 And now that they also can go out and work and earn the money, so why do they need you actually? Or for what use are you? My name is Tarun, I'm 34, I'm from Delhi. Fortunately very much settled professionally in my career, but not settled in personally. I'm married in 80 years, I have a daughter of 4 years at old. The problem is me and my wife both are working, both are having ego clashes. We don't understand each other. The problem is on the heat of fight, I lose my patience and I'm in anger, I'm very much in anger. Even she said that she wanted to be a live apart. I know my mistakes, I wanted to change myself, but she's not realizing what needs to be changed from her side as well. Indian society has not as yet geared itself to the single family, you know single unit family. It's a society of joint families where all these energies were sort of caught in the net of the family and evened out. Society doesn't know actually how to live in this imported style. So that learning process can be very painful and very hard when both the parents are working and earning well so that they can buy all the things which they don't need. And work for those people who are anyway not bothered about them. The result is that they stop to care for each other. They don't have time to do that and often it is in the area of sexuality. And when it's in the area of sexuality and when there is not enough of sexual exchange, there's also a lot of anger. So that's something to address. On the one hand, you do have to start living more from the truth. And she as well. But there is also a certain reality about the whole sexuality. Because if there is no sexuality in a relationship, generally there will be a lot of anger. And especially from the women, more from the women than from the men. So the one hand to look at that whole aspect of sexuality between you and your wife. And on the other hand to look at yourself and try to quiet yourself down by actually trying to feel your Atman, you know, go there. Try to feel that. When your week goes, you get up in the morning, you go to work, you come back in the evening. You have half an hour with your child, then there's dinner and there's bedtime. So then there's no time for each other. You know in earlier times, 50 years ago, 100 years ago, people had very extreme sexual relationships because they didn't have all the other entertainment. That was the entertainment. And so there was less anger. And now the anger grows as the sexual exchange reduces. So that's one side of it. And the other side is, do you want to take up a sadhana or a practice? As you mentioned about the sexuality between us, I mean, even I was the person who was always ready and always forward for doing all these things. I mean, just hugging her or to be close with her so that, I mean, the normal day-to-day routine should not be like that. Wake up and do the office work, do the breakfast and just ready the daughter and just send to the school. But she just need to follow normal routine. Yes, it is sometimes a difficult balance, you know, because women, women, not all, but they like to be around men who are strong decision makers. Females in general don't want to make decisions, but they push their way through because they're not transformed. They haven't understood how to deal with men and they push their way through. And if the man gives in, then they attack. That's the pattern. It's not easy to be a man in today's day and age. It's quite a challenge. But if you start to do this sadhana, this practice, at least 10 times a day, you try to pull yourself to this moment and try to feel You have to ask that question and try to act from that. And what that does is it just makes you stronger and tougher to handle a very tough woman because generally in the Indian subcontinent women have been very tough. They've run the whole story from the back, you know. And now that they also can go out and work and earn the money, so why do they need you actually? Of what use are you? You have to make yourself useful in the sense that he's putting his head in his legs. You have to make a very clear presence as a man because increasingly men are They are becoming redundant for women unless they are very tough and they take over the decision-making challenges because women in general don't like to make decisions. They have problems making decisions. They're not meant to make decisions. They have to offer the male the chance to decide. They decide anyway what they want, but they have to hear it from him. So it's a dance, it's a lila, and if you are in tune with yourself, then you know where to be tough and where not to be tough. A woman will treat a man like that because he's not tough enough. He doesn't keep her in line. And this is not a sexist thing I'm saying here. It's very creative and positive. Tell me what use is a man if he's not able to take decisions, if he's not tough and if he doesn't draw a line. You don't have to hit and shout and things like that. You just have to be centered. But are you centered? No. Why are you not centered? What do you do in terms of your spiritual practices? Nothing. A little bit of meditation on Sundays. If you are tough and centered, then she will back off, which is what she has to do now. What do you do for dharma? You go to the temple once a month, right? Once a week. Once a week. Oh. And you do an arthi and come home. Not even that, probably. A little bit of quick namaskar and then go. How much dakshina dhan do you make every month out of your salary? My mom told me to put at least 5% or 10% of salary in one of the box, which is near to my… But you don't do that? Yeah. I used to forget every time. In the past, in the Indian subcontinent, when there was that strength in the population, it was because they… income was divided into five parts. One part was for dharma, which was the temples and the gurus. One part was for the children. One part was for the parents. One part was for daily life and one part was for savings. How many people give anything for dharma? How do you expect to get strength to live if you don't invest in the dharma? That is something you have to do. You have to do your spiritual practices. You do your spiritual practices. You don't do anything. And then you don't want everything to happen. Dharma, dhan, dakshina, seva, sadhana. Will you do it? Or you want to earn some more money than before? Tell me. I can do that. You'll see how things change if you take it up. It's a decision to live life like that. What are you going to teach your daughter to be a slave of the corporations? What dharma are you teaching your daughter? Nothing. You understand what I am saying? There are millions of men and women like you who have lost all connection with what it means to live with some degree of equanimity and some peace. They are all fighting, you are not the only one. Every house in your building they are fighting and they are separating and divorcing and the children are somewhere and mother is here and the father is here. If you take up dharma, if you take up dhan, dakshina, if you take up seva, you take up sadhana, these are the fundamental pillars of Bharat Varsh. That's what it's about because there's no religion that is telling you you'll go to hell if you don't pray on Sundays. Nobody tells you anything, you have to figure it out. Yes or no? Yes. Where is your kula guru? What is that? I don't know what a kula guru is, you don't know. Who is your kula devta? I'll have to ask my grandmother. Your kula devta is McDonald's now. Ronald McDonald, that is also part of life. I'm not saying that's a bad thing and it's evil. It's also part of, but it's not the kula devta. This sub-continent, this Bharat Varsh has to wake up. You'll have to start living at least 10% of a dharmic life. That is why you have all these problems and there is no resolution. She will separate, you will separate. That child will grow up without the parents. That child will be traumatized like so many of the westerners sitting here, to whom it happened in the last generation. They're traumatized, they grew up without the father or without the mother and there were fights and this is not something known in this place. This is not only you. I'm speaking to that whole generation in this sub-continent and also around the world. There's no family to push you together after a while. Everyone is like, I want to buy a fridge right now. I want to buy a car, I don't have time. They will solve the problem themselves. That's what everyone says. So take up the seva, take up the sadhana. Take it up, do it. Find the time to do it. Don't use the time to be on Netflix. Netflix is making you miserable and slowly what will happen is that she will start to respect you. This is the rules of the house. We do this sadhana, we do this seva, we do... What are we teaching our daughter? Does she know anything about dharma? Maybe she reads an Amarjitra Katha once in a month and she knows everything about western history and about how to multiply 20,000 times 30,000 when she's three months old. That she knows but it's of no use. It doesn't give a sense of solidity to life and a sense of meaning. That is what dharma is. Dharma gives a sense of meaning. Upholding the dharma. Everyone can do it. It's a non-religious thing. Whatever your religion is, doesn't really matter. You probably don't have one. You're a Hindu. So then you don't have a religion. Take that up. It's like a new life will unfold for you. Try to practice. Make a dahan, make a dakshina. When you give energy into something you will get it back, otherwise you won't. How? Do seva whenever you can do something. Keep your working hours minimal. Keep your hours of sadhana more. That's how you bring peace into your family. Your wife will start to respect you. You can go and talk to any guru in the world. They will not be able to say anything else. That's what they'll say. Or I mean I can tell you take this coin and keep it with you. You're the third person I've given it to. I have six hundred of them. Keep it with you and remember now you have got something but you also have to start giving. Otherwise you won't get anything. You just be miserable. The same story goes on. It just goes on. You are supposed to uphold the dharma. What are you doing for that? Nothing. That's why you're miserable. And then you will go to a psychologist and they'll give you some tablets and then you'll feel all happy for two days after that, even worse. It all doesn't work. What works is taking up that self-realization process and living with it. That is what the dharma life is.