 That's the theme from the Sears Radio Theatre. Tonight's story is a comedy with Andy Griffith as your host. Here's a preview. Harry. Of course! Greg, Greg, old buddy. Harry. Come on, let's do it. Well, you know, you know. No, ladies. Come on, come on. Two, four, six, six. Who do we appreciate? Moose Bay, Moose Bay. Rah, rah, rah. The Sears Radio Theatre will begin after this message from your local station. This is Andy Griffith. Remember the old saying, into each life a little rain will fall? That's just what's gonna happen to Greg and Lois Edwards. Instead of a peaceful summer alone, they're gonna be inundated by, that's right, house guests. I never thought they would find us in California. Harry called the office. He called him, he was Fred Astaire. Miss Graham, she put him right through. Fire her. Well, what about the change of address cards? I'm sure you sent them one. Well? I don't remember. Oh, really? These people are pursuing us every time we move. They're here. First Denver, now Santa Monica. Can't you arrange for an unlisted transfer? They're old friends. Your friends? Well, it's not that bad. Remember three years ago? A mistake. Mistake? How would you like to be arrested? You weren't. You were held in custody. Same difference. They thought I was Thelma's accomplice. Ah, come on. Grabbed by detectives. Searched. So she walked out of Macy's with a toaster. She forgot. They didn't. Oh, and you were a great help. Well, didn't I spring you? In between screens of laughter. It was a riot. Ha, ha. Oh, oh, and another thing. I'm not going anywhere with her if she wears high heels and athletic socks. Good. Stay in the house. And we are not going to any nightclubs where Harry sings along with the band. Oh, boy. Remember? Remember when he got up and sang Lady of Spain? I wanted to die. All right, we'll barbecue and watch TV. Well, at least it's safe. Oh, my. This certainly isn't the way to begin a quiet summer. Although it is the way we begin our story. Sears Radio Theater, a new adventure in radio listening. Five nights of exceptional entertainment every week brought to you in Elliott Lewis production of The Sears Radio Theater. Our story. Guess who's coming to California by Ken Gerard. Our stars, Carol Cook and Shepard Menken. The Sears Radio Theater is brought to you by Sears Robach and Company. Sears, where America shops for value. Just what Greg and Lois Edwards don't need right now. But can Harry and Thelma Newman be that bad? Seems impossible, doesn't it? You do this. Why are you fussing? It's only Harry and Thelma. Oh, fine. Dump some garbage on the carpets. Oh, come on, Lois, enough. We haven't been here six months. I've only gotten rid of the movers cartons and pow. You invite the new ones. I didn't. They invited themselves. It's tradition. You want to hurt their feelings? I plead the Fifth Amendment on that one. Oh, be kind. I thought we'd have this summer alone. The kids at camp, your charming mother in Europe. But no. We're faced with a week of crude jokes, maybe a serious incident with the police and lots of nervous tension. Oh, what's a week? With Harry, it's an eternity. Oh, and a word about Michael. Well, I'm glad he's in camp. Safe and sound for once. Oh, that was something. Yes. He marched into the kitchen, not a tear, and said, Mom, my shoulder feels funny. Look, don't remind me, will you? What a perceptive child. It was only dislocated. Just from arm wrestling with Harry. It was an accident. Oh, it is always an accident. But they're back. What's this year? Fire, flood, famine? Look, I got the point. Please, call it. I have no choice. If we're lucky, they'll bring their parents. And why not? They still need them. It'll be different this time. Always is. Well, let me get the lunch ready. Here, put the vacuum away. I will make the best of it, smiling on the outside and furious on the inside. It's the California curse. Everybody wants to visit. But they'll have a rented car. We'll map out daily side trips. You'll never see them. Ha! Wishful thinking. You'll never budge unless we take our car. Why? The mile it's charged. For a living since a mile, you got them. You drive them. Look, Harry's a character. You know he overcompensates. It's the insecurity syndrome. Ah! That explains why he choose with his mouth open. Oh, he doesn't. Don't tell me. I always sit opposite him. He's been misunderstood since he was a kid. You know his father told me he was a big mistake? Harry almost got killed at summer camp. In a battle of wits? Oh, smart. Very smart. Smart, smart. The canoe overturned and I was there. I know. I heard it enough. I feel I was there. Give me that platter. No, the bigger one. Making his favorite? Of course. It's another tradition. Pastrami on date nut bread. Film is not that bad. Relative to what? So she's not the most attractive woman in the world. In the galaxy? I've seen worse. Little makeup, some new clothes. So, could pass. Is what? A very ugly man? Look, Harry loves her. Yes, a match made in heaven. No, I can't believe it could happen that way. Why don't you fix her up while she's here? Take it to a beauty parlor or a cosmetician. Dear, we just moved into this area. I don't want people talking and pointing. That's unkind. Remember the incident with the hairstylist? Of course. The shampoo girl almost OD'd on Thomas Dandruff. Maybe she's improved. Well, she's almost basically a fine woman. She has to be married to Harry. She idolizes you. Don't be patronizing. She's got many good qualities. I hope she brings them with her. Well, we'll survive. However, I won't vouch for the furniture. Oh, it'll be fun. I'll laugh right, as they say. How you two became such buddies as beyond me. Greg, what is the magic? Or is he blackmailing you? No, well, indeed. He's different. A mild understatement. Everybody in prep school liked Harry and wanted to be his friend. Smart. They got it out of the way early. They're here. All too soon. To each life a little rain must fall. We'll get a slicker and go washes because here comes the rain. No, you get it. Oh no, they're your friends. I'll choose you. Three takes it. Child. Hey, hey, hey, buddy. Harry. Come on, let's do it. Well, you know, you know. Oh, lady. Come on, come on. Appreciate it. Most be here. You haven't lost your touch, boy. Hey, like old times. Oh, look sensational. Bermuda shorts the whole bit. Oh, and listen, I just love the yellow knee socks. Great with dress shoes. She knows. Where's Thelma? I'm loading the car. Let me give her a hand. Oh, no, no, no. Don't do nothing. Thelma's gone feminist. Then I'll do it. No way. Hey, Thelma. Get your fanny in here. She loves it when I get macho. Next time you'll do this fat face. Oh, Lowy. Thelma. Greg. Thelma. I'm to California. Oh, thanks. A pleasure. Lowy, you look terrific. Some shape, huh? It's a pleasure to look at somebody without curlers. Why don't you get that trunk out of the car? Come on, Greg. It's like lead. Trunk? How was your flight? Fabulous. I only threw up once right over the Grand Canyon. Oh, well then, would you like to freshen up? Later. I want to see your pool. We don't have one. Oh, yeah? Greg not doing well, huh? No. A house for the pool was just too expensive. I'm sure. Well, you don't have to pretend. I know. Here. Here. Okay. Now, here. You put your hand down first, huh? Oh, Lowy. What's in there? Yeah, you know, Thelma. I'll have enough clothes for a month. Swill. Yeah. They ain't got a pool. Well, you don't swim anyway. Yeah, but I wanted to take a plunge. So I'll fill up the shower. Yeah. Why don't you unpack and then we'll take a drive? Oh, no. Let's chow down. Oh, he's thinking of his gut. Why not? Oh, sure. Why don't let's put on the old feedback. Come on, Thelma. The grub's in the kitchen. Lois. Greg. Harry. You look wonderful. Oh, I work out. Exercise. That's a secret. I ain't going to have the big one. I jog a mile a month. All right. Listen, I don't want to say nothing in front of the girls. How you doing, Greg? I'm in a house in Santa Monica without a pool. I don't know. Time's tough. No, everything's fine. The new company's great. Hey, hey, you don't have to put on airs with me. Harry, we're doing fine. All right. Just in case. If you need it, I got a deal to tell you later. A gold mine. What are you telling him, Harry? About the mad old books, huh? Bought $10 worth of trash at the airport. No, I wasn't. Lunch anybody? Of course. Harry, your favorite pastrami on date nut. Ah, you'll never forget. Oh, and the Thelma special. Tuna and peanut butter on an onion roll. Oh, thanks. Greg and I will have tuna plain. Coffee, Harry? Oh, yeah, and double sugar. Take a diet substitute. I always tell you that. It's healthier. And get artificial diabetes. It's your funeral. You wish. How do you like California? All fabulous. You can see what you're breathing. And all the slim women. Looking already, huh? Now, just because I'm on a diet don't mean I can't read the menu. Ah, Greg. Right, right. And who's taking care of the children? The thing. Who? Mrs. G. Aunt, her, you know, Rose. Oh, Harry's mother. Who else? And I'll be nice. If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be here. And neither would you. How is little Thelma? Oh, a living doll. We almost brung her for a screen test, of course. Things tell jokes. Oh, you wouldn't believe. I brought a tape. We'll listen later. She's terrific. Wonderful. And little Harry? Just like me. I hope not. I'll let that one pass. Oh, yeah, yeah. Super kid. Plays every sport. Smart as a whip. See, he's not like the big one. Watch your mouth. And your boys? Oh, summer camp. They'll be back next month. Camp. Camp. Like the old days. I remember the two of us, the camping kids. Oh, that's my cue. I've heard this before. Listen, Lowy. You mind if I use your washing machine? You got one, don't you? Oh, yes. And it's brand new. Did you spill something in the car? No. It's the dirty laundry I brought from home. I didn't finish. Fat Face said we'd be late for the plane. Oh. Well, let me show you where. Excuse, fellas. Yeah, and get the grease off my undershirt this time. Can they hear us? No. Here it is. A new deal, Greg. This time, you will be making money in barrels. Oh, here we go again. I wonder what Harry's got up his sleeve this time. Got another surefire investment. Well, let's hear it. We can't invest right now. Now, don't say anything until I finish. I listen, you know, but that's it. Fair enough. Fair enough. I am revolutionizing advertising. How? Bumper stickers. The hottest marketing gimmicks in skywriting. You're not serious. You bet. The potential is unlimited. It's a money machine. God, I'll pass on this. You crazy? It's like stealing. I don't have any capital. The house cost us a fortune. It'll take a second mortgage. Lois would never agree if I... What Lois? This is a shoe-in. I'm doing everything. The writing, the printing, the selling. You can advertise anything. You got any customers? Plenty. The Trenton Mortuary was my first. They hand these out at funerals? No, no, no. They stick them on the cars during the service. It's incredible. Who else? What are you doing here? Telling some preverted joke. No. I just offered Greg in. Into what? A million bucks. Greg, have you... No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Harry made us an offer that I can quickly refuse. Besides, you know that we don't have any money right now for investments. Yes. Now, what is the latest adventure? I mean venture. Vehicular advertising. What? Bumper stickers. I write them. Harry sells them. Teamwork. Sure. My first was, we dig you. Trenton Mortuary. Like it? Catchy, huh? Oh, terrific. You've got to come in with us. Only cost you 5,000. Double your money in a year. I'm sorry. We can. Okay, okay, okay. You just missed a new IBM. Listen, I hope you make a bundle. Oh, I will. I got the smarts. I heard that before. Listen, we've got a plan what to do. I ain't sitting in the house this vacation. Hey, hey, hey. How about Disneyland? Oh, no, no, no. It's the other one in Florida. The ride stink. Oh. Well, how about a tour of some movie studios? Oh, no. They had it on a TV special. Besides, you got to walk. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. The farmer's market. Oh, hundreds of wonderful food shops. Oh, Harry. Harry, it is you. How much walking? Oh, almost none. And it's never crowded. Oh, well, put it on the maybe list. Okay. There is something I want to do. Oh. Tour the graves of the stars. You what? Sure. Is it cemeteries? I want to see where everybody's gone. Absolutely. Absolutely. Go tonight. It's very romantic. Oh. Could we, Harry? Could we? Why not? The sky's the limit this trip. Oh, Harry. Only if we do something I've been thinking about, too. There he is. Buy land in California. Oh, no. No, look at this. I clipped it from the paper. Be part of the Golden West. Own a piece of California. Rancho San Leon. It's pronounced San Leoni. I mean, written that way. San Leon. Well, let me finish. Rancho San Leon offers you 10-acre home sites in a plush setting. Visit the clubhouse with its Olympic-sized pool. Gaze at the majestic mountains and painted desert from your spacious motel room. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. San Leoni's on the coast. But San Leon is in the desert. It's where? Who knows? Who cares? Here's the best part. Five days and three nights free. Well, you get it? We can all go for nothing. Hmm. Sounds flaky. You're too suspicious. This is a deal. Right. Right. When are you leaving? While he goes, I go. Otherwise, nothing. Oh, well, we can't afford it. But it's sur la confers, they say. You can't lose. Just say you're looking. Too much interest and they'll jack up the prices. Oh, yeah. You go first. Do the hard negotiating. Then advise us, huh? You got it. Leave Tuesday. Monday, take Thelma to the graves. Oh, hair. Our own ranch. Like Tara. Better. We'll have air conditioning. Well, you too, buddy. California drivers, they all stink. You've got to be crazy to live here. The freeways are murder. Take the next off rampant. Hey, Thelma, we've been going since this morning. Enough already, huh? I've seen too many headstones. Let's go back to the house. Last one. It's special. Babe, it's getting dark. Come on. We're almost there. OK. OK. But first, I feed my face. Hey, look. Don Armando's Mexican buffet. How about that? Why not? You've been such a good sport. Thank you. All you can eat for $1.19. How good can it be? Listen, we ain't coming back for dinner. Oh, no. Everything's A1. She went by manners. Like a dream come true. We saw everybody. No, we're going to eat Mexican tonight. I don't know where we are. Oh, sure. Your card's fine. Hey, thanks a million, huh? Oh, and don't wait up. We might go to a drive-in afterwards. Almost midnight. Call the police. I know something's happened to them. Oh, don't be a nervous mother. He said they may go to a movie. They shouldn't be at this late. They're not children. Really? Why are you so uptight? Because it's like sitting through the 15th rerun of a terrible movie. It's like being the cruise director on the Titanic. Stop. If I relive another homecoming game against Polly, or your experiences at the senior prom with Pimples McGuire, or the highlight of each miserable visit, the retelling of Harry and the canoe, I might have grounds for divorce. Where is it? The old camp yearbook, the moosa log, or your prep school yearbook. Either. In the library, next to the telephone. You're a good woman. Too good for you. I remember my father saying that. It never turns out that badly. Really? And the word about money. Okay, I won't invest with him. I hope not. How much was the last debacle? A thousand? Three thousand? It was alone. Money? Pussed right out of the window. I could have made a fortune. On a discount hospital? The concept is terrific. It was the AMA that ruined the deal. Oh, sure, sure. Was the operating room to be in the parking lot, or in the elevator? Why must you drag up old memories? Not memories, traumas. All right, no loans, no nightclubs, no discussions about school or camp, okay? Sounds wonderful. Keep it simple, steak, solid, and sangria. Got it? Yes. Finally! Why must he pound on the door? Thelma! Help me get her into the bedroom. Oh, wow. Hey, what happened? Thelma's got green belly. She looks terrible. Oh, my stomach's on fire. Okay, Thelma, okay. We're home, we're home. I'll get her some tea. No, just leave her to me. See you in the morning. How's Thelma? Super. Pulled through. Good. What an experience. Oh, she's been worse. Got a stomach like a goat. Where did you eat? Some Mexican buffet, and all you can eat place. I thought it was sensational. I had nine burritos, two plates of enchiladas. Oh, it was paradise. For some? Well, I guess the chocolate-covered tacos nailed Thelma. Could be. Well, that was yesterday. This morning, I'm famished. Can you lussel up some French toast? Why not? How about a side of pancakes? No, no. Saw your brother last week. Good. Two women hanging on him like wallpaper. Mm-hmm. Typical. Did he ever patch it up with your dad? Do you mind? No, no. Signing someone else's name to check ain't my style, either. Change the subject, please? Sure. How's your mother-in-law? Fine. Greg still call her every night? Harry. Just checking. Hiya, Harry. How's the patient? All firmed up. Tonight, we go for Chinese. Us, well. Some French toast? No, thanks, dear. Just coffee. How about that? The three-way tie in the National League. Baseball. You still following that? Oh, sure. It's dead. You want to know how to sport, huh? Tennis? Get out. The roller derby. That's action. Chills. Spills. Me and Thelmawn, 2% of the Brunswick Braves. I'm gonna cash in another sports tycoon. Oh, they're a natural for a bumper sticker. Hey, what about skaters do it? That's enough, Greg. What's enough? Hey, babe, you're alive. Sit down. Oh, thanks, Lowy. It was almost all over last night. Have some tea, Thelmawn. Or ginger ale. Oh, you gave me enough already, you locust bourger. He tried to kill me. Did I tell you to eat all that food, huh? Don't talk about it. The place was written up. About the health department. Some thanks for showing you a good time. Go on, poisoner. I thought it was delicious. I guess you can't leave for Rancho's San Leone today, huh? Of course not. Thelmawn's in no condition to travel. Well, I was merely thinking out loud. A very poor thought. Listen, why don't you and Harry go alone? Hey, great idea. I didn't plan to be awaited this land. The two of us on the road again, just like the old days. We'll leave at sunset in your car. Oh, how romantic. Guess who's coming to Gallup? I'd like to have a word with you. Shh. They'll hear us. What was the meaning of that? I loved the way you volunteered me. A trip into the wild with a barren of the bumper stickers. He's your friend. You invited him. That has nothing to do with it. I'll never forgive you for this. Oh, well, then cancel it. Be a man. Go out there and tell him you just don't want to go. And hurt his feelings? No way. Rancho's San Leone. It's got to be a rip-off. Oh, the more reason to go. You can protect the wheel or dealer from himself. Oh, that's impossible. That man is born to be taken. Prevent it. Anyhow, what's five days? With Harry? An eternity. Oh, remember that the next time. OK. I'll go. But have her packed and ready to leave when we return. You're really going to leave me. Well, we'll take care of you. How do I know you're not stepping out early? Because I'm going with Greg. Maybe he's going to fix you up with a starlet. We're going to buy land. No, we're going not to buy land. Harry, don't look at nobody else. Oh, come on. Who's going to be attracted to me? The lady at the supermarket always gives you the eye. Who? The girl in produce, Harry. She wants you. But I got you. Oh, Harry. Never leave. I know I ain't a natural beauty. You're a unnatural beauty? If I could only believe that. Oh, tuts, it's you and me. Like any of the world's great pairs, Anthony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, Francine and Seymour. The couple that runs a candy store. She's been married for a thousand years. Oh, but I know you've got wandering feet. It's you, town. Nobody else means anything. Who, nobody else? Nobody, nobody else. Now, you're going to make the big break, huh? Now, I... You feel that? What? Like the floor shook. Oh, it didn't. Could've swore the room vibrated. Probably blasting. Could be excavating. Who knows? Maybe they're building a subway. Out here? Well, it's California, you know. They do everything different. Kiss me before you leave. It's the afternoon. Oh, don't go. What do you want me to do, town? Post-the-security deposit? Well, tell them I'm too sick. I'm real out. No way. You want to put the evil eye on us? I give my word to Greg and I will stand by it. My heart is in this room. But my body will be on the road. Oh, Harry, you're so macho. Corner, they just left. Oh, it's like years. It's only for a few days. Oh, a few days? They won't stay the whole time. Oh, good. I told Harry to call me when he arrives. Oh, stop it. He's a big boy. But still a boy. Oh, oh, Thelma. Greg will take care of him. Oh, you're Greggy a doll. I feel better already. I know. Let's go shopping. And leave the house? Oh, what if the police call at the hospital? How can I enjoy myself knowing he's out there unsupervised? Thelma, I have a sensational dress shop. Designers close. Oh, half off. Well, maybe it would be good therapy for me. I'll get ready. That's the spirit. Now you can surprise Harry with a new wardrobe. Oh, Harry. Oh, my Harry. Thelma. We ain't been separated since his cousin's gallbladder operation. I'm in shock. Thelma, be strong. Oh, I wish I was like you. Courageous. Slim. But I'm not. If anything happens to him, I'll kill him. Nothing's going to happen. Are you sure? Positive? Yes. Oh, I knew it. I knew it. Oh, don't answer it. It's probably a number. No, no, no. It's the hospital. Oh, Harry. Hello? Where are you? Oh, it figures. Yeah, she's right here. Is she dead? No. They stopped for some delicatessen. He wants to talk to you. You're eating? Sure. It's a habit. And I thought you was in a car wreck. What's with you? I'm fine. Oh, you're going to worry me to death unless you poison me first. Oh, nice. I called to tell you. Oh, never mind. Tell me what? I miss you and I love you. Oh, Harry, you're so wonderful. Of course. Listen, Touch, I'm okay. And I think I can talk Greg out of this. We'll be back tomorrow. Music to my ears. Of course. Speak to you later. So goodbye. Love you. What a husband. What a man. Who's the floor shaking again? Just another trimmer. You should complain about the blastings. Blasting? It's an earthquake. A what? Earthquake. I'm going to be crushed. We don't relax the moment. Save them. Easy. It was a small one. It's all over. Don't say that. The quake was mild. Mild? My sandwich jumped right off the plate. I'm sure it was only three on the Richter scale. Don't talk about weight now. Yeah, we're here. There you see. No damage. You ready, Don? Harry, stay. No way. We're heading to the airport. My nerves are shattered. But you just got here. Gotta go. Blame Mother Nature. We love you, but... Oh, Lowy, move back east. What six feet of snow compared to this? Come on, enough chit chat. I got reservations on the six o'clock. Send the Trump COD. I'll call you. This is silly. Please stay. Then be crushed like an ant. Come on, Harry, before the big one. You're overestimating the whole thing. Sure, sure. Well, old buddy, we'll always take your kids, if anything. I don't want to think about that. Goodbye and good luck. Oh, Lowy. Take care. Come on. Except for their trunk. Wonderful. Can you just answer the houseguests? I'll never get to see Rancho San Leon. Oh, pity. Oh, no. Don't answer it. You think they changed their minds? Don't say it. Suppose it's one of the kids. You better get it. Hello? Oh, hi. No, no, I'm all right. Sure, we'll pick you up at the airport. Bye. What now? My mother's arriving tomorrow. Guess who's coming to California was written by Ken Gerard, produced and directed by Elliot Lewis. Your host was Andy Griffin. Our stars were Carol Cook and Shepard Minkin. Also heard were Cliff Norton and Jean Gillespie. The music for Sears Radio Theatre was composed and conducted by Nelson Riddle. This is Art Gilmore speaking. The Elliot Lewis production of Sears Radio Theatre is a presentation of CVI.