 Hi everyone, welcome to the live this video is about managing your expectations When dealing with narcissists when we get involved with these narcissists we Often expect a certain standard. We have certain expectations. It's kind of like We're going to McDonald's And expecting a five course dinner and That might sound crazy in itself But what if you've never been to McDonald's? What if you don't really know what food they do that? So you might go there with a certain expectation You might expect a certain standard from them and then when you get there You might be very disappointed You might have been expecting more Than what you actually received And there's nothing wrong with that mistakes happen sometimes We expect a certain quality a certain service and For whatever reason that's not what we get But the problem arises When we go back Again and again when we already know What we're going to get Or maybe we are expecting That things will be better the next time. What if there was An advertisement a promotion you see a billboard or a TV advert That says Five course dinners gourmet meals are Now available at McDonald's Now that might be hard to believe but If you see it on a billboard Or you see it on a TV commercial There's a fair chance That you might believe in it And you might give it a try So you go along to McDonald's Expecting this five course dinner that you've seen On TV Or on one of those billboards and when you get there You're told that they're not available. They might tell you No, we don't offer that here at McDonald's and this may leave you very confused because You were presented with something You were led to believe Something you were given a false Or mistaken impression About what you were going to receive You were misled and that's often what we might experience with narcissists They mislead us They fool us into believing That they have something that we want That something is available and When you get involved with them You soon discover That it's not true You may feel very confused You may be disappointed But the narcissist Doesn't just come out and tell you They don't just say No We're not serving five course dinners at McDonald's No, they don't tell you that They will lie about it to the very end Making you believe that they have it They will future fake Whatever it takes just to keep you around But every time you go there Every time you're led into going to McDonald's to purchase this five course dinner You end up leaving with nothing but a happy meal And it's like They expect you to see that happy meal as a privilege Why does this happen? Narcissists are very arrogant And delusional They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance They think they're so much greater than what they actually are They think they have so much more to offer Than what they actually do And when you get involved with them They think that they've given you so much more than they actually have And this is the danger of being involved with these narcissists Because they will do whatever they can to love bomb you And to lure you in to some kind of engagement And they will make you believe that it's going to be an equal exchange But when it all comes down to it You find that they haven't even got the goods They haven't even got what they promised you all along It's like going to McDonald's Expecting a five course dinner You saw the advertisement You thought that's what you were going to get But when you got there You saw something very different It didn't look too appetising If anything You were probably considering Leaving there with nothing Maybe you'd be better off But yeah That's what it's like with these narcs But we need to manage our expectations We need to take responsibility for this So that it doesn't keep happening again and again Yes There may have been a false advertisement And it may have given you the wrong impression It may have lured you into an undesirable situation But there's not too much that you can do about that right now The best thing to do is first Get out of McDonald's And Go find a fancy five star hotel I'm joking of course But seriously You've just got to be more cautious next time Don't just listen to their words Pay attention to their actions Don't dive in head first Give yourself time To Observe the waters It doesn't have to be a rush Give yourself some time just to see What's really going on Because the thing is No matter how many of these videos you watch No matter how much you think you know About these narcissists They can still fool you If you're so quick to jump in with them They can still get you And you might not realise it straight away But in time you will regret that decision So yeah We've got to stop falling for these false advertisements Someone may say that there's something Or they're about something Or whatever it may be But it doesn't mean that they are They just know that you're about that And they think that by being that Which you want to see Then maybe that will get them in with you For enough time Where they can then extract what they want from you But it doesn't mean that they're about anything that you're about It doesn't mean that they've got anything to bring to the table They just want your money Without giving you What you want Because in most cases they don't have what you want If they had it then They'd probably just give it to you Because then that would keep you around for longer Then you'd be a regular customer And then they could keep get what they want from you But they haven't got it so You just have to remember that and stop going back Go somewhere else Don't always judge a book by its cover It can be very misleading I'm going to be doing a new series soon on the channel It's going to be called Narcissistic Abuse What's your story? And it's a chance for viewers to Share their personal stories with us You can either film yourself And make your own video and send it in Or you can email me a script And I will make the video for you It's whatever you prefer So if that interests you Just send me an email Coachingatnaqsurvivor.co.uk Thank you all for joining this live And I'll talk to you soon