 disclosure. HIV and disclosure. Now that we're trekking into the territory of people who are undetectable and therefore untransmittable and their obligation or lack thereof to disclose their status to their potential sexual partner. That has been a very heated discussion. What's going on you guys? Rafe, really? That was like, I couldn't have planned it worse than that. Keeping up with the software, like 20 minutes maybe? 20 minutes? That's going to be a no. Doop-de-doo in construction. So a lot of you guys have probably seen a video that was published recently on YouTube by Jubilee. If you're not familiar, Jubilee is this really awesome YouTube channel and they do videos that have a lot to do with socially conscious issues, not always, but that's a lot of their focus. Themes around humanity and people and differences and coming together and stuff like that. So really cool channel and they invited me to be a part of a video that was related to HIV. So basically the premise is there's a group of us, we all have HIV and we're in a room and on the far left side of the room, if you were to go there, that represents strongly disagree and then it would slowly make its way from strongly disagree to disagree to slightly disagree, neutral, slightly agree, agree, strongly agree. And they would ask us prompts, questions or just statements and then depending on whether we agree or disagree, we would like line up somewhere in the room according to our beliefs and our opinions. That was really cool. It was the first time that I really got to meet up with a group of people who were HIV positive and who were confident and open and transparent about it on social media and then for us to like get together and have these really cool intimate discussions about our experiences and our beliefs, our values and there was definitely like a common throughline between all of us of strength, just really owning our status and being well educated and having an otherwise pretty positive outlook on our lives. It wasn't something that defined our lives heavily. So that was really cool. Really excited that they posted that onto YouTube. I think it has over a million views at this point. So awesome. I'll link to it if I can. I'm not sure if that's possible. I've never tried to link to another YouTube channel's video from my own. So I'll try it. If that's possible, you'll see it now or you'll see it at the end screen. Who knows? Otherwise, just go to Jubilee, J-U-B-I-L-E-E. Go to their YouTube channel and then it should be one of the recent videos. I think it's do all people living with HIV think the same is the name of the video. You can even search that. As soon as the video dropped, it was important to me to be heavily involved in the comment section because I wanted to be right there in real time talking about these issues and kind of like inserting myself into conversations and making sure that stuff isn't being misconstrued or that like there isn't too much hate or stigma being spread around or misinformation. That was really important to me and as a result of this video, there was definitely one topic that kind of rose above all the noise in the clamor and the comments and stuff like that and really stood out and got people really heated about and it's the idea of disclosure. HIV and disclosure. Now that we're trekking into the territory of people who are undetectable and therefore untransmittable and their obligation or lack thereof to disclose their status to their potential sexual partner. That has been a very heated discussion debate that's been going on in the comments not just there but all over the internet and more and more people are talking about it because it's relevant. Because with the advent of EU equals U, that is just a topic that is very relevant and it's going to become more so as time goes on and as more people realize that that is now the reality of people living with HIV. I myself gotten too many back and forths that spans you know like over a hundred comments in one little thread but you know I'm obviously very passionate about it too. So the arguments that people are making is that even though you're undetectable and even though you can't transmit the virus, it's something that you still have to disclose to your potential sexual partner because if you don't you're taking away that person's consent to having sex with you. Like you're deciding for them basically is what they're saying and some people have even made it analogous to rape. Some people feel that it is a moral imperative to disclose. So the thing that I've kind of focused on as a result of this discussion hearing people's arguments and what their thoughts are and what they're thinking is I've kind of made a distinction between the moral argument to disclose to another person and you can go on and on about that different scenarios and situations and someone you're hooking up with versus someone you're dating versus you know whatever versus the legal necessity to disclose. I think this is a debate worth having because there is a distinction between moral and legal. Yes a lot of times laws are put into place because they align with our morality and so the law is there to enforce that. However that's not always the case. A lot of times there are laws and there's no morality attached to it. It's just the law because of other reasons and sometimes there is morality but there's no law to enforce that morality. It's not a given that because something is moral something is also put into law that's just not the way it works. So my major issue with people saying that someone who is HIV undetectable has to disclose the implications of that is that by law you are bound to do it and then if you're if you don't you are a criminal. It's the idea of criminalizing someone for not disclosing that I have an issue with. I want to say that this issue is very complex. There's so many layers to it and now just to play devil's advocate for a minute here when people talk about consent and having consent taken away by not being forthright about an HIV undetectable status I just like to point out the fact and then making it akin to rape. People have sex all the time with other people and they do not tell them the truth about who they are what kind of car they drive how much money they make what kind of job they work whether or not they're battling with severe depression or schizophrenia or any other psychological disorders whether they have diabetes whether they are drug addicts whether they are thieves blah blah blah any number of which things if the other person knew about might not want to have sex with you and so their consent is basically taken away in those situations too however we're not criminalizing someone for lying about their even their name or how old they are or whether they're in a relationship or married etc we don't criminalize that yes it's frowned upon yes ideally morally yes please be honest about yourself to the person whether it's just a hookup or whether you intend to date them casually or you're looking for a long-term relationship of course most of us would agree yes be honest however it's not there's not a law in place that if you lie about something like that then you're going to be a criminal now the reason why I make this analogy to someone who's HIV undetectable is because like those scenarios you're not affecting their health by lying in those situations if you're HIV undetectable you can't transmit the virus you will not transmit the virus and so therefore it does not affect the other person's health in any way whatsoever they will not get HIV therefore at that point it is just your personal private medical history it's just your personal information it doesn't have anything to do with the other person it is a characteristic of who you are in your life and what you're dealing with but it's not an imperative to let the other person know because they're at any sort of immediate danger or risk of HIV with that said I looked on the CDC website so in 19 states there are laws in place that require you if you have HIV to disclose your status to those sexual partners beforehand I want to make a note that these laws were put into place at a time when the science that we had around HIV was in the 1980s a lot of these laws over time are becoming more relaxed because those that was based on a time when HIV was an epidemic we didn't know anything about it there was little to no treatment for it and it really was a danger for a lot of people it's obviously way way way different now you know people will make it the argument that why how can you compare it to diabetes it's nothing like diabetes diabetes is not a communicable disease etc and I go well neither is HIV when you're undetectable and many doctors whom I've spoken with personally and that I've heard from through media have said that it's actually more manageable than diabetes if you think about it and if you're on a one pill a day regimen that's it that's all you have to worry about is one pill once a day nothing else when you have diabetes you have to worry about things like insulin and checking your blood and watching what you eat so in a lot of ways it is it is more manageable so I want to underscore I want to clarify for a lot of people especially in the comments on YouTube people were not able to distinguish the argument that I was making regarding law and HIV disclosure and how I personally feel about disclosure and where I stand morally a lot of you who do follow me and watch my videos and watch my channel know that I always disclose obviously I mean it's all over my social media it's no secret but regardless of that fact I don't assume that the person that I'm potentially going to have sexual relations with knows that and I will bring it up there's one that I talked about HIV and dating and I talk about you know I like to wait until the first time I actually meet somebody or something like that but I usually bring it up well before sex is even on the table just so that people know upfront that's who I am that's how I am I like to be honest transparent open so morally personally I encourage disclosure however I'm not going to judge or belittle or feel the need to criminalize someone who has their own situation there are really I've heard really really tough situations where I'm like wow like I get that completely and in that case I feel like you should be protected from having to disclose because the repercussions of other people finding out and using that negatively and in a way that can hurt you is really real in a lot of places especially in small towns or where stigma is really high relatively speaking we have it fairly well in the US in other countries where it's even illegal to be gay let alone have HIV it's it just presents a whole host of issues again the idea of criminalizing someone in those situations where you're not actually affecting the other person by transmitting HIV just seems outrageous preposterous to me you can have your personal opinion about it morally but I feel like it should end there and if we want people to disclose I think the ways to go about that instead of the fear tactics and the scare tactics of saying you're going to be criminal you're going to be jailed you are going to have a felony on your record I think those are not as effective as say education stigma reduction working within communities on acceptance tolerance and just getting up to speed on where we're at with HIV and medication and studies and all of that that I think should be the focus and not to mention someone who is HIV undetectable is aware first of all that they have HIV be they're on treatment they're on a regimen see they cannot transmit it so I mean someone who is HIV undetectable is in a very good position sexually to pursue sexual relations if they so choose versus someone who is you know kind of flippant about their sexual health who doesn't necessarily regularly take STI tests tests or maybe they took one three months ago and they were negative then and they're telling you yeah I'm fine even though they maybe had an encounter or two or three or whatever since then but they're thinking in their head oh it's someone I know and it's like a hookup buddy and I kind of know them or whatever so I'm not worried about it and you're taking their word because you know they take their own word and I think people take a lot of precautions and assume a lot and trust a lot and people that they don't have HIV or other STIs and it's just not the case and because someone's coming up to you and saying yes I have HIV and I'm undetectable then it's like oh like no I'm not dealing with that I'd rather hook up with someone that I met a club um who says that they have been tested recently and that they're all good or that they don't usually do this type of thing and so you know they're clean and good uh I think that that kind of thinking is really backwards and not intuitive and it's something that people need to be aware of I mean we should just assume that everyone potentially has an STI and potentially has HIV and if they do and they don't know it then they're not getting treated for and that there are a higher risk of transmitting that to you therefore anyway enough of that tangent the point is we all need to take our sexual health into our own hands and be responsible for ourselves yes I think it's it's great it's good I support it if the other person takes the opportunity to disclose to you their HIV status or any other STIs that they may or may not have however you should not rely on other people to start that conversation it is equally if not more so for you your responsibility to start that conversation your sexual health is your responsibility it is your decision and your responsibility whether you use a condom or not it is also your decision or your responsibility whether you are on prep or not which can I think it's like the efficacy is like 96% or something great at the end of the day it's your response your sexual health is your responsibility and if you're taking proper precautions then it shouldn't be a problem and someone with HIV and detectable is definitely not a problem yes we want people to disclose no it doesn't have real life implications if they don't because they're on treatment and they're undetectable that's just how I feel please let me know what you think your thoughts love to hear it I would love to continue this discussion and if it's necessary we can always do a follow-up video and address other like other things because I think this is a complex topic and it's worth diving into and addressing specifics so comment below like this video if you liked it or dislike it if you disliked it I want to hear it I want to know it all so let me know and I'll see you guys soon all right peace