 You really feel cuz I just want to feel with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel I just want to keep it real with you. Yeah. I want to live better. I want to love better Yeah, I want to feel so aligned One time for elevated rhymes two times for showmanship three times for black hands and land ownership revolution I bring to you where the rain bling to you nicey blues on war tools singing to you I am the rebel without a pause no applause. Trust me. I am Chuck D. Get mine off many fools They clock watching my moves and I needed to reappraise a little flavor took some time off now back Jesus black feed It's slumber and unborn all could occur in the curtain until I'm the rose that rose the ex's pros and Rosetta stone Still yelling to do a megaphone always repping baby forever home. I'm the park calling the kettle black I am the flame keeping the kettle warm. I'm the blame for the Renaissance. It's called. I'm writing recited with I love you and writing recited with down feathers on that mean that shit cold And I'm the coldest listen. It's the message right here black boy. Tell me how you really feel Cuz I just want to feel with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel. I Want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better I want to love better sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so alive Y'all give a round of applause to this band right now What's up? What's up? What's up family? I think I fixed my audio issue from last time. So please Let me know if I'm coming in loud and clear. Thank you guys for being here. I Know this stream was kind of impromptu, but I was actually supposed to Go and interview Maggie in person, but you know life be life in But shout out to Maggie. She agreed to join us for this live stream I'll still be doing the in-person interview, but that'll be at a later date Okay, I said I sound good so I must sound good No, I see you Appreciate y'all being here again shout out to Maggie the substitute teacher. She already starting out More than gracious And Yeah, so Today it's gonna be kind of a to the point. Let me look this way. Okay, so the cameras here. I'm trying something different My screen is here I usually have my laptop on this side and I look through the laptop with the camera behind it So it looks like I'm looking at you guys, but again, I wanted to try something different So cameras here. I'm a glance periodically, but my screen is here. So if I'm looking to this side It's because this is where all the information is But yeah, so Maggie the substitute teacher if you guys don't know who she is she is a Chef she is a thought leader and Many many many other things a mother a sister or daughter, but we'll be talking to her about her viral clip She said and I quote Older men see themselves in younger men and older women see themselves as younger women so I want to kind of pick her brain break that down get her background and Kind of get her contribution to this larger How do we solve? How do we fix? How do we? End this this gender divide this gender misunderstanding, so y'all get comfortable We're gonna get into it, but before that if you guys don't know I dropped a video Was it? Yeah, it was today. I dropped a video today another installment of the Christian by default series Video is not performing So please if you guys haven't seen the video, please go over there and click on it one of the frustrating things about YouTube and I and I said this to to Maggie off-air is You know the more you would assume the more work you put in or the more Quality that you have it would lead to more support more viewership more a More sustainable business model or or in this case YouTube channel But I'm finding it to be the complete opposite today's video is Probably not it might be the most difficult video I've ever made Just from an editing standpoint right the The angles the the there's some CGI in it. There's some you know the b-roll And things like that and the conversation like I was I'm talking to a preacher About artificial intelligence about aliens about chat GPT about CRISPR-Cas9, you know conversations that we typically don't have Not just with black elders, but definitely not black elders in the church I'm still Discovering my relationship with that and this project Christian by default is my attempt to Figure out and sort through what Christianity means not just to me, but to our our community and Yeah, I'll be interviewing some really interesting pastors preachers theologians and picking their brain About some of those pressing questions that We had or I guess some of us had as kids, but we got smacked in the mouth, right? You know like one of my questions and I can't remember if I asked it to this particular preacher, but it was Does god love the devil? Right, so we're gonna get deep, you know We're gonna we're gonna we're gonna try to uncover and explore some of our Our I guess paradigms around religion right especially as black people, you know cuz one of the things that baffles my mind is The idea of this Omnipotent omniscient benevolent God who allows slavery to happen for 400 years and everything that happened from there So I'm not approaching it from a place if I have the answers But I have the questions and I want to explore some of those questions. So yeah, definitely check that out There are four other part. Yeah four other parts of that Particular series that were posted probably a year and a half ago and they're linked to the one that was posted today So check that out This gender warship is getting tired Even some of the conversations I'm having that are higher level than Most of the other youtubers who talk about this stuff still not getting the support because it's not bombastic. It's not Inflammatory, but you know, we don't keep it pushing So if you guys see the rate of me releasing videos go down It's because you know, I gotta I gotta get my life together this full-time youtuber thing is no longer working So, yeah, we're gonna we're gonna Get our lives together and I'll post when I can but I still appreciate all of you guys Especially those of you who have supported this work Let me see I've got a The last installment for a while, that's what I'll say of the Kevin Samuel series is dropping this Tuesday In this particular part, I'm talking to Kayla slash miss jiggly booze McSugar tits That's their Instagram name by the way And she talks about how her friendships changed after her Body enhancement surgery So very very very very very interesting Part of our conversation that's dropping Tuesday. Like I said, it's already on the channel. So Set your notifications if YouTube decides to notify you That's good, but you know, sometimes it doesn't so, you know, just help me the best way I can Let me see if I'm missing anything else. Oh, yeah June 24th the hundred we will be in Atlanta, Georgia for our very first event Please please please please Do not wait till the last minute. Go ahead and get your ticket. You can scan the QR code on the screen You can navigate to the about page that is linked in the about page. It's gonna study tickets to the hundred Go ahead and buy your ticket the 10% of tickets already sold out, but there are Some general admission tickets still available. So please please please go ahead get your tickets All right, and that's it shout outs as it she already has it in the chat. So again Go get your tickets Let me see any of the housekeeping stuff Tomorrow I will be joined I will be joined by a good brother To discuss Black generational health He is From my understanding, he's a nutritionist. He is a Also a content creator He's a workout enthusiast Let me Give me one second. Yeah, but yeah, we'll be having a conversation about Some of the Paradoxical truths that he found when it came to his fitness journey apparently he He lost a bunch of weight gained a bunch of muscle and Didn't have to eat a bunch of salads or or do a bunch of different diets But he he did learn more about how his body responded to food Not just the actual food, but when he ate What he ate when So yeah, pull up tomorrow 9 p.m. Eastern will be joined by mr. Kirk Anderson and Yeah, obviously I have questions because I'm on my fitness journey. I'm trying to get all sexy for June 24th So Yeah, yeah, y'all please show up health is wealth. We talk a lot about money We talk a lot about leveling up especially as men we define our our ourselves by our Our economic value, but You have enough conversations with old folks. They'll tell you that your wealth is more important in your health I'm sorry is more important than all of that and and some people would give up all their wealth For better health. So we'll talk about that tomorrow I Think that is it as far as announcements Yeah, that's it as far as announcements again Thank you guys for joining us without further ado. I will go ahead and bring up our illustrious guest miss Maggie the substitute Thank you Absolutely, thank you for joining me. Thank you for joining me. How's your day been? Today was a good day restful of little pampering. So yeah feeling good That's awesome. That's awesome. I need to get like you. I I see your facial, you know, you're looking good You're glowing, you know, I'm very sorry. I couldn't get you on my camera camera because That would have been that would have been fantastic, but we were definitely gonna circle back We're definitely gonna make that happen. I really look forward to it. Yes, ma'am So let's start here I've been waiting for this question for a long time like when anybody interviewed me to ask me like What what does we need to talk mean? How did that even come about? So for you? Maggie the substitute teacher, I'm gonna assume you were substitute teacher but like tell me the story how did that even become your moniker and What's kind of the goal for what it is that you're doing? Oh my goodness This is probably one of the number one questions that I get but let me first start by saying thank you Thank you for the opportunity. I look forward to meeting you in person whenever you're in Atlanta So no, I am not a teacher. I actually work in technology I am the daughter of teachers, but just like you and Kirk Anderson I am been on a health and wellness journey and for me that was getting tested for food sensitivities And so I eat a sugar-free Dairy-free and gluten-free diet, which means I cook with sugar substitutes dairy substitutes and gluten substitutes So when I was thinking about starting a YouTube channel shout out the lead attorney when I heard him say if you're over 35 start a YouTube channel because you've got life experience. I Was thinking something simple like cooking with Maggie or Maggie can cook something lame and This friend was actually like no, that's kind of boring. You need something catchy You need something everyone can relate to and I'm like what I'm not created He said well, you're always cooking with those substitutes. So what about like Maggie the substitute teacher? And I'm like, but I'm not a teacher. He's like, yeah Let's go with that. So Margaret is my name and Maggie is my childhood nickname So that's why I have Maggie the substitute teacher So so the substitute part is a double-on tundra. It's substituting stuff in your food and also tea. That is Really like that I You know, one of the things I would get in trouble for earlier on in college. I would overthink Names and and and and designs and things like that Because I wanted to pack in all the intricacies and double-in triple-on tundras, but nobody would like ask me about it So like that that's I appreciate those details. That's awesome. That's awesome. So Talk about your cooking Channel have you always cooked obviously, you know on on a low level It's one of the things we talk about in the quote-unquote manuscript to differentiate good women From from not so good women. So like what was your journey into culinary arts? What did that start? Well, thank you for the compliment, but I do have a minor correction. I'm not a chef because I've never been to culinary school I'm a home cook. I am the daughter of a retired home science teacher. We called it home economics growing up I'm I come from a traditional Nuclear immigrant family mom dad sister brother and my mom Cooked every day and I thought it was normal. So I cook every day. She made my dad's plate. She served him I cleaned up. She taught me how to do the same I grew up here in Maggie if you do not cook for your children who will cook for them And I'm like I'm 12 playing with Barbies. I don't really know So it really is just about my upbringing and I love to eat clearly But you know, I've always had a weight problem But approaching 40 I'm 47 approaching my 40s that weight problem started to turn into a health problem And I used to be pre-diabetic and I used to have elevated cholesterol and I used to have borderline blood pressure so I'm very passionate about what you said about health as well and I was always cooking for the family but that was kind of that basic like comfort food and I needed to make those changes with the substitutes and so my Cooking channel and my cooking that's online is really my Experimenting with recipes that I want to eat using ingredients that I have to eat. Oh so What what have you learned? I guess some some counterintuitive things that you've learned about food during this journey of trying to find what works best for you and also trying to find because when I talk to women that the toughest part about Culinary arts is finding the time Or or even getting started, you know Kevin Samuels would talk about having a cookbook I don't know if that applies to my generation, but like what what have you learned? to help The let's say 25-year-old woman who's interested in going in that direction, but there's no where to start No, such a good question Well, I would argue that we make time for what we want to make time for so it's either a priority for you Or it's not and you know, I don't say that with any kind of judgment But if we have time to learn the dance moves and all of the latest gossip Then I would argue that we have time to take care of our families But it really just starts with taking care of yourself. So I did have that example at home I just grew up in the kitchen with my mom and I know not everybody was raised that way so if you're 25 and you don't know where to start and I do have a cookbook because Kevin Samuels said you do need a cookbook. I would start with the basics. So you asked a few questions so what I would offer a young woman is First get to know your way around the kitchen have the basic Appliances and utensils, you know a good cutting board a good knife a skillet a pot a pan, you know those basic things Make sure you have those and you know what they are Then I would start with cooking what you like to eat So if you're a burger and fries kind of person find a way to make those types of things at home That way you will have the motivation because you're actually cooking something that you enjoy And then as you progress with that I always recommend that you try to learn how to cook one item from each category So a breakfast meal, right? It could be eggs. It could be pancakes. It could be French toast Gotta know how to make a sandwich or something simple for lunch And then you know a dinner and then you expand from there Then I would learn how to make one item from each of the protein So a fish or a seafood dish if you eat that a chicken meal if you eat that You know a steak or some beef meal or those kinds of things so you start with the basics and you explore You know, I have fun with it But if it's a chore for you then I would at least be able to do the basics and that's what I would recommend Okay You also talked about your wife's club and So when I hear wives club, I think a Almost school or finishing school digital finishing school for women in interested in monogamy interested in like Homemaking and all that stuff. So I want you to elaborate on that like what exactly was the inspiration behind it? And what is the goal? What would you like to see 10 years from now come out of that? Oh, wow That's a good question. So the goal Is community I don't believe that we've ever arrived. There's no perfect wife We get things wrong all the time but the goal is to learn from them and I get better and I actually booked a session with Kevin because I always used to get convicted I was one of those ninja watchers, right? But every time he would say where are the older women to teach the young as a boy mom I don't have daughters and so I would always feel this kind of like Because I was one of those women just happy and the cul-de-sac mine in my business Don't bother me and I won't bother you but I did feel that conviction to give back I think that's normal and what we should do as we age So I booked the session for Kevin because I didn't have this community I tried to talk to different women in corporate that I worked with not the right environment I would get shouted down called names pick me. Yeah, I pick me. I don't want to die alone So I wanted to create this community, but I wanted to do it in the privacy of his patreon group I was a member of his patreon and I'm so grateful Not only did Kevin give us his blessing he actually came up with the name the wives club And so what we would do how it started it started with just me and now we have several ladies that are in the wives club But I would watch Kevin shows like a lot of people would watch his shows Monday Monday Monday Wednesday and Friday on YouTube and then Tuesday and Thursday on Instagram and sometimes it's hard to get feedback Directly, but if you see that behavior and someone else you're like, ooh, is that what I sound like? Is that what I look like? Is that how I argue? Is that my tone of voice? Is that my mean mug? I was able to look at these women that were calling in and I would say, okay Let me make sure I don't do that Let me make sure I don't do that and I wanted to create you know I won't say the term Bible study, but just plan on what you said earlier just that kind of Using Kevin shows as kind of a lesson plan and then we would meet once a week to talk about a shows privately in the patreon What did we learn from that? What are our action items? How are we going to be better moving forward? And so that was kind of that textbook if you will that we would study and so people started to join the wives club And it was private. This has been since 2021 and different people would hear about it and they would say oh This is incredible. You need to get this out there. You need to get this out there for various reasons I'm sure you can understand why we were like, uh-uh. No, this is our little baby This is our little private space. So we loved it but um, we did decide to take it public after meeting in San Diego at the lead attorneys meet up and we locked arms and said, okay We feel strong enough to take this to YouTube. So really what it's about It's not a school per se with a curriculum because even though Kevin is gone his message is still with us So we still do the same thing we met last night. We watch a show per week We take our notes and we come together and discuss but now we do that publicly so that people can share if you're interested I know it's not for everyone But um, that's why I said whether you are currently married Formerly married or want to be married I do believe that wives should move differently because it is a mindset and you're welcome in the wives club So a lot to come. Uh, we will see stay tuned people are asking for courses and meet-ups and books and all that But uh, we're like four months old maybe so we'll see our wives Born or made Do you think there's a certain disposition somebody needs? to Especially in the 21st century where the I guess the world tells us that that monogamy is optional Um, do you think there's like a stuff that a woman Needs to be comprised of That lends her to want to be a wife or do you think you can Give me anybody give me your broken and your huddled masses and I could turn them into a wife. How do you think that works? No, wives are made. Absolutely. It's an intentional decision and I respect that it's not for everyone We had someone in the chat last night that say, yeah, I feel like I got a few hot girl a few more hot girl summers in me That's great. Go do that over there. But um, what I do feel strongly about is that um And my man was actually kind of pushing me towards this, you know, because I wanted to mind my business But he was like the other voice is becoming the louder voice and the problem is that's what people are thinking Is the standard is normal and women who do want relationship and women who do want to prioritize family And you know a long term or marriage relationship are becoming more forgotten So I support people doing what's best for them But yes, it is an intention and you move deliberately starting with the mindset and then your actions follow You talked about kevin samuels You know, I've been open about some of my critiques of him. I've defended him I I So my introduction to kevin samuels wasn't average at best. It was a video he did talking about Being at a corporate event and some white lady thought he was the help Um, so my introduction was a very community minded That I think that the name of that particular video was black men belong there Right. So that particular message was directed towards black men saying that hey, you can't just allow Our women to be at the art museums and the governor's ball and the the american heart association Dinners you need to be there too because our women are there Um now Kind of like we we alluded to earlier YouTube Media unfortunately Forces you to be to become or be or become Bombastic right because people don't latch on to Substance they latch on to car crashes And I think in my opinion, that's why the average at best stuff overshadowed The more substantive stuff in my opinion that he was doing and he was talking about so for women who are There might be something to this kevin samuels guy That has galvanized so many black men I care about black men, but for some reason I can't get past people say his tone people say his disposition What it's it's kind of a two-part question was that Something that you had to overcome If it was or if it wasn't how would you encourage other women again that 25 year old 30 year old woman who's never heard a man be that blunt To get over that hurdle and get some of those gems for yourself Yeah, such a good question. That was probably the biggest critique that he had but Allow me to say if you ever had the honor of speaking with kevin one-on-one. He was incredibly gracious and um We all have a youtube persona and yes, that was really him But he spoke in that way to get our attention and it worked Um, so to answer the question as far as did I have to get over that? Not really like I said, I grew up with a traditional african family And my dad was the decision maker and when he made a decision that was it, of course, you know, he included my mom, but um, I'm used to That type of direct feedback, you know Being a boy mom and I've seen how boys move which is very different and even though i'm amicably divorced from their father We co-parent really well and the boys need their dad because somehow when he says it they listen And you know with me i'm just mom and then also being in a long-term relationship, you know with a man That's a very traditional man. It's kind of like I'm used to it, but I understand why a lot of women are not so You know, kevin often used to say eat the meat and spit out the bones Um, I wouldn't let the tone distract you, but if you're struggling with that, I would say Observe men Look at how they act in the barbershop. Look at how they act on the sports field men That's just how men communicate. So don't get offended by it. Listen for the message and take what you can from it What what do you think? Um, because because I think it speaks to something greater our community It's very matriarchal. Uh, a lot of the men are not around. So I guess in women's defense They don't have a dad that Was blunt. Um, I I know girls who All they have is aunts like they don't even have uncles um, so so when when you're encountered with a 52 year old kevin samuels on the internet saying the thing obviously to me It's like, yeah, he sounded like my uncle. He sounded like, you know, my homeboy He sounded like me but to to the average woman unfortunately in our community. It was harsh So do you think there's a larger conversation we Should be having about women's kind of innate aversion to That kevin samuels raw uncut simon cow-esque Um conversation style Absolutely not Absolutely not. We're not making excuses for that. That's how men are and it's almost offensive because especially those of us that are corporate Corporate women we hear that talk in the boardroom and we don't have an issue with it We hear that talk from professors and we don't have an issue with it We hear that talk from Legislators and we don't have an issue with it. Why do we have an issue with it with our own men? Absolutely not Hmm What Was kevin samuels legacy in your opinion? Oh my goodness, uh, so so much god. I miss him dearly. Um, I think kevin woke up the The sleeping giant if you will and he dared say We're out of order and I think the biggest difference With kevin and I know the bio dog and dialon and all of that was very very um Jarring but he was one of the first ones to say hey get on the program or not You know and live with the consequences of your decision. He was not bothered Um, if you choose to go the other way, he just wanted you to make that choice informed so I think he started the conversation and uh for me And uh, this is what I told him when we met I felt like the um Small town simple girl Uh had a voice uh the girl who was not um A conventional Beauty in the sense of you know, I don't fit the The runway type of look that a lot of our young ladies aspire to I'm just an average woman And I accept that and I'm okay with that and I feel like he promoted Traditional roles in a way that was so Needed and I'm so grateful for that. So that is my goal to continue because like I said, he's gone but his message lives on That's that's excellent And you know, it's actually something that I have uh touched on during my my interviews. Um, I I call it I guess I will call it the tom brady paradigm And what I mean by that so I played football. So I use a lot of sports analogies, but Tom brady is considered the greatest quarterback of all time He was not the most athletic He was not the tallest the fastest the strongest. He did not have the best arm He did not understand the playbook that he wasn't the most accurate But what he had he magnified and he used it and I've been using that I guess uh analogy to talk to women about how they can be more competitive In the market, but there seems to be some resistance to even the notion of competing for a man Particularly a black man Um Why do you think that is? slash For the women who have gotten to the point of having the self-awareness to say I'm not a runway model. I'm not I didn't get those natural gifts But I think I can still be competitive What should their approach be how should they go about you know trying to stand out in this Uh oversaturated maybe even a dating pool or dating market Ah interesting another good question and I admittedly don't have a lot of dating experience I've had two long-term relationships. I met my ex-husband when I was 18. He was my college boyfriend Yeah married at 25 right out of school and I was married for 10 years Absolutely loved being married have two boys uh from marriage But I did I got caught up in a little bit of that modern woman mindset You know we're equal we're partners and do everything a man can do But what I failed to realize is I can't do it until I'm 65 and I don't want to do it until I'm 65 So unfortunately the marriage did end in the force But since then I've been in another long-term relationship with a you know one percent Very traditional man, and I've had to do a lot of work to get on his program And I've never been happier, but again, it's the mindset So for women who know that they want that the first thing I would say is I don't want to say be proud of it, but I want to say don't Hide it. I remember having two we all have to code switch a little bit But I remember playing that game a corporate, you know Like I'm the promotions and the salary and the bonus and all of that was great in the moment But in my heart of hearts, I've always wanted to be a wife and a mother And I'm proud to say that now and I'm glad that I did prioritize relationships, but Don't be afraid that that feeling is real for you because it's only going to get more intense as you age. That's the first thing The second thing is you're going to have to surround yourself with the type of women and the other type of relationships that do promote that because unfortunately, you know the culture that we live in Generates these workhorses and that's what we do and we just you know grind and grind and grind until Your best years have either been hot girl summering or put towards your career And there's nothing wrong with that. I still work, but now I work in a way that puts family first and so I would advise any woman to just make sure the moves that you make whether it's job or location or whatever If family and relationships are a priority everything that you do should signify that Why do you think Because that that message seems very simple straightforward Why do you think that is such an elusive message for so many people not just women but so many people to grasp Well, I agree with you. I think the example that we have is so skewed. It has become the new normal I am now kind of this like traditional throwback, but I I promise you At 13 I was getting straight A's cooking cleaning the house from top to bottom And doing the whole family's laundry not just mine. I thought that was normal Only when I left home and got to college and got to corporate america I started to see this. I'm not making a plate. He can do his own I was floored. So the same reaction that people are having to me like what generation are you from I was having 20 years ago to everybody else like you talk to your parents like that like that was my Example so because we have generations of and kevin talked about this, you know the new black family Unfortunately is some version of grandma single mom and kids, you know, it's not the nuclear intact family So I have to remember that And so I look like that crazy person saying, you know Iceberg right ahead and everybody's looking around like it looks fine to me Until life happens and you know, we all hit the wall. I'm 47, but I'm looking forward to my golden years Unfortunately, a lot of my peers are finding themselves just Working in sick of it, but they've gotten sucked up in it. And that's all that they know How do we In your opinion, how can we those of us who care about Potentially rehabilitating some of our lost ones I'm a guy I can't Speak womanese necessarily Um, I think are better than average, but like in certain days. I'm like, yeah A woman needs to translate this How can we reach? Some of these women that we're talking about some of these women who grow up with grandma aunties and mom Some of these women who grew up in foster care some of these women who are more susceptible to this corrosive culture that In my opinion has been established for us, but unfortunately we kind of keep it afloat How do we reach them? Yeah, that's such a hard one My heart goes out to I mean, I just feel like I'm almost everybody's mom and you know That used to be our community where if you saw a kid misbehaving even if it wasn't your old your own You know, we would say something and that's I still do that In a way that is A gentle, you know treading lightly One be the example, you know try If you can at all, I'm very intentional about how I show up and I'm not going to just go with the fad You know, I want my boys to see what a real woman, you know looks like so I'm very intentional about what I do And what I don't do Um, and then I would also be honest if you've made mistakes the younger generation Needs to know, you know what? I was just like you I see myself in a lot of younger women, you know, just getting caught up in that Corporate, I mean, I never was the, you know, uh hot girl summer city girl That was just never me but I do remember thinking, you know, the bonus the promotion it was really what was the most important and um being honest about it and saying look, you know, I get it Um, I often say when you're in your 20s, it's really hard to see your 40s, right? But now in my 40s 60 years, you know right there And then if they do reach out, I don't, you know, point my finger and tell anybody you have to do this, but I will um Gently encourage, you know A different way of thinking a different way of moving Um, and if people reach out to me, I had a consult right before this and um, you know, I'm I'm always a resource but uh Yeah, people have to want it for themselves and uh, that's the hard part because we don't want anybody to suffer So let's let's get into the viral clip. I think last time I checked it said, uh Two million two point something it's going crazy. I know you said, um, you had two was a 2000 subscribers Not that long ago and now you're sitting at what 30 something Two months ago. I had 2000 subscribers and I've just crossed over to 36 000 so I'm having quite the viral moment right now So before we get into the clip talk about What that's been like because I'm still working through that for myself But like going from relative obscurity to Now random people know who you are at least they know your face What what is that even like for you? I don't think random people know who I am. I mean it hasn't happened out Two million Yes, okay. Yes, that is correct. Um, it's exciting but it's confusing. Um, and it was uh Draining in a good way. It's stress. It's good stress, but it's stress So of course the excitement, you know, I mean, I have a cooking channel and we all start our youtube channels Well, not me all some people start their youtube channel as a hobby. Some people hope it's an exit strategy You know, so I expected slow growth because like you said I have, you know, a very family friendly and wholesome channel. Nothing goes viral with what I do So I expected I was going to be at it for some time So to have the spike is exciting Um, it was confusing to me because I honestly don't think I said anything that earth shattering I was invited to a podcast of which I didn't know anybody who was going to be there besides mtr And melanie king who I had just met but the other people no idea the topic no idea I was invited to join and I was like, okay, my first podcast. I'll do it for the experience So I sat down and we're having this conversation and I was struggling because relationships just always seem to be contentious. Who's right? Who's wrong? I don't get into that. I think relationships can be beautiful their work. Um, but I'm not trying to compete with anyone You know, we're not equal or equally valued, but we're not equal. We're different And so I was just thinking in my head like why is this so crazy And I just started thinking as a boy mom of the conversations that I have had with men that I respect Helping me helping me be a mom to two boys that were running around kung fu fighting air drying Naked instead of a towel, you know towel like all this weird stuff that you just think something's wrong with them Do I need to get them tested? And I would talk to men their dad, you know, my guy people at work and they'd be like, ah mom It's no big deal. That's just how boys are. I was like that and I turned out fine And so those were the conversations that I would have and I'd be like, okay Everything's going to be all right. So I was thinking to myself like, hmm Men seem to be able to do a good job of compartmentalizing their life. I was a boy I was a young man. I'm an adult now. I'm an old man. And so they can look back and say I see that kid. He reminds me of myself And so that's where pause for pause for a second I want to play because maybe some people haven't seen the clip So let me play it before you really dive into it, but I'm gonna play it real quickly All right, so this is the viral clip in question and then we will go back to Maggie I would argue that if an older woman had told this younger lady or any younger lady that this is how boys see you If you do that, you would act differently if someone had told you that I think men do a much better job of checking each other because men see themselves in younger men Women see themselves as younger women So a man bars I would argue that if an older woman Okay, I'm sorry It's fine Go ahead. Go ahead. Right. So to answer your first question and then I'll get back to the explanation So this was an over two hour podcast with about eight or nine people And so I participated. I said what I said I didn't even think it was that earth shattering when we came back I put my apron on and started cooking because that's what I do. I have a youtube cooking channel and I asked my editor any of the Speaking parts that I had in that podcast could you just clip for me and I'm going to put them up on my channel So my viewers can see what I've been up to Never thought anything about it So in that moment, I'm just remembering. Hmm Men seem to be able to go through the phases of life and then move out of them however women Myself included There's a part of me that just feels like, you know, I'm forever 16. I still have that You know youthful like hope sometimes, you know as a mature woman I do try to carry myself in a way that represents my years But you know, we don't like to tell our age We don't like to think that we're you know Hit the wall all of those things that women push back on It was because men see themselves in the younger men that they see around But women still see ourselves as that young woman. So to me, it was common sense I didn't think it was anything earth shattering. So there were five clips from that podcast I posted all of them and then that one just started getting forwarded and shared and people were remixing it And putting flames and putting polls and I was just like what I went from Like I said 2000 I was getting about a thousand subscribers a day 1500 a day My comments were just that I'm like, what happened? What did I do? My kids were like, did you fall and it go viral? Like what happened mom? I was like, I don't know So that's how that clip came about So women see themselves as young women What's at the core of that you think that is that's nature or nurture? I think it's more Nurture there might be a little bit of nature, but I just think of the women of old, you know, my mom Even me I'm an older woman now I know even though on the inside I still have a little bit of girliness I am well aware that I'm a mature woman I am well aware that I am not a good choice for a man that wants a family I am well aware that my best years even though I think I'm aging gracefully I work really hard at that But my best years to be able to Leverage or ask for what I want are behind me. So I have to really overperform in other areas I think that That used to be normal and understood and that is why women moved with urgency to get life And family settled down I think what's happening now with 40 is the new 20 and whatever foolishness Women are believing that they've still got it and you know, honestly, I was talking to my man and he said It's so unfortunate because If I tell you I'm 47 And you say wow, you don't look a day over 35 that to me is A much better compliment than me trying to act and pretend Like I'm 30 35 when everybody knows good and well I'm over 45. It actually makes you look older And the women that are trying to fool themselves and compete The younger men see through it all men see through it. I think for me It's much better to act my age and to be a much better version of The mature woman that I am so one of the things I can't remember where I read this or Saw it or heard it But they said that part of the reason why A lot of older women aren't putting younger women on game is because they view younger women as competition Absolutely, right like they're they're vying for the same men with these 20 Year-old women kind of like the whole I don't know if you've seen the movie precious and she thought her daughter was trying to steal her boyfriend What are your what are your thoughts on that slash Is there Hope is there a future where The distinction becomes clear between Younger women and older women and and the older women are enthusiastic about imparting some of their knowledge on the younger women and the younger women or enthusiastic about Gaining knowledge from the older more seasoned women. Like how do we get closer to that? Oh, yeah, that's a million dollar question. I think there's always hope I'm a hopeful person, but it is going to be a lot of work So for the older women, I think the reason why there's competition now is because Women didn't prioritize relationship When they had that advantage. So now they've reached my age and they're scrambling, but unfortunately you know men Men have the balance the the benefit of time that we don't so if you're a woman my age compared to a man my age He could still start over if he wanted to I'm way past the wall. So what it requires is Women that have gotten the relationship Settled so now you're free to actually share the wisdom that hopefully you have learned But if you're still searching if you're still looking You're not going to be willing or able to share what you've learned. I know if I were still out here I would be focusing on getting selected not helping other people. That's just natural So the women who have not gotten what they want I still think they could be helpful because if they want to they can be honest about look You know, I went hard for that law degree, you know physicians office or whatever and I have all of that But uh, there's still something missing. So keep that in mind and make better decisions than I did or They can say nothing That's always an option. I think what's damaging is saying Yeah, I'm the rich auntie and this is the life and I'm living the life And I just think it's natural that we want a family of our own. It's not for everybody. I get that so That's part of it and then the other part of it younger women receiving But I would argue that a big reason why younger women are not open and willing is because they look at the older women and they're like Can't really tell me anything because look at you And so I do feel like the responsibility is on us But all we can do is try if people aren't willing to receive then that's fine But I know I use that judgment even at work, you know in leadership or whatever, you know Before I take, you know council or advice from someone I look and say Would I want to be Looked at in this company the way they are looked at and if they don't have a good reputation Then I take it with a green of salt. Okay, and I do my own thing Hmm So let's let's talk about the men I strongly believe Our dysfunction is kind of symbiotic as a community You know the dysfunction of the men leads to the dysfunction of the women at least to the dysfunction of the men and vice versa Right What are you seeing and especially as a boy mom? What are you seeing? Happening with boys What is going on with black boys? What is going on with black men? And in what ways does it contribute to the issues that we In my opinion over indulge in discussing on the internet about black women My gosh, that's a heavy one. That's what I do. All my questions are like You know, I have a cooking channel, right? Listen, I trust you. I trust you. I think you can handle it. Yeah, I'll do my best. Um I think it always starts with leadership and men are natural should be natural leaders and so um, I think for whatever reason that Just like what I said The normal average woman our voice has gotten dampened the normal kind of quirky maybe nerdy boy has been um Diminished and the image in our community of success is that fast life is that baller life is that um I would argue very unattainable life for average people which most of us are and that's why kevin said he really did kevin Samuel said he really didn't include athletes and entertainers And I think what happens with young boys is that they see That image and they see how not just women but other men look up to that image and then you want to aspire to that And if you can't make that then it's just kind of like there's nothing else in between you just kind of give up and it's like Oh, well, I'm not going to be that so I'll just do nothing I would say Bring the nerds back. I'm a stem girl like Hello, I mean I work in technology, you know, my man my ex-husband. We're all like just regular people. There has to be You know an acceptance of normal, you know Whether you're a teacher or blue collar or a bus driver or any of these things like that has to be The representation that you can still have success. You can still have respect Military, I mean, there's so many different paths. And so I make it a point as a boy mom to socialize my boys with Architects and you know navy people and just whatever when we were growing up We watched entertainment and we knew okay. That was an entertainer and then that was you know back to the real world I don't know if it's social media or whatever now. It's like the kids think that's real and it's not And so we're chasing something. That's just not attainable So in your optimism How do we how do we walk towards And again, my my focus is the black community. How do we work work and walk towards Getting this thing together. What do you think? The delegation of men who understand Um, what needs to happen? What what what do they need to do? What do the delegation of women? who are fit feminine friendly cooperative You know all the acronyms. What do they need to do For us to move and change the paradigm of our community away from glamorizing this function to Celebrating family and productivity. Oh, absolutely. That would be my dream I think the men teach the men and the women teach the women just like it's been in other cultures for hundreds of years So we have the regular working class, you know, average hardworking brothers You know, make sure that you're visible in the community if you see a young kid, you know acting up or whatnot You don't have to risk your life, but you know speak to him encourage him Likewise the women the regular women need to encourage and say I know you're not popular now But wait Shout out to the late bloomers. Your time will come And then we encourage these two groups of regular people to come together and we celebrate that We have, you know, there's always going to be that small group of athletes and entertainers and there's nothing wrong with that I think they serve a purpose too, right? We can all kind of like turn off our every day and enjoy a show But after a while showtime is over and we get back to the real world So we've got to get regular people getting with regular people And those of us that are older need to encourage Our young girls to work with a man and build something together like we've done for generations This entitlement that you're supposed to live this baller lifestyle on, you know An electrician salary is foolishness. And so we have people overlooking each other Then another generation comes and we don't have community. So that's what I would say be the example and encourage Normal people getting together Last question The ebony k. Williams situation, I don't know if you uh You came across that are you familiar with it? I've heard of it, but honestly, I have not watched it But I've been asked about it. So feel free to ask. I'm just very intentional about what I consume And if it's not helpful to me, I don't watch it So I'll I'll do the bigger picture because for me whenever I consume anything I'm thinking of like what does it say about The zeitgeist where we are as a community where we are as a culture and basically For me it boiled down to How do you have the conversation about Hypergamy And a woman of a certain status stature whether from an educational standpoint whether from a career achievement standpoint or purely from an IQ standpoint Subjecting herself to Partnering or pairing with a man who She views as or might be objectively lesser than her How do we How do we have the conversation about a lawyer? potentially mating or pairing with a Bus driver somebody of that social economics that do you think it's a it's a reasonable ask If so why if not why not? I mean ultimately men ask And women we either accept or decline and I understand Where she and a lot of professional women are coming from I fell into the same thing The problem is these big jobs these big six-figure salaries all these things that we sign up for are great in the moment Believe me corporate america has a lot of benefits And i'm not saying that you have to um You know dim your light I always think about the long game and the problem that I think a lot of women is short-sighted is that These big jobs are breadwinner type jobs and back in the past you had Usually the man but the husband who had that breadwinner job And then the wife who was more of a support system. She may work but that Responsibility didn't fall on her hips. It was on his shoulders Now we have women who say, you know, I can do everything a man can do and yes, you can But the problem is when you sign up for that big breadwinner job It puts you in that role where you're going to have to continue to finish what you started And what a lot of women lose sight on that I did as well I hold my hand up here In your 20s and 30s, you think you can do anything you couldn't tell me anything I was you know in the office long commute all of that stuff Pandemics set me down and I was kind of like, oh my gosh. I'm so much happier at home I didn't know we're not built for that stress and I always ask people Show me a 50 and 60 year old woman who's going just as hard as a man Her age we naturally slow down So the problem is we're making decisions in our 20s and 30s That we're not really able to sustain in our 50s and 60s And then what happens is you find yourself having that desperation and all this competition and craziness that we talked about Because so many women, you know with these big jobs. It's like, oh my god. I'm so tired. Please relieve me from this Then when you have a man who is um An average man, which again, I'm average. It's normal. Both of my parents are teachers. I mean they're phd's, but they're teachers We discount that man in the beginning But we've got that inflated bravado that we're going to be able to do this And then when you get older and you want that hvac man or that military man to come clean up your mess He's looking at you like you didn't want me when I was you know young So I think that is where I feel I can add value And kind of say hey winter is coming in for some of us. It's here so I caution women, of course you can go for that big job and do whatever But just keep in mind what you're signing yourself up for And the pool of men that you're going to be able to choose from is going to be infinitely smaller And at that later age men have the leverage and if they want a family They're going to pick a woman 10 15 maybe 20 years. You're a junior and you're going to be out here alone So just think about those accolades if it's something that's going to sustain you So I like to have one more question So One of the things that I bring up um During my interviews I think I asked one young lady. I was like, you know It seems to be the case that Younger women are asking men Their age to be more than their fathers and their grandfather's work And Simultaneously are unwilling to be half of what their grandmothers and mothers were Right With that being said and and I think that by itself is worth the conversation But the reality I'm 30, right? I just turned 30 last last week. So I've been outside But the reality is women are Asking for us to have a certain range That from my understanding of history, we've never been asked to have we we need to be everything that grandpa was Same testosterone level But be more self-aware be more emotionally intelligent Be more poetic be more Intuned with the all that stuff And I think I think there's a critique there, right? But the reality is if I'm giving my 18 year old brother advice It's something he's going to have to do whether he likes it or not if he wants to compete if he wants to Broad his options as much as possible so he can then be selective and I have to deal with nonsense How Would you encourage men to understand That because I I hear you saying Bring the nerds back Like I said, I'm 30. I've been outside. It ain't gonna happen They want to park with a phd They want dynamic range And I think it's only going to go in that direction, especially as we become more I guess asexual as a culture So what would you encourage men your your sons to do? Or how would you encourage them to think about this? to navigate In the real world and not necessarily the hypothetical what I wish it was but like literally what it is how Should men who may be struggling with that because men tend to be a bit more one-dimensional just on average How can they I don't know if my question is getting across like how can they understand that because I I know how I try to explain it to Men, but how would you try to explain it? Yeah, that's a tough one and a couple clear occasional first of all clearly I'm not a man So I would never presume that I could tell a man how to live but I will share from a boy mom perspective um And I want to just clarify what I said bring the nerds back. Look. I hear you 100 percent I'm not expecting Young women who are selecting to choose the nerds over, you know the fast life What I'm saying is those of us that are older We need to be able to say this young man is going somewhere. He's not there yet, but he works hard He's dedicated. He you know, that's what I do For young people as opposed to look at him girl. We focus on the wrong things. And so that's that's what we're seeing in the culture As a boy mom and I used to hear Kevin say this often Kevin Sam you'll say this often that you know, we women don't understand men and You know, I'm not going to sound too radical, but I do believe when you have like I'm just saying like co-ed schools and this type of thing men and women are equal this whole thing It does blur the line between what men are good at and what women are good at It's like we're all supposed to be the same and I experienced this as a boy mom. I have a son who It was always a struggle. He didn't want to sit still and when you have elementary and middle high school teachers you know, they start to ask questions and want to test and label And that's when I would talk to men and I'd be like he runs everywhere I just told him to put his stuff in the hamper. Why is he, you know, kung fu fighting? They're just like that's just boy so many times men told me that's just boys um So what would I tell the men kevin used to say this Young pup or young buck, you know, it's not your time yet. It is hard for men in the Early 20s to early 30s, you know, kevin samuels used to say You're going to be at the bottom because you've got to be heads down. You have to grind. You have to eat. You know what? Unfortunately because women have Their youth and their beauty at that same age They're always going to be able to try to demand or ask for more because they have the attention Oh my how the tables turn and delayed gratification is hard but How many men have a story about women who didn't really want to talk to them then now? Hey big head and whatnot. So I would encourage young men to really focus on Being the best version of themselves and setting themselves up for the success You just are not going to have the leverage that you want in your early years and it's going to it's going to hurt It's just going to hurt but 30 32 35 If you have done the work You will be in the pole position and you will be able to choose. So that means your 20s You may go out with friends. You may have you know experiences But you know trying to settle down and have a woman Respect you and submit to you and get on your program The way that I think is necessary for a lifetime. You have not Earned the right to command that yet and it's just the hard truth, you know, just like someone like me, you know I wasn't a head turner. I never am and I accept that people get to know me and they're like, well, you know Maggie's pretty cool, but I understand and I accept I'm going to have to over perform So fit feminine and friendly I struggle with fitness, you know, that's a challenge for me But I have to make sure that I'm very feminine and I work on, you know, being I'm always friendly, but You have to know your limitations and then Make the advantages that you have Work in your favor, but it's just time. It's just time. I would also encourage men to You know have that network of men that they are That wolf pack that men need to bounce ideas off of each other. They'll try and do it alone But just know Father time is undefeated and I would also encourage men to Look outside of your immediate circle. There is a woman that thinks the world of you and In time you will find her What is it? What is a counter-intuitive? maybe A tip that you would give men about the female psyche I want to make sure I understand the question the counterintuitive like give them some insight into how women think Yeah, yeah, something that might not be obvious But like if I was to pull 50 women, they'd be like Actually, yeah, that's kind of true. But men are like, what? Like I have some that I've heard during my interviews But like is there something that you feel like men fail to understand about women that would help us In our You know interactions Oh, man. I mean to me, it's kind of obvious, but I don't really believe in this bad B Boss B. I think women are trembling on the inside I believe that It's normal and natural for me and for most women I don't want to be out here Unattached I belong to a man. I belong in a relationship. And so I would call it a lot of false bravado Especially the ones that have so much going on, you know, what's really behind all of that You know, Kevin Samuels used to talk about this too when he would have consults with women Big six figure salary, you know women And he would ask them if I had the man of your dreams, you know And tomorrow your life could be completely different Would you give it all away and they would just melt into a puddle of tears because This is hard. It's not only hard for women. We women have to understand It's hard for men. It is the modern day coal mine, you know for a man to get up and go out And work with his brain or work with his back and put up with everything that's out there We have lost so much respect for the way a man is willing to work You know, I said earlier how many women in their 50s and 60s are still going just as hard But men keep going until they can't anymore. You know, I just I have so much respect for men And you know, I think about with my boys. I'm like, look if you find one In your youth that loves you for you before you have anything to offer, you know, consider yourself lucky But prepare yourself and I've told them as a mom You're never going to have any pressure for me to get married or have a family. And I said, don't bring home any Illegitimate babies. We don't do that But take as much time as you need. You got to make your future the one that you want I know I asked like three extra questions, but thank you so so much Maggie. Do you have any final thoughts before I let you go? You know, I would just offer that it's all the work in progress and I have not arrived. I'm not perfect. I mess up. I'm still trying to figure this thing out But I am trying to be the best version of myself and I believe in sharing what I've done, right And what I've done wrong But you know, I'm just a mom And a home cooker and I'm just as surprised as y'all that I went viral. So I'm happy to be here as a resource. I will continue to Share from my perspective and if it's helpful, I'm glad to be that So much Maggie. Thank you again, like I said earlier for being so accommodating This has been a an absolute pleasure. I love learning about People's perspectives Particularly people who've seen a bit of life, you know, so I want to appreciate you I want to thank you and if there's anything I can do to contribute to your ministry Please don't hesitate to let me know. Okay. Thank you so much Absolutely. Take care now. I'm gonna go ahead and read some of these super chats and uh, I will Call it a night, but I will talk to you soon. Okay. All right. Thank you. Thanks everyone. Bye. Yes, ma'am All right y'all shout out again to Maggie the substitute teacher that was A fantastic conversation. Um, she was a pleasure um As always, you know, I try to focus on my guests. So I'm not Visiting with these super chats, you know, maybe I could be a better youtuber, but a shout out to everybody who Um is in the chat because the chat is really just members and superchatters. So y'all are Financially supporting the ministry and you keep what we're doing afloat. Um Let's see first up. We've got the brevet alex minor $10 he says I've lost 60 pounds in the last six months Let me know if you want to chop it up about it. Absolutely I need to lose 30. I'm I'm too last I weigh myself. I'm 234 right now I'm trying to get to 200 to be fair. I haven't been 200 since high school And I played football so I was in better shape But I feel like if I get to 200 I'm gonna be moving and grooving But yeah, yeah, so uh, he's referring to tomorrow's stream Featuring kirk. We'll be talking about black health So definitely i'm gonna hit you up bro And uh, you know, i'm gonna combine whatever wisdom you give me with kirk and see if I can uh Get my life together All right, so we've got real bra bravado network. He says team maggie in the building listen maggie's got some fans here Shout out to maggie Luke castley lukeasley. I've heard that name before but I don't think I've seen you in my chat Says the world needs more maggies. Absolutely. Absolutely um Let's see afro disciple. He says maggie exemplifies wife energy love it We need more of those kinds of women to change the image of our people for the better. Absolutely Absolutely, you know, I'm all about Setting proper examples. I'm all about authenticity um, and uh, absolutely we need more productive paradigms of manhood and Womanhood uh in the black community. Shout out to lukeasley for also becoming a channel member All right now we got some of the hundred dollar boys, uh, we've got thane Shout out to you It looks like a south african name Uh, it says pay attention to the wise women like maggie and lukeasley. Thank you so much for the support Mr. Option one shout out to you brother $100 super chat says maggie is a gem Absolutely thane again. Let me just let me just keep this one Um Uh, mr. Option one long time boss. Oh, yeah, so y'all were talking to each other with money. Y'all must be nigerian Y'all just throwing money at each other for shout out to uh, thane and mr. Option one again with the responses salute to you Also thane Man Maggie's got some support Maggie's got some support, but you know, I'm all about um image I'm all about Optics, you know And I say that with a grain of salt because I think our community overindulges in optics Like we care more about what shit looks like than what shit is Um, but I think it's also important from a branding perspective That the black community is represented by things that work You know and people that work So, you know, I I I love what Maggie represents and apparently, you know, she's got Some heavy hitting support As well And you know, I'm a huge fan of supporting what you want to see more of because unfortunately I think on the internet we spend more time complaining about what we don't like versus supporting what we like Again, Maggie with the super chat. She says an absolute honor and a privilege to be here. Thank you so much, Maggie And please I want you to watch my content because I want to pick your brain About uh, what it is that I'm doing. Um, I have a series Entitled Kevin samu started this conversation Um, it's got 130 episodes So, yeah, just click around click on stuff that piques your interest. I try to be pretty I guess provocative with the titles um From like a novel standpoint Not a trying to piss people off standpoint. So Yeah, please please watch and then I have another series called listen to black men The series, uh, I dropped an episode for today was christian by default Uh, and then I have another series called black marriage master class. So there's a there's a bunch of stuff to choose from Unfortunately The stuff that I wish had more fanfare doesn't Uh and the stuff that has the most fanfare is more of the Look at these women stuff, but you know, I see the here nor there. Um, again, thank you. I am absolutely grateful For your time your energy and your effort today And uh, yeah asking hard questions is kind of my shtick So please don't be scared away. That's that's what I do But I think you handled all my questions gracefully. So another round of applause That's it. Thank you as well best mod. She says beautiful maggie Thank you for sharing your wisdom tonight and supporting Thank you guys all for attending for contributing to the dialogue Thank you guys for the super chats. Um any of you guys who bought your ticket to The hundred event that is going to be let me get that queued up Yeah, there we go June 24 for Atlanta, Georgia If you're watching this on a big screen, you can just scan that to buy your ticket If not go to the about page and click Excuse me Click on the link to purchase your ticket. Um, I'll be there in person. Courtney. Michelle would be there in person Mr. Nathan daily will be there in person and some other people as well. So please Pull up pull up once you buy your ticket the will be sending out the location Shortly after So it's only going to be or only the people who bought their ticket will have access to Where this low where this event is going to take place. So it's not something you could buy tickets at the door I don't know if I've said that before but yeah, you have to buy your tickets in advance So please get that done for me If you haven't already and shout out to all the people who have already Um Yeah, so tomorrow we'll be here same time talking to mr. Kirk Anderson About black health Tuesday I'll be dropping episode 130 of the kevin samuel started this conversation series And after that, I probably won't drop as much anymore YouTube YouTube is frustrating, but you know, I have to get my life together. So I'll I'll be Diverting my attention elsewhere, but you know, I'll still be putting out passion projects periodically But this experiment of being a full-time youtuber has come to an end But again, I appreciate all of you guys for your support. I appreciate all of you guys for Helping the channel get as far as it has Um, but yeah, this isn't you know me quitting. This is just me pivoting a little bit But uh, yeah shout out to you all. Um Push that like button if you haven't already it says we have 120 likes um at one point. I think we had a 140 Viewer so if you haven't pushed the like button, please push the like button Go watch some random shit on the channel push the like button. It helps out a lot because youtube does not help So yeah, uh, thank you guys again Have a good evening. Have a good weekend And peace