 Okay. Hello, Descon, China. Welcome to CocktailCon. We're a group of hackers that likes making cocktails and sharing cocktail ideas and discussing cocktail culture. Tonight we've got a special surprise for you. We're going to be making some of our favorite cocktails for you and give you the recipes here in the chat. So, because we've got quite a few of us and it's going to mean a lot of drinks, let's just cut to the chase. And we're going to start with Lauren Loss. Lauren, what do you got for us tonight? All right, come on. It did multiple mute things on me. I am making a Mai Tai, which is one of my favorite drinks. I'm fighting an ice cube right now. So, a Mai Tai is pretty easy. It seems complicated and people like to make it complicated, but it's rum. Some fontro. Show the bottle, please. Oh, fine. That's that bottle. Sorry, bad camera. There's your camera. Technology is hard. I don't technology well. I just do it for a living. Lime because, yes, I'm cheap and I don't have real limes. And then the magic is or jet. So, if you can make it, it is almond cordial syrup. And this is not the really sugary one. This is from Fee Brothers. So, it's still really sugary. That's why it lasts a little while in my fridge. But because of that, I don't need to put any sugar in my drink. And you're supposed to shake this, but I don't have a shaker anymore. So, I stir. So, a quick cocktail recipe. If it has juice in the cocktail, it is supposed to be shaken. Otherwise, it's supposed to be stirred. So, James Bond is a fucking idiot. This is very true. Yeah. And I use a mason jar lid to keep the ice out of my drink. Because I poured it over a nice big cube that you can't see it even. I didn't know it should be MacGyver cocktail hour. Oh, man, that's wonderful. Fantastic. Yes. So, I forgot to have a drink when you did your quick toast there. So, thanks, Lauren. I didn't forget. Do it again. Do it like this on man. Come on. Ready? I can't see you guys. So, do it. Come by. So, of course, I don't think anyone did that properly and actually emptied their glass. So, there's no way. Exactly. If you buy Thai, you know you want to work tomorrow. Yeah. We will not last through this thing. And notice my Mai Tai does not have fruit punch or orange juice in it. This is important. Make shot size Mai Tai. No. There you go. I could. I've done it before. Okay. Johnny, get it off camera. Thanks, Lauren. Alrighty. I think we decide next was going to be colorful bow tie. All right. First of all, you need an empty cocktail glass. Oh, here we go. Let's start. Let's see if I can do this before this hits me. All right. So, first, you're going to absinthe wash your glass. So, just pour in a healthy dose of absinthe into your, I'm using a little bottle of absinthe I had into your glass and give it a nice swirl. Make sure you coat that entire glass. And then you're supposed to throw out the absinthe. I throw it out into my mouth. Don't waste the absinthe. Never waste alcohol. That's a terrible thing to do. This is an equal parts cocktail. The first part will be Lilette. This is a reduced wine. It's one part for every piece of this cocktail. So it is one part Lilette, one part gin, one part lemon juice and one part Cointreau. I'll go through that as we go through and pour that into a cocktail shaker as this contains citrus. I will shake my drink, not stir it. Thank you for shaming Lauren. She deserves shaming. You have a base of jar. You clearly have a base of jar lid. Okay, yeah, I didn't climb up and grab a base of jar. Next, I have Hendrix Lunar Gin, which is a great pairing for this cocktail. We're going to do another one part of that into my shaker. Next, this one also has Cointreau. A orange liqueur, triple sec orange liqueur would count, but not taste is great. It's too sweet. It really is. And although it's expensive, you just, there's very few cocktails I have that use this. And so this is just one of them. All right. Oh no, I spilled a bunch of them on the ground. I'm getting the glass hit. Clearly the drink I just pounded is hitting me faster than I can make it through this as I shake it. Let's make sure I don't miss any more of my glass, like I just did. This is what I get for making cocktails at my desk. You fill your glass, and then you take a nice lemon peel that you have peeled off of the lemon without the white pith. Kind of express it over the top. Give it a good rub along the edges and just drop it right in. And then you have yourself one corpse survivor, number two. Salute. Oh, there was no ice left in that shaker because I've been here so long. Oh, I forgot a whole ingredient. Oh my gosh. I was wondering why that was so clear. We are professionals. So he did say he was going to try to make it before that, pounding that last drink hit. He didn't make it. He didn't make it. Lemon juice. That was the last ingredient. So you made a big deal about your citrus. You know what? You have to just drink them separately now. Just drink one of the juice and then the cocktail. So you're sure the drinks that had no juice in it, and then you just poured it in. Oh, god. We're going to go with like the fancy bougie. This is a deconstructed cocktail. You drank all of the ingredients one at a time as you go through. Then you jump up and down to shake it in your tummy. Don't do this. Not recommended. Oh, that is so much better. Okay. A plus. All right. That was a huge mistake not adding the lemon juices cocktail. So for those of you trying to actually make this, one part gin doesn't have to be that gin. It can be any gin. One part orange liqueur. I use Quantro. One part Lilette, the only actual ingredient that I think needs to be name brand. One part lemon juice from this ever-filling glass of lemon juice. And absinthe to rinse the glass. Shake, lemon peel, and enjoy. Salute properly. And if you don't like drinking the absinthe, get a vaporizer spray because it works wonders. Oh, yeah. You can spray it instead of rinsing it. You can do anything you want to get that glass coated and usually want to chill the glass. But that's real technical. This drink goal is called a corksurvivor number two. Important on the number two, not a number one, or 155. It will really mess you up after like two of them. But they're also great hangover cures. Hair in the dog, the bitch out. Hair in the dog. Yep. All righty, get them off camera. Say goodnight, Gracie. Spotlight removed. Spotlight removed. Hi, everyone. You know, we didn't plan any farther than this, so we're winging it. And so that was the plan part. So you can imagine how shitty the rest of this is going to be. Thanks for hanging with us. So let's see who doesn't want to go next. Okay, you're going next. OJ doesn't want to go next. So he's going next. OJ! Hey, everybody. Hey, Jenny. Hold on. I was like, I'm sorry. I've had a couple. And I don't do tech anymore. I just tell you how you're doing your job wrong now. So, all right. Yeah, there we go. Hello, everybody. And my name's Job, also known as OJ. So we're going to have a glass of OJ, but we're going to booze it up a bit. So we're going to have a tequila sunset. And you may say, what's a tequila sunset? It's the same thing as a tequila sunrise. What's the difference between a tequila sunrise and a sunset? The time you drink it. So get your shaker. Make sure it has some ice in it. Make sure you have a glass. You're going to pour it in. Make sure it has some ice in it. And then we're going to go for two parts of tequila. I happen to be using Patron Silver. Some of you made a grimace there, even though I didn't look. Yeah, I was going to say so. Can I teach you about good tequila someday, OJ? Yeah, so I'm going to make this as accessible as possible for everyone in the world market. Two ounces, and we go again. I was like, how many ounces is that part? Are you filled that big? I'm jealous of that jigger. That's amazing. That jigger is kind of crazy. We do one part of grenadine. Oh, I'm already said you don't make your own grenadine. So that goes in. I'm still fixated on the jigger. I'm lusting after it. And then six parts. OJ, that's me. Well, that's a tall, cold drink. And so that's six parts. Is that a six ounce? Hey, hey, colorful bow tie. Are you upset he didn't squeeze his own oranges too? No, but I am slightly like, I wanted to ask Pulp or No Pulp on the corn shoes. We are currently going No Pulp and it has calcium and vitamin D in it. This is a healthy cocktail. This is a healthy cocktail. So we have the shaking and you must make sure you have ample shaking. Shake from the hips upward. There you go. The arms make sure you get proper proper shaking. And I like this shaker because a little cap comes off. It's already got the strainer pour into a glass. Beautiful. I believe that's called a Parisian shaker, right? This kind? Sure. Sure. And a nice little maraschino cherry to garnish. And for a little toast here, if you defend, may your volums be patched and your incidents be few. If you attack, may your payloads always land and your findings be resolved. Ganbei. Ganbei. Ganbei. Ganbei. Wow. No, see that. All right. He's still going for it. Look at that. It's happening. He's not stopping. Oh, no. I'm going to have to go soon after this because there's no way I'm going to be able to keep up if we're draining glasses. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Okay. Thanks for that. I have to wake up tomorrow. Be safe. And I don't know if Johnny is still in charge of the video. And if he took it off, took him off trying to. There we go. He'll figure it out. So real quick interlude. So I'm called Cosmos and Johnny Sparkle there. The two of us are the two who founded Cocktail Con. We actually did this originally at Def Con because we were too lazy to try to go to all the other parties. So we just decided to throw a party and have people show up. But we wanted to be more of a cocktail theme party rather than just loud something music and people making out on the couches and stuff. So not that there's anything wrong with that. But we just, there's enough of that at Def Con. So we wanted to do something a little different. And then, you know, the pandemic happened. And so we just kind of turned it into an online meetup like everyone else has done with everything. But I was involved in booze. So it's better. So anyway, who wants to go next? Johnny wants to go next because he's not going to be able to handle this much longer apparently. Yeah, I can go next. I'm going to make not one, but two cocktails. No, you're not. No, you're not. Hey, give yourself the spotlight. Okay. All right. I'm going to move myself in the spotlight. Thank you for the cue, Mr. Director. All right. So pretty basic cocktail. It's going to be three parts, three equal parts. I'm going to make a boulevardier. And what is a boulevardier? It's an amazing cocktail. I'm going to switch my camera here really quickly so you can see what I'm going to do. Oh, fancy. Mr. I don't do tech anymore with the fancy things. Level camera skills. Management can figure out how to do things. Yeah, because management has money payout. I had some for me. So okay, so nice hands. Thank you. I need a manicure. But you know, given the given the end times, I'm going to give myself a break on that for right now. So what we do is you take a glass, throw some ice into it, mixing glass, ice and three equal parts of bourbon. Campari. I'm not using Campari. I'm using very something very similar, but almost everybody else on the planet uses Campari. This is Bruto Americano by St. George, which is fantastic. Any one of the red-colored aperitifs works fine. And then Street Bermouth. I personally love the Cochi Del Torino, but you can use... Johnny loves Cochi. Well, yes. So here we go. Whether you're using really good bourbon, and you can use whatever bourbon you like. Always use the ingredients that you like. I'm going to use the $5 bourbon and a $300 glass. So mix equal parts. What is that? Oh, granddad. What plastic bottles did you get the bourbon out of? This is a very old Barton. So it's an actual bourbon. It's just the cheapest bourbon I could possibly find, and I bought it on a whim. And actually, it's good for cocktails. Is that proper leaded crystal into the canter? It is. You know, that gives you cancer in the state of California. Given all the other shit I've done in my life and things I've adjusted and eaten and jumped off of and done, that's like the last of my worries at this point. Well, you're also not in California, so you're safe from the leaded crystal. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Chicago's toxic enough on its own. You know, you protect you from anything. We just, we just used lead in everything here. You drink Chicago water. Chicago water is very good. What is this cocktail called, Johnny? This is a boulevardier. Boulevardier. And equal parts bourbon, super mousse, and compari, or other red f-peritivo. And you just put it in a mixing glass stir and have a nice little conversation. Rev, you know what? I'm going to use it in the glass. I like this glass better. Notice how this one was properly stirred because there's no juice in it. Right, absolutely. I was just giving you a demonstration of what not to do. Yeah, thank you. This one, the most important part of the boulevardier is having a proper Death Star ice cube. So, I thought that was a large egg. It is not an egg that is ice. It's a very pretentious piece of ice. Oh, yeah, absolutely. No, it wasn't hand-chipped. It's not that pretentious. Whoa, where's your mason jar lid? Yeah, you know what? I'm low on mason jar lids. So, in lieu of that, I used a strainer. I live in the south. Everything's in a mason jar. Come on. Why are you good at shaking your cocktail in one? Or until you realize that's no moon? I'm up on the step stool. That's no moon. Now, the biggest argument you're going to get is do you use a cherry or do you use an orange? And really, whichever one you want to do is fine. I personally, on a cold day, I like to use cherries. On a warm day, I like to use oranges because I can't get the jar, the lid of this jar off for some reason. I'm going to use an orange. Really certainly. Yeah, you're going to just be that non-committal here. And check out how nice he's about to do this with a knife. I keep pliers in the drawer of my bar for that reason. There might be blood. There may be blood. Oh, also, where's the lighter? He's a professional. Oh, I don't need the lighter. So, what you want to do if you're using an orange slice, just express it like so? Give the glass a nice little rub, and then take that orange slice, put that in there. So, what am I really pretty? Whisper good things to the orange slice. Give your rim a rough because you really want to have that, you know. Switch cameras for the fit. All right, camera A, camera A, camera A. And I'm go. So, that is a boulevardier. I will post the recipe, and it should be available on cocktailcon.org whenever we sober up and get over our hangovers. But here we go. Hey, Duff Con China, wish we could be there maybe next year. Cheers, everyone. Cheers. Cheers. Don't get a hangover if you're drinking. Oh, God, he's doing it. See, no, I'm not. Why would you want it? Oh, no. Oh, no. It's bad. It's bad. Wow. It's good. So glad I went first. Oh, God. Did you say there were two cocktails? Yes, he did. Oh, oh, do you want me to make the other one? I can make the other one. No, no, no. We're going to make you do the other one last. Yes. Oh, okay. You know what? I'm fine. I was going to do a Negroni, so that way you have two different cocktails with the same ingredients. But I will do a last word just to have the last word. Whatever. There you go. All right. So. Please do, Johnny, because I was going to do a Negroni. All right, cool. Sweet. Alrighty. So speaking of which, let's switch it back to gallery view real quick. I actually remembered this time, so I'm there. Alrighty. Sweet. So Krieger, you basically just volunteered yourself saying, I was going to do that. Well, do it, dammit. What a segue, right? All right. So I was trying to figure out which cocktail to make and realized I didn't have any lime juice. So that kind of, you know. Going to keep it in the fridge like I do. Ah, I ran out of it in the fridge. It was my problem. I drink too much lime juice. You're out of lime juice, and you're out of malort. Yeah, it's a rough day here. Whoa, but he's got a slick t-shirt on. Let's all just take a moment to appreciate that. Admire the cocktail con swag. Yes. So I'm going to make a Negroni, which is basically the same thing that Johnny made, except instead of bourbon, you use gin. It's equal parts. Campari, a sweet vermouth, and a gin over ice. I don't have my fancy cocktail shaker like within reach, but I have a glass of ice, right? It's a cute little glass here. It's got some sweet crystal on it. I am also using Hendricks Lunar Gin. It is the gin that I have closest to me. My other bottle of Hendricks gin is much further away. So I'm going to pour one part gin in my glass. Got my bottled sweet vermouth, and I'm using some Giuseppe Carpano sweet vermouth. Again, use whatever you can get your hands on. Sweet vermouth is, to my palate, sweet vermouth. It's all the same. It's probably not all the same, but people will shout at me. Anyway, sweet vermouth. Yes, I'm internally screaming at that last statement. Most people probably will. That was there to trigger some people. And I'm using actual Campari, which is, I don't know if you can see it from the camera, but it is red. It's a liqueur made from bitters. So if you can't find Campari, you can probably substitute any red alcoholic liquid. Wait. Except wine. Fireball also is not adequate. I was like, who could get Katie Apple schnapps in this Campari? Listen, the cocktail is whatever you want to give a name to it. Get wild with your bad self. Just make whatever drink you want. And your end result should be this sort of cute little red here. I'm going to stir it up, you know, with a giant spoon. So Krieger, what weather goes best with what garnish? Oh, garnishes. I'm not fancy enough for garnishes. But I would imagine just garnish it with the breath of your best friend. And then take a breath. Oh, nobody's coming over at your current time. Yes, the breath of your best friend is really bad in coronavirus time. So I would advise against it as your doctor note. I am not a doctor. Anyway, now that we have our negroni, it's beautiful. Look at this. I will say to death. Contrana, cheers. Cheers. Oh, dear Lord. Oh, he's going to do over the trend. This is this is danger. This is bad. This is bad. I'm going to drink a water after this. Hey, Johnny, you might want to get it off of focus for you. He looks like he's going to pop. Do I look that bad? You know, I admit I found this bottle of baiju that I've been avoiding for a long time. So thank you for giving me an excuse to make really bad decisions tonight. That's a really bad decision. That sounds like finding a bottle of soju. Yeah. No, no, soju. Soju, I will drink no problem. This is this is fun. It's adventurous. This is. Hey, Sue. Yeah. How are you doing, Bunny? Fine. Show us the ears, Bunny. I have not brought a bunny up because they may knife me if I do. Show us these ears. Yeah, that one's easier. There we go. Oh, hey, before we do this, I just saw something. Sorry in the chat. Duck duck. Do you still have time to do it? Yeah, absolutely. Sorry. So, Sue, I'm going to cut you off. Are you can you go after duck duck, Sue? Well, I'm not set up to make a drink, but I can tell people how to make a Manhattan. So, we're going to we're going to go do duck duck first because he's he's on a time limit here. So, duck duck, who's really looking like the emperor, emperor Palpatine from the original trilogy here right now. So. Oh, good. I thought that was somebody. Good. How are you, Tom? I was doing this tonight. So, I had to figure out the cocktail because, as you know, I'm not a cocktail man, but I decided what better for a convention type crew than an overnight gin and tonic. So, what we're going to do here is we're going to try and have you drink one night and think you're ready to go in the morning. So, we've got some gin. And let me get a glass because I don't have a special second camera set up. But I do, but not not for this purpose. So, you can do it for the only fan site. Exactly. And you really don't want to see that right now. So, I'm going to do one part of gin. I got some Bombay Sapphire gun there. Whoa, I just looked at your ingredient list for this one. This is a bunker cocktail. Yes. Oh, my God. And we're going to do about two parts of that. That's enough. All drinks with Gatorade are great. Come on. It's hydrate while it dehydrates. The color is just not quite right yet. So, we're going to do a splash of Midori. Show us the Midori bottle. There we go. You want to do just a little bit of that. Not be giant, giant glop though, just there. And then we need some tonic syrup. So, I recommend Mr. Jack Rudy's that is not focusing on the camera because I need to do fun things with my... That's it. There we go. There we go. Freakly. I'm going to use a children's Tylenol syringe and give myself about one and a quarter, one and a half milliliters in there. Use that same syringe on your kids. Absolutely. I was hoping there'd be a splash of children's Tylenol in this beverage. And then we need to stir it. So, we're going to use some bacon because that is after... You know, and the people say the English make terrible drinks, but this is amazing. And I mean, you know, the best place to get bacon is backstage at Sky Talks, of course. Yes. And we're going to take in deference to my heritage. Scottish, not English, but deference to that. We're going to take an ice cube and put it in there. That was a nice sound. That was a beautiful sound. That was a perfect sound effect. There we have an overnight gin and tonic. And I guess... That's terrifying. Duck, duck, duck, duck. I'm both horrified and strangely titillated by this drink. Yeah, I'm surprised. This is like a Bloody Mary. If this Bloody Mary was just ectocooler, high C. I love it. 12-year-old makes for a Bloody Mary. Thank you for sharing. That's amazing. Surprised the ice wasn't made from Nyquil PM. Heli. It should have been Heli. Heli, that's right. Well, actually, I originally was thinking about the syringe for the tonic syrup, but I just needed more of it. Nice. Hey, Johnny. Yes, Carl. Let's throw it over to Sue. Hiya. Sue. There we go. I am actually at... I bought a house with a wet bar, so I moved over to the wet bar. And I'm going to make a Manhattan, which is a very, very common American cocktail. All the old people in my family like them. And now that I'm old, I like them, too. So you start with some ice. And that's enough, not too much. And then two parts bourbon. This is Basil Hayden, Kentucky Bourbon. And it's very good. Let's see. I'm normally a lazy person that just opens a bottle of wine, so this is one of the only cups I make. So two parts of bourbon. One part of bourbon, this is basic for a booth. This is a very basic cocktail in the contemporary meaning of the word. And I'm looking for my measurement. One ounce of vermouth. Is vermouth one of the ones that goes bad? Or is that... Sweet vermouth doesn't go bad as quickly as driver-muth does. So driver-muth needs to go in the refrigerator. Sweet vermouth can stay on the shelf. Yeah, this is sweet vermouth. And I don't know, my dad made martinis and always had vermouth, and he never put it in the fridge. And that wasn't all killed him, so. Yeah, he could have just been like me and whatever that particular liquor is you like doesn't last. I couldn't tell you if bourbon goes bad. And then I just put in two dashes of Angostura bitters. Wait, does the Manhattan not have any flavor? Well, if you don't put any bitters in it, you can get better bitters. It's from the Aroma. It goes down like Everclear. Bart, what do they do to lower this dry, flavorless Manhattan? I did this on top of my previous drink, so I still had a cherry left. American cherry. I love it. But does this go with a winter cocktail or a summer cocktail? This is a winter cocktail. This is a cocktail for all people. You can split the difference and say it's for spring. Okay, yes. Well, it has to be for spring because it's March. Exactly. It's been March for like a year and a half now though, so. It's still March. Which March is it? March 2. March 16. It's the 16th of March 2. It looks like a wonderful night. Thank you, Sue. That looks lovely. Sue, often drink. It looks wonderful, Sue. And you do not have to be like the idiots before you and chug that. I am not going to chug that. Ah, the streak is broken. Yes. No, I am with you, Sue. Don't give my tools. Which is, from Bill and Ted, be excellent to each other. I love it. You're excellent. That's the good one. You're excellent to each other. That's a good one, Sue. I'll call one, Sue. Oh, my goodness. What have we done here? Only great things and bad things. Only great things and bad things. Wow. Let's see. We're... Well, since we already had the Manhattan, can I do a... I can't do the Manhattan, but I can do a little side spin on something related. There's my wife lounging lovely on the chair there. You're married to Deviant, too? Oh. I am married to Deviant. So, actually, can you talk about your travel old-fashioned kit? Or you can do whatever you want. But, man, I thought that was such a great... I can definitely... I haven't traveled in a year. I know, I know. You know what? Now, do what you're going to do. We'll call us in charge. I'm in charge. Classing up a situation when all you've got are garbage ingredients. So, hey, let's go ahead and give them a focus because it looks like Deviant's just taking over. So, yeah. That was a perfect execution that we just saw of the classic Manhattan with the 212. Easy to remember. My phone number is also a Manhattan phone number even though I've never lived there because HackerLife. But if you're using really good quality ingredients and you have yourself a Manhattan that you've prepared, before you pour it directly into your chilled glass, there are a couple of things you can do. One, I will say a good way to hack some of your drinks is if you're going to use a cherry, go for the like, you know, Amarena cherries, the nicer than the grocery store cherries. But for presentation and pageantry, it's pretty hard to beat this little self-hitting bowl type device that we've got here. So if you want to like make a bunch of smoke blow around, we have this kind of stuff, right? And these are very beautiful. I mean, many of us, you know, DEF CON's offices are in Seattle. Many of us are from there. So normally other things would be in the self-hitting bowl. We're not going to do that. But go ahead and get your smoke flowing into the glass just to give it a little essence, right? And to give it a little something, something around the air so that people don't notice that you've actually poured a drink using rotgut rye. And I'm going to say a number of people are cringing at my bottle of martini and rossi with the sweet vermouth there. It doesn't go bad on the shelf, but it's sweet vermouth because it was never good to begin with, right? But being in the ambiance and whatever little flavor you imparted with just, I'm just burning little cherry wood chips here. It ain't tea bag, I got to say. So down back, thank you. Salud, DEF CON China. Salud. Hey, wood chips. Right. Dude, he made a small glass. He cheated. All I can think about is danger zone with that light egg. Yeah. Yeah, it definitely needs to be the rollers going in there, the red light rollers, especially with the self-lighting, the self-smoking bong there. Anyway. Cheers, thanks. Back to work. Hackership, use your vaporizer as a smoker. I love it. So, hey, where are we? Where are we? We got rational whiskey. Yeah. I get to do it and the job's going to do the other variation on it, but that'll work well because it's also hitting 11 here and tomorrow is going to be an odd day. So. It's going to be a great day. It's really just 10 o'clock. I mean, let's face it. It'll be a beautiful day. Daylight saving time. Grand old time, really. All things considered. Back on the Halo map. So, yeah, this background is Halo. Have any of you looked at Star Citizen as a video game? This is Star Citizen. I knew it. Has it actually happened yet? No. Yeah, kind of. That was viable. It's complicated. It is complicated. See, I'm more of an elite dangerous kind of guy, but anyway. Very much exists because one of my dearest friends from school is actually like the community manager, which is the weirdest connection I have to anything. You're coming to us on sub-space frequencies in a galaxy far, far away. I am going to make, in space, so on CocktailCon and get the original story of this is going to pop up, I think, in Jack's talk, one of our favorite cocktails to riff on is the final word, the last word, or my version, which is going to be the smokin' word. And all these are variations on you swap a liquor and some other ingredients, but mostly it's just swapping the main liquor. The smokin' word is with, it's supposed to be lafruig. I don't have lafruig because I drink a lot of lafruig. And instead, I went with the art burg, Kelpie. Kelpie, good stuff. It is this wonderful peaty scotch that the old master distiller for art burg originally described as wanting you to experience sitting in the courtyard of the distillery, getting hit, and I'm going to really mangle his accent, in the fuckin' face by the northern sea. You do wonderful there. So what it is, or this variation of it, is two parts Kelpie. One part, well, share it up. And sorry, space is messing with my camera, the quality to pick up on the booze. One part chartreuse. Now technically, you're supposed to use yellow chartreuse in this. I do not have yellow chartreuse, and I discovered the green chartreuse actually tastes really fuckin' delicious with it. So for the price of this, we're going to use this. Yellow chartreuse is used because it's cheaper. Well, for me, at this time. I'm also speaking of cheaper and being lazy, and picking you off a little off. Lemon juice. Good for you. Yeah, I just, I can't keep lemons around long enough to really do Jack. And get it. So what you do is you blend all the fucking things, and you do this without spilling onto either my flight stick, which is to the left of my computer. My dagger is a magnet. Star Citizen, yep. Yep, Star Citizen. Or it's a keyboard, which is to the right of my shaker, which would result in possibly some odd text showing up in my email, because I have my work email up. They're done that. Yeah, I can go poorly. I feel like if I were to write a DNS security standard. It's always DNS. It's always DNS. And you always have them to secure DNS. I triple E standard for DNS. They're the reason that my handle is rational whiskey as my camera blurs out. I used to write way too much material at a whiskey bar. Published material, like research papers and everything at whiskey bars. And so when I miss whiskey bars so hard. So what's wrong with this? Well, my old Twitter handle was not exactly politically correct. So when I took a job at a consulting company where I actually go up and talk about my research papers at places like DEFCON, one of the constraints on my job was you had to put your Twitter handle on your presentations. So I rapidly had to change my Twitter handle. My boss actually was like, this is so much better than what you had. I'm going to mute quickly so I'm not shattering your ears with shaken eyes. I get it. Pikachu is so dumb. I studied for my master's degree in finals in a bar. So I actually took them in a bar. Johnny, in post, make sure that we put some silly noises over him shaking that. Like, you know, rubber duckies or something. I think it needs to be the shake weight. But the graphics are wonderful things. But this is a spoken word. And I think Jive and I are going back and forth to make sure we're weren't going to make the safe fucking cocktail. And I think he might do the other variations on it. But cheers to China. And I hope you are having a wonderful DEFCON. Cheers. Cheers. Oh, wow. And then it was an excellent sound effect. Hey, China, I'm sorry. I'm going to have to switch from from Bezier to to the the state cocktail of my hometown, Chicago. So I'm going to go to Malort. Hey, DEFCON China, seriously, if you can find Malort, you must get it. Oh, that should be so good. Don't don't don't don't don't look at just just get it. All right. M-A-L-O-R-T. Going to hell. Someone type in the chat. So, hey, since Jive since Jive was referenced 80 times and rather than, you know, having there would be some kind of delayed Jive. You ready? Yes, I am. Sweet zombie Jesus. Let's do this. Hello, China and DEFCON China. Today I'm going to do, you know, hold on, hold on, hold on. AV guys not ready. There we go. Okay. Hello, DEFCON China. I'm going to do a riff on actually it's called the last word or the final word. And it's a take on it's a similar thing to what rational just did. So it's called a last word. So it's an equal part drink where you actually have four different things that go in there, three or more alcohols, and you get an equal parts of each. So first off, I'm going to start off with the, well, lemon juice, because I actually, unlike these other people, I actually have lemons that I use. Hey, produce is hard. Whoa, I use real lemons. I just re-squeeze them into my infinite lemon glass. I have a lot of this fresh lemon development. You start off with this. My lemons were fresh when I went to the last jug. So I can figure out how much of other things to put in because I put a whole lemon in and then however much alcohol, how much liquid that was, that's how much I put out of everything else. This one looks about an ounce and a half. So it goes into a shaker that already has some ice in it. Then it's the luxardo, cherry liquor, and do an equal amount of that. And this stuff kind of pours slowly. So there we go. Then like rational, I use green chartreuse because that's actually what this calls for. I love the fact that we're judging everybody's choices as we make our own drinks. Totally judging everyone. Just so you know, we're going to go back and edit this afterwards so that people are actually using good liquor. No, I'm not. Just like photoshopping a bottle of quality liquor. I'm glad you don't have to do anything to mine. Okay, now the last one is supposed to actually be a 100 proof rye. I don't actually have any 100 proof rye here, so I'm going with a 100 proof bourbon. This one actually I got out of, it's made in the Las Vegas area and it's a smoke wagon. It actually is pretty good actually, and I like the bottle a lot. It's very interesting. So, you know, like I said, equal parts of everything. So it's a very simple thing to make. And then you shake it. And I'm going to mute it also. Shake, shake, shake. Feel like you're shaking. I'm muted as the best because you really get the sound of the shake. I also like to note that both him and the previous mixologist shake from the elbow and not from the hips, so that is not proper. God, it's... Well, I'm sitting. Listen to that. So I wasn't sitting. I thought he was very colorful. Some of us are working on it. I'm trying this out. You put it in. And then I did a slightly warmer one. I have a nice, you know, fair amount of alcohol in here. It does look beautiful. And you know it's right. There's no way I'm going to finish this one off in one drink. And you know what's right when your camera confuses it for a green screen? You know it's green enough when the camera confuses it for a green screen. And by the way, when the season is yellow, why is it so yellow? It is pretty yellow. It's yellow with a green. It's that chroma key chartreuse. What are you doing? Chroma key chartreuse. It's the lemon juice, the fresh lemon juice. Oh, okay. I don't know what else. If you'd used fresh lemon juice instead of lemon juice as a bottle, it would have been a bad color. Thank you, Gives. So cheers. Oh my goodness. Oh, that's good. I am getting lost in his background because there's a lot happening. There's a lot happening in that background. This could be your last birthday that was in person. I got all these stickers there and I made a board out of them. And it's one of my backgrounds. That's wonderful. That's impressive. Alrighty. We're getting down to the bleeding edge here. So it went. Elvis? Yeah, I'm ready. All right, so as of late, sadly, does this look amazing? Do you love these? I love the sideburns. Those sideburns are the wrong Belushi bottle. I feel like I'm in Vegas already. I went as part of the Blues Brothers several Halloween's ago. It was super fun, but you know, whatever. Anyway, so if you, like me, right now, cannot drink alcohol for one reason or another, I'm pretty fucking resentful of it. I'm not going to lie. We are going to make something I have been referring to as the spritzer of sadness. I'm a fan of a spritzer in general, like you can drink a lot more in summer. You're drinking like wine, whatever the fuck. I don't care. Frozen mice in it, frozen sparkling water in it, fruit. It's amazing. Like I said, you get hydrated, you get a little buzz, but you don't have a pain playing over. Like so many of y'all are going to have tomorrow because you've been chugging your drinks. Anyway, so. It's not wrong. What was that? No judgment. Can't remember if you're drinking quality booze. That's that's true. And speaking of quality, I have the finest non-alcoholic soap blanc. I have described it as if you take a bar towel or wring it out into a glass with apple juice. That's about what this tastes like. So we're. Somebody shouts the name of the wine in another room. I am so excited for extra flavor. We leave it in the refrigerator for a week and a half, almost two weeks after opening it, because it's so fucking gross. You can't bring yourself to drink it. I will have you know that the first time I tried this, I did end up dumping celery bitters in it. And that made it somewhat drinkable, but we're on a journey. Some of the best cocktails come from a stance of adversity. Wait, I have a question about this non-alcoholic apple juice. Do you have to leave the cap off to get the aromas of the fridge inside your alcohol? Or do you leave it? I mean, it, I don't know. Let's see if it smells. I don't really know if anything in there. Do you get any leftover eggs? Put the camera on in there. Put the camera on, I want to smell it. It's fucking foul, y'all. I can't smell it. Oh, God, it smells like cabbage. It smells like cabbage. Take it away, take it away. There's no cabbage in my fridge, there's no cabbage. It smells like colorful old-time. Put it away. Grotting roast beef. I showered last week. I make kombucha, too. I mean, oh, yeah, I got, I got a, I call it my scotel over there, and maybe I'll bring it on Gameran just to have in it. It's my scoby hotel. It's, yeah. Anyway, so this is, again, like sort of old pineapple juice since sitting in my fridge. You're noticing a theme here. Let's just dump a little in that in there, because I don't, I don't know. This is just an experiment. I have no fucking idea. I don't know what. How would old milk work in this? No, I don't have any, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that. We are going to use- Is that the Trader Joe's fresh or cold pressed? You bet your ass it is. That's some good fucking pineapple juice. All right. We're going for it. And then I'm just going to give it, oh, wait, wait. I got real lemons. I think that these were some sort of special lemon when I bought them, but I can't see what color they are because my fucking sunglasses, so just someone want to tell me. They look more like orange. Just like normal. They look more like orange. Okay. Okay, they're kind of pink. The internet tells me they are good. They're pink. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to just dump them in there. And that's going to act as my stirring. And we're going to take a little sip. You know, honestly, it's not bad. Not bad at all. I brought a Key Lime LaCroix out just in case. I felt like I was going to vomit, but this is really not that bad considering what it started as. So cheers. Laheim, Slanta, wishing you the best. Laheim, honestly, Key Lime LaCroix is a delight in and of itself. I was going to say, all that LaCroix is going to do is spread out the bad flavor. It's so good. Yeah, I mean. There's Key Lime LaCroix. This does have a little bit of an aftertaste, but like I said, considering where it started, this is like just miles ahead. Is that the Key Lime LaCroix? Listen, the rest of us don't mind the aftertaste. Key Lime or was that the regular LaCroix? This is Key Lime LaCroix. I mean, I love the taste of food. Like the last word, that's my motherfucking jam. Negronis, I love it all. However, yeah, like I said, sadly, I cannot have booze for now. I hope to make a triumphant return someday. Maybe getting back into it with that Key Lime fish distillery that Johnny was talking about. We'll save bottles for you. Thank you so much. I mean, well, he said he saved me a bottle, but I hear there are some nearest, all in the binnies nearest to me. So anyone have any questions you want me to answer about this lovely thing? I can try to... God, no, please. We do marriage ceremonies. I was going to say, do you have any regrets, but obviously we do. I have questions about the sideburns. I have questions about the sideburns. I'll take them offline. Alrighty. So, yeah, I guess we're down to me and Johnny. Are you still going to do another one? Hey, I'll do the last word. You'll do the last word last. So I guess we're on to my sorry ass. So I've never had a sorry ass. So let's try that. Let's do it. Nice. Oh, no, no. This is not a sorry ass. So I'm going to do a presentation on daiquiri. So daiquiri is an important cocktail to know how to make because, quite frankly, it's more just guidelines than an actual specific drink. So classic daiquiri is two parts rum with one part citrus and one part sweet, specifically simple syrup. But the great thing about a daiquiri is literally it can be two parts of liquor, one part citrus, and one part of any sweetener. And that's for claptic. You can have it more sweet and less citrus, or you can add more citrus and sweet. If you want your drink less boozy, or obviously, if you're like me, I'm going to make it with a little less citrus and sweet. So it's more because that's the way I roll. So rum, all different kinds of rums. I'm a tiki bar kind of person. So I generally like blending a Jamaican style rum. And I'm going to go with the Smith and Croft. Nice choice. I'm going to go with an ounce of Smith and Croft. And then I am also going to put in an ounce of rum from Martinique. This is a French Caribbean style rum that described as agricultural. I mean, it's more grassy. It's more earthy. Rum, if you're not familiar with it, is liquor distilled from sugarcane. So, Carl, if they've only got Bacardi as a reference, how would you describe Jamaican rums from Bacardi? More caramel. Bacardi, if you're going to go with cheap rum and you only have cheap rum available, cruzon is better than Bacardi. I don't know if internationally, which has more distribution. And the age of cruzon is very good. Also, traditionally, you probably saw my rums are kind of dark colored. Rum, it's daiquiris, traditionally, are made with light rum. White rum clear, like what you saw earlier from drinks. But again, the great thing about daiquiris is it doesn't matter. Booze, citrus, sweet. Two parts booze, one part citrus, one part sweet is the traditional ratio, and you just adjust it from there for however you like it. So, I got my two parts of booze. I'm going to put in, instead of an ounce of simple syrup, I'm going to put in three quarters of an ounce of simple syrup. Simple syrup is just one part sugar and one part water mixed together. You can make it go faster by doing it overheat, or you can just let it sit and shake it however you want to do it. But it's just equal parts cane sugar dissolved in water. And then I'm going to go with lime juice. And I am going to, again, go with three quarters of an ounce. I actually bothered to squeeze some limes. Thank you very much. Infinite glass of wine juice. And again, because it's got citrus in it, because it's got juice in it, you shake it, you don't stir. I'm feeling very judged by you people. I'm just saying. It feels like your techniques got actually coming from the diaphragm rather than the hips, so we're getting better. A little better, a little better. I don't know what's almost in red. I'm sitting. It's harder to do while sitting, I find. So, and then coupe glass, right? Straight in there. This one's got a strainer in the lid, so. Your coupe glass has to have pretty glass etchings in it to be a real coupe glass. It does not. Actually, you're going to be like that. Coupe glass, what makes it a coupe is it actually curves in at the top a little bit. That is the definition of a coupe glass. No, it's not a coupe. It's a coupe. Mara, coupe, whatever. Make sure it is molded after the left breast of the famed French aristocrat Marie Antoinette. I'm glad you were able to articulate that better than I was, because that was the last question. So this is a daiquiri. Again, very classic ratio, 2-1-1, liquor, sweet, sour. And, you know, may you be the person your dog thinks you are. My dogs are ignoring me right now. They'll like screw you. Cheers. They're like, oh, oh, oh. There it goes. There it goes. It must be Carl's bedtime, because he's just drinking that and going. Where's the Mallorca? I think we got six of the nine mixologists here that finish their drink. I'm not a mixologist. I did not go to grad school. So I'm just a bartender. We're going to, I'm going to make one more quick, just say one more thing before we go to Johnny with the last word and we'll actually end with Johnny finishing his last word and one last quick toast. Thanks for hanging out with us tonight. We're kind of drinking irresponsibly. What did she say? It's Tuesday night. Many of us are working tomorrow. But hey, right? We planned ahead. We knew we were doing this. So thanks for hanging with us. I hope you've had fun first of all. I hope you learned something, maybe. I don't know. And also one last quick announcement. You may have noticed I have a little something going across my hat. That first person who texts that number can expect a gift in the mail. Anyway, I'll just leave it at that. Johnny, take us home. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Okay, all right. I'm going to do, so hold on one second. I've got a, I've had a couple. Okay, all right, cool. Yeah. So look at this guy's going, Johnny's drunk. He's blushing. I've got the Asian brush going on, but other than that. So it's really fantastic that in a in a hacker culture, we've seen all these riffs on the last word. And I'm going to show you the mother cocktail, the last word. And it is a fantastic lost cocktail. I'm so glad that it was rediscovered and brought back into the cocktail drinking mainstream. Again, all of us here, we are drink slingers. You know, we, I don't think any of us took a formalized post-grad education on cocktail making. So none of us are, are a mixologist, but I did. Post-grad taught me to drink. Yes, post-grad would generally drive one to drink. But, you know, that's, that's, that's the way it is. So the last word is, is a cocktail near and dear to my heart because I hated gin for most of my life. And then when I was reintroduced to gin, this was one of the first cocktails I had. And it's like, holy crap, gin's fantastic. So it's, it's three equal parts cocktail. It's a great mother cocktail. I'm going to use gin in this case. You know, let me take off this. Amazing, but ultimately use this background. We all have to make sacrifices. Yes. So this gin, death store gin from Wisconsin, fantastic. But any gin you want, London Dry Gin's are probably better for this cocktail. You know, fuck it. Wait, hold on. Are we recommending commercial range? We're going off the line. We're going off the line. We dropped the mic and locked away. Slushy dry gins are bad. Round of scope. There we go. Round of scope. Oh, playmate. So yeah, we'll get off to our playmate, Sipsmith. Hey, another two is another fantastic gin, about half the price of Sipsmith. You won't really notice the difference. So anyway, so dry gin, London Dry Gin. This is one you cannot mix with anything else. Green char chews. Any other thing that's green or whatever just won't cut it. Soon as a dory. Oh my dory, no. So you know what? I'm not going to say no. We're all hackers. Make the mistake and let us know about it. And then Luxardo, Maraschino, L'Cours. You might hear this called Maraschino and I called it Maraschino for years and years and years until I discovered that Maraschino is not Italian. Italians just like it so much they pretend it's theirs. So, anyway. No, true, true, true, true. That's a real proof. Sardo pronounced like 16 different ways during this call alone. Yeah. It's true. It's true. Because we're American and we don't give a fuck about how things are pronounced. And you're not going to tell me. That's gotta be true. Yeah, Luxardo, Maraschino, L'Cours. Yeah. I love the fact that several times tonight any red liquor will do has thinned. Pianti, I want to see Pianti. It plays Luxardo. Luxardo. Oh, my God. Got it. Yeah, Harry Brandy. That was my bad. So, take your shaker. I have a little baby shaker here that I like very much. Oh, it's cute. I know, isn't it? Pretty good. You take your lime. I have a fresh lime. I'm going to squeeze it. When you take, when you squeeze your fruits, make sure you take the label off the fruit first. And in fact, when I used, so I used to work in a nightclub and actually a few of them. And one of the things we would do is that when it was unwashed, it would have the label on it. We'd take the peel off, wash it, and that way we knew that did not have a label on it. You have to get rid of it quickly because the chemicals we put on vegetables in the U.S., make them last or this is a fruit, not a vegetable. You know, I think this has been talked about. So, the chemicals we put on our produce in the U.S., make them last a really long time out of the refrigerator. So, make sure you peel it, wash it, always peel it, then wash it. Oh, you know what? Let's switch cameras because, damn, I love it. Yeah, where's your fancy camera, damn it. I know, I know, I know, I know. Okay, there we go. Okay, all right. Let me get all those. Well, there are a lot more bottles said than there were before. All right. Oh, let me tell you, man. This is the blame for a lot of what's going on tonight. So, okay. I want to know about that early morning call you've got tomorrow. So, again, with the grape openel knife. You get more and more dangerous with that knife and it makes me nervous. What's with the fingers? Oh, okay. That's a wonderful sharp, too. So, when I was, when I worked as a chef, I was also drunk a lot of the time. So, you hold your hand like this and that way when you cut, you don't end up cutting your fingers tips off. So, cat's paw. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, tiger claw. So, okay. Wow. Take that. Wow. That's like magic. Mine comes from a plastic bottle. Wait, you didn't measure that. How much, how do you know how much liquid was there? This is half a lime's worth of liquid. The math checks out. Math checks out. One part, half a lime. It's like a, it's like a thousandth of a hammer. Google translate the ounces. One part, gin. I was kind of hoping you were going to start pouring it into the lime shell and you think the lime is your part. God, that would be brilliant. A lime jigger. Let's take that away. I can't move it without making everything fall apart. One part, maraschino. If somebody calls it maraschino, just go along with it. And one part of the elixir green chartreuse. Now, I mean the funny thing is so that there are only three people on the planet who know how to make green chartreuse. They are monks. They live together and they drive poorly to the monastery every day. So the abbot of the monastery is terrified. They're going to get in a car accident and die. And then chartreuse will forever disappear from this planet. Why don't they make them just live at the chartreuse? Like where it's safe? Stay there. Don't go anywhere. Because where's the fun in that? I mean it doesn't make any sense at all. Every single day for my job. Why can't these monks just write the documentation? If your art isn't in constant fear of being killed out then. Fancy chilled martini glass. What are you doing there? Pro bar tip, you take a cocktail glass. You fill it with some shaved ice. Throw some water on top. And when you're done, you have a lovely chilled glass. I have a fancy looks out of cherry already ready to go. So I put it in the bottom of the glass. That way I don't make a big splash. That looks like a black olive. Come on. He got a jar open. He worked hard for that. Shake, shake, shake. You shake this. Shake it like it owes you money, right? Shake it like it owes you money. Sounds like half of my hips. Just saying. And now if you're really fancy ass like Mr. Colorful Boat's Eye, he would actually pour this through another strainer and double strain it. But I'm not quite that fancy. And I'm going to switch cameras. Camera on. Camera on. Camera on. Camera on. Cut the camera on. Camera on. Here you go. Woo hoo. Look at that. That looks pretty fancy. That looks gorgeous. That looks pretty pretty. Yeah. Pinkies out, bitches. Oh man, that tastes like heaven. God damn it. I just want to say, Johnny, seeing your bourbon in the fancy decanter makes me want to put my exact same bottle of bourbon in my fancy decanter. So when people come over, they drink that. They're not touching my panties or my wellers. I'm going to go for the next one. All right, so that's the last word, folks. Hey, Def Con. Def Con, China, thank you so much for having us on. We love you all. We will see you at some point. And Slauncha, cheers, and gun bye. Gun bye. Gun bye. Thanks to Def Con for asking us to do this. It's been a lot of fun. And I hope it was fun for you all too. Good night. Boop. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Back to the planet.