 The makers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Psy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Lash, with Alan Reed as best fellow. Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum is a typically American product that appeals to people of all ages and nationalities in all parts of our country. And the Wrigley people feel that Life with Luigi is a typically American radio program. A friendly, enjoyable show that sort of symbolizes the American spirit of tolerance and goodwill. So the makers of refreshing, delicious Wrigley Spearman Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi each week and have you join them in this pleasant half-hours entertainment. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. In a few days is it going to be the finish of all 1950 and the beginning of that little Bambino 1951. I'm going to hope this little fella is going to turn out to be nicer than his papa and is going to make no more wars. Everybody is going to live along. And in 1951 is it going to be so good everybody is going to want it to stay here for the next 100 years. In America, my mama here, New Year's is something like Christmas. Only instead of exchanging a present everybody is exchanging calendars. So far I'm a got a two dozen. Funniest one I'm a got is from Joseph Fullerome. That's to say, happy New Year in the side pocket. Then I'm a got a one from a diploma with a picture of a very pretty girl which I thought I was going to hang in the window, but I didn't because with what she's wearing, if I'm hanging in the window, she's going to freeze it to death. Then I'm also get the one from the bank. And for each day they print a little words of advice like join at a Christmas club now. Start the check and account today. Come in for personal alone. Let's make out to you well. Mamma Mia, if I'm going to listen to that to calendar, I'm going to close up my antique shop and live in the bank. Excuse me, Mamma Mia. I just to see is the time for my night school to class so I'm going to finish this a little later. Was the day after the Christmas and all through the house. Hmm, so nice. It's a nice outside, huh? But I'm going out in a little while because everybody's got a present, even the mouse. Oh, what a nice air, huh? Hey, hello, Astra. The children was asleep in the dream and off in the hills. Papa was down the stairs to figure out how to pay the bills. Hey, hello, Officer Flanagan. Hey, Mr. Basko. Oh, hello, hello, Mr. Postman. Hello, Mr. Basko, glad to cut you. Here's a special delivery letter for you. Oh, huh? Special delivery? Oh, I better open up, huh? How's the post office business? Oh, the same. People right. I walk. Dear Mr. Basko, kindly arrange you to be at your home on a Wednesday even in December 27th. An officer will visit you at that time. Yours is very truly Immigration Department. Mama, me, Immigration Department. How about a hurry up? Hey, well, wait a minute, Mr. Basko. Where are you running? What's the problem? Well, the trouble is I'm running on a watts of the trouble and that's the trouble. Mama, me, I'm a hope of my night school. A class is going to help me out. All right, class, please, let's come to attention. I'll call the roll. Mr. Basko. Present. Mr. Harwitz. Present. Mr. Olsen. Present. Mr. Schultz. My presence you already got, so I shall say here. Yes, and thank you. Now, class, let's get on with our lesson in history. Mr. Harwitz, will you tell us who was Paul Revere? With pleasure. He was a great American patriot. And when did he live? All of his life. Mr. Harwitz, give us the date. Date of his birth and death, please. Oh, he was born in 1700 and something, I think 1773. Uh, your positive that Paul Revere was born in 1773? Uh-huh. Well, in that case, he was two years old when he warned the Americans the British are coming. Yeah, there's nothing in a race like a fast two-year-old. I'm still waiting for the correct answer. Mr. Basko, when was Paul Revere born? What was it? Huh? Oh, now pay attention, Mr. Basko. Mr. Olsen, can you tell us the answer? Miss Wolding, I am surprised that you. Well, of course you know the answer. Will you tell it to us? I will be real happy to. Paul Revere lived from 1735 to 1818. And when did he die? Shorts don't be so funny. Very ingenious, you studied half as hard as I do, you would have less use for stupid tomfoolery. I resent that Olsen tomfoolery is not stupid. He's much smarter than his brother Jackfoolery. All right, Mr. Shorts, all right. Mr. Olsen, you are absolutely correct on Paul Revere's date. Naturally. I like to be perfect in everything I do, Miss Wolding, where it is memorizing a lesson of fixing an old chair. I consider my brain my greatest asset, and I handle it as gently as a smootly running automobile. Tell us Olsen, how many miles does your brain get on a gallon? Mr. Shorts, now Mr. Basko. Huh? Mr. Basko, when Paul Revere excitedly raced on his horse, he was warning everyone of someone's coming. Will you please tell us who was coming? Immigration department. Mr. Basko, what are you talking about? He said the British are coming. I'm going to know if he's a British or Irish, but he's a from immigration department, and maybe he's coming to take me away. Here, read, read, this is the letter. Here, let me see it. First of all, will you be serious? Mr. Basko, there's nothing to be alarmed about. They're probably just coming for a routine check-up. Are you meant they're going to give me a physical? No, no. If you're worried, I'll run down to the department and check for you. And I know someone who's a secretary there. I can run over and find out something. Your whole of it, you ask any favor. I will run and do it to you. He will put everybody running. This ain't a night school, it's a flight school. No, no, you are right. We are all jumping around unjustifiedly. That's right. Mr. Basko, there's nothing to worry about. Now, you'll be in your antique shop, and I'm sure there'll be just a few very ordinary questions which you can answer, and that'll be all. Well, I'm, I'm, I hope you're right, Mr. Sputting. But it's still, I'm, I'm a cancer-helper worrying. Well, perhaps we can figure out a way to help. We've given the immigration department tomorrow. That's not necessary. Mr. Basko will show what a good American he is, and that's all there is to it. Yeah, that's it, just that. While the immigration man is talking to Luigi, we could walk in, pretend we're strangers, and give Luigi a big build-up to show what a great American it's proven to be. Oh, what a wonderful idea. Yeah, I like it. I like it, yeah. Well, friends, friends, and you make them feel very good, but... Well, you think it's a good idea to do that? Well, sure, Luigi. It's a wonderful idea, even though Olsen had something to do with our stop-boying and smile. All right. All right. That's why you might be like me, always happy, always loving. Oh, olsenism is killing me. Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pascale. How are you feeling today, huh? Oh, I'm feeling the chippy as usual, but I'm worried about you little banana nose. But to me, what do you mean? Well, the mailman has told me you got a bad letter from the immigration department. Oh, well, don't worry, Pascale. I've already got advice from my night-school class. Oh, fine advice. You're going to get it from your shipmates. Let me see the letter. All right, then. Here. Pascale, Pascale. Why are you reading foreign in Italian? Well, I don't understand English, so good I just translated it for myself. Oh, it's a bad, a bad, worse than a bad. It's a badder. A badder? Pascale, what are you talking about? Luigi, I hated to tell you these things, but there's a very bad news in this letter. You win the worst of trouble of your life. What do you mean? Luigi, you're going to be sent back to Italy by next week. Next what? How do you know this, Pascale? Well, look at the envelope, Luigi. You see what it says? You'll return in five days. My, my, my. But why, Pascale? Why, why? Why, why, why, Luigi's a croc or a ladder? There are lots of reasons. The first thing could be, they got a balance and a budget. Do you heard of that? Oh, sure, sir. Well, you've been here two years and your life savings about $2. The government knows that and they don't like it. You ain't a saver enough for you a slacker. Yeah, but, but I had a government that knows how much money I'm gonna get. Oh, Luigi, every time you go to the bank and take out money, there's a bank guard peeking over your shoulder. Well, it's so what? So what? So he's the biggest snitcher. That's so what? All of these guys, they belong to the FBI. Sure, federal bank investigators. But Luigi, the money or the budget, they wouldn't be so bad. You really trouble is that you ain't a steady enough for risk. Huh? Sure. There's one thing about the government there. They like a fellow who's got a responsibility, a family man with a deep roots in the ground. But Pascale, how am I gonna get in the ground by tomorrow? Yeah. Barry, my daughter, Rosa. Pascale, that's too deep in the ground. And I'm no one to be buried. I'm no talking about a Barry. I'm talking about a Mary. Well, Rosa is the same thing. Luigi, I should have washed my hands off your face for this, but I don't know, is there something about you just to beat some of me down to a pulp suit? I got a plan for you. Oh, Pascale. I would appreciate this so much if you would have helped me out there. Sure, sure, I know. Anyway, Mrs. Elaine is leaving her little baby with a Rosa tomorrow night. You see, Rosa's the baby sitter. Uh-huh. Well, I bring a Rosa and the baby in her hair and when the immigration man comes, he sees you married with a baby. He thinks you are married a man with a responsibility and you're safe. And if I'm married, then are they not going to send me back? Oh, no. But Pascale, Pascale, you promise that's a no-trick, huh? Immigration a man isn't not going to be just as a piece, and I'm suddenly going to find out that myself married. Luigi, how could you talk like that? When I place such a lowdown on me in a dirty trick like that on you, don't answer that. I promise it's a no-going-to-be. Well, you want a Rosa, should I help you out? What do you say, my son? Pascale, for the one sin of my life, I'm happy to say, yes, papa. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a suggestion that you'll find helpful when you're doing your daily work. Every few hours, chew a stick of delicious, wriggly spearmint gum. You see, chewing, especially chewing on a smooth, good piece of gum, gives you a feeling of comfort and satisfaction. It helps relieve pent-up tension so that you naturally feel better and work better. Then, too, the lively, real spearmint flavor of wriggly spearmint gum tastes good and makes the chewing even more satisfying. So chew, refreshing, delicious, wriggly spearmint gum while you work. You'll find it helpful, and you'll enjoy it. Now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother in it. And I saw mama here. Immigration managers are going to come here tonight. And I'm not too worried. First of all, Hollywood's in a schultz. Are they going to come and give me what you call big build-up? And most of all, I'm going to look like happy married man with a baby. But if Pascale was just to come in and say, if I'm going to really look married, I should not look happy. I'm sure to practice a look and a block and a down. Believe me, mama, I'm going to like to make up these Eliza, but I'm going to make any sacrifice to stay in America, even to play Rose's husband. And mama, me, that's the biggest sacrifice of there is. But anyway, I'm sitting here waiting for immigration, a man, and I threw the window, I see Pascale, and I see him as a stork talking to Rose and telling her how to help her. Mrs. Laney, your baby's in a safer hand. Have a good time in the movies. Thank you very much. I know the baby will be good. Good night. Good night. Well, Rose, now's your big chance. Go in and show Luigi how nice it feels to be married to you. Talk a sweet to him. Hold his hand, break him in a good. I'll sit on his lap. I'll break him in a good. I'll break him in a little piece. If you do a good job, and maybe hear the proposal, I won't have to put the clamps on him. Already, I started the room of you and Luigi as a married. He's got a little baby. You happy baby? Yes, but... It's the only make-believe, huh? All right, all right. But wouldn't it be nice if I have a little bambino of your own? Immigration of fellas are going to think that this baby is a belonging to us. Why not? Well, Rose, you know me, we both have got a black hair. Babies have got a red hair. What are we going to tell an inspector? Oh, shut up, you face. It's a good thing I'm here. Luigi, don't worry. You let me do the talking. All right, the first quality. Hey, how are you, little baby? Eh, eh, eh. Maybe you like something to eat, huh? How you like a smashed-up of banana with the milk, huh? I like to go home. Huh? Then maybe maybe some oatmeal. Well, I don't like it in either, but then I'm going to go to nothing else. Hey, wait, wait. How's about some some pizza, huh? Oh, baby, all right. Don't be just a love infant. Hey, wait, look, here comes somebody. All right, all right. Be calm, relax, and just remember, Luigi, I'll see you while you baby and Rose should stay with danger. Yeah, Papa, this is my wife and my baby. I'd like to see Mr. Luigi Basko. Mr. Oh, you'd like to see Mr. Basko, huh? Yes. That's, that's, that's a me. Well, how do you do, Mr. Basko? I'm from the... We know where you're from. We expected you. How's about a nice piece of fruits cake? Huh? Ah, nice. Here, come on, I've taken plenty into the whole cake. Oh, what a lovely family. I'd like to see nice families, Mr. Basko. It's the sign of a stable person. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Samantha, here, what's this, what's this, a baby's eating? Well, it's a, it's a, it's a piece of toast. But maybe an inch of it is a fall on the top of it. Hmm, he's a nice little baby. He is a boy, isn't he? Huh? I said he's a boy, isn't he? I think so, yes. I think so, too. Well, he's got his father's, uh, hmm, frankly, Mr. Basko. He doesn't look a thing like you. Huh? How was it? Oh, wait, what do you see? When he was a boy, I was out of town. Well, anyway, I hope you understand the responsibility you've undertaken to care for a wife and a child, Mr. Basko. Oh, sure, I'm, I'm, I'm, and I'm aware that you should know that I'm a good citizen, all married up in a set of ladders. Sounds very good. Mr. Basko. Oh, hello, Horowitz. How can we ever praise you enough for what you did? What I did? Oh, oh, sure. Nothing he says. You hear that? Yes. Who do you know who gave four pints of blood to the Red Cross in one day? You gave four pints in one day, Mr. Basko. Well, uh, I was a felt a little full. There stands the greatest man in America today. Goodbye. Mr. Basko, it's a pleasure to hear things like that. Oh, is it nothing? Mr. Basko, you've got to be careful about weakening yourself. You have a responsibility, you know. Oh, sure, I know. And I hope you're protecting that responsibility like any other good American, Mr. Basko, with insurance. Insurance? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I, I, I'ma got a thousand-dollar life in insurance. Only a thousand? Oh, don't worry, Luigi's are going to get a lot more. He's going to take out at least the ten-thousand-dollar's more insurance. Well, that's more like it. You're building out this form as we go along. No, I'm an reminder, as long as you're happy. Yes, as long as you're happy. Here, have another piece of fruit's cake. And if it makes you feel better, you could have considered Luigi good for twenty-five-thousand-dollars insurance. That's an important man, eh? Important enough for me. As a matter of fact, I think our interview can be finished. Oh, that's good. You see, Mr. Basko, I have a great deal of facts about you which you didn't even know I had. But everything is fine now, eh? Mr. Basko, how can we ever thank you enough? It's okay, sir. I have been delegated by the National Office of our YMCA. It's okay, sir. To visit you in person can be the heartfelt gratitude of our entire membership for the ten-thousand-dollar's. This isn't necessary. You have donated for the care of bachelors like yourself. Yeah, but it should stop when I look. The bachelors who look up to you call the American example which you had said. Ah! Did you realize that you get that baby? Where do you think? Rose says he's a wife, and this is a baby. Him or am I for shimmers? Goodbye and thanks for the money you gave to the wife. Well, as I was saying, Mr. Basko, no point in my holding you up any longer. Everything is satisfactory. Sure, sure, you'll hear from us in a few days. We're here to have met such a lovely family. Goodbye! Well, Luigi, now you can see who you owe your gratitudes to. Your friend's almost to ruin you. If it wasn't for me and a rose to the baby, you'd be in Italy by now. Hiya, Baskoia. I'm so thankful to you. I wish I could do something for you. You can. Make it a marriage official. No, no, Baskoia. It's just to make believe it. All right, Luigi, be stubborn, and then I've got to put the clamps on you. You better get married or I'm going to squeal at the immigration of the department that you lie. No, no, Baskoia, you couldn't. Oh, no, Rosa, take a letter. Immigration of Bureau Italian Export Division. Dear Mr. Export, this is the... Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry, but I forgot a little formality. Mr. Basko, would you sign this blank? Well, what do you say, Luigi? Or should I tear up this nice to blank it to say, application for $25,000 a day? Wait a minute. Am I staying you from the immigration company? What are you talking about? I'm from the insurance company. No, Luigi, it's a bike toilet to say Mama Mia. Somebody told me about a young couple with a newborn baby, so I followed it up. Oh, I could have killed myself. Good evening. I'm from the immigration department, and I'm looking for Mr. Luigi Basko. All right, I'm going to give up. What? Believe me, I'm going to lie. I've got no wife, but this baby isn't on mine, and I'm going to never give a four pints of blood until the way I'm a CA. Mr. Basko, I don't know what's getting you so excited. I'm here, Milly, to have an informal chat with you. What? This is the end of the year, and I'm taking a routine check-up. Oh, and are you not going to send me back to Italy? Why, of course not. Oh, hey, Basko, do you hear that? That's what my classes have told me in the first place. And now I'm going to stay here, and I'm going to have to get married. Now, wait a minute, Luigi. Ask this man, you're going to find out they like you even more if you've got some deeper roots in the ground. All right, all right, Basko, starting tomorrow I'm not going to have the deeper roots. Luigi, my son, are you going to marry Rosa? No, Papa, I'm not going to plant the onions. I'm going to have a very exciting and a worried time. But in the end, everything is going to turn out all right. And Mama Mia, next time Mama will write to you, that's going to be 1951. So I want to say that I hope the new year is going to be a good year for you and everybody at the home. And everybody here in this wonderful America that is loved so much by your lovin' son, Luigi Basko, little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley Spearmint showing gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi and they want to remind you that it's a good idea to carry a package or two of Wrigley Spearmint gum with you wherever you go. A stick of Wrigley Spearmint is a wonderful, satisfying treat to enjoy between your meals because it isn't rich or heavy. Yet it's full of delicious, long-lasting flavor. Besides it freshens your taste and sweetens your breath. So remember to get some Wrigley Spearmint chewing gum next time you go to the store and always keep a package or two in your purse or pocket so that you can enjoy a stick whenever you want. The makers of Wrigley Spearmint chewing gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Basko is back in Wrigley. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is directed by Mr. Howard. Mack Benoff writes the script with Lou Derman. J. Carol Lash is starred as Luigi Basko with Alan Reed as Pasquale Jody Gilbert as Rosa Hans Conrad as Schultz Mary Schiff as Miss Paulding Joe Forte as Horowitz and Ken Peters as Holtz. Music is under the direction of Bob Gust. Bob Stephenson speaking. This is CBS