 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening repress yourself Have a coke and now Claudia Hasn't it been a nice night for a walk? What are you thinking of? Nothing anything worrying you nope. I think you're wrong at the office. Nope. I bet it's that old pipe of yours What is you're moping because the stem broke? It wasn't the stem It had been it could have been repaired. It was the bowl. I wasn't the only pipe you all know But it was my favorite one. I didn't know there were some of the words you use when it cracked You've led a very sheltered life, but you don't know very much about pipes either What's wrong? See something just flew in my eye. Blow your nose. Oh that never helps with me Funny how you don't appreciate your eye until you get something in it or your teeth until you get a toothache Are you stomach until you get a stomachache? Maybe we better stop right there. Look. Here's my hand. Well, I'll show you how I know perfectly well how to blow my nose Anyway, it never gets things out of my eyes an exploded theory. It is not. How does your eye feel now? Terrible step over here under the streetlight. Let me see what I can do none of this rolling up my eye like a rod stop being a sissy I am not a sissy and why do men think that when they look at things it helps flash and open up I can't open if I get open. I'd be all right. We're going to get what's in it out of it You've got to open it. This is just the doctor in you coming out open up All right there you satisfied I can't see a thing. Wait a second. No. No. Must be blind. Probably just a little spec. The big lump of coal Let's cross the street. There's a drugstore over there and the drug is to be able to get it out. I knew it'll be that old Toothpick and rolling up like a rug stun after all. You want to get that big lump of coal out of your eye Don't you. And I do anything for you. I wonder if you could help us. My wife just got a sender in her eye If you stand over here by the light. Can you get it out without running my lid up like a window shade That's funny. It's not at all funny. It's barbaric. That's what it is. A little more into the light please Thousands of years people have been getting things in their eyes. You think they have found a better way to get them out This way always seems to work. It wouldn't be so smug about it for your eye. Little idea. Now look up I'm practically upside down there we are where they're on the point of the piece of cotton I don't see it. You don't see that tremendous piece of coal. A little spec can feel like a mountain sometimes Or a molehill. I don't think you got it out. It always feels that way in a few minutes. Better now Can I pay you for this. We're not doctors. We just do this to help people but I need a lot of things What will you need me. What do we need David. I know toothpaste. What kind. Peppermint You're buying toothpaste darling not candy. It's pink too. This is a kind I think you want the pink kind tastes better I suppose is this your kind. Yes. David look at that whole case full of pipes I'm going to buy you Thank you dear but a pipe is something that you don't buy on a drugstore. We have some wonderful pipes here I'll show you. No thank you don't bother. You buy practically everything else in a drugstore. Got a nice new number here Lined with honey the first time you smoke it burns your tongue off and smells like autumn leaves. Well that's a nice smell Not to a pipe smoke. Well I wouldn't know I never smoked one of these factors I don't smoke pipe Now here's a good seller we have it's got a magnesium coil and distills out all the nicotine That's what says on the box. It probably writes under water too. It doesn't say anything about that Now how about this little briar. No I don't think so. Thanks. Well let me buy you a pipe. No Well just to show you I don't hold grudges I think I'll let you buy me a soda. Does it ever occur to you that you're always hungry. No But seeing a soda fountain makes me hungry and seeing a beautiful roast beef probably makes you thirsty. Buy me one You took the words right out of my mouth. What do you folks have. Chocolate ice cream soda Raspberry in a chocolate ice cream soda. Who said I wanted a chocolate ice cream soda. You did miss I want what you have Over there in the picture. Giant double Sunday. Raspberry Sunday and put a little chocolate ice cream in it too Chocolate ice cream and a slice of banana. Combination Sunday. Marshmallow or whipped cream sounds like the basic formula Marshmallow and the chocolate and whipped cream on the raspberry. Yeah. Here you are lady Take care of the maraschino cherry on the top. You want that too. She likes maraschino cherries Probably the only reason she ordered what's under it. What'll it be for you mister. Aren't you going to have one David. Me one of those things I suppose you don't think it's manly to eat a soda. I don't think it's sensible to put all that stuff inside you Have a lime. I'll have a Coca Cola. This is good. Oh I'm glad I wouldn't know. Thirty five cents. Thanks Claudia you're eating that awfully quickly. I'm awfully hungry. They make shipwrecked men eat very slowly. I'm not shipwrecked men They're almost finished. All right. Take your time. Let's go home. You know David it's funny about men. Sounds like it was profound It doesn't mean anything. You know I wonder if most of the profound things in life are just unfinished sentences. I'm not being profound Just observant. All right. What's funny about men. Well they're really much more possessive than women I always thought it was the other way around. Take your razor for instance. You don't like me to use it I don't like you to use it to take the paint off the window glass. No not that but you really don't like me to touch it Is that being selfish. Selfish I said possessive. It's your newspaper in the morning in your office and your pipe Of course it's my pipe. What would you want to do with the pipe blows soap bubbles. No but if I move it You look at it closely to see if I scratched it and when I asked you if it wouldn't be good to boil it out over the stove You simply explode I did not explode where I stood you did you gave a dress rehearsal of what you do if I ever did did what Well your pipe out. Well we can forget about the pipe for a while. It's broken now. I'm glad I didn't do it I wish you had why I can't be as mad at myself for being so clumsy as I could have been at someone else Well here we are at home. Have a nice walk David what let's walk a little more down the avenue with the wind blowing in our faces We've just finished a long walk aren't you tired I was but I'm not now you know I feel a little queer Anything particular. No just a little queer yes like something I ate didn't agree with me David you didn't taste anything funny about the supper No no I thought it was a grand supper it isn't bad it's just just queer probably something you ate Couldn't be if you feel all right could be I feel fine of course I didn't eat that poisonous concoction at the soda fountain You don't think a little thing like that I think just that come on we'll walk a couple of blocks and you'll feel fine Here we are almost home again and I feel fine I feel marvelous with all this walking I've worked up an appetite I could eat a horse Fresh out of horses I'd settle for a sandwich Fresh out of sandwiches What's the matter don't you think I'm worth feeding No bread I mean there's just enough for breakfast Well how about a piece of cake and a glass of milk and don't say fresh out Then what's another way of saying it because the kitchen just as clean up these Mrs. Jack Spratt's platter Who is Mrs. Spratt and what she got to do with it Skip it I arrange it that way on the night I defrost the icebox it's my system to have an empty larder Most of the trouble in the world comes from people who have systems You pick this particular night to take me out and exercise me into a ravenous hunger Drug stores here at the corner piece of cake and a glass of milk Fine fine then I'll be able to sleep You're right with you folks They have some really nice pound cake with raisins in it That's good Hey see what that kid's ordering when I was his age that was my passion What A chocolate walnut sundae Walnuts and syrup Sounds like a fairly innocent passion It wasn't they used to cost ten cents And one time I earned a half a dollar cleaning out a backyard Yes And I ate five of them in a row You were a pig They were wonderful Well hello it's you folks again what do you have lady another one of those soup that you look special I don't think I'll have anything thank you but my husband will have a glass of milk and a piece of cake I've changed my mind I'll have what you just served that youngster over there Chocolate walnut sundae Is that what it is? Look Claudia if you don't feel well I better get some bicarbonate of soda Oh I feel fine now really really Well just to be on the safe side you can't be too careful of boxing bicarbonate I'll send it over to the counter for you Always wise to have stuff like that around the house Hey I missed the chocolate walnut sundae Sure you won't have anything Claudia Nope not a thing Well I am a little thirsty Maybe I have a coke You never can resist anything can you Oh I learned my lessons at night already And here's a package from the other counter I say 60, 60, 65, 75 I'm shy of dying Claudia I've got a diet I have a quarter That'll do Thanks keep the change You should thank me too it was my quarter Thank you too All right David it's been a wonderful evening Just us two together Lovely night and a long walk What's the matter didn't you really enjoy it? You really are moping about your pipe again aren't you? I haven't thought of it in the last five minutes Well here we are isn't it grand to have our own home And be going up to it Look darling why don't you go on upstairs And I'll come along in a little while What's wrong? Nothing's wrong I just like to walk a little bit more Darling you want to walk more? No I do not What I want to do is to break a vicious circle A what? A vicious circle We take a simple walk after dinner And you get hungry and have to eat some horrible mixture Then we have to walk further until you feel better And I get hungry Like a darn fool I You know that Sunday was awfully rich and sweet I'll walk with you darling I'd be glad to And have this performance go on all night This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney More and more factories and offices are installing those familiar red coolers So that employees can pause for a coke and work refreshed But you don't have to install any extras in your kitchen Your refrigerator will do nicely All you have to do is see that it's well stocked with Coca-Cola Then you can pause in the midst of your household duties whenever you feel the need And refresh yourself with ice cold coke Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again Monday at the same time And now this is Joe King saying au revoir and remember Whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be When you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola Or ice cold Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes