 So yes, I'm back if you're new here. My name is Megan and I am a teacher kind of getting there So I was going to go through and kind of answer a couple of things But it's gonna be really long So I just kind of wanted to get down to business about where I've been and why I haven't been kind of Pointing up teaching videos. What is up with that? So yeah, my name is Megan I have a degree in elementary education one through six and a minor in Spanish that I Was able to get while I was traveling in Spain for a study abroad program I don't really have any additional things. I've done a couple of different level trainings that I have now added to my resume Otherwise, yeah, I did summer school that helped a lot and I was kind of frustrated this summer because I applied and I applied and I applied to jobs and Nothing seemed to be panning out in my favor I mean I had the two interviews at the end of the last school year Neither of them worked out and I was like those are the jobs that I would have gotten if I were to get a job this For this coming school year or whatever. It's already started, but you know what I mean So yeah, I was feeling pretty defeated after those I kept questioning like why I didn't get them and They didn't really give me good explanations I mean, I wasn't really able to ask and I was so kind of Frustrated about them that I never took the time to email these principles to ask which is really Not beneficial to me because now I can't use that information to grow and kind of Do better as a potential candidate for a school So that part really stinks that I was so upset that I couldn't like let that go but anyways, I Had two other Potential interviews, but of course and I'm like this whole summer they Wanted to do it on days that I was Teaching at summer school and I was just like I can't take off that time You know for these three weeks that I'm teaching summer school for these schools that can't be flexible I mean, maybe they have lots of candidates. So, you know, maybe they can be picky But I couldn't I couldn't give up the money that I was getting from summer school to Potentially maybe get a job at a school. I just I couldn't do it It just didn't make sense for me financially. So and that was my only real income this summer I ended up getting a babysitting job, which I'm super happy about it's literally a minute drive away for two boys and I make the same that I do substitute teaching and Yeah, it's been pretty good and it's offering you know a okay-ish Tiny amount of money that I can be using right now. So that's really really helpful So, yeah, I Was getting really Frustrated about the whole process now. I know What you might be thinking like oh You applied to schools for two summers and you instantly think you should get a job Let me tell you why I'm frustrated now Do I think I should instantly get a job? No Do I think that I should be getting interviews and possibly be considered for jobs? I think so because I feel like I have a lot of experience and I'm just really Frustrated and kind of bitter about the whole thing because there are people who just graduated in December Who are getting jobs over me and some of my friends slash? teaching peers that We just can't really understand why Probably due to connections if you guys have any insight on that, you know, definitely let me know But I assume it's probably connections and just knowing people at the school and having those opportunities But I mean they're the same positions that me and my friends were applying for so it's just kind of Frustrating to know that Those other individuals for whatever reason were kind of getting the jobs over Us as more experienced teachers So they might have had extra things that we couldn't offer I don't exactly know the whole situation It just made me very very frustrated. It's one thing if it's like, okay It's me and there's a problem, but it's like I don't know so I was really getting frustrated and Just really questioning if teaching is what I want to do. I mean When I was back in high school and even in grade school, they didn't really tell us about other jobs I mean the main jobs were like teaching firefighter Scientist like, you know, and there weren't really they didn't really dive deep into what other potential careers could be out there and Now as a teacher I tell kids about potential careers all the time I mean we study something in math and I'm like, hey You could do this or you could be a coder or you could be a programmer or you could be an ecologist Or a naturalist like there we're offering so many things to these kids who are so young and my brother they When he was graduating they had a STEM fair. So he was able to You know have lots of opportunities to meet people in these jobs that I've never even heard of before and Really get an insight into what those jobs are and I feel like it just wasn't an opportunity that I was given So I don't know that part just really frustrates me Now do I dislike teaching for these reasons? No, I still love it. I'm still excited and passionate It's just really making me question. Like did I just have blinders on and didn't see the potential for other Jobs because I remember myself like telling myself, you know, what else would you do? You probably aren't good at anything else. Like teaching is probably the only thing you'd be good at You've done it for so long different things like that. So It's been a very big moral dilemma for myself because I'm like, you know, I went to school for four years I've now substitute taught for a year and I really enjoy working with kids, but it's just like I don't know I'm just worried that, you know, I don't know if this is like, I Don't know. It's just hard because I don't want to regret not trying something else or doing something else, but I Just don't know if there's something that I could be like even happier doing but Let's rewind a little bit because now that I had this potential Tutor job. So basically what had happened was it was kind of a last ditch effort to be like, okay Are there other things within a school that I could still do that? Isn't necessarily substitute teaching because I was kind of dreading it a little bit Walking into a new classroom and trying to teach somebody else's lesson with kids that I don't know Like literally just stresses me out so much I know I talked a lot about how happy I was last year With how much time I was given and stuff like that, but it was also really really hard at times, too So I think I was just really dreading that and just trying to like get back into things so Yeah So with this tutor position though, I applied to some tutor positions Some clerk set slash secretarial positions Had different things like that in hopes that maybe those ones would pan out and then I told myself if they didn't I would start exploring other career options to see if maybe that was something I Would be more interested in so I'm having a really renewed hope that this tutor position is gonna work out and Hopefully provide opportunities in the future So yeah, stay tuned But that is really why I didn't make any videos lately because I just I Don't know. I just Needed I guess a renewed hope and here I am with one So I'm really really hoping that it works out But yeah, if it doesn't I Might be looking at other options and I'll definitely share that with you guys and Maybe it's too soon to give up hope, but I don't think that's what I'm doing. I think I just want to want to be teaching and Right now, I mean I have that renewed hope So like that's not exactly how I'm feeling at this moment, but like right now in general I just feel very defeated by the whole system. I feel pretty bitter about it and You know, maybe that makes me an entitled millennial or whatever, but like I I just feel like I deserve a chance and I can't Comprehend why these other girls who just graduated are getting the same like getting these jobs over me, I just Can't understand that and I don't have anybody kind of explaining that to me So I'm just very very bitter about the whole situation And I'm hoping that again this works out, but I'll let you guys know But that's where I've been at so obviously like with this feel feelings of frustration and stuff I didn't want to make these videos about teaching because it's like well is this what I want to do I don't know so Right now, I feel like I do know so But yeah, so that's kind of where I am at right now with everything If you guys have ever felt this way, please let me know I just It's been really hard to be honest. It's been really hard and Just trying to stay with it has been tough Because like it'd be one thing if these if these people getting these jobs like had gone through a year of subbing and Whatever, but like they didn't and I did and I feel like I have a lot more to offer and more experience and I don't know Maybe I don't but that's how I feel. So that's why yeah So I just wanted to explain that to you guys and just kind of be transparent about Where I've been and why what I've been feeling and all this stuff. So Again, I hope this job works out and it's really getting me excited for the school year. So fingers crossed And I will talk to you guys later because this video is super long so I guess I'll give another update video soon about kind of What's going on with the job search? So But right now I hope you guys are having a great start to your school year and I really appreciate your support. So if you liked this at all This little update you can give it a thumbs up, especially if you've you know, maybe been questioning it teaching yourself Like definitely comment down below and tell me how you feel because I totally understand So anyways, I'll catch you guys in the next one. Bye