 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeves. Hee hee hee! Each week at this time, the Craft Cheese Company presents for your enjoyment, Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeves, written by Leonard L. Evanson. We'll hear from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. But right now, here's an important message for you. Probably all of you are aware of the efforts of our government to make us a healthier, more vigorous nation by improving our diets. This food, proper nutrition, is as important these days as airplanes. And that's why you should know about parquet margarine, made by Craft. It's not only a delicious spread for bread, it's also rich in nourishing food elements your whole family needs. Of course, most people like parquet margarine because it tastes so good spread on bread, hot rolls, or toast. But health-conscious housewives also use parquet because it's a protective food of exceptionally high nutritional value. Yes, parquet margarine is one of the best energy foods you can serve. And to make its natural, wholesome goodness even better for you, Craft adds 9,000 units of vitamin A to every pound of parquet, making it a reliable year-round source of this important vitamin. Why not ask your food dealer for parquet margarine tomorrow? One taste will tell you it's a superior product made to craft the exacting standards of quality. Yes, you'll like its flavor and you'll like its economy, too. Just say parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Last week, Throckmorton feed Gildersleeve, Fibre McGee's next-door neighbor left Wispel Vista to become the legal guardian of his niece and nephew, Marjorie and Leroy Forester in the city of Summerfield. Relaxing after a hard week's work as father, mother, and big brother to the pair, we find the great Gildersleeve explaining the finer points of baseball to Leroy. As a result of that play, Leroy, we have a member of our team on each base. You understand? Yeah, the bags are loaded. Come on, gang! Now, Leroy, don't get so excited. Remember, this is only a baseball game. Why, you robber? As I was saying, Leroy, we mustn't give way to our emotions. No, Sir Uncle Morton. Yes, let's remember to be sportsmen. Get an umpire! Always give the other fellow the benefit of the doubt, Leroy. Free your grandmother! Ah, shut up, you big windbag! I am not. The umpire is nothing but a horse thief. Horse thief? I'm sorry, sir, but I've warned you before. Everybody's complaining. What do you mean, everybody? I'm not complaining, am I? Hey, Jesse James, where's your horse? We can't tolerate this any longer. Now, you'll have to get out. All right, we'll get out. Come on, Leroy. We've seen this newsreel three times already anyway. Hope he gets a cap. Careful stepping on people's feet. Give me an advance on next week's allowance. I'll treat you to an ice cream cone. No thanks, Leroy. It's time we go home and fix up for that tea party your sister's giving at five o'clock. Ah, G, do we have to go to be at that sissy party? Well, I'm afraid so, Leroy. Marjorie seems to think a lot of young Ted will. Yeah, they're stuck on each other, all right. But why drag us into it? Well, now that I'm guardian for you two, she wants me to meet Ted's parents under the proper social circumstances. Couldn't you just bump into him someplace like in the butcher shop? You mean meet him in the meat market? No, I'm afraid it's too late for that. Marjorie's worked awfully hard preparing for this afternoon. And she must be all ready by now. Come on, Leroy. That's all taken care of. Oh, Birdie. Yes, Miss Marge? Will you please put the cake in the back of the pantry while I fold it? Yes, ma'am. You sure worked hard, and you sure did put it. That's my big surprise, and I don't want anything to happen to it. County courthouse. Judge Hooker, please. One moment. Hooker speaking. What is it? Hello, Judge Hooker. This is Marjorie Forester. You remember me, don't you? Well, should I? Well, of course. Just last week, you appointed my uncle as guardian for my brother and me. I did? Who is your uncle? Crockmorton P. Gildersleeve. Who? Gildersleeve. Two years in state meditantry. What? Oh, I'm in the courtroom, my dear. Sentencing a prisoner. What do you call about? Oh, I'd like to have you come to tea this afternoon, so you and Uncle Morton get to be better friends. How can we get to be better friends when we hate each other's, when we hate each other at the beginning? Oh, now, Judge, I plan this as a surprise for Uncle Mort. Oh, going to surprise him, eh? Mm-hmm. All right, I'll come. And when he sees me, won't all of his chins drop? Oh, birdie, Judge Hooker's coming. Won't Uncle Morton be pleased? Some says yes, and some says no. Oh, oh, look at the time. I'm late for my manicure appointment. I walk as far as the store with you. I've got some things to pick up. Oh, I do hope everybody will like my cake, all right? They sure will, honey. It's just simply scrumptious. Oh, thanks, birdie. It's got to be good. His mother is so discriminating and critical. Yes, and she keeps her nose up in the air like she ain't been introduced to what she's smelling. Never mind, birdie. Let's go out the back ways. Quicker. Oh, my tree. We're back. Hello, anybody home? Leroy, I don't believe anybody's home. Doggonad, I thought we could get something to eat. It's been a long time since lunch. Yes, at least two hours. Suppose we rummage around in the kitchen. There's bound to be something here. I usually look in the pantry first. Ah, the voice of experience. Well, here's a lot of canned goods we could open. Kitchen cleanser, tennis balls, shellac, motor oil. Just call out if there's anything you like. Crunchy cornies. Some genuine New England chop suey sauce. Hey, what's that in the back of the cupboard, Uncle Mort? Where? Oh, boy, a cake. See, it's lucky you saw this. It's a honey. Looks good enough to eat. What are we waiting for? Here's a knife. One moment, Leroy. This cake hasn't been started yet. I don't think we should cut into it. Oh, it won't hurt to take one piece, Uncle Mort. Well, maybe not. But remember, just a piece of piece. Okay, here's a knife. Thanks. Here you are. Oh, boy, this is delicious. Is that so? Well, excuse me while I try my piece. This is delicious, Uncle Mort. Uh, yes, sir. My fine cake. That's the end of it. Stuffy in here, isn't it? I see what you mean. Oh, well, hello, Bertie. Oh, there you are, Leroy. That's a lot of kitchen for something you don't speculate. Who, me? I don't want to eat these. Not now. Good. You save your appetite for the tea party. Your sister's done whipped together the most delectable cake. Yes, we know of her, yes. She did it cause it's important to impress Mr. Wills' mother that she's a good housewife. Looks like Mr. Wills won't get a house and a wife. Oh, I see. Yes, Miss Marge worked her pretty fingers to the bone, baking all day. That's a surprise she's been talking about. Uh-oh. Now you want to take a peek at it? I'll show you. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, but she got it so beautifully redecorated. Now, Bertie, don't go spoiling the surprise. It ain't going to spoil nothing. Oh, yes, it would. Leroy, isn't there something Bertie could go to the store after? After when? I mean, Bertie, would you mind running down to the cigar store and getting me some punch-a-nill-o panatellas? But I got work to do. Leroy can get them. He's a miner. They won't sell him. I mean, uh... Here's a dollar. Get a whole box. But Mr. Gill is me. Hurry now. Hurry. They may sell out. Remember, punch-a-nill-o panatella. Yeah. Hi, George. That isn't a bad name for a cigar, seeing that I just made it up. Oh, my goodness, Leroy. Why didn't you stop me from eating that cake? Boy, are we going to catch it when Marge gets back? Uh, what do you say we take a short walk till about bedtime? Yeah, that's very good. Oh, no. We've got to face the consequences. Not me, Uncle Moore. I'll see you later. Come back here, young man. You don't see me running away. I'm going to stick my chin out and take it. That's not your chin sticking out, Uncle Moore. Never mind. Uh, Leroy, we've got to find some way to get an exact duplicate of that cake before that party starts. Oh, my. Who's that? That's old lady Snoop who lives next door. She's worse than an earache, Uncle Moore. I don't know the lady, Leroy, but I'm sure you're mistaken. I'll just see what Mrs. Snoop wants. No, no, Uncle, her name isn't... Ah, how do you do, Mrs. Snoop? Mrs. Snoop? Where do you, Uncle? Oh, I'm so glad to meet you, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. I'm the girl who lives next door. Your niece, Marge, told me so much about you. I feel we're practically old friends. Uncle Moore. Is Marge here? No, no, I remember seeing her go down the street half an hour ago through my front curtains. You'd be surprised at all that I see through them. I see what you meant, Leroy. Well, anyway, I was looking for Marge Ray, but I suppose you'll do instead. I will? Oh, well, what for, Mrs... Din Whitty. Henrietta Din Whitty. With an M, not an M, and the accent on the witty, not on the din. What do you want me for, Mrs. Din Whittle? Oh, you'd be surprised, Mr.... Oh, I mean, I just dropped in to get a cup of sugar. Of course. Leroy, where's the sugar? Where's the cup? Oh, dear, imagine me. Oh, I forgot to bring one. I guess I'll just have to borrow a cup, too. Yeah. Oh, now, now, Mr. Gildersleeve, you'll have to excuse a poor little flustered bachelor girl. No, Leroy, not the lump sugar. They're granulated just like I always borrow. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve, as I was saying, it isn't often that I get to meet such a handsome man with dark curly hair and mirry brown eyes. Here's your sugar. Yes, thank you, Leroy. Well, it was so nice being introduced to you, Mr. Gildersleeve, and don't you worry about the sugar. You'll be getting it back sooner than you expect. Oh, that old hen, she makes me sick. Me, too. Yeah, and a couple of weeks ago, Miserie showed her a picture of you and she said you look like Ronald Coleman. Ronald Coleman, eh? Yeah. Can you imagine that silly day? Leroy, this is a free country. Better put the sugar back. Oh, wait a minute. They use sugar and baking cakes, don't they? Sure. Leroy, I know how we can save Marjorie's party. How? Bake her another cake. Can you bake a cake, Uncle Morse? I don't know. I never tried. But it ought to be simple. After all, millions of women bake cakes every day, we ought to be able to do anything they can do. What do you mean, we? I'm not going to get mixed up in no sissy proposition like that. But Leroy, there's nothing sissy about baking. Look at the cowboys who bake their own sourdough bread. And the Indians grinding their own corn into corn fritters. And the cooks in the Navy making sea biscuits. Well, I guess you're right. Yes, well, let's get started. Should we use a cookbook or make it up as we go along? Well, it should be a cookbook in one of these drawers. Here's one right here. Cooking in six easy lessons are the bride's best friend. Well, let me see now. Here's one, a mocha-cocoa tapioca cake. Sounds too complicated. Get a soup cake with gumdrop icing. Gee, Uncle Moore, don't they make cake out of cake anymore? I guess not. Look at this picture, Leroy. Doesn't it look like the cake we ate? Yeah, Lady Baltimore cake. Yeah, that's it. Now all we got to do is copy this one. Okay, what do we do? First, three cups of sifted cake flour. We got any cake flour? Nope. Here's some buckwheat flour. Well, I doubt if there's any difference. Next, three teaspoons of baking powder. Here's a box of baking soda. Is it powdered? Yeah, it is. That's what they must have meant anyway. Now, salt, shortening, sugar, half a cup of milk. You used all of today's milk and yesterday's is sour. Fine. My mother always used sour milk in her cakes. It'll give it that old-fashioned sour taste. Teaspoon of vanilla and six egg whites. Hard-boiled or poached? No, Leroy, raw. It's easier to separate the whites from the yellow if they're hard-boiled, Leroy. Leroy, this is no picnic. You sift the flour, the baking powder and the salt together. Here, use this sifter. Okay. And I'll take the other stuff. Beat egg whites until stiff, it says. Who me or the eggs? Hey, Uncle Morse. Yes? This sifter leaks. Leaks? Oh, oh yes, and look at the flour on the floor. Get some more, Leroy. Wait, I know how we can speed things up. We'll just dump all the ingredients in the electric mixer. Oh, that's a swell idea. Yes. It takes a man to figure out all the shortcuts in life. Let's just pour everything into the bowl. There. Shall I turn on the mixer now, Uncle Morse? Yes. Excuse me. Oh, my goodness, Birdie. She mustn't see this mess. I'll get rid of her. You stay here. Well, Birdie, did you get me those punch-and-n-low panatellas? Not exactly, Mr. Gale Sleeve. I've been to seven stores looking for them. And three of them were fresh out whilst the other four have them in the morning. They will, eh? Yes, sir. Now I better be getting back in the kitchen. Yes. Oh, no. I mean, I've got to have those cigars, Birdie. Well, maybe after I finish my work in the kitchen. It'd be worth a dollar to me to get those cigars now. Huh? Well, maybe in that case I could... What's that? Uh, I suppose it's a truck coming up the hill. There ain't no hill around here. It's like my electric mixing machine in distress. I better go see it. Uh, go ahead if you want to lose that $3. What $3? For bringing back those cigars. Does I get it in advance? Yeah, yes. Here you are, Birdie. Thank you, sir. I'll just go on out the back way. It's quicker. No, no, no. Use the front door. It's bad luck to use the back door when you're buying cigars. Take your time, Birdie. Goodbye. Wow. That was a close shave. Oh, sounds like the boys in trouble. They're coming, Leroy. Ah, don't come out, Leroy. Go back. I can't hear you. What's wrong with the mixer? They're throwing the cake. Where's that switch, Leroy? Watch your fingers, Uncle Leroy. I think I've got it now. Oh, what a mess. Here's a towel, Leroy. Wipe the cake out of your eyes. Oh, Mr. Gillespie. Oh, jumping jelly beans. There's that woman from next door again. Oh, don't let her in here, Uncle Mort. She'll blab everything, tomorrow. Don't worry. I'll get rid of that gargoyle. Coming, Miss Dunwoody. Ah, there you are. Oh, Mr. Gillespie. I bet you think I'm an awful pest. Oh, no, not at all. But I wonder if I could trouble you for an egg. Uh, an egg? Yes, an egg. Chicken's hometown. I know just where Marjorie keeps them, so if you don't mind... Don't trouble yourself. Leroy, hand me out an egg, please. How do you want it? Hard boiled or poached? In the shell. Right, boy. Lovely weather we're having, isn't it? Yes. It's perfect weather for a ride in the country. I love to pack a picnic basket. There's your egg. Uh, thanks, Leroy. Yes, thanks, Leroy. Thanks very much. Goodbye, Miss Dunwoody. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Did you brush her off, honk? No, she's walking down the steps. Let's hurry with the cake. All we have to do is pour the batter into the pans. Fine, but before I mess myself up any more, I'm going to put on Birdie's bungalow apron. Help me into it, Leroy. Oh, but she, Uncle Mort. Hold it up higher, Leroy. Fine. I'll run around the back and tie the strings. Boop! Not so tight, my boy. That's it. You sure look funny, Uncle Mort. Uh-oh. Front doorbell. What kind of a house is this? Leroy, see if you can get that cake into the oven. I'm going to answer the door. Oh, but Uncle, that apron! It's all right. It's dark in the hallway. That's right. Waste the electricity. Ah! Good afternoon, Madam. Do you sag and slump over heavy scrubbing? Have you got that dish washing droop? Droop, droop. Are you proud of the shape you're in? Oh, see here. You nearsighted little nincompoop. Bad cold you have there, Madam. Now, I've got a girdle here. That's the answer to all your prayers. It's a gilded-sleeve glamour girdle. It'll keep you in, but you'll never wear it out. Ha-ha-ha! Yes, sir. Now, as a special inducement, I have persuaded old man gilded-sleeve to cut the price of this girdle to $3.99. You persuaded old man gilded-sleeve, eh? Yeah, sure. You'd be surprised how palsy-wellsy I am with the little bloody daddy. Boop! Why, of all the... I know, but you should do something about that coal-lady. Now, Madam, if you'd care to try on one more... No, no, I happen to own... You already own a gilded-sleeve girdle? Yes. Very good. But have you got a spare? Mr. You'd be surprised how many gilded-sleeve girdles I have to spare. Good day. Of all the interruptions. How's the cake doing, Leroy? Oh, swell, Uncle Moore. It looks better or...? Yes. Splendid. Now, who's that? A man can't even bake a cake around here. All right, all right, I'm coming. Now, see here you... See what, Mr. Gilded-sleeve? Oh, oh, hello, Judge Hooker. Come in, this is quite a surprise. That's what it was meant to be. What are you doing in the apron? Playing house? Yeah, that's very funny. No, I'm not playing house. Oh, boy, does it look swell. Oh, hello, Judge Hooker. What are you doing here? Hello, Leroy, my boy. What have you and your uncle been up to now? Why, we've been... Yeah, nothing at all, Your Honor. Leroy, time to get cleaned up. And my look at me, I'm a mess. Yes. I'll go with you, Leroy. Make yourself at home, Judge. And I came early just to ask you two a few questions. We'll be back, Your Honor. Something funny going on around here. Smells like a cake I'm smelling. I'd better see what they've been doing in the kitchen. A layer cake. Looks like it would taste good, too. I wish I wasn't on that darn diet. I'd take a piece. Not that one piece had hurt me. I, George, I believe I will. Mighty good cake. I think I'll have another piece. Oh, that's a bad coffee out there. Here, let me get you a glass of water. Oh, you've been eating our nice new cake. And after I worked my fingers to the bone. Oh, my goodness, I'm getting sick. By George, you are wide around the gills. That cake, that cake, I ate some. No good, eh? No, my pills. I left some home. Better take me there now. Oh, why did I ever take up baking? Leroy! Leroy! I better throw this cake out of the window. There. Farewell, Lady Baltimore. Yes, call me a cab quickly. Gee, what's wrong with the judge? I've got to take him home. He's suffering from a bad attack of Lady Baltimore. What do you say, sir? I'm going to see that big cake in your shop window. I'd like to buy it. But that's a wedding cake. I know, but it could pass for a party cake if we knock off the bride and groom. How much do you want for it? I'm sorry, I couldn't sell it to you. Oh, baked it for a wedding, eh? But they'll just have to get married tomorrow. But really, Mr. I couldn't let you... You couldn't, huh? Here's a $10 bill. Now how do I get that cake? Well, if you insist. Never mind wrapping it. I've got a taxi outside. Just hand it here. Eh, thanks. I'll open the door, will you? Yes. Goodbye. Oh, Mama. Yes? I just made a big sale. A man bought that wedding cake we've had in the window for the last two years. Uh, Leroy? Anybody in the kitchen with you? Did you find a cake? Did I? Take a look. Oh, boy. That's a dilly. Not bad, eh? Who says you can't eat your cake and have a two? Oh, Mr. Gilles' leave. Oh, that's Miss Din Woody again. Leroy, put this cake in the pantry while I answer the door. I'll strangle that old seagull. Oh, Mr. Gilles' leave. You must think I'm terrible running in and out all the live long day. Yes. Borrowing things all the time. Well, it's because the road to a man's heart is through his stomach. And if that's the case, why, your road, it's so wide. Well, I mean, I... What do you want this time? Oh, it's nothing really. But I just brought you something I baked for you with my own little hands. A cake. Well, thank you just the same, Mr. Inwitted. But I have a cake. A great, big, beautiful $10 cake. And furthermore, I'm fed up on cake. Goodbye. That takes care of that. Oh, Uncle Mord, I'm looking all over for you. Come in the living room and meet everyone. I'm about to serve the cake I baked this afternoon. The cake? Oh, yes. Marjorie, there's something deep down inside of me that's weighing heavily on my conscience. What is it? It's your cake. I ate it. But, Uncle Mord, how could you? Leroy, help me. Oh, Uncle Frockmord, and what'll I do now? Don't worry, honey. I went out and got the biggest and best-looking cake money could buy. Oh, but I couldn't deceive her. It's all right. What they don't know won't hurt them. Now, let's go in and meet the folks, huh? Oh, there he is, Mr. Gillsleeve. Yeah, I got him for you. Got what for me, Bertie? Them punchinella panatellas. The man, he didn't have none in stock, but he rolled them while I waited, and it cost $8 a box. Oh, my. More expense. Well, never mind that now. Bertie, get that big cake out of the pantry and you serve it. And remember, no matter how different it looks, that's the one Miss Marjorie baked. Who? Yeah, come on, Marjorie. Look out, Mrs. Wills. Oh, Mrs. Wills, I want you to meet my uncle, Mr. Gildersleeve. Charmed, Mrs. Wills. Excuse me for being tardy, but I had to take home a friend who was suffering from a sick cake. I mean a sick headache. No, I see. Speaking of cakes, Marjorie, Ted has told me about the angel food cake you baked. Angel food? Well, I thought it was more of a lady Baltimore cake like they serve at weddings. Oh, really, Mr. Gildersleeve? They don't serve Baltimore cakes at weddings. Not even in Maryland? Well, no matter what kind of a cake Marjorie bakes, it's always delicious. Oh, now, Uncle Marjorie. Just wait, Mrs. Wills, and you sink your teeth into this one. Oh, Birdie's bringing it in now. Oh, my, it looks quite professional, doesn't it? Well, I don't believe a pastry chef could do any better. Hey, go ahead, Marjorie, you cut it. You cut the first slice, Uncle Marjorie. After all, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be eating this cake. I see what you mean. Hey, give me the knife, Birdie. Frosting's a little thick. Dull knife. Birdie, haven't we got a sharper knife? No, Mr. Gildersleeve, but we've got an axe. Never mind, I'll manage with this. Goodness, it's made out of plaster of Paris. The Great Gildersleeve will be with us again in just a minute. But first, I want to tell you something that should make every quality-wise and economy-minded housewife want to try Parquet Marjoran first thing tomorrow. Here it is. Now you can have a high-quality product made by Kraft that's so downright good as a spread for bread, toaster rolls that you'll want to use it lavishly as a seasoning for hot vegetables, a shortening for baking, and for pan-frying, too. Yes, that quality-craft product is Parquet Marjoran. It tastes so good that you'll want to use lots of it at the table and for cooking, and it costs so little. You can use all you want without being extravagant at all. Yes, use all you want for baking. Remember, Parquet is a real flavor shortening that makes better tasting cakes and cookies. Here's what one user says about Parquet Marjoran. I'll read you a few lines from a letter from Mrs. Emma Hartman of Cavetown, Maryland. Now, we didn't ask Mrs. Hartman for this letter. She was so enthusiastic about Parquet, she just had to tell us about it. Quote, I would like to tell you how well I like Parquet. I use it for everything I want to be especially nice because of fine flavor. You see, the secret of Parquet's popularity is its delicious flavor, and housewives with an eye to food value like it because it's such a nourishing energy food that contains plenty of vitamin A. Yes, every pound of Parquet Marjoran contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. So you know it's not only good tasting, but good for you, too. MUSIC You took me seriously when I was just kidding. Well, really, Mr. Gildesley. That cake you baked for me. Some people just dropped in at our place, and that cake would just about save the day for me, Angel, a cake. Oh, it would? Well, then take it, by all means. Oh, Mr. Inwitty, you're an angel. I'm so happy I could kiss you. Mr. Gildesley. Oh, that is. I didn't quite mean it. It was so nice of you. Say, where are you going? In to bake you another cake. Oh, my. Good night. Original music was composed and conducted by William Randolph. This is Jim Bannon speaking for the Kraft Cheese Company and inviting you to be with us again next week at this same time for the further adventures of The Great Gildersley. This is The National Broadcasting Company.