 The Jack Benny program presented by lucky strike Lucky strike first again with tobacco man First again with tobacco, man More independent tobacco experts smoke lucky strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined There you have the findings of a recent impartial survey which reveals the personal smoking preference of tobacco men, auctioneers, buyers and warehousemen. Yes, the survey shows lucky strike. First again with tobacco men. First again with tobacco men. First again with the men who can see the makers of lucky strike. Consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. So light up a lucky, puff by puff you'll see. LSMFT, LSMFT. Lucky strike means fine tobacco, and in a cigarette it's the tobacco that counts. So for your own real, deep down smoking enjoyment, smokeless smoke, tobacco expert smoke. Lucky strike. First again with tobacco men. Lucky strike. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Belly with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day and yours truly Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Benny and his gang are appearing this week at the Palace Theater here in Cleveland. Right now, Jack is in his dressing room and Rochester is helping him make up for the next stage show. Let's look in on them. Rochester, how long do you ouch? How long do you think it'll ouch be before ouch? ouch? Boss, hold still or you'll knock the tweezers out of my hand. All right, but try to go ouch. It's your own fault, boss. If you'd buy a razor blade, I wouldn't have to pluck out your whisker. I can't get this close of shade with a razor. Okay, I'm through now. Good. I have to go on the stage again in a half hour. See, I'm glad business is so good. It was swell in Detroit too. What was the total receipt of the box office in Detroit, Rochester? We took in $93,267.43 and a Hoover button. A Hoover button? Who put that in? Hoover. Hoover? Yeah, he ain't worked in 16 years. Rochester, I'd like to... Oh, say, boss, you better give me a little more petty cash. I had to pay the cleaners $3.50. Oh, I didn't even know my stuff came back from the cleaners. Where is it? Well, I folded your slacks and put them in the trunk. I brushed your coat and put it in the closet, and I parked your hair and put it in the drawer. Oh, is that my hair? I've been throwing at breadcrumbs all morning. I got to put a little more mascara on the eyes. Thank you, Rochester. You know, during our last show yesterday, when the spotlight was shining on me, I heard a woman in the second row turn to her friend and say, oh, Mildred, don't his eyes look like twilight on the blue waters of Lake Erie? I'm gonna play, my boss. Your eyes are really beautiful. I know. It's a shame... It's a shame you have to blink and close them every once in a while. Yes, especially here in Cleveland, there's so many people who paid to see him, you know. Anyway, you better finish the... Come in. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Some coffee and sandwiches. Thanks, Mary. What are you laughing at? Well, you'll find it out soon enough, so I may as well tell you. You know that big life-size picture of you out in front of the theater? Yes. Well, some kid with a crayon drew a mustache, whiskers, and long curls on it. No. Yes. You look like a Cocker Spaniel with padded shoulders. Oh, that's terrible. A thing like that can hurt business, you know. They're on a percentage, too. Oh, calm down, Jack. You weren't mad in Detroit when someone touched up your picture in front of the Fox Theater. Well, that was different. I'll say it was. They painted a fan in each hand and you broke the box office record. Yeah, that picture even fooled me twice. I bought tickets myself. Oh, by the way, boys, I've been meaning to ask you, do you want me to go out and buy you a pair of those elevator shoes? What for? Well, when you do your love scenes on the stage with Miss Marilyn Maxwell, she's taller than you are. Oh, well, that doesn't bother me. Well, it should. I caught the show from out front and you certainly couldn't approve that love scene you do with Marilyn. What do you mean? Well, when you kiss her, you're supposed to put your arms around her and tenderly draw her up close to you. Huh? You're not supposed to grab her by the earlobes and pull yourself up. Earlobes, earlobes. Why don't you stop making things up? I'm finished with your face, boss. Here's the mirror so you can see how you look. Well, say, you did a wonderful job, Rochester. See, there's an even a trace of a wrinkle. Would you use a new wrinkle cream? No, putty. Putty? Mary, what's so funny? Before a man can make up your face, he has to join the Plasters Union. Look, Mary, I'm nervous enough as it is without you coming in here. Oh, my goodness, everything happens at once. There's the door and there's the phone in the other room. I'll get the phone. I'll answer the door. How do you do? My name is Mink. I'm the manager of this theater. Oh, won't you come in, Mr. Mink? Thank you. You know, you look very familiar. It seems that I know you. Well, you should. I used to be in Vaudeville, too. You and I were on the same bill together in Sandusky. Say, that's right. In 19, 1928, I'll never forget it. You were celebrating your 39th birthday. No, no, no, I wasn't 39 years old. See, I threw that party to celebrate what a sensation I was that week. We took in $39. $39. Yeah. Oh, that's all right. That's a good luck. We may have a party here. Yeah, it was good luck. You'll be here on time. Right. Mr. Mink, I do remember you as I do remember you as a vaudeville actor. How come you gave it up? Well, I just played it smart. I saw my act was falling apart. I was getting old. I was washed up. So I quit and became a theater manager. Gee, I wonder if no, no. What is it, Mr. Benny? Well, I thought maybe if you spoke to someone of the theater owners, you could know why. Why should I do anything for Fred Allen? I mean, anyway, thanks for dropping in, Mr. Mink. You're quite welcome. It was nice seeing you again. Oh, by the way, when I'm working on the stage, I wish you turned the microphone up a little higher. People can't hear me beyond the third row. Oh, well, as soon as we get people beyond the third row, I will. My sister, Babe, calling from Plainfield. Oh, your sister, Babe. Yes, and she has a wonderful news. She thinks she's engaged. Babe, think she's engaged? I mean, doesn't she know? Well, she's not sure. Her boyfriend got down on one knee, but just as he started to speak the battery and her hearing aid went dead. Is there any other news from home? Yes, they told me that she was. I'll see who's at the door, Rochester. Yes, sir. More excitement in here. Is Mr. Benny in Rochester? Yeah, come right in. Oh, boss, it's Miss Maxwell. Hello, Marilyn. Come on in. Sit down. Well, thank you. Hello, Mary. Hello, Marilyn. Look, Jack, I don't like disturbing you in your dressing room, but I had something I wanted to talk to you about. Oh, that's quite all right. What? Hey, Marilyn, how come you're wearing your hair down like that? To cover my earlobes. They're six inches long now. Well, they were certainly pretty when we started. But, Marilyn, I do want to thank you for your cooperation during this tour. You're really lending a touch of beauty to our board of engagement. Well, thank you, Jack. Well, Jack's right, Marilyn. I caught the first show at the palace, and you certainly look beautiful in that black gown. Oh, you mean that strapless one? Yes, it's really gorgeous. That's right, Marilyn. And all week long, I've maybe asked you something about that strapless gown. What keeps it up? The Cleveland Sensor. Oh, oh. You must have brought your old writer with you, I think. Now, Mary, what number are you going to sing in the next show? Hooray for love. Oh, that's a new one. Yeah. Yes, Mary, would you like to hear? I certainly would. Well, all right, here goes. Oh, just a minute, Marilyn. Come in. Mr. Benny. Yes, who are you? I'm a hard courier. I brought you some more makeup. Oh, good. Just dump it in the corner. Go ahead, Marilyn. Let's have your song. Some siren, all but in Perry, they die for love. Some waste away for love. Just the same parade. The wonder of the world. The rocket to the moon. It gets you low. The ones you get that glow. The brains for love are the fellas miss their trains for love. Screen stars, emotes for love. Even politicians vote for love. Lovers disconnect their phones for love. Some break the rules for love. Just the same. The audience will like it. Well, thanks, Jack. By the way, I haven't seen Dennis around all week. Where is he? Dennis Day? Well, Dennis isn't here. You see, when we went to the railroad station in Detroit, he got mixed up and took the wrong train. But where is he now? Well, if the Republicans can't decide on anybody, he may be our next president. Anyway, we'll, we'll probably, oh, hello, Phil. Hi, Jackson. Hello, girls. Hello, Phil. Hello, Phil. Well, two new looks with one old snook. Phil, don't be so smart. Hey, Jackson, this dressing room you've got here is wonderful. Mine ain't got nothing in it. Well, Phil, if there's anything you need, just take it out of here. Okay, I'll take this. Put that down. That's rubbing alcohol. No, there's no telling what that'll do to your stomach. Well, let's find out. It's too late. The bottle's empty. Well, teach his own. Imagine anybody. Now look, Phil, turn around your breath is scorching my soup. You know, Jack, I think Phil ought to watch himself a little bit, especially here in Cleveland. After all, Cleveland is Bob Hope's hometown. Mary's right, Phil. You know, the people in Cleveland think so much of Bob Hope that I'm surprised we even got in here. No kidding, Jackson. They really think that much of Hope here. Do you know those white lines that run down the middle of the street? Yeah. Pepsidon. They put an arm with a toothbrush yet. Look, Jackson, this might be Bob Hope's hometown, but I heard you played here long before Hope even thought of being a comedian. I didn't know that, Jack. When did you play here before? Oh, I don't remember. It was a long time ago. Phil, how long ago was it? I don't know, but when Jack was here, the Cleveland Indians were scalping people in the Carter Hotel with a wig, Wong. Okay, Wong. Okay. Hey, look, look what time it is. Hey, Marilyn, you better get ready for the next show. All right, Jack, say Marilyn, I noticed during the first show you wore those lovely long false eyelashes, but during the second show you didn't have them on. Well, Jack told me he was the star and made me give them to him. Oh, for heaven's sake. Jack, come here a minute. Okay. Bend your head down. Like this? Yes. Here, Marilyn. Come on, let's go to your dressing room. Oh, well, I didn't look good in them anyway. Say, Rochester, how's the house out there for the next show? Is it packed? Yeah, very good, boss. Very good. That's fine. You know, Rochester, I'm doing everything to try and set a new box office record. I know, boss, but didn't you go a little too far when you made the ushers buy tickets? Well, if the orchestra boys aren't complaining, why should they? By the way, how are we doing on the popcorn? Not so good since you substituted chicken fat for butter. Yeah, I never thought they noticed it. Well, Rochester, I'm kind of hungry. Open those sandwiches. And will you please get me a glass of milk? Yes, sir. Phil, what do you have? My carbonate of soda. My carbonate of soda. Yeah, something happened to my stomach when you mentioned milk. Oh, yes, I'm sorry, Phil, forgive me. Look, I'm I'm going in the other room and lie down for a while. Okay, Phil, but take off your shoes if you're going to. I don't. Now, who can that be? Come in. Pardon me for disturbing you, Mr. Benny, but may I have your autograph? Certainly, certainly. Who shall I make it out to? Bob Feller. Bob Feller! Certainly a pleasure having you drop in to see me. Well, Jack, when I saw your name in front of the theater, I just couldn't walk right on by like everybody else. Oh, you mean you bought a ticket and saw my stage, so? I sure did, Jack. I thought you saw me. When you took a bow, you know, you knocked a bag of popcorn out of my hand with your eyelashes. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, let me wipe the chicken fat off your sleeve. Well, Bob, you're still with the Cleveland Indians, aren't you? Yes, this is my 12th season, Jack. And you're a pitcher, isn't that right? That's what it says in my book. You wrote a book, didn't you? How to become a picture? I read it. You know, maybe I should. No. Not after that game today. That's pretty good. You must have brought your own writer, too. Hey, Jack, how do you expect anybody to get any sleep around here? Oh, Phil, come on in. I want you to meet Bob Feller, pitcher for the Cleveland Indians. Oh, hiya, Bob. Hiya, Phil. Say, Phil, you're a pitcher, too, aren't you? Me a pitcher? No, I'm a musician. Didn't you see me leading the band? Oh, is that what you were doing? Certainly. Gee, I wish I could do that. Why? With a wind up like that, they'd be no one that could hold me. You're not kidding. And say, Bob, I meant to tell you, I like that nice stadium you have here in Cleveland. Have you seen it, Phil? Yeah, it's wonderful ballparking right on the edge of Lake Erie. I saw a game the other day and... Hey, wait a minute. I just thought of something. The other day when you were playing Boston, you only had eight men. Oh, no, no, we had nine. No, no. I counted everyone on the diamond and there were only eight. Oh, you could only see eight. When Ted Williams is up, we put the left feeler in a canoe. I need you to ask questions. Now, don't... Well, Jack, Jack... I'm here, Don. Jack, I've got the quartet with me and don't you think about it again? Wait a minute, Don. First, I want you to meet Bob Feller. Hello, Don. Well, I'm certainly glad to know you, Bob. And I'm particularly glad you're here because the quartet's going to do a number dedicated to the Cleveland Indians. Say, that'll be swell. And Don. Hey, wait a minute, Don. Why is your coat so wrinkled? Well, I was at the ballgame Friday night. It rained and they used my coat to cover the infield. Oh, yes. I read about that. One of the ground crew got lost in your pocket. Well, Don, where's the quartet for the commercial? In my other pocket. Oh. Well, bring them out. Oh, hello, fellas. Don't mind that, Bob. I have to pay them extra if they talk, you know. All right, sportsman, we haven't got much time, so let's hear the number. Okay. Hit it, boys. Me out to the ballgame. Take me out with the crowd. Buy me a package of lucky strikes. That's the cigarette everyone likes. So let's pop, pop, pop on a lucky. Just remember the name. One, two, three lucky strikes at the old ballgame. Take me out to the ballgame. Take me out with the crowd. Young Bobby Feller, he pitched today. They made two homeruns, but he won anyway. So let's run, run, run for a lucky. When they're put out, it's a shame. One, two, three lucky strikes at the old ballgame. Wait a minute, boys. Wait a minute. Boys, don't dance. Boys, stop dancing. Wait a minute, Feller. Wait a minute, boys. Wait a minute. Wait! Harris in front of Bob Feller. Why is it every time we... Oh, Jack, Maryl and I would like to know. Oh, come on, girls. I want you to meet Bob Feller. Bob, I want you to meet Bob. Bob, why are you staring at the girls like that? I thought I could have beaten Boston. Very good, Bob. Very good. Bob, this is Mary Livingston and this is Marilyn Maxwell. Hello, Bob. Hello, St. Mary. Yes, Bob. I feel as though I know you because I met your mother about two years ago. My mother, really? Yeah, she pitched against me in Plainfield. That's funny. I thought she was in a national league. You're both wrong. Her arm went bad. She's wrestling now. All right. Well, Bob will be going on stage in a few minutes. Why don't you wait until after the next show and we'll all go out to dinner? I'd love to, Jack. Do you mind if I call my wife? Not at all. Which reminds me, Jack, you'll know my wife. She comes from Warkeegan. She does? I didn't know you married a girl from Warkeegan. Oh, sure. Her name was Smith Winther. Winther. Winther. Oh, I not only know her, I used to take her out, Marcella Winther. No, no. That's her mother. My wife's name is Virginia. Let me see. Her mother. But it can't be. I remember carrying her books to school. She had long-blown curls. Yes, with a little freckle on her right cheek. Yes. Well, that was her father. Bob, I'd like to ask you a question. Isn't there some guy from radio and movies, some fella that's part owner of the Cleveland Indians? Yes, there is. Well, you know, I own the Warkeegan Bloomer Girls. And I was just wondering, Ladies and gentlemen, this is Bob back in his hometown of Cleveland to watch the Indians play hope. Telling you all, if you use pepsilin like the baseball players do, you will be keeping Bob, fella. I didn't say hello to me or something. Please, please. Here I am. I saw both games today. What a team here. You know, they don't have big league baseball in Hollywood, and I'll tell you why. It's tough sliding in a second base with a bare midriff. Wow, this happens to be my program. Nothing for the tailor, please. The cinch will be cut off the air today. Oh, but it's great being home again. All my relatives met me at the station yesterday, and I was really touched. I have a lot of relatives here in Ohio. I have one brother doing fine in Canton, another doing five at Columbus. Please, who is this? A house detective, please. You know, you might as well quit. You're not getting paid for this, you know. Don't ruin our finished gag. Will you please? But my relatives met me yesterday morning with a big brass band. That is, I thought it was a big brass band. It was a big brass band at the Lincoln Convention. And it was different when I lived here years ago. This time the cops drove me from the station. Of course, the city has changed quite a bit. I can remember a lot of little things about this town. I can't seem to get them on the phone, though. I might as well go home. Come on. What is that? Something left over from the Eagles Convention? What is it? I went out to my old grammar school yesterday, Fairmont Junior High, and there was the same old desk, the same old inkwell, same old shaving kit. I want to tell you it was thrilling. I brought it back. I'll never forget second grade where I met my first girl. She was seven, I was 18. And I was so proud. I'm my guest to have a plaque that says, Bob Hope slept here. And I went back and saw the house where I used to live. Boy, what a tough neighborhood. It was so tough the freight trains used to tiptoe past. But it was wonderful. I'll never forget when I left home to go on the road. Father said I would go a long way. In fact, he nailed the door of the buck's box cop. He did. Yes, he did. I know we have to make a joke. We know the joke. That's why you could have come in, you know. What are you doing here? I'm getting laughs. What are you doing here? Hey, Bob, here's one of your boys, Bob Feller. One of our boys. That's an annuity, Jack, this boy. Hello, Bob. Hello, Bob. Two Bob's. That'll get you a warm beer in England. Thanks for letting me have that one joke. I have a line you gave me which is no good. It didn't get you anything here, which you got a lot of. Let me ask you something. What are you really doing here in Cleveland? I came here to watch out for my interest. I found out you were playing here, and this is my hometown, you know. Well, what about it? How much money have you taken into the Palestine already? So far, about $34,000. Give me half or I'll sue you. I don't muscle in the Warkegon, you know. What do you tell... I'm playing this whole circuit. Last week in Detroit, I took a 93,267 dollars and 43 cents. And a Hoover button. How do you know? I've got a lot of buttons to see you. You know, Bob, you're cheaper than Fred Allen, and he's almost as cheap as I am. I'm telling you. And Crosby's cheaper than all of us. Lucky Strike. First again with Tobacco Man. First again with Tobacco Man. As a recent impartial survey reveals, more independent tobacco experts smoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined. More than the next two leading brands combined. Lucky Strike. First again with Tobacco Man. Yes, that's what the survey shows. Now listen to a statement recently made by Mr. James Alfred Walker, veteran tobacco buyer of Durham, North Carolina. From what he knows, from what he sees, listen to what he said. Season after season, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike by good ripe tobacco. Tobacco that makes a real fine smoke. I've smoked Lucky 17 years. So light up a Lucky. Puff by puff, you'll see. LSMFT, LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. So smoke the smoke, tobacco expert smoke. Lucky Strike. First again with Tobacco Man.