 Chapter 41 of North and South. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Leanne Howlett. North and South by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell. Chapter 41, The Journey's End. I see my way as birds their trackless way I shall arrive. What time, what circuit first I ask not. But unless God sent His hail or blinding fireballs, sleet or stifling snow, in some time His good time I shall arrive. He guides me and the bird in His good time. Browning's Paracelsus. So the winter was getting on and the days were beginning to lengthen without bringing with them any of the brightness of hope which usually accompanies the rays of a February sun. Mrs. Thornton had, of course, entirely ceased to come to the house. Mr. Thornton came occasionally, but his visits were addressed to her father and were confined to the study. Mr. Hale spoke of him as always the same. Indeed, the very rarity of their intercourse seemed to make Mr. Hale set only the higher value on it. And from what Margaret could gather of what Mr. Thornton had said, there was nothing in the cessation of his visits which could arise from any umbrage or vexation. His business affairs had become complicated during the strike and required closer attention than he had given to them last winter. Nay, Margaret could even discover that he spoke from time to time of her and always, as far as she could learn, in the same calm, friendly way, never avoiding and never seeking any mention of her name. She was not in spirits to raise her father's tone of mind. The dreary peacefulness of the present time had been preceded by so long a period of anxiety and care, even intermixed with storms, that her mind had lost its elasticity. She tried to find herself occupation in teaching the two younger Boucher children and worked hard at goodness. Hard, I say most truly, for her heart seemed dead to the end of all her efforts, and though she made them punctually and painfully, yet she stood as far off as ever from any cheerfulness. Her life seemed still bleak and dreary. The only thing she did well was what she did out of unconscious piety, the silent comforting and consoling of her father. Not a mood of his but what found a ready sympathizer in Margaret, not a wish of his that she did not strive to forecast and to fulfill. They were quiet wishes, to be sure, and hardly named without hesitation and apology. All the more complete and beautiful was her meek spirit of obedience. March brought the news of Frederick's marriage. He and Dolores wrote, she in Spanish, English, as was but natural, and he with little turns and inversions of words, which proved how far the idioms of his bride's country were infecting him. On the receipt of Henry Lennox's letter, announcing how little hope there was of his ever clearing himself at a court-martial in the absence of the missing witnesses, Frederick had written to Margaret a pretty vehement letter containing his renunciation of England as his country. He wished he could unnative himself and declared that he would not take his pardon if it were offered him to live in the country if he had permission to do so, all of which made Margaret cry sorely so unnatural that it seemed to her at the first opening, but on consideration she saw rather in such expression the poignancy of the disappointment which had thus crushed his hopes and she felt that there was nothing for it but patience. In the next letter Frederick spoke so joyfully of the future that he had no thought for the past and Margaret found a use in herself for the patience she had been craving for him. But the pretty, timid, girlish letters of Dolores were beginning to have a charm for both Margaret and her father. The young Spaniard was so evidently anxious to make a favorable impression upon her lover's English relations that her feminine care peeped out at every erasure and the letters announcing the marriage were accompanied by a splendid black lace mantilla chosen by Dolores herself for her unseen sister-in-law whom Frederick had represented as a paragon of beauty, wisdom, and virtue. Frederick's worldly position was raised by this marriage onto as high a level as they could desire. Barburn Company was one of the most extensive Spanish houses and into it he was received as a junior partner. Margaret smiled a little and then sighed as she remembered afresh her old charades against trade. Here was her prouche Chevalier of a brother turned merchant-trader. But then she rebelled against herself and protested silently against the confusion implied between a Spanish merchant and a Milton Mill owner. Well, trade or no trade, Frederick was very, very happy. Dolores must be charming and the mantilla was exquisite. And then she returned to the present life. Her father had occasionally experienced a difficulty in breathing this spring which had for the time distressed him exceedingly. Margaret was less alarmed as this difficulty went off completely in the intervals. But she still was so desirous of his shaking off the liability altogether as to make her very urgent that he should accept Mr. Bell's invitation to visit him at Oxford this April. Mr. Bell's invitation included Margaret. Name or, he wrote a special letter commanding her to come. But she felt as if it would be a greater relief to her to remain quietly at home, entirely free from any responsibility whatever, and so to rest her mind and heart in a manner that she had not been able to do for more than two years past. When her father had driven off on his way to the railroad, Margaret felt how great and long had been the pressure on her time and her spirits. It was astonishing, almost stunning to feel herself so much at liberty, no one depending on her for chairing care, if not for positive happiness, no invalid to plan and think for. She might be idle and silent and forgetful and what seemed worth more than all the other privileges, she might be unhappy if she liked. For months past all her own personal cares and troubles had had to be stuffed away into a dark cupboard, but now she had leisure to take them out and mourn over them and study their nature and seek the true method of subduing them into the elements of peace. All these weeks she had been conscious of their existence in a dull kind of way, though they were hidden out of sight. Now, once for all, she would consider them and point to each of them its right work in her life. So she sat almost motionless for hours in the drawing room, going over the bitterness of every remembrance with an unwinsing resolution. Only once she cried aloud at the stinging thought of the faithlessness which gave birth to that abasing falsehood. She now would not even acknowledge the force of the temptation. Her plans for Frederick had all failed and the temptation lay there a dead mockery, a mockery which had never had life in it. Her lie had been so despicably foolish, seen by the light of the ensuing events and faith in the power of truth so infinitely the greater wisdom. In her nervous agitation, she unconsciously opened a book of her fathers that lay upon the table. The words that caught her eye in it seemed almost made for her present state of acute self-abasement. The way of humility. I would like to correct it by voice of compassion. Horses, my poor heart, we have fallen into the pit which we had resolved to escape. Ah, let us rise up and leave here forever, reclaiming the mercy of God, and hoping in it that he will assist us to no longer be firm. And let us go back to the path of humility. Courage, let us be mischievous on our guard, God will help us. Ah, thought Margaret, that is what I have missed. But courage, little heart, we will turn back and by God's help we may find the lost path. So she rose up and determined at once to set to on some work which should take her out of herself. To begin with, she called in Martha as she passed the drawing room door and going upstairs and tried to find out what was below the grave respectful, servant-like manner which quested over her individual character and obedience that was almost mechanical. She found it difficult to induce Martha to speak of any of her personal interests. But at last she touched the right cord and named Mrs. Thornton. Martha's whole face brightened and on a little encouragement out came a long story of how her father had been an early life connected with Mrs. Thornton's husband. Nay had even been in a position to show him some kindness. What Martha hardly knew for it had happened when she was quite and circumstances had intervened to separate the two families until Martha was nearly grown up when her father having sunk lower and lower from his original occupation as clerk in a warehouse and her mother being dead she and her sister, she used Martha's own expression would have been lost but for Mrs. Thornton who sought them out and thought for them and cared for them. I had had the fever and was but delicate but Mrs. Thornton too they never rested till they had nursed me up in their own house and sent me to the sea and all. The doctors said the fever was catching but they cared none for that. Only Mrs. Fanny and she went visiting these folk that she is going to marry into so though she was afraid at the time it is all ended well. Mrs. Fanny going to be married exclaimed Margaret yes and to a rich gentleman too only he's a deal older than she is his name is Watson and his milk are somewhere out beyond Hailey it's a very good marriage for all he's got such grey hair at this piece of information Margaret was silent long enough for Martha to recover her propriety and with it her habitual shortness of answer she swept up the hearth asked at what time she should prepare tea and quitted the room with the same wooden face with which she had entered it Margaret had to pull herself up from indulging a bad trick which she had lately fallen into of trying to imagine how every event that she heard of in relation to Mr. Thornton would affect him whether he would like it or dislike it the next day she had the little voucher children for their lessons and took a long walk and ended by a visit to Mary Higgins somewhat to Margaret's surprise she found Nicholas already come home from his work the lengthening light had deceived her as to the lateness of the evening he too seemed by his manners to have entered a little more on the way of humility he was quieter and less self-asserting so the old gentleman's away on his travels as he said he little ones tell me so eh, but they're sharpens they are I almost think they beat my own winches for sharpness though mappin' it's wrong to say so and want on them in her grave there's some in the weather I reckon a set spoke of wandering him at the shop yonder is spinning about the world somewhere is that the reason you're so soon at home tonight? asked Margaret innocently thou knowest not about it, that's all said he contemptuously I'm not one with two faces, one for my master and two other for his back I count at the clocks in the town a striking of four I'd leave my work no, young Thornton's good enough for to fight with, but too good for to be cheated it were you who was getting me the place and I thank you for it Thornton's is not a bad mill as times go stand down lad and say you're pretty him to miss Margaret that's right, steady on thy legs and right arm out as straight as a steward one to stop, two to stay three make ready and four away the little fellow repeated a methodist hymn far above his comprehension and point of language but of which the swinging rhythm had caught his ear and which he repeated with all the developed cadence of Parliament when Margaret had duly applauded Nicholas called for another and yet another much to her surprise as she found him thus oddly and unconsciously led to take an interest in the sacred things which he had formerly scouted it was past the usual tea time when she reached home but she had the comfort of feeling that no one had been kept waiting for her and of thinking her own thoughts while she rested instead of anxiously watching another person to learn whether to be grave or gay and she resolved to examine a large packet of letters and pick out those that were to be destroyed among them she came to four or five of Mr. Henry Lennox's relating to Frederick's affairs and she carefully read them over again with the sole intention when she began to ascertain exactly on how fine a chance the justification of her brother hung but when she had finished the last and weighed the pros and cons the little personal revelation of character contained in them forced itself on her notice it was evident enough from the stiffness of the wording that Mr. Lennox had never forgotten his relation to her in any interest he might feel in the subject of the correspondence they were clever letters Margaret saw that in a twinkling but she missed out of them all hearty and genial atmosphere they were to be preserved however as valuable so she laid them carefully on one side when this little piece of business was ended she fell into a reverie and the thought of her absent father ran strangely in Margaret's head this night she almost blamed herself for having felt her solitude and consequently his absence as a relief but these two days had set her up afresh with new strength and brighter hope plans which had lately appeared to her in the guise of tasks now appeared like pleasures the morbid scales had fallen from her eyes and she saw her position in her work more truly if only Mr. Thornton would restore her the lost friendship, nay from time to time to cheer her father as in former days though she should never see him she felt as if the course of her future life though not brilliant and prospect might lie clear and even before her she sighed as she rose up to go to bed in spite of the one steps enough for me in spite of the one plain duty of devotion to her father there lay at her heart an anxiety and a pang of sorrow and Mr. Hale thought of Margaret that April evening just as strangely and as persistently as she was thinking of him he had been fatigued by going about among his old friends and old familiar places he had had exaggerated ideas of the change which his altered opinions might make in his friend's reception of him but although some of them might have felt shocked or grieved or indignant at his falling off in the abstract as soon as they saw the face of the man whom they had once loved they forgot his opinions in himself or only remembered them enough to hold tender gravity to their manner for Mr. Hale had not been known to many he had belonged to one of the smaller colleges and had always been shy and reserved but those who in youth had cared to penetrate to the delicacy of thought and feeling that lay below his silence and indecision took him to their hearts with something of the protecting kindness which they would have shown to a woman and the renewal of this kindness after the lapse of years and an interval of so much change and roughness or expression of disapproval could have done I'm afraid we've done too much said Mr. Bell you're suffering now from having lived so long in that Milton air I am tired said Mr. Hale but it is not Milton air I'm 55 years of age and that little fact of itself accounts for any loss of strength nonsense I'm upwards of 60 and feel no loss of strength either bodily or mental don't let me hear you talking so 55 why you're quite a young man Mr. Hale shook his head these last few years said he but after a minute's pause he raised himself from his half-recomment position in one of Mr. Bell's luxurious easy chairs and said with a kind of trembling earnestness Bell you're not to think that if I could have foreseen all that would come of my change of opinion and my resignation of my living even if I could have known how she would have suffered that I would undo it the act of open acknowledgement that I no longer held the same faith as the church in which I was a priest as I think now even if I could have foreseen that cruelest martyrdom of suffering through the sufferings of one whom I loved I would have done just the same as far as that step of openly leaving the church went I might have done differently and acted more wisely in all that I subsequently did for my family but I don't think God endued me for much wisdom or strength he added falling back into his old position Mr. Bell blew his nose ostentatiously before answering then he said he gave you strength to do what your conscience told you was right and I don't see that we need any higher or holier strength than that or wisdom either I know I have not that much and yet men set me down in their fools books as a wise man an independent character the various idiot who obeys his own simple law of right if it be but in wiping his shoes on a doormat is wiser and stronger than I but what gulls men are there was a pause Mr. Hale spoke first in continuation of his thought about Margaret well about Margaret what then if I die nonsense I often think I suppose the Lennox's will ask her to live with them I try to think they will her aunt Shaw loved her well in her own quiet way but she forgets to love the absent a very common fault what sort of people are the Lennox's he handsome fluent and agreeable Edith a sweet little spoiled beauty Margaret loves her with all her heart and Edith with as much of her heart as she can spare now Hale you know that girl of yours has got pretty nearly all my heart I told you that before of course as your daughter as my goddaughter I took great interest in her before I saw her the last time but this visit that I paid to you at Milton made me her slave I went a willing old victim following the car of the conqueror for indeed she looks as grand and serene as one who has struggled and may be struggling and yet has the victory secure in sight yes in spite of all her present anxieties that was the look on her face and so all I have is at her service if she needs it and will be hers whether she will or no when I die moreover I myself will be her pru Chevalier Sixty and gouty though I be seriously old friend your daughter shall be my principal charge in life and all the help that either my wit or my wisdom or my willing heart can give shall be hers and use her out as a subject for fretting something I know of old you must have to worry yourself about or you wouldn't be happy but you're going to outlive me by many a long year you spare a thin men are always tempting and always cheating death it's the stout floored fellows like me that always go off first if Mr. Bell had had a prophetic eye he might have seen the torch all but inverted and the angel with the grave and composed face standing very nigh reckoning to his friend that night Mr. Hale laid his head down on the pillow on which it never more should stir with life the servant who entered his room in the morning received no answer to his speech drew near the bed and saw the calm beautiful face lying white and cold under the ineffacable seal of death the attitude was exquisitely easy there had been no pain, no struggle the action of the heart must have ceased as he lay down Mr. Bell was stunned by the shock and only recovered when the time came for being angry at every suggestion of his mans a coroner's inquest poo you don't think I poisoned him Dr. Forbes says it is just the natural end of a heart complaint poor old Hale, you wore out that tender heart of yours before it's time poor old friend how he talked of his Wallace pack up a carpet bag for me in five minutes here have I been talking pack it up I say I must go to Milton by the next train the bag was packed the cab ordered the railway reached in twenty minutes from the moment of this decision the London train whizzed by drew back some yards and in Mr. Bell was hurried by the impatient guard he threw himself back in his seat to try with closed eyes to understand how one in life yesterday could be dead today and shortly tears stole out between his grizzled eyelashes of which he opened his keen eyes and looked as severely cheerful as his set determination could make him he was not going to blubber before a set of strangers not he there was no set of strangers only one sitting far from him on the same side by and by Mr. Bell peered at him to discover what manner of man it was that might have been observing his emotion and behind the great sheet of the outspread times he recognized Mr. Thornton why Thornton is at you said he removing hastily to a closer proximity he shook Mr. Thornton vehemently by the hand until the grip ended in a sudden relaxation for the hand was wanted to wipe away tears he had last seen Mr. Thornton in his friend Hale's company I'm going to Milton bound on a melancholy errand going to break to Hale's daughter the news of his sudden death death Mr. Hale dead I hang it to myself Hale is dead but it doesn't make it any more real Hale is dead for all that he went to bed well to all appearance last night and was quite cold this morning when my servant went to call him where I don't understand at Oxford he came to stay with me hadn't been in Oxford this seventeen years and this is the end of it not one word was spoken for above a quarter of an hour then Mr. Thornton said and she and stopped full short Margaret you mean yes I'm going to tell her poor fellow how full his thoughts were of her all last night good God last night only and how immeasurably distant he is now but I take Margaret as my child for his sake I said last night I would take her for her own sake while I take her for both Mr. Thornton made one or two fruitless attempts to speak or he could get out the words what would become of her I rather fancy there will be two people waiting for her myself for one I would take a live dragon into my house to live if by hiring such a chaperone and setting up an establishment of my own I could make my old age happy with having Margaret for a daughter but there are those Lennox's who are they asked Mr. Thornton with trembling interest oh smart London people likely will think they have the best right to her Captain Lennox married her cousin the girl she was brought up with good enough people I dare say and there is her aunt Mrs. Shaw there might be a way open perhaps by my offering to marry that worthy lady but that would be quite a piss-olar and then there is that brother what brother a brother of her aunts no no a clever Lennox the captain is a fool you must understand a young barrister who will be setting his cap at Margaret I know he has had her in his mind this five years or more one of his chums told me as much and he was only kept back by her want of fortune now that will be done away with how asked Mr. Thornton too earnestly curious to be aware of the impertnence of his question well she'll have my money at my death and if this Henry Lennox is half good enough for her and she likes him well I might find another way of getting a home through a marriage I'm dreadfully afraid of being tempted at an unguarded moment by the aunt neither Mr. Bell nor Mr. Thornton was in a laughing humor so the oddity of any of the speeches which the former made was unnoticed by them Mr. Bell whistled without emitting any sound beyond a long hissing breath changed his seat without finding comfort or rest while Mr. Thornton sat immovably still his eyes fixed on one spot in the newspaper which he had taken up in order to give himself leisure to think where have you been and asked Mr. Bell at length to have Ray trying to detect the secret of the great rise and the price of cotton ooh cotton speculations and smoke well cleansed and well cared for machinery and unwashed and neglected hands poor old hail if you could have known the change which it was to him from Helston do you know the new forest at all yes very shortly I can't see the difference between Ed and Milton what part were you in were you ever at Helston a little picturesque village like some in the Oldenwald you know Helston I have seen it it was a great change to leave it and come to Milton he took up his newspaper with a determined air as if resolved to avoid further conversation and Mr. Bell was feigned to resort to his former occupation of trying to find out how he could best break the news to Margaret she was at an upstairs window she saw him alight she guessed the truth with an instinctive flash she stood in the middle of the drawing room as if arrested in her first impulse to rush downstairs and as if by the same restraining thought she had been turned to stone so white and immovable was she oh don't tell me I know it from your face you would not have left him if he were alive oh papa chapter 42 recording by Leanne Howlett chapter 42 of north and south this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Leanne Howlett north and south by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell chapter 42 alone alone when some beloved voice that was to you both sound and sweetness fail suddenly and silence against which you dare not cry aches around you like a strong disease and new what hope, what help what music will undo that silence to your sense mrs. Browning the shock had been great Margaret fell into a state of prostration which did not show itself in sobs and sobs and tears or even find the relief of words she lay on the sofa with her eyes shut never speaking but when spoken to and then replying in whispers Mr. Bell was perplexed he dared not leave her he dared not ask her to accompany him back to Oxford which had been one of the plans he had formed on the journey to Milton her physical exhaustion was evidently too complete for her to undertake any such fatigue putting the sight that she would have to encounter out of the question Mr. Bell sat over the fire considering what he had better do Margaret lay motionless and almost breathless by him he would not leave her even for the dinner which Dixon had prepared for him downstairs and with sobbing hospitality would feign have tempted him to eat he had a plate full of something brought up to him in general he was particular and dainty enough and knew well each shade of flavor in his food but now the devil chicken tasted like sawdust so he picked up some of the fowl for Margaret and peppered and salted it well but when Dixon, following his directions tried to feed her the language shake of head proved that in such a state as Margaret was in food would only choke not nourish her Mr. Bell gave a great sigh lifted up his stout old limbs stiff with traveling from their easy position and followed Dixon out of the room I can't leave her I must write to them at Oxford if any questions are made they can be getting on with these till I arrive can't Mrs. Linux come to her I'll write and tell her she must the girl must have some woman friend about her if only to talk her into a good fit of crying Dixon was crying enough for two but after wiping her eyes and steadying her voice she managed to tell Mr. Bell that Mrs. Linux was too near her confinement to be able to undertake any journey at present well she must have Mrs. Shaw she's come back to England isn't she yes sir she's come back but I don't think she will like to leave Mrs. Linux at such an interesting time said Dixon who did not much approve of a stranger entering the household to share with her at her ruling care of Margaret interesting time Mr. Bell restricted himself to coughing over the end of his sentence she could be content to be at Venice or Naples or some of those Popish places at the last interesting time which took place in Corfu I think and what does that little prosperous woman's interesting time signify in comparison with that poor creature there that hopeless, homeless, friendless Margaret lying is still on that sofa as if it were an altar tomb and she the stone statue on it I tell you Mrs. Shaw shall come see that a room or whatever she wants is got ready for her by tomorrow night I'll take care she comes accordingly Mr. Bell wrote a letter which Mrs. Shaw declared with many tears to be so like one of her dear generals when he was going to have a fit of the gout that she should always value and preserve it if he had given her the option by requesting or urging her as if a refusal were possible she might not have come true and sincere as with her sympathy with Margaret it needed the sharp uncourteous command to make her conquer her vis and urshe and allow herself to be packed by her maid after the latter had completed the boxes Edith all cap shawls and tears came out to the top of the stairs as Captain Lennox was taking her mother down to the carriage don't forget mama Margaret must come and live with us Shalto will go to Oxford on Wednesday and you must send word by Mr. Bell to him when we're to expect you and if you want Shalto he can go on from Oxford to Milton don't forget mama you are to bring back Margaret Edith re-entered the drawing room Mr. Henry Lennox was there cutting open the pages of a new review without lifting his head he said if you don't like Shalto to be so long absent from you Edith I hope you will let me go down to Milton and give what assistance I can oh thank you said Edith I dare say old Mr. Bell will do everything he can and more help may not be needed only one does not look for much Savoy Fair from a resident fellow dear darling Margaret wouldn't be nice to have her here again you were both great allies years ago were we? asked he indifferently with an appearance of being interested in a passage in the review well perhaps not I forget I was so full of Shalto but doesn't it fall out well that if my uncle was to die it should be just now when we are come home and settled in the old house and quite ready to receive Margaret poor thing what a change it will be to her from Milton I'll have new chants for her bedroom and make it look new and bright in the same spirit of kindness Mrs. Shaw journeyed to Milton occasionally dreading the first meeting and wondering how it would be got over but more frequently planning how soon she could get Margaret away from that hard place and back into the pleasant comforts of Harley Street oh dear she said to her maid look at those chimneys my poor sister Hale I don't think I could have rested at Naples if I had known what it was I must have come and fetched her and Margaret away and to herself she acknowledged that she had always thought her brother-in-law rather a weak man but never so weak as now when she saw for what a place he had exchanged the lovely Halston home Margaret had remained in the same state white, motionless, speechless, tearless they had told her that her aunt Shaw was coming but she had not expressed either surprise or pleasure or dislike to the idea Mr. Bell whose appetite had returned and who appreciated Dickson's endeavors to gratify it in vain urged upon her to taste some sweet bread stewed with oysters she shook her head with the same quiet obstinacy as on the previous day and he was obliged to console himself for her rejection by eating them all himself but Margaret was the first to hear the stopping of the cab that brought her aunt from the railway station her eyelids quivered her lips colored and trembled Mr. Bell went down to meet Mrs. Shaw and when they came up Margaret was standing trying to study her dizzy self and when she saw her aunt she went forward to the arms open to receive her and first found the passionate relief of tears on her aunt's shoulder all thoughts of quiet habitual love of tenderness for years of relationship to the dead all that inexplicable likeness and look, tone, and gesture that seemed to belong to one family in which reminded Margaret so forcibly at this moment of her mother came in to melt and soften her numbed heart into the overflow of warm tears Mr. Bell stole out of the room and went down into the study where he ordered a fire and tried to divert his thoughts by taking down and examining the different books each volume brought a remembrance or suggestion of his dead friend it might be a change of employment from his two days work of watching Margaret but it was no change of thought he was glad to catch the sound of Mr. Thornton's voice making inquiry at the door Dixon was rather cavalierly dismissing him for with the appearance of Mrs. Shaw's maid came visions of former grandeur of the Beresford blood of the station so she was pleased to term it from which her young lady had been ousted and to which she was now pleased God to be restored these visions which she had been dwelling on with complacency in her conversation with Mrs. Shaw's maid skillfully eliciting meanwhile all the circumstances of state and consequence connected with the Harley Street establishment for the edification of the listening Martha made Dixon rather inclined to be supercilious in her treatment of any inhabitant of Milton so though she always stood rather in awe of Mr. Thornton she was as curt as she durst be in telling him that he could see none of the inmates of the house that night it was rather uncomfortable to be contradicted in her statement by Mr. Bell's opening the study door and calling out Thornton, is that you? come in for a minute or two I want to speak to you so Mr. Thornton went into the study and Dixon had to retreat into the kitchen and reinstate herself in her own esteem by a prodigious story of Sir John Bearsford's coach and six when he was high sheriff I don't know what I wanted to say to you after all only it's dull enough to sit in a room where everything speaks to you of a dead friend yet Margaret and her aunt must have the drawing room to themselves is Mrs. is her aunt come? asked Mr. Thornton come? yes, maid and all thought she might have come by herself at such a time and now I shall have to turn out and find my way to the Clarendon you must not go to the Clarendon we have five or six empty bedrooms at home well aired I think you may trust my mother for that then I'll only run upstairs and wish that one girl good night and make my voucher her aunt and go off with you straight Mr. Bell was some time upstairs Mr. Thornton began to think it long for he was full of business and had hardly been able to spare the time for running up to Crampton inquiring how Miss Hale was when they had set out upon their walk Mr. Bell said I was kept by those women in the drawing room Mrs. Shaw is anxious to get home on account of her daughter she says and wants Margaret to go off with her at once now she is no more fit for traveling than I am for flying besides she says and very justly that she has friends she must see that she must wish could buy to several people and then her aunt worried her about old claims and was she forgetful of old friends and she said with a great burst of crying she should be glad enough to go from a place where she had suffered so much now I must return to Oxford tomorrow and I don't know on which side of the scale to throw in my voice he paused as if asking a question but he received no answer from his companion the echo of whose thoughts kept repeating where she had suffered so much yes and that was the way in which this 18 months in Milton to him so unspeakably precious down to its very bitterness which was worth all the rest of life's sweetness would be remembered neither loss of father nor loss of mother dear as she was to Mr. Thornton could have poisoned the remembrance of the weeks the days the hours when a walk of two miles every step of which was pleasant as it brought him nearer and nearer to her took him to her sweet presence as each recurring moment that bore him away from her made him recall some fresh grace in her demeanor or pleasant pungency in her character yes whatever had happened to him external to his relation to her he could never have spoken of that time when he could have seen her every day when he had her within his grasp as it were as a time of suffering it had been a royal time of luxury to him with all its stings and contumalies compared to the poverty that crept round the anticipation of the future down to sorted fact and life without an atmosphere of either hope or fear Mrs. Thornton and Fanny were in the dining room the latter in a flutter of small exultation as the maid held up one glossy material after another to try the effect of the wedding dresses by candlelight her mother really tried to sympathize with her but could not neither taste nor dress were in her line of subjects and she heartily wished that Fanny would have the wedding clothes provided by some first rate London dressmaker without the endless troublesome discussions and unsettled wavering that arose out of Fanny's desire to choose and super intend everything herself Mr. Thornton was only too glad to mark his grateful approbation of any sensible man who could be captivated by Fanny's second rate heirs and graces by giving her ample means for providing herself with the finery which certainly rivaled if it did not exceed the lover estimation when her brother and Mr. Bell came in Fanny blushed and simpered and fluttered over the signs of her employment in a way which could not have failed to draw attention from anyone else but Mr. Bell if he thought about her and her silks and satins at all it was to compare her and them with the pale sorrow he had left behind him sitting motionless with bent head and folded hands in a room where the stillness was so great that you might almost fancy the rush and your straining ears was occasioned by yet hovering round their beloved for when Mr. Bell had first gone upstairs Mrs. Shaw lay asleep on the sofa and no sound broke the silence Mrs. Thornton gave Mr. Bell her formal hospitable welcome she was never so gracious as when receiving her son's friends and her son's house and the more unexpected they were the more honor to her admirable housekeeping preparations for comfort how was Miss Hale she asked about she was broken down by this last stroke as she can be I am sure it is very well for her that she has such a friend as you I wish I were her only friend madam I dare say it sounds very brutal but here have I been displaced and turned out of my post of Comforter and Advisor by a fine lady aunt and their cousins of what not claiming her in London as if she were a lap dog belonging to them and she is too weak and miserable to have a will of her own she must indeed be weak said Mrs. Thornton with an implied meaning which her son understood well but where continued Mrs. Thornton have these relations been all this time that Miss Hales appeared almost friendless and has certainly had a good deal of anxiety to bear but she did not feel interest enough in the answer to her question to wait for it she left the room to make her household arrangements they have been living abroad they have some kind of claim upon her I will do them that justice the aunt brought her up and she and the cousin have been like sisters the thing vexing me you see is that I wanted to take her for a child of my own and I am jealous of these people who don't seem to value the privilege of their right now it would be different if Frederick claimed her Frederick exclaimed Mr. Thornton who is he what right he stopped short in his vehement question Frederick said Mr. Bell in surprise why don't you know he's her brother have you not heard I have never heard his name before where is he who is he surely I told you about him when the family first came to Milton the son who was concerned in that mutiny I never heard of him till this moment where does he live in Spain he's liable to be arrested the moment he sets foot on English ground poor fellow he will grieve in not being able to attend his father's funeral we must be content with Captain Lennox for I don't know of any other relation to summon I hope I may be allowed to go certainly thankfully you're a good fellow after all Thornton Hale liked you he spoke to me only the other day about you at Oxford he regretted he had seen so little of you lately I'm obliged to you for wishing to show him respect but about Frederick does he never come to England he was never he was not over here about the time of Mrs. Hale's death no why was here then I hadn't seen Hale for years and years and if you remember I came no it was some time after that that I came but poor Frederick Hale was not here then what made you think he was I saw a young man walking with Miss Hale one day replied Mr. Thornton and I think it was about that time this young Lennox, the captain's brother he's a lawyer and they were in pretty constant correspondence with him and I remember Mr. Hale told me he thought he would come down do you know, said Mr. Bell, wheeling around and shutting one eye, the better to bring the forces of the other to bear with keen scrutiny on Mr. Thornton's face but I once fancied you had a little tenderness for Margaret no answer no change of countenance and so did poor Hale and not till I had put it into his head I admired Miss Hale everyone must do so she's a beautiful creature said Mr. Thornton driven to bay by Mr. Bell's pernicious questioning is that all you can speak of her in that measured way as simply a beautiful creature only something to catch the eye I did hope you had had nobleness enough in you to make you pay her the homage of the heart though I believe in fact I know you would have rejected you still to have loved her without return would have lifted you higher than all those be they who they may that have never known her to love beautiful creature indeed do you speak of her as you would have a horse or a dog Mr. Thornton's eyes glowed like red embers Mr. Bell said he before you speak so you should remember that all men are not as free to express what they feel as you are for though his heart leaped up as that a trumpet called to every word that Mr. Bell has said and though he knew that what he had said would hence forward bind the thought of the old Oxford fellow closely up with the most precious things of his heart yet he would not be forced into any expression of what he felt towards Margaret he was no mockingbird of praise to try because another extolled what he reverenced and passionately loved to outdo him in laudation so he turned to some of the dry matters business that lay between Mr. Bell and him as landlord and tenant what is that heap of brick and mortar we came against in the yard any repairs wanted no none thank you are you building on your own account if you are I'm very much obliged to you I'm building a dining room for the men I mean the hands I thought you were hard to please if this room wasn't good enough to satisfy you a bachelor I got acquainted with a strange kind of chap and I put one or two children in whom he is interested to school so as I happened to be passing near his house one day I just went there about some trifling payment to be made and I saw such a miserable black frizzle of a dinner a greasy sender of meat at first set me a thinking but it was not till provisions grew so high this winter that I thought me how by buying things wholesale and cooking a good quantity of provisions together he saved him much comfort gained so I spoke to my friend or my enemy, the man I told you of and he found fault with every detail of my plan and in consequence I laid it aside both as impracticable and also because if I forced it into operation I should be interfering with the independence of my men when suddenly this Higgins came to me and graciously signified his approval of a scheme so nearly the same as mine that I might fairly have claimed it and moreover the approval of several of his fellow workmen to whom he had spoken I was a little riled I confessed by his manner and thought of throwing the whole thing overboard to sink or swim but it seemed childish to relinquish a plan which I had once thought wise and well laid just because I myself did not receive all the honor and consequence due to the originator so I coolly took the part assigned to me which is something like that of steward to a club I buy in the provisions wholesale and provide a fitting matron or cook I hope you give good satisfaction in your new capacity are you a good judge of potatoes and onions but I suppose Mrs. Thornton assists you in your marketing not a bit replied Mr. Thornton she disapproves of the whole plan and now we never mention it to each other but I managed pretty well getting in great stocks from Liverpool and being served in butchers meat by our own family butcher I can assure you the hot dinners the matron turns out are by no means to be despised do you taste each dish as it goes in in virtue of your office I hope you have a white wand I was very scrupulous at first in confining myself to the mere purchasing part and even in that I rather obeyed the men's orders conveyed through the housekeeper than went by my own judgment at one time the beef was too large at another the mutton was not fat enough I think they saw how careful I was to leave them free and not to intrude my own ideas upon them so one day two or three of the men my friend Higgins among them asked me if I would not come in and take a snack it was a very busy day but I saw that the men would be hurt if after making the advance I didn't meet them halfway so I went in and I never made a better dinner in my life I told them, my next neighbors I mean for I'm no speech maker how much I'd enjoyed it and for some time whenever that a special dinner recurred in their dietary I was sure to be met by these men with a master there's a hot pot for dinner today when you come if they had not asked me I would no more have intruded on them that I'd have gone to the mess at the barracks without invitation I should think you are rather restraint on your host's conversation they can't abuse the masters while you're there I suspect they take it out on non hot pot days well, here there too we've steered clear of all vexed questions but if any of the old disputes came up again I would certainly speak out my mind next hot pot day but you are hardly acquainted with our Darkshire fellows for all you're a Darkshire man yourself they have such a sense of humor and such a racy mode of expression I am getting really to know some of them now and they talk pretty freely before me nothing like the act of eating for equalizing men dying is nothing to it the philosopher dies sententiously the Pharisee ostentatiously the simple-hearted humbly the poor idiot blindly as a sparrow falls to the ground for an idiot, public and a Pharisee all eat after the same fashion give it an equally good digestion there's theory for theory for you indeed I have no theory I hate theories I beg your pardon to show my penitence will you accept a ten pound note towards your marketing and give the poor fellows a feast thank you but I'd rather not they pay me rent for the oven and cooking places at the back of the mill and we'll have to pay more for the new dining room we have to fall into a charity I don't want donations once led in the principal and I should have people going and talking and spoiling the simplicity of the whole thing people will talk about any new plan you can't help that my enemies if I have any may make a philanthropic fuss about this dinner scheme but you are a friend and I expect you will pay my experiment the respect of silence it is but a new broom at present and sweeps clean enough today we shall meet with plenty of stumbling blocks no doubt end of chapter 42 recording by Leanne Howlett chapter 43 of north and south this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org reading by Robin Cotter October 2007 north and south by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell chapter 43 Margaret's Flitting the meanest thing to which we bid adieu loses its meanness in the parting hour Elliot Mrs. Shaw took as vehement dislike as it was possible for one of her gentle nature to do against Milton it was noisy and smoky and the poor people whom she saw on the streets were dirty and the rich ladies overdressed and not a man that she saw high or low had his clothes made to fit him she was sure Margaret would never regain her lost strength while she stayed in Milton and she herself was afraid of one of her old attacks of the nerves Margaret must remain with her and that quickly this if not the exact force of her words was at any rate the spirit of what she urged on Margaret till the latter weak weary and broken spirited yielded a reluctant promise that as soon as Wednesday was over she would prepare to accompany her aunt back to town leaving Dixon in charge of all the arrangements for paying bills disposing of furniture and shutting up the house before that Wednesday that mournful Wednesday when Mr. Hale was to be interred far away from either of the homes he had known in life and far away from the wife who lay lonely among strangers and this last was Margaret's great trouble for she thought that if she had not given way to that overwhelming stupor during the first sad days she could have arranged things otherwise before that Wednesday Margaret received a letter from Mr. Bowell my dear Margaret I did mean to have returned to Milton on Thursday but unluckily it turns out to be one of the rare occasions when we Plymouth Fellows are called upon to perform any kind of duty and I must not be absent from my post Captain Lennox and Mr. Thornton are here the former seems a smart well-meaning man to go over to Milton and assist you in any search for the will of course there is none or you would have found it by this time if you followed my directions then the Captain declares he must take you and his mother-in-law home and in his wife's present state I don't see how you can expect him to remain away longer than Friday however that Dixon of yours is trusty and can hold her or your own till I come I will put matters into the hands of my Milton attorney if there is no will for I doubt this smart Captain is no great man of business nevertheless his mustachios are splendid there will have to be a sale so select what things you wish reserved or you can send a list afterwards now two things more and I have done you know or if you don't your poor father did that you were to have my money and goods when I die I mean to die yet but I name this lust to explain what is coming these Lanix's seem very fond of you now and perhaps may continue to be perhaps not so it is best to start with a formal agreement namely that you were to pay them two hundred and fifty pounds a year as long as you and they find it pleasant to live together this of course includes Dixon mind you don't be cajoled into paying any more for her then you won't be thrown adrift if someday the Captain wishes to have his house to himself but you can carry yourself and your two hundred and fifty pounds off somewhere else if indeed I have not claimed you to come and keep house for me first then as to dress and Dixon and personal expenses and confectionary all young ladies eat confectionary till wisdom comes by age I shall consult some lady of my acquaintance and see how much you will have from your father before fixing this now Margaret have you flown out before you have read this far and wondered what right the old man has to settle your affairs for you so cavalierly I make no doubt you have yet the old man has a right he has loved your father for five and thirty years he stood beside him on his wedding day he closed his eyes in death moreover he is your godfather and as he cannot do you much good having a hidden consciousness of your superiority in such things he would feign do you the poor good of endowing you materially and the old man has not a known relation on earth who is there to mourn for Adam Bell and his whole heart is set and bent upon this thing and Margaret Hale is not the girl to say him nay right by return if only two lines to tell me your answer but no thanks Margaret took up a pen and scrawled with trembling hand Margaret Hale is not the girl to say him nay in her weak state she could not think of any other words and yet she was vexed to use these but she was so much fatigued even by this slight exertion that if she could have thought of another form of acceptance she could not have stayed up to write a syllable of it she was obliged to lie down again my dearest child has that letter vexed or troubled you no, Margaret said feebly I shall be better when tomorrow is over I feel sure darling you won't be better till I get you out of this horrid air how you can have borne at these two years I can't imagine where could I go to I could not leave Papa and Mama well don't distress yourself my dear I dare say it was all for the best only I had no conception of how you were living or Butler's wife lives in a better house than this it is sometimes very pretty in summer you can't judge by what it is now I've been very happy here and Margaret closed her eyes by way of stopping the conversation the house teamed with comfort now compared to what it had done the evenings were chilly and by Mrs. Shaw's directions fires were lighted in every bedroom she petted Margaret in every possible way and bought every delicacy or soft luxury in which she herself would have burrowed and sought comfort but Margaret was indifferent to all these things or if they forced themselves upon her attention it was simply as causes for gratitude to her aunt who was putting herself so much out of her way to think of her she was restless though so weak all the day long she kept herself from thinking of the ceremony which was going on at Oxford by wandering from room to room and languidly setting aside such articles as she wished to retain Dixon followed her by Mrs. Shaw's desire ostensibly to receive instructions but with a private injunction to soothe her and to repose as soon as might be these books Dixon I will keep all the rest will you send to Mr. Bell they are of a kind that he will value for themselves as well as for Papa's sake with this I should like you to take this to Mr. Thornton after I am gone stay I will read a note with it and she sat down hastily as if afraid of thinking and wrote Dear sir the accompanying book I am sure will be valued by you for the sake of my father to whom it belonged yours sincerely Margaret Hale she set out again upon her travels through the house turning over articles known to her childhood with a sort of caressing reluctance to leave them old-fashioned, worn and shabby as they might be but she hardly spoke again and Dixon's report to Mrs. Shaw was that she doubted whether Miss Hale heard a word of what she said though she talked the whole time in order to divert her attention the consequence of being on her feet all day was excessive bodily weariness in the evening and a better night's rest than since she had heard of Mr. Hale's death at breakfast time the next day she expressed her wish to go and bid one or two friends goodbye Mrs. Shaw objected I am sure my dear you can have no friends here with whom you are sufficiently intimate to justify you in calling upon them so soon before you have been at church but today's my only day if Captain Laddix comes this afternoon and if we must if I must really go to-morrow oh yes we shall go to-morrow I am more and more convinced that this air is bad for you and it makes you look so pale and ill besides Edith expects us and she may be waiting me and you cannot be left alone my dear at your age no if you must pay these calls I will go with you Dixon can get us a coach I suppose so Mrs. Shaw went to take care of Margaret she was made with her to take care of the shawls and air cushions Margaret's face was too sad to lighten up into a smile at all this preparation for paying two visits that she had often made by herself at all hours of the day she was half afraid of owning that one place to which she was going was Nicholas Higgins's all she could do was to hope her aunt would be indisposed to get out of the coach and walk up the court and at every breath of wind she was slapped by wet clothes hanging out to dry on ropes stretched from house to house there was a little battle in Mrs. Shaw's mind between ease and a sense of matronly propriety but the former gained the day and with many an injunction to Margaret to be careful of herself and not to catch any fever such as was always lurking in such places her aunt permitted her to go where she had often been before without taking any precaution or requiring any permission Nicholas was out only Mary and one or two of the Boucher children at home Margaret was vexed with herself for not having timed her visit better Mary had a very blunt intellect although her feelings were warm and kind and the instant she understood what Margaret's purpose was in coming to see them she began to cry and sob with so little restraint may any of the thousand little things which had suggested themselves to her as she was coming along in the coach she could only try to comfort her a little by suggesting the vague chance of their meeting again at some possible time in some possible place and bid her tell her father how much she wished if he could manage it that he should come see her when he had done his work in the evening as she was leaving the place then hesitated a little before she said I should like to have some little thing to remind me of Bessie instantly Mary's generosity was keenly alive what could they give and on Margaret's singling out a little common drinking cup which she remembered as the one always standing by Bessie's side with drink for her feverish lips Mary said oh take some at better that only cost four pence I do thank you and she went quickly away while the light caused by the pleasure of having something to give yet lingered on Mary's face now to Mrs. Thornton's thought she to herself it must be done but she looked rather rigid and pale at the thought of it and had hard work to find the exact words in which to explain to her aunt who Mrs. Thornton was and why she should go to bid her farewell for Mrs. Shaw alighted here were shown into the drawing-room in which a fire had only just been kindled Mrs. Shaw huddled herself up in her shawl and shivered what an icy room they had to wait for some time before Mrs. Thornton entered there was some softening in her heart towards Margaret now that she was going away out of her sight she remembered her spirit as shown at various times and places more than the patience with which she had endured long and wearing cares her countenance was blander than usual as she greeted her there was even a shade of tenderness in her manner as she noticed the white, tear-swollen face and the quiver in the voice which Margaret tried to make so steady allow me to introduce my aunt Mrs. Shaw I am going away for Milton tomorrow I do not know if you are aware of it but I wanted to see you once again Mrs. Thornton to apologize for my manner the last time I saw you and to say that I am sure you meant kindly however much we may have misunderstood each other Mrs. Shaw looked extremely perplexed by what Margaret had said thanks for kindness and apologies for failure in good manners but Mrs. Thornton replied Miss Hale, I am glad you do me justice I did no more than I believe to be my duty in remonstrating you as I did I have always desired to act the part of a friend to you I am glad you do me justice and said Margaret blushing excessively as she spoke will you do me justice and believe that though I cannot I do not choose to give explanations of my conduct I have not acted in the unbecoming way you apprehended Margaret's voice was so soft and her eyes so pleading that Mrs. Thornton was for once affected by the charm of manner to which she had hitherto proved herself invulnerable yes, I do believe you let us say no more about it where are you going to reside, Miss Hale? I understood from Mr. Bell that you were going to leave Milton you never liked Milton, you know said Mrs. Thornton with a sort of grim smile but for all that you must not expect me to congratulate you on quitting it where shall you live replied Margaret turning towards Mrs. Shaw my niece will reside with me in Harley Street she is almost like a daughter to me said Mrs. Shaw looking fondly at Margaret and I am glad to acknowledge my own obligation for any kindness that has been shown to her if you and your husband never come to town my son and daughter captain and Mrs. Lennox will I am sure join with me in wishing to do anything in our power to show you attention Mrs. Thornton thought in her own mind that Margaret had not taken much care to enlighten her aunt as to the relationship between the Mr. and Mrs. Thornton towards whom the fine lady aunt was extending her soft patronage so she answered shortly my husband is dead Mr. Thornton is my son I never go to London so I am not likely to be able to avail myself of your polite offers at this instant Mr. Thornton entered the room he had only just returned from Oxford his morning suit spoke of the reason that had called him there John said his mother this lady is Mrs. Shaw Mrs. Hale's aunt I am sorry to say that Mrs. Hale's call is to wish us good-bye you are going then said he in a low voice yes said Margaret we leave to-morrow my son-in-law comes this evening to escort us said Mrs. Shaw Mr. Thornton turned away he had not sat down and now he seemed to be examining something on the table almost as if he had discovered an unopened letter which had made him forget the present company he did not even seem to be aware when they got up to take leave he started forwards however to hand Mrs. Shaw down to the carriage as it drove up he and Margaret stood close together and it was impossible but that the recollection of the day of the riot should force itself into both their minds into his it came associated with the speeches of the following day her passionate declaration that there was not a man in all that violent and desperate crowd for whom she did not care as much as for him and at the remembrance of her taunting words his brow grew stern though his heart beat thick with longing love so said he I put it to the touch once and I lost it all let her go with her stony heart and her beauty how set and terrible her look is now for all her loveliness of feature she is afraid I shall speak what will require some stern repression let her go beauty and heiress as she may be she will find it hard to meet with a truer heart than mine and I will be sure to meet her again with a stern repression of any kind in the voice with which he said good-bye and the offered hand was taken with a resolute calmness and dropped as carelessly as if it had been a dead and withered flower but none in his household saw Mr. Thornton again that day he was busily engaged or so he said Margaret's strength was so utterly exhausted Dixon said she was quite as bad as she had been on the first day she heard of her father's death and she and Mrs. Shaw consulted as to the desirableness of delaying the morrow's journey but when her aunt reluctantly proposed a few days delay to Margaret the latter writhed her body as if in acute suffering and said oh, let us go I cannot be patient here I shall not get well here I want to forget and the arrangements went on and Captain Lennox came and with him news of Edith and the little boy and Margaret found that the indifferent careless conversation of one who, however kind was not too warm and anxious a sympathiser did her good she roused up and by the time that she knew she might expect Higgins she was able to leave the room quietly and await in her own chamber said he as she came in to think of the old gentleman dropping off as he did you might have knocked me down with a straw when they told me Mr. Hale said I him as was good the parson I said they then said I there's as good a man gone as ever lived on this earth let who will be to other and I came to see you and tell you how grieved I were they said you were ill and butter me but you don't look like the same wench and you're going to be a grandlady up in London aren't you not a grandlady said Margaret half smiling well Thornton said says he a day or two ago Higgins have you seen Miss Hale no says I there's a pack of women who won't let me at her but I can bide my time if she's ill she and I knows each other pretty well I'm sorry for the old gentleman's death just because I can't get at her and tell her so and says he you'll not have much time for to try and see her my fine chap she's not for staying with us a day longer nor she can help she's got grand relations and they're carrying her off and we shan't see her no more Mr. said I if I do not see her a four who goes I'll strive to get up to London I'll not be balked of seeing her goodbye by any relations whatsoever but bless you I know you'd come it were only for to humor the meester I let on as if I thought you'd map and leave Milton without seeing me you're quite right said Margaret you only do me justice and you'll not forget me I'm sure if no one else in Milton remembers me I'm certain you will and Papa too look Higgins here is his Bible I've kept it for you I can ill-spare it but I know he would have liked you to have it I'm sure you'll care for it and study what is in it for his sake you may say that if it were the deuces own scribble and you asked me to read in it for your sake and the old gentlemen's I'd do it what ends this Wench I'm not going for to take your brass so do not think it the sound of money passing between us for the children for Boucher's children said Margaret hurriedly they may need it you've no right to refuse it for them I would not give you a penny she said smiling don't think there's any of it for you well Wench I can not but say bless you and bless you and amen of North and South this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Leanne Howlett North and South by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell Chapter 44 Ease, Not Peace a dull rotation never at a stay yesterday's face twin image of today Calper of what each one should be he sees the form and rule until he reached to that his joy can never be full Ruckert it was very well for Margaret that the extreme quiet of the Harley Street House during Edith's recovery from her confinement and the natural rest which she needed it gave her time to comprehend the sudden change which had taken place in her circumstances within the last two months she found herself at once an inmate of a luxurious house where the bare knowledge of the existence of every trouble or care seemed scarcely to have penetrated the wheels of the machinery of daily life were well oiled and went along with delicious smoothness Mrs. Shaw and Edith could hardly make enough of Margaret on her return to what they persisted in calling her home and she felt that it was almost ungrateful in her to have a secret feeling that the Hellston vicarage nay, even the poor little house at Milton with her anxious father and her invalid mother and all the small household cares of comparative poverty composed her idea of home Edith was impatient to get well in order to fill Margaret's bedroom with all the soft comforts and pretty knickknacks with which her own abounded Mrs. Shaw and her maid found plenty of occupation in restoring Margaret's wardrobe to a state of elegant variety Captain Lennox was easy kind and gentlemanly sat with his wife in her dressing room an hour or two every day played with his little boy for another hour and lounged away the rest of his time at his club when he was not engaged out to dinner just before Margaret had recovered from her necessity for quiet and repose before she had begun to fill her life wanting and dull Edith came downstairs and resumed her usual part in the household and Margaret fell into the old habit of watching and admiring and ministering to her cousin she gladly took all charge of the semblances of duties off Edith's hands answered notes, reminded her of engagements tended her when no gaiety was in prospect and she was consequently rather inclined to fancy herself ill but all the rest of the family were in the full business of the London season and Margaret was often left alone then her thoughts went back to Milton with a strange sense of the contrast between the life there and here she was getting surfeted of the eventless ease in which no struggle or endeavor was required she was afraid lest she should even become sleepily deadened into forgetfulness of anything beyond the life which was lapping her round with luxury there might be toilers and moillers there in London but she never saw them the very servants lived in an underground world of their own of which she knew neither the hopes nor the fears they only seemed to start into existence when some want or whim of their master and mistress needed them there was a strange unsatisfied vacuum in Margaret's heart and mode of life and once when she had dimly hinted this to Edith, the latter wearyed with dancing the night before languidly stroked Margaret's cheek as she sat by her in the old attitude she on a footstool by the sofa where Edith lay poor child said Edith it is a little sad for you to be left night after night just at this time when all the world is so gay but we shall be having our dinner parties soon as soon as Henry goes back from circuit and then there will be a little pleasant variety for you no wonder it is moped poor darling Margaret did not feel as if the dinner parties would be a panacea but Edith piqued herself on her dinner parties so different as she said from the old dowager dinners under Mama's regime and Mrs. Shaw herself seemed to take exactly the same kind of pleasure in the very different arrangements in circle of acquaintances which were to captain in Mrs. Lenox's taste as she did in the more formal and ponderous entertainments which she herself used to give captain Lenox was always extremely kind and brotherly to Margaret she was really very fond of him accepting when he was anxiously attentive to Edith's dress and appearance with a view to her beauty making a sufficient impression on the world then all the latent Vashti and Margaret was roused and she could hardly keep herself from expressing her feelings the course of Margaret's day was this a quiet hour or two before late breakfast an unpunctual meal lazily eaten by weary and half-awake people but yet at which and all its dragged out length she was expected to be present because directly afterwards came a discussion of plans at which although they none of them concerned her she was expected to give her sympathy if she could not assist with her advice an endless number of notes to write which Edith invariably left to her with many caressing compliments as to her eloquence do billet a little play was shaltow as he returned from his morning's walk besides the care of the children during the servant's dinner a driver callers and some dinner or morning engagement for her aunt and cousins which left Margaret free it is true but rather weird with the inactivity of the day coming upon depressed spirits and delicate health she looked forward with longing though unspoken interest to the only object of Dixon's return from Milton where until now the old servant had been busily engaged in winding up all the affairs of the Hale family it had appeared a sudden famine to her heart this entire cessation of any news respecting the people amongst whom she had lived so long it was true that Dixon and her business letters quoted every now and then an opinion of Mr. Thornton's as to what she had better do about the furniture or how act in regard to the landlord of the Crempton Terrace House but it was only here and there that the name came in or any Milton name indeed and Margaret was sitting one evening all alone in the Lennox's drawing room not reading Dixon's letters which yet she held in her hand but thinking over them and recalling the days which had been and picturing the busy life out of which her own had been taken and never missed wondering if all went on in that world as if she and her father had never been questioning within herself if no one in all the crowd missed her not Higgins, she was not thinking of him when suddenly Mr. Bell was announced and Margaret hurried the letters into her work basket and started up blushing as if she had been doing some guilty thing oh Mr. Bell I never thought of seeing you but you give me a welcome I hope as well as that very pretty start of surprise have you dined how did you come let me order you some dinner if you're going to have any otherwise you know there is no one who cares less for eating than I do but where are the others gone out to dinner left you alone oh yes and it is such a rest I was just thinking but will you run the risk of dinner I don't know if there's anything in the house why to tell you the truth I dined at my club only they don't cook as well as they did so I thought if you were going to dine I might try and make out my dinner but never mind never mind there aren't ten cooks in England to be trusted at impromptu dinners if their skill and their fires will stand their tempers won't you shall make me some tea Margaret and now what were you thinking of you were going to tell me whose letters were those got daughter that you hid away so speedily only Dickson's replied Margaret I'm very read who is that all who do you think came up in the train with me I don't know said Margaret resolved against making a guess your what do you call him what's the right name for a cousin and a law's brother Mr. Henry Lennox asked Margaret yes replied Mr. Bell you knew him formerly didn't you what sort of a person is he Margaret I liked him long ago said Margaret glancing down for a moment and then she looked straight up and went on in her natural manner you know we have been corresponding about Frederick since but I have not seen him for nearly three years and he may be changed what did you think of him I don't know he was so busy trying to find out who I was in the first instance and what I was in the second that he never let out what he was unless indeed that veiled curiosity of his as to what manner of man he had to talk to was not a good piece and a fair indication of his character do you call him good-looking Margaret no certainly not do you not I but I thought perhaps you might is he a great deal here I fancy he is when he is in town he has been on circuit now since I came Mr. Bell have you come from Oxford or from Milton from Milton don't you see I'm smoke dried certainly but I thought that it might be the effect of the antiquities of Oxford come now be a sensible woman in Oxford I could have managed all the landlords in the place and had my own way with half the trouble your Milton landlord has given me and defeated me after all he won't take the house off our hands and I'll be there in June 12 month luckily Mr. Thornton found a tenant for it why don't you ask after Mr. Thornton Margaret he has proved himself a very active friend of yours I can tell you taken more than half the trouble off my hands and how is he how is Mrs. Thornton asked Margaret hurriedly and below her breath though she tried to speak out I suppose they're well I've been staying at their house till I was driven out of it by the perpetual clack about that Thornton girl's marriage it was too much for Thornton himself though she was his sister he used to go and sit in his own room perpetually he's getting past the age for caring for such things either as principle or accessory I was surprised to find the old lady falling into the current and carried away by her daughter's enthusiasm for orange blossoms and lace I thought Mrs. Thornton had been made of sterner stuff she would put on any assumption of feeling to veil her daughter's weakness said Margaret in a low voice perhaps so you've studied her have you she doesn't seem over fond of you Margaret I know it said Margaret oh here is tea at last exclaimed she as if relieved and with tea came Mr. Henry Lennox who had walked up to Harley Street after a late dinner and had evidently expected to find his brother and sister-in-law at home Margaret suspected him of being as thankful as she was at the presence of a third party on this their first meeting since the memorable day of his offer and her refusal at Helston she could hardly tell what to say at first and was thankful for all the tea table occupations which gave her an excuse for keeping silence and him an opportunity of recovering himself for to tell the truth he'd rather forced himself up to Harley Street this evening with a view of getting over an awkward meeting awkward even in the presence of Captain Lennox and Edith and doubly awkward now that he found her the only lady there and the person to whom he most naturally and perforce address a great part of his conversation she was the first to recover her self-possession she began to talk on the subject which came uppermost in her mind after the first flush of awkward shyness Mr. Lennox I have been so much obliged to you for all you have done about Frederick I am only sorry it has been so unsuccessful replied he with a quick glance towards Mr. Bell as if re-conordering how much he might say before him Margaret as if she read his thought addressed herself to Mr. Bell both including him in the conversation and implying that he was perfectly aware of the endeavors that had been made to clear Frederick that Horrocks that very last witness of all has proved as unavailing as all the others Mr. Lennox has discovered that he sailed for Australia only last August only two months before Frederick was in England and gave us the names of Frederick in England you never told me that exclaimed Mr. Bell in surprise I thought you knew I never doubted you had been told of course it was a great secret and perhaps I should not have named it now said Margaret a little dismayed I have never named it to either my brother or your cousin with a little professional dryness of implied reproach never mind Margaret I am not living in a talking babbling world nor yet among people who are trying to worm facts out of me you needn't look so frightened because you have let the cat out of the bag to a faithful old hermit like me I shall never name his having been in England I shall be out of temptation for no one will ask me stay interrupting himself rather abruptly was it at your mother's funeral he was with Mama when she died said Margaret softly to be sure to be sure why someone asked me if he had not been over there then and I denied it stoutly not many weeks ago who could it have been oh I recollect but he did not say the name and although Margaret would have given much to know if her suspicions were right and it had been Mr. Thornton who had made the inquiry she could not ask the question of Mr. Bell much as she longed to do so there was a pause for a moment or two then Mr. Lennox said addressing himself to Margaret I suppose as Mr. Bell is now acquainted with all the circumstances attending your brother's unfortunate dilemma I cannot do better than inform him exactly how the research into the evidence we once hoped to produce in his favor stands at present so if he will do me the honor to breakfast with me tomorrow we will go over the names of these missing gentry I should like to hear all the particulars if I may cannot you come here I dare not ask you both to breakfast though I am sure you would be welcome but let me know all I can about Frederick even though there may be no hope at present I have an engagement at half past eleven but I will certainly come if you wish it replied Mr. Lennox with a little after thought of extreme willingness which made Margaret shrink into herself as she had not proposed her natural request Mr. Bell got up and looked around him for his hat which had been removed to make room for tea well said he I don't know what Mr. Lennox is inclined to do but I am disposed to be moving off homewards I've been a journey today and journeys begin to tell upon my sixty and odd years I believe I shall stay and see my brother and sister said Mr. Lennox making no movement of departure Margaret was seized with a shy awkward dread of being left alone with him the scene on the little terrace in the Helston garden was so present to her that she could hardly help believing it was so with him don't go yet please Mr. Bell said she hastily I want you to see Edith and I want Edith to know you please said she laying a light but determined hand on his arm he looked at her and saw the confusion stirring in her countenance sat down again as if her little touch had been possessed of resistless strength you see how she overpowers me Mr. Lennox said he and I hope you notice the happy choice of her expressions she wants me to see this cousin Edith who I am told is a great beauty but she has the honesty to change her word when she comes to me Mrs. Lennox is to know me I suppose I am not much to see a Margaret he joked to give her time to recover from the slight flutter which he had detected in her manner on his proposal to leave and she caught the tone and threw the ball back Mr. Lennox wondered how his brother the captain could have reported her as having lost all her good looks to be sure in her quiet black dress she was a contrast to Edith dancing in her white crepe mourning and long floating golden hair all softness and glitter she dimpled and blushed most becomingly Bell conscious that she had her reputation as a beauty to keep up and that it would not do to have a mordecai refusing to worship and admire even in the shape of an old fellow of a college which nobody had ever heard of Mrs. Shaw and Captain Lennox each in their separate way gave Mr. Bell a kind and sincere welcome winning him over to like them almost in spite of himself especially when he saw how naturally Margaret took her place as sister and daughter of the house what a shame that we were not at home to receive you said Edith you too Henry though I don't know that we should have stayed at home for you and for Mr. Bell for Margaret's Mr. Bell there is no knowing what sacrifices you would not have made said her brother-in-law even a dinner party and the delight of wearing this very becoming dress Edith did not know whether to frown or to smile but it did not suit Mr. Lennox to drive her to the first of these alternatives will you show your readiness to make sacrifices tomorrow morning first by asking me to breakfast to meet Mr. Bell and secondly by being so kind is to order it at half past nine instead of ten o'clock I have some letters and papers that I want to show to Miss Hale and Mr. Bell I hope Mr. Bell will make our house his own during his stay in London said Captain Lennox I'm only so sorry we cannot offer him a bedroom thank you I am much obliged to you you would only think me a churl if you had for I should decline it I believe in spite of all the temptations of such agreeable company said Mr. Bell bowing all round and secretly congratulating himself on the neat turn he had given to his sentence which, if put into plain language would have been more to this effect I couldn't stand the restraints of such a proper behaved and civil-spoken set of people as these are it would be like meat without salt I am thankful they haven't to bed and how well I rounded my sentence I am absolutely catching the trick of good manners his self-satisfaction lasted him till he was fairly out in the streets walking side by side with Henry Lennox here he suddenly remembered Margaret's little look of entreaty as she urged him to stay longer and he also recollected a few hints given him long ago by an acquaintance of Mr. Lennox's as to his admiration of Margaret it gave a new direction to his thoughts you've known Ms. Hale for a long time I believe how do you think her looking she strikes me as pale and ill I thought her looking remarkably well perhaps not when I first came in now I think of it but certainly when she grew animated she looked as well as ever I saw her do she has had a great deal to go through said Mr. Bell yes I have been sorry to hear of all she has had to bear not merely the common and universal sorrow rising from death but all the annoyance which her father's conduct must have caused her and then her father's conduct said Mr. Bell in an accent of surprise you must have heard some wrong statement he behaved in the most conscientious manner he showed more resolute strength than I should ever have given him credit for formerly perhaps I have been wrongly informed but I have been told by his successor in the living a clever sensible man and a thoroughly active clergyman that there was no call upon Mr. Hale to do what he did relinquish the living and throw himself and his family on the tender mercies of private teaching in a manufacturing town the bishop had offered him another living it is true but if he had come to entertain certain doubts he could have remained where he was and so had no occasion to resign but the truth is these country clergymen live such isolated lives isolated I mean from all intercourse with men of equal cultivation with themselves by whose minds they might regulate their own and discover when they were going either too fast or too slow that they are very apt to disturb themselves with imaginary doubts as to the articles of faith and throw up certain opportunities of doing good for very uncertain fancies of their own I differ from you I do not think they are very apt to do as my poor friend Hale did Mr. Bell was inwardly chafing perhaps I used too general an expression in saying very apt but certainly their lives are such as very often to produce either inordinate self-sufficiency or morbid state of conscience replied Mr. Lennox with perfect coolness you don't meet with any self-sufficiency among the lawyers for instance as Mr. Bell and seldom I imagine any cases of morbid conscience becoming more and more vexed and forgetting his lately caught trick of good manners Mr. Lennox saw now that he had annoyed his companion and as he had talked pretty much for the sake of saying something and so passing the time while their road lay together he was very indifferent as to the exact side he took upon the question and quietly came round by saying to be sure there is something fine in a man of Mr. Hale's age leaving his home of twenty years and giving up all settled habits for an idea that's probably erroneous but that does not matter an untangible thought one cannot help admiring him with a mixture of pity and one's admiration something like what one feels for Don Quixote such a gentleman as he was too I shall never forget the refined and simple hospitality he showed to me that last day at Halston only half modified and yet anxious in order to lull certain qualms of his own conscience to believe that Mr. Hale's conduct had a tinge of kihotism in it Mr. Bell growled out I and you don't know Milton such a change from Halston it is years since I've been at Halston but I'll answer for it it is standing there yet every stick and every stone as it has done for the last century while Milton I go there every four or five years and I was born there yet I do assure you I often lose my way I among the very piles of warehouses that are built upon my father's orchard do we part here well good night sir I suppose we shall meet in Harley street tomorrow morning end of chapter 44 recording by Leanne Howlett chapter 45 of north and south this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Leanne Howlett north and south by Elizabeth Clegghorn Gaskell chapter 45 not all a dream where are the sounds that swam along the buoyant air when I was young the last vibration now is oar and they who listened are no more ah let me close my eyes and dream W.S. Landor the idea of Helston had been suggested to Mr. Bell's waking mind by his conversation with Mr. Lennox and all night long it ran riot through his dreams he was again the tutor in the college where he now held the rank of fellow it was again a long vacation and he was staying with his newly married friend the proud husband and happy vicar of Helston over babbling brooks they took impossible leaps which seemed to keep them whole days suspended in the air not though all other things seemed real every event was measured by the emotions of the mind not by its actual existence for existence it had none but the trees were gorgeous in their autumnal leafiness the warm odors of flower and herb came sweet upon the scents the young wife moved about her house with just that mixture of annoyance at her position as regarded wealth with pride in her handsome and devoted husband which Mr. Bell had noticed in real life the dream was so like life that when he awoke his present life seemed like a dream where was he? in the close, handsomely furnished room of a London hotel where were those who spoke to him moved around him, touched him not an instant ago dead, buried, lost forever more as far as earth forever more would extend he was an old man so lately exultant in the full strength of manhood and the sense of his life was insupportable to think about he got up hastily and tried to forget what never more might be and a hurried dressing for the breakfast in Harley Street he could not attend to all the lawyer's details which as he saw made Margaret's eyes dilate and her lips grow pale as one by one fate decreed or so it seemed every morsel of evidence which would exonerate Frederick should fall from beneath her feet the voice took a softer tenderer tone as he drew near to the extinction of the last hope it was not that Margaret had not been perfectly aware of the result before it was only that the details of each successive disappointment came with such relentless minuteness to quench all hope that she at last fairly gave way to tears Mr. Lennox stopped reading I'd better not go on said he in a concerned voice it was a foolish proposal of mine Lieutenant Hale and even this giving him the title of the service from which he had so harshly been expelled was soothing to Margaret Lieutenant Hale is happy now more secure and fortunate in future prospects than he could ever have been in the Navy and has doubtless adopted his wife's country as his own that is it said Margaret it seems so selfish in me to regret it trying to smile and yet he is lost to me and I am so lonely Mr. Lennox turned over his papers that he was as rich and prosperous as he believed he should be someday Mr. Bell blew his nose but otherwise he also kept silence and Margaret and a minute or two had apparently recovered her usual composure she thanked Mr. Lennox very courteously for his trouble all the more courteously and graciously because she was conscious that by her behavior he might have probably been led to imagine that he had given her needless pain yet it was pain she would not have been without Mr. Bell came up to wish her goodbye Margaret said he as he fumbled with his gloves I am going down to Helston tomorrow to look at the old place would you like to come with me or would it give you too much pain speak out don't be afraid oh Mr. Bell said she and could say no more but she took his old gouty hand and kissed it come come that's enough said he reddening with awkwardness I suppose your aunt Shaw will trust you with me we'll go tomorrow morning and we shall get there about two o'clock I fancy we'll take a snack and order dinner at the little inn the lannard arms it used to be and go get an appetite in the forest can you stand it Margaret it will be a trial I know to both of us but it will be a pleasure to me at least and there will dine it will be but Doe venison if we can get it at all and then I'll take my nap while you go out and see old friends I'll give you back safe and sound and I'll ensure your life for a thousand pounds before starting which may be some comfort to your relations but otherwise I'll bring you back to Mrs. Shaw by lunchtime on Friday so if you say yes I'll just go upstairs and propose it it's no use my trying to say how much I shall like it said Margaret through her tears well then prove your gratitude by keeping those fountains of yours dry for the next two days if you don't I shall feel queer myself about the lacrimal ducks and I don't like that I won't cry a drop said Margaret winking her eyes to shake the tears off her eyelashes and forcing a smile there's my good girl then we'll go upstairs and settle it all Margaret was in a state of almost trembling eagerness while Mr. Bell discussed his plan with her aunt Shaw who was first startled then doubtful and perplexed and in the end yielding rather to the rough force of Mr. Bell's words then to her own conviction for to the last whether it was right or wrong proper or improper she could not settle to her own satisfaction till Margaret's safe return the happy fulfillment of the project gave her decision enough to say she was sure to have been a very kind thought of Mr. Bell's and just what she herself had been wishing for Margaret as giving her the very change which she required after all the anxious time she had End of Chapter 45 Recording by Leanne Howlett