 Quick announcement, I'm partnering with GamerSupps. If you want to try out some tasty energy drink flavors, you can get some free samples, and they even ship worldwide. If you like it and want more, use the code JOECAT for 10% off. Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit tired of being countered on to do complex tasks that involve more than it takes to eat a bowl of mushy cereal. In fact, I don't even feel motivated to hear what my allies need of me. I'm just gonna sit all the way over here, enjoying my lucky charms, alone. And if things go wrong, I'll have to rely on the ever-reliable American method. I already see absolutely no negative consequences. Welcome to a crap guide to Final Fantasy. I'm sick of having to dodge so many up-close AoEs. The boss keeps doing them, and I have to keep moving away to avoid getting splatted. And then I have to resort to the equivalent of throwing marshmallows that will scratch the enemy about as hard as a massage therapist with germophobia. I'm trying to beat them into submission, not soften their tenders. What's that I hear you say? There's an option to give me the ability to do max deeps, even when I'm disconnected from the boss like an internet provider out in the country? Of course there is, I was just getting to it, and I'll thank you not to interrupt me again. The physical range DPS, or just range for short. Physically throwing my spleen into the splattering range of the near-semi for long is the more mobile and forgiving cousin of the melee, and is the most important person in the party, since you are the least likely to get a commission in the end. And we thank you for providing such a valiant service, as there always needs to be someone in last place. Your role is all about keeping your uptime going, and although yes, every other role is also about trying to do that, you have absolutely no excuse for messing up. The gimmick of the range DPS is that you don't have to worry about any positionals or cast times and can run around the arena like an indecisive artist in a hobby lobby. You get to stay at a safe distance, and if there's ever a pissy puddle underneath your feet, moving out of the way won't risk you doing suboptimal damage. So what's the catch? Nobody gets off scot-free in this game, as all roles have their stonks and stinks. Tanks have the responsibility of dancing with the boss, healers have to share gear models with the magic DPS that have been dyed white, and you will have to suffer the nail-pulling drawback known as the range tax. To balance for the fact that you have nearly no limitations on your mobility, your damage will be on average slightly less than both the melee and magic DPS jobs. And hell, sometimes even some tanks with their openers that'll put down bosses faster than Peter when it finds a stray. The range tax, although real, will make a tiny droplet of difference in the grand scheme of things, and if you pick a range job and feel as though you're being outdone by your peers, odds are you were probably doing badly anyway, and the reason you have trouble jumping over that hurdle was just because your toes were too big and floppy that you would have tripped over every single one so badly anyway, Discovery Channel would decide to make a show about whether or not you're real. Let me summarize, if you do bad, it's a skill issue. Nevertheless, the same rules as any role applies in the fact that you should stay out of the piss puddles wherever possible. Even more so, considering you're wearing healies and by all rights should be able to avoid any and every possible puddle and be the nicest smelling at the party, which is important because the healers only have so much nasal tolerance. Lucky for you, each range also has a bottle of perfume spray that will at least mask the piss smell a bit. The final shared utility in the belt of the Black Man is the Limit Break, which although does not do as much single target damage as the melee, has the benefit of being able to hit multiple targets in a line like a really violent high-five surfer. The range roster is a trio of performers, each one skilled in a different charismatic art, and each one a different flavor of slutty. First is the Bard, where your bow is your harp. Also, your harp is your harp. Because with this job, you get a bunch of instruments you can play, including these obnoxiously loud drums. You are one of the few jobs with the endangered species, known as the Damage Over Time skill, and your main attack involves firing a single arrow repeatedly until a bigger, cooler arrow gets jealous and sometimes acts to be fired too. But not all the time because it's not like it likes to be shot or anything. You also have a bunch of songs to play that will make everyone in the party hear a remix of their opening theme. And everybody knows when the opening kicks on, you deal more damage. Because you're the one playing them, you also get your own special benefits. You filthy, dirty performer, you. A song that sometimes lets you shoot more arrows when it feels like giving you some. A song that makes you shoot faster, and a song that lets you shoot more arrows when it feels like giving you some. But a little bit different. All this arpeggios to a crescendo into a grand finale, where you fire a big ol' arrow. And if you've played all your songs, you have the ability to faceroll your piano and startle your party into doing even more damage. I said hit harder! Now hold on to those notes there, partner. Masaka. For the machinists' main attack, it uses a gun. The most selfish of the range classes, where the name of the game is and the name is labeled on a box called your doom being shipped to the enemy at terminal velocity. What you sacrifice in party buffs you make up for in big having three giant bullets and a bunch of smaller, higher frequency bullets. Doing your normal 123 will get your gun very hot and bothered until it's riled up enough to rapid fire its red hot goodness. And if you make sure to toss your special toy into the mix, it can end in an explosive finish. Keep up that momentum and eventually you can even invite your queen to join in the fun. Hey, I hear she's got multiple frequency settings. All this might make you feel like you're not contributing as much, but no need to be nervous. Lucky for you, this job comes with extra protection. But you are not some simpleton who can be won over by some flashy lights and pretty songs. You want passion, romance, a partner who can live up to your standards. The dancer foregoes buffing the entire party or focusing on doing its own damage and instead picks one party member. One extra special, extra spicy, extra sexy partner in crime to give a super buff in damage in the form of two extra flashy minigames of Simon Says. And then you do a little bit of Lending and sending the bodies, flying, they're dying to birdies that give them birdies. And afterwards, it's just a matter of praying to R and Jesus to bless your twinkle toes because from there it's all coin flips all the time. Your rotation is a one and a two that can coin flip into a three and a four. And both of those can coin flip into either a single target or AOE five, which itself is a coin flip into a possible six. Then once you're in rhythm, your spinnies will kill them. Then dance in the wind like the million ribbons and kicking and flipping the carrions into your ally so they can annihilate all that's left. Yay, now they're dead. And now you know how to play ranged. You're welcome.