 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time, and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm just fine. How are you? If I felt any better, I couldn't stand it. Oh, that makes me very happy. Why? Oh, I was going to read the funnies. Oh, no, I haven't a cold or anything. I've been wondering, though, how are you getting along in school? Oh, wonderful. You can? Yes. Can you spell big words? Oh, yes. Spell at? At. That's a small word. Ask me to spell a big word like Tennessee. All right, spell Tennessee. One-a-C, two-a-C, three-a-C, four-a-C, five-a-C, six-a-C, seven-a-C, eight-a-C, nine-a-C, Tennessee. That's just wonderful. Now, will you please read me the funnies? Puck the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the first page, Hop along Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hop along. The cavalry taking Black John back to Denver to be tried for his crimes were attacked by Indians. They hold in at a cabin at a stage stop. Hoppy, it slipped away for reinforcements, and today arrives with a large body of horsemen. They rain up beside the smoking cabinet and look at the dead bodies of the soldiers and the few Indians. Remaining there, the marshal says, Well, looks like we got here too late. Hoppy exclaims, I don't believe it. I won't believe it. Lucky, California. Major Haynes, where are you? A scout walks up and says, Sue, judging by the dead, and she wiped out the defenders and then made off with their horses. Hoppy answers, Well, if that's true, I've just lost two of the best friends a man ever had. Then he grits his teeth firmly and says, I'll never rest until I've made iron claw and his renegades pay for this. The marshal answers, Well, it's going to be tough, Cassidy. Redskins leave no trail. Hoppy walks off replying. Well, their horses do. The marshal announces, We'll split into two parties and search the area. Last picture, second row, Hoppy who has reached the edge of the clearing calls. Hey, look, Marshal, fresh tracks. Yeah, seemed to cross that ridge toward Tumbleweed Creek. Careful, men. Remember, I'm engines are armed with smuggled guns. The search takes them along the river. First picture, bottom row. Suddenly, the marshal holds up his hand. The men stop. The marshal says, Hey, wait. Someone's in the water behind that brush. But Hoppy doesn't wait. He leaps him his horse and dives into the river. And last picture comes up with his arms around two men, Lucky and California. Lucky exclaims, Hey, Hoppy, we hit out thinking we heard the engines coming back. Are we glad to see you. California spurts water like a whale. And as Hoppy smiles, he says, Yeah, you're darn shooting. I couldn't hear my breath from another second. Safe. I just felt sure that they couldn't have been healed by the Indians. They're too smart. Yes. And we'll find out next week whether Hoppy and the marshal and the other men continue in their search for the engines and vengeance. Well, I hope... We'll find out next week. Now? Well, I know it. Turn over the page. Well, you seem to be so sure of yourself we won't waste a second. Right. And you're absolutely right. And Val is home now safe with his family and he's found a little prince that has grown awfully big and that he has two new baby twins and my goodness, was he surprised? Yes. And now let's look in on this happy family again. Yes, I'm anxious to see those twin babies. All right, here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Heck at break, at Grey Malkin and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Val had quite a scare when little Prince Arne in his helmet and sword and shield wandered off and was lost and nearly attacked by a wolf. But Val saved Arne and had brought him home safely. And today Val, Alita and their servants and children are sitting on the lawn in the sun enjoying the quiet of home life. One last picture top row, there's a shot. Val looks up and sees coming from the coast, Arne. No longer is he the clumsy boy playing at being a night hero, but a keen young lad of great ability and with him comes Gaharis, Sir Gawain's brother. Gaharis has come to discuss the terms of peaceful trade with King Agua, Val's father. And long hours they spend with King Agua. Until at last, first picture, second row, they arrive in an agreement for peaceful trade between Thule and Orkney. Peace and prosperity, it is hoped, will bring an end to raiding and piracy. Meanwhile, last picture, second row far out at sea, the ship of Sir Delac sails the new trade route to Thule. This is the same Sir Delac who had shared Val's ship on his return from Rome. And here too is his pretty daughter who had fallen in love with Arne. She sits on the deck listening as her lady companion reads over and over the letters Arne had sent her and at each reading, her heart beats faster. And then, farther off at sea appears another ship. It is Volta, the sea king, second picture, bottom row, surging homeward from a plundering raid. He sees the victim and his ship gives chase. In a short time, his ship overtakes the heavier bark of Sir Delac. Hey! Mahadi Northman very quickly subdue the sailors on board Sir Delac's ship. And Sir Delac and his pretty daughter become Volta's prisoner. Yes, and I think that Val will tell Volta that a new peace treaty has been signed and that this is one time he can't keep his plunder. And... Yes, I'm sure he will. Won't that be nice? Oh, it certainly will be. Well, now I think it's time for Flash Gordon. Oh, and I'm anxious to read that. Very well, let's go over to the very last page of the first section. And that's where Flash Gordon is today. And this. Yes, he was in the principal Martian city, captive of Menta, Queen of the Martians. Yes, and that night he put a helmet on his head when he was asleep and that helmet would make a slave out of Flash. Not only that, but the helmet would make Flash tell every thought he had to Menta. And she'd find out all the secrets about the earth and would be able to make war on the earth easier. But Flash woke up just into one. Well, let's read down, find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Riga-riga-doon-doons. Ask him a task. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Flash rises from his bed and with a quick left surprises the guard. And in another second Flash is on his feet. Very quickly knocks the guard out. As he kneels over the unconscious guard looking at the slave helmet which would have made him unable to refuse Queen Menta's every order, he hears behind him something. He whirls. He's stunned to see his co-pilot, Link, coming at him, wearing a slave helmet. Knowing that Link is under orders of his Martian masters, Flash against his will is forced to knock Link out. And then quickly Flash snatches a slave helmet off Link's head. Flash picture top rolls. He rips out the mechanism. By now, Dale, who has heard the struggle has joined them. She quickly brings Link too. Link asks in the days, hey, what happened? I dreamed it was a slave of Queen Menta. Flash answers tensely as he rips out the mechanism of the guard's helmet. You were. That's over now. Come on. We got work to do. Wearing slave helmets from which the mechanism has been removed, the earth people secure weapons by pretending to be acting under orders from Queen Menta. And then once they have the weapons, they put the helmets on their heads and gain inference first picture bottom row to the Queen's quarters. The Queen whirls around in surprise. Flash tells Menta, you see, slave helmets have no effect on earthmen. You're our prisoner. Following through on his bold ruse, Flash with Queen Menta under guard commandeers a sand card. The guards fooled by the slave helmets are completely unaware that they could be a captive of the earth people. And last picture, the sand car roars across the Martian desert, headed for the rocket port and escaped. Let's hope it works out that way. We'll find out if it does next week. And we won't waste a second. Here we go with Dagwood and Blondie. Ramaphoo, Ramapham, Zim, Zim, Zombie, Conjury Music for Dagwood and Blondie. Dagwood home for the day says to Blondie Blondie, I'm in just the mood for one of your wonderful upside down pineapple cakes. Blondie tells him she'd baked the cake, but there's not an egg in the house. Oh, don't worry. I'll go next door and borrow one from the Woodleys. And over to the Woodleys he goes. Woodley opens the door. Last picture top row, Dagwood says, Say, Herb, may I borrow? Why, Dagwood, you're just the man I want to see. Come on in. Herb whisked Dagwood inside the house and pushes a cabinet onto him. And Herb says first picture next row. My wife's having a furniture moving spree and I need help. Dagwood moves the cabinet from the dining room to the living room and a chair from the living room to the dining room. And this continues until all the furniture has been moved around. Last picture, second row, Herb says, Ah, thanks Dagwood, you're a pal. Here's your egg. Now don't forget to return it. And out the door, Dagwood goes, all worn out. First picture third row, Dagwood comes to the house carrying his egg. Blondie tells him that the eggman came while he was next door and now she has all the eggs she needs. Dagwood says sourly, Well, I'll return his egg. I don't want to be obligated to that guy. And back to Herb's house he goes. Herb opens the door and Dagwood says, Here's your egg. Herb jerks him in. Ah, thanks Dagwood. Come in. I need you again. And Herb pushes the piano over onto Dagwood. Hey! And he says, last picture third row. But she decided she liked the furniture the way it was. Now we'll have to move it all back. And the moving begins all over again. Finally everything is back in place. And Dagwood goes home once more. He comes in the house first picture bottom row, slams the door. The house nearly falls down and he screeches, I never was so mad. Blondie dashes into the kitchen opens the oven door, pulls out the cake and tells Dagwood he ruined the cake by slamming the door. Dagwood claps his hand to his forehead, goes into the living room and drops on the sofa exhausted. Last picture Blondie stands over him and says, how can you be so tired today? All you did was borrow one little egg. Yes, if she only knew. Sofas are heavy. Yes, so are pianos. Yes. Now look underneath Dagwood and Blondie, there's Roy Rogers. Oh, will you please read that? Very well, I'll read that in just a minute. But first here's that nice man with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the bottom of the first page of the second section Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. The cattleman's consul and his leader Norton have run a man named Blot Kramer out of the country and taken over his ranch claiming that he's a cattle rustler. Riding to the end of Kramer's ranch to investigate this Roy and Jack Spratt, the deputy sheriff found a grub shack. They dismounted and walked toward it. Suddenly the ground gave way beneath their feet. Hey, look out! Look out, Jack! They tumble to a room underground. Jack looks around and says, Hey, looks like a mine, Roy. Never heard of nothing like this in Blot Kramer's land before. Suddenly Roy exclaims, Listen, gunshots. There must be Norton and Carp Mallory shooting at somebody. Meanwhile outside the mine Blot Kramer comes out of the shack running and firing his gun at Norton and Mallory who have written up. Mallory shouts third picture. Hey, watch out, Norton. It's Blot Kramer and that desert rat getup making for the mine shaft. Norton replies, Yeah, looks like Rogers and Spratt are down there. These are their horses. Kramer fires another shot at Norton and then jumps down into the mine shaft himself. Roy grabs him as he comes down, last picture top row. Kramer says, Hey, let go. I'm on your side. Jack Spratt, who was light of the lantern, holds it up first picture bottom row and exclaims, Hey, look, a trigger finger mission, jumping catfish. You're Blot Kramer. Yes, that's right, gents. I disguised myself so I could come back to Brimstone and square accounts with Norton and his cattleman's consul for running me out. At that moment, Norton and Mallory who have written up to the shack are getting out a box of dynamite. Norton is saying, Hurry it up, comp. By now, Kramer will be telling Rogers and Spratt how we've framed him for rustling and ran him out of town. Yeah, we better shut them all up so they can't talk about this rich vein of zinc on Kramer's ranch. Quickly, they set the dynamite above the shaft. As Norton lights a match saying, I hate to cave in the shaft, but we've got to eliminate the three men who stand on our way of owning the mine. Yeah, well, we can always dig a new hole. All right, let her blow, Norton. The fuse is lighted. Norton and Mallory run for the horses and then suddenly behind them looks that way from here. Well, just think, Ruff. Yes, and Blot Kramer was innocent after all. You know? It felt pretty much the same way myself. I wonder what happened after the explosion. Well, we'll find out next week. And let's hope the Earth protected them from that explosion so they'll be all right. I can highly wait to find out. And here's something else I bet you can't wait for. Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland. Oh, herbie, herbie, herbie. All right, over the page we go. Past Jungle Jim, past Perry Mason and the Lone Ranger to page four. And there she is, Alice in Wonderland. Say the magic words with me. And now for a story that gets curiouser and curiouser. Alice in Wonderland. So music, sir, music, sir. Alice is at the Mad Tea Party given by the Mad Hatter in the March Air. It's a very, very young birthday. Too much, too much. She's been having a wonderful time at the Unbirthday Party. And then suddenly the little white rabbit rushes into the garden with his huge watch saying, Hello, goodbye. I'm late. The Mad Hatter grabs the chain of his watch as he goes by and stops him. He says, But do what are you late? This watch is exactly two days slow. The Mad Hatter decides the watch ought to be inspected to find out why it is two days late. When suddenly third picture, the March Air steps up saying, Mad Watch. And hits the watch and blow with a mullet. Completely smashing it. Last picture top row, the white rabbit says sorrowfully as he looks at his smashed watch. That watch was in Unbirthday present. Whereupon the Mad Hatter and the Mad Hatter say, Well then, a very, very young birthday to you. A very, very young birthday. Too much, too much. The white rabbit looks at them sadly. Then turns and scampers from the garden. Alice dashes after him first picture bottom row calling, Mr. Rabbit. But once more, the white rabbit disappears. And Alice finds herself at the edge of a gloomy forest. She stops and she looks around and says, That rabbit, I've had enough nonsense. I'm going straight home. And then she looks up and exclaims, But which way are you? And she sees a sign which points toward a little path and the sign reads, Tolgy Wood. Alice goes down the path, last picture saying, It's getting red for the dog. And Alice plunges blindly into the depths of Tolgy Wood. Lost. Lost in Wonderland. Watch was smashed. I don't think that was nice of the March Hare. Neither do I. They certainly are there mad and the white rabbit says, And that doesn't make me glad. No. Well, I hope if Alice gets, gets home next week. Yes, I hope she does too. But I still have a way I don't hope so either because these adventures are too exciting. Well, next week we'll find out. Now? Now must be time for Dick's adventures. It is indeed. So let's go over to the very last page. And here we are with Dick's adventures. And remember last week, Dick had succeeded in escaping from the pirates. Yes, they stole a boat and headed out to sea, hoping to get aboard their ship with Commander Stephen Decatur. I wonder if they'll get there before they get captured again because the pirates are after them. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rigidipakazakazik. That's the music for Venturist Dick. In the early days of America, the year 1803, Dick, with the American Navy, which has been sent to stop the pirates from plundering their ships, has been captured and escaped from the clutches of the Bashaw of Tripoli. Dick and his party of exhausted Marines succeed in rejoining the American fleet blockading the pirate port. Quickly, the little boat draws alongside Decatur's catching trepid. Dick and his friends are hauled on board. And last picture top roll, Dick is taken to the captain of the ship, commanded by young Lieutenant Stephen Decatur, who listens quietly to Dick's story. When Dick's story is finished, Decatur and he go back on Dick. First picture, next roll. Decatur looks toward shore, then says to Dick, you men need rest. You'll find another American ship about 10 miles back. Dick respectfully inquires the destination of Decatur's ship. Decatur answers, we're going back into the harbor of Tripoli to blow up the Philadelphia, which the Bashaw captured from us. You're welcome to come along, but I don't advise it. And then Decatur walks off. Dick's companions, who had escaped with him, quickly gather round to find out what Decatur has told him. There's a hurried consultation. Then, last picture, second roll, Dick walks toward Decatur and tells him, oh, sir, I just had a conference with the rest of the men, and we've unanimously decided to go against your advice. Decatur smiles at the courage of the men, and nods his head. And it's decided that Dick and his friends are to stick with Decatur in the surprise he's concocting for the pirates. That night, first picture, bottom roll, under cover of darkness, the intrepid approaches the harbor, showing no flag, with a fighting men and a cargo of destruction concealed. Through the gathering darkness, Dick makes out the captured Philadelphia, lying off the port bow. All is in readiness for attack. But misfortune strikes first. Suddenly, last picture, a gale of fierce intensity sweeps down on the harbor. Firstly, though the men fight it, the intrepid is swept out to sea, and their opportunity of surprising the pirates is ruined. But at the moment, a more important struggle is at hand. A struggle for their life. Yes, and now they're out to sea fighting a terrific gale. And that's a very small boat there on, too, against a heavy gale there in real danger. Well, I only win. Well, we'll find that out next week, and we'll know for sure whether they're saved next week, too. But now look here underneath Dick's adventures. Oh, here's to it because the detectives fooled him. They started the ferris wheel, and it jiggled so he couldn't aim his gun. That's right, and Mr. Crumb of grassy acres is a very unhappy man because his horse lost the race, and his men didn't take care of things this time. Well, I hope now because he deserves it. He's been a cheater and a crook all along. Well, we'll find out right now. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run until the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Tex and Mr. Miles leave the stand just after snowflake has won the race. Tex says, There goes Crumb, boss. Straight for the ferris wheel. Follow me. We can go around back to the shooting gallery and hear without being seen. The ferris wheel is still going around. The two detectives have stepped away and hidden to see what'll happen next. As the engineer stops the ferris wheel, third picture, Mr. Crumb comes up and says, So, Nick, you had everything fixed, sir? Well, for your information, that milestone horse won. Well, now listen, Mr. Crumb. I couldn't help it. Some nosy character started the ferris wheel. I couldn't hit a barn door without things spinning. Last picture top row, Crumb goes on. This is the second time you've left a job for me, Nick. I paid you to fix Catfoot Kendall's sulky and you had to make a mistake causing an accident to my own driver. Mr. Miles steps out, first picture bottom row and says, Well, Mr. Crumb, we finally see you and your true colors, huh? The association has no room for criminals like you and I'm sure they'll take care of that when I make my report. Oh, is that so? Well, it's your word against mine, Miles. And you ain't got no witnesses. We're upon Tex and the two detectives step out and Tex says, I reckon there won't be no special trouble about witnesses, Humbrink. There's me. And oh, yes, let me introduce you to Mr. Lewis and Mr. Jackson. Licensed private investigators. Well, I... Well, listen, I'll make a deal. You're in no position to make a deal, Crumb. You can resign from the association, write a full confession, clearing Catfoot Kendall and agree to pay for an operation on corny, botched, broken hip. I'll turn the matter over to the district attorney. A little later at the racetrack stable, Queenie and Tex and Rusty are gathered around Snowflake. Queenie is so happy she can hardly believe what's happened. And she asks Rusty if Snowflake really run the race. Snow Rusty answers, She sure did, but you haven't heard the half of it. And Tex says, Yep, Mr. Miles and your daddy are waiting for us out at the new farm. You're all going to live there and your daddy's going to be the manager. No, everything turned out just the way we wanted it to, didn't it? Yes, I wonder what's the next thing that's going to happen in the lives of Rusty and Tex and their family. Well, that's something we'll have to find out. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Honey and all you boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, Mr. Wheatley. Okay, that's a date, and a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with a little friend, Miss Honey, next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man.