 The Quantum Healing with Candace. I'm your host, Candace Craw-Goldman. This program was created to assist humans in this rapidly changing world while it is expanding into new realms and new ways of thinking and being. And it is based on the foundation of the late, great Dolores Cannon's work and our continued contact with her from beyond the veil. So thank you, Dolores, for continuing to encourage us to explore new directions. Also, big thanks to Greg Prescott and Michelle Walling at N5D.com for making this show possible. Greg and Michelle, I love you more and more every day. I'd like to take a moment to thank all of the wonderful supporters of this show and those work and all of my N5D friends and my New Earth Journey friends, my Facebook friends, QHHT practitioners, and clients, and with humanity's new understanding and acceptance of the quantum world and the role that consciousness plays in shaping both our individuals. Alexa, stop. Our Alexa decided to start playing music there. We had to tell her to stop. We have plenty of subject material for this show. I'm a full-time practitioner of Dolores's hypnosis method and had the honor and privilege of working with and alongside of her for several years. You can find out more about my practice of quantum healing and my consulting and coaching services at NewEarthJourney.com. I'd like to mention that I'm offering my own new quantum healing process that's available remotely. Call or email me about how we can create your very own, personalized, and unique to you quantum healing meditation process. And lastly, before we get started tonight, for those of you looking for a practitioner of Dolores's method of quantum healing or for those of you who've trained with Dolores, in the past, you may find wonderful practitioners and resources for practitioners of all kinds at DoloresCanonQHT.com. This show supports those who are dedicated practitioners of Dolores Canon's method. Also, if you'd like to participate in the show tonight, please call in the US 646-716-8890. That number again, 646-716-8890. So tonight is March 18, 2016. And the topic of the show is when healers get sick. But before we start talking about all of that, I'd like to now welcome my dear friend and co-host, colleague, and fellow quantum healing practitioner, Mary M. Truett. Hi, Mary. Hi, Candice. How are you today? I am so much better. And it's no secret to many of you and my Facebook friends, I think, that one of the reasons we're doing this show is because I have been a little under the weather. Now, how about you? You've been very well this year, 2016? I have been. I'm a little bit scared to say it because I'm going to find some wood. I have been very well. Thank you. Well, that's really, really wonderful. So we're gathering today to talk about what it is that might be happening. A lot of people are talking about stargates and astral alignment and whether or not it's ascension symptoms or cosmic energies or what. There's all kinds of things that could be happening. We've had some people talk about psychic burnout in our community. And we really want to explore what's going on when healers face their own health challenges. And I wanted to start by kind of defining something that we all seem to talk about a little bit, and that's the wounded healer archetype. And this was developed by Carl Young who drew upon the myth of Chiron to explain the one who is wounded becomes capable of healing and helping others when he realizes that the wound he carries is universal. So this is a Greek myth. Chiron was the centaur who was half man and half horse. And the progeny of Zeus. And he was wounded by an arrow of Heracles bow. And since he was a god and immortal, he didn't die because of the arrow. But nonetheless, he was condemned to journey through the rest of his days in excruciating pain due to the severe woundedness. And so because he had no choice but to suffer the ache that now became part of his identity, he was resigned to living with this pain. And so it's this, this resignation, this acceptance that brought with it a sense of patience with the difficulty which resulted in a great ability to understand and connect and empathize with the path of others. So this pain, the experience of being wounded and having to deal with this misery became a doorway to intimacy with other people's pain. And it led to a deep compassion. And Mary, a lot of our fellow practitioners have come to this healing method through their own pain and challenges, haven't they? Absolutely. One of the things that, I don't know if you want me to start, but there's so much on this topic of the idea of the wounded healer. I'm also thinking of the Judeo-Christian religion in tradition in which Jacob wrestles with the angel and receives a wound on his hip. And the wrestling and the wound, actually, they changed his name to Israel, which I think means to wrestle with God. And this idea of the wound as the doorway, as you said, which is such a perfect symbol, or I often think of the threshold to some kind of transformation or understanding. And that ability to see that wound as both personal and universal is something that I see in almost not only every client who comes to see me, but also in other people who do this work. It seems to be almost an initiation. And often at a very young age, there's an initiatory wound that becomes a teacher. Yes. I think to so many of our amazing friends and colleagues who are carrying on Dolores's work, who had either a session or some sort of profound experience that brought them to this work. And now they've sort of found their path and they're helping others. Yeah. And I think it's all about how we view illness. And it's all about, I think, we're sort of laying the foundation here for our conversation. So I guess I will just begin by saying that I think that over the years, I've come to see illness as something very different from what I saw when I was a child, of course. So I mean, for our purposes, how would we define illness? Let's think about it, disease, illness. We can see it from so many different points of view. And I think it's either our teacher or it's our enemy. A lot of times when people get, especially in the Western tradition, it's as if you've been visited by some kind of evil spirit or devil. Like, why did I get sick? There's sort of this sort of surprise and guffaw, like, ooh, how could I have gotten that? And I think another approach, which is the one that we take, which is, how did I attract that to myself? How did I create that? And those two are very different points of view. And they really guide how we then address this particular dis-ease within our body. Do we treat this guest as an unwelcome guest or as someone that we invite to come in and talk to and listen to and learn from? Yes, and if you look at the word itself and many in our community put that hyphen in there, D-I-S-I-F-N-E-S, the dis-ease. What is it that is affecting your ease? And I think very often, how do you feel about this, Mary, when a lot of people talk about particular cancer and the ribbons and everything? And they keep talking about cancer and battling. They put up such a fight. They put up such a struggle, you know, the battle with cancer. And I've been gently saying to anybody who's open enough to hear it that cancer needs to be understood, not fought. You know, I think there, I completely agree with you. And I think that as I was reminded the other day of someone who's very close to me has a very serious autoimmune disease, which he deals with really pretty much on a daily basis. And he called me up the other day, you know, really struggling with feeling just terrible. And I said, oh, let's try this and let's try that. And both things were a little bit, you know, woo-woo, a little bit, you know, the way we see things. And he said, do you have any idea how irritating it is to hear that you want me to heal my soul and my spirit when I feel so sick I can hardly get out of bed? So I think we have to be very sort of careful about this. It's easy when we're sitting in a healthy body and we work in this world to give people advice about how they might wanna search, you know, their life and their psyche for kind of what might have created this. And so we have to be very careful, but at the same time, it's very important to also hold that space open for them that there's a possibility that there's another way to look at this aside from just I'm being attacked. Right, and it has to do with that paradox. And one of the teachers out there that I think talks about this in the best way is actually Daryl Anka who channels the shard. He talks about, you know, this paradox. He does it brilliantly about if, you know, you would prefer a different reality or you would prefer a different way of being. And one of the very first and best steps that you can take if you would prefer to be experiencing something different paradoxically is to absolutely accept exactly what's happening to you right now and not be in resistance. And that's hard for people, isn't it? Well, I think it's really hard because, you know, we might be able to, you know, with our mind say, okay, I get it, but then when your body is in pain and you feel nauseated and worn out and exhausted and you can't do anything, it's really hard to embrace that. You know, I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with people who work in healing arts, whether it's acupuncture or, you know, energy work or QHHT or whatever who are happy to sit in a great space with their clients saying, why don't we look at it this way or why don't we do this or try that? But then the minute it happens to them, the first part is they know all the stuff they're supposed to do. They know the approach they're supposed to have, but they're like, screw that. I just feel sick. I feel sorry for myself. And that's where, you know, this conversation that you wanted to have tonight to me is so spot on because it's really where the rubber meets the road. You know, when people who work in the healing arts themselves get sick. And that's when we're really, really tested. Because true, isn't it? And we embrace the advice that we give others. Can we say, oh, this is a lesson. This is something I created. You know, it's like, forget it. I'm taking a couple of Advil and I'm, you know, whatever, it's just, it can be very challenging. The thing that I find humorous and one of the main reasons why I really wanted to do this show is there seems to be a thing with healers. They don't want anyone to know. You know, if you want clients or you wanna talk to people about healing, there's some sort of idea that you should be healthy and perfect at all times. And I know that we have colleagues. Some of whom have the challenge of some very serious conditions. And we've spoken on Dolores's original support form. We've talked about some of this. Are they capable of helping others when they're having their own challenges like this? And I say, absolutely. I mean, do we, do you, does the public in general question the ability of a doctor when a medical, traditional medical doctor gets some sort of illness? I think that for some reason, and you know, you tell me, but for some reason, those in the alternative community, we tend to be more embarrassed or tend to wanna hide or tend to be questioned more about our own health than even those in the traditional medical profession when they have health challenges. And I'm wondering why is that? You know, it's interesting because as you were talking, I began to think about, you know, when we hear the news that somebody has cancer or somebody has come down with some illness, there is a moment, I think, as a society where we somewhat shun that person. And I'm not talking about me necessarily, but there's a moment of fear of going, wow, glad that's not me or wow, that's kind of gross or that's kind of, you know, there is that moment, it's shameful, it's a shameful thing. But we tend to isolate, you know, I've noticed over and over again that when someone in a smallish community comes down with really a life-threatening disease or a terminal disease, people are either deeply attracted to it and want to become the hero of helping them and making promises and making casseroles and doing all these things, almost magical thinking, like if I can help this person enough, you know, it won't happen to me. There's a kind of a helping, and then there are others who just shy away instantly, they just are out of fear. And so illness, I think, as something, as a phenomenon in our society, it's still very, you know, it's, there's a kind of a strange shunning of it. And I think that's reflected often in Western medicine where if you go to a regular Western doctor or to a hospital, the entire purpose behind most of the medicine is to just make the symptoms go away, so we don't have to think about it anymore. If you have a headache, take it, chill, if you have a, whatever you have, just make it go away. And you know, this brings me to the idea of curing versus healing because you can certainly cure many things. You can cure a headache by taking an Advil and you can cure, you know, rheumatism sometimes by making, you know, taking something that unswells the limb, but have you cured it on a sole level? You know, making the symptoms go away. We really have, I think a tendency as a society to just want things to go away, so we don't have to look at them anymore. And the whole purpose of true healing and the wound that we talked about, whether it's Jacob or Chiron, is to be able to sit with that wound and look at it and say, okay, this has happened to me. I'm gonna, I'm going to spend some time with this now. And as you said about cancer, to treat it as something that has to, have time spent with it. Okay, here you are. Come sit at the table, let's talk. And those are two very different paradigms in terms of looking at illness. They really are. You know, it's not in a two-distant past where people didn't talk about cancer. You know, it was like a hush-hush, a secret thing. So, you know, in some ways, we have grown and had some sort of acceptance, but yes, it's interesting, the dual reaction that people have to illness and to other challenges. And what, of course, we have begun to learn and Louise Hay, of course, is also, you know, must be mentioned here, is that when you consider whatever it is that you are being faced with, you get a lot of clues, right? Clues in the body, yeah. So, Louise Hay, for those of you who may not be aware, she was one of the pioneers of talking about the fact that the type of challenge, you know, the place in your body that you are finding difficulty with or, you know, uncomfortable feelings or pain or dis-ease can give you a clue to what might be going on. And it's a very good place to begin, but, you know, even from the get-go before, you know, even stating some examples, what I'd like to say is it's certainly not comprehensive and always the case. You know, for instance, they would say, or Louise might say, if you have something going on with your eyes, for example, you may not want to be looking at something, you may be closing your eyes to some sort of situation, you may not want to have an honest look about something that's going on with your life. So that is kind of a standard go-to first way of thinking about what's going on in your life and why you may be having that challenge. But I will never, ever forget, and I know my husband's listening to the show, so Tom, you were with me. Do you remember when we were in Dolores Cannon's class and she was regressing this young man who had, this was a time when she was still doing the live demonstrations in her class, and this young man had one eye that was a lazy eye. And I actually, here I'll admit it here on national radio, I actually have a lazy eye myself. It's not all the time, but I do have a lazy eye myself. So this was very interesting to me. And so if you were to look at this topic in that way, well, what is it that he doesn't want to look at? But what happened was he immediately went back into time, into a royal family, I believe it was Elizabeth's court or something, the royal family where he was. It was Queen Elizabeth. I was at that session when that happened. When he had his one eye, I was there. That's just so amazing. I remember that so well because what his issue with his eye, it didn't have anything to do with sort of this standard answer of there was something in his life he didn't want to look at. It literally was a past life carryover where he, do you remember what he said, slept with one eye open. I had to sleep with one eye open because he was scared of spies. He was a psychic who helped Queen Elizabeth and they began to, they wanted to kill him because he had too much power. And so he had to sleep with one eye open. And isn't that just amazing? And he'd always had a fondness and an attraction to that fine period in this lifetime. But I mentioned that just as an example of you can, when you're looking at your own challenge or a loved one's challenge or whatever, it's not a bad thing to sort of take the Louise Hay sort of look at something and begin to ask some questions about your life or whatever. But it's not for sure. You don't really know. And that's what we find out sometimes in our quantum healing sessions is we find out the exact reason for some of these things that may not be guessed at at the surface. But some of the, go ahead. Sorry, of course, Dolores did find that things that happen on the left side of the body happen are perhaps stemming from past lives or other lifetimes and things on the right side of the body have to do with this lifetime that we're in now. Do you know, Mary, when I first took Dolores's class in 2008, I remember saying this perhaps a little too loudly, but I remember actually when she said that in class, I turned to my seatmate and I said, that was worth the price of the class right there because my issues that I had had and that I had brought in hopes of healing, I'd even started to call it my left disease because everything was happening on my left, everything. It was all on the left side. That's interesting. It's really interesting. Yeah, I mean, I think the issue of the body, I mean, just to kind of go back to where we began in this conversation, I think the ownership of the body is just a fascinating part of our struggle as a human. I always, you know, I teach literature and one of the books that I love to teach is Kafka's Metamorphosis or Transformation because of course it's about a young man who wakes up one morning and he's a beetle instead of a human being and his struggles to try to make his body work while inside he's still the same profound person. He's totally human but he has this body that has all these needs and all these broken parts and all these funny little appetites that he has to serve and yet he's really cut off from it in some way because inside he's such a different person and I think each of us struggle with that at a certain point, especially when we go through adolescence and we really are aware of our body, we're so hyper aware of it, we begin to have to claim ownership of this strange body that does things we don't control, it grows hair in places, we might not have thought it was possible to grow hair, it kind of becomes an animal and I think if you're a woman especially, you have the privilege of going through so many seasons in your body, whether it's menstruation or pregnancy or pregnancy loss or breastfeeding or whatever, I always think it's a huge privilege to go through those things but what comes with it is, wow, a lot of relationship to body and I think the female and male experiences are very different in that but I think we all come to that and illness and disease create almost a third part of that so you have your mind, spirit, heart and then you have the body and then you have this other visitor that can show up and create a communication between your spirit and your body, right? It forces you to have a conversation with your body. You know, those are such really, really great thoughts and I love the vision of you standing in front of your students talking about Kafka, just thank you for that, that was a gift, I love it. You know, one of the things that I talk to my clients about is the idea of your body, you know, possibly thinking of your body as a partner. A lot of people are so angry at their bodies because they're not healthy and they're not vibrant and they aren't doing what they want so some of their internal dialogue is a constant battle with their body and sometimes when I hear people talk about this I look at them and especially if I've found that they have children or pets and pets especially because pets seem to be very, very innocent usually in people's lives and what I'll say is I'll say would you ever talk to your dog like that if it was sick or your cat or your horse or whatever and they get this look on their face and they say no, why would I ever do that to this innocent animal and I give them the idea to consider perhaps that their body is much like that that it's this other thing, you know that their spirit is in partnership or is inhabiting the body but it's not you, it's not who you are and if you are especially with your internal dialogue constantly fretting and being angry and upset and negative about what's going on well, does that encourage health and healing and balance and ease? Yeah, not so much, right? Right. One of the things is learning to be kind to your body as it serves your heart and mind and spirit. You know, one of the things I think about a lot and you know going back to the topic of the idea that when the healers get sick is about, God, 15 years ago I was just exhausted and burnt out and you know I have five children and it's kind of a lot of children to have actually I think I don't know how many children everybody else has but you know you can kind of as a mother get a little bit burnt out sometimes and I at one point a wonderful friend of mine gave me a present which was to go to a retreat for four nights up at Carpalu and Stockbridge and it's a wonderful place and I'd never been there before and I went there for four nights and I basically dragged myself across the threshold and collapsed in my bedroom and threw myself at the mercy of all the healers there and one of the people there who did massage said you know what's going on with you and I said I feel as if I'm a tube of toothpaste and it's just squeezed out every last little tiny drop and there's nothing left for me and she kind of laughed which is a great response of course and she said oh just get up on the table and you know she did this amazing thing which was she went through each of my chakras and at one point when she got to my heart I felt as if she literally put her hand into my chest her hand was above my chest but energetically she began to do a kind of a whirlpool around my heart and I felt it begin to spin it felt like a big warm soup and she said do you feel that and I said yeah I do you know it's this warm kind of soupy feeling and she said that is your heart energy and she said you are giving it to everybody you're just giving it and giving it and I said well yeah I'm exhausted I told you I was toothpaste flat you know gone and she said no no you have to begin to think differently as someone who works in this kind of work you have to think differently and she said you see how I'm going in a circle and she said giving is always a circle because you have to pause at the moment that you're giving and pause for the moment when it's returned to you and she said all healing and all work like that is a circuit and as you give you wait for the pause and they will reflect that energy back to you and you receive it as you go and honestly I think that that advice has helped me as someone who works in healing arts more than anything else because you can pause for that moment and let it come back and you don't have to be a tube of toothpaste does that make sense? That's beautiful that's really brilliant and as you're speaking it it reminds me again you know we're so lucky to have the forum that we have to be able to have these deep conversations with other healers about what happens in these sessions and one of the things that I was thinking about as you were saying that was how often we tend to have groups of clients come in clusters with some of the same issues and or how often the people who come to us have some of the same challenges or concerns that we have ourselves and how energetically we kind of connect up like that and that makes a great connection with the point that you just made. Yeah I absolutely agree with you I think you know we often talk on the forum and amongst ourselves about how certain clients go to certain practitioners and that's the absolutely perfect place for them to be but what we, another layer to the conversation is that the clients that come to us are coming for them but just as equally they're coming to reflect to us some kind of lesson for us and if we can receive that lesson then the circuit is really working synchronistically. You know I tend to have lots of dreams about and thoughts, internal thoughts and conversations with Dolores and one of the words that keeps coming up as I think about her and I dream about her and you know as we continue this work is the word reciprocal and there's something very reciprocal about this work and something about the fact that when you are sitting next to somebody and they are in that deep trance state and you are holding that space and sometimes participating you know on the edges and you know and sometimes more than the edges there is this reciprocal thing that happens and something about the connection and the circuits like I love that I haven't used the word circuit before but I think I will now after talking with you Mary you know something about that circuit connection is not only helpful for the client but helpful for us and the latest information I've got from Dolores herself is this actually helps humanity. Tell us more about that. Gosh oh my gosh you know I'm not really sure I every time I get a little piece of this sort of information do you remember Dolores saying this because I think about it all the time? Do you remember her saying that they and she always said they with the little quotes with their fingers in the air. She said they always gave her information a little bit at a time and spoonful by spoonful and the last sort of communication that I have felt that I've gotten from Dolores and believe me I question myself all the time is this my imagination or is it really her and I'm very neutral sometimes it's like oh of course that's her sometimes it's like oh of course that's my imagination so I'm right on the line there but the last little bit of information I've gotten from her I can see her sort of grinning and looking out of the side of her eyes with her fingertips together you know that gesture that she had with her fingertips together and looking at me and nodding and saying I'm just giving you spoonfuls I'm just giving you spoonfuls I'm just giving you spoonfuls is cute you know. You know actually one of the things that I wanted to mention as we were you know going into tonight's show and I was gathering my information would you mind Mary I would like to mention this blog that was written by one of our colleagues Elini Mandani who actually lives in the UK and she's written our most recent blog on our public site which is Dolorescanonqht.com so the listeners you might want to go over there and read some of the blogs over there and Mary's written at least one or two over there but this is such an amazing story by Elini and are you familiar with this? Had you read this one or were you aware of this one Mary? I'm not sure which one you mean. Well so I'm just going to kind of look at I haven't written in front of me and I'm not sure I'm going to read it completely but so she has this experience with a client and this happened where and what I want to mention by the way is that this was Elini's fourth session, fourth. One, two, three, four. So she wasn't a greatly experienced practitioner but she had had her fourth session and she had this client who was a friend of hers and Elini had been experiencing some allergy problem herself and she'd been having some testing done and when they went into the session, Elini and her friend, the friend was very generous and very sweet and said you know if we get to the healing part let's see if we can't get healing for you and your allergies and Elini was very sweet and said well you know if there's time or if it's okay, et cetera, et cetera. She was very concerned about her client getting the best experience but the client had an excellent session, opened her heart, found that her body was healing, et cetera and there was a little bit of time left so Elini asked permission during this session with her friend if it was possible to heal her and her allergies and she had just had, you know I don't know if you've ever had this done, Mary, but she had or known anybody but she had all those pin tricks on her back like many, many pin tricks on her and she had, she reacted to every one of them, every single one and they were all quite concerned about that and so in the session, the higher self said that they would absolutely heal her meaning the facilitator, Elini and she could feel energy in the room and she felt it go through her body and they encouraged her to touch her again and after a short silence, it said, meaning the higher self through the client is gone and the client, her friend was deep in her hypnosis and didn't remember anything when it was all over and what was very, very interesting was that Elini found out that the reason that she had this allergy problem is that she needed to make a change, she needed to change direction in her career and move into this world of healing and when she went to the hospital then very next morning she goes back to the hospital because her back was a mess with all these allergic reactions and they couldn't find anything, her back was completely clear, completely gone she actually even had shingles in her neck and they were gone, everything was gone because Elini, the practitioner, had received the message that she was supposed to have a direction change in her life and so this is this idea of reciprocal healing and I just find that amazing. Yeah, I like that a lot. I mean, that's an amazing story and I love it that it was just her fourth session. Nice. I mean, it's just, it happens exactly when it's supposed to. You know, it was funny, I had a really funny session the other day, somebody was, oh my gosh, where were we? We were, all right, this is gonna sound crazy to people of course who are just tuning in and don't know that much about QHHT but we had gone to Orion. My client was a volunteer, what we call in the Dolores work a first wave volunteer and as so many clients who come to us are, she was exhausted, didn't especially wanna keep living. I miss my home planet. I don't know what home is but I know it's somewhere that isn't here and so we asked, I don't know how weird you want me to get. We went on a spaceship. I said to the two funny little grays that were working with her, she wants to go home. She doesn't wanna just be experimented on and talk to you today. She wants to go home. She needs to see her home planet. Please take us there and these two little funny grays who were actually flesh colored, not the typical gray look but flesh colored said, we're not allowed to take her home and I said, oh yes you are. We wanna go home right now. And so they took her and they took her to Orion and there we met her actual mother in that lifetime she had been a girl who had come down here to help the planet. And we also met one of her spirit guides and I said, well can you do some healing on her because she's very tired and she needs her chakras cleared and blah, blah, blah. You know, you can imagine what I said. So this wonderful spirit guide whose name was Ashara said, yes I will begin to work on her chakras immediately. And in true Dolores fashion of course I said, well can you please talk to me while you do it and tell me what you're doing. And there was dead silence. And all of a sudden I felt as if the top of my head had turned into, I don't know, someone had just taken a screwdriver and was like ramming it into the top of my head but very gently and very nicely. And I said, never mind, I don't have to talk because I realized that they were doing the same thing to me that they were doing to her. And this happens over and over and over again in these sessions where, and I think this goes back to our original topic which is the person who's doing the healing supposedly is actually getting worked on. And you know, I just think that it happens constantly. I think that when we do these sessions we're being worked on as much as the client. By their health. I think you're right. I think you're right and... Yeah. And it's about, you know, a lot. Go ahead, go ahead. No, I was just saying it's about allowing it, you know. I think we all have the tendency. I mean, I'm sitting right now in the chair that I sit in when I do my sessions and I can feel my back, you know, curving towards the bed where I just am throwing all of my energy into the client. Just how can I help more? How can I guide you to a better place? How can I do this or that? And I think that they, you know, wink, wink, as Dolores said, know that as we do this we need the healing too and we need to accept that and allow it in the session. That's probably a lesson for us. Yes, absolutely. And I actually would like to say thank you to some of the healers out there who have publicly, on Facebook, in articles, on our forum have talked about being unwell and shared that with others because that's kind of how this show came to be because I'm like, wow, this is happening to many of us. And for my own self, I had just gone through this and you know this very well, Mary. I had gone through some tests and some other things in early January and then I headed down to the N5D conference, amazing conference, the superpower conference in beautiful Sarasota, Florida and gave this speech and the whole weekend was amazing and beautiful and wonderful and I got on the plane to come back home and I was flying from Tampa to Dallas for work and my seatmate was so sick. She was so sick and she had liquid was coming out of her eyes, liquid was coming out of her nose, liquid was coming out of her mouth and I was trying not to be in her space and within about two days, I myself was sick. And so because I am who I am and I do what I do, I start asking the questions, well, what's this mean? You know, what is this about? And as soon as I start to become ill, my own mother becomes ill and anyone who's followed anything with me and my mom on the radio shows or otherwise lately know that my mom's 89 and she's been slowly, slowly coming to the end of her life for a little while now. I truly thought she would go before Dolores, but she has not and she's still with us. And the same time I got sick, my mother ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and I was talking to the nurse flat on my back and then myself I was sick, talking to the hospital nurse about my mother's condition and she was telling me the kind of pneumonia that my mother had and the floor nurse was saying, you know, maybe you should go get yourself checked out. I wasn't planning on going anywhere. I was just, you know, in bed waiting for it to be over, but I ended up taking myself to the doctor as well. And my doctor said, yeah, we could say that, you know, what you've got is the first stages of pneumonia and I'm like, well, lookie there. And what's so interesting about that, of course, is that we really weren't in the same place. We couldn't have shared the same quote unquote germs or virus that we were both having the same challenge at the same time. And there's a lot of different levels to look at about what's going on there. And so for me, what I've been for, for my elderly parents for quite some time is, you know, the go-to person, the answer person, the person who solves all the problems and takes care of all of the details. And for a good five or six days, I couldn't do anything, sometimes not even answer the phone. I mean, I was flat on my back in bed. And I had many hours to think about why this was happening and I tried to see what message was being delivered. And I understand, of course, that part of that is my continuing of letting my mother go and also letting the world turn without me having to take care of some of the details, right? So there was more than one time that I had to pick up the phone and say, well, I'm sorry, whoever, about whatever, concerning whatever, I can't do anything about it because here I am flat on my back in bed. And there was plenty of learning all the way around that happened with my own health challenge. And I'm still at the tail end of it getting over a cough. But again, I wanna thank so many people Elena Kapultnik, we talked a little bit. She said she thinks it was psychic burnout and Michelle Walling herself, we were on the phone. She was just, she was sick too and she was dealing with a cough and there was a lot of, there was a lot of learning and the thing that gives me the biggest, the biggest warmth in my heart is that we can be honest about this. We can talk about this like we are right now on the radio and out there about, heck yes, we're humans. And we're dealing with human things just like all of you humans out there. And just because, yes, we talk about being healers doesn't mean we're perfect and it doesn't mean nothing's ever gonna come into our life that won't make us sick. So we have our own things to deal with and that is the reason this show is happening tonight. Yeah, absolutely. And also God knows sometimes we just need reminders about what it feels like to be sick. We need reminders. We need to know what that feels like to wrestle with that. God knows. But you know, something you were saying really made me think about seeing this in another light also which is that sometimes getting sick or getting ill is a protection for us. And I'm thinking with you, with your cold that you had, your pre pneumonia, there was some reason why you were protected from I think being either in the hospice with your mother or the hospital. She was in the hospital, you said? She was for about five days. She wasn't hospice for a while, that's kind of a long story. She kind of fired hospice, it's a long story but then she ended up in the hospital and she's back home with care but not officially hospice just yet because well, for a lot of reasons. But I think that while she was in the hospital, you, you know, the cold, the cough, the pre pneumonia protected you from being, you know, in the hospital at that point. And I do think that sometimes illness comes in whether you're in the healing arts or your whatever as a protection for us to keep us, you know, I'm thinking particularly it's funny. This is a funny example but one of my kids is an athlete. He's a very, very fine lacrosse player and we've noticed over the years he's a funny kid, he's an 11-11 birthday and he's always been our sort of wizard child and he always seems to have a sort of special layer of protection around him and we noticed, we have noticed over the years that whenever he gets a kind of a little wound or something that takes him out of the game, we always just see it as a protection and right now he's recovering from mono and he's had to miss the first half of his lacrosse season in college which is, you know, freshman year, it's a big deal. And we just laugh and say, hey, we say to him, you know, you're being protected. There's some reason why you have mono, you will get back on the field eventually but this is a protection. And so sometimes, sometimes I think our illnesses are to teach us a different kind of lesson than even, you know, the patients of the body or a past life thing. It's sometimes it's just protection. You know, maybe he would have gotten a concussion or a broken leg or a, you know, whatever but I do think that there are times when we're kept out of the ring, you know, so to speak, the ring of life just to protect us. I agree and for my own part, I know that my mother and I have been so close over the years and I know for sure, for absolute sure. So many different lifetimes. We've had relationships and I know for sure that I've been her mother way more than she's ever been mine and there was a little bit of having, you know, to stop that during this particular crisis. It was like, you know, I'm doing the best for you and for me by not showing up and she had to depend on some other people and there was a little bit of break in some of the dependency and some growth for both of us during, you know, both of our illness. And it's just fascinating. You know, when you get to the place where we are, where, and meaning, and I talk about people who do this work, this quantum healing work and you sit in these sessions and you hear all of these reasons given by the higher self about why things happen. You really have to stop and take stock about when anything happens. You know, perhaps the biggest lesson is just to step back and to consider, you know, what possible message or value in whatever it is that you are faced with rather than just trying to fix it immediately. There's something about, I don't know about you, but at least in my early life, if something's wrong, we'll just go fix it, go fix it, take care of it so you can get back to this, you know, the thing that you have this idea of what a life should be. And all of that has changed since doing this work. When something happens now, there's a pause and it's like, well, why is that happening? And I don't care what it is. It could be a flat tire. It could be a hangnail. It could be an illness. It could be, you know, some sort of the other day, not too long ago, actually, there was this fire right out the window I'm looking at right now and I thought this fire was very close and it wasn't. It was actually several miles away, but it seemed so close because it was so big. And I'm looking at it and even then I'm like, there's this fire over there and I'm trying to kind of decode what that all is, you know? And I love that about this work, you know? That no matter what comes into our life, we can look at it and go, well, what's that code for? Yeah, I think it could be a little exhausting to everybody around us, but it's interesting inside our own heads. Why is this happening all the time? Constant interpretation. You know, I think that one of the things you just said I wanna pick up on, which is when you said, what is the value? And I think one of the questions that Dolores taught us to ask during these sessions that we have is we say to our clients, what does this disease or this illness give you that you wouldn't be getting otherwise? What does this give you permission to receive or what does this give you? And if you do get, because this sometimes can prevent people from getting healed, you know? Because finally, you know, being incapacitated or being bedridden or being sick gives them permission to receive love or to receive care or to finally say, I'm sick. I can, you know, take care of myself now. I can get the rest I need. I can, you know, there's a sort of a joke that a lot of women I know make, which is the only time I get any time off is if I get sick. And so there's a sense that you need to get sick in order to take care of yourself because you can't do it in just your daily life. And so I think, you know, I know so many people whose illnesses serve them on so many levels. And if we don't learn to take care of ourselves in the way that we need to be taken care of, we sometimes have to resort to get sick, especially in this profession, you know, where we are constantly vigilant of other people's health and other people's wellbeing, you know, we have to be equally vigilant of our own wellbeing. And I think, you know, the illness can serve us. The illness does serve people. And, you know, my mother used to have this funny expression which was she would say somebody was professionally sick. And it meant what she meant was, you know, and she would sort of laugh about it, but she would say, you know, you could approach them from a thousand different ways telling them how they could get better, but they didn't want to because they were professionally sick. They were, oh, I went to this doctor and he couldn't fix me. And then I went to that doctor and they couldn't fix me. And then I tried this and tried that. And, you know, they enjoyed on some level, they were enjoying, you know, they were kind of dining out on their illnesses. And when you meet somebody like that, you know, I had a client a few years ago who came in, she was about probably 70 years old, very frail, and she'd had Lyme disease for many years. And she was determined not to get better. You know, and I said to her, have you tried antibiotics? Oh, no, I would never try those. You know, there are times when I do think you have to kind of try some traditional stuff. And have you tried this, have you tried that? Oh, no. And, you know, she was very stiff, like a piece of wood. She just actually didn't want to get better. She really just wanted me to reflect back to her that she wasn't going to get. And, you know, when people are that intransigent, you know, we have to kind of sit back and witness that and be with them where they are. And if we can take them a tiny bit, you know, maybe create a little space in there for some other kind of thinking. Yes, but, you know, people do sort of fall in love with their own illnesses sometimes. You know, they really do. And as you're talking, I'm wondering how personal to get with this, but I think it makes a good story. I know I tell many of my clients this, especially those who make appointments lately because I mentioned to them that, you know, my husband and I came here because my parents turned the latter part of their life and my mother in particular. So if I can be at her side when she passes, I want to be. But my mother has a very interesting story. She was only about two when her own mother became very ill and was sent away. And she barely saw her at all between the ages of two and four. And this was in Czechoslovakia and in Germany back in the war, in wartime days in the early 1930s, late 1920s and early 1930s. And she, her mother died and she was just four. And so at the age of four, when her own mother died, the remaining relatives suddenly showered her with attention and affection. And I think defined her personality. Absolutely defined my mother's personality at age four. Oh, you poor thing. You poor thing who doesn't have a mother. You poor poor thing. You poor poor thing. And talk about reflecting. I think my mother has done that most of her life. And it took me a really long time to see that she's doing that. And her own father then died at the age of 36. So if you take my grandmother and my grandfather's age and add them up together, I mean, I take about as that old. I mean, in my mother's 89, she couldn't conceive of the fact that she would live so long when her own mother died at 24, her own father died at 36. My mother's been dying most of her life because of this place, this construct that she found herself in. And I didn't see that for a very long time. But I see that now. And I have great compassion for her. And I also, it's interesting, she vacillates between being this really sad, pathetic thing and then this amazingly strong, vibrant thing still in these final, and I don't even know, if it's days, weeks, months, or if she could possibly live another year or two. I don't know. But it's very interesting when you talk about this idea of holding on to that identity. And my mother's been that almost my entire life. The first time I remember her telling me she was probably going to go soon, I was 12. I'm going to be 55 this summer. Candice, what you're saying really, really resonates with this thing that I heard from the subconscious when I was working with a client. And I think I wrote this on the forum. The subconscious said that healers come into these lifetimes here on earth in two particular categories. And one is people who hold space for others to heal. So people, doctors, energy workers, whatever people who are in the healing arts, obviously, work to help hold the space for others to heal. But the second category, and this is what makes me think of your mother, is people who come in, who become ill in order to heal the people around them. They come in as their illnesses become teachers. Their problems, their struggles teach the people around them lessons of patience and lessons of love and unconditional love and understanding. And I see very much in what you're saying that your mother came in to bear some of these things to become your teacher. And what a huge gift it is that at age 89, she's still teaching you. And she really is the healer. She is the healer here in terms of you. And what a testament and what an amazing thing to have lived such a long life to give you that. Because she's healing you. And she's also healing the bloodline. Because I've become such a believer in this epigenetics that she's healing the bloodline of her mother and father. She's healing you. And she's healing your children. And of course, your beautiful new granddaughter who's just arrived. I think she is a true, she's a real soldier. Mary, thank you for saying all that. And as long as we're getting personal, maybe I could round out this story by something that's really interesting because Dolores was kind of intertwined with this. In late 2014, when Dolores fell and had her accident and her concussion, which was the beginning of the end for Dolores, it was, I believe, two days after that my mother fell and shattered her elbow. And so Dolores hits the hospital. And two days later, my mother hits the hospital. And inside my stomach is this churning, strange kind of tornado, vortex thing of Dolores and my mother. Dolores and my mother, Dolores and my mother. And Dolores had a much different outlook on life than my mother did. My mother for years and years has been dying. And Dolores was like, I'm fine. I'm going to live to be 100. I would have put all of my money on Dolores at that time. And Dolores was the one who ended up passing. And my mother's still here. It's very, very interesting. And just yesterday, I think it was, I was headed to see my mom. And I'm in the car. And my mom has been having dreams and or visitations with Dolores. And it's really funny. She never met her. She never even saw her on YouTube, nothing. The only thing my mother knows about Dolores is what I've said to her sitting on the sofa telling her about my work and stuff. And she's told me that Dolores has come and talked to her. And I thought that was just so interesting. And as I'm headed to go see my mom again yesterday, I was thinking to myself about, and I was wondering, I was like, well, if and when it's time for her to go. I wonder if Dolores would be there for my mom. You know, I mean, I'm sure, you know, my mother's father and my late brother who passed away in 1989, you know, they would probably be there when my mom crosses over. But my life, and it seems apparently even my own mother's life, it seems so wrapped up with Dolores's life. I've been wondering, would Dolores be there? And right as I have this thought, the spinners song comes on, I'll Be There, which is the same song that I played at the 2015 reunion about Dolores being there at the reunion for us, which I just found astonishing. I mean, energetically, I don't know how this is all wrapped up. I just find it very, very amazing, these quote unquote coincidences and these messages that come through in that way. Yeah, I mean, it just never ends, you know, as much attention as you can pay to it is as much attention as it deserves. You know what I mean? I mean, everything has meaning. Every song, every minute, you know, you could drive yourself crazy paying attention to it. Yeah, okay, listen, let's switch gears for a minute, Mary. Let me ask you something, because Michelle over in the chat room is talking about this idea. And let me ask you your thoughts on this, because, and there goes my cost. So a lot of people around me have been ill, a lot of people across the country have been ill. Michelle got ill very soon after I did. She says that Greg got sick four days after Michelle. And Michelle is wondering about the possibilities of possibly that some of the Kim Trail agendas might be dropping viruses on us. What do you think of that idea? Oh, you're probably not gonna like this. I don't know, I don't really consider myself part of the planet, you know, really, I don't pay attention to the Kim Trails. I think they're sort of pretty. I look at them and I think you have nothing to do with me. So I think it's about what we accept into our reality or not. And that may sound kind of silly and childish and so forth and so on. You know, I think about Sherri Wilde, who I was lucky enough to sit next to at dinner a couple of years ago at a UFO conference maybe, or I can't even remember what it was, but she just said she looks at the Kim Trails and says, you know, you're not part of my reality and they disappear. And, you know, I don't accept it that anything, you know, I'm, I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy. I don't let anything get to me. I try to, I just look at the clouds and say, you're not gonna make me sick. I know they're there, but I just am so stubborn. I just say no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And so I think that, you know, if I can lend some of that stubbornness to Michelle and to Greg, please take it. I refuse to let anything affect me. I try to be very autonomous in terms of what I allow into my field and what I don't allow into my field. So yes, I think anything can affect you. I mean, you know, but other things might affect me. It might be something else. When one of my children is sick, I get very upset. A cloud doesn't necessarily bother me, but other things do. So I think it's about what you are looking for in a way. Darrell Anka, you know, he talks about permission slips. One of my favorite ideas, the idea that we, we allow certain permission slips to heal and we allow certain permission slips to get sick. You know, people will get sick over politics. Oh, Donald Trump makes me sick. Oh, Bernie Sanders makes me sick. Oh, this makes me sick. That makes me sick. But just as, just as likely something heals you. Oh, eating green vegetables on Tuesdays and Thursdays heals me, you know, Reiki healed me, antibiotics healed me. So whether something makes you sick or makes you well, it's whatever you permit. And so, you know, that would be kind of my response to that. Having not met Michelle or Greg, if I knew them, I'd probably be a little more tactful, but... Oh, they're wonderful. Actually, you know, I'm sure they're wonderful, but, you know, if I knew them, I might not want to say that so loud. You know, actually, I'm really glad that you did because there's, what's great about this show and N5D and all of us is that we can talk about this stuff because I think if, you know, we're all doing the best that we can, always. We're always doing the best we can. And I actually referenced the same thing about Sherry Wild that you do. In her book, she talks about, I think she's out for a walk and she sees, sees what she sees as a chem trail up in the air and she gets upset. And then she just has this feeling that she doesn't want it. And she's like absolutely watching this plane and the whole thing disappears and suddenly she thinks her thoughts might have just eliminated that pilot. And, I mean, she goes into this vortex of wondering what happened there and how is it that we create our reality and our thoughts and all of that. And she talks about that brilliantly in her book. And then in the chat room, Michelle is now talking about the fact that, and this is true, that she talks about meaning Sherry Wild talks about the idea of the ETs being positive and everything. And then she has this really awful experience where she gets very, very sick and she's feeling poisoned. And she is having, she's reeling. She's having to deal with these topics or these energies that she had previously claimed would have no power over her. And these are these really interesting places to be human, you know? I mean, we can make these declarations and we can say all of this. We can say, well, what you believe and you create your own reality and all of this. But I think we don't understand a lot of the weaving and a lot of the complexity that goes on here. I mean, we have better understanding, I think, than we have had in the past, but we don't have full and complete understanding. And I kind of, it worries me or not worries me but when people say that they completely understand, I tend to think, how is it possible if you're a human that you completely understand? I mean, it's part of, I think it's part of the game, part of the reason we're here that we can't understand every facet of what's going on here. Oh, yeah, of course. And I'm gonna go back to what I said at the very beginning of our conversation which was how incredibly obnoxious it is when somebody who's not feeling sick to somebody who's feeling sick, oh, I just, that's just not my reality. You know what I mean? I mean, that's, you know, that's very annoying. And I think, I don't know, it's just so hard when you're not feeling well to have any idea other than my body hurts. And so, you know, I feel so awful about poor Sherry. So she's going through this now. Well, she was, I know she's better. I know she's gonna be speaking pretty soon. At the UFO conference, I know that she's better, but I haven't spoken to her directly for a while. She has been in recovery. I think she makes them sort of, as I'm remembering, some sort of turnaround after connecting up with Anelia Benz. I think she was getting ready to kind of give up. And suddenly, she decided that wasn't happening for her anymore. Very, yeah, and Michelle's saying too that about 50% of the people here got flu over the last month. I hadn't even thought of the flu. I know it's, what's interesting about this is just how many people have gotten sick at the same time. I really wonder about these things. I mean, I don't have an answer. And I'm not saying that you do or that anyone does. I think that we can just think about it and wonder. I mean, at least we can think about it in different ways than we used to, right? Oh my God, absolutely. I mean, when I think about the Tuskegee experiments, or there are so many times when human beings have just simply been experimented on. And we go back to Daryl Anka, where I think like I prefer not to think about that. I don't think that my role in this world right now is to dwell on man's inhumanity to man. I mean, it's so unbearable for me to think about the person who gets in an airplane and has chemicals in those tanks and sprays them into the sky. I just can't bear to think about it. And so, I'm sure you could find a guest who would come on and be happy to go into that stuff, but that is just not my way. I can't do it. It's too painful for me to consider that people would try to make other people sick or spread disease or whatever. I just, I can't be a part of that, you know? I can't even think it. I can hardly stand that. I think, I would consider myself very much a first waiver. And the thing that Dolores teaches us about first waivers is that we don't understand meanness. And, you know, that would be something that's just hard for me to do. I don't understand, my husband's always getting mad at me. I leave my purse open in my grocery store. I'll throw my purse in the cart and go to like four aisles over and he'll say, you left your purse in the cart. I'm like, well, if somebody needs the money, I guess they'll take it. I don't know. You know, it makes you think about all kinds of things like the plague or, you know, what was it? The 1927 or 24, you know, influenza epidemic or whatever. I mean, what's going on? I, you know, I don't know. I mean, or you think about the Holocaust. How does that all happen at once? You know, you're reaching into, you didn't tell me we'd be talking about this. I'd have to say a little bit. But I'll tell you what Candace, I'd really love to go back just for a second to the idea of illness and healing and the roles that they play because there was something I really wanted to make sure we talked about, which is the idea that you can be very, very sick and even transition or die as we call it and still be healed. So that was something I really wanted to make sure we talked about. I think that's a great way to end the show. So let's talk about that. Absolutely. So you're telling our listeners about this idea that you don't necessarily have to continue to live to be healed. Is that right? Yeah. And I think, you know, I think this is something I originally read in Carolyn Mace years ago. I've forgotten which book it was, but you know, this, or maybe it was Louise Hay, but this idea that, you know, you can be sick and sick and sick and sick and sick for years, you can be cured from the sickness and that's great. But you can also be not cured from the illness, but you can die healed. Because healing is about coming to terms with something spiritual, something, you come back into balance, some kind of understanding of life and love and whatever the lesson is you need to learn. And so just because a person dies or transitions from that particular mechanism or illness, it does not mean that you aren't healed because not only can you be healed spiritually, the people around you can come into some kind of understanding and some very sweet place where, you know, the transition can be a moment of profound healing for everybody. And so I just think that's really important to emphasize is that healing does not necessarily mean living forever, or for a longer period of time. I think that's, you know, that's a wonderful way to come to kind of the end of our show tonight is to talk about that in that way, because you're right, it's not always about continuing physical existence in this body. Healing can come in other kinds of ways. And I don't know if you have had clients yet who have passed over, who've come to you with terminal illness, but I know that I have and we talk about this on the forum and what we have to do is sort of set aside this idea that success is always the continuation of the physical body and life, because it's exactly what you just said. There's a different way of approaching understanding and looking at the idea of healing. And I absolutely, as I'm thinking about it, two, three, four different clients that I can think of just off the top of my head over the years who came to see me because they were very, very ill, but they let go in peace and with some resolution and understanding of what was going on. And even though they died, they died with a sense of healing. It's funny, I keep thinking of this moment in one of my favorite movies, Little Big Man, I don't know if you ever saw it, where Chief Dan George keeps going up to the high place in the mesa to die and he keeps saying it's a good day to die and then he lies there for a while and he still doesn't die. And that whole idea of being perfectly happy with your own death, that your own death comes as a welcome, a welcoming is absolutely fine. The death is not the ultimate victor in some way, but a friend and I think that's okay. Yeah, you know, it's funny you say that. So I imagine I'm replacing that scene with my own mother in her 40s, her 50s, her 60s, her 70s, her 80s, and maybe even now in her 90s. Yeah, that's right, absolutely. Maybe that isn't funny, but I've got to find humor in there somewhere, right? Yep, you do and that's the way to go. I mean, I remember when my own mother, my mother was dying and at one point my sister said to her the night before she died, are you dying? Like, are you dying? And my mother nodded and smiled, this very enthusiastic smile. She found the whole process fascinating and exciting. And she never said another word, but that was her last thing, was yeah, I'm dying, it's really fun. And I think the victor is not death, the victor is our attitude towards the next adventure. Well, Mary, you know, as I go through what I'm going through, I think about Dolores a lot, and I think about you, and I think about your mother a lot too. And I want to thank you so much for joining me tonight on this show. It's been an amazing conversation with you. And I think this is a great place to sort of wrap things up. So I want to thank everyone who's tuned in to listen to tonight and all of you out there who were listening to an archive version of this show in the future. So, Mary, how can people find you? How can listeners find you in the future? Maybe just have a quantum healing, if there's a session with you in the Maryland area, how can they find you? My website is www.dolores.org. It's www.healingacrosstime.com. And I'm in Annapolis, Maryland, and I'm happy for people to check out my website and give me a call or write me. And I'm also on Facebook. My page is Healing Across Time. And I would love to hear from anyone who'd like to work with me. And, you know, Candice, thank you so much for inviting me on the show. I love talking to you. And you always have a wonderful topic. And you let me explore my own imagination and my own ideas so freely. And I really appreciate that. Oh, Mary, it's always a great time talking with you, as well. I really appreciate you taking time out of your Friday evening to chat with me tonight on this very important topic. So thank you so much for being with me tonight. Thank you. I do appreciate it. Sure. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. So, again, I'd like to remind those of you interested in quantum healing or who are looking for a practitioner of Dolores' method, or if you're already a practitioner, you can find a robust support community at www.dolorescanonqht.com. That's www.dolorescanonqht.com. And you can find out more about my own practice of quantum healing at www.newearthjourney.com. And I want to thank our great friends, Greg Prescott and Michelle Walling, again, as N5Ds, for joining us in the chat room tonight and the show and supporting this show tonight and for everything that you do for us and the planet. And for all of you out there, until next time, sleep well, be well, and many blessings to you all. Good night.