back in the day. And I don't know why classic Iranian movies all have like the evil sister-in-laws, you know? Yeah, but the in-laws are like, yeah. But actually, they do interfere. I worked with this Pakistani doctor and she was also telling me something similar as well. So I don't know guys, is it like an Asian man? The in-laws do interfere a little. Yeah, I think it might be an Asian thing, guys. They're just knowing the comments. What do you think? Is there other cultures? I know. I think every culture in the world. They're jokes about it. They're in-laws. But guys, it's worse when they live at home. So I think in that case, they live at home. So it's worse. When they're not living at home, maybe they don't have as much influence on them. And there's an Iranian saying in Duryodusti, which means that keep your distance and be civil, really. So you don't need to keep socializing with the in-laws. And also, they don't need to like you. Sometimes we try so hard to be liked, you know? Then not everyone's gonna like you. So I just don't think I put in enough power to give enough power to the guy's siblings or family or whatever to have a say in our relationship because I think you have to tell your boyfriend or your fiance. Like, it's between us. If you want me to have a relationship with your whole family, then I'm not down. I'm not here for it. Because I think at the end of the day, you have to remember, and again, this is something that my dad always tells me. My dad's like, if you're unhappy in your relationship, even if you're 90, don't waste one minute of your life in an unhappy relationship because that's one minute of your life that you could have spent enjoying yourself. So don't sell yourself short in a scenario. Remember your worth and don't be afraid to lose it. Wait, that doesn't mean don't stop working hard in a relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. But don't be afraid to lose him, but tell him that I'm worthy of being treated well by your sisters and I don't want them to have anything to say in my relationship with you. I disagree with this. Really? Yeah, because I think so many times the person, so if it's the guy or it's the girl, they get caught in the crossfire and it's not right. See, sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that actually it's his sisters that are treating you like this, not him, you know? But what should she do? What should she just put up with? Take a step back, tell him that, look, they're treating me like this, but out of respect for you, out of the love that I have for you, I'm not going to say anything. I'd really appreciate it if you could just acknowledge that I'm doing this. Guys, I don't think that's gonna solve anything. Why? And then just don't socialize with them so much. But I just think maybe they're not even socializing. Maybe the sisters just get involved anyway. Yeah, but tell your partner, without attacking your partner, you gotta be, it sounds bad, but you have to be a little clever and tactful as well. A, give your partner enough respect to tell them and not tell them off for something that someone else is doing. And B, you come across so much better. You come across like a lady. Okay guys, I hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, then please give it a thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe to me down below. Don't forget to check out Sol's video after this. They'll be linked down in the description. If you enjoyed it, leave us some comments. We love you. Don't forget to check out Instagram. They are across the street. Everyone put out some positive energy that we all find nice partners and relationships when we're ready for them. Put it out there. And we love you. Thank you for having me, sir. I love that you're doing so good. Sophie, your fans are so nice now. Whenever we see them shopping, we saw a few ladies yesterday. They're so nice. We were really happy to see you guys. Anyway, thank you for watching. Bye. Like and subscribe. Or was it a subscribe and like?