 This really winds up the narcissist. This really irritates them. This really makes them mad. The narcissist wants to bait you into an argument. They want to pull you into their mud. They want you to fight with them. They want to make you angry. It's like everything they do is designed to hurt you. Everything they do is designed to get a reaction out of you. They feed off your reactions. It relieves their stress and tension. It makes them feel better. However you feel affects how they feel about themselves. Which is why you become their emotional punching bag. You become their emotional tampon. They use you to regulate their emotions. You might be a very calm reasonable person. Maybe you just want to resolve the situation. But the narcissist is not looking for a resolution. All they want is an emotional reaction. They want you to respond to them emotionally. So they will push and provoke you until you give them what they want. Until you give them an emotional response. And then they instantly become calm. It's like a child that is throwing a temper tantrum. Or a baby that needs to be burped or fed. As soon as you attend to them. They calm down. As soon as you give the narcissist an emotional response. It relieves their tension. And then it's almost like they have amnesia. It's like they've instantly forgotten about everything they did to provoke that emotional response from you. And now they're playing the victim. Now they're pointing the finger at you. And so you did something wrong. Now they're holding you accountable for reacting to them. When that was just the result of what they did to you. If you poke someone again and again. No matter how calm and reasonable they may be. Eventually they're going to get mad. But this is what narcissists do. And it is designed to get an emotional response out of you. It is designed to make you react to them. Because then that regulates their emotions. It relieves their stress and tension. It makes them feel better. But as George Bernard Shaw has said. Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. Never let the narcissist pull you into their muds. Because it will always end unfavorably for you. You cannot beat the narcissist in their wrestling ring. They've had years of experience. You're playing on their turf. They know the game so well. Because they've played it a thousand times already. So you're never going to win in their arena. You're never going to beat them at that game. You're just going to be left feeling distressed and annoyed. Because of the inability to change or achieve something. So instead of doing that. Stay out of their wrestling ring. Don't let them pull you into their muds. And watch how they react to your lack of participation. Because what really winds up the narcissist is when you choose to disengage. When you choose to not lower yourself to their level. Because when you fight with a narcissist. That's all you're really doing. You're allowing yourself to be pulled down. You're choosing to engage in something that is beneath you. You should not be participating in petty childish games like that. And that's why you feel so bad after you get pulled into it. But it makes the narcissist feel good. When they pulled you out of your frame. Because they already know that you don't belong in their muds. It makes them feel good. To take a person who is morally uncontaminated. And then get them dirty and messy. Because then in their minds that makes you no different to them. But when you choose to not participate in these types of interactions. When you choose to disengage. You stay clean. It's like you're just standing there. Watching them rolling in the mud. Well they're trying to throw mud at you. But it doesn't affect you. You don't get dirty. When they're trying to pull you into their mud. Imagine that you are wearing a nylon suit. So anything that they try to throw at you is just going to run right off of you. The narcissist will instantly notice this. They will realise that you are not responding to them in the way that you normally would. And it will really wind them up. It will really make them mad. Because now they can't get a reaction out of you. They can't get you to respond emotionally. Which then reflects on how they see themselves. Now instead of them seeing you coming in mud. All they see is a mirror reflection of themselves. They see themselves for what they really are. Which makes them really mad. But this is where you need to be really careful. Because when they don't get a reaction that they're looking for. They may push harder to get it. They may say some really hurtful things to you. They may become physically abusive. Withholding your emotional reactions. It's not designed to change or control the narcissist's behaviour. It will actually only make them worse. But it is designed to protect you from getting dirty. It is designed for preventing you from doing something that you might later regret. Something that they might use against you. Because all they really want is an emotional reaction. They want something that they can use to label you as the abuser. And when you don't give them what they want. They're forced to see themselves for what they really are. But they don't want to accept that they are their problem. Which is why they will push harder to get a reaction out of you. But this is something that really winds up the narcissist. When you choose to stay out of their wrestling ring. When you don't let yourself get pulled into their muds. Because it shows them that you're better than them. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Queries. You can email me at www.coaching.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.