 there's one word that you need to really really understand and that word is non-negotiables so my question to you is what are your non-negotiables in your life see most people never pause to really ask themselves what do you care about in your life and listen we all at one point in our lives have dreams and aspirations you hear people talking about follow your you follow your bliss as Joseph Campbell likes to talk about or you know follow your passion etc but what's really more important as opposed to passion and bliss is non-negotiables that's way more important so what do I mean by non-negotiables is things that you care about and not just care about care is not a good word these are constitutional elements of your life do you ever pause and ask yourself what are what are what are the key things that you absolutely must have in your life and so when you look at your life whether you are you know working a job that you may not like or you may like whether you are trying to start a startup that you've been contemplating whether you've been contemplating to quit your job whether you've been contemplating to go into a relationship or the opposite contemplating whether to leave a relationship whatever your situation is you have a non-negotiable and so an exercise I like to do every six months or twice a year is writing down a list of key non-negotiables in your life it could be like you know I must earn x amount per year I must be loved I must have the opportunity to walk one hour a day I must be able to go to the gym you know it's not it's whatever you want it to be non-negotiables are whatever you want it to be and usually usually it's about like seven you don't want any more than seven you know you want to have seven key constitutional non-negotiables that you care about in your life and everything around these non-negotiables or let's call it the human the human sovereign constitution the constitutional doctrination of you as an individual so you take this constitutional doctrination that you've just created and then you want to map your life around that right whether that is like hey based on my constitution this is what my key values are and this is how i'm going to engineer my life around me and most people don't do this they don't do this whatsoever they live fucking passively and they take it as it comes they'll be at a job they fucking hate they don't want to quit they'll be in a relationship they're not being loved and they don't want to quit they're not making enough money in their life but yet they're comfortable they don't want to quit or the opposite they make enough money but it's too stressful they don't want to let it go they're trying to live for status but they don't want to let it go it's killing them inside egotistically speaking morally speaking spiritually speaking where they're attached to these let's say masks attached to these identities and so it's a really good exercise for you to do twice a year is really writing down and being honest with yourself of what these non-negotiables are and you get a lot of truth out of yourself extreme amount of truth you know maybe at one point you've really cared about making millions of dollars and you realize what the fuck at what cost right or maybe you come to a realization act hey you know this relationship isn't really what i thought it it is or what it could be so it's auditing yourself right it's being really really honest with yourself and auditing yourself of where i am where i want to go and what do i want because creating these constitutions yourself these non-negotiables is actually loving yourself right if you love yourself that's the most important thing in life most people most people they go through life without loving themselves they're looking for validation from others they're looking to make others happy they're looking to follow society's rules you're looking to follow religious rules you're looking to follow cultural rules they never ever pause and ask themselves what are your rules what makes you happy what turns you on what drives you as an individual and so these small exercises maybe at the beginning you do it more than twice a year you do it every quarter you do it four times a year the more times you audit yourself the more times you're honest with yourself the better it is for you to create a roadmap because what you want to do eventually is not break these rules it's a constitution right these are non-negotiables you don't negotiate this for anybody whatsoever right and so these are your guiding principles as Ray Dalio talks about by the way really good book to read and so these principles will guide you through life and you know you come to a scenario whether it's a new job or new startup or new relationship and once you have these principles in line in front of you and literally written down in front of you you can make the proper decision then and there you know you might come to a point well hey I found this new girl but you know you know her attitude is like this but she's beautiful no non-negotiables you're looking for love or you know it might be in a situation well like you know I'm going to start a startup but I'm afraid no you're non-negotiable is you will start a startup you care about being your own boss you care about creating your own rules and so that's the exercise I have for you today is creating these non-negotiables creating your own constitution all in your life and actually living life underneath your terms as opposed to other people's terms you don't want to blink the next thing you know it you're fucking 40 years old and like where the fuck did my life go where did it go where did it go I'm in a relationship I don't like or I'm in a job I fucking hate you don't want that you don't want to fucking be blended no I know way too many fucking people way too many people who are in this position 40s 50s whatever even fucking 30s man they blink like a mirror where the fuck did my life go listen bro there's no way to blame but blame yourself right body yourself create your rules love yourself before you love anybody always love yourself first right and go out there become your own movie director become your own writer of your own life and do your own thing I'll leave you guys at that peace