 Hey what's up guys, welcome back to my channel, I hope you're doing amazing. If you're new here, hi. Hello, my name's Lydia. I'm in mental health YouTube videos over here on YouTube. Today's video is one that you guys have wanted me to tell for a while. It's also a pretty recent story, like it's only happened around a month ago, so it's a pretty recent story. And to be honest, when it first happened, there was that I need to post this and I need to talk about it somewhere I need to speak about it, then I just feel like do I really want to? And you guys seem to want to know, so I've decided, fuck it. I'm just gonna go ahead and tell the story. Such a day story time is about my worst inpatient experience. So those of you who don't know me hi, I'm Lydia, I struggle with my mental health and I have done quite intensely this year. I've been inpatient six times. The last admission I had, which was only a two-day admission, funnily enough, and it was the worst admission, was a month ago. And in that admission, my fucking god, the fact that I'm even making an entire video about this is ridiculous. So I'm gonna have to like split this into parts. So we're gonna start with why I was that. So the police came to here to do it really well for a check on me. I'm still not entirely sure why. So then like you seem a bit paranoid. I'd been getting contacted by police and I just wasn't happy. It was started to fuck with me. I got really paranoid. And yeah, I was paranoid, but I still don't believe it warranted a hospital admission. I got one three sixth, which is section one three sixth, the mental health act. It's a 24 hour hold. Police can use if you are in a public play. Technically I got coerced outside. So to them, police officers, fucking you, can't do that to someone. Then I got taken to the hospital. I was in a one three sixth week, which was a room with a chair and a big ass glass window. One, they refused to give me my rights. And this is where my complaining starts. And I haven't, at this point, we're only on a one three sixth. So technically I'm allowed my phone. I am allowed to contact someone. And I have to have my rights to be held somewhere against my will. I was refused my phone. I was refused my right. I was refused to tell anyone where I was. Refusing me of them three things is illegal. But then didn't get told I was being put in a section two until this staff member grabbed hold of my arm. To which I responded kicking. And I was like, what the fuck, get the fuck off me. I would, I would have walked voluntarily with them. You grab hold of me. I'm going to be a bitch. They grabbed hold of me. And I was like, get the fuck off me, give me my phone. I need to talk to my solicitor. I need to talk to someone. No, you can do that when you get on the water. I was like, what the fuck, what, what, what, what, what? Because I was going to get them put on section two and I'm getting Lydia, while I'm wearing my arms up like that, being pulled back by two staff members. They was like, Lydia, you're being detained in section two because we were concerned about your welfare. And I was like, what the fuck is this? Like what the fuck is this? I've never been sectioned for being correct about being wrongfully accused of something. And I, I can prove that what I accused of in Lancashire was wrong. Like, case against me was thrown out. And the person responsible for that is no longer in my life. I'll leave a link to that video in the description down below if anyone interested. But I was so pissed off that I grabbed the lanyard off one of the people, hold me, because I got one of my arm. What I did, I bent my arm round, got it off, pushed the one off against the wall like that. And I grabbed one that was held there as lanyard and I got the fucking key swipe key and I went to out the door and I was just like, give me my fucking phone. I didn't even want it, friend. I literally wanted to talk to my solicitor, which is my legal right under a section two of the mental health parts. You have a right to appeal and a right to have an advocate. I wanted to contact my 24 hour solicitor. They refused. They refused to give me my rights. I never actually got given that right at all at any point. But we haven't even gotten to the ward yet. No, no, no, no, no. This is just another 136 weeks. So I grabbed the key. So yes, yes, yes, I got physically restrained, pushed on the floor or whatever. You know, you all know that story. That happened. I then got taken up, well, up in the lift to the ward. When I got on the ward, I was just like, I was like, I need to contact my solicitor. They refused. They made me go and sit in the kitchen and now we're going to answer the interesting part. So I wrote a review on Google. So there was rats running around the fucking kitchen. And it's not just me who's wrote this on a review. Multiple people have wrote this on a review on here and it hasn't been dealt with. It was ridiculous. So you don't know. I didn't need anything in the entire two days there. I was there. But then again, would you eat food in a kitchen that had rats in? I don't think so. So I ended up going out of the kitchen. So I was like, I'm not fucking sitting in here with rats running around because I can't deal with stuff like that. I love hamsters and whatever. Like, I'll like hamsters and my baby, you know, hamsters are amazing. I love like actual animals. But like, these are like pests coming in. And I'm not saying rats and all that are pests. Like, if they're the pet cogs, they're fine. They're adorable. They're cute. These were the pest kind. And they were just running around this ward. And actually, I was like, you need to fucking deal with that. I never walked up to reception. I was like, I want the blanket. I had a blanket on my head when I came in. Like, I put it out. Like, it's one of the ones with the hood. I put that over my head and I wrapped around in it because I hadn't got a bra on because, like I said, police coerced me outside so I didn't have anything. And in fairness, the two police officers who waited there with me was amazingly nice to me when I was setting them on three, six weeks. They waited with me until I got told what's going on. So I do appreciate that. So thank you, Met Police. I actually do appreciate that. Back to the ward. So the staff there were fucking horrible. Every single, like, there's two staff members on that ward that were decent with me. One was the doctor, probably enough. And the other was the male staff member that was working during the day. He was amazing. He was nice to me and the doctor was nice to me. I got given my phone at one point and I called Serenity and we made a video talking about this when I came out of the hospital. I'll leave a link to that in the description down below because that vlog will explain this whole admission properly to you. So I called Serenity and I was like, I've been part of this section too. And I was going mad. The doctor then called me in. I was like, yeah, you can add your anxiety medication if you need it, whatever. And I went into the reception to get a nurse. I was like, can I have my anxiety medication? I was like, one, you're locking me up illegally. You're refusing to give me my rights. You're not letting me. They didn't even show me where I was sleeping. They didn't even show me where I was sleeping. I got so pissed off, so wound up and my emotions just got so out of control. And then the only way I could get my meds that I could think of in that moment was if I was to try and do something to myself, which I did. I took the shoelace out of my shoes and I tried to hang myself on a wall. I wasn't trying to kill myself. I just wanted my anxiety meds. Like, it wouldn't eventually have been enough to kill me. I knew that. I wanted my meds and I got them. I did that. But during this process, I missed out a massive chunk here. I'm gonna have to put some pictures here while I'm explaining this. So when I went and asked this nurse for my medication, no, why can't I have it? I'm allowed it. It's late. You should just go to bed. I can't sleep without my meds. No, you're not having them. I was like, what the fuck? Don't talk to me like that. Hit me there. Hit me fucking there. Of all places you could hit me. She then grabs hold of me for no reason at all. There was no reason at this point to grab hold of me. I had up been violent. I'm not a violent person. The only thing I've ever done is grab the fucking keys off of them. And that wasn't even at that point. And this was like, she hit me. Then she grabbed hold of me and pinned me in the floor and smacked my head off the floor. And I've still got a lump, actually. Like, there on my head from it. Like, she then grabbed hold of me and smashed my head off the floor. And the doctor came up and was like, what the hell's going on here? And then went in to have a physical check done. My blood pressure was really low. My pulse was really high. And I was given my medication. I was given the propanenol. I'm prescribed. I was given my ansteristhen. I was given diazepam. I was given zopi-cloid. I was given the rasapam. That's a lot of sedating medication, right? I was so wound up. And then this doctor was like, are you okay? I was like, I just got fucking assaulted. What do you think? I was like, I want my phoen. So the doctor went and got me my phoen. I had my phoen. I contacted 1-I-1 and reported it as assault. Big foul. Assault in battery. And after she heard me doing this, like, this and this, who's making this report? She came up to me, grabbed my phoen out of my hand, hung up the phoen, pinned me against the wall and pushed me on the fucking floor. I've got so many pictures of the bruises that happened in this situation. And my fucking god. Anyone ever tries to get me in the hospital, guys, where to god, they would have to fucking kick me up and carry me in there. Because there is no way. Let's get onto the part where I tried to hang myself. Yes, they stopped me. Yeah. I didn't actually try to kill myself. I put something around my neck that wasn't that tight. I wanted to kill myself. I just wanted to get my medication. I wasn't trying to do anything. This was before the doctor gave me my medication. Like I said, after that, the doctor did give me my medication that I was allowed to have. I always then put onto 1-I-1 supervision. Next day, I then saw the, like, discharge committee and guess what? Oh, we'll see you again tomorrow. Didn't get told what was going on. No one gave me my rights. I just need to reiterate, no one gave me my rights. So, stay tuned. This same bitch, right? This same fucking bitch. I don't know how she's got a job. I really don't. This second day, I was only on 1-I-1 supervision. So, there was a member of staff with me throughout the day and throughout the night. I was pretty much sedated the entire time. My medication nearly is quite strong and it does knock me out. I think they may have increased the dose. I don't know because I'm not normally that sedated. I don't normally sleep for 48 hours, but whatever, you know? So, she woke me up at around 10 o'clock, right? I can't remember exactly what she said, but she wouldn't let me have my medication again. And then the staff member that was with me went and got the management manager down from whatever, wherever it was in the building. And she was like, this girl needs a medication. She was being victimized and bullied by this staff member. I then, I was refused my phone. I wasn't allowed my phone in all this, by the way. I had no phone. They wouldn't let me talk to my solicitor, who would try to call me out of the day. They wouldn't let me call in the 60, you know? Oh no, why would Lydia need to do that? Oh. So, then we'll fast forward through the night because I slept through it, believe it or not. After I had my meds, knocked me out again. Day 2. I was with the decent staff member and I went and sat in the kitchen for a bit. Oh my god, I had such a bad allergic reaction. I don't know what it was, too. I've never had an allergic reaction that bad. My entire arms had got little, like, hives all up and down them. My stomach had them on, bear had it, my face had it, my neck had it, my back had it, my legs had it. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, I'm not taking medication. I haven't had it before. I'm on the same medication all the time. I was like, what the fuck is this? What are you doing? What are you doing to me? And that day, I also had the police come and take a statement from me. Within three hours of me giving that statement to the police, I was discharged. Just appreciate that. My solicitor also turned up as well because it was illegal. What they was doing to me was illegal. I'd been assaulted. I don't even know how many times. You've seen the pictures of what happened. Honestly, that admission was by far the worst admission I've ever had and fucking hell. It's not even like I'm the only one who's had this experience in that hospital. They are beyond a fucking joke. Like, fucking rats running around the kitchen. I'm just not even getting an assault apart. She smashed my head off a fucking floor and that could have had like some serious repercussions. Like, I'm not that strong myself. Like, look at the fucking size of me. I'm five foot two, right? I'm not very big at all. I'm not very strong either. She smashed my head off a lot and while it only gave me my neck and cushion, it could have fucking knocked me out. Like, in the worst case, sorry, I could have ended up in 3A and E. And it just, it baffles me that this woman was able to do that and then had other staff members defending her and then the doctor saw it. He was like, what was going on? The doctor seemed more confused than I was. And it was, it was so, that admission was so fucked up. Right, it was the most fucked up admission I've ever had. I've been admitted for some weird things in the past. Well, this was the most fucked up fucking thing ever. Like, I can live without having a phone. All I wanted was to speak to my solicitor, which is my legal right. I would have appreciated having my rights given to me at some point, which I didn't have. I just, when I gave a statement to the police, I was like, they haven't even given me rights. He had to hold me in hospital. How's that bad? I was like, I can't. I was like, I know the difference between reasonable force and assault. I was like, I'm not stupid. The officer took my statement and said, do you want to press charges? And I said, yes. The thing is with me now, I used to be very afraid of doing anything, like taking legal action against people. Now I'm not. I don't give a fuck anymore. Like, if someone fucks with me, I'll fuck with them. But if you would fucking hit me and beat me against the floor, expect me to respond. Like, I just don't get it. It's like, I still can't believe the alleged reaction. I don't know what that was from. That was really fucking weird. I don't know what it was from. It's not like I ate anything. I had my regular medication that I literally have, like, there. I have my medication. Worst admission of my life. And I've had a lot of pretty shit admissions. This was the fucking worst. And do you know what I'm going to say? If you guys want me to add this to my book, which is the second edition of my book, which has been released the end of the year, let me know in the comments down below. And if you don't know, I have a book on Amazon. It's in the description down below. You may want to buy it. The first edition is only going to be available for a limited period of time. And it's my child. It's nothing professional. I wrote it myself. It's my baby, you know? Second edition is coming out at the end of the year. It's one of those new chapters, loads of new everything. And if you don't know who I am, hit the subscribe button because I make storytime videos. I make vlogs. I talk about my life. And crazy shit happens, apparently. Like, getting assaulted by a mental health nurse. Bashing my head in the gates of the floor. I got called a stupid white bitch as well. Fucking racism. I can live with it. It sounds like I can live with name calling whether... I think... I can't remember what. She was just... She went after me. But this bitch went on like a witch hunt. It was a terrible admission. And do you know what? On all that, my opinion on the West London Mental Health Team isn't actually bad, but the crisis team is actually amazing. Never thought I'd say that sentence. The community team assessed me and I agree with that thing. I don't really want to do the therapy thing, but, I mean, what's the point in arguing with them as we'll give it a go, haven't I? The crisis team here have my approval. Impatient facilities down here so far. I hope there aren't any more admissions to you, but if there are, I can tell you this now. I would... I'd just leave London. I'd go anywhere but there. Like, they would have to physically pit me or put me in there. It kind of dragged me in there anyway. I can't... God fucking assaulted by a nurse. If you're new here, hit the subscribe button. Make sure you flip the notification button on and check out the community tab. Leave a comment down below if you've got any questions or things you'd like me to answer or just want to have a general conversation. Make sure you go follow me over on Twitter and TikTok. Be on my main social medias. I also post a bit on Instagram now. I'm becoming social media active. Hey, what's wrong with me? Yeah, it's been a long day. I say that I've been in bed all day. I haven't left this bedroom today at all. I'm going to have my meds and I'm going to get to sleep because I'm tired. That was right on cue. That was on cue. I'll see you guys soon. I hope you're having an okay day and if you're not, I hope it'll get better soon. Like I said, links are always in the description down below. Peace, guys. I missed. I fucking missed. I got it that time. Thank God.