 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as The Great Gildesley. It was brought to you transcribed by The Kraft Foods Company. Makers of the one and only Miracle Whip, the famous salad dressing that's so good, it outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Why is Miracle Whip so good? A special Kraft recipe, fine ingredients, and expert blending all help make this the wonderful salad dressing it is. The salad dressing that can make your salads more delicious than ever. Get the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. It's made by Kraft in pursuit of their favorite diversions. Leroy is looking forward to seeing a movie, and his uncle is looking forward to seeing Miss Tuttle. Instead of going to see your girl. Leroy, don't ask silly questions. You're going to miss a peach. No, I'm not. I don't understand why a guy turns down a swell movie just to sit and hold hands with a girl. We don't hold hands? Then you're silly if you don't go to the movie. Watch it, young man. I don't mind admitting that I'm thinking of becoming seriously interested in Miss Tuttle. Uh-huh. Yes, my boy. I hate to see you wasting your time, so maybe I ought to tell you. Tell me what? A snapshot dropped off Miss Tuttle's desk one day and I picked it up. Guess who it was? Her mother? She's wearing a major's uniform and a mustache. Oh, I know about him, Leroy. Yeah? He's a marine and they don't give up easy. He doesn't mean anything to Miss Tuttle. She has his picture on her piano, but she never mentions it. Handsome, huh? Well, uniforms and mustaches do some things for some very homely people. What are you going to get a uniform? Tonight's the night, Grace prompts to let me know if I can take her out New Year's Eve. If she gives me that date, then I'll know where I stand. Well, good evening, Grace. Hello, Throp Morton. Come in. Thank you. Here, I picked these up at the floor. What lovely roses. Here, let me take your hat. Thank you. I see you still have your missile fill up. Oh, I let it stay through the holidays. Why'd you hang it on the mantle over the fireplace? It's so decorative. Well, it has other uses, you know. Really? If a man tried to kiss a girl under that missile, though, he'd catch fire. Now, Throp Morton, you just come away from that fireplace. Yeah, all right. I'll sit over here on the terrace. Excuse me while I put my flowers in some water. You go right ahead. I don't know if she likes me or not. How can I go about sewing up that date for New Year's Eve? Oops. Here's that picture of the major staring at me over his silly mustache. I'll bet he waxes it. What are you frowning at, Throp Morton? Yo, I see you have some new music here. Glowworm. Glowworm. Glowworm. Grace, speaking of glowing, how about glowing out with me on New Year's Eve? I suppose you think I've been awful about that date. Well, I've been happy to wait patiently. Grace, tonight's the last night. Well, really, Throp Morton, I haven't meant to keep you waiting, but... Well, maybe we could talk it over better if there weren't so many people around. What do you mean? Why don't I turn the major's picture to the wall? Two's company, but three's a crowd. Oh, Throp Morton. Yeah, what about it? I'm sure we'll have a wonderful time. You mean I have a date? Mm-hmm. Well... What are you playing? Something for the major. Goodbye forever for 1953. It's Grace and me in 53. Oh, I think you understand. How about the drug store? Oh, I've arrived at Coop once in a while. I had to come down to City Hall today on a tax matter. Are they checking up on you, PB? No, I'm checking up on them. I'm entitled to a refund. You make a mistake, did you? No, I paid them too much on purpose. I like to get money back from the city. Sit down, PB, while I clear my desk. If somebody looks at it, I don't think I can sit that long. You'll only take a minute. I just have to dispose of this unanswered correspondent. Can you get by with stuffing it in the waste paper basket? If it's anything important, they'll write me again. I'm too happy about Miss Tuttle. Miss Tuttle? Grace, I should call her, since she calls me Throp Morton. Well, you're getting on pretty friendly terms. I've been married 30 years and I still call Missus Baby Missus Baby. Well, you never can tell what 1953 will bring. I may be calling Grace Mrs. Gildersley. You don't change. Yeah, I can hardly wait until tonight to see her again. You have a date tonight? Yeah. Oh, I was sort of hoping we could bring out the old junior together. Oh? Mrs. PB is still visiting her mother and I didn't much care to go home and sing old dying's iron with the parrot. Well, Miss Tuttle and I are stepping out. Sorry, PB. Oh, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, Mr. Gildersley. I'm glad you don't. So I'll go with you. You will not! I do say so myself. It makes a man feel pretty good to wear tails, even if it's a short tail like a tuxedo. Your old uncle's dressing for New Year's Eve. Do I look like I'm ready for the crystal room? Keen. What are you going to do, wake tables? Do you know why I'm wearing this tuxedo? What'd you do, bias? Well, not exactly. Relative, huh? If you must know, yes. Boy, get a load of those pet leather shoes. I bought them. Who did you think would get it? That Major. I don't think we'll hear much more about him, my boy. Yeah? Now, let's get downstairs. I'll stand in the way for you. Tuttle is obviously interested. And obviously I'd make a good catch. Oh, brother. It's just on my way over. Happy New Year. Fine. I'm on my way now. Well, who was it? Just somebody wishing us a happy New Year. The man spent New Year's Eve alone in a rented tuxedo. As the night before New Year's and all through the place, all the people were sad, not a smile lit a face. The hostess was treating each guest with great care, hoping for laughter and gaiety there. Then, in a flash, she knew what was the matter. The food she was serving just couldn't taste flatter. So out to her kitchen, she ran straight away for the stuff that would make all her guests holler, yay. Remember, for sandwiches, salads with zip. Don't you forget to serve Miracle Whip. As poetry, that may not be so good, but as advice, it's terrific because Miracle Whip salad dressing makes salads and sandwiches taste so much better. Miracle Whip has a lively, teasing flavor of folks called just exactly right. And it's a flavor no other salad dressing has because Miracle Whip is made from a secret craft recipe, a recipe that combines the qualities of zesty, old-fashioned boil dressing and fine, rich mayonnaise. Miracle Whip has just the texture you want, too. Creamy thick and smooth as satin because it's blended with special craft beaters. Try this wonderful salad dressing. So many people like Miracle Whip so much, it's become the most popular salad dressing ever created and actually outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined. Get Miracle Whip the very next time you shop. Eagerly anticipating New Year's Eve with his new girlfriend, Miss Tuttle, already he was hearing the whistles, ratchets and horns. Then came the sour note. Miss Tuttle phoned and canceled the date. After all my big talk, I can't let Lira know she called it off. I'll have to keep up the pretense and just wander around the streets until after midnight. That's going to be tough to do in these new shoes. My feet burn already. Hey, looks like PB is still open. You wanted me to do something tonight? Right, George, I'll celebrate with PB. He'll appreciate me. Nothing like your old pals on New Year's Eve. Hello, PB. Hello, Mr. Jonas Man. What can I do for you? Nothing, PB. All dandied up for your date, I see. Well, yes. I bet you were just dying to grab a horn and get noisy. Not especially. There's no hurry. I'm just about to close up and go home. You're not in any hurry, are you, PB? There's nothing to stay here for. At least I can go home and talk to his parents. Now, PB, I've decided to take you up on your proposition and spend New Year's Eve with you. How's that? We'll celebrate together. You didn't have to wear your tuxedo for me. No, PB. I'm sorry if your date didn't fan alone. Well, I'm not. What do we do, PB? Where'll we go? Well, I'm not dressed to go out. We could pull the blinds and ice up a coke. Great idea, PB. You break out the cokes and I'll pull the blinds. Pour me another coke. Got it right here and I'll take it. Women can be a lot of trouble. Well, that's for you to say. I'm married. Now, you've taken his tongue. I thought she was true blue. She phoned me at the last minute. You can't count on them. You can count on them to change their mind. Yeah, they hand you one disappointment after another. PB, that's been the history of my life. You had some interesting chapters. I can remember way back when you were in love with the widow ransom. Yeah, that Lila gave me fits. What a woman. Yes, she was. Like I always said, she was the kind of woman that would make a man burn down his house. About four years since I've seen Lila. That's right. She did come back to town, didn't she? Yeah, I was engaged to Adeline Fairchild at the time. She heard about it and arranged a rendezvous with me at the palm room. What's your nice place to rendezvous? I'll never forget. She was waiting behind a potted palm when I walked in. I play peek-a-boo. If you're engaged, I just... Well, I didn't think I should be an engaged man. I hope you understand. Good gracious, yay! Happiness. Thank you. And I hope you can find it with Adeline I bet you're engaged to be married. I bet you'll never think of little old Lila again. I was thinking about that last night. You had you got stuck on a sandbar and want me to get my bathing suit wet. You see your cousin Adeline. Wouldn't you, hon? What did you ever do about that? The two girls. What should he do but back out on both of them? That little show girl helped you to forget, didn't she, Mr. Gildesley? Don't she hit town with her guitar on a... Invited me back to the... Twice thing a couple of songs. But you tell me about yourself, Throckmorton. Are you married? No, I'm a bachelor. But I haven't given up the idea. You're not married? No, I'm a gypsy, I guess. Loved. Throckmorton. Well, summer appeal might be a nice place to settle down. It might be. Well, let me sing you a song about a boy who met a girl in the woods. This is just for you. For me? Oh, when I was a young boy... Now they'll see me. I'll just drop off the edge of the porch. If we pond at midnight, it'd be hard to explain. I really should. I'd ask you in, but a little late. Had a girl, Catherine. My shoes are filling up. He isn't so funny looking. He works for the water department. You bet. And I could turn off your water dock. Go for it, go. The porch swing isn't it? Oh, not for a red-blooded couple like her. Watch it. Well, we'll sit down for a minute. We don't want to catch the sniffles out here. Well, if you do, Dr. Olsen will take your case. Do you prescribe doctor? Well, first I'd advise that you take preventive measures, my dear. Oh? The way to ward off a cold is to keep warm. Oh, now I'm done. Oh, what a sneaky way to operate. That's what I was going to say. And just look at that big yellow harvest moon over there. Doesn't that suggest anything to you? No, he's using my moon. I better be going in. Yeah, get up and go, Catherine. My feet are freezing. Oh, please, Catherine. Just five minutes more. Oh, my goodness. I just have to try to make myself comfortable. What's that? Fish in your pond? Oh, no. There hasn't been a fishing-out pond since I've lived here. That's what she thinks. Cool out of me. Never again. That's my one and only New Year's resolution. I'll never look at another woman. All right. Excuse me, Mr. Little Misty. Can I get anything? Me? Yes, but my date didn't get to town, so I wonder if you'd still care to take me out. Would I? I'll see you later. This is different. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. More appealing, more delicious meals than ever. Is that one of your resolutions this year? Then better make a resolution to always keep Miracle Whip salad dressing on hand, too. Miracle Whip does wonders for salads and sandwiches. Try it. See for yourself why Miracle Whip is America's favorite salad dressing. 53, bring good health and prosperity. Tonight Play You Bet Your Life on NBC.