 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. These company makers of Bar-K Marchen and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time written by John Wheyton and Sam Moore with music by Claude Sweeten. Prepare for the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. Now, more than ever, America needs a strong. Even tougher jobs lie ahead in 1945, so it's not too late to make good family nutrition in your special New Year's resolution. And to help your hard-working family replace some of that vital energy they use up daily, one of the best foods you can serve is delicious parquet margarine. This nutritious spread for America's bread is a top-notch energy food. And Kraft makes parquet an even more valuable food by adding 9,000 units of vitamin A to every single pound. And there's still another way parquet margarine aids good family nutrition. Parquet's fresh, delicate flavor makes other wholesome foods taste better. Makes you want to eat and enjoy your full share of bread, rolls, and cooked vegetables. So make parquet a regular part of your family's daily diet. Buy delicious nourishing parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. Now let's join our friend the great Gildersleeve as he winds up the year 1944. It's the day before New Year's in Summerfield and Gildersleeve after considerable pressure from Leroy and with considerable reluctance on his own part finds himself at last on skates. He, that is, he stands nervously on his old rockers at the edge of Tolly's pond while Leroy and Marjorie cut fancy figures on their new Christmas tubulars. Hey, look out, Leroy! Whoa! You seem to leave, Uncle, you're all alone. Don't mind me, my dear, just have your fun. Oh, come on, Uncle Mort's skate with me a little. You can hold my arm. I don't like the looks of this pond. It's a good pond, safe too, Uncle. I don't know. Come on, let's try it. I'll take one arm and Leroy can hold the other. I want Leroy to keep away from me. I better try it alone first. He, that's not as bad as I thought. Well, you're wonderful, Uncle. I used to be quite a skater in my younger days. Did you play hockey? No. Why not? It hadn't been invented. If I, George, this is fun. Come on, Marjorie, I'll race you down at the end of the pond. OK. You've got what? I've got it. It's a game like tennis. Well, who's got it? I have. Well, you won't have it. I'm gonna catch you myself. Oh, yeah? At least I think so. Well, I still got it. Nice and soft and sit on it. You got it. Pretty near, Commissioner. You getting fidgety? No. My back's a little sore. Hurts when I move. Sit still then. Hurts when I sit still too long. Well, whoopie long now, as the monkey said when his tail got caught in a lawnmower. You gonna make a little whoopee tonight, Commissioner? No. No whoopee? No. A judge hooker hooked me into an evening at the lawyer's club. You just imagine the kind of whoopee goes on there. How'd you happen to get sucked into that, anyway? Last I heard, the judge was gonna handle that suit against you for that senorita. Well, he said she had no case. In fact, he was so friendly about it that I, well, I thought I ought to spend New Year's Eve with him. Oh, one of them things. Well, you should squawk. We gotta spend the evening with the wife's folks. That makes me feel better. Yeah, they're pretty strict. Father ain't a bad guy. Probably like to sneak out with me if he got a chance. But her mother... Oh? What's the matter with her? Used to have money. Claimed she did, anyway. Dear her tell it, she was practically an heiress, and the old man came along and married her when she wasn't looking. Oh. She asked me, he's the one wasn't looking. Yes, sir. She's... Ow! What's the matter? Did I nip you? Why don't you sharpen your scissors, Floyd? I hone these scissors every day. I must have run into a tough hair. All my hairs are identical. Just watch it. I'll watch it. But as I was saying, the old lady claimed she used to have money, so she always acts like everybody else with some kind of a bump from across the tracks. But if she was an heiress, her old man must have been a burglar, because her table man has never come from Park Avenue. He uses a knife and fork like a bulldozer. Aren't you almost through, Floyd? I guess so. Well, well, here comes another customer. Hi, Judge. Happy new year. You're making yourself pretty, I see. Just a haircut, Judge. Start the new year with a clean slate. I hear you and Mr. Gilder's sleeve are going on a tear tonight, Judge. Is that right? Mr. Gilder's sleeve is to be my guest at the Lawyer's Club. We have an annual entertainment. I hear it's pretty wild, though. Women climbing out of pies and all that. Now take it easy, Floyd. There'll be nothing like that on the evening's agenda. Agenda? Is there going to be an agenda? I was being humorous, Gilder. Oh. The program will consist principally of our annual mock trial. Trial, eh? Who's the prisoner? Year 1944 will be on trial for its life. I played a part of Father Time, and Judge Hofstetter is the prosecutor. Last year, he gave a summation of 1943. It was about as brilliant a piece of history as you ever heard. History? You'll enjoy it, Gilder. Some of the side remarks are very funny, too. Oh, well, it sounds great, Judge, but... I never forget last year when Walter Irving, a counsel for the defendant, told the court that 1943 would go down in history as the year of sulfonylamide and penicillin. Hofstetter objected. On the grounds, this statement was drugged in, eh? Was much funnier if you could have seen Hofstetter's face when he said it. Look, Horace, this all sounds like a lot of good fun, but I don't know whether I'm going to be able to make it tonight. Can't make it? Why, Gilder, I've arranged for you to be on the jury. Oh, wonderful, Horace. I appreciate it, too, but the fact is, I don't feel very good. Oh, Poppycock, never saw you looking better. No, I mean it, Judge. I'm afraid maybe I've got a little touch of sacrieliac. Sacrieliac? I know just what to do for it, had it all my life. I've got a special prescription PB makes up for it. Oh, but this is different, Horace. Oh, different, my eye. Come on, now. PB'll fix you up as good as new and you'll get in on all the fun tonight. Oh, thank you. Come on. All right, all right. Don't push me, Judge. Here, Floyd. Happy New Year. Thanks. Uh, have a good time tonight. Ha! Same to you, Commissioner. What brings you here? Judge Hooker brings me here, PB. He claims you got a magic remedy for sacrieliac. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. You know, PB, the stuff you gave me that time, I had the accident at the carnival? Well, yes, that might alleviate it. I've got a bottle of it right here. What was your accident at the carnival, Judge? I fell off the merry-go-round. Serves you right, you old goat. There it is, Mr. Gervis, didn't you? I make this up myself from a formula I picked up some years ago. Well, my customers have had very happy experiences with it. Oh? You drink it or rub it on the place? Uh-oh, you rub it on. What's the nature of the injury? I was skating and I fell on the ice. For that area, you'll need the larger bottle. Now see here, PB. You too, Hooker. This is no matter. I'm a sick man. You just rub this on and lie quiet for a couple of days. That's right. Lie quiet, Judge. That's the very thing. That's ridiculous. I never had to lie quiet. Yeah, and you never got cured. I'm not taking any chances. Now, you're just trying to get out of going to the lawyer's club. Why, Horace, how can you think that? All right. If you don't want to come, don't come. Goodbye. Goodbye, yourself. PB, I'm sorry I had to start a row in the air, but I couldn't just see myself spending New Year's Eve with a bunch of lawyers. What are you doing tonight, PB? Well, shame is every year, I go to bed at 10 o'clock, and if the whistle's wake us up at 12, we say happy New Year. Well, by George, that's the sensible way to do it. The whole idea of sitting up to all hours is silly. Oh, it's all right if you feel like it, I guess. No, PB, it's just silly. Sensible way is to get a new, a good night's sleep and get a flying start on the New Year. Jump into 1945 with both feet and start punching. Well, I always clean out the cellar in New Year's day. Well, I don't say I'll go as far as that, PB. Well, hello, Mrs. Rancher. Hello, Mr. PB. Oh, Leela, happy New Year. Shame to you, Strockmorton, and a happy New Year to Mr. PB, too. Well, thank you, Ram. Mr. PB and I were just talking about New Year's Eve, Leela. I bet you're going out on some wild party to all hours, aren't you? Well, no, Strockmorton. I decided I wouldn't. I'd call my would, but it's not the same up here. Oh, what do you mean? Well, in summer field, the men don't dress, and they aren't any of the old traditions like the egg nog and all that make it such fun down home. Oh, I guess you're right, Leela. I suppose you'll be tan around, though, won't you, Strockmorton? No, I just about decided to go to bed early and get a flying start on 1945. That sounds awfully sensible. No, no, I wouldn't say that. What? If I were as young as either of you, I'd raise a little net tonight, and that's fine. Oh, you would, PB? I certainly would. By George, maybe you're right. Leela, how about it? Let's have some fun this evening. I'll put on my dress suit and make some egg nogs. Oh, Strockmorton, but what about your flying start on 1945? The heck with 1945? That's next year. Yeah. Younger slave will be with us again in just a few seconds. In our Sunday night pancake or waffle feast is a welcome change from the elaborate menus you may have been serving through the holiday season. And to make your pancakes and waffles really sing out with appetite appealed, spread on some delicious Parquet margarine for that crowning touch of flavor. Your family and guests are sure to enjoy Parquet's fine flavor. It's so fresh, so delicate, and so satisfying. In fact, Parquet margarine has enjoyed daily in millions of homes. It is one of America's favorite spreads for bread, hot toast, and rolls. And it's wonderfully nourishing, too. Parquet is high in food energy value and Kraft guarantees every single pound of Parquet margarine to contain 9,000 units of important vitamin A. So for good nourishment and real flavor enjoyment, buy and serve Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. Yes, Kraft makes Parquet. Now to the great Gilder Sleeve, who is determined to show his southern neighbor that the holiday hospitality of Summerfield can be quite as gracious and festive as that of the old South. With Marjorie going out for the evening with friends and Leroy, spending the night at Piggy's, he figures he should have a free hand. Well, we'll see. Oh, here he comes down the stairs and all dressed up. Holy smokes! Look at Uncle. He's got his waiter suit on. His tails, Leroy. Uncle Marge, you look wonderful. Hello. Thank you, my dear. Oh, I love your tails. You look so distinguished. You're looking very fit yourself, my dear. A regular little princess. Isn't she, Leroy? Yeah, she's okay. Where she gets dressed up. Thank you, Leroy. You like that thing she's got in her hair, Uncle? Very pretty. I gave her that. Great me. Who are you going out with, my dear? A friend of Francie's. His name is Keith. Keith? The only boy ever named Keith I didn't like. I suppose it's all right, though, if you get home early. Aren't you in by 11 o'clock? 11 o'clock? New Year's Eve? Oh, have a heart, aren't you? You've got to at least hear the New Year come in. Well, 12 o'clock on the dot. Oh, Anki, it's New Year's. All right, 12.30, then. One o'clock? Uh, all right, one o'clock. But not a minute later. I don't want you up to all hours with anybody named Keith. And, uh, you, Leroy. Don't worry about me, Uncle. Have a good time. Be a good boy if you can, but have a good time. And I think I'll be going. Oh, my goodness. Don't you look grand. Oh, you like it, Bertie? I sure do. I ain't seen you well in that suited years. Well, the occasion is not a risen, Bertie. It's a little formal. I didn't even know you could get into them clothes anymore. Not only got into them, but there's room to spare. Look. You must have shrunk. Yeah, weighed myself just before I came downstairs, Bertie, and I lost half a pound. What do you know, children? I'm going to finish 1944, a half-pound underweight. You'll make it up when you see the midnight supper I fixed for you, Miss Ransom. Shrimp cocktails, chicken, garlic, king, with peas and shoestring potatoes, fruit, salad, French pastry, and coffee. Oh, my goodness, Bertie. Is that your idea of an intimate little supper? Well, I fixed the supper, Mr. Gillsleeve. The rest is up to you. Well, that's about time. 11.30. Well, that's women for you. Oh, well. Just makes the evening. Men always look so handsome in evening clothes. Well, let me turn on a little light here. Ah, let me take... Lila. What have you done to yourself? You like it? Why, you're beautiful. Thank you. Your hair, you've done something to it. I'm wearing it a new way. Oh, pretty. You haven't mentioned my dress. I was almost afraid to. I declare you Yankees pay the prettiest compliments. Of course, you don't mean a word you say. Don't you believe it? Oh, almost forgot. Here, for you. For me, bonjour, flowers. Now, what could it possibly be? Why don't you open it? Oh, it's a corsage. Oh, Srockmont, this is too wonderful. Nothing cheap about gildersleaf. I know. I'm going to be old-fashioned and wear them right here. You need something there. Oh, this is going to be such fun. You don't know the half of it. The children are out, Bertie's out. We got the whole place to ourselves. Bertie left us a little supper. You know, intimate. Oh, Harold Mayne. What do you say we eat it right now? I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Oh, not yet, Srockmont. But I'm starved. I went easy on dinner, so I'd be able to handle it. All we have to do is warm it up. Oh, not before midnight, Srockmont, and that would spoil it. All right, 12 o'clock then. Well, shall we go in the living room then? Let's. Ladies first. Oh, you've still got your tree up, I'm so glad. Well, the children hate to let it go. I know. Let's turn on the tree lights and turn at all the others. It's more romantic that way, don't you think? Yeah, and more fun too. Oh, it's like fairy lines. Makes me feel like a child again. Me too. Let's just sit here hand in hand and look at it for a while, shall we? Okay. I said hand in hand. Sorry, Leela. You know, I thought you'd never get here, Leela. 11.30, just sitting here in my dress suit. I balanced my whole checkbook. Oh, well, I'm sorry if I kept you waiting, Srockmont, but I thought you'd want me to be pretty for you tonight. Yeah, that's all right. I guess you had a lot to do. Besides, down home things never really got started before midnight New Year's Eve. Just think, a year ago at this time I was in Savannah, visiting. Two years ago, you were right here. So I was. And three years ago, three years ago, I didn't even know you, Srockmont. Thank goodness. Tempest Fugits? I was all so shocked. We met. We went gauged. And your husband turned out? Mmm. Oh, Beauregard. It was such a shock, I have to believe, and he was dead all those years. And then to have him go the way he did, kick bomb you. Yeah, I know. I'll never know which was the greatest shock, his coming or his going. After that, what happened to us, Srockmont? I don't know, Leela. We just drifted apart, I guess. You went in the morning, and I buried myself in my work. You went chasing after Eve Goodwin? No, Leela. There was never anything like that. I liked the Eve, and I admired her. I still do. But we were never right for each other. We found that out. You're the girl from E. Leela. You mean that? I was crazy not to know it all along. Oh, then what about this Miss Del Ray? Delores, is that her name? Oh, nothing in that either, Leela. Never was. No, that was strictly Judge Hooker's mistake. Well, I'm glad to hear you say that, Srockmont. Yeah, forget Delores, I have. Let's just talk about you. Oh, let's. Let's talk about the first time we met. Hey, it's getting on toward midnight. How about eating now? We got shrimp cocktail, chicken... Oh! Not yet, Srockmont. Not till 12 o'clock. All right, 12 o'clock. What'll we do till then? In the south, Mr. Gildersleeve, a man doesn't have to be told what to do on New Year's Eve. Yeah. Shove over. You're so sudden. Well, gosh, I thought you said, I mean, huh? Let's just hold hands for a while, shall we? Well, that's where we started. We aren't getting anywhere. Silly. Lean back and put your head on my shoulder. I remember the first time I met you, Srockmont. It was during a blackout. By the time we had another. I came to the door and there you stood, so high and slim in your helmet and your flashlight. My gallant air raid warden, and the next day you came back and there wasn't any blackout, remember? Uh-huh. Why did you come back the second day, Srockmont? Because I was full of the old nick here. That was the first time I ever heard you sing. Would you do a thing for me, Srockmont? Would you sing for me again just the way you did then? Well, sing at New Year's Eve if you'll play. Of course I'll play. You know, you rarely ought to have this pan of tune sometimes, Srockmont. Tune? Why, Lila, that's a wimbley. It is. Now sing pretty. Speak to me of love and say what I'm longing to hear. Tender words of love. Repeat them again. Whisper these words. From last year. Have another pastry, Lila. Can't let them go to waste. Oh, I couldn't possibly. Well, I might just take care of one more. Another eggnog? Wonderful, you understand me. Old family recipe. Oh, honestly, Srockmont, now I haven't had such fun since Mardi Gras. Since what? Since Mardi Gras. Haven't you ever been to Mardi Gras and you all in? Never been South of Youngstown. Oh, oh, you'd love it. And if you ever go, you must look up my cousin Tupper halfway. He belongs to all the clubs. He knows just everybody. Oh, cousin Tupper? Well, I'll make a note of that. Oh, you'd love Mardi Gras, Srockmont. It's so gay. All they do is have banquets and dines in the streets and blow horns and make love to strange girls. Oh, that sounds great. They all wear masks, you understand, so nobody can prove anything. Well, not a bad idea. I got a horn to wish I had a mask. Surely. Pretend you don't know me, Lila, and I'll give you a big kiss. Oh, it's Srockmont. I'm trying to tell you about Mardi Gras. I'm listening. Go ahead. They wear masks. Those are the mummers. That's what they call them. Mummers, eh? Honey, shall I come kiss you, the old mummer? Oh, I declare you'd be a riot, New Orleans. I'm a riot right here in Summerfield, yeah. Oh, it's such fun down there, Srockmont. Everybody is everybody's friend. That's so wonderful about it. Great. You run into a perfect stranger on the street and you invite him right into your house for an eggnog or whatever. It's perfect. Oh, that's what I miss about the South. That friendliness, that gaudy and hospitality. Listen, we can be just as friendly and hospitable right here in Summerfield as any place in the South. Oh, but people never do. That's a challenge. Come on, Leela. Where are you going? Get your coat on. We're going out and get hospitable. We'll whoop it up. We'll blow horns and ring bells. You're not serious. I mean it. Grab your coat there, Leela. We'll wish everybody a happy New Year. We see any strangers. We'll invite them in for an eggnog. If we run into any girls, they better look out. Srockmont, what's got into you? Mardi Gras, the spirit of carnival. That's me. Yippee! Come on, Leela. You get to kiss all the men and I get to kiss all the girls. Woo-hoo! Don't hang back now, Leela. Come on. I'll show you how we do it in the old suit. Be here, everybody. Happy! What a town. Try to make merry and there's not a soul in sight. Oh, wait a minute. There's somebody. Where? Coming up the block. Hail to the blight spirit. Good evening. Srockmont, it's nobody we know. Who cares? Hail, friend. Which tarry within these humble portals and exchange the greetings of the season and perchance per take of a tanker to eggnog. Woods. Find somebody up. Maybe you could help me. Gladly, brother. Gladly. Step right in. Welcome to Liberty Hall. Oh, what a day. I'm telling you, since nine o'clock this morning and I still got one more to deliver. Brother, consider your last delivery mate. Fight out upon him or it's the season of feasting in good cheer, Regad. Huh? Have an eggnog. Well, thanks. I don't care if I do. I don't know who you are, but Gersh is my name. I'm... Brother, we care not who you are or whence you came. You're welcome here. Well, gosh, thanks. I didn't get the name. I am the king of the carnival. This is my attendant nymph, the fair Lila. Lila? Meet Mr. Gutsch and Gersh. How do you do? You mustn't mind Mr. Gildersleeve. He's just, you know it's New Year's. Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. Gildersleeve, did you say? Yeah, that's right. Throckmorton Pea? Oh, the very same. Well, well, here's a paper for you. Oh, what's this? Notice of civil action in the case of Delores Del Ray versus Throckmorton Pea Gildersleeve. Oh! Preach of promise looks like Happy New Year. Happy New Year, here. Give me back that eggnog, brother. Listen, everybody. Your army needs nurses. And nurses, and they need them badly. Thousands of wounded men are being returned to this country every day. And in order to take care of them, the army needs 10,000 registered nurses at once. If any of you listening happen to be nurses, or if you know any, pass the word along. The army nurse is the heroine of our armed forces. Our wounded fighting men look to her for help. The best doctors in the country already in the army. And the army nurses working with them are handling new drugs, applying new treatments, and gaining experience years ahead of their civilian opportunities. Nurses go into the army as second lieutenants with pay equivalent to $226 a month. They're also eligible for veterans' benefits. Any nurse can now get reclassified for military service. For information, you may either contact your local Red Cross or send a wire collect to the Surgeon General, United States Army, Washington, D.C. If you've been thinking about this, but putting it off, do it now, please. Because now is when the army needs you. Good night, everybody. Music on this program was directed by Claude Sweet. This is Ken Carpenter, speaking for the Crab Seas Company, makers of Parque Marchand and a complete line of famous quality food products. Pass and buy to listen again next week for the further adventures of The Great Yielders League. Having a package of delicious golden Pabstette cheese food in the refrigerator easily solves the problem of how to entertain in a hurry. Pabstette, you see, is the cheese food of a hundred different uses. It spreads, melts, slices, also toasts to perfection. So there's really no end to the many grand ways you can serve Pabstette. 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