 Hey, it's Bridget. I'm not sure if I'll actually share this with you as a Sunday morning coffee with Bridget but I just might Binding there's so much truth When you're alone at night not feeling well because I am working with The company of that illness that shall remain unnamed right now So yeah, my voice sounds different It's also like 2 a.m. So Let's just put that out there. I'm having a conversation with myself and Actually If I'm honest with you, I ask God for help Not because my body aches or I'm not feeling well Or I'm feeling alone Because all of these things are true and I can totally handle that It's just the way it is right now. I know it's temporary but more so because I've come to realize That I've lost myself and that this physical body situation that I'm in right now Is only the most appropriate mirror for how I feel inside at various times of our lives we go through things that Cause us to pause and reevaluate The course correct or completely change the path that we're on One of those times for me was the death of my father 20 years ago other things such as divorce a miscarriage And my dad's death have caused me to feel completely and utterly defenseless shattered at the very least a recognition of this In between the numbness this feeling of falling apart or being broken into pieces whether that be a gradual process through an illness or a divorce It still feels the same It feels like loss and right now I ask God for help because I've lost myself over the last several months. It seems as though I've abandoned myself Chosen the needs of others over my own It turns out I've always done those things I've always met other people's needs or what I perceived them to be so it's not let's be clear. It's not that I'm such a people pleaser that the people around me are so happy because I just do everything It's more so I Get frustrated when I feel like I'm not enough When the way that I love my people Or that I try To show up doesn't seem to make the desired impact that I want it to And it doesn't always result in being loved back or Receiving love back for the efforts that are made. I think this is just a pattern and a habit and something that we all do And yet right here and right now I'm realizing The loss that I feel It's the loss of me and maybe over these challenging times during our lives Whatever that looks like for you The life-defining moments the massive changes Whether they are by choice initiated by you for dreams to come true or For things to end the loss of ourselves may just be a necessary part of our Process of life But right here and right now I feel it I am so deeply aware of the ways that I have abandoned myself And even over all life experiences. I've had up to this point. I hadn't really fully done that I'd always had some sense of internal boundary where there was a place that was just mine That I would not give up or let go Very sacred place. That was just me That protected me From really being fully hurt But this also protected me from being fully seen Fully known or showing up in relationship with the kind of vulnerability that is required for authentic love And I think the truth is I have had such a deep desire to love myself authentically That over the last several months, I feel like I've had to lose myself I've had to realize in so many painful ways What I'm not Who I'm not What no longer serves me in fact, it doesn't even just not serve me It causes me great pain to hold on to these old facades To continue to show up in ways that I think people need from me to be Instead of allowing myself to become me We're fully More broadly more deeply Than I've ever even known in this lifetime So I ask God for help and this is what came to your bridge You are not Losing yourself You feel like you are dying. Yes inside Because you must Fully recognize and release all that is not you That has never been you so that you may be free to be Your self you must lose you in order to find The real you these two parts of you cannot coexist in the same body in This lifetime right now And you have chosen To lose what is not authentic to become it literally feels like death. It's so painful This loss of self and for a moment I really was laying here and I really got into this place where I felt like oh my god I have just sacrificed myself so much for so many other people in so many scenarios and circumstances and situations And it's really not other people's fault So listen to me you empath listening to this right now It is not other people's faults. It is not your job. It is not your relationship. Yeah, are they demanding? Yes Do they act like They need you 24-7. Yes Do you need to hold your own feelings back so that they can be satisfied? Yes at times. Yes These things are all true. You know, you beg barter and Negotiate away your needs all the time over and over again and all of the scenarios and the circumstances of your life Yes, you know that you are an empath. You care. You are so sensitive You are so good at taking in what other people need you perceive their needs. In fact you anticipate And when you get on the phone with them or you get in face-to-face Conversation with them you feel their intensity of their need and you set your shit aside and you show up for them because that's what you do You are the one that cares for everyone and in that moment You lose You lose another piece of yourself and maybe There's a purpose for that. Maybe there's a reason for that so that you can come to a point like this Where there is a major opportunity to recognize that this feeling of losing yourself over Again Is for a deeper purpose? Yeah, it feels like death. Let me tell you it literally feels like dying an emotional death with a lot of suffering and pain and yet There is I have to believe that there is this opportunity for rebirth It's to be born again And it's not to be born again to find Jesus it's to be born again to find Bridget This bridge is coming up She's gonna be brilliant and beautiful And strong and amazing and honoring of others In ways that she has boundaries leading by example Composting the pain with the ability to really hold space for the big shit So that others in her presence do not feel shame, but they recognize their feelings as opportunities part of a natural process of growth of change to fully live this life now don't wait So my friends the nearest I can consider is I'm in this death process And let me just tell you my physical body with this illness mysterious illness that shall remain unnamed Is sure An accurate reflection of how I feel on the inside And it's how I felt these last several months and I know through Some of the things I've shared on videos in my vlogs In my posts That you can see that I've been going through a deep healing process And yes, I know I've also shared some of the real life human situations that are kind of unbelievable stacked up like a big old Samarch on top of my Real life right now. So I know that In perspective, you're probably like, whoa, of course, I would feel like crap too Bridget if I was dealing with those things any one of those things But the truth is there's this inner incredible inner Inner journey that has been happening this unfolding This deep loss of me And although there is loss I'm not actually lost Let's be super clear The feeling of loss and grief and sadness and pain Does not mean lost Because I am present for the process. I am in it. I am with it. I have resources I mean, let me tell you I have a team That I have by choice put in place two different counselors A life coach two psychic friends Many other wonderful Friends that I can lean on I had a couple of really good friends I can lean on Really talk to about the real shit that's going on And they don't judge they're just Loving and supportive Things like acupuncture and chiropractic care hands-on healing work distance healing work clearing those things We all need This kind of support So that we don't feel lost Because we're not Lost we feel lost And I know that the suffering I'm feeling is grief as I let These versions of myself die and the expectations of how I need to be or what I need to do in order to be liked or loved By the people that I want to be liked or loved by They have to die too. The expectations have to die because the truth is that The people those people that are really my people will love me Not because of what I do for them or how I listen to them or how I help them or make them feel about themselves But because I me And those are the kinds of authentic relationships that I want that I Need as just a standard That's authentic connection It's not about how I make people feel about themselves That makes them want to be around me That's flawed That's just a manipulation of energy Of emotion of feeling if someone feels so good to be around you. So they're around you And all you focus on then is The good that you bring to them so that they can feel good. That's not a relationship That's not an authentic connection That's fake That's you manipulating the energy as an empath That's you suffering so someone else can feel good That's you losing yourself So that someone else can have That peace of you It's like a slow stripping away that creates this loss And when you wake up in the middle of the freaking night like 2 30 in the morning In case you have to take medicine because your fever is back You realize that you've been doing that all along And instead of being angry at yourself or mad About all sorts of random things in the middle of this Intense body clearing perspective comes in That you may feel loss To the old versions of yourself the way you used to be in relationship Because the truth is That what you think is the newer version of yourself really has been there all along Underneath all of the facade That version of you that you think is new that you are becoming Is really the version of you that is rising up She has always been here She is now going to be born into your awareness In a way That will never die She will never leave you and therefore you will never feel alone again Because you will be with your truest authentic self The real you Wow, I hope I have the guts to share this with you all You know, let me just say sometimes I think that I mean I get really deeply profound insight. Okay Often let's just be clear often. I'm very lucky. I feel in that I can receive that Yet I don't always share it like this because part of me as a human is afraid that you'll think So many things about me and I mean, this is my job I make my living as an intuitive coach I should be walking the talk I should be willing to double down and do the deeper work And really mean what I freaking say because I do it myself I don't tell you just to do things and face things when I'm not willing to do it myself I effin do it So I guess I shouldn't You know, let my ego mind think that you might think that's a weakness When the truth of the matter is when I work Which I have been by the way, I have been working all these months I've been blessed to have clients who When we show up together in session Oh my gosh magic happens Because I understand what it's like to need someone to hold that space for you The way you need it not to tell you what to do But to truly listen to validate to help clear the path energetically And obviously I need to wrap this video up or this audio up Oh, oh clearing. This is Bridget. I hope I've Inspired I'm just gonna let this end right here and right now. Thanks for listening