 think you'll live. Wow. And I said okay and what I did at that moment was I remember standing there and with what I do for a living doing makeup and image and beauty and all of that I thought I didn't know what was in store for me I had no idea but I I remember I gave myself a job which is how I sort of handle things so I thought oh I'm supposed to do something with this mind you he's still on the phone talking and I'm like so you had our and you're going to tune him out and I was like I was supposed to do something with this I'm supposed to do something with this and I thought well okay it has to be something with you know beauty and self-image and so you're already reworking this I answer myself a job where I had a diagnosis I mean I had a treatment or anything we had already saw past it I did it's great yes I did and it with you know it turned into something that I was actually called upon to speak at conferences about cancer and beauty and self-image.