 Welcome back to Why In The Morning, special thanks to Hilda Batifi and Joy Mishachi. And I'd like to echo what they said. If you happen to interact with any videos that you think might break the views, send them to us on our social media handles at WhiteFive4Channel on Twitter, WhiteFive4AnderschoolChannel on Instagram, and WhiteFive4 on Facebook. Hashtag is Why In The Morning and Never Ever Forget to Tell Us Where You're Watching Us From so we can give you guys a shout out. So sex is a very sensitive topic when it comes to the African setting. And it's treated with a lot of shame. And we have teenagers learning about sex in the most wrong platforms. Instead of learning it from their parents, this is why we brought a counselor with USAID who goes by the name Esther Karyuki to demystify this for us, for strength of a woman, Kiribu Sana. Thank you very much. As you said, my name is Esther Karyuki. I'm my young counselor working with USAID. I'm very passionate about Decreal in Kenya HIV-free soon by educating the young generation on matters of sex and sex like the real it and letting them know what they didn't know. The information that I've gotten from social medias, the internet, which is misleading them, that is what I'm here to clarify about. This is what you're here to clarify about. But before we talk about the topic, I'd like to go back, date back a little bit. At what point did you figure you want to work with kids and you want to make the society better by just educating them? It was at a point when I realized that you really need it with my job, day-to-day job. I encountered with so many people, so many people who are suffering due to lack of knowledge, some of them due to being misled, some of them because of myths and beliefs that we had then. And then again, and most of them who are suffering, they are ladies. Because you can see in the African way of setting the way it was set. It was seen as if it's the role of a man to protect the lady against sex. But in real sense, who needs to be protected? Is it a man or a lady? For you, what you just protect yourself again is it's HIV. What if you learn that you already have HIV? Is there a need to use a condom? So I empower girls that it's not when a man proposed that you should use a condom. You should also, you as a lady, know it is your role to protect yourself. It is your role to protect yourself as a lady. Because these are issues that you saw in the society and you said I want to address these issues. Exactly. Dating back a little bit again, what is your background in education? My social worker and psychology counselor and I have also done sex education. Yes. So you studied social sociology? Yeah. First? Yeah. And then you went to specialize in psychology. Exactly. And then sex education. Sex education. Right. And currently you're working with the USAID. Yes. Right. So these things, most of these things are done by non-profit organizations. When it comes to social work in Kenya and things like sex education and HIV prevention, most of them are done by non-profit organizations. Is it the role of the government also to play, to do some of these stuff? It's actually the role of the government, the government or organization should come in like a help. But it is the role of the government. Yes. It is the role of the government. These people just come to support. It is 100% the role of the government. So these people just come in to support. To give support. So one group or one demographic that you work with, sexual, people who have been violated, sexually, these victims. All right. Call them victim, they are clients. They're clients. If you victimize them, they feel like. I'm sorry to say, all right, I'm sorry to say. So corrections, your clients. What age to what age do they lie mostly? The topic today let's talk about teenagers and youth. Because as per the last year's HIV statistics, it turned out that 46% of youth and teenager that is from 13 years to 15 years. 46% of us are HIV positive as per the last year's HIV statistics. 46%. You see, that's quite a big number. It's a one thing number. 46% of youth and teenager, 13 to 35. 13 to 35. Yes. 46% of kids between 13 to 35 are HIV positive. Yes. So for every two, at least one. All right, how factual is this? Because we are like 12 people in studio right now and they'll all tell me they have been tested and they'll all tell me I'm good now. So people lie about these things, their status still. I would not like to say people lie because issue of HIV status to keep it open, it's your choice. It's your choice. I might decide to say I'm positive. I might decide to say I'm negative according to what I feel I should, people should know about me. Yes. All right, so it is something that you can keep private. You're allowed to keep private. You are allowed. Actually saying your status is bridging of confidentiality, I shouldn't. It's bridging of confidentiality. Exactly. What if you're getting into a relationship with someone? Now when we're getting into a relationship with someone, I always advise people together go for a test. Go for a test. Together. When you're getting into a relationship. Exactly. Go for a test. Together. Yes. All right. At least we have that. So be sure to bring in your comments, review your comments and suggestions and your questions on WhiteFive4 channel, WhiteFive4 underscore channel on Instagram and WhiteFive4 on Facebook. Hashtag is one in the morning. Don't forget to tell us where you're watching us from. All right, so you saw passionate about the culture. I was made to understand. All right, and you explained why at least you're passionate about the culture. All right, and I think you're watching with the boy child as well. Yes, well, yeah. All right, so what are some of the issues that affect in the boy? Affecting the boy. Issues affecting the boy. Yes, around this. In relation to HIV. Yes, this demographic that we're talking about. 13 to 35. One, and the main thing is lack of knowledge about sex. Like, if I were to ask you, at what point in sex does one acquire the HIV virus? Most of us believe that it's the final sexual phase which we call ejaculation. We are meant to believe that unless a man ejaculates and that fluid is in me, that is the only time I can acquire HIV and AIDS. So most of them would start having sex and protected sex until when this guy is feeling like I'm almost ejaculating and that is when they decided to use a condom. So the whole phase, the whole four phases, we have five phases in sex. So the whole four phases, they would go for unprotected sex until what we call the ejaculation. All the excitement phase, that is the final sex phase, that is when they will decide to use a condom. Yes, so what about the phases you have gone for unprotected sex? Excuse me. So lack of knowledge is one thing. And this affects both sexes. So this is something that you're trying to spread out there. Knowledge is one thing that you're spreading out there. So as you spread this knowledge, is it in school as well, is it being taught in school? How's it now? Not really. Not really, so. The only thing they know is that HIV, I was looking at their celibacy actually, and the only thing that is indicated is sex. It's transformed through blood transfusion, sex. You see, briefed about it. But they're not given the required knowledge, yes. All right, so since it's not enough in school, since not all of us can access a counselor like you that works with USAID. So we are stuck with our parents, yeah. All right, do you think parents are doing enough to teach their kids about these things? The first question is, is that parent also informed? Most of them are not. Most of them are actually, they actually need the kid to educate them because most of our parents, let's say in back days, they were not edged. They were not lucky to have learned more of HIV. And then again, you see there is more that is coming with HIV, more discovery. Like now we have the pills that can prevent you prior and before, if you have unprotected sex and you feel, yes, I should control myself, you'd go for PEP. PEP is what we call the post-exposure prophylaxis. This is a drug that you take before 72 hours when you have already had HIV. You have had unprotected sex. And we have the prep. This is the pre-exposure prophylaxis. This is a drug that you can take prior to having unprotected sex. So do you see like our parents might not be having this knowledge there? So our parents might not be having this knowledge. Exactly. All right, so since it's the role of the parent to teach the kids. So what are some of the things you're doing around educating the parents to instill the knowledge to their kids? Because you're not going to access each and every kid around this country. Okay, my first role is to stop blaming kids because we have brought our counseling to be like, who is to blame? It has already happened. We had around 2,000 kids who dropped out of school. They didn't sit for their KCPA exams due to early pregnancies. And all now we sit on tables in media houses and they will, is it parent who is not doing his work? Is it teachers who are not doing it? It has become like a blame game. It needs to stop fast. Because if at that time you know what is sex, you know on about sex. So I like dealing with you in person because after all, if you can have sex and you know what is sex, we're engaging in sex. Actually, most of them know even much that you'd think. So the issue of abstinence and blame game should come out. It's the high time we tell them the truth so that you should know the life is in your hands. Let's not blame teachers in school. Most of them don't even have enough time. They have celibacy to cover in the end of the year. So again, you want to put this burden. They're not going to play parent and play teacher. Yeah, and then the kids are too many in school. Like I can't pick one by one. Most of them are suffering from different problems. The teacher is there to cover the celibacy. Well, most of them would just get in and help. But how much can they help? They are always to cover the celibacy. Even if they would help, they would help at least 20%. So the other 80% is upon you. It's upon you as a teenager. You as a person, you as a teenager. Yes. All right, so moving on swiftly, talking about the statistics of people who were infected or affected by HIV. You're talking about 46% while other people will say, a very huge population has not been tested. So how do you get the statistics? Because so many people have not been tested. And they'll tell you, I was tested five years ago. I was tested when I went to hospital for checkup, but I had malaria. But they had to do each and every test. And that was five years ago. So many people will tell you they have not been tested. But the statistics say 46%. So how are we supposed to trust this stat? You know nowadays in any public hospital, even if you went there with a headache, it has actually become unvoluntarily like they used to say. Because like last week, I was there. I had a stomach ache somehow or sort of. But the first thing I did, I was tested for HIV. So it's no longer voluntarily. But for you to access the medical, you have to get tested first. So this is how the statistics is taken. Because you can't tell me in the span of five years you didn't at least attend the hospital once. But yeah, you are tested. But you've given your results as a person. To tell you if I'm tested or not, I told you it's very confidentiality. It's very confidential. It's very confidential. Talking about confidentiality. So confidentiality is something that you practice as a psychologist. What you talk to your client about should not leave that. Exactly. Do you get tempted sometimes to share with somebody maybe after work and just say, today I met somebody and this person has this problem. And I don't know how I'm going to help. I've never seen something like this. You see with me, if I'm with a client which I can't handle, I refer them to a higher counselor who is higher than me. But I don't have the right to share. Yeah? You don't have the right to share. I have never found myself tempted either. All right, you've never found yourself tempted either. All right, so I was talking to somebody else who told me. Sometimes when it comes to issues like this one, because when you're suffering from something like HIV, it affects your mental health status. It affects your mental state as well. And sometimes when you visit the wrong doctor, it gets worse. Somebody told me this and it happened to them. What can you say about this? What is your definition of a wrong doctor, maybe first say that? When I say a wrong doctor, maybe it's two people cannot always blend. Yes, it's human nature. Sometimes you're gonna meet some people that you're gonna blend with. Sometimes you're going to meet people that your bloods don't mix. So sometimes you meet somebody and you feel instantly, this person is judgmental. The type of questions they're asking, the type of way they're addressing things. Sometimes you're just not compatible with a person. But you see being judgmental is one of the non-skilling counseling, you shouldn't be judgmental. That is the first class. Yeah, actually even the question why it shouldn't come in a counseling room. Because when I ask you why I'm being judgmental, yeah, it shouldn't. Unless we call them unprofessional counselors, maybe. So chances are. Because the chances of you being judgmental, maybe you are unprofessional. All right, so chances are this person might be unprofessional. Unprofessional. All right. Yes. Wow. Guest deep. Sure. Be sure to interact with us on WhiteFive, watch our own Twitter, WhiteFive4, and ask which channel on Instagram and WhiteFive4 on Facebook. Hashtag is why in the morning. Hashtag is Wednesday. Hashtag is strength of a woman. Keep your questions, your views, and your comments coming our way. You can address them to me directly. It's by more. All right, so currently you're working with kids. You told me you're working with kids who have been, who have suffered. You said clans. All right, so clans who have suffered from sexual violence. All right, so people assume that it's only girls who go through this. All right, so maybe you can share with them. It's not actually only girl child, though the girl child is more prone to it, but also boy childs nowadays are also suffering from sodomization, which is even more dangerous than even the normal sexual for a young girl. But most of them is what I was talking about, meets and believe. Do you know most of people believe that anal sex does not transfer HIV? They believe so. Which is a huge misconception. Exactly, because anal sex, and actually this is a false sex, you see with the anus, the muscles, the anal muscles are only meant to bring out, but not to take inside. So when you are trying to molest these kids, so you are trying to force muscles, to reverse all the opposites, to reverse the wrong muscles. And now this is even when you are at very, very high risk of acquiring HIV, because there's a lot of bleeding included in it. Yes, and HIV is not transferred through body fluids, like the semen, all the ejaculation duct, the sperm itself, but also blood, yes. All right, so this is very dangerous and this is happening in Kenya right now. Kids are getting sodomized. All right, which leads to my next question. So as a parent, you release your kid to go to school, maybe at six a.m. in the morning, they walk in the reins, they go to school, they play, they come back in the evening, they're tired, they eat, they sleep. How do you know? Sometimes you know something might happen to a kid and they might never say it, because they'll feel ashamed or they were threatened to talk about it. How do you know as a parent that your kid is not Ayuko Sawa? No, Ayuko Sawa. Okay, the first thing I say to a parent, it's your role to educate your child on the private parts at a tender age. Actually, at the age of three, when we're washing that kids, let them know that they have a private part which should not be touched. Are you washing your girl child? Wash them in the vagina area and tell them, mommy, if in case someone touches you here, come and tell me, you know the voice of the kid, actually the first voice that sticks in the minds of a kid, it's very important, because know that he knew, mommy, if in case someone touches you here, someone touches them and tell them, you know the voice of the kid, so you see there's two voices that are gambling in the minds of these kids. But if he has trust in you as a parent, that is the first voice he had, all she had, which is almost the big exact, and remind them, not only once, when you are washing them, make sure when you are washing them in the evening, remind them that, mommy, if in case someone touches you here, you have this private part that someone should not touch. Second, you know the normal, the normal behavior of your kid, your kid maybe, a teacher in school, you also know the normal behavior of a kid, like a kid for instance who used to be very hyper, all of a sudden comes in school and now he just wants to be very withdrawn somewhere, he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to engage in games, at least don't overlook, just talk to that kid, I say, are you a parent and maybe you know the behavior of your kid, like the kid just comes and wants to be in bedroom, wants to sleep, don't say him, don't say him, like most say that, my kid nowadays is very antisocial, he just want to be in bedroom all, he just want to be, say, I'm a woman, I'm a woman, I'm a woman, I'm a woman, and by the way, you see like a normal grown up person would be raped, you see the psychology, as in, if you want to feel traumatized, the same way the kid feels, but just that he doesn't know how to open, because maybe he was like mailed, that is the most thing they use, and actually even as a parent, when you are washing them, you see the itching, due to that rip, there is that itching, but when you are washing your kid and you notice a pain somewhere, she's feeling pain, all the boy is feeling pain, just pay attention to why, why is he feeling pain in the private parts, if no one touched them? Those are the very small, small things that you did know, but they mean a lot. All right, so as a counselor, and somebody who's passionate about sex education, and a very free society, what is your vision with what you're doing? My vision actually is to, first of all, is to actually bring to zero the rape issue, especially for the young children, that is the biggest thing you can ever do, that is the, I think even, I don't know even God, how would punish such a person, when you are taking just that very small kid, and then you are raping them, at least if you just feel that sexual urge, because actually it's a very pressuring urge. I used to say, at least look for a grown up person, ladies are there who you can talk to. And it has to be consensual. Exactly, it has to be consensual, but no, you see the young child even under the constitution, he can't consent for sex. That is a very, very wrong mistake. I don't know even if you are conscious, we'll serve a right with you after you do such an action. It shouldn't be like that. And you see, actually in our days, even the parents are doing the same. And I say, especially for those women who are blackmailed by their husbands, that you see same, you see a child, and that person has raped your child. It's the high time you just value your kid more than you value your marriage. That's exactly what I say. Because a man who can rape your kids is none other than a killer. Yeah, don't give in for that, someone raped your child, but just because you want to save your marriage, that now you are hiding the same. So a rape-free society is what you're working towards. Exactly. Rape-free society. Rape-free society. And you're working with both the women and the men in this towards achieving this goal. All right, any projects that you're working on right now, and how can people get to talk to you in case they have problems with this? And how can people get a hold of you in case they want you to come teach, maybe they're kids in school, or teach their kids in Sunday school, or teach their kids during camps, or teach them about sex education? Yeah, I actually go to schools. I visit school, me personally, with a group of people whom we work with. We visit school, especially now we are dealing with Kajiyadu. The main aim, because as we have at least seen that abstinence is not working, let's be real. We can't keep on talking about abstinence year one. Then the next year we have around 3,000 students who are dropping out of HIV, dropping school out of early pregnancies. We talk about it the other year. Now we have 46% of youth who are suffering from HIV. And then now we continue assuming that abstinence is working. It is not working. And now if it's the best option actually, if you feel that you can abstain, I used to say that is the best option, but it's not working for real. It has not been working. So my real aim, I educate them. And actually to some schools, I even, and to you, they distribute condo. Like have it. Are you a lady? Have it. Are you going to visit your boyfriend? Have it in your handbag. Be bold enough to propose that yes, now we should use a condo because we are not married. I am the one who will carry the pregnancy. You will not carry the pregnancy as a man. Yeah, pregnancy is my role. I carry, and you have the choice either to say it's yours or not. Thank you very much for that insight. So we have a question from one of our viewers. And yes, is it a crime to infect somebody? Oh, is it a crime to infect somebody with HIV while knowing? Knowingly, it's a crime. It's in the constitution of Kenya. You can't be jailed for that. Yes, it's a crime, a very big crime for that matter. Knowingly, that is yes. Knowingly, when you do that knowingly. Thank you very much. How can they catch you on social media? Your camera is number four. No, my camera. Your camera is number four. Your social media handles, and maybe the organization social media handles so that they can interact with you in this day and age. You can go to my Facebook, Esther Karyoki. Esther, with an eye on her, so it reads Esther Karyoki on my Instagram at Esther Karyoki. And then on my YouTube, I have so very many videos talking on the proper way of using condoms. That is the most important. Yeah, my YouTube, Esther Karyoki into bracket safe sex. It's there, illustrated on the proper way of using condom. The way to use the pills and HIV pills who should use them and when to be used. What causes a person to be tested HIV positive or her results not seen negative and yes, positive and yet he's on ARVs. Their situation like that, when you can be under ARVs and when we're going to test, it doesn't show. The reasons why she thinks all the things on my YouTube so follow me there and yes. So Esther Karyoki on social. All right, thank you very much, Esther, for coming through and thank you very much for what you're doing for the kids and for the society at large. Thank you very much. All right, so we've come to the end of strength of a woman today and we had Esther Karyoki who's a sex educator, a psychologist, a counselor and she works with US aid. So for more information, be sure to head straight to our YouTube channel that is at Esther Karyoki and BracketSafeSex to get more important information. I go by the name of Barry Mosses or it's by one of the social media platform and Calla Meval is coming up next with Galstock, a hot topic you don't want to miss it.