 Shout out to Squarespace for sponsoring today's video. We're about to do some Halo 3, one of my most favorite FPS of all time. Probably my favorite one. It's so good, you guys. Halo 3 is so good and it's on PC and I'm gonna be playing it with the whimsy shrimp crew. So is everybody ready then? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I'm ready. This opening, my god. Oh, it's so cool. Dude, that's so good. Shut up, Joseph. Shut up, Jay. Shut up, Joseph. Shut up, Alec. Shut up, Zach. Shut up. Like the others, you were strong and swift and brave, a natural leader. You also were the only one who knew how to paint toenails, right? This game still looks good. Like the character models are a little crunchy, but like... Yeah, you're not. Literally, your heart was stopped. I don't mean to be the bearer of bad things. I have two hearts. Where's Cortana? Don't make a girl a promise. If you know you can't keep it. She became a plot device. That's rough, buddy. Got enough to worry about without you two trying to kill each other. Worry, dick. That's all of Halo. It might not have an incredible story, but it's got a bunch of one-liners. Give me that. So here we have... I'm Master Chief since I'm Player One. Player Two is the Barbiter. And so we've essentially got Mario Luigi and the two random toads that nobody cares about. Come on. You do... Oh, fuck. Beam rifle, best sniper. I'm sorry, it's Cuban rifle. You suck. Well, if you guys want battle rifles, all you gotta do is find my body and you'll get them. Oh yeah, we can just kill you for infinite ammo. Oh. There's no proof on that. As far as I know. Except the little casualties. Oh, I missed. Never mind. You're trying to stick that marine there, weren't you? No, I was trying to stick the brute that was holding him. He just so happened to be there at the moment. Fuck! Ow. Snipers work. Yeah, remember those jackal snipers? Alec, don't hit the tag, Alec. Nope. No. How about... Oh, Joseph, you died here. There it is. Okay. I made a few mistakes. I need more ammo, Joseph. All right, all right. Take me, Joe, run. Feed. Charlie Foxtrot, Oscar Mike. Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. Arby in the Arby in the Arby in the Arby. My raffle cutter. It goes swash, swash, swash, swash, swash. Grenade. Snipers, watch out. Oh, yeah. This is where they show up. Hey, guys, watch out. All right, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. Follow me, follow me. The best Easter egg in this game. And there's just a family of monkeys right here. With weird human faces. I have no idea. Oh, I hate that. I, I don't know. It's one of the most mysterious and creepiest Easter eggs in this game. I don't know why they put it in, but they're just. Master Chief is an American. He is not. He was not born on earth. He's in our military. He's stealing all our jobs. You died to take bull snipers, huh? Yeah, you know what? You can let anyone else have fun. You're on my shit list, kid. I thought you said the fucking beam rifle is better. The beam rifle, best sniper. I'm sorry. It's human rifle. You suck. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. Look, see there's a beam rifle up here. In fact, I'm going to take the beam rifle too. Two? As in also? Yeah. Get over here. I've got double snipers. I'm going to dual wield sniper rifles. Come back here. No, I've got to see how they bait their trap. All right. Snowden, guys. Let's sniper man do his job. I want to kill people. I really want to kill people. Not very good at sniper. I got sniped. Why do you have two of them? Because I want to. Why did you decide picking up both? It was a good idea. Well, I don't know. There's a chance. Something minute, Lee. Not good at sniping. Well, how else am I supposed to learn? All right. I'm using the bubble. All right. We're going up. Three, two, one. Bam. Chiefton. Oh, fuck. OK. We guys, you can play the game. Hey, Chiefton's here. Hello. Ow. Hey, guys. Good news. I'm now the Chiefton. Me. Come on, you grunky piece of shit. Stop running. Look at him run. Oh, you did. Wow, the disrespect. Didn't even give him the head of the hammer. No. Ah, fuck. He doesn't deserve it. They have guns. Yeah, I know. Right. Whoa. You guys, I found a skull. Puch. What team should root for? You know, home team. Ah, dude, I understand that one. God, me and home team go way back. Oh, I love local sports team. It was cool. I liked it when they threw ball. I'm dead. Big fan of defense. Who put that bubble shield there? I'm clicking fast. No, no, nobody. I died. Oh, man, you should have stood in the bubble shield. Yeah. I hate you. Oh, the bubble shield's gone. Oh, OK. I'm good here. Good kill, Joseph. Jay and I died in the war. No, we were just in the cockpit. Say hi to our pilot buddies. You said pit. Oh, man. It's like that scene from Star Wars where they're landing in Endor. The hole. You can't eat a hole. A hole is an empty space. Consume holes. Oh, God. Oh, Lord Hood. He looks more clay-like than the other game. Yeah. Featuring in Wallace and Gromit. I only have a handful of ships. It looks chewy. Yeah, he looks greasy. Yeah, he looks like chewed bubblegum stuck to the underside of the desk. There we go. I like his... Watch his JPEG chair. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And then he's on your chair. That's fucking crispy. Update your green screens, graphics driver. Jesus Christ. He is sitting in front of a green screen. That's exactly what he's doing. It had the bandicam thing. Like the bandicam thing was just sort of like dropped out, you know? Unregistered hypercam 2. Yeah, hypercam 3. Oh, I like this. I like this. Where should they go? What's our rally point? To war. That's not a rally point, you bitch! All right, man. We still need to go somewhere, ma'am. Jay, what we currently look like. You're at your grandparents as a kid and you're in the kitchen eating something at midnight and someone turns on the light. This is what we look like. We are currently in like prime, like gremlins stance. Oh, this is absolutely gremlins stance. Like, this is the stance that I do. Like, when I'm walking past shows room, he has a door open and he looks out and I just sort of squat down to gremlins stance, you know? You hit the stance. Yeah, you hit the stance and then it becomes a stare off. I require Jenner! Me looking for cheese at 2 a.m. Hey, where's the scope? Oh, boy. A warthog. I hope it doesn't... Oh. That's good. Yeah. Sorry, Jay. I shot and killed you. You were in front of me. He is her. Oh, wait. Shit. Come back here, you demoralized pricks. Get in there, Joseph. Woo! Yeah, you're my favorite boy. What are you doing? Huh? I'm recon? Hey, why is everyone in here now? I have to go hide somewhere else. Hold on. Here. Now we have two. Double the protection. This is better. This is better. Yeah, we saved one marine. Hooray. Our stomachs are... Oh, God. Oh, yeah. We're marked as traitors now. Because we killed so many marines. Wow. I guess we'll just have to kill all the marines. Oh, no. We just keep progressing. We just keep progressing. Wow, they deal a lot of damage. Get him, boys. Oh, God. Ow. I'm leaving. Never mind. Ooh, also, once you guys are done, I need you guys to help me with something. Something really, really cool that I only recently discovered. Hey, you wash your hands. Don't you touch that stuff before you understand. Hey, you... You soak your stamps. Gotta grow them up like you're the king of thems. Do you put them down? Yeah. Hey, you stroke your post. You gotta caress them all or give your thumbs the jokes. All right, that's it. Where is he? Yeah. It's a wrap about washing your hands. Yeah, I'll make a wrap about you dying here in a week. Come here, Joseph. You alternated me. I tried to stick a brute and it ended up landing next to you. Are we all dead? Jay, you're not dead, are you? Oh, my God. You're not dead. Okay. All right. So Jay killed me. I killed Joe. And I killed Alec. Okay. All right. All right. Now that we're done, all right. You guys see this box, right? See this box right here? I'm going to need you guys to be really patient with me. And we're going to punch it over and over for about two minutes. Okay. So punch this box. Okay. It's one big box. Can we shoot it? Okay. Just keep punching the box, right? Does it break into multiple boxes? Yes, it does. 13 years and I never knew this. If you punch the box enough, it breaks into four little boxes. Yeah, it's because it's a giant storage container. Yeah, but I didn't know it did that. I'm really proud of how excited you are, I guess. Yeah, it's so cool. Yeah. Can I get them tiny box? Yeah, I know, man. Yeah. Incredible. I have to scope. May I lay them because they're in the air. So get them. What are you? Are you a cheerleader now? Yeah. Zach, I do. I need a cheer if you're a lead cheerleader. Two, four, six, eight. Never mind. He's dead. Yeah. So we're just going to nuke the fucking place. Yeah. And it's a clap on clap off. So we need you here once we're done arming it. That's good. Yeah, to make sure nobody claps it off. I know how to get rid of that. Haha. All right. Here, I know how to get rid of this bubble shield. Yeah. Go away, bubble shield. Shit. He's invincible. That's just not fair. No. Gank. Does he know that that's not allowed? Go, go, Patrick. I would assume he doesn't or else he wouldn't do it. Oh, sticky bounce off of him. That's good. All right. That's two people dead. All right. Wrenching. Rod, you're the only one left. You're so sweaty. Where'd it go? He stopped moving. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Jay said. All right. Yep. Nope. Well, then. Cool. Must be close. Take that. They must be close. Who's someone already? Because we're all bucking guns. Boom. I just saw everyone here. But damn. He went in there. I'm dead. Should not have come here. Oh, hammer. I picked it up and died. Got who? OK. Well, then. I did it. OK. I did the double grab lift maneuver. Now it's a trap waiting to spring. Whoever gets on that will be stuck forever. Oh, God. He's right. Now we just wait for the brutes to come here. Bad news. The trap doesn't work anymore. That would be the worst if you wrote. Hey, Cortana. How's it going? Oh, dude, guys, it's the best piece of equipment, the radar jammer. I guess the flare is wildly more useful. Let's talk about who a flare is for, like, 30 seconds. Oh, my God, the flare. Even more useful, am I right? Chad. Look, there it is. The flare. How great. You guys want to see something? Yeah, demonstrate how good the flare is for us. Wow. OK. I got a gun. Very good, Alec. So big. I'm going to shoot the bad guys. Yes, you are. You're going to shoot them so hard. I'm going to kill all the bad guys. Is that a machine gun? Once we're used to the top of this, I'm going to go rage mode. I'm going to see something. Oh, my rage is gone. Who amped him? I don't want to go to this. Can we not? I feel so bad. I actually think I felt my face immediately get red. Wait, what's up? What happened? I accidentally might have said almost a slur. When he was naming. Oh, whoops. Yeah, he's right. He's like, oh, shit. He's the most racist. Listen, the only hard R I care about are the Poggers in the chat. Am I right? Where are all the Poggers? All right. Where the fuck is Joseph first? Poggers to end racism. Yeah, I mean, I don't see why they can't keep it. Turret buddies. Everybody grab a turret. Oh, fuck. Yeah, strategy. Yeah. It's like the it's like the turrets dried. There's a chieftain. Focus fire. Oh, God. Yeah. Turret squad. All right. Say no to drugs and okay, let's go. Grab a turret. Let's get going. Stop with the lights. No Swaratu. Women's equal for eight digital women. What an asshole. Who put that mind there? No, what? Joseph, come here. No. Come here. No. All right. I'm taking the elevator without you. Bye, guys. Okay. I understand. Oh, no, you're here. Okay. Hey, what's up? Hey, let's see. I would never leave you guys behind. I'm loving this elevator right in front of my friend. Oh, my God. There's checkpoint. Right. Right. Right. Nope. Okay. So do we want to split it up one one one? Yeah. All right. Cool. I'll try Joseph. Yeah. Let's go. Oh, God. Stop trying to run over the Marine. He's so fragile. All right. You guys say hello once again to hold on. We're not out yet. Africa. Dude, Turret can't headshot. Whoa. I swear. Yeah. Marine's dead. That's fine. Nothing about you was lost. Wait. I know what to do. You broke my dreams. In Christ. Well, I'm not the one to be a rifle. So big triangle. Jesus Christ. Alex, did you talk to me too? I saw two of them. Oh, I got it. Nailed it. That's for the beam rifle shot, by the way. That's fair. Gang squad. Oh, well, I fell. Ha ha. You lose a grenade and you killed Jay. Oh, no. No, I'm sorry. I'm very alive. Sorry. All you elites look the same. All right. That's it. Gang squad. Okay. Gang squad. Gang squad. All right. Yeah. Hey, did that Marine walk into the mine? I got it. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty sure he walked into it. Yeah. All right. That's what happened. Come here, Joseph. I'm killing you first. No, what'd I do? We got to recreate history. No, no, it's fine. No, no, you said something about elites. That was pretty racist. No, it's fine. No, I'm good. Don't follow me. I'll kill you. Well, I'm coming up here because there's shit. God. I told you not to come up here or else I'll kill you. Your honor, he jumped in front of my bullet. I said I'm going to shoot. Jay, I'm going to need you to throw one of these tripmines in a place of your choice where there are no enemies. We're going to set up, right? Okay. All right. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. All right. A weapon to surpass metal gear. Fuck. Choking on Peter. Is that what he was going to say? Don't. Oh, hey, flair. I'm dead. Oh, my god. Can we have ASMR? Once I read one million subscribers. How about that? Beach's part? Yeah. And they, they, oh my god. Good ram, Jay. Thank you. There's two like phased and fixed and all that to Halo 3. Zach, why? Jay can't drive. I refuse. I refuse to get an award. Can we have Jay? No! I'm not fucking around. Wait, I want it. No. Take both choppers so Zach doesn't get any. No, that's unfair. Hold on. Hold on. I'm fucking running. Oh, come on, man. Look at these cool vehicles, big guy. Yeah. Hell yeah. Sorry. I tried to ram that other guy. I got rammed. I'm dead. Hand back. Oh, sorry. Now fucking Joseph, you heard it. Sorry. God, he looks like he's made out of clay. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a scrotum with a face on it. LaBao, his name was Lord Hood. They basically named him Mr. Forskin. This is the best mission, the best mission of the game. Let's go. Get up, bitches. It's gonna be so exciting. Jesus, that's a lot of boys. Hey. Come here often. You guys want to bless my reigns down in Africa? Ow. Excuse me. That don't mean to alarm you. I'm not sure how to drive this. That everyone was right. What is happening? What is happening? I need to kill this guy for his ammo. Okay. It's not a war crime if he's not alive. You know there's, if you wanted more rockets, there was an ammo crate full of rockets right here. God, I just murdered that guy. You just murdered him for nothing. A pallet of cash right next to him. I like to make those voices when I'm driving my car to work. There's the boy. Oh, there it is. I got excited, Joseph. Fun fact, the scarabs are made up of the same worms as the hunters. Surprise. Yeah. If you look at the core in the bar, all right. Cortana just makes us real angry. I don't know. So angry that Cortana is showing up in my video game. Oh, she makes me so mad. Gang squad. God, these construction workers are fucking going for it. Yay, fuck. I don't give a shit. Yeah. I think I recognize this song. Yeah. Really? Yeah, I can't play this. Damn, we're crossing the thing, right? Oh no. Truth is about to roll the biggest D4 in the world. Whoops. Well, the infection's dead. What is it? Like, that's another reason, just like an excuse to have a one-liner from chief. But like, what the fuck do you think it is, Arbiter? Oh, more brutes. Oh, sorry about that. Oh my god. No, you do that grenade and they all turn it once. Guys, I'm trying to last try, but I'm so good. I'm sorry. I ate the last popsicle. Oh no, Joseph's dead. She got him. She got him. Hey, it's elites. Fucking. Well, he's dead. That's good. Slice. Why? I was, there was a thing behind you. I was trying to kill it. I'm so sorry. I'll stand on your shit and wait for you, bud. Oh, sorry. I was trying to hit the flood. Man, these swords really do look dangerous, don't they? We're more dangerous to ourselves than these guys are. We've literally been killing each other more than them. Oh, hell yeah, sword time. Sword time's over. Search for Cortana. Courtney. It's, we're looking for Courtney. It looks like Courtney. Oh god, here we go. Oh my god. Oh yeah, Spartans can't get infected, can they? Yeah, because there's et in suits, but if they ever do, you're supposed to nuke the entire area because they literally cannot. Oh yeah. If they do. They're like unstoppable. Also, they're really scary when they go, ow-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo. I'm sorry, did you flood? Yeah, flood Spartans, they go, ow-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo. That's how they sound today, little four. I swear. I'm not evil. No way. How many V-bucks do you think I can get for this? I'm super not evil, Reclaimer. You just sound like a, uh, Galactic Ranger. That's not a Galactic Ranger. This is a Galactic Ranger. That's it, there we go. Here, Sark, you can have my gun. The tyrannons are here. We're all gonna die. God damn it, now I want to play reaction plank. Did you see her condition? How damaged she is? God, you're just made of testicle. Yeah. I can't look at her. It's like off-rapped. Don't touch my face, it'll fall off. Slowly, like pudding. Staggered line, chipmaster. They outnumber us, three to one. And it is an even fight. No, it's not. Well, four, like, 10 people just died. 10 people just died. Now the fight is even more even. Add time. Oh, hey Joseph, uh, what, what, what you doing? Gah, goblin, stay back, beast! No, hold on, hold on, friend goblin, friend goblin! Oh, sorry, I was just rehearsing my role to be a damsel in distress. Ah, yeah, cool, cool, no, no, didn't fear for my life or anything, but uh, hey. Building a website? A website? What do you need a website for? Where you were mentioning earlier how we needed to start to branch out our fusion coil business now that the market for throwable explosives is going to be booming? Well, I decided to make a site for us to advertise all our extra ones lying around. Is it making a website like really complicated though? Not at all, thanks to this great service called Squarespace. Squarespace is an incredibly simple and easy to use online platform that allows you to create your own website with no coding experience required. So even though I blow up every single computer I touch, even I can make something like this home page for the Safety Plasma Orbitaly Organized Transportation Company. If starting from scratch is too hard, I can even choose from a large variety of award winning templates to work with, whether it be a map towards our base of operations for customers to find us, or a storefront to advertise all our cool new merchandise, or even a portfolio for me to show off my singing talent for this new jingle I've been writing for the company. Oh, Safety Plasma Orbitaly Organized Transportation Company, I love you so. Boo, get off the stage! Well that's not useful feedback. The best part is I don't have to download, install, or patch a single thing in order to start building the site. And Squarespace is always available to help with 24-7 customer support. Though I know we are a bit strapped for cash, so if I go to squarespace.com slash jocat, I can get 10% off my first purchase. That way we can invest more money into our Fusion Coil business. Wow, this all sounds incredibly convenient and scripted. Did you just do an ad read? You're right, it is. And I did. Wait a minute, Zach, you're supposed to be back at base keeping an eye on things. Eh, if a Jane Alec in charge, they can handle themselves. Are you sure? Hey Alec, I'm gonna, you know, throw myself to the man cannon. Yeah. Hey, you remember two, um, well, Fusion Coils, yeah? Yeah. All right, cool. Wait. They should be okay.