 If you've been going after your goals and your dreams and the things you actually want to do, you for sure come up against the wall of your friends and your family thinking that it cannot be done or maybe they've even laughed at you. Well in this video, I'm going to share why you should stop giving up. Hey guys, it's Alex Hine here over at Modern Health Monk. Before we jump in and I tell you some really personal stories, I've put together a free five-day self-growth challenge. It's the first link right below this video where each day you'll get a little video on how you can improve your life. So check it out. Kind of heartbreaking, but when I was writing my first book, Master of the Day, I had a very, very interesting story and even though it's personal, I want to share it because I think many of you are probably going through the same thing. So I had spent probably six months writing the first draft of this book and I hadn't been a prior author and I had the same fears of who am I, who's going to trust me, who's going to take me seriously, what will my friends and family think? Do I even have what it takes to write a book? But I figured there's something unique that I want to share and I'm just going to try my best to share it. So after six months of the work, writing the book, another six months hiring designers and editors and all that kind of stuff to get this out, I eventually launched it on Amazon and I was very fortunate because my small audience at that size was loyal fans and that first week I had about 30 reviews on Amazon and that book hit number one in healthy living and fitness, weight loss, I think home living, something like that and I had posted this post on my personal Facebook saying that I was so happy that this book had hit number one in multiple categories on Amazon because of how many copies we'd sold in a short period of time. Now one day I was at work and at that time I was working for my mom's company. She was one of three partners in a small business and you know she saw my Facebook post and my mom candidly said did your book actually do that well and it's getting that many good reviews because it's actually good or because those people were just your fans? So imagine your mom the person who theoretically has always pushed you to go after your dreams said did this book get good reviews basically because it's all BS and made up and people were just trying to give you good reviews or because you actually wrote a great book. Ouch. That's about as personal as an insult as it can get from one of the closest people in your life short of maybe your own spouse or significant other being like nah your book sucked but at least you have people who like it and write reviews. That's a realistic look at what it might take to go after your goals and dreams and I'm sorry I'm throwing my mom under the bus here but she's probably not going to watch this damn video let's be real and in reality so many of you the people holding you back from going towards the things you want to do in life are close friends and family which is why it affects you right if it was some random banker that's like don't be a youtuber that's stupid you'd be like all right Sally you're like shut up I don't know what you I don't even know who you are who are you right but when your mom or your dad says it it makes you really question things and it makes you question yourself. When I moved to China and I bought a one-way ticket do you think my friends and family were like that's a brilliant idea Alex I want you to go after your goals and dreams become a monk and a kung fu master and go on this epic adventure of a lifetime no they didn't say that they said why the hell would you go to China it's full of communists it's dirty and it smells and you're probably going to get food poisoning every single day and no one speaks English my friends thought that I'd be abducted and put in some you know gulag in you know northern China on the border of Mongolia or that I would get lost there and no one would ever be able to get me back to the U.S. I mean the stereotypes were ridiculous but that's what people thought right they didn't support me and when I came back to the U.S. and at 29 I was going back to be a doctor of East Asian medicine they were like why don't you go to a real medical school why don't you go become a real doctor Alex they didn't care about my goals and dreams they didn't care about what I wanted to do they didn't listen to my story they said what they wanted me to do what they thought I should do why don't you become a real doctor and people will take you seriously and you'll make some real money like this is the way that people think and the reason for sharing this video and sorry for throwing my mom under the bus about my first book is because this is a realistic look at the kind of barriers and the kind of criticism that you are going to entertain when you go after your goals and dreams so the ultimate question is how do you stop giving a fuck right honestly let's say you want to become a youtuber or you want to write a book or you want to just take a trip abroad for a year in Spain or you want to walk the community Santiago or you want to do something that is other than what society and your culture and your friends and family say you should do the first reason why they envy you and why you shouldn't give it flying rats ass is because first of all people are typically envious you know when you go after a goal or dream like when you go after a job or a passion you've always wanted to do there are millions of other people that have wanted to do that but they talk themselves out of it because they were too afraid or because they listen to their parents or their society or advisors or their friends or they were too afraid to do it and they are envious of you doing it how many of you don't think that quitting my job and going to live abroad on an epic adventure to become a kung fu master and monk mystic man how many people close buddies childhood friends never had the thought that damn that would be awesome if i could quit my job and do whatever i wanted it would ever epic adventure for a year hell yeah they thought that of course they thought that so them criticizing me most of the time was probably envy the second thing is understanding they don't want what you want right a lot of the time if you are going after let's say a job you want to be really fulfilled in or you're going to do a year to go backpack Europe the people who are criticizing you sometimes are the same people in those boring nine to five finance jobs that are critiquing you because they want different things from you they may be the friend that is incredibly status conscious the friend that wants to be the md status or have the two hundred thousand dollar personal finance boring job or the finance job in new york super boring life where they work 80 hours a week to make some hedge fund manager rich and then they come home and they go get three drinks every single night by the time they're 32 they're clinically obese hypertensive and most of all unhappy they don't want to be there but they may flex those things because they're a status chaser and what you are chasing is deep fulfillment right or maybe you really do want to be successful and your friend that's the hippie backpacker is not what you want but fundamentally you'll stop caring if you're clear internally that this is a different value system and you're doing what makes you happy and they are doing what maybe or maybe not makes them happy so if you recognize that what you want is different from other people what's the compare on right you're going to have a happier more fulfilling life now the third way to stop caring what they think is to recognize that a lot of people frankly are unconscious and unhappy you know your parents may tell you get the safe secure job not because they really consciously in their heart of hearts believe that to be true but because they were a poor immigrant and they came from the south pacific or the philippines or from wherever india and life was really hard there and if you didn't have money you were on the damn street and they are wishing the best for you but maybe not in the most conscious way right because maybe there is a way as an entrepreneur you in your creative business or your artistic business or your youtuber author whatever business that you can do a living you can make a living and you can make even more than whatever profession you are going to go into making 70 000 as an accountant right and they're unconscious because they have not reevaluated those beliefs within themselves and that's why they think well if you're not a doctor lawyer or engineer you're a peasant in our family you're a nobody is that really true i mean i remember the first girlfriend idea was filipino very traditional family from the philippines and she said my parents would respect you more if you were an md making 150k then if you were a multimillionaire entrepreneur nothing wrong with that but let's be clear we're talking about status versus really values and anything substantial right these people would rather have the status of oh my son-in-law he's an md at Yale versus the entrepreneur that has all the freedom time happiness and makes 10 times what a medical doctor makes with less of the bullshit you have to be clear on if the people advising you are conscious clear beings which statistically they're probably not and if they really have your best interest at heart or if they are projecting their dreams on you which is a massive burden to bear so in my opinion if you keep these three thoughts in mind you will often understand you are on a different journey and your journey will bring you lots of happiness and fulfillment and frankly a lot of the people criticizing you or maybe just not supporting you they themselves are not happy and fulfilled so what is their life advice matter anyway just my two cents on when people don't believe in you what you should do all right guys check out the free self growth challenge below stick to your guns follow your dreams i'll catch you soon